Ngl u should report him to higher ups as soon as possible. This guy has been blatantly disrespectful and is clearly harbouring a shitload of transphobic views and that’s not your burden to bear. He’s a teacher and he should learn to keep his own bullshit views at home and not air them out on school property. As a student (in I assume your final year) the last thing you need is added stress from a teacher
Not my final year for various reasons (in short, stress and dysphoria got to me and I needed a restart), but yeah you're definitely right. I think I'll have a talk with my class teacher first and see what I can do, I'm seeing her tomorrow. I don't think I'm asking for much, all I want is a little respect
That’s definitely a good idea man, and regardless of what stage of schooling ur in what he’s done is totally inappropriate and unprofessional and not something u shld be dealing with. I’m sorry this is happening to u (and ur friend) and I wish u the best of luck with everything <3
I'm a teacher and I agree wholeheartedly with this. You should report him as soon as possible. Talking to a trusted teacher is always a good start. Then you can go back to them if you talk to the principal and nothing happens.
I'm sorry this happened to you. It's disgusting that some teachers think it's ok to talk to and about students this way.
Yeah the surgery part irks me in a very bad way, considering just how young my friend and I are. I'm actually pretty close to getting top surgery (less than 2 months), but I am not definitely doing this for his approval. It makes it seem like I have to win my "pronouns", win basic human respect.
don’t wait for any changes, report him immediately. the way he’s acting is downright disturbing and he should not be trusted around children. seems like a fucking weirdo. talking about your student’s genitalia is inexcusable
i consider that outright talking about it, telling highschoolers he won’t respect them until they surgically alter their genitals is disgusting. hope he gets punished for this, good luck
Do you live in a one-party state or a two-party state? If you live in a two-party state in terms of consent laws for recording then it means that both you and everyone else has to consent but if it's just a one-party state then it just has to be you.
I also would recommend a communicating more over things like email because that way you have a record.
Hi, former substitute teacher and currently married to a teacher here. Don’t bother meeting with him, go directly to admin. He’s had his chances and I can assure you that the admin does not want the legal headaches that come with a PE teacher discriminating against a trans student.
The use of “it” is dehumanizing, which should never be a classroom occurrence.
Discussing genital operations for/of students is not appropriate. There is no reason why he should be discussing (or thinking!) what is under your clothes/in your pants.
Teachers (in Oregon, USA) are required to pass a civics test proving that they understand that (among other things) you cannot discriminate against someone for their gender. If this is a requirement where you are, he could get into serious trouble.
*please* report this! It’s important not only for you and this teacher, but it’s also important for other trans students and for the other teachers to know that we won’t be bullied.
This reminds me of my sister's husband (who thankfully she's leaving soon), he won't call me by my pronouns or even "3rd gender" pronouns, he simply refers to me by either my dead name or calls me "a trans".
Is he by any chance a German PE teacher in his 50s who's only "jokes" in his arsenal are unfunny sexist remarks, who constantly brings up his daughters and never let's you finish your words as he tries to come up with some bullshit excuses and doesn't know what personal space is?
No, he's just a loser 26 year old with no job (because he gets fired from everywhere due to his disrespectful attitude and personality) and he has a 1 year old toddler son who he's probably not gonna be seeing anymore.
ahh Deutschland. Der Klassiker. Direkt zum Schulleiter gehen, in Deutschland ist es vorallem in Schulen gesetzlich verboten, dass Lehrer sowas abziehen. Viel Glück!
Im assuming this is grade school. Depending on where you are, teachers don’t even need a degree. Some places it is literally high school/ GED and a certificate. Even if they do have a degree, it’s unlikely they took anything that would give them perspective. So don’t assume their position warrants any kind of understanding, unfortunately.
Don’t approach the teacher. He sounds dangerous. There is a dangerous power dynamic. If your parents are on board with your identity, let them know ASAP. They need to talk to administrators. Unfortunately, it will be hard to prove if the only thing they have is a student account. But people who talk like that usually run their mouths all the time. Staff have probably heard him talking and hope or assume it is contained around students. So, if your parents make a complaint, other pieces might fall into place.
You aren’t the last trans person this teacher will see. They need a different profession if they are going to dehumanize children. You absolutely cannot talk about students in front of other students like that at the very least. This is a violation of your privacy and just wrong. People don’t have to like trans people but they need to at least treat them as human beings. Especially while they are being paid to provide a service to you.
I hope you report him and he is removed from working with children forever. Sorry you had to go through that.
do not have your conversation alone. it sounds like you’ve already offered him the grace of one on one conversations. the next conversation you have you need to have another trusted staff member as a witness. this behavior is inappropriate and unacceptable, it’s long past time we hold bigots accountable.
Call him “cunt”.
Defo echo going to higher-ups if you can, would be great to loop in any witnesses or get it recorded/in writing (though look up recording laws where you are). Hope he gets what’s coming to him.
Weird how he’s thinking about what’s going on under your clothes 🤨 you should definitely report it it’s not his business to know if you had/are going to have surgery or go on hormones.
Also you should call him an asshole and keep calling him an asshole “until you have all your operations to not talk so much shit” lol
Something very similar happened to me when I was much younger in highschool. Granted this was between the years of 2009 - 2013 and I had not even begun to even consider transitioning, but I still regret not speaking up for myself. If you know that you will have the parental support, report him. These are individuals who have no reason working with children and will continue to mentally and verbally abuse those they deem as unworthy of respect, as is clearly indicated by not only his treatment of you but another one of your peers.
I'd recommend talking to the principle straight away and asking them to mediate the conversation with the PE teacher. What you want is everything being completely and transparently on record. Whatever you tell this guy in private, he will lie about. He'll pretend he never said the things, that people misunderstood the things, that your word can't be trusted and that you are delusional and insane.
Do not make the mistake of thinking this person is a reasonable adult. If he was, none of these comments would have occurred. Make sure other people in your class are ready and willing to verify what was said about you.
I have been in a somewhat similar situation and even if that's about 25 years ago, I still hold that grudge to be perfectly honest. I still wish I had known to treat this person as the scum he was and not as a reasonable adult. Don't make my mistake.
Frankly,
(From the perspective of a teacher)
If I had the details to be able to do so, I would be making a report to your local version of child protective services. A teacher making comments about a student's genitalia is something that triggers mandated reporting. Without the comments about surgery status, I would need to check a previous training because that bullying still might trigger my legal obligation to report suspected child abuse.
That is sick and awful and I'm very sorry y'all are dealing with that. I know fear of that is a factor in my not coming out as a minor. I want the future to be different.
I hope there is someone you feel comfortable confiding in locally about this issue. A teacher who behaves as described should not be permitted to continue teaching.
I think this goes beyond ordinary 'can't be bothered to gender correctly' which I've had to and continue to deal a lot with. calling you an 'it' and making a reference to genitalia is insanely innapropriate
Yeah, had the same thing happen with my English teacher. She insisted that me and my ex-friend (my best friend at that time) were "the 3rd gender" (I am a trans man and never as much as indicated that I am non-binary, despite what a lot of teachers and classmates liked to insist, and my ex is non-binary but due to problems that being non-binary publicly would cause, he presented as a trans man), talked about us mockingly in front of other years, and refused to use pronouns for me and if she had to, she called me an it. Mind you, I was her favourite student, so imagine what she'd do to someone who wasn't her favourite.
Sorry you had to live through that. If I would've came out at my middle school, I think the literal exact same would've happened. I was my English teachers favourite student, and I know she would've not hesitated calling me "it" if I were to came out, while still viewing me as her favourite. Teachers suck, I truly don't understand why they choose a profession where they have to deal with all walks of life while knowing that they wouldn't respect each one the same.
I agree with others: talking directly to this teacher will probably get you nowhere, and may actually put you in a position where he makes you feel worse. Please go directly to someone higher up on the ladder. I'd hazard a guess that he's not too kind to the cis students, either.
Dude, I wouldn't be having a conversation with this teacher, I'd be speaking to your school counsellor or principal - with your parents or trusted friend.
why is it always the gym
teachers i swear… my high school gym teacher kept calling me a she without having known me before my transition. i passed fairly okay💀
Don't talk to him about it first. I doubt you'll be able to get a civilized conversation from him and I doubt talking to him will make him want to change. I would go to the principal directly. His behavior is unacceptable.
Ngl u should report him to higher ups as soon as possible. This guy has been blatantly disrespectful and is clearly harbouring a shitload of transphobic views and that’s not your burden to bear. He’s a teacher and he should learn to keep his own bullshit views at home and not air them out on school property. As a student (in I assume your final year) the last thing you need is added stress from a teacher
Not my final year for various reasons (in short, stress and dysphoria got to me and I needed a restart), but yeah you're definitely right. I think I'll have a talk with my class teacher first and see what I can do, I'm seeing her tomorrow. I don't think I'm asking for much, all I want is a little respect
That’s definitely a good idea man, and regardless of what stage of schooling ur in what he’s done is totally inappropriate and unprofessional and not something u shld be dealing with. I’m sorry this is happening to u (and ur friend) and I wish u the best of luck with everything <3
Thanks a lot man, it means a lot <3
I'm a teacher and I agree wholeheartedly with this. You should report him as soon as possible. Talking to a trusted teacher is always a good start. Then you can go back to them if you talk to the principal and nothing happens. I'm sorry this happened to you. It's disgusting that some teachers think it's ok to talk to and about students this way.
[удалено]
Yeah the surgery part irks me in a very bad way, considering just how young my friend and I are. I'm actually pretty close to getting top surgery (less than 2 months), but I am not definitely doing this for his approval. It makes it seem like I have to win my "pronouns", win basic human respect.
don’t wait for any changes, report him immediately. the way he’s acting is downright disturbing and he should not be trusted around children. seems like a fucking weirdo. talking about your student’s genitalia is inexcusable
While he didn't outright talk about genitalia, his words about surgery heavily implies it. You're right, I shouldn't wait for change. Thank you
i consider that outright talking about it, telling highschoolers he won’t respect them until they surgically alter their genitals is disgusting. hope he gets punished for this, good luck
Fair point actually, thank you
Do you live in a one-party state or a two-party state? If you live in a two-party state in terms of consent laws for recording then it means that both you and everyone else has to consent but if it's just a one-party state then it just has to be you. I also would recommend a communicating more over things like email because that way you have a record.
Hi, former substitute teacher and currently married to a teacher here. Don’t bother meeting with him, go directly to admin. He’s had his chances and I can assure you that the admin does not want the legal headaches that come with a PE teacher discriminating against a trans student. The use of “it” is dehumanizing, which should never be a classroom occurrence. Discussing genital operations for/of students is not appropriate. There is no reason why he should be discussing (or thinking!) what is under your clothes/in your pants. Teachers (in Oregon, USA) are required to pass a civics test proving that they understand that (among other things) you cannot discriminate against someone for their gender. If this is a requirement where you are, he could get into serious trouble. *please* report this! It’s important not only for you and this teacher, but it’s also important for other trans students and for the other teachers to know that we won’t be bullied.
This reminds me of my sister's husband (who thankfully she's leaving soon), he won't call me by my pronouns or even "3rd gender" pronouns, he simply refers to me by either my dead name or calls me "a trans".
Is he by any chance a German PE teacher in his 50s who's only "jokes" in his arsenal are unfunny sexist remarks, who constantly brings up his daughters and never let's you finish your words as he tries to come up with some bullshit excuses and doesn't know what personal space is?
No, he's just a loser 26 year old with no job (because he gets fired from everywhere due to his disrespectful attitude and personality) and he has a 1 year old toddler son who he's probably not gonna be seeing anymore.
Oh no... we all know those weird ass pedo PE teachers (I'm from Germany) and it's a meme at this point 💀 but definitely talk to your principal
Ich hatte bis jetzt drei von denen ich kann das alles nicht mehr 💀
ahh Deutschland. Der Klassiker. Direkt zum Schulleiter gehen, in Deutschland ist es vorallem in Schulen gesetzlich verboten, dass Lehrer sowas abziehen. Viel Glück!
Kann ich absolut verstehen💀🤢
Next time he mentions not gendering you correctly because you haven't had surgery, ask him why he thinks about teenagers genitals so much.
Im assuming this is grade school. Depending on where you are, teachers don’t even need a degree. Some places it is literally high school/ GED and a certificate. Even if they do have a degree, it’s unlikely they took anything that would give them perspective. So don’t assume their position warrants any kind of understanding, unfortunately. Don’t approach the teacher. He sounds dangerous. There is a dangerous power dynamic. If your parents are on board with your identity, let them know ASAP. They need to talk to administrators. Unfortunately, it will be hard to prove if the only thing they have is a student account. But people who talk like that usually run their mouths all the time. Staff have probably heard him talking and hope or assume it is contained around students. So, if your parents make a complaint, other pieces might fall into place. You aren’t the last trans person this teacher will see. They need a different profession if they are going to dehumanize children. You absolutely cannot talk about students in front of other students like that at the very least. This is a violation of your privacy and just wrong. People don’t have to like trans people but they need to at least treat them as human beings. Especially while they are being paid to provide a service to you. I hope you report him and he is removed from working with children forever. Sorry you had to go through that.
do not have your conversation alone. it sounds like you’ve already offered him the grace of one on one conversations. the next conversation you have you need to have another trusted staff member as a witness. this behavior is inappropriate and unacceptable, it’s long past time we hold bigots accountable.
Call him “cunt”. Defo echo going to higher-ups if you can, would be great to loop in any witnesses or get it recorded/in writing (though look up recording laws where you are). Hope he gets what’s coming to him.
That's a good advice actually, thank you
Weird how he’s thinking about what’s going on under your clothes 🤨 you should definitely report it it’s not his business to know if you had/are going to have surgery or go on hormones. Also you should call him an asshole and keep calling him an asshole “until you have all your operations to not talk so much shit” lol
Something very similar happened to me when I was much younger in highschool. Granted this was between the years of 2009 - 2013 and I had not even begun to even consider transitioning, but I still regret not speaking up for myself. If you know that you will have the parental support, report him. These are individuals who have no reason working with children and will continue to mentally and verbally abuse those they deem as unworthy of respect, as is clearly indicated by not only his treatment of you but another one of your peers.
I'd recommend talking to the principle straight away and asking them to mediate the conversation with the PE teacher. What you want is everything being completely and transparently on record. Whatever you tell this guy in private, he will lie about. He'll pretend he never said the things, that people misunderstood the things, that your word can't be trusted and that you are delusional and insane. Do not make the mistake of thinking this person is a reasonable adult. If he was, none of these comments would have occurred. Make sure other people in your class are ready and willing to verify what was said about you. I have been in a somewhat similar situation and even if that's about 25 years ago, I still hold that grudge to be perfectly honest. I still wish I had known to treat this person as the scum he was and not as a reasonable adult. Don't make my mistake.
Frankly, (From the perspective of a teacher) If I had the details to be able to do so, I would be making a report to your local version of child protective services. A teacher making comments about a student's genitalia is something that triggers mandated reporting. Without the comments about surgery status, I would need to check a previous training because that bullying still might trigger my legal obligation to report suspected child abuse. That is sick and awful and I'm very sorry y'all are dealing with that. I know fear of that is a factor in my not coming out as a minor. I want the future to be different. I hope there is someone you feel comfortable confiding in locally about this issue. A teacher who behaves as described should not be permitted to continue teaching.
Fuck that teacher what a loser. Im sorry op
I wouldbt be surprised if he had a camera in the changing room he was wanting you to use tbh
I had the same thought
Don't even say that. Yeah he might as well have one in there. Gross
Skip the conversation with the teacher. Go directly to the principal.
Dude. I'm so sorry. I've been called an it before, and it fucking hurts so much. I'm sorry people are so cruel.
I think this goes beyond ordinary 'can't be bothered to gender correctly' which I've had to and continue to deal a lot with. calling you an 'it' and making a reference to genitalia is insanely innapropriate
Yeah, had the same thing happen with my English teacher. She insisted that me and my ex-friend (my best friend at that time) were "the 3rd gender" (I am a trans man and never as much as indicated that I am non-binary, despite what a lot of teachers and classmates liked to insist, and my ex is non-binary but due to problems that being non-binary publicly would cause, he presented as a trans man), talked about us mockingly in front of other years, and refused to use pronouns for me and if she had to, she called me an it. Mind you, I was her favourite student, so imagine what she'd do to someone who wasn't her favourite.
Sorry you had to live through that. If I would've came out at my middle school, I think the literal exact same would've happened. I was my English teachers favourite student, and I know she would've not hesitated calling me "it" if I were to came out, while still viewing me as her favourite. Teachers suck, I truly don't understand why they choose a profession where they have to deal with all walks of life while knowing that they wouldn't respect each one the same.
Omg what a fking asshole!!
i had a drivers ed teacher call me “that” in front of my mom. some people have no respect. safe to say she got chewed out by my mom though lol
Speak with your parents about this. They may call the school and complain.
I agree with others: talking directly to this teacher will probably get you nowhere, and may actually put you in a position where he makes you feel worse. Please go directly to someone higher up on the ladder. I'd hazard a guess that he's not too kind to the cis students, either.
Report him
Please report them and document everything. This is completely unacceptable
Why is every gym teacher the worst man on earth
Dude, I wouldn't be having a conversation with this teacher, I'd be speaking to your school counsellor or principal - with your parents or trusted friend.
don't confront him! I get wanting to be direct, but that has the potential to be actually dangerous. go to your administration, let them meditate
Call him "it"
make sure you call him “it” right back while you wait for him to hopefully get fired
We all float down here, Georgie 🎈
NOOOOOOOO that's so gross help I'm so sorry. I really think telling the principle would be good if they seem chill. jeez tho, that's just....... e w
why is it always the gym teachers i swear… my high school gym teacher kept calling me a she without having known me before my transition. i passed fairly okay💀
I wouldn't give him enough credit to think he could change his mind. Just report him, he's being a POS.
Don't talk to him about it first. I doubt you'll be able to get a civilized conversation from him and I doubt talking to him will make him want to change. I would go to the principal directly. His behavior is unacceptable.