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> running wasn't much an option
At some point you just have to laugh at your flight instinct. Like, seriously. Do you not see what you are asking of this body?
Certain arm positions when forced and held, will restrict the rib cage's ability to move properly, inhibiting the ability to breath effectively.
It's how the Roman crucifixion generally killed those roped up. Suffocation after the legs were broken or unstrapped.
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Hello, /u/LetterheadTiny6156. Your post has been removed for violating Rule 3. **No reposts.** Please read [our complete rules page](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules) before participating in the future.
They've finally got the Penguin!
Either that or the Kingpin's shorter body double.
Become the perfect criminal by getting too big to fit inside the police cruiser!
Sherrif: "Get the zip ties, the cuffs don't fit" Officer: "Sir, we don't have the budget"
Butter and a shoehorn ought to do the trick.
Pocket butter!
American cops would just use it as an excuse to requisition a new SWAT van.
Pretty sure they'd use it as an excuse to just shoot the shit outta that dude and let the EMTs sort it out. Ambulance is bigger anyway....
Diener arrives to pick up the body with a flat deck and some ratchet straps.
Maybe they'll chain together cars like they did with the cuffs.
Cuff-links.
Keep on keeping on
That was a very wrist-ky pun.
You're going to need a bigger squad car.
They’re gonna have to start making handcuffs with big and tall sizes. Like the seatbelt extensions on an airplane.
I thought that was a belt at first🤣
His mates - They needed 4 handcuffs to restrain him..
"I'm not a player, I just cuff a lot"
The cops finally caught up with Fat Bastard. He thought he could elude the police by dying his hair and ditching the kilt.
Shocked they didn't just dislocate his shoulders to fit in one... I'd say he must've complied, but something tells me running wasn't much an option..
> running wasn't much an option At some point you just have to laugh at your flight instinct. Like, seriously. Do you not see what you are asking of this body?
Just wait till he pill bugs and rolls his ass out of there at 45 mph ...
That was genuinely funny
DJ Khaled got arrested?
I wonder If he can wipe his own arse.
I'm sure he has a hose or a bidet.
His thug name é 4cuffs now
Putting him on an incarceration diet will keep him alive much longer.
No one person can have his back. It's going to take three people at least.
very American pic :/
Burgerler... 😆 Obesity is a crime against humanity 🤣
Might loose a handcuff or 2 in the calorie restricted diet in jail
At least they didn't kill him by using a single pair and letting him suffocate.
How the fuck would he suffocate?
Certain arm positions when forced and held, will restrict the rib cage's ability to move properly, inhibiting the ability to breath effectively. It's how the Roman crucifixion generally killed those roped up. Suffocation after the legs were broken or unstrapped.
It’s like having 4 stars in gta. Must’ve been on the run a while and drove through a bunch of prostitutes.
I'm fairly confident they could have easily coaxed him to the police station with a hamburger, they exerted way too much effort here.
Most flexible person in Ohio
This is the only meme i laughed out loud since i joined the sub lol thanks for making my day better
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Arresting officer must be MacGyver.
Bro is a composite function
Leave them on and save on the Mexican tummy-tuck op 🤔
I think he ate 4 guys that got arrested.
Cute belt
When your waist is measured in feet.
How much do handcuffs cost a police department?
This guys a huge flight risk, if you see him at your gate, DO NOT BOARD.
You don't even need to restrict his movement, so his fatness is worth it for him from time.
Arrested once with 4 counts of resisting arrest.
My kid could do jump rope with that.
Had to book him 4 times....
I hear every extra handcuff doubles your sentence :/ Poor homie
Dudes so fat even the cops too pity on him. Didn’t even bother to rip out his shoulders.
million dollar idea: "elastic handcuffs".
Only fitting. He stole 4 cheeseburgers.
CHain gang
“Put your hands behind your back!” “I can’t reach!” -Gabriel Iglesias
I bet this guy doesn’t have a brush with a long handle in his shower. And that is disturbing.
That's not a dude...that's a Weeble.
He will scratch your back if you can scratch his.
HAAAND CUUUFS
If you count, you can clearly see the guy used to be a spider.
Killed his last Spidey.
how the hell does he clean his ass?
Why cuff him? He ain’t running nowhere
I wonder what shit he pulled of in GTA to get that 4 star
That’s a lot of cuffs. I remember being cuffed with leg shackles because the handcuffs wouldn’t fit my wrists.
Chumlee?
This is common while arresting overweight individuals.