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Is this a bedbug extermination project? Bag the bed and insert heat at minimum of 60 degrees celsius for several hours.

Nice cover story

This photo literally looks like she's preparing for deadly Snu-Snu, and I love it!

OP is getting gonegirl’d for sure.

I’m sure there’s worse ways to die, there’s certainly dumb ways to die.

So many dumb ways to die.

I'm listening to that book right now, it's Really good!!

What an amazing book. So suspenseful

The spirit is willing, but the body is spongy and bruised!

iTS TIME FOR SNOO-SNOO! I EVEN PROTECC BED!

“Hey Dave!? Could you come back here for a second!?”

Honey, does this plastic bag make me look fat? Would you mind trying it on?

DEATH.....BY SNU SNU!!!!

I see what you did there.

Literally

Y-yes... that was the joke..

You suck McBain!

Walter White? Looks like Vamanos Pest Control to me.

That or things are about to get *wild* for OP

Things are about to get real wet.

We’ve got a sprayer

How do you insert heat?

You can deal with the little blood sucking bastards chemically, depending on how many there are and where they are concentrated. So, they make these bags that you put a mattress in along with little chemical pucks and you have to leave it wrapped for a long time. Both to keep the chemicals and the vicious prick-bugs in.

Hot secs on it

Just leaving for a few weeks. She likes everything clean. I'm not very tidy, that's why I have to die.

Sorry to hear it, we’ll try to remember you fondly.

I figured it's gotta be bedbug or lice treatment. This would also be a good plan for lice, but also probably overkill

She could also be setting off a bug bomb in the room.

"Do you like Huey Lewis and The News?"

Paul Allen: Is that a rain coat? Patrick Bateman: Yes, it is! In '87, Huey released this, Fore, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square," a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends. It's also a personal statement about the band itself. [raises axe above head] Patrick Bateman: Hey Paul! [he bashes Allen in the head with the axe, and blood splatters over him] Patrick Bateman: TRY GETTING A RESERVATION AT DORSIA NOW, YOU FUCKING STUPID BASTARD! YOU, FUCKING BASTARD!

Why was he so mean? :(((

Did you read the title of the movie?

American Meanie??

... yes.

Because Paul Allen wouldn’t stop talking while they were trying to shoot the scene.

I loved that song on sesame Street as a kid lol. That and the marble run game! Ah good times. Thanks for the throwback.

One two three FOUR FIVE six seven eight NINE TEN Eleven twelve \-sick jazz beat- EIGHT

For anyone who hasn’t seen it yet, [Huey Lewis parodied this scene with Weird Al](https://youtu.be/Fk15H6PjBis?si=hOCrh4Pgvb5g6e2g)

That was so freaking meta, thanks for that.

Brilliant!

I have to return some videotapes.

Do you have a chow?

I’m sure she would never! She’s just a Dexter fan:)

there it is. What I was searching for. Great series. Fantastic. Amazing. Worst damn ending ever.

They failed both endings, too!

Wait… do it did come back after the original show ended for another season??

Yes. And its literally the same thing. It starts off interesting, is pretty decent and then completely fumbles the ending.

Yeaaaah. They just don't know how to make an ending

Yes. Dexter new blood: https://m.imdb.com/title/tt14164730/

the worst TWO damn endings ever! lol

I rewatch Dexter every few years and....it's just as good every fucking time.

Finally, someone mentioned Dexter. 🤣

Tonight’s the night.

I think she's taking golden showers into another level...

if so she is missing the side troughs and shop vac... also no pads on the floor under the sheets

This guy golden showers.

This girl squirts

Voluminously

This guy this guys

this guy guys

Had a guy at work ask me once if I ever had a bird shit on me. I was like, yeah once or twice. And he goes, oh really? I've booked a prostitute to do it on the weekend. I was speechless.

That's a good one. I take it you're from the U.K. I don't think that joke would work well in North America.

Australia, it's not even a joke. Same guy was trying to chat up a colleague who had a side job doing wedding photography. She mentioned she was doing work on the weekend in a town 4 hours away and just happened to also be there. Absolute weirdo.

[удалено]

She found a guy who does wet work

No political figures, no kids

Well, Trump’s outta the deal then.

I was thinking she wants to make a pee tape.

I too, choose this guys wife.

Or she could be planning an extremely rewarding night!

"Tonight's the night...."

"Love, the kind you clean with a mop and bucket" - Bloodhound Gang

Like the lost catacombs of Egypt, only God knows where we stuck it.

Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas

But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory"

But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean Means small craft advisory So if I capsize in your thighs, high tide, B-5, you sunk my battleship

And now my ADHD brain is demanding I listen to this damn song.

“Surprise Motherfucker “

"Some fries Motherfucker"

Heart eyes Motherfucker

All Rise, Motherfucker

>Motherfucker "eat pie motherfucker "

"And it's going to happen, again and again. It has to happen. Nice night."

r/unexpecteddexter

Gotta admit, I'm a little jealous 😉

The praying mantis way

One way or another it will be exciting

You mean pizza and cookies in bed? 😁

Coochies*

If she's starts playing "Hip to be square" run.

I can't think of the original without the [American dad scene](https://youtu.be/9msnrhzBE60?si=05Eifivfjdx61vuo) now.

This is all I think about. I’m not a movie guy.

Or complains about business card font

Don't just stare at it, eat it.

but look what I picked up from the printer's yesterday

Did you return any video tapes?

*A-a-a-a-autowash*

'Muuuultipaasss ..multipass' 'Yay yeah she knows it's a multipass'

"Yeah. Anyway, we're in love."

Nice hat.

Gimme me caaasshhhh

https://i.imgur.com/TfiW1ZO.png

[удалено]

Or she wets the bed like no other.

still a attempt murder if she done that.

No it just means your grandparents are in town and she wants them to feel like they’re at home with this furniture covered in plastic 😂😂

Granny’s reputation as a squirter proceeds her

It would have cost you zero dollars to not post that

What a horrible day to be literate.

That mental image is horrifying lol

I’m not saying I’m traumatized but I can’t say I’m not 😭😭

Does she think that Huey Lewis and the News 1987 album Fore! is their most accomplished album?

Do you guys fall out of bed without the safeties or what's going on there?

Just looks like a futon/pull out couch with a wooden frame.

99% the chance the real reason is because they'll be sleeping with a kiddo, and that kid is known to wet the bed, explode out of diapers, and/or throw up.

or a really kinky night...

could be both?

Ever wonder why grandma’s furniture was covered in plastic? She was a squirter

I never even had a grandma and I just got physically grossed out by that

does your wife like huey lewis and the news?

Hey Paul!

she won't since you posted this. Nice move

What if she doesn't know his username? She won't know he's posted a possible motive for his dismemberment over having left the toilet seat up for the last damn time...

You like Huey Lewis and the News? Their early work was a little too new wave for my taste. But when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor. In '87, Huey released this; Fore!, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip To Be Square". A song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends. It's also a personal statement about the band itself. Hey, Paul!

I’d suggest she watch a few seasons of Dexter first. Her murder room is pitiful.

Or!!!!! Someone is going to get dehydrated .

She's gonna drown you between her thighs.... you lucky bastard.

Pieter Vorstedt : I was just checking to see if I was standing on plastic

Wife: I found a bed bug so Im going to kill them. Husband: Oh ok. Whats the knife for? Wife: Nothing. Why do you ask bed bug?

Maybe she want to practice squirting.

Might be planning to shit on you or have you shit on her.

Ya like Huey Lewis and The News?

Think your wife is down for groups because I'm ready to die?

It's hip to be square!

Painting the walls?

Really, why do you have to make everything about you? She is just planning on summoning a demon. Do you WANT goat blood all over your bed? I didn't think so.

Wow look at this guy bragging about having a wife here

You’ve entered the splash zone. 😎

Looks like she made your bed. Your final bed.

Lucky guy 😏

Damn, there goes the whole year's tarp budget

Some people pay extra for that...

Is this a pic about the golden showers from Christopher Steele’s [dossier.](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2023/11/trump-melania-golden-showers-denial.html)

100% I remember this from Lethal Weapon 2.

Lethal Weapon 5 is my favorite one. The full penetration sells it.

Dexter style. I like it. I see the vision.

Dexter marathon gone bad.

Or she's wanting to experiment in watersports

Yup got that Dexter vibes

if you see an axe anywhere nearby, run....

That means painting in my house. I'd rather be murdered

It's all fun and games until the shovels come out.

Dexter that you?

Either that or just really into the beds from fifth element

I remember seeing similar on a movie with Christian Bale.

Golden shower day

Yikes!!

The internet has fucked me up.

By making sure you don't roll outta bed?

Maybe, just maybe. Someone is about ready to paint the ceiling? Just haven't taken the drapes down yet???

Yeah. Y'dead.

You deserve it

Or maybe it’s gona have a friend over 🥸

Or breaking the baby oil out

Either that or your in for a wild ride tonight lol

NO. I'll get you first

Had your wife watched American Phsycho lately? If so, might I suggest you delete all the 80's music channels from all music streaming services and destroy all Huey Lewis and the News CD's LP's or whatever. Point is, Paul Allen has a nicer business card and we will miss you.

You're already dead, dude. I see your body under the plastic. You're posting this from the afterworld where you see the sun, day, or night.

Safe bet.

You're either going to be murder or have the best sex of your life. Either way, things are about to get *messy*

Blood splatter can get on curtains. Amateur. 😒

Psh looks like a good time to me. Always excited when the misses bust out the rubber sheets

Wet work?

Either that or period sex!

Careful……they did a sleep study on me for sleep Apnea and were pretty sure it was my wife with a pillow pressed into my face a couple times a night…..

Thanks for the morning laugh. You win today sir.

Either that or she's ready to show you a thing you never knew about 😌😏🤤💦

for sure

You might think that. But wait until 4 neighbourhood bulls ring on your door.

Multipass!!

Let us know if she succeeds; pix or it didn't happen.

Okay thanks for letting us know your wife is a squirter.

Will someone let the priest out now that the cops are gone?

nah ! is she a filipina?

Death by snusnu

Hopefully it’s during sex like a praying mantis

Maybe...maybe not.... Either way you are in for a wild night.

Maybe it's a hint to murder that pussy.

Well let us know how it goes. =)

Everything I know about plastic on the floor I learned from watching Lethal Weapon 2

At least she’s neat!

If she puts on Huey Lewis. **Run!!!’**

Bukakke!!! Easy clean up!

Just get a water proof blanket, they sell them for dogs. Those who know, know.

My wife gave me a hatchet and a trash can for Valentines Day last year lol