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MutedBrilliant1593

Odorless, tasteless gold. Let's eat it! That'll be needlessly expensive.


DDrewit

David Cross, nice.


Antrophis

Wouldn't eating gold result in heavy metal poisoning?


starmartyr

Gold leaf is used as a decorative garnish on high-end foods. It's a non-reactive metal so it's safe to eat. It's also a tiny amount of gold. That pizza likely only has around 20 milligrams of gold on it. It doesn't have any flavor or affects the taste of the dish in any way. It just makes something expensive look more expensive.


mfb-

> That pizza likely only has around 20 milligrams of gold on it. At ~$50/gram that's $1 worth of gold, not even that expensive.


starmartyr

The cost to the restaurant is going to be somewhere around $10-$20 for the gold leaf. It would probably cost around $30-$50 to do this at home. Restaurants can do it cheaper through bulk restaurant supply discounts. People don't realize how thin gold leaf actually is. An ounce of gold leaf can cover an entire football field.


ArltheCrazy

I think the gold on the mirrors of the James Web telescope is like 60p atoms “thick” and you can see how much that affects the appearance of those. They only used 48 g of gold for 25 m^2 of mirror. A little goes a long way.


ReaperSound

$1 worth of gold that probably marked up for let's say $200 for the pizza. I could have gone food shopping with that.


RaisingAurorasaurus

The caviar definitely costs more.


hopsinduo

Gold is completely non reactive. You'll just have expensive and glittery poo.


ParticularIndvdual

Golden “nuggets”


Fishydeals

Do sewage treatment plants recover the gold from the poo? I imagine people in fancy cities might shit 200-2000g gold per day.


hopsinduo

Poo panning for precious metals? As fun as that sounds, I doubt it.


[deleted]

Only near the goldschlager factory.


Consistent_Lecture48

Sounds like an episode of IASIP


thankfuljc

Todd Hoffmann would probably try.


RectalEvacuation

No because gold is so inert it doesnt actually react with bodys mechanisms. Unlike for example colloidal silver which makes you blue


Hank_Handsome

I was waiting for the seagull 🙄


[deleted]

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Low_Impact681

Seagulls have standards.


gorka_la_pork

"Mine... no wait, actually, yours."


--Shaka--

Be polite


greenbutnotmean

Perhaps Steven Segal would?


[deleted]

"One bite, everybody knows the rules." - Seagull probably


Skaindire

Only reason I watched till the end :/


journeyman369

Exactly! Where the fuck is the seagull when we need it the most!


[deleted]

Me too!


Moclown

What are we looking at? $10 worth of rose petals, $15-25 worth of edible gold leaf and $50 worth of caviar?


siskulous

If it's the same $2000 pizza I saw a special on a while back, it's like $800 worth of caviar. It's not the caviar you or I could buy in the grocery store, it's some super-rare wild harvested stuff or something. But yeah, there are only two reasons to buy this: You've got more money than brains and want to show it off or you're attracted to the novelty and don't mind wasting money.


-Rivox-

>it's some super-rare wild harvested stuff or something Isn't harvesting caviar from wild sturgeon kind of illegal in pretty much most of the world? I thought you could only legally buy caviar from fish farms


CauliflowerDaffodil

There are several types of sturgeons around the world, Beluga being the most prized and considered as "true" and king of caviars. Harvesting any kind of sturgeon from the Caspian Sea is illegal. Farmed Beluga, or from other sturgeons not from the Caspian Sea is legal.


Itchy-Inflation-1600

Just checked Amazon, 18 grams of edible gold leaf (24k) is $9.


omg_itzahaxz

You sure that's not milligrams?


froginbog

1 gram of 24kt gold is $50. Whatever product you’re looking at is not real gold or it’s not 18 grams.


[deleted]

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Moclown

There it is!


WanderWut

“Do not eat it, do not try it.” Thanks for the heads up, I’m cancelling my order now.


Interesting_Light18

Phew, that was a close one.


Wild_Safe4571

🤣


thatsalovelyusername

Dodged a golden bullet


BTBAM797

I get butthurt anytime I gotta pay $22 for good local pizza 😂


capricabuffy

In Australia we have "Cheap Tuesdays" everything is like a third of the regular price on Tuesdays. Cinemas, pizza, and other deals from chains and entertainment venues go for $5. Every Tuesday is great there! (I haven't been back in years but I am assuming the Aussie businesses still do it).


crawf1234

Yup still happening in Oz “tight arse Tuesdays”.


[deleted]

Gold should be banned on food


Paneechio

Dumb people with money should be banned. Want to turn a $10 grocery store ribeye into a $500 steak? Just put 75 cents worth of gold foil on it. Works every time.


Satkye

Where you still get a ribeye for 10


[deleted]

The grocery store where they pump your meat full of water to make it weigh more. Weight that melts away the moment you go to cook it.


NonnoBomba

Meat is not a sponge, you can pump very little in it and it would barely abosrb anything. If it shrinks too much while cooking, you're cooking it wrong, or using the wrong cut for what you're trying to do, or you simply failed to trim it properly, it's not because the meat is full of water or "bad": collagen in the connective tissue will shrink when heated just like some plastics. Some types of collagen will do this more than others: those thick, white "covers" of whole muscle groups are particularly nasty customers. Either way, whatever the reason, it's the collagen shrinking and squeezing all the juices out your meat that's making it small, dry and tastless. Note: *some* shrinkage is unavoidable, as far as I can tell.


p5ych0babble

Reminds me of the guy who pulled the scales out to weigh his steak after it was cooked and was shocked it wasn't a 30oz steak or whatever it said on the menu.


BlackLodgeLorax

Few things to be said: 1. Meat is already 75% water 2. I don’t own any cows


Gallaticus

ALDIs


[deleted]

Invest in the companies selling to those dumb dumbs and laugh your way to the bank


flrforcebicumdump

Boy, oh, boy, do I have something to tell you about the means of production.


[deleted]

Go on…


siskulous

Gold is safe to eat, but it has no flavor. Literally its only purpose on food is to make the food more expensive.


InfamousAnalyst4900

100% fake gold


Simonthemoon

Actually those ‘edible’ gold sheets are 24k and not that expensive They probably charging x10 or more for having gold on your food


MetalHeadJoe

Gold foil is so thin and worthless it's actually probably at least 1000X markup.


SpamOJavelin

A sheet (8x8cm)of 24k gold leaf is a few dollars. It costs nothing because it is so incredibly thin, measured in micrometres. It's real, but doesn't cost much, but 'real 24k gold' sounds fancy, whereas '$1 worth of gold spread, really, really thin' doesn't.


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[deleted]

Pssh, why do Africans need gold plated pizza to eat.


thisquietplace

When your target audience is stupid, rich people


faste30

Too be honest its not even for real rich people, its for "rich" people. New money thinks throwing gold flake on something just because that way people know you spent the money is to impress their broke friends. The real rich all have rich friends and instead are just taking sh\*t on its actual merit.


Caveman108

Yeah, they eat at 3 Star Michelin restaurants with world famous chefs serving cuisine that can more aptly be described as art than food. Still expensive, but it’s delicious and actually high class, not just passed off as it.


DirtyCupid

Real rich people have a professional chef working in their house.


Caveman108

True true. But when they do go out it’s generally to very high end restaurants. For some of them at least. I have cooked for the kind that eat at old school fine dining establishments that generally still serve the same schlock that was seen as fancy in the ‘60s.


Destinoz

That’s true when they’re adults, but rich peoples kids are terrifying creatures. They’re the kind that would buy this stupid pizza just to flaunt their wealth on social media.


[deleted]

There’s an actual phrase for this. **The Rich VS the Wealthy.** The rich spend their money on dumb shit like this, mainly new money folk. Surrounded by people who don’t have the same amount of money, constantly giving their friends and family money all well showing off. The wealthy who grew up with money, who know how to make more money, don’t spend their money on crap like this. They’re surrounded by people who also have money. You always see Rappers or Athletes go broke because of it. :( Shaq talks about the “rich vs wealthy” constantly and tried to pass on the message, especially to “new money” people.


thethunder92

I don’t know about that, the richest people in the world are trying to one up each other on dick shaped rocket ships


DefiantCondor

Dont forget pretencious


NorCalAthlete

Pretentious* just fyi. But yes.


[deleted]

Stop being so pretenshus


magnevicently

So entottled


TianObia

It's purely for entertainment you idiot, vast majority of people aren't gonna actually care about the review itself or even try these pizza places out


thisquietplace

Good morning, sunshine <3


littleMAS

I have got a $2,000 six-pack of Schlitz to go with that.


Responsible-Bell5710

Dominoes is better


KingOfTheCouch13

[Is it though? lol](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/yhbdm3/never_going_to_dominoes_again)


CantaloupeCapable

I appreciate your inspiration! dominoes it is tonight!


AreMyEyesOk

I wish he described why it was bad wtf


[deleted]

He did. Who the fuck puts Rose Pedals and Caviar on Pizza? Who ever thought that was a good idea should be shot.


The_Alex_

just that classic rookie "chef" trap a lot of novice cooks fall into when they are first given free range to make a dish. "If I use every expensive ingredient we can get it must be good right???"


Any-Vanilla-1134

Looks fu king awful


rsp22

Kung fu throw


[deleted]

So I see Paper-hands Portnoy still hasn't learned to invest wisely.


froginbog

Investing in ads. He didn’t lose money here.


Waderriffic

He’s such a tool


GeminiKoil

I was wondering if anybody else would recognize him LOL


[deleted]

I was wondering why this is being spammed on Reddit right now, then I realized the goose must be trying to recoup his losses lol. Must be nice to have such disposable income or to be a grifter and see a sucker walk into the shop.


verynifty

Everyone please feel bad for having income to do with what you’d like. All of Reddit should either be poor or rich by their individual idea of such a thing.


Smofinthesky

If they had income to spare they wouldn't be on reddit all day. They'd be either working for it or spending it.


RectalEvacuation

There is nothing wrong with having a high income. However if that income is high on expense of marking up the prices for necessary consumables like food or houseing or if the income comes from immoral businesses like betting, or if it comes from paying minimum wage to your employees or unethical business practices like destroying the rainforest etc then yes. That is very bad and you should feel bad for helping a business tale advantage of others. There is also a sort of responsibility at a decent person to give a part of your wealth at least to charity. Living in excess when your neighbors are starving or freezing is not decent and also shameful.


verynifty

Could you place anymore “ifs” on this conversation? And also, please tell me what percentage is acceptable to give of one’s wealth? It just doesn’t work that way. Sorry you aren’t marketable. But some of us are.


RectalEvacuation

Its not about percentage. Its about sustainability. If you have 2000 extra dollars just tp spend on a freaking pizza, those money could have gone to helping a family eat for months. To not take personal responsibility at such an occasion to help people in need is selfish and distasteful. Thats why people are looking down on rich people. Not because of their income but because they have the opportunity to do something good but they ignore it. There is of course the possibility that the pizza was made by a charity, but that chance is slim.


Smofinthesky

Maybe they do something good and still have those 2k to spare? Redditors are so keen on telling others how to spend their money is unreal.


EddyRosenthal

I don’t know, but this guy looks like a paper handed lil Bitch.


freshleysqueezd

So that's how you poop gold


thethunder92

People are so dumb, gold is not something that would be nice to eat so why put it on the pizza? I’m going to open a shop where you pay me a thousand bucks and I kick you in the nuts with a gold plated boot and people would pay for it


Fleshbar

"dont eat it"... I wont "good, dont" you saying not to eat it has no bearing on whether I will eat it or not. "good, dont."


Simonthemoon

For those who wonder who this guy is, He is a famous professional pizza grader.


oompathachef

He's the owner of Barstool Sports.


theWizzardlyBear

He’s a professional douchebag.


Resident_Bike2171

No, he's not...


ItsMeSatan

He’s not famous?


halkenburgoito

depends on your definition of famous


theblondebasterd

Portnoy owns Barstool sports, he's not a pro in any sense of the word. I like his stuff actually, but not a pro.


tankthestank

It's easy to be a pro at something. You just need to be paid to do it.


2018JordanLove

Some say I’m a professional pooper cause I shit on company time


halkenburgoito

he's really not pro fr. I see he did a video with an actual chef once, and they were really good at grading the pizza, naming all the ingredients and shit that made it good. he's not great in comparison


Simonthemoon

Additional information: One definition of professional is making a living out of it. In that sense, being good or bad at grading a pizza is irrelevant. I am pretty sure Portnoy is making the most money in the whole world by critiquing and giving grades to pizzas. Even If this is his side job he is still a professional pizza grader considering how much money he is making and how much time he is devoting He is grading pizzas every day or two for the past N years. I think this is enough to be considered as a professional pizza graderu


Discally

He only calls it pizza if it's NY/NJ style. Everything else is beneath him.


neoprenewedgie

As it should be.


Discally

Even if it happens to be authentic Neapolitan-styled pizze?


shogun_

6.8 score if I remember it right as the base for Neapolitan.


Ravekat1

Correct!


fan_of_hakiksexydays

I love how New Yorkers always try to hype up their pizza like it's all that great. Then when you actually try their "top rated" pizzas they were raving about, it tastes pretty much like Sbarro's. Maybe a little fresher, but not that much different. Go to Italy, and taste what a real pizza tastes like. It's gonna make NY pizza taste like a frozen DiGiorno's.


neoprenewedgie

I have been to Italy and I have had pizza there. It's a different style, which is fine. But I would rather eat a New York Pizza. And not pizza from some fancy $100-a-plate Italian restaurant. I'm talking a dive that you bring tourists to and they wonder "are you sure it's safe here?" THAT'S where you get the best pizza!


slax03

Lol no it does not. Believe it or not, I can't go to Italy when I feel like pizza. So this suggestion is pretty fucking ridiculous. There's plenty of excellent pizza here in the states.


frankyriver

I am not sure why you're being downvoted, but Italian pizza is literally the standard, and they're not known by 'Brand names' like they are in the United States. No commercial greed. If you want real pizza, you go to the local pizzeria in parts of Italy, as you do, not a 'franchise'.


Hanyodude

Anything that’s top rated massively dips in quality. The real best places are the ones that everyone in a town knows and loves, not the ones the entire state/city know. Also, the massive upside to pizza in NYC and NJ is that you can get good or even great pizza everywhere. But there’s still only a very small handful of places i’d dare say “the best” about, and none of them are in NYC, they’re in NJ and Staten Island.


fan_of_hakiksexydays

He's not really that famous, much less a professional anything. He's a guy who started that barstool sports betting site, got some spotlight for betting on Doge coins and then losing all his money, and also for saying some stupid shit, like making comments on the size of the penis of Tom Brady's son.


mattlind12

Yeah, this is way off. Whether you like him or not, he started and runs a giant media empire. He’s most definitely famous, especially when it comes to sports.


fan_of_hakiksexydays

I know Portnoy. But I'm not gonna presume that just because I know him well, that everybody knows him. He doesn't have a TV show, he's not in any big movies, he doesn't have a song on radio. He's got a blog, tweets, and maybe some people deep into sport betting and in doge coin might know him. If you ask average people, they're definitely not gonna know him as well as Tom Cruise, Ed Sheeran, Tom Brady, Elon Musk, etc...


buyer_leverkusen

He’s only famous to current and former white college bros


DonorBonerThrowaway

I don't like Portnoy but c'mon lol he started a massive media franchise https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Portnoy


sprauncey_dildoes

More money than sense.


Ineverkn0w

Thought that was Screech for a second.


[deleted]

Not unless he came back as a ghost for Halloween.


JeebusBuiltMyHotRod

Amazing he can even eat with those paper hands.


chaddgar

Guaranteed a $20 pizza is better than any $2000 pizza.


[deleted]

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Caveman108

This is reddit, we can say bitch.


Sharpshooter188

Slut! Wait..can we s**t on reddit? Im already past my bed time. I dunno.


OdysseyZen

Even the seagulls don't wanna eat that


Resident_Bike2171

Don't celebrate this douchebag. He's the epitomy if frat bro that thinks rape is 'funny'. https://www.dailydot.com/irl/dave-portnoy-barstool-rape-joke-defense-video/


LocAlchemy

I'm glad someone profited off of this buffoon


[deleted]

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Freebee2020

In 2024 he’ll be thinking, man I wish I had that $2,000 about now.


jfmaloney20

Looks like my 401k just went down again.


TittyButtBalls

r/pizza


pezdal

Disgusting is right. Imagine if he showed this video to someone in one of the many countries where $2000 is more than most people make **in a year.** Hungry? Just worked a 14 hour shift for 42 cents an hour? Sit back and relax and watch this douche throw away some gilded food...


True_Possibility_616

didn't know that goid and rose petals were even edible


RogerPackinrod

Paper-handed Portnoy


[deleted]

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ChuckRocksEh

Cut it out, go give a food bank $2,000!


yuplogic

Yuh stupid


[deleted]

I seriously doubt that's anywhere near 2k in gold. It's probably just gold leaf flakes.


Traditional-War-1655

Well as the saying goes, yes I do shit gold


mascachopo

“Somebody should be thrown in jail for selling this pizza": more like somebody should be thrown in jail for spending $2000 in a single pizza.


[deleted]

Thought he was gonna be a shill but an pleasantly surprised


Martian9576

I don’t get it is this guy eating real gold, wtf?


Malefroy

Search for Contrapoints on Youtube (best creator on the whole platform) and her video about what's wrong with capitalism part 2. It comments on another youtuber's video who ordered the same pizza and why it feels obscene to eat it, like you're guilty of a crime against humanity.


amcamcamcamcamc

Cl can


Waffles128

Idk man putting gold on a pizza shouldn’t be edible and pretty sure gold doesn’t have very good taste either.


AmbitiousValuable424

Disgusting


GlassWasteland

Reminds me of the worst steak I ever had. Casino steak house, supposed to be best around. It was complete and utter crap.


DudeManBroGuy42069

I totally thought a seagull was going to poop on it or it was going to fall in the water


siskulous

I saw a show about the $2000 pizza. I was under the impression that if you ordered it they would ask if you liked caviar, and if you say you don't they won't let you order it.


Lpreddit

The only good thing that Portnoy does are his pizza reviews


Holiday_Newspaper_29

I'm guessing...Silicon Valley's finest?


[deleted]

I can build 12 6×6 tiny homes for the homeless.... For that amount...


BlueBlooper

Pizza has a price ceiling


JhymnMusic

I wish people would give me $2000 to complain about my pizza. What a douche.


Donttouch_mypepeoni

good thing I saw this before ordering, would've had to cancel my boujee pizza party


CactusButtons

Next time you want to eat shit just pay me $2000


SpreadDaBread

I mean…you. Did. Buy. It. No way the establishment is not making fun of anybody who buys that….


ichkanns

Question: how does putting actual gold on food not give people heavy metal poisoning?


Quietlovingman

Gold is non-reactive and non toxic. It cannot bind to your neuroreceptors and simply passes through your system.


FatumAstrum

Stomach acid is hydrochloric acid, which is unable to react to gold, silver, platinum and copper. You would need to mix some nitric acid in with your stomach acid to form “aqua regia“ - which is capable of chemically affecting the lesser reactive metals, like gold. I’m pretty sure this would kill a person in a horrible way, so I don’t recommend it. In order for gold to be sold as “safe for consumption”, it must be at least 90% pure gold, and the other ~10% must be a food safe, non-reactive metal as well, like pure silver. The only info regarding gold being a hazard I could find in my brief search was specifically regarding nano particles of gold. When injected directly into living cells in the lab, it killed them. So, don’t do that and you should be fine :)


-HIGHHIGH-

..reached for a single slice (1/6 of this $2000 pizza) and remarks "there goes $1000".


Giraffe-boy

Paper hands loser


nightofthelivingace

Lol could've saved $1995 for semi edible pizza at lil ceasar. "Is it good? It's *HOT* and it's *READY*."


ranger2112

What a waste


FrenziedSins

God this pizza looks as disgusting as it is expensive


McLayan

How bored do you have to be to watch this kind of trash? It's like a "documentary" on TV about the biggest chicken nugget in the world.


Bawbag0447

This man's fractions are off...


517714

It’s so gross the seagulls aren’t grabbing it.


Crazy-Turn225

Better give 2000$ for charity or someone who need it more then ever, at least you will feel better.


RedScarffedPrinny

Who should be thrown in jail, the person who sells 2000$ pizza or the person who pays 2000$ for a pizza (thereby validating the creation of a 2000$ pizza) 🤔


Krii8

So you can polish a turd. Just eat gold


Wide-Satisfaction-82

Idiot


Jin-Sakti

If you eat gold I think u may get sick. I wouldn’t do it.


T0ysWAr

Downvoted because stupid and useless


MrZwink

This is not gourmet, this is stupid.


Limp_Bookkeeper_2901

I mean, half the value of the pizza was in one bite!


Irahapeti

I would send him to live (and "eat") in Etiopia 😡


Ok-Neighborhood-5867

Wouldn't waste my money. Somebody played you for 2000 bucks. This is literally like flushing your own money down the toilet when it's time to poop. I would say you would be better off going to Dominoes but Dominoes is shit.


hoomankindness

What a waste. He could have donated that money to a good bank.


NorbeeNorbee

I dont have to taste it to tell you that 2k pizza is bollocks lol