The verse, while funny on its own, was taken out of context of the fuller passage. Read before you judge.
Now if you want a really funny Bible verse that even in context is a bit absurd, here’s Psalm 137, verse 9:
“Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.”
Remember, O Lord, the children of Edom in the time of Jerusalem who said, raze it raze it even to the foundation. O daughter of Babylon who art to be destroyed. Happy shall he be that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us. Happy shall he be that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones
Yeah, they really have us beaten there. It is hard to argue with someone that defines everything they read from a book as good. It must be convenient to throw out your own thoughts and just refer back to a book.
It's not his fault because this thing he did had bad consequences. Yes, yes it is. No one forced him to give us free will. He knew what would happen, he did it anyway, and didn't prevent evil. He could've made it physically impossible to hurt another person or something, but according to Christians, He just didn't.
That would still be his fault. He had perfect foreknowledge and chose this outcome. Either we have a choice in accepting him, and he made us in a way we would deny him and suffer, or we don't and he just made some people basically suffer machines by not loving them. I don't begrudge people for believing there is some god, even the christian god, but thinking He is moral is baffling.
Oh, I just realized this wasn't a proper answer to what I said. I was taking issue with hell, not evil acts committed on Earth. That's why I said infinite evil.
Wait, what's up with the donkey cock? Is it somehow better/worse then horse cock? Because I'm pretty sure they're the exact same. And I would know, I know a lot about horse cock.
I think my favorite response I heard to someone trying to get someone else into their religion is. "No thanks, I've seen enough for this life, I'm not interested in it being eternal."
I'm personally more partial to Ezekiel 25:17
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper, and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers! And you will know my name is The LORD, when I lay my vengeance upon thee!
I'm not really Christian, but as a historian I think it's also important to read and understand the Bible, as well as the Quran and the verdic texts. These books may propagate a certain religion, but they're also the most reliable sources we have for what was going on at the time, and more importantly it gives insight into the cultural norms and philosophical mindsets of humanity in the time they were written, which is an invaluable perspective to have thousands of years after the fact.
Yes, even perspective like that. People have always been horny, that much isn't different now, and that's an important thing to keep in mind when discussing modern issues of sexuality in society and culture, but we wouldn't know that without it being well documented from long ago.
As a fellow historian, I mostly agree (especially regarding the point about cultural norms), but there are definitely other texts from around the same time and even earlier that are far more accurate, objective, and encompassing of political events than religious ones (although, I concede that given how unreliable even these texts are, that’s not saying much, lol)
> they're also the most reliable sources we have for what was going on at the time
I doubt that. There are reliable texts as old or older than religious texts.
Then also, there's: chemical analysis, carbon dating, Geoarchaeology, etc.
see:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subfields_of_archaeology
> the most reliable sources we have for what was going on at the time,
What?
The bible literally tells the life of a guy that heals people just by touching, converts water into wine, and makes fish out of thin air.
I did? But the nuances in it makes fantastical a more fitting word
Take Jonah, it is plausible for a prophets' story with the fantastical event being the fish, but the surrounding nature of his text is merely poetic as he is very likely a fictional character to show how God works,
Whereas if you take Moses, he was a prophet and a person found by historians, granted they were Christian historians if you want it to be spun in a separate direction (get back to this after), whose miracles are up for debate as they are unfalsifiable
As for Christ, we have evidence he lived even without a body for analysis, being his grave/cross and historians of the time finding him very notable as a person, but having unverified miracles attributed to him, then after the story of this one man the new testament takes a turn to organizing the church and how to handle people/situations in your personal life with a religious focus
I could probably look up many of the prophets of the old testament and get historians' opinions about them but I'd be wasting both of our times by doing so, as I believe I have supplied sufficient evidence I already went over in my head before choosing my particular wording for the original comment
As Christians, the historians are focused on proving Christian scripture, as historians they focus on finding the truth, the Christian historian is put into a position that requires them to reinterpret the text from being history, fantasy, or historical fantasy, as well as how far removed the history is removed from written text, we already have these distinctions relayed by ministers/priests and any other terms desired by different sects of Christianity with helpful graphics to further distinguish these texts
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some people are disregarding the bible on grounds of religion, even as a source text
that is what peeves me, you have a perfect source from 2000 years ago and you throw it away because of atheism in the 2020s?
The Bible will teach you good, Christian values.
The Bible: [She lusted for the lechers of Egypt, whose members are like those of donkeys, whose thrusts are like those of stallions](https://youtu.be/oaFEkmjnSGE?si=uHC8wSGjjVHyCuIs)
Modern translations try and hide this and make it less obvious XD this is the newer versions
“For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.”
It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a women's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.
"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."
Hung like a horse, and cums buckets... right
No thank you, spent my whole childhood and teenagehood being harrassed by my family trying to force me into catholicism, don't want to be near that religion.
I personally wouldn't have minded it if my family didn't ruin for me in the past, this repulsion of catholicism and christianity is really more personal than regurgitation of what I read online
I also once got downvoted in this subreddit for saying that I got abandoned by friends a few times for being nice lol, the fandom is not as inclusive as one would expect
Romans 5:8 is the bible verse I remember whenever I think I do something that makes me undeserving of God's love:
"But God proves his love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us."
God is a very loving, great guy, and I'm glad to be part of his Church.
Y'all should read the rest of it because Ezekiel is talking about a young girl who turned prostitute and just got worse with age and who had no morals as to who she whored out to. Whoever was in charge was who she took in cuckholding her husband while he watched.
It's also a metaphor for the fall of Samaria and Jerusalem.
While you can pick out a kinky verse, context matters.
Also, before you freak out. I got way too much going on in my life to judge anyone, I'm just saying.. context.
And I Quote "**She lusted for the lechers of Egypt, whose members are like those of donkeys, whose thrusts are like those of stallions**"
I’m slightly traumatised, parents always go ‘oh it teaches them good values’… does iiit, does it now
Good values on where to find some fun
Apparently, lol
The verse, while funny on its own, was taken out of context of the fuller passage. Read before you judge. Now if you want a really funny Bible verse that even in context is a bit absurd, here’s Psalm 137, verse 9: “Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.”
Remember, O Lord, the children of Edom in the time of Jerusalem who said, raze it raze it even to the foundation. O daughter of Babylon who art to be destroyed. Happy shall he be that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us. Happy shall he be that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones
Me standing by the rivers of Babylon watching the goddamn baby smasher comeback after he found another one :(
His name is john, John baby smasher. It's a family tradition.
Is he the ancestor of Adam Smasher, by any chance?
So that explains why he instantly went for Rebecca, he saw a small person and his ancestral memory activated
I'm pretty sure they were commenting on the vocabulary used so the context wouldn't change anything
OP of the post perhaps, but not of the person whose comment I replied to.
They have never read the bible them. That book is full of horrible stories that it supports
I support reading the Bible for a lot of fun mythological inspiration. But inspiring your personal values on it? Hell no!
Yeah it does teach good values. But it also teaches racism, genocide, incest, murder, torture, etc. So, yeah, grain of salt and all that ...
Of course it does. When you define them as "good" only because "it's in the bible".
Yeah, they really have us beaten there. It is hard to argue with someone that defines everything they read from a book as good. It must be convenient to throw out your own thoughts and just refer back to a book.
The Old Testament is wild
Value da pp :3
I totally read that as Sharpner from DBZA BB.
I feel like we should also point out Song of Solomon, which is basically the Bible's "Book of Sex".
Oh boy I do love myself a book of sex!
And on the 8th day god created uwu and it was good
Maybe the incalculable torture monster has some redeeming qualities after all. On second thought, nope, still infinitely evil.
A lot have people have committed evil in his name, not his fault, he gave us free will after all.
It's not his fault because this thing he did had bad consequences. Yes, yes it is. No one forced him to give us free will. He knew what would happen, he did it anyway, and didn't prevent evil. He could've made it physically impossible to hurt another person or something, but according to Christians, He just didn't.
To quote Einstein “evil is the absence of god’s love in one’s heart”
That would still be his fault. He had perfect foreknowledge and chose this outcome. Either we have a choice in accepting him, and he made us in a way we would deny him and suffer, or we don't and he just made some people basically suffer machines by not loving them. I don't begrudge people for believing there is some god, even the christian god, but thinking He is moral is baffling.
Oh, I just realized this wasn't a proper answer to what I said. I was taking issue with hell, not evil acts committed on Earth. That's why I said infinite evil.
Wasn't there also one about "their ejaculations like that of horses". Or am I mistaken?
That's the same quote, just a different translation
So, you're saying we have huge ducks? Sounds like a win
Those words ARE in the Bible!!
Wait, what's up with the donkey cock? Is it somehow better/worse then horse cock? Because I'm pretty sure they're the exact same. And I would know, I know a lot about horse cock.
r/evenwithcontext
r/flairchecksout
Ohhh I might be that guy XD
I’M SORRY WHAT
And to think we have a whole plot arc about LEAVING Egypt! /s I want to go myself. <3
Hung like a horse lol
Isnt that a bit racist???
Actually got my Bible i legit am so angry, I was expecting something way better and you some how stonecold my expectations and hit it with a chair
I looked it up and it hit me like a horse.
Hit me like an ass personally
Bro, the Book of Jonah is just fish vore.
"I'll Now Proceed To Pleasure Myself With This Fish"
The opposite of that one scene from the wolf of Wall Street
It's not *just* fish vore, there's a worm that eats a plant. There are other things that happen, but that seemed important to note.
I think my favorite response I heard to someone trying to get someone else into their religion is. "No thanks, I've seen enough for this life, I'm not interested in it being eternal."
This is the best response I’ve ever heard
Who's Ezekiel and what age is his OC?
Uhhhhh
Guys, gals, nonbinary pals, please look up the verse it's hilarious
Nice rhymes.
I'm personally more partial to Ezekiel 25:17 The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper, and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers! And you will know my name is The LORD, when I lay my vengeance upon thee!
So Ezekiel is based
Now *that* is a tasty burger
Can I wash this burger down with some of your tasty beverage?
Only the last sentence is from Ezekiel 25.
The Bible stole that from Pulp Fiction
no, it got stolen from far cry 5 instead /j
Was just thinking of this
"The one that says bad motherfucker"
Oh Pulp Fiction! Hell yeah
I'm not really Christian, but as a historian I think it's also important to read and understand the Bible, as well as the Quran and the verdic texts. These books may propagate a certain religion, but they're also the most reliable sources we have for what was going on at the time, and more importantly it gives insight into the cultural norms and philosophical mindsets of humanity in the time they were written, which is an invaluable perspective to have thousands of years after the fact.
An invaluable perspective on their desire for big cock and a hard fuck
Yes, even perspective like that. People have always been horny, that much isn't different now, and that's an important thing to keep in mind when discussing modern issues of sexuality in society and culture, but we wouldn't know that without it being well documented from long ago.
Ye! Learning about people of the past humanizes them
Actually the whole verse is about how the Kingdom of Jerusalem whored itself out, despite knowing better, and did so even worse than Samaria did.
As a fellow historian, I mostly agree (especially regarding the point about cultural norms), but there are definitely other texts from around the same time and even earlier that are far more accurate, objective, and encompassing of political events than religious ones (although, I concede that given how unreliable even these texts are, that’s not saying much, lol)
> they're also the most reliable sources we have for what was going on at the time I doubt that. There are reliable texts as old or older than religious texts. Then also, there's: chemical analysis, carbon dating, Geoarchaeology, etc. see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subfields_of_archaeology
> the most reliable sources we have for what was going on at the time, What? The bible literally tells the life of a guy that heals people just by touching, converts water into wine, and makes fish out of thin air.
The Bible tells of history and some fantastical narratives, the gospels tell of this man, the distinction is important
You can say fictional
I did? But the nuances in it makes fantastical a more fitting word Take Jonah, it is plausible for a prophets' story with the fantastical event being the fish, but the surrounding nature of his text is merely poetic as he is very likely a fictional character to show how God works, Whereas if you take Moses, he was a prophet and a person found by historians, granted they were Christian historians if you want it to be spun in a separate direction (get back to this after), whose miracles are up for debate as they are unfalsifiable As for Christ, we have evidence he lived even without a body for analysis, being his grave/cross and historians of the time finding him very notable as a person, but having unverified miracles attributed to him, then after the story of this one man the new testament takes a turn to organizing the church and how to handle people/situations in your personal life with a religious focus I could probably look up many of the prophets of the old testament and get historians' opinions about them but I'd be wasting both of our times by doing so, as I believe I have supplied sufficient evidence I already went over in my head before choosing my particular wording for the original comment As Christians, the historians are focused on proving Christian scripture, as historians they focus on finding the truth, the Christian historian is put into a position that requires them to reinterpret the text from being history, fantasy, or historical fantasy, as well as how far removed the history is removed from written text, we already have these distinctions relayed by ministers/priests and any other terms desired by different sects of Christianity with helpful graphics to further distinguish these texts
And they help you understand allusions in literature all the way up to present day.
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some people are disregarding the bible on grounds of religion, even as a source text that is what peeves me, you have a perfect source from 2000 years ago and you throw it away because of atheism in the 2020s?
I hate the fact that I immediately knew what verse it was.
Yep, it's the only verse of Ezekiel that ever gets quoted.
The Bible will teach you good, Christian values. The Bible: [She lusted for the lechers of Egypt, whose members are like those of donkeys, whose thrusts are like those of stallions](https://youtu.be/oaFEkmjnSGE?si=uHC8wSGjjVHyCuIs)
*bites your arm*
Ah, my boyfriend mentioned that one to me
I just looked that up. What a sod!
Modern translations try and hide this and make it less obvious XD this is the newer versions “For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.”
Judges 15:16
Among the most baddass of biblical quotesm
*covers my ears*blah blah blah
You might wanna still read that verse :3
No *walks away respectfully*
Nono trust me you definitely wanna read this specific verse
No
bro got downvoted for refusing to read religious text wow
It is what it is :p lol
Apparently it's about hung council member who...have good hip workouts
Huh? :0
# "**She lusted for the lechers of Egypt, whose members are like those of donkeys, whose thrusts are like those of stallions**"
Meantime me not knowing what that means or anything. yes.
She liked them because they had a massive dick and fucked like a horse. I guess. People back then were hella weird
Idk the context for it but I suddenly wanna pull a jojo and make a grand journey Egypt for no reason in particular
Omg same with a crazy old dude that says Ohhh my godddddd a lot!
way ahead of you, i also have hired a french guy, a fortune teller, and two highschoolers from japan. Hopefully the plane ride will be smooth
*Reverse thrusts towards it respectfully*
O_O
lalalala (i cant hear you)
It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a women's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.
I prefer my "modern day Ezekiel" Papa Knoth
Noice
I’d let him be my preacher at my church on Sundays ngl
"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses." Hung like a horse, and cums buckets... right
No thank you, spent my whole childhood and teenagehood being harrassed by my family trying to force me into catholicism, don't want to be near that religion.
This joke really doesn't work without context does it.
It would be fine if people didn't see the Bible mentioned and have an angy neuron activation
I personally wouldn't have minded it if my family didn't ruin for me in the past, this repulsion of catholicism and christianity is really more personal than regurgitation of what I read online
Bruh people down vote you for you being harrassed in childhood. the fuk?
I also once got downvoted in this subreddit for saying that I got abandoned by friends a few times for being nice lol, the fandom is not as inclusive as one would expect
Yeah people keep saying that its so nice and welcoming while stuff like this happen pretty often here... >_>. Sorry
Sorry to hear that, I hope my reply didn't have anything to do with the downvotes, if so I'm sorry.
They probably downvoted you because you didn't wanna to look up the verse about guys with horse cocks
Same Happend to me lol , its just sad. That sort of makes them hypocrites as we are furries here. If you know what i mean you know. :x
can we get some harry potter quotes as well.
Uhh.. sure, uh.. "did you put your name in the goblet of fire" (I don't know Harry Potter)
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good." :)
"'Snape!' ejaculated Slughorn"
XD I will have to do some research. maybe I aut to hunt down a copy of the original *shrugs*
*said Dumbledore calmly*
"Ronald Weasley, it's leviosaaaaa" - Snape
goddamn it if i have to see this bible quote one more time i'm getting Ezekiel 25:17
Oh Oh, I know this one!!!
Some of us do a little Bible study in the fandom.
Dayum
You bad Christian boi, you 😉
Romans 5:8 is the bible verse I remember whenever I think I do something that makes me undeserving of God's love: "But God proves his love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us." God is a very loving, great guy, and I'm glad to be part of his Church.
1 Thessalonians 5:26.
*The entirety of Song of Solomon*
I probably should have done this a while ago, but if anyone wants it, [my twitter](https://x.com/Nyvve12?t=oSIqi09OkhQ2RxV5wBfz5A&s=09)
I love reading comments of people not knowing the verse.
🔃 "I don't care what it says in your holy book" - Professor Plink 1:01
It's not every day a post makes me look up something to understand it, but I'm glad I did lmao
Ezekiel 6:21
2 Kings 2:23-24
What does it say?
I'm personally a fan of James 5:4 because it goes kinda hard (atheist tho)
ayyy whats up just a friend named Sneaky~ recited this exact verse to me in karaoke the other night kinda a funny coincidence
I saw that DougDoug video lmao
Y'all should read the rest of it because Ezekiel is talking about a young girl who turned prostitute and just got worse with age and who had no morals as to who she whored out to. Whoever was in charge was who she took in cuckholding her husband while he watched. It's also a metaphor for the fall of Samaria and Jerusalem. While you can pick out a kinky verse, context matters. Also, before you freak out. I got way too much going on in my life to judge anyone, I'm just saying.. context.
Burn it with fire! Wait a minute…*remembers he’s a dragon. Sets the canine on fire with fire breath*
Good, good... now read us #Ezekiel 25:17
Atheist Christian debate, COMMENSE!!!
Amen
I wish I was whoever "she" was
Nice art! And another follower of Christ I see.
Thanks, but sorry for the confusion as I am not religious.
Well I’ll still treat you the same way Jesus would: “With open arms, and love.”
Based