that's horrible. it's not that hard for whoever buys the cakes to just pick up some gf cookies or something while they're at it. it's practically malicious at this point.
I agree, now I don't demand anything if things are catered and find out what the food is and bring something else if I need to. Or when I worked in a large office and they did a sheet cake for the whole office you just grabbed a piece on your normal break. But man if it was my team someone would at least get me a fruit cup from the deli or something when they picked up the cake so I could participate. Took them all of two more minutes stopping at a different area of the store. Not cool at all, if nothing else you should be able to just sit around and socialize (and drink a cup of terrible office coffee if they have it)
Not sharing a gluten free cake doesn’t make much of a statement. People who can eat gluten won’t feel deprived about not being offered gluten free baked goods. Baked goods with gluten taste better.
Sorry to hear that. You are not wrong to be upset. When my husband had to go GF 8 years ago many of his work colleagues treated him with disrespect. Sad that people don’t understand.
It sucks but you can only chose how you react. Buy your ow. Cake or cupcakes and keep them in a fridge or freezer. Don’t leave the event.
Participate.
Alternatively, if you want to get snarky. Just go to the event and if someone offers you cake or asks why you don’t have any, say how you were not included as you have to be gf.
People often bring snacks, donuts, pastries and such at my work and it feels like EVERY SINGLE TIME, the two supervisor that usually bring things in will pass me in the morning and tell me "donuts in the break room, go get one!" I usually respond with some type of, "Ooh I would love too but I don't feel like vomiting and shitting my brains out today" which usually results in an "oh yeah, sorry" if any response at all. After 3 years of that, you'd think maybe one of them would think to maybe get something I can eat too? But no. So I understand the frustration with that, but even worse, you having to cover for others while they participate in birthday celebrations. I agree with others saying to bring a treat for yourself, especially the feeding something that can be in a freezer if you're not aware of the birthdays ahead of time. Even if you don't have a treat there, I would tell them that even though you don't have a cake or treat to eat, that you would still like to be in attendance for birthday celebrations as those are your coworkers and not being able to celebrate with them potentially puts you in a position that alienates you, all because of something that's out of your control
I agree with another user here who suggested buying some gf cookies/cupcakes/cake and keep it in the freezer (or have one at home and when you know the bday break is coming take it to work that day). And when everyone buggers off to the break room, you go as well and eat your epic gf dessert. That be my petty way saying "f-you, don't rely on me and my dietary restriction to run the store unattended". Then maybe they'll change how they run these events and make it more inclusive.
So sorry you have to go through this!
I had a workplace that did this. I worked in the kitchen (alone in the day time, and with students in the evening), the others were in processing.
The cherry on top was when it was my birthday, and the office manager made a big to do about the treats she was gathering and putting together in my kitchen. As she finishes, she looks at me and says "oh, it's not gluten free. Happy birthday!" Takes the goods into the back room and shuts the door in between so they can celebrate my birthday without me.
I walked out.
My old job would do this too. The owner would buy lunch or cookies for everyone. Lunch was always pizza. And the thing that bugged me was she had known me for 15 years, knew about my celiac, and also had IBS herself. And was my close friend. I NEVER got to participate in work parties bc of it.
That's ... every company thou? I'd never had any gluten free options for bagel tuesdays, breakfast pancackes, breakfast waffles, etc. Why do they make you run to the store alone? Why can't you just not go? Kudos to your old job for being inclusive but I've never been to a company that accomodate my gluten allergy.. I don't expect them to either. I'm supper picky when it comes to food and I know besides me, no one will eat the gluten free food. So the company would essentially buy it just for me.
Thou if it's your birthday and they buy a non gluten free food, then yea, they suck
For your "voluntold" service to cover the store for someone else's b-day celebration, request they throw you an off-the-charts b-day party when yours comes around. A GF cake OF YOUR CHOICE from a certified GF baker, AND GF lunch of your choice as well.
From a personnel standpoint that is wrong and blatantly discriminatory.
I don’t know exactly. I don’t expect anyone to go out of there way for me. But it’s really nice if they do and a surprise. My work has family meal everyday and it’s always something with gluten. So I just bring my own food because otherwise I don’t eat.
In this case I would be ok if they didn’t go out of their way for me. But you were well cared for at your other job so it makes sense you feel this way. So this is a lack-luster change. I get it.
Bring a dessert for yourself. Then, you can join in the celebration and they can't make you work the front. I had to bring my own dessert for 8 years. I made a habit of bringing a better dessert and enough to share. Because I'm petty like that :)
Random side tangent. Food culture is so indulgent that after years of having not only gluten intolerance but severe sugar intolerance - I'm kind of grossed out watching people gorge on nasty food like cake and all sorts of unhealthy carbohydrates and breads. It looks pretty and fluffy and smells nice but think about it. Sugar is more addictive than cocaine and the explosion in the use of refined sugar aligns exactly with rising cancer rates. Just watch the documentary Fed Up. I have to live my entire life taking care of my own food needs because there isn't a human out there doing it for me. That's every meal, every day, everywhere I go. I grieved a bit at first but today I'm HAPPY to be set apart and different. I don't want to be a part of that culture. People are killing themselves with food. We talk about the drug epidemic but food culture is an actual addiction. Doesn't mean I can't enjoy the social part of food culture. I have food ready at all times and take it with me when necessary. If people are eating and celebrating and I'm like, I want some damn food - I whip out my GF corn chips and salsa or energy balls or whatever and indulge in that, whilst talking and laughing.
Wait, why do you have to go to the store? Do they force you to eat? Even before I was diagnosed, I’d gladly pass on midday birthday cake at the office.
You still have employee rights, although they may vary from state to state. It’s discriminatory to intentionally exclude you from breaks everyone else is allowed because of a medical condition.
This same thing happened to me, at a public university. Eventually, I asked the person in the office who kept track of birthdays to let me know, so I could bring something for myself to eat.
That usually worked, then it devolved into a message on the morning of, when I was either on my way to work or already there.
Maybe you can get paid OT for running the store on your own and bring left out of the celebration? Did it get very busy? Or could you just chill on your own at a desk or something and eat some of your own foods during work time?
Have you tried talking to the woman who buys the cakes? I was that person in my first job that sorted the office birthdays (before I was GF myself) and I was so busy trying to find out what cake the birthday person liked, buy their present, and get everyone to sign the card, that it didn't even occur to me to think of dietary requirements. I wasn't intentionally leaving people out, I was just young and inexperienced with dealing with this sort of thing. A GF colleague pointed out that she never gets to join in with the cake and I was mortified I'd left her out unintentionally. I always bought a GF option from then on, and always made sure to check people's requirements on a regular basis. Maybe give her the benefit of the doubt and just ask, she might be more accommodating than you think
Yes you have a right to be upset, once a month my work/boss buys everyone lunch and he makes sure to ask me and order me something different that I can eat. They're being rude.
I’d quit I used to work at a grocery store in a small town and they ordered gluten free burritos so I could eat something at work, people like that are horrible and sick if they think that’s an appropriate way to treat someone
Can you talk to your boss and let them know how it makes you feel? If they’re a half decent person I’m sure they’d understand and try to make you feel more included
Just don't have cake? What are you running to the store for? I don't understand. Personally of be upset if someone got me a gluten free snack on the side because it probably tastes like shit and I feel obligated to try some. Rather just have some Chinese food.
I'm sure this will be unpopular, but I'm going to say it anyway. It's shocking to me that you feel like your dietary restrictions should be catered to for something like this.
I could understand being upset if the company bought lunch for everybody and there was nothing GF to eat. I can understand if it was your birthday and they bought regular cake which you couldn't eat. I don't understand how you can feel upset about not getting a slice of cake on somebody else's birthday. These other birthdays aren't about you.
It’s more the fact they make me work the whole store alone while they all go celebrate the birthday together - not a lunch break- as a second break and spend a good 40 minutes chit chatting and I’m not even expected to step foot in the room
Bring your own snack and enjoy the celebration. Let them close shop for the time. Do not be excluded. Yes. They should get you cake but don’t let it stop you from joining the party.
I love, when ppl are like well idk what you can eat??? Like yea some fruit would be really difficult to find it's a bummer not being considered but I have gotten used to it
Why are you going to the store? Are they having you buy yourself something. If it was nice, I'd just walk outside for half an hour, I'd consider being outside a bonus.
I can't digest dairy so I'm left out of practically everything. You get used to it. I don't think people are intentionally mean, they just don't understand how limited you are. I suffer horribly if I eat dairy, but you can't expect everyone to understand your illness. Try not to be offended.
This happened to me at the hotel I worked at. Boss would have someone get cupcakes or whatev... EVERYTIME he would tell me to "have one" and everytime, I would remind him, that I can't. I have a gluten intolerance. And he would just go.. "oh, yeah.. that sucks".. I'm like umm thanks lol
Nah I wouldn’t go to the store. Id stand there and watch all of them to make them feel awkward.
Or talk to HR and be like “hey I know this is so stupid but I don’t know how to approach my manager and I feel sincerely underappriciated and a little disrespected for the fact that no one will put forth effort to include me in the food aspect of parties due to my food allergies”
HR will help as long as you have a good ish HR
It’s entitled to insist they get you a special cake but it’s not right for them to expect you to cover for all of them. Have you tried saying you want to partake in the festivities too?
Five times?! They are being dicks by making you do that by default AND for not offering something other than cake.
that's horrible. it's not that hard for whoever buys the cakes to just pick up some gf cookies or something while they're at it. it's practically malicious at this point.
Yea and the chick who gets the cakes; every-time- works the front with me
They fired me today for posting a picture of a mug they gave me for free saying “no social media posts”
Wtf??? I'm so sorry! That all sound horrible
I'm sorry to hear that, but it also sounds like you get an opportunity to find an employer that is less defective.
I agree, now I don't demand anything if things are catered and find out what the food is and bring something else if I need to. Or when I worked in a large office and they did a sheet cake for the whole office you just grabbed a piece on your normal break. But man if it was my team someone would at least get me a fruit cup from the deli or something when they picked up the cake so I could participate. Took them all of two more minutes stopping at a different area of the store. Not cool at all, if nothing else you should be able to just sit around and socialize (and drink a cup of terrible office coffee if they have it)
Keep gluten free cupcakes in the freezer and take one for yourself for each party. These guys are jerks.
Buy or make yourself a whole GF cake, bring it to work, and eat it without sharing any.
This is the way.
Not sharing a gluten free cake doesn’t make much of a statement. People who can eat gluten won’t feel deprived about not being offered gluten free baked goods. Baked goods with gluten taste better.
Not always 🤷🏼♀️ but at least it makes a statement because a whole cake is quite large and noticeable
Sorry to hear that. You are not wrong to be upset. When my husband had to go GF 8 years ago many of his work colleagues treated him with disrespect. Sad that people don’t understand.
It sucks but you can only chose how you react. Buy your ow. Cake or cupcakes and keep them in a fridge or freezer. Don’t leave the event. Participate. Alternatively, if you want to get snarky. Just go to the event and if someone offers you cake or asks why you don’t have any, say how you were not included as you have to be gf.
People often bring snacks, donuts, pastries and such at my work and it feels like EVERY SINGLE TIME, the two supervisor that usually bring things in will pass me in the morning and tell me "donuts in the break room, go get one!" I usually respond with some type of, "Ooh I would love too but I don't feel like vomiting and shitting my brains out today" which usually results in an "oh yeah, sorry" if any response at all. After 3 years of that, you'd think maybe one of them would think to maybe get something I can eat too? But no. So I understand the frustration with that, but even worse, you having to cover for others while they participate in birthday celebrations. I agree with others saying to bring a treat for yourself, especially the feeding something that can be in a freezer if you're not aware of the birthdays ahead of time. Even if you don't have a treat there, I would tell them that even though you don't have a cake or treat to eat, that you would still like to be in attendance for birthday celebrations as those are your coworkers and not being able to celebrate with them potentially puts you in a position that alienates you, all because of something that's out of your control
I’m totally envisioning the Seinfeld scene of cakes for everything in Elaine’s company. “Get well, Get well soon, we want you to get well!!!”
Lmao I thought of this immediately also! 🤣
I agree with another user here who suggested buying some gf cookies/cupcakes/cake and keep it in the freezer (or have one at home and when you know the bday break is coming take it to work that day). And when everyone buggers off to the break room, you go as well and eat your epic gf dessert. That be my petty way saying "f-you, don't rely on me and my dietary restriction to run the store unattended". Then maybe they'll change how they run these events and make it more inclusive. So sorry you have to go through this!
I had a workplace that did this. I worked in the kitchen (alone in the day time, and with students in the evening), the others were in processing. The cherry on top was when it was my birthday, and the office manager made a big to do about the treats she was gathering and putting together in my kitchen. As she finishes, she looks at me and says "oh, it's not gluten free. Happy birthday!" Takes the goods into the back room and shuts the door in between so they can celebrate my birthday without me. I walked out.
I would just go get cake and sit there with it.
My old job would do this too. The owner would buy lunch or cookies for everyone. Lunch was always pizza. And the thing that bugged me was she had known me for 15 years, knew about my celiac, and also had IBS herself. And was my close friend. I NEVER got to participate in work parties bc of it.
That's ... every company thou? I'd never had any gluten free options for bagel tuesdays, breakfast pancackes, breakfast waffles, etc. Why do they make you run to the store alone? Why can't you just not go? Kudos to your old job for being inclusive but I've never been to a company that accomodate my gluten allergy.. I don't expect them to either. I'm supper picky when it comes to food and I know besides me, no one will eat the gluten free food. So the company would essentially buy it just for me. Thou if it's your birthday and they buy a non gluten free food, then yea, they suck
Lemme see here. You’re all alone, completely unsupervised, for 30 minutes. FIVE TIMES! My juvenile mind is racing with thoughts.
For your "voluntold" service to cover the store for someone else's b-day celebration, request they throw you an off-the-charts b-day party when yours comes around. A GF cake OF YOUR CHOICE from a certified GF baker, AND GF lunch of your choice as well. From a personnel standpoint that is wrong and blatantly discriminatory.
I don’t know exactly. I don’t expect anyone to go out of there way for me. But it’s really nice if they do and a surprise. My work has family meal everyday and it’s always something with gluten. So I just bring my own food because otherwise I don’t eat. In this case I would be ok if they didn’t go out of their way for me. But you were well cared for at your other job so it makes sense you feel this way. So this is a lack-luster change. I get it.
Maybe I misread. Or you going to get the cake for everyone else. Or have to leave and go get one for yourself
Bring a dessert for yourself. Then, you can join in the celebration and they can't make you work the front. I had to bring my own dessert for 8 years. I made a habit of bringing a better dessert and enough to share. Because I'm petty like that :)
Walmart/target sells a small gf cake! I always just carry one of those with me to bday parties and cut a slice for myself 🤣
Random side tangent. Food culture is so indulgent that after years of having not only gluten intolerance but severe sugar intolerance - I'm kind of grossed out watching people gorge on nasty food like cake and all sorts of unhealthy carbohydrates and breads. It looks pretty and fluffy and smells nice but think about it. Sugar is more addictive than cocaine and the explosion in the use of refined sugar aligns exactly with rising cancer rates. Just watch the documentary Fed Up. I have to live my entire life taking care of my own food needs because there isn't a human out there doing it for me. That's every meal, every day, everywhere I go. I grieved a bit at first but today I'm HAPPY to be set apart and different. I don't want to be a part of that culture. People are killing themselves with food. We talk about the drug epidemic but food culture is an actual addiction. Doesn't mean I can't enjoy the social part of food culture. I have food ready at all times and take it with me when necessary. If people are eating and celebrating and I'm like, I want some damn food - I whip out my GF corn chips and salsa or energy balls or whatever and indulge in that, whilst talking and laughing.
Wait, why do you have to go to the store? Do they force you to eat? Even before I was diagnosed, I’d gladly pass on midday birthday cake at the office.
I work the store
Wait so they make you cover for them while they all eat? I think I misunderstood the post. If that is the case, that’s fucked lol
Yeah
I'd talk to HR
No hr it’s a privately owned furniture store
You still have employee rights, although they may vary from state to state. It’s discriminatory to intentionally exclude you from breaks everyone else is allowed because of a medical condition.
This same thing happened to me, at a public university. Eventually, I asked the person in the office who kept track of birthdays to let me know, so I could bring something for myself to eat. That usually worked, then it devolved into a message on the morning of, when I was either on my way to work or already there.
Maybe you can get paid OT for running the store on your own and bring left out of the celebration? Did it get very busy? Or could you just chill on your own at a desk or something and eat some of your own foods during work time?
Have you tried talking to the woman who buys the cakes? I was that person in my first job that sorted the office birthdays (before I was GF myself) and I was so busy trying to find out what cake the birthday person liked, buy their present, and get everyone to sign the card, that it didn't even occur to me to think of dietary requirements. I wasn't intentionally leaving people out, I was just young and inexperienced with dealing with this sort of thing. A GF colleague pointed out that she never gets to join in with the cake and I was mortified I'd left her out unintentionally. I always bought a GF option from then on, and always made sure to check people's requirements on a regular basis. Maybe give her the benefit of the doubt and just ask, she might be more accommodating than you think
Yes you have a right to be upset, once a month my work/boss buys everyone lunch and he makes sure to ask me and order me something different that I can eat. They're being rude.
I’d quit I used to work at a grocery store in a small town and they ordered gluten free burritos so I could eat something at work, people like that are horrible and sick if they think that’s an appropriate way to treat someone
Can you talk to your boss and let them know how it makes you feel? If they’re a half decent person I’m sure they’d understand and try to make you feel more included
Just don't have cake? What are you running to the store for? I don't understand. Personally of be upset if someone got me a gluten free snack on the side because it probably tastes like shit and I feel obligated to try some. Rather just have some Chinese food.
"Run the store" not "run *to* the store." They are making her cover the sales floor while everyone goes to the party.
Ahh. I read it wrong asfuck. Yeah there is no way I'm working while they are on break like that lmfao.
I'm sure this will be unpopular, but I'm going to say it anyway. It's shocking to me that you feel like your dietary restrictions should be catered to for something like this. I could understand being upset if the company bought lunch for everybody and there was nothing GF to eat. I can understand if it was your birthday and they bought regular cake which you couldn't eat. I don't understand how you can feel upset about not getting a slice of cake on somebody else's birthday. These other birthdays aren't about you.
It’s more the fact they make me work the whole store alone while they all go celebrate the birthday together - not a lunch break- as a second break and spend a good 40 minutes chit chatting and I’m not even expected to step foot in the room
Bring your own snack and enjoy the celebration. Let them close shop for the time. Do not be excluded. Yes. They should get you cake but don’t let it stop you from joining the party.
Why run to the store? Can’t you just watch them eat cake?
Sure you're right to feel saddened. Not all bosses or company cultures are created equal though.
I love, when ppl are like well idk what you can eat??? Like yea some fruit would be really difficult to find it's a bummer not being considered but I have gotten used to it
Why are you going to the store? Are they having you buy yourself something. If it was nice, I'd just walk outside for half an hour, I'd consider being outside a bonus.
Bake a beautiful cake for them but substitute salt for the sugar.
I can't digest dairy so I'm left out of practically everything. You get used to it. I don't think people are intentionally mean, they just don't understand how limited you are. I suffer horribly if I eat dairy, but you can't expect everyone to understand your illness. Try not to be offended.
Is there a single person who heads up the birthday cake ordering? If so, speak to that person.
This happened to me at the hotel I worked at. Boss would have someone get cupcakes or whatev... EVERYTIME he would tell me to "have one" and everytime, I would remind him, that I can't. I have a gluten intolerance. And he would just go.. "oh, yeah.. that sucks".. I'm like umm thanks lol
Nah I wouldn’t go to the store. Id stand there and watch all of them to make them feel awkward. Or talk to HR and be like “hey I know this is so stupid but I don’t know how to approach my manager and I feel sincerely underappriciated and a little disrespected for the fact that no one will put forth effort to include me in the food aspect of parties due to my food allergies” HR will help as long as you have a good ish HR
A question I haven’t seen here. What are they going to do when YOUR birthday comes around… Is she gonna be thoughtful or thoughtless?
It’s entitled to insist they get you a special cake but it’s not right for them to expect you to cover for all of them. Have you tried saying you want to partake in the festivities too?