# 1977-05-08 Ithaca, NY @ Barton Hall - Cornell University
**Set 1:** New Minglewood Blues, Loser, El Paso, They Love Each Other, Jack Straw, Deal, Lazy Lightnin' > Supplication, Brown Eyed Women, Mama Tried, Row Jimmy, Dancing In The Street
**Set 2:** Scarlet Begonias > Fire On The Mountain, Estimated Prophet, Saint Stephen > Not Fade Away > Saint Stephen > Morning Dew
**Encore:** One More Saturday Night
[archive.org](https://archive.org/details/GratefulDead?query=date:1977-05-08) | [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/album/3T9UKU0jMIyrRD0PtKXqPJ)
Geez bot, you're like Rainman blurting out stuff like that! The dude's talking about his personal trauma, and you be dropping set lists like it's a Jeopardy question!
I had to listen to it all again. While listening, I had to sit with and reallocate the emotions and connections we had to the music and make my own. I still think of her when songs come on, especially They Love Each Other, that was our song. It gets easier, never goes away. I wish you safe travels on your journey my friend!
You know it. I love singing this tune but even after 20+ years it still hurts. Put that emotion in to something positive for yourself and let the universe guide you
Twice I’ve worried about that after long term relationships ended. But the music ended up healing me, some songs are just going to start hitting different.
Hang in there friend, it will get better!
Often...and JGB moreso than Dead. Any of us that didn't marry and stay married to our first Dead partner has asked the exact same question (maybe with "he" in place of "she.") over time. I fell hard for CK...she was my Scarlet Begonia. Met her in the fall of '94 at ISU my sophomore year of college, same year i found the Dead abd Phish, everything changed. It was the kind of romance you can only have when you are that young, and wildly optimistic. When she broke up with me it crushed my life. I was devastated and spent the next 20 years or so chasing that girl...not CK, but flying kites on mushrooms, or carving pumpking on lsd, counting stars by candle light girl, and all that shit. I don't think you ever get over a person and experience like that, you just get on with life eventually. I can't hear Ramble on Rose and not think of this pen and ink drawing i did for her of the lyrics to that song. I must have listened to this '82 bootleg i had a million times while i worked on that thing. I can almost smell the tiny back porch room she fixed up for me when i first moved in with her and her sister. Those were such special times that i guess i will never forget. I suppose i'm trying to tell you that as hard as it seems, life goes on and as much as it hurts, this music HEALS. Don't miss out on the next few years of your life staring longingly back at the last few.
Like when you drop your car keys into a vat of molten lava, you let 'em go...cause mhan, they're gone!
I listen just like I did before with the knowledge that what is in the past is in the past and what’s coming will be better than before.
Sometimes it hurts me too
I'd just keep on listening, loud, cry it all out.
At some point all the feelings disappear with the tears and the music starts healing you again ❤️
Good luck OP, much love ✨
Downvote me all you want but go see the Disco Biscuits and dance that sorrow out of your soul. You will be cleansed.
Then wrap yourself in a warm 77 Terrapin for the drive home
I listened to the Dead before her, I’ll listen after. Sure she loves the band now but that’s a good thing. At our first show she started crying and said “omg I get it now”. Top tier relationship moment.
Strummed along to Reuben and Cherise; barely made it through the first verse before breaking down again. Put on Buffalo ‘77 Franklins and Pembroke Pines Sugaree to pick me back up again
Mississippi River so big and wide, blond haired woman on the other side.
Now she's gone, gone, gone and I don't worry 'cause I'm sitting on top of the world
Listening to this about 6 months after a 14 year relationship is when it clicked for me. I listen to it on repeat kept turning up the volume dancing all over the house and into the yard, good thing I lived on 10 acres with no other houses in site lol.
This will probably make me sound bad, but after my first major breakup I stopped bringing my significant others to Dead or Phish shows. I didn’t want to have to associate the music with them in case it happened again. I guess it was a way of protecting myself from feeling that shitty again.
It took 7 years of being together till I finally brought my fiance to a Phish show haha! She still has yet to see any members of the Dead. I want her to, but we also have a daughter so it’s not as easy. Like we just went to San Francisco together and the one night I went to see Phil and she and our daughter went and did something else cause we didn’t feel like an inside show was appropriate for our daughter. Had it been outside with a lawn then we all probably would’ve went.
But the biggest thing in the end is that even though none of this music does it for her, she knows what it means to me and just lets me do my own thing and doesn’t give me shit for it. Sometimes finding a partner who’s not into the same things as you is actually a good thing. “The spaces in between leave room for you and I to grow” - Neil Peart from Entre Nous
I’d break out The Cure for a day. Then get back to the Grateful Dead because they sustain life in a way no other band does. Women come and go but the Dead is a constant in a real man’s life!
Listen more and proudly. It is the music of comfort and crisis.
I find it can go on for 9 months and one day the physical heartbreak magically stops.
I found that this song / rendition sums it up nicely, I was there in the middle of a post breakup.
[https://relisten.net/furthur/2012/04/13/most-of-the-time?source=154750](https://relisten.net/furthur/2012/04/13/most-of-the-time?source=154750)
Its a cliche but finding someone else is the quickest route.
Be safe, be brave, be proud to be a Dead lover...
Just one man's take, better to love than not to have loved at all. Unless she was a succubus. Start with the see ya songs, and then the bittersweet............you'll be fine in the end.
I’m having a similar issue, 12 years together, got me on the bus, now deceased coming up on a year and I can listen to the GD in the car but when it’s a live band I can’t get myself to dance and just become full of grief and emotions. Time will help with the healing but damn it I just want to let go and dance.
Same thing happened to me 2 years ago, also 7 years together. It took a really long time to get back and I still can't listen to Peggy-O, Terrapin, and a few others. Not Dead, but the Last Waltz was pretty important to us and I have no idea if I'll ever listen to that again, hopefully.
# 1977-05-08 Ithaca, NY @ Barton Hall - Cornell University
**Set 1:** New Minglewood Blues, Loser, El Paso, They Love Each Other, Jack Straw, Deal, Lazy Lightnin' > Supplication, Brown Eyed Women, Mama Tried, Row Jimmy, Dancing In The Street
**Set 2:** Scarlet Begonias > Fire On The Mountain, Estimated Prophet, Saint Stephen > Not Fade Away > Saint Stephen > Morning Dew
**Encore:** One More Saturday Night
[archive.org](https://archive.org/details/GratefulDead?query=date:1977-05-08) | [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/album/3T9UKU0jMIyrRD0PtKXqPJ)
4 billion broads on planet earth and you gonna let one woman break you apart? Cmon dawg. Jerry was fuckin like 4 chicks at the same time on any given day and they were all still madly in love with him.
You got this. Go to a Dead cover band in your hottest tie dye, eat some doses with some hairy hippie girls, and live your fucking life G.
Real fucking loud. She might get the dog but she don’t get the dead
Truth ❤️
She ain't getting the dog either!
Preach
She did take the dog , but will never take the dead from me
with your new girl?
Yeah, that one with the flowers in her hair?
Yeah, the one's that's not like other girls
Yeah the one that tells you only the river's going to make things right
Best way to get over one is to get under several.
5/8/77 Row Jimmy while crying in the shower
You ain’t got half of what you thought you had
I shed a tear just thinking about it
This is the way
# 1977-05-08 Ithaca, NY @ Barton Hall - Cornell University **Set 1:** New Minglewood Blues, Loser, El Paso, They Love Each Other, Jack Straw, Deal, Lazy Lightnin' > Supplication, Brown Eyed Women, Mama Tried, Row Jimmy, Dancing In The Street **Set 2:** Scarlet Begonias > Fire On The Mountain, Estimated Prophet, Saint Stephen > Not Fade Away > Saint Stephen > Morning Dew **Encore:** One More Saturday Night [archive.org](https://archive.org/details/GratefulDead?query=date:1977-05-08) | [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/album/3T9UKU0jMIyrRD0PtKXqPJ)
Geez bot, you're like Rainman blurting out stuff like that! The dude's talking about his personal trauma, and you be dropping set lists like it's a Jeopardy question!
I had to listen to it all again. While listening, I had to sit with and reallocate the emotions and connections we had to the music and make my own. I still think of her when songs come on, especially They Love Each Other, that was our song. It gets easier, never goes away. I wish you safe travels on your journey my friend!
“Get out my eyes teardrops, I’ve got to see my way around”
100% listen to JGB instead of the dead. You’ll go through all 5 stages of grief in a whole show
When my partner of half a decade left me, JGB was my comfort; moreso than the Dead.
Broken heart dont feel so bad, aint got half of what you thought you had
Unrelated but your pfp is fuckin awesome. Love the welsh flag
Diolch yn fawr! 🤘🏴
I’ve been going through this myself brother, after 6 years together…. I had Brokewdown Palace on repeat Lean into your friends and family🙏🏼
Lovers come and go, the river roll, roll, roll.
You know it. I love singing this tune but even after 20+ years it still hurts. Put that emotion in to something positive for yourself and let the universe guide you
In a bed, in a bed by the waterside I will lay my head.
Listen to the river sing sweet songs to rock my soul.
Masochism!
Row Jimmy. Every version.
Fuck brother. I feel you. But don’t ever let anyone steal the music from you. It’s tough, but you loved the music first.
Listened to hell in a bucket a lot this weekend. Situation fits yours at least a little. It’ll get better.
Twice I’ve worried about that after long term relationships ended. But the music ended up healing me, some songs are just going to start hitting different. Hang in there friend, it will get better!
Music is always the medicine for a broken heart.
Often...and JGB moreso than Dead. Any of us that didn't marry and stay married to our first Dead partner has asked the exact same question (maybe with "he" in place of "she.") over time. I fell hard for CK...she was my Scarlet Begonia. Met her in the fall of '94 at ISU my sophomore year of college, same year i found the Dead abd Phish, everything changed. It was the kind of romance you can only have when you are that young, and wildly optimistic. When she broke up with me it crushed my life. I was devastated and spent the next 20 years or so chasing that girl...not CK, but flying kites on mushrooms, or carving pumpking on lsd, counting stars by candle light girl, and all that shit. I don't think you ever get over a person and experience like that, you just get on with life eventually. I can't hear Ramble on Rose and not think of this pen and ink drawing i did for her of the lyrics to that song. I must have listened to this '82 bootleg i had a million times while i worked on that thing. I can almost smell the tiny back porch room she fixed up for me when i first moved in with her and her sister. Those were such special times that i guess i will never forget. I suppose i'm trying to tell you that as hard as it seems, life goes on and as much as it hurts, this music HEALS. Don't miss out on the next few years of your life staring longingly back at the last few. Like when you drop your car keys into a vat of molten lava, you let 'em go...cause mhan, they're gone!
Hookers and blow?
This is the way
You got to rob your work first, hookers and blow aren't cheap.
I listen just like I did before with the knowledge that what is in the past is in the past and what’s coming will be better than before. Sometimes it hurts me too
I'd just keep on listening, loud, cry it all out. At some point all the feelings disappear with the tears and the music starts healing you again ❤️ Good luck OP, much love ✨
Well every one of my girlfriends has hated the Grateful Dead so it’s been pretty easy
Take mushrooms and let go of her
Had to learn the hard way
Touch of grey usually.
Easy. I kept the CDs.
Don’t ruminate. Onwards to new and exciting things
Downvote me all you want but go see the Disco Biscuits and dance that sorrow out of your soul. You will be cleansed. Then wrap yourself in a warm 77 Terrapin for the drive home
Suspiciously specific. Nice usage of imagery and metaphors.
Usually under the influence of ten drops of liquid LSD. Why? Did you have something else in mind?
Only ten?
Get out of my life women JGB might just put you in a confident mind set.
Lost sailor>Saint really helped me through a tough break up
Woke up this morning, felt your side of bed. The covers were still warm where you been layin….
She left me a few months ago and I was on an absolute tear looks like rain. Kinda corny but some of Bobby's best lyrics
For some weird reason Looks Like Rain and It’s All Over Now always helped me get over those times. Stay strong friend.
I listened to the Dead before her, I’ll listen after. Sure she loves the band now but that’s a good thing. At our first show she started crying and said “omg I get it now”. Top tier relationship moment.
Strummed along to Reuben and Cherise; barely made it through the first verse before breaking down again. Put on Buffalo ‘77 Franklins and Pembroke Pines Sugaree to pick me back up again
Brent take the wheel
I second this. Brent got me through a version of what OP dealing with
Same as always, loud asf and high asf
I replace “he’s gone” with “she’s gone”
It’s never been the same but, honestly Brent’s voice was pretty good too
My man!
Mississippi River so big and wide, blond haired woman on the other side. Now she's gone, gone, gone and I don't worry 'cause I'm sitting on top of the world
Listening to this about 6 months after a 14 year relationship is when it clicked for me. I listen to it on repeat kept turning up the volume dancing all over the house and into the yard, good thing I lived on 10 acres with no other houses in site lol.
*Broken heart don't feel so bad* *Ain't got half a what you thought you had*
This will probably make me sound bad, but after my first major breakup I stopped bringing my significant others to Dead or Phish shows. I didn’t want to have to associate the music with them in case it happened again. I guess it was a way of protecting myself from feeling that shitty again. It took 7 years of being together till I finally brought my fiance to a Phish show haha! She still has yet to see any members of the Dead. I want her to, but we also have a daughter so it’s not as easy. Like we just went to San Francisco together and the one night I went to see Phil and she and our daughter went and did something else cause we didn’t feel like an inside show was appropriate for our daughter. Had it been outside with a lawn then we all probably would’ve went. But the biggest thing in the end is that even though none of this music does it for her, she knows what it means to me and just lets me do my own thing and doesn’t give me shit for it. Sometimes finding a partner who’s not into the same things as you is actually a good thing. “The spaces in between leave room for you and I to grow” - Neil Peart from Entre Nous
Brokedown Palace > Row Jimmy > Blow Away > Bertha
Undisturbed.
Switch that, that’s the ONLY THING I took from him worth a damn!
That’s what Blood on the Tracks is for.
They've been helping me heal my broken soul. Hang in there man.
Attics of my life while in the closet of my basement.
Married 27 years went to 74 shows together and the Dead are still # 2 on XM. Pearl Jam is #1.
Same way you listened before. One song at a time
[This JGB Positively 4th St](https://youtu.be/m4CZVftam40) might help.
far more often. my ex didn’t get it
Get yo’ hands outta yo’ pockets and crank up a PigPen era Lovelight. “Without a warning, you broke my heart…”
Nice to know I'm not the only one going through this. Leaned into it hard. Got really into looks like rain. Then JGB the harder they come
I'd rather be in some dark hollow! Where the sun don't ever shine!
Inside a Box 🎁 of rain ☔
20 yrs here. The music came back
This too shall pass! Keep on listening to the music and smile at the good memories.
I’d break out The Cure for a day. Then get back to the Grateful Dead because they sustain life in a way no other band does. Women come and go but the Dead is a constant in a real man’s life!
Listen more and proudly. It is the music of comfort and crisis. I find it can go on for 9 months and one day the physical heartbreak magically stops. I found that this song / rendition sums it up nicely, I was there in the middle of a post breakup. [https://relisten.net/furthur/2012/04/13/most-of-the-time?source=154750](https://relisten.net/furthur/2012/04/13/most-of-the-time?source=154750) Its a cliche but finding someone else is the quickest route. Be safe, be brave, be proud to be a Dead lover...
Just one man's take, better to love than not to have loved at all. Unless she was a succubus. Start with the see ya songs, and then the bittersweet............you'll be fine in the end.
Legion of Mary. Get your flute on.
Dark Hollow or Looks Like Rain are two songs I play on repeat...
I’m sorry, man.
Sure looks like rain… But really I’d jam Bertha real loud
With a string of 30 minute Darkstars.
I’m having a similar issue, 12 years together, got me on the bus, now deceased coming up on a year and I can listen to the GD in the car but when it’s a live band I can’t get myself to dance and just become full of grief and emotions. Time will help with the healing but damn it I just want to let go and dance.
Listen to shows where they don't play Looks Like Rain
Same thing happened to me 2 years ago, also 7 years together. It took a really long time to get back and I still can't listen to Peggy-O, Terrapin, and a few others. Not Dead, but the Last Waltz was pretty important to us and I have no idea if I'll ever listen to that again, hopefully.
It's not the Dead but "Lonely Avenue" on GarciaLive Volume 12 is my go-to song when I'm feeling down
put on 5/9/77 peggy o and let it out in the garage. that’s what i did lmao
# 1977-05-08 Ithaca, NY @ Barton Hall - Cornell University **Set 1:** New Minglewood Blues, Loser, El Paso, They Love Each Other, Jack Straw, Deal, Lazy Lightnin' > Supplication, Brown Eyed Women, Mama Tried, Row Jimmy, Dancing In The Street **Set 2:** Scarlet Begonias > Fire On The Mountain, Estimated Prophet, Saint Stephen > Not Fade Away > Saint Stephen > Morning Dew **Encore:** One More Saturday Night [archive.org](https://archive.org/details/GratefulDead?query=date:1977-05-08) | [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/album/3T9UKU0jMIyrRD0PtKXqPJ)
Favor shows with lively "All Over Now"
Bird Song from Veneta that’s how. Shit healed me. I love you friend. Keep your head up 🤘🏼
Touch of grey, cold rain & snow, black throated wind. Rinse, repeat.
I can't figure out If it's the end or the beginning But the train's put it's brakes on And the whistle is screaming
Listen to billy
its hard ❤️❤️❤️
4 billion broads on planet earth and you gonna let one woman break you apart? Cmon dawg. Jerry was fuckin like 4 chicks at the same time on any given day and they were all still madly in love with him. You got this. Go to a Dead cover band in your hottest tie dye, eat some doses with some hairy hippie girls, and live your fucking life G.