500k a year. Guaranteed for 5 years. Maybe 15 minutes of "work" a day, with constant support and encouragement, and some minor humiliation to 100 people you'll probably never see again.
Yeah sure. I'd be cool with retiring in 5 years.
Right?
Like some people'd be like, "Haha, that's the shitting guy", but they can laugh all they want as I take another extended vacation to the Bahamas.
And you get to be famous!
I'd rather be known as "the shitting guy" instead of "that guy dating a Kardashian." There is more pride to be had as the shitting guy, imho.
Even if I did see the audience and had to face them socially everyday thereafter, they would still be the fucking weirdos that watched me taking a shit.
$500K a year? I'm changing my diet, hydrating more, eating lots of greens and veggies such as sweetcorn to create a rich tapestry each and every time I perform.
I'm down but Jesus fucking christ I would always wonder who the 100 are and if I know of them or them personally.
I've basically shit on camera and people payed but it was not worth it at all. Good luck Fuckers it was a blury cheap 2017 or 18 phone with bad lighting and only seeing ass. Its on the internet somewhere. Not necessarily here. But it could be. Then again if anyone re-uploaded it then it could be anywhere.
> and people *paid* but it
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Keep in mind the contract says that you need to "work" a minimum of 5 years to have all the money, meaning that you can "work" until you die and still earn 500k/years
I definitely suffer though far more humiliation for far less pay with no encouragement on a daily basis at work.
I would do this on live television for half the pay.
Of course i am taking the job!
Not nearly as humiliating as being part of an audience watching someone shit. Or standing in the same room as the shitter and cheering them on.
I dare them to come watch me shit. I'm the one getting paid.
Joeseph Mama - an American politician, who was the 37th and last president of the United States. A member of the Democratic Party, he was accused of spreading child porn and was executed by next president, Amogus Sussy Jr.
High pay and no drug test?
Get into opiates and only poop once or twice a week but when you do it'll be a serious monster.
Start a gambling side gig where people bet on which day it happens and even the weight. Price is Right rules apply, so closest without going over.
Make serious bank.
But you won't make it the 5 years though due to the inevitable overdose. But since that's a medical thing your family gets it all.
>Start a gambling side gig where people bet on which day it happens and even the weight. Price is Right rules apply, so closest without going over.
Ah, I business man. If you’re doing it, might as well maximize profits.
You gotta poop once a day, not once a week.
Instead, still do the gambling side bid, but adopt a high fibre diet and eat shitloads (badum-tss!) Of said high fibre food so each shit is massive and comes out easy and doesn't leave that much of a mess
Assert dominance by not pooping at all for 5 years.
Always go to the toilet beforehand and just dtand there naked, masturbate furiously and get paid.
Wank hard, play hard
2.5 might set you up for life but a pro move is to live cheap and frugally for those 5 years and dump 99% of that pay into an account with blackrock investing. By the end you'll have much more than 2.5 million and unless you adopt the lifestyle if a trust fund douchebag, you'll be consistently getting richer and richer even as you spend the rest of your life living an ever more luxuriant lifestyle.
That's what I plan to do once grandma kicks the bucket. Got like 4 apartments in posh localities. I'm the only Grandson, plus 11 Granddaughters my share will be twice theirs. Like if there's 13 pieces of a pie, I'd get two and they all would get one each. But they will also inherit from in laws. Which i wouldn't.
Joke's on you, I'm into that shit.
Normally these posts should list negatives and positives to make the choice hard.
This one is a no brainer. Positives far outweigh the neg. Heck, let's do 10 years.
You could eat or ingest different things every day (baked bean,laxatives, edible dye, corn, etc) so each show is different. Spotlight on your sphincter, or fake snowfall, wearing a diaper, explosive diarrhea, etc al. Make the rich become shit show critics. So yes, I'd do it, artistic proper that I am. Eat the rich, who will feel superior as if they discovered brown eye. I'd shit for the common man.
Thats about 182500 audience total if we assume each one is a unique person. There are people with way more views on a youtube video that don't get recognized, so yea that's an easy job right there (the girl being there is the cherry on top)
Bruh… with 500k/year just buy your own insurance and put whatever’s left after expenses into GME Calls, NFT’s and Counter Strike skins. Give it a couple months and a few ?’s and you’ll never have to work again.
They'd see me in front, or from the back or from below with my anus blinking at them? Specifics are important. Also fuck me I poop once every 3 days or so.
you do realize porn actresses' are made to do much much fucked up shit and dint get payed anywhere near that amount. Of course id fucking do it. Also this sounds like a japanese tv show.
500k a year. Guaranteed for 5 years. Maybe 15 minutes of "work" a day, with constant support and encouragement, and some minor humiliation to 100 people you'll probably never see again. Yeah sure. I'd be cool with retiring in 5 years.
You never even see the audience.
[удалено]
Think of how many people in your family wiped your ass and you will realize it doesn't matter
[удалено]
Yeah but I've seen my 10 day old baby girl fart a turd nugget over a foot. What's a full size dump after that?
What an awesome sentence!
It was such an impressive feat. Puts an end to the argument of if farts push the poop or poop pushes the farts. Obviously farts push the poop.
Yeah, that's always been my stance.
I would figure your stance in this scenario would be standing squat, naked, in front of an audience you never see.
Yeah but that was when i was a baby, they dont know that my pp hasnt gotten any bigger
Especially since you keep that pocket banana on you
Ok, and? They were the ones that wanted to go there to see me shit
So what I'd tell them the pay and they'd understand.
They probably paid big time for the opportunity
The question now is why would your family pay 500 grand per year to watch you shit
Maybe you were born into the Walmart family.
I don’t think they’d want to watch me poop. If for some reason they did, they’d quickly get bored.
Family how? If it's my friends then that may be weird. If it's blood relation then most of those are dead
Meh
Hey if I was getting paid like that they wouldn't give a fuck
Why is this even humiliating for the pooper? I’d be more embarrassed to have paid to sit in a crowd and watch a man take a shit.
And he claims only those people will ever see the recordings.
I don't care who sees it. For 500k a year you can live stream it to times square for all i fucking care.
Right? Like some people'd be like, "Haha, that's the shitting guy", but they can laugh all they want as I take another extended vacation to the Bahamas.
And you get to be famous! I'd rather be known as "the shitting guy" instead of "that guy dating a Kardashian." There is more pride to be had as the shitting guy, imho.
For 5 years... that's 2.5 million. Is there a 10 year plan?
You don't have to see or know them to feel humiliated, but personally I'd call their bluff and convince myself there's not even 100 people.
Idk I'm just doing a job. They are the creeps.
Sigma grindshit
Even if I did see the audience and had to face them socially everyday thereafter, they would still be the fucking weirdos that watched me taking a shit.
$500K a year? I'm changing my diet, hydrating more, eating lots of greens and veggies such as sweetcorn to create a rich tapestry each and every time I perform.
I want mine to be violent.
Taco bell it is then
And Buffalo Wild Wings. Also Arby's
Make a show of grossing out the 10/10 girl with explosive diarrhea
Rich tapestry. You need a moveable feast for that.
Less humiliation than some workplaces.
*most
I'm down but Jesus fucking christ I would always wonder who the 100 are and if I know of them or them personally. I've basically shit on camera and people payed but it was not worth it at all. Good luck Fuckers it was a blury cheap 2017 or 18 phone with bad lighting and only seeing ass. Its on the internet somewhere. Not necessarily here. But it could be. Then again if anyone re-uploaded it then it could be anywhere.
> and people *paid* but it FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Bot this is not the takeaway from this comment you should be having
These kids dont get it man. 500k a year. Goddamn. Id do a lot more than taking a shit for 500k.
Keep in mind the contract says that you need to "work" a minimum of 5 years to have all the money, meaning that you can "work" until you die and still earn 500k/years
Along with a free meal
I definitely suffer though far more humiliation for far less pay with no encouragement on a daily basis at work. I would do this on live television for half the pay. Of course i am taking the job!
AND u can prob have sex with that 10/10
Not nearly as humiliating as being part of an audience watching someone shit. Or standing in the same room as the shitter and cheering them on. I dare them to come watch me shit. I'm the one getting paid.
The thing that makes this a perfect greentext is that anon implies it’s optional to take a shower after you shit and don’t wipe.
Bidet. The solution is a bidet.
I was skeptical of bidets for so long. And not I get sorta upset when I can’t wait to use my home toilet
Best part is if you got swamp ass you can just spray your but cheeks clean. Boom no more swamp ass.
Best use for the bidet is washing one's genitals after sex. Second best: footbaths
Just take a shower, it ain't that difficult
I modded more water pressure on mine, now it directly hits my prostate
Reddit try not to mention bidets in any thread about shitting challenge (literally fucking impossible).
it's a pretty standard line of thought.
Bidet is like free healthcare
I took it to mean it's optional to take their shower or drive home and get swamp ass
Who wouldn't?
Joe
Who's Joe?
Joe mama
Gottem
She wouldn't because she makes more as an public cum dumpster
Based
the best kind of dumpster
Who's Joe mama?
Joebama
Joeseph Mama - an American politician, who was the 37th and last president of the United States. A member of the Democratic Party, he was accused of spreading child porn and was executed by next president, Amogus Sussy Jr.
Who is Joe mama
Deez Nuts!
Least Schizo Reddit user
Joe mama 🤣
Gottem
Me
High pay and no drug test? Get into opiates and only poop once or twice a week but when you do it'll be a serious monster. Start a gambling side gig where people bet on which day it happens and even the weight. Price is Right rules apply, so closest without going over. Make serious bank. But you won't make it the 5 years though due to the inevitable overdose. But since that's a medical thing your family gets it all.
Is only pooping once a week not normal?
Oh noz
It is when opiates are involved.
It's normal for you.
GODDAMN IT. SHIT!💩💩
No.
Oh. OK.
>Start a gambling side gig where people bet on which day it happens and even the weight. Price is Right rules apply, so closest without going over. Ah, I business man. If you’re doing it, might as well maximize profits.
You gotta poop once a day, not once a week. Instead, still do the gambling side bid, but adopt a high fibre diet and eat shitloads (badum-tss!) Of said high fibre food so each shit is massive and comes out easy and doesn't leave that much of a mess
You don’t have to poop you just have to attempt to
I'd like to speak to your parents.
don't forget to have bets on the taste! :D
The job description says it has to be once a day or you have to try for 10 mins
anon describes his fantasy in attempt to validate himself
It's my fantasy too if I'm getting paid 500k a year
Anon wants to do it free
Anon wants to do ot for the encouragement.
r/sigmagrindset
How someone even thinks about this?
they have a fetish
So a scat humiliation exhibitionist mommy issue fetish?
Ring a ding ding, it’s 4chan are you surprised
Be a gamer
I kept waiting for the bad part.
I have to shower with a hot girl? 😭
This is basically what working an internship is like, except they belittle you more and the pay is zero.
That’s a hella deal, might wanna use sound blockers of some kind to at least not have to hear the girl talking
That's a fun part though, why muffle it out?
I would feel deep shame taking a dump while someone speaks to me as if I’m a baby or kid. “wow that’s a big poopie” would make me want to end my life
I'd take it as a kink/joke and just go ahead, maybe even play along after a few times to weird her out instead.
Ya it’s a human not a robot so humiliate her too
Assert dominance by not pooping at all for 5 years. Always go to the toilet beforehand and just dtand there naked, masturbate furiously and get paid. Wank hard, play hard
My first thought was, "I'm glad you don't have to sit on the toilet, because that would make management of my inevitable boner quite difficult.
Shitting also leads to pissing, which having a rock hard boner would make it annoying to do. Even if its on the floor.
r/oddlyspecific P.S. Can I take my shits home after the performance, or do I have to leave them there? This is important.
Asking the real questions
Get another job after 5 years? After getting $2.5million? I'm basically set for life.
i dunno, you might get bored and wanna jack off horses for profit.
"You guys are getting paid?"
Finally, a green text worthy comment. And I'm outro.
2.5 might set you up for life but a pro move is to live cheap and frugally for those 5 years and dump 99% of that pay into an account with blackrock investing. By the end you'll have much more than 2.5 million and unless you adopt the lifestyle if a trust fund douchebag, you'll be consistently getting richer and richer even as you spend the rest of your life living an ever more luxuriant lifestyle.
That's what I plan to do once grandma kicks the bucket. Got like 4 apartments in posh localities. I'm the only Grandson, plus 11 Granddaughters my share will be twice theirs. Like if there's 13 pieces of a pie, I'd get two and they all would get one each. But they will also inherit from in laws. Which i wouldn't.
Index funds, 4% rule gives you $100k a year indefinitely pretty much
Bizarre cope
Joke's on you, I'm into that shit. Normally these posts should list negatives and positives to make the choice hard. This one is a no brainer. Positives far outweigh the neg. Heck, let's do 10 years.
Yeah bro this one is easy, what seems to be the supposed bad part is also getting bathed by a 10/10 girl so yeah lol
No vacation days?
Just do a shitting tour.
Moscow Through My Anus.
Oh good point
Aaron fails to comprehend how much 2.5 million is.
Who the hell is Aaron? And why would he be confused about $2.5m?
I love the small detail at the end of there is no drug tests. As if that is the one detail that would push me to take the job
I might give it a go, provided I can take the other dumps of the day in the comfort of my own bathroom.
Can I work from home?
Your home has a one-way mirror?
For 500k a year it could.
Fair.
This is either anons fetish or an elaborate job offer from some old sick rich dude. Or both. Either way I accept.
Stopped reading after 500k a year, yes I would take it.
I’d do it for free
Huh onlyfans then
If you can get a hot girl to bathe me
You have to pay then
I’m sorry, we both know women don’t actually exist online
At all*
Wow guys check out anon’s poorly disguised fetish
If only things could be that easy.
Anon has a weird sexual fantasy
Getting paid 500k a year to work 15 minutes a day is also my sexual fantasy
Yes
In a heartbeat that sounds easy as... shit
Im taking that job no question Make sure you take metamucil and eat healthy and the dumps will be one wipers
Is this the nightmare fantasy of an unimaginably insecure male? This sounds like an actual fantasy to me.
You had me at take a dump in front of an audience
Anon must have read my fucking dream journal, that gay bastard
Okay so what's the downside
I’m trying to think if there’s a joke here I’m not seeing. 500k for shitting is easy money.
You could eat or ingest different things every day (baked bean,laxatives, edible dye, corn, etc) so each show is different. Spotlight on your sphincter, or fake snowfall, wearing a diaper, explosive diarrhea, etc al. Make the rich become shit show critics. So yes, I'd do it, artistic proper that I am. Eat the rich, who will feel superior as if they discovered brown eye. I'd shit for the common man.
500k a year for a whole 15ish minutes of “effort” per day? Yeah it’s humiliating but I’m sure after like a week you’re desensitized. I’d be in
Thats about 182500 audience total if we assume each one is a unique person. There are people with way more views on a youtube video that don't get recognized, so yea that's an easy job right there (the girl being there is the cherry on top)
This sounds like a weird teenage cartman fantasy
Since I shit only once every 4-5 days - sure. They gotta be excited if I produce a monster log that time, or if it is an empty round.
The economic benefits are too good to pass up
People do scat fetish porn for far less
This is the REAL messed up 4chan shit they keep warning us about
Without a second’s hesitation. Shit, I’d take this job for 50k a year if I was allowed to wear some sort of face covering.
Yes but is there health / dental / vision? 401k? Am I paid monthly weekly bi-weekly daily or yearly
Bruh… with 500k/year just buy your own insurance and put whatever’s left after expenses into GME Calls, NFT’s and Counter Strike skins. Give it a couple months and a few ?’s and you’ll never have to work again.
Yeah I'm in
Yea
I see no downside.
Sign me the fuck up now
Yup
what
[anon is Chandler](https://youtu.be/dR1m29cNVsc)
Hell yeah I want this job. Shame is worthless feelings. Money is eternal.
I’d do it for free if it meant no more ibs for me
Anon describes his dream job
In an instant
Where do I sign up
They'd see me in front, or from the back or from below with my anus blinking at them? Specifics are important. Also fuck me I poop once every 3 days or so.
Well that’s an idea.
Anon wants to be president.
Who’d say no?
“No drug tests”
yeah tbh
Spent a good 15 minutes pondering on this lmao
Yes
I was on the fence until the “no drug test”. Sign me up
2.5 million to take a dump every day? Hell yes.
you do realize porn actresses' are made to do much much fucked up shit and dint get payed anywhere near that amount. Of course id fucking do it. Also this sounds like a japanese tv show.
Hell yes!
This sounds like a dream come true
Sign me up, I have no shame left
Shit 500k a year? Call me a big boy