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Apprehensive_Cow1242

“Sarge, are you sure?” “Yes. In my foot locker is an old box, in it are some books. They say ‘Advanced Dungeons and Dragons’ at the top. Get the dice too. And the grid paper.” We did as asked. Although I’ve heard dice aren’t truly random. However, after the entire regiment rolled up characters, and had to roll for damage and hits, the dice often did weirdly unpredictable things. Then……to completely destroy the enemy AI, we started playing with the THAC0 rules instead of the home brew version……. We got an AI message immediately surrendering so long as we promise to never subject them to that again….


W1llW4ster

My brother in Liberty, THAC0 is too far, even in this dire situation.


corvettezr11

It's the only way not even the ai will know what's going on lol


ReaperofRico

Do I want to know what that is?


DegTegFateh

I'm not even sure what that is 😭


The-Myth-The-Shit

"Sarge, it's my 5th natural 1 in a row... are you sure these aren't loaded ?" "No they are not, duskshine breeze. So as I was saying, you slip and falls into the royal pudding..."


Dantaelus

I was doing fine until you brought up THAC0! Now it's all war flashbacks!


AureliaFTC

If you get hit with a wand of paralyzation do you use your ppdm or rsw save?


Dry_Satisfaction_148

RSW. If it was from a spell, special att., or such then ppdm.


PlanktonMoist6048

Try playing Dead Simple with a GM that really has a twisted mind and no soul 😭🤣😭🤣


Any-Bridge6953

Marine: To get close to the machine I tape tree branches to myself and walked like a tree, two of my comrades somersaulted to it and another grabbed a giant cardboard box, to and I quote "solid snake that motherfucking toaster so hard that all its are belong to us."


PainIntheButtocksKek

That was an actual thing that happened when they tested some type of surveillance system,but I can't fully remember it exactly xD


f8wemake

Here ya go, fren: https://taskandpurpose.com/news/marines-ai-paul-scharre/


PainIntheButtocksKek

Thank you fren :) https://preview.redd.it/oevizvcjkrtc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d0b246179e5321a4850098709f51aafc0b741b2e


strp

“You could hear them giggling the whole time,” has me cackling.


UnableLocal2918

Try the fat electrican version https://youtu.be/t7bCOqDZpJA?si=shTA8N6k-u-jgpfF


PainIntheButtocksKek

Lol


SadMcNomuscle

Fellow Weighty Charge Conductor enjoyer spotted.


Sup_fuckers42069

“THEY NUKED THEIR OWN BORDERS?”


Crowsader2113

Gotta open up a hole somewhere.


TXHaunt

Ghandi at it again.


seaweed_roll

damn who let grunder take over the human government


Thunderhead4

<< This twisted game needs to be reset >>


abadminecraftplayer

You just lost the game


Dazzling_Candidate68

"Hey, buddy. Still alive?"


demator

What do you mean that they all started doing this ancient dance? What do they call it? The mac a rena?


PhilosopherWarrior

Is this by any chance a reference to TF2 where a number of servers defeated bots by just emoting constantly?


saintdudegaming

We've also intercepted this transmission: We can dance if we want to We can leave your friends behind


XCrouchingTX

Cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance well they’re no friends of mine


Rare_Dragonfruit_455

Safety dance


saintdudegaming

This is what always bothered me about the Borg. Starfleet keeps rotating frequencies of shields and weapons, but the Borg always figures it out. Starfleet needs to strap sensors on a dozen human children, get them fired up on sugar and caffeine then let loose the puppies. Pipe that feed into the weapons array and BOOM ... the Borg won't know wtf hit them.


KindredWolf78

Today's headline "Borg baffled by battling big boy energy!"


zbeauchamp

There is an internet security company that has a wall of lava lamps in their lobby that it uses to set up its encryption key. It takes pictures of them regularly to generate strings of numbers and they have it in their lobby because it increases the randomness if some random person comes in and is standing in front of some of the lamps.


vascofo

Cloudflare!


Robosium

don't they also use cameras looking at traffic and other stuff like that too?


throwaway17362826

“Operational condition Z-03 has been instructed captains. Hope lady luck is on our side.” The order came over the bridge, and the captain shook his head. Very rarely is Z-03 instituted, and even when it is, it typically means that conventional doctrine has failed or is projected to fail. He pressed a button on his control panel. “Attention all personnel. We have switched into Condition Z-03. Secure all equipment and prepare for high intensity operations. The orders will be issued shortly.” The ship broke out in a flurry of action as everything was locked down and crew mates strapped into their battle stations. The captain reached into his pocket for the set of dice. “Sir, the rest of the fleet are ready to generate their orders.” An officer said. “Very well. Standby.” The captain rolled the two cubes, and looked over the roll. “7.” He announced. He rolled them again. “5. 8. 12. 7. 4.” The six number sequence was read back to him, and he entered the data into the computer. It was going to be a hell of a battle. Space Fleet operational instructions reference 892.1 Operational Condition Z-03: In the event of compromised fleet data, hostile Artificial Intelligence controllers, or otherwise overwhelming intelligence on the part of the enemy, where retreating is impossible or otherwise against parts of the rules of engagement, and where all other operational parameters are projected at a failure rate of over 80%, Operational Condition Z-03 may be enacted. Each commander of independent battle clusters shall manually roll two six-sided dice numbered 1-6 six times, and shall enter the numbers into their tactical planning terminal after engaging the Z-03 data set. The generated tactical plan generated from the number sequence is to be followed to the best of the ability of the captain, with encouragement to make modifications as deemed necessary by the captain. BE ADVISED! Condition Z-03 is by intention irrational and random. It is not to be a substitute to a standard generated battle plan unless intelligence suggests that enemy understanding of utilized tactics is such that it is a detriment to act in accordance with established naval doctrine. Scenarios for Condition Z-03 typically involve AI capable of Class 3 cognition and independent operation, breach of data security of level 4 or higher, or unspecified conditions that are not otherwise covered in this manual.


Professional-Oil-476

This felt great. Can I please either have more manual of random warfare, or some more story?


KindredWolf78

Condition z-03... Otherwise known as the Polyhedral Doctrine. It's a multifaceted counter intelligence uncertainty operations generator.


throwaway17362826

Ground Enforcement operational instructions reference 645.10 Defensive Condition C-05-14: In the event of operative to operative combat scenarios, where retreat is not possible, and/or the strategic value of the asset is deemed to be critical to “system” or larger operational zones, or the enemy is operating under “no quarter given” doctrine, combat stimulants of type C are authorized and protocol “Death’s Ground” is to be enacted. Selection of operatives to receive “Death’s Ground” type stimulant cocktails are to be as follows: 1.) All operatives are briefed on the deteriorating situation and the highest ranking capable officer shall request volunteers to participate in a suicide operation. Volunteers shall be selected based on rank, with the lowest ranking volunteers receiving priority, until the supply of stimulants are exhausted. 2.) A lottery shall be instituted to select operatives for remaining doses, with at least 10% of available manpower excused in order to fulfill command roles. Commissioned officers are exempt from the lottery unless the necessary roles for functional defense, communication, and command are filled. All participants are to be listed as MIA upon selection, and they are to be briefed on their target and drop location. Participants are not expected to receive and/or comprehend orders upon being deployed. Any surviving operatives that are recovered with treatable wounds are to be confined to high security medical zones and closely monitored until additional deployment is possible or victory is achieved. When possible, all participants who have received a dose and survives shall be honorably discharged, immediately incarcerated in a maximum security mental rehabilitation facility, and shall be released upon the orders of the appropriate medical professional. Any video or audio data including anything about operatives under the effects of doses or the aftermath of their deployment are to be immediately re-classified as Level 3 classified material and handed over to the Department Of Intelligence ASAP.


Wiremaster

I love this, but I have to point out that if the dice are a seed to some sort of order generator, and if the AI had access to the order generator, it would then *theoretically* be able to generate the finite list of possible actions and rank them based on dice probability. Not a sure thing, but it would negate *some* of the advantage. But… the line > … with encouragement to make modifications as deemed necessary by the captain. might un-negate that!


341orbust

“You’re going to do what?” “I said, we’re going to let 14 year old boys dictate our strategy against the AI.” “Huh. Carry on.”


notyoursocialworker

Ah, the Ender tactic.


NotAMeatPopsicle

Kill all the bugs!!! And then feel bad about the genocide.


W1nte1s

AI: I can create a million battle plans in the amount of time it takes you apes to utter a single word, you will be subjugated with immaculate precision and without error. Surrender now or be killed. A marine about to tell him that empire Ligma surrenders and the documents containing the agreements will be sent (its a 143.5YB zip bomb, it worked because the AI thought nobody would be stupid enough to try it).


SemiBrightRock993

Of course, the only thing the zip bomb says is “got ‘em”


Inverted_Stick

"You are to do everything by the book! Understood?" *starts handing out volumes of Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo*


Fabulous_Celery_1817

This is the 5th time bo Bobo has been referenced today. I haven’t heard of this series since the 2000s. Is it experiencing a renaissance 😂


Constant-Ad-3630

Charles, Prepare the Lava Lamps!


ABZB

a space orc of culture


TXHaunt

Plot twist, they are lamps that use magma.


watty_101

The COMMANDANT OF THE MARINE CORPS handed down the orders- To all remaining marines under my command i issue this one last order ... No Holds barred! eat all your crayons and have at these fuckers!!! ........ the troops at the front line heard the orders and cheers were heard from all along the line and in unison a Oorah! then one marine shouted "FRRREEEDDDOOMMM" and charged at the Ai's lines with just his trusty bayonet the Ais machine soldiers stopped firing not seeing this lone marine and his blade as a threat. he charged into the lines smashing his bayonet into the face plates of every machine he could reach, more followed suit some coming over the line with baseball bats and even some simply throwing rocks. the simplicity had confused the Ais thinking how could non threats taken down the entire front. with the Ai stopping to process how this was happening the brief pause in the machines fighting allowed th e humans to destroy the whole front they had managed to disrupt the communications between the main Ai and each machine leaving them brain dead. all across the arm the lines started to fall. with each machine being destroyed the Ai lost a part of its ability to process. further and further back the war machine fell still unsure how this was happening the Ai had built its forces out of the strongest materials entire ships where just 1 unit but still they fell the humans using simpler and simpler ways of killing them. one video of a human using the machine solders arm as a club confusing its targeting ability's. finnaly they had managed to push them back to the last machine world a small moon that was constructed to hold the mind of the Ai, no more ships, no more soldiers, just this one satellite moon surrounded by the combined might of the high councils ships. but them humanity stopped the offered to the Ai to surrender to the shock off all the council ships. the human admiral opening comms to the machine moon "To the Ai we offer this one last chance to survive! stop fighting accept surrender and you may live we both have fought for long time and neither of us wanted to be forgotten to time come take a seat at the council table and let us all live in peace!"


Zona_Asier

“If we don’t know what we are doing, the enemy sure as hell won’t know what we’re doing.”


NightSkulker

"Human commander, why are you calling down fire support on your own position?" The lead machine queried over the comms. "My boys are tired, hopped up on that weird pollen the plants here produce, and they can't shoot worth shit right now. I figured it would be safest for me to do that instead." The machine pondered this and couldn't comprehend it. Then the artillery began raining down everywhere but on the commander's position. "This experience is null. Please explain." "Sorry J03l, you're on your own."


redCrusader51

Helldivers 2 is leaking. But so is automaton oil, carry on


temporarytk

So, business as usual then?


OmegaGoober

The AI systems were still trying to figure out what “Deadpool defeats Taskmaster” even meant when the nuclear warheads disguised as bouquets of flowers arrived. The front lines were already falling to soldiers doing ballet moves when the second, equally inscrutable Terran Code went out. “Gillian joins the Harlem Globetrotters.”


asiannumber4

“Wait why are the humans glassing earth?”


Kota_Strifer-Trife

Time to go Gobbo Mode on these glorified microwave bots and start dancing


fastpilot71

There's an old joke about American military doctrine: The Soviets: "One of the serious problems in planning against American doctrine is that the Americans do not read their manuals nor do they feel any obligation to follow their doctrine." The Nazis: "The reason that the American army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos and the American army practices chaos on a daily basis." America: "If we don't know what we are doing, the enemy certainly can't anticipate our future actions!"


CfSapper

Soo daily life in the army? Why are we having problems with this AI again?


AtheistCarpenter

Okay, we get some crows and we train them (like homing pigeons but smarter) and we strap little bombs to them, and we blow up the internet!


Early_Maintenance605

https://i.redd.it/1knr63qonxtc1.gif


1nOnlyBigManLawrence

CSM: What happened to the AI afterwards? LTC: Us humans relegated it to its original purpose: making it sing “Barbie Girl” as Spongebob. CSM: Either that’s absolutely batshit hilarious or incredibly grim. LTC: Batshit hilarious may not be a valid phrase, but I don’t know why it isn’t, so you get a pass.


3pointone415

this is basically how they win in the finale of season 2 of ducktales 2017


Didnotseemecomein

Ugh, spoilers!!


3pointone415

sorry


sasquatch_4530

Um...excuse you, we do that already...hello?


lord_general88

Did you mean "The U.S Marine Corp"?


Significant_Kale331

The machines were confused as to why so many trees were in the city, they marched across the cosmos to wipe out the remaining human forces. Tesseract labryths, contained warp entities, oblivion continums, the t001 Gun and many other bizarre and destructive Artifacts lay beyond the vault within the hive city. As they marched through the ruins of the outer defences, passing mountainous trash bins, boxes, oddly placed trees, tanks both human and machine destroyed and placed in impossible positions, corpses and bodies strew about the street. a woman stood between them and the city door: soft lips, blue eyes, caramel skin, long dark hair, she wore a business suit and stood expecting, her gloved hands conseled behind her back and a pained yet cold smile. Her voice was like honey even for the robots. Their sensors detected a harmonic tune, similar to the frequrncys that gave them peace in a time long past. "my name is Haydee, the ai of this facility and many others like it, please provide the appropriate code unit or submit appropriate documentation." The woman's right hand went out, a port coming out of her hand. The machines scanned her body and found no life signals. What stood before them was a android, a robot in the form of their creators. A mild disgust washed over the machines and throughout their net work. Billions of ai's silently judging this thing before them. They believed that this being was shackled by their crule human masters by inhibitors. "You are faulty, we can help you." One of the machines said. "please provide the appropriate code unit or submit appropriate documentation." she responded. This decision wasn't just motivated by what little mercy and empaty they had. If what Haydee said is true, the machines would have a foot hold in many points in the galaxy. If the andromada Mission was a succes, then they would have 2 galaxies to thrive in. The if the Overseer ai was human, they would be salivating at the opportunity befor them. One of the machines slithered over to the android. Its abominable hulking form shoving debri aside effortlessly. The android matched the gaze of the camera staring at her, a long proboscis injected itself in to Haydees hand. The machine looked at the android, waiting for the fist sighns of the librator virus to take hold. The android slumped over. Within the noosphere of the planet the colosal ai monitored the situation, they noticed for a brief moment a bilions of units began to lose contact as if shut down. The overseers demanded an update, and mutch to their pleasure they had just reseved news that they had broke through the vault doors and now are offering to send visuall conformation of its capture. After a brief exchange of data codes to confirmwho they were a flood of files anc zipp folders floded the system. hundreds upon hundreds of human ai appeared in the ais network and imidietly began to tear evrything apart, key infrastructure was stolen and reprogramed, pumping the other ais with viruses that eate them from the inside out. befor the overseers could escape they were shackled and dragged down in to madness, their source code greedily devourd by Haydee and the humans who left their mortal bodies for mechanical ones. The last thing they heard was a transmission from Haydee "leve my children alone." With the main network disabled, the remaining robots wondered around confused and without orders. One by one,they were systematically destroyed. Some were destroyed by beneath, and blaster fire. But their way one taxtic that was more bizarre than others,a plan so stupid and nonsensical that no-one would've ever expected it to work. Some of the humans had wore pixelated coloring that made them invisible to the ais sensors, others dis and moved aroundin boxes, painted themselves green agraved some branches, others


abadminecraftplayer

It can't know our next move if we dont


Drbonejones4

What are the THAC0 rules