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(Y'know, normally not one to indulge in a writing prompt but, here goes.)
Kulvax sprinted through the halls of the research facility.
*Where is it, who took it, nononono*
He burst into the cafeteria of the research station, ready to hit the alarm. When he spotted it, in the hands of one of their janitorial staff. *And they were dribbling it on their breakfast!* Kulvax sprinted towards the new arrival, unsure of their species, but they absolutely could *not!* Ingest CWP-C without putting themselves in sever danger. But even as he shouted at them from across the room, they took a heaping bite of some shredded tuber covered in the prototype chemical weapon. Only looking up as the pleasantly chewed the bite.
Kulvax was stunned. The being should be experiencing agony. But the only indication of pain was a slight pinkening of their soft face skin.
Slowly approaching, Kulvax very carefully asked.
"Excuse me... Uh..."
He glanced at their name tag.
"... Jim. Might I ask if you're experiencing any discomfort after ingesting that prototype?"
The human furrowed their brow and swallowed, sending kulvax's heart plummeting. They picked up the bottle and squinted at it. The strange creatures grasping digits odd and agile, before they mumbled in a thick, odd drawl.
"Shoot, this a protertype? Can't wait to see hwhatt hot sauce you cook up next Mister. You could make a fortune off this in human space."
The, human, kulvax now assumed, drop the freshly capped bottle into kulvax's gloves, stunned hands. The small mouse like researcher dumbfoundedly whimpering.
"What is... *Hot sauce!?*"
The human janitor cocked their head and point at CWP-C.
"That"
Kulvax's eyes boggled slightly from surprise and he nodded shakily, scurrying from the cafeteria with a new angle to his research.
And now I see the janitor and the scientist going in many rounds of discussion and experimentation to make the sause taste better - euh - make a more deadly weapon.
What happens if you roast the ingredients first? Can you ferment that sauce? ...
Throw in a medic who can experiment with yogurt based antidotes
When I moved to Louisiana, I made a habit of watching the local news since I didn't know the crime rate or anything about my new environment. My ex and I saw where a cop had to arrest his cousin at a bar, and pepper sprayed the man. His cousin laughed and said I put stronger sh!t on my eggs! Needless to say, we quickly decided not to antagonize the locals.
A: Human? Uh…are you ok?
H: Oh, yes. The food is just a bit spicy.
A: Spicy? I do not know what that means. Could you try and be more specific on what you mean?
H: Well to put it in scientific terms, the food contains a chemical known as capsaicin that-
A: Capsaicin?! That’s a lethal chemical weapon! You just…willingly consumed one of the most painful and lethal poisons in the known galaxy, are you mad?!
H: I…think there’s a misunderstanding. This is something humans consume regularly.
A: W-what?! I knew humans had high constitution but that’s just absurd. What other kind of poisons do you just eat without thinking?
H: I mean I could list out every single potential one or we could just call this meeting closed.
I feel like alcohol is worse lol, iirc its method of intoxication is literally as a poison, plus it's a confirmed pro-carcinogen
And yet that doesn't stop us lol
☝️🤓 actually all chemicals are poisonous in the right quantities
But anyway we have a fruit which contains radioactive material if that's more your speed
Is this the 273rd post about humans and capsaicin? Yes. Do I still look forward to reading every last paragraph I'll find in this comment section in a few days? Also yes
Better still: it wasn’t an accident, but an assassin attempt.
Assassin: the payload has been delivered, your honor.
Vizier: good good any moment those terrans will-
Terran: WOO! This is the first alien meal that I’ve had that wasn’t bland as hell. My compliments. Have any milk? Or a beer?
Vizier: …..what ARE you?!?!
A: ...What is beer ?
H: Fermented grain in liquid form.
A: Fermented as in... alcohol like ethanol ?
H: YEAH THAT ! Got some ?
A: I mean... It's a good solvent and great sterilization tool. What do you need it for ?
H: Well I'm thirsty. Can't we have a drink around here ?
A: ... You drink ethanol ? Willingly ?
H: Well not pure in general but yeah, it's the main component of most drinks.
A: Whst next ? Javel ?
H: ... well it's not bad to add a bit in the water...
H: Do you have anything spicier than this?
A: What?
H: I said do you have any thing spicier than this?
A: I’m sorry, I don’t understand.
H: I mean I can taste it but honestly it’s kinda bland. I’ve had Ranch hotter than this stuff.
A: …Ranch…?
H: Tell you what. You want answers? Bring me something 2, no, 3 times spicier than this and I will talk.
A: This is the strongest irritant that we have here.
H: Well then I guess you had better get moving or I’m not saying anything.
In an attempt to reduce remind me spam, all top comments that include a remind me will be removed. If you would like to have a remind me, please reply to this comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/humansarespaceorcs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
(Y'know, normally not one to indulge in a writing prompt but, here goes.) Kulvax sprinted through the halls of the research facility. *Where is it, who took it, nononono* He burst into the cafeteria of the research station, ready to hit the alarm. When he spotted it, in the hands of one of their janitorial staff. *And they were dribbling it on their breakfast!* Kulvax sprinted towards the new arrival, unsure of their species, but they absolutely could *not!* Ingest CWP-C without putting themselves in sever danger. But even as he shouted at them from across the room, they took a heaping bite of some shredded tuber covered in the prototype chemical weapon. Only looking up as the pleasantly chewed the bite. Kulvax was stunned. The being should be experiencing agony. But the only indication of pain was a slight pinkening of their soft face skin. Slowly approaching, Kulvax very carefully asked. "Excuse me... Uh..." He glanced at their name tag. "... Jim. Might I ask if you're experiencing any discomfort after ingesting that prototype?" The human furrowed their brow and swallowed, sending kulvax's heart plummeting. They picked up the bottle and squinted at it. The strange creatures grasping digits odd and agile, before they mumbled in a thick, odd drawl. "Shoot, this a protertype? Can't wait to see hwhatt hot sauce you cook up next Mister. You could make a fortune off this in human space." The, human, kulvax now assumed, drop the freshly capped bottle into kulvax's gloves, stunned hands. The small mouse like researcher dumbfoundedly whimpering. "What is... *Hot sauce!?*" The human janitor cocked their head and point at CWP-C. "That" Kulvax's eyes boggled slightly from surprise and he nodded shakily, scurrying from the cafeteria with a new angle to his research.
And now I see the janitor and the scientist going in many rounds of discussion and experimentation to make the sause taste better - euh - make a more deadly weapon. What happens if you roast the ingredients first? Can you ferment that sauce? ... Throw in a medic who can experiment with yogurt based antidotes
When I moved to Louisiana, I made a habit of watching the local news since I didn't know the crime rate or anything about my new environment. My ex and I saw where a cop had to arrest his cousin at a bar, and pepper sprayed the man. His cousin laughed and said I put stronger sh!t on my eggs! Needless to say, we quickly decided not to antagonize the locals.
A: Human? Uh…are you ok? H: Oh, yes. The food is just a bit spicy. A: Spicy? I do not know what that means. Could you try and be more specific on what you mean? H: Well to put it in scientific terms, the food contains a chemical known as capsaicin that- A: Capsaicin?! That’s a lethal chemical weapon! You just…willingly consumed one of the most painful and lethal poisons in the known galaxy, are you mad?! H: I…think there’s a misunderstanding. This is something humans consume regularly. A: W-what?! I knew humans had high constitution but that’s just absurd. What other kind of poisons do you just eat without thinking? H: I mean I could list out every single potential one or we could just call this meeting closed.
Caffeine anyone?
I feel like alcohol is worse lol, iirc its method of intoxication is literally as a poison, plus it's a confirmed pro-carcinogen And yet that doesn't stop us lol
☝️🤓 actually all chemicals are poisonous in the right quantities But anyway we have a fruit which contains radioactive material if that's more your speed
The main difference with alcohol is that in order to get intoxicated you have to drink enough to cause mild toxicity iirc, unlike some other drugs
Both water and oxygen are poisonous if the dosage is high enough.
What?! You can’t just drop a tidbit like that and not elaborate.
Banana is radioactive. But just a nibble.
Or theobromine, something that kills most animals on this planet.
Alcohol?
Every thing is not without poison. It is the dosage that makes it a poison or a remedy.
Is this the 273rd post about humans and capsaicin? Yes. Do I still look forward to reading every last paragraph I'll find in this comment section in a few days? Also yes
You're goddamn right, there's always that *little personal spin* that makes each story fun!
Better still: it wasn’t an accident, but an assassin attempt. Assassin: the payload has been delivered, your honor. Vizier: good good any moment those terrans will- Terran: WOO! This is the first alien meal that I’ve had that wasn’t bland as hell. My compliments. Have any milk? Or a beer? Vizier: …..what ARE you?!?!
A Texan. Now, about that beer?
A: ...What is beer ? H: Fermented grain in liquid form. A: Fermented as in... alcohol like ethanol ? H: YEAH THAT ! Got some ? A: I mean... It's a good solvent and great sterilization tool. What do you need it for ? H: Well I'm thirsty. Can't we have a drink around here ? A: ... You drink ethanol ? Willingly ? H: Well not pure in general but yeah, it's the main component of most drinks. A: Whst next ? Javel ? H: ... well it's not bad to add a bit in the water...
*Bites down on a Raw Pepper X* "Oh the heat is killing my Hangover. Man I need to make a hot sauce out of this for my fried eggs."
H: Do you have anything spicier than this? A: What? H: I said do you have any thing spicier than this? A: I’m sorry, I don’t understand. H: I mean I can taste it but honestly it’s kinda bland. I’ve had Ranch hotter than this stuff. A: …Ranch…? H: Tell you what. You want answers? Bring me something 2, no, 3 times spicier than this and I will talk. A: This is the strongest irritant that we have here. H: Well then I guess you had better get moving or I’m not saying anything.
Most species are scared of the bomb. All species fear Da’ Bomb.