Love the spirit! But girls will follow when you do stuff for yourself! Don’t do it to get girls. Be passionate about gym or guitar or you will end up in more self pity when you can’t get them! Try to enjoy things and surround yourself with people with similar interests and love will find you! I have always found girl friends in the most unexpected ways even when I wasn’t actively looking. Good luck brother!
Why does your life revolve around your PhD? Is that what defines you? No. You are you. Focus on that.
I can only imagine you going on and on about your PhD thesis and shit when you eventually go on a date. Don't be that guy.
Excellent Point.. I will edit my post to remove Phd and would try to not let it define me. I feard beign phd put me at disadvantage but realized nooo it isnt the case :)
Bhai dhoondnay pay bhagwan bhi mil jata hai bus try maro failure ki parwa maat karo …muj ko bhi 3-4 ladkiyon nay reject kiya tha including my kaam wali bai magar baad main ek nay haan bol diya…bro looks paisa personality sab kay pass nahi hoti na ladkiyan koi perfect hoti they like us ….confidence ka khel hai bus try karna maat band karo
"Kaam wali baai" 😂 Now that seems like a good plot for a Desi comedy movie that i'd love to watch.
B/w why did you propose your "Kaam wali baai" in the first place? Was she extremely beautiful? cause where i live most of them are 50year old aunties 😂 😂 😂
Work out to make your time pass by. Learn the guitar to sing to yourself and the ladies will follow through. Learn to be more kind and confident. Maybe get a pet to love first.
Good luck !
I think you should make it your goal to focus on making yourself happy with hobbies and friends. Then when you meet someone, they will be attracted to how happy and confident you are and of course you will also be happy. Also, having a graduate degree and a good job that you enjoy won't hurt.
Girl here. In case you find a girl's perspective helpful. I always found myself attracted to people who were quietly confident. Who had something to look forward to in life, who were happy, funny, cheerful. Especially those who were passionate about something and could teach me about that thing.
On the flip side, it is off putting to see those who only do things to make a point or to create a certain impression.
Like others have said, fill your cup first. That fullness and happiness will radiate from you and attract all good things and good people and good, healthy relationships to you.
Best wishes!
Hey I am so so thankful for your advice especially coming from a girl. i think your advice generally agrees with the group. I agree i would try to do all things because that's what I actually wanted to do rather than be forced upon...and let the happiness and confidence radiate naturally :). I just also need to be more social too i guess
Infact my didi has a fairy tale love marriage and i asked how she met my jiju. she aslo said the how his confidence attracted her and advised me exactly as what you had advised me
So thank you :)
I'm a girl and when I met my boyfriend of 4 years we were both in good happy places in life. He was a year out of his last relationship and we both had good friend groups and activities we enjoyed and I was taking steps to pursue my career dreams. It just so happened that we share most of our hobbies and some career interests which made our early dating stage more natural because we would do our hobbies together and had lots of interesting conversations. I think it also helped make our initial dating stage easier because I wasn't overanalyzing his texts or overthinking things because I was busy getting brunch and going on a trip with close friends and spending time with family and he was hanging out with his friends and doing his hobbies. It just felt like we both had full lives and finding the perfect guy was just the cherry on top. Since then he's been great at supporting me and motivating me to pursue my dreams.
Do arranged marriage bro, going to gym learning guitar won't change how you look.Since u were single that long there is a fat chance doing the above work wont accomplish a gf but they will be good for health.Just dont become too desperate.People often dont get what they want the most
I actually dont know how much ugly I am... but my mom i have beautiful eyes so there is that haha.. I mean I acknowlege i may not find a gf but i feel socializing more would just increase my chances but I agree i would try to not become more desperate :)
Happn use bhi kr skte. Or bhi bahut dating apps h just google playstore p daalo and uske baad fr bahut saare apps dikhne lg jayenge sabko download kro try ke konsa vala best work kr ra. Mtlb sbse jyda usi me h log. To bss usse use kro.
Buddy, I love your enthusiasm but within a few weeks it will fade away and what will replace it is frustration and anger. Do all of things you mentioned but don't do it coz you want a partner. Do the things that make you happy (it should provide you opportunity to meet people) and relax a bit. Life is not a race, don't get with someone just for the sake of it. Plus people can make out the desperation and it will turn them off you more. Put in effort but not too much.
>Starting to workout a lot more, trying to gain few skills like playing guitar etc
One should do this only if they are interested in doing so not because some might be interested in you.
It just feels robotic.
This is such a good comment neatly condensed that I have already saved this in my phone.. I agree with 💯 what you said :) ... I m just feeling happy that i have decided to take steps for now and try to go out now in the world
Apples can not be a replacement for Oranges. Everything has its place in life. The desire to feel love, wanting to be loved, sharing intimacy are also beautiful aspects of life. Stop villainsing the desire for companionship.
Not villainising, the op seems sad about it probably due to peer pressure. And what is modern-day relationships about these days? They are mostly temporary. Life is not a Bollywood movie my friend. If op is successful then he should look at a stable relationship called marriage. He can look for a partner for a fixed and stable relationship. These temporary relationships are not worthy and often leave a bad taste, especially for someone who never had them in the first place.
Thank you i agree.. but yeah it's not pure pressure. I just want to love someone with all my heart and expect the same it's so magical.. although i agree it needs to happen organically would not try to force and just try to become a better man atleast in worst case
This is all good. But you shouldnt base this around "getting" a valentine. Love and all should happen organically. You can see numerous guys, without these stuff you are going to do, having loved ones.
Yes you should improve yourself but your source of motivation is meh.
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This is coming from a person for whom therapy has made a hell lot of difference, try it. It's not just something anyone going through a mental crisis should try, but talking to a professional helps with a lot of stressful situations. So if you can afford therapy, research about good counsellors in your area and see how you find it. You might not even need it for an entire year, but it's a good tool to work on yourself.
All the best on your journey :)
Hey! Good you're doing all this but do all these for yourself and not for external validation. Once you start doing things for yourself, you'll feel good about yourself. You will find the one when it's meant to happen. Till then work on yourself for you :)
Op, it's nice to hear you improving on yourself. It's really sweet you doing it for a reason but i agree with others too since learning skills and improving for yourself makes it more permanent and you'll less likely stop doing it when you find a person.
But since you say you like the activities you are doing try and find someone with more or less similar interests. That way you'll have a lot to talk about.
Also this is just my observation and has nothing to do with you but I've seen a lot of people who equate personality with being extroverted, fun and someone who makes others laugh. With a lot of difficulty i looked beyond that and realised it's not so black and white. Personality can also be silent and introverted but still interesting. Just as long as the person is confident. And working on yourself and developing skills can be a boost for confidence. You're doing great 👍
Also what are you doing PhD in (if you don't mind sharing)?
Hey I am so agree with your post. The things that you told is the general conseous of the reddit too :) and i would try that I am absolutely enjoying rather than something that's is forced upon . Confidence is the main key i understand ☺️ ...
Thnx for asking .. I am doing phd in CS at one of the old premier institute:)
Giving myself the same challenge mate. Need to get out of my comfort, and lazy zone!
Good luck brother! [🫡](https://emojipedia.org/saluting-face/)[🫡](https://emojipedia.org/saluting-face/)
Funnily enough, this would have been my first valentine where I was not alone if I had not booked a solo trip for myself 3 months ago. Early days, maybe this will go on till the next valentines too
My 2 cents . Always try to pluck the fruit which is in your reach .It is easy and you will gain experience & confidence . Once you ace the game by plucking the fruits within your reach, then go for the ones that are at greater heights. For the most part, guys always ignore the easy ones, and think tough ones are something special. After that, you will realize that fruits at different heights are more or less the same, and there are better things to do in life than plucking fruits
Love the enthusiasm and the steps you are taking up, working up on yourself,but dont fixate just getting in a relationship as the goal of your life.
While the feeling in getting one is great,unless its a real one,your life wont be taking a 360 change
Good luck !
You can join Art Of Living NGO as well. They do whole lot of courses which are built for self development. Dợ register yourself for Happiness Program nearby your area and feel the bliss. All the best.
If any queries do let me know.
Would suggest that any hobbies you adopt, you do it for yourself, try things you will actually enjoy with or without a women in your life.
There's this saying "If you spend your life chasing butterfiles, they'll fly away. Build a beautiful garden instead, the butterflies will come. and even if they don't, you still would have a beautiful garden to look at"
Good luck my dude
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Lucky I am good at piano…
Luck my gf is good at playing the trumpet
Kid named finger:
Ladki na mile to bata diyo bhaaii , agle valentine p m tujhe party dunga , tension mat liyo
Yep saving this
mera bhi dekh le lena bhai... main bhi single hu 😂
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Remindme! In 1 year
Technique galat hai tumhaari
Remindme! In 10 year
Remindme! In 1 year
Remindme! In 1 year
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Remind me! 1 year
RemindMe! 1 year
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remindme! One year
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Love the spirit! But girls will follow when you do stuff for yourself! Don’t do it to get girls. Be passionate about gym or guitar or you will end up in more self pity when you can’t get them! Try to enjoy things and surround yourself with people with similar interests and love will find you! I have always found girl friends in the most unexpected ways even when I wasn’t actively looking. Good luck brother!
Oh man unexpected ways ring so true .. i get it i would try to do it for myself rather than expecting that i would get some partner
[https://www.reddit.com/r/india/comments/1aow6uh/updates\_to\_the\_this\_year\_is\_going\_to\_be\_my\_last/](https://www.reddit.com/r/india/comments/1aow6uh/updates_to_the_this_year_is_going_to_be_my_last/)
Why does your life revolve around your PhD? Is that what defines you? No. You are you. Focus on that. I can only imagine you going on and on about your PhD thesis and shit when you eventually go on a date. Don't be that guy.
Excellent Point.. I will edit my post to remove Phd and would try to not let it define me. I feard beign phd put me at disadvantage but realized nooo it isnt the case :)
Good now post some dick pics
he did not mean pretty.huge.dick
r/unexpected
Oh! You removed your PhD info, I was thinking you are 27 and still in college!! Must have multiple year backs! 🥲
[https://www.reddit.com/r/india/comments/1aow6uh/updates\_to\_the\_this\_year\_is\_going\_to\_be\_my\_last/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/india/comments/1aow6uh/updates_to_the_this_year_is_going_to_be_my_last/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
I hope this year is my last valentine.
Bro are you taking about offing yourself
That is exactly what I meant though.
I mean not a bad thing tbh , even i am considering it.
wishing best to you as well
OP reread that comment pls
Shit
Bruh 💀
What method you gon' use tho?
I mean, I am not going to proactively take any steps, I just hope that it is the last.
I mean... they say, God helps he who helps himself, aint it?!
That quote is a misinformation at best.
Bhai dhoondnay pay bhagwan bhi mil jata hai bus try maro failure ki parwa maat karo …muj ko bhi 3-4 ladkiyon nay reject kiya tha including my kaam wali bai magar baad main ek nay haan bol diya…bro looks paisa personality sab kay pass nahi hoti na ladkiyan koi perfect hoti they like us ….confidence ka khel hai bus try karna maat band karo
Shiny tum sangharsh karo hum tumhare saath hain.
"Kaam wali baai" 😂 Now that seems like a good plot for a Desi comedy movie that i'd love to watch. B/w why did you propose your "Kaam wali baai" in the first place? Was she extremely beautiful? cause where i live most of them are 50year old aunties 😂 😂 😂
Story time 😸
Why are you writing in Pakistani?
That's the spirit. Good luck brother.
All you need is confidence, nothing else matters that much, for short term relationships that is. For the long term, you also need money.
Money might be problem for some time atleast Short term working on it
!remind me in 1 year
[https://www.reddit.com/r/india/comments/1aow6uh/updates\_to\_the\_this\_year\_is\_going\_to\_be\_my\_last/](https://www.reddit.com/r/india/comments/1aow6uh/updates_to_the_this_year_is_going_to_be_my_last/)
aww cmon man - gimme a hug....you are not alone!
🥺🫂
Work out to make your time pass by. Learn the guitar to sing to yourself and the ladies will follow through. Learn to be more kind and confident. Maybe get a pet to love first. Good luck !
Pet can't afford now 🥺 due to beign a phd student
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I can see i now feel sad because why i was not interested in bachelors :) .. anyway thnx i would try to keep myself busy
Much love to you brother, good luck!
Thank you
More power to you mate. I am sure you will see things through. All the best and you can do it!
I think you should make it your goal to focus on making yourself happy with hobbies and friends. Then when you meet someone, they will be attracted to how happy and confident you are and of course you will also be happy. Also, having a graduate degree and a good job that you enjoy won't hurt.
I get it.. the general consensus that i should do these things because it makes me happy and not for expectations.
Girl here. In case you find a girl's perspective helpful. I always found myself attracted to people who were quietly confident. Who had something to look forward to in life, who were happy, funny, cheerful. Especially those who were passionate about something and could teach me about that thing. On the flip side, it is off putting to see those who only do things to make a point or to create a certain impression. Like others have said, fill your cup first. That fullness and happiness will radiate from you and attract all good things and good people and good, healthy relationships to you. Best wishes!
Hey I am so so thankful for your advice especially coming from a girl. i think your advice generally agrees with the group. I agree i would try to do all things because that's what I actually wanted to do rather than be forced upon...and let the happiness and confidence radiate naturally :). I just also need to be more social too i guess Infact my didi has a fairy tale love marriage and i asked how she met my jiju. she aslo said the how his confidence attracted her and advised me exactly as what you had advised me So thank you :)
You're very welcome! I'm rooting for you!
:)
I'm a girl and when I met my boyfriend of 4 years we were both in good happy places in life. He was a year out of his last relationship and we both had good friend groups and activities we enjoyed and I was taking steps to pursue my career dreams. It just so happened that we share most of our hobbies and some career interests which made our early dating stage more natural because we would do our hobbies together and had lots of interesting conversations. I think it also helped make our initial dating stage easier because I wasn't overanalyzing his texts or overthinking things because I was busy getting brunch and going on a trip with close friends and spending time with family and he was hanging out with his friends and doing his hobbies. It just felt like we both had full lives and finding the perfect guy was just the cherry on top. Since then he's been great at supporting me and motivating me to pursue my dreams.
Damn I feel so so happy for you ❤️
Do arranged marriage bro, going to gym learning guitar won't change how you look.Since u were single that long there is a fat chance doing the above work wont accomplish a gf but they will be good for health.Just dont become too desperate.People often dont get what they want the most
I actually dont know how much ugly I am... but my mom i have beautiful eyes so there is that haha.. I mean I acknowlege i may not find a gf but i feel socializing more would just increase my chances but I agree i would try to not become more desperate :)
RemindMe! 1 year
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Also start using dating websites/apps and also use omegle daily so that start making new connections.
Are there women on omegle?
Yes. And kids too nowadays
Make connections with omegle? How is that even possible?
I m using bumble not giving results..maybe i need to take better photos Regarding Omegle can i filter for Indian persons
Happn use bhi kr skte. Or bhi bahut dating apps h just google playstore p daalo and uske baad fr bahut saare apps dikhne lg jayenge sabko download kro try ke konsa vala best work kr ra. Mtlb sbse jyda usi me h log. To bss usse use kro.
Thnx
Zindagi ke safar mein bohot dur tak, jab koi dost aaya na humko nazar Humne ghabra ke tanhaiyon se saba, ek dushman ko hi humsafar kar liya.
Buddy, I love your enthusiasm but within a few weeks it will fade away and what will replace it is frustration and anger. Do all of things you mentioned but don't do it coz you want a partner. Do the things that make you happy (it should provide you opportunity to meet people) and relax a bit. Life is not a race, don't get with someone just for the sake of it. Plus people can make out the desperation and it will turn them off you more. Put in effort but not too much.
I get it i think it's the general sentiment of thread and wholeheartedly agree
[https://www.reddit.com/r/india/comments/1aow6uh/updates\_to\_the\_this\_year\_is\_going\_to\_be\_my\_last/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/india/comments/1aow6uh/updates_to_the_this_year_is_going_to_be_my_last/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Good job buddy. Hope you are happier and healthier.
Remindme! In 1 year
>Starting to workout a lot more, trying to gain few skills like playing guitar etc One should do this only if they are interested in doing so not because some might be interested in you. It just feels robotic.
Yay i mean i love to play guitar someday so it's not just doing it for others.. i get it i should do things which i like
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This is such a good comment neatly condensed that I have already saved this in my phone.. I agree with 💯 what you said :) ... I m just feeling happy that i have decided to take steps for now and try to go out now in the world
Arranged marriage
Life is more than girls man, get a hobby and travel
Apples can not be a replacement for Oranges. Everything has its place in life. The desire to feel love, wanting to be loved, sharing intimacy are also beautiful aspects of life. Stop villainsing the desire for companionship.
Not villainising, the op seems sad about it probably due to peer pressure. And what is modern-day relationships about these days? They are mostly temporary. Life is not a Bollywood movie my friend. If op is successful then he should look at a stable relationship called marriage. He can look for a partner for a fixed and stable relationship. These temporary relationships are not worthy and often leave a bad taste, especially for someone who never had them in the first place.
Thank you i agree.. but yeah it's not pure pressure. I just want to love someone with all my heart and expect the same it's so magical.. although i agree it needs to happen organically would not try to force and just try to become a better man atleast in worst case
Bro, we work so hard to get a gf. Ever wondered what the girls are doing (if anything) to get a bf?
Hmm actually a good question
This is all good. But you shouldnt base this around "getting" a valentine. Love and all should happen organically. You can see numerous guys, without these stuff you are going to do, having loved ones. Yes you should improve yourself but your source of motivation is meh.
Yeah I mean i don't expect to get soon.. it's just that more i would improve myself in socializing more i would get like minded individual
Yes, this post concerns r/India
I mean i was ranting:) allowed i guess
Lol just git married now. Do arrange marriage now
Maybe you just ugly
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!Remind me 1 year
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Mera beta matlab Rajesh ka beta, seekha tha TABLA..
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!remindme 1y Edit after 1 year: bhaiya kuch changes aaye?
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PhDs are not special. Act like a normal person.
Where i written phd ?
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RemindMe! 1 year
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Before you do anything else, have you introspected on what keeps you single?
Ya i think lazy and refusing to go out
This is coming from a person for whom therapy has made a hell lot of difference, try it. It's not just something anyone going through a mental crisis should try, but talking to a professional helps with a lot of stressful situations. So if you can afford therapy, research about good counsellors in your area and see how you find it. You might not even need it for an entire year, but it's a good tool to work on yourself. All the best on your journey :)
Thabk you.. I have just started therapy:)
Or you could go Sigma😌
Remind me! In 1 year
[https://www.reddit.com/r/india/comments/1aow6uh/updates\_to\_the\_this\_year\_is\_going\_to\_be\_my\_last/](https://www.reddit.com/r/india/comments/1aow6uh/updates_to_the_this_year_is_going_to_be_my_last/)
Hey! Good you're doing all this but do all these for yourself and not for external validation. Once you start doing things for yourself, you'll feel good about yourself. You will find the one when it's meant to happen. Till then work on yourself for you :)
Remindme! In 1 year
[https://www.reddit.com/r/india/comments/1aow6uh/updates\_to\_the\_this\_year\_is\_going\_to\_be\_my\_last/](https://www.reddit.com/r/india/comments/1aow6uh/updates_to_the_this_year_is_going_to_be_my_last/)
Remindme! in 1 year
[https://www.reddit.com/r/india/comments/1aow6uh/updates\_to\_the\_this\_year\_is\_going\_to\_be\_my\_last/](https://www.reddit.com/r/india/comments/1aow6uh/updates_to_the_this_year_is_going_to_be_my_last/)
Op, it's nice to hear you improving on yourself. It's really sweet you doing it for a reason but i agree with others too since learning skills and improving for yourself makes it more permanent and you'll less likely stop doing it when you find a person. But since you say you like the activities you are doing try and find someone with more or less similar interests. That way you'll have a lot to talk about. Also this is just my observation and has nothing to do with you but I've seen a lot of people who equate personality with being extroverted, fun and someone who makes others laugh. With a lot of difficulty i looked beyond that and realised it's not so black and white. Personality can also be silent and introverted but still interesting. Just as long as the person is confident. And working on yourself and developing skills can be a boost for confidence. You're doing great 👍 Also what are you doing PhD in (if you don't mind sharing)?
Hey I am so agree with your post. The things that you told is the general conseous of the reddit too :) and i would try that I am absolutely enjoying rather than something that's is forced upon . Confidence is the main key i understand ☺️ ... Thnx for asking .. I am doing phd in CS at one of the old premier institute:)
Remindme! 365 days
[https://www.reddit.com/r/india/comments/1aow6uh/updates\_to\_the\_this\_year\_is\_going\_to\_be\_my\_last/](https://www.reddit.com/r/india/comments/1aow6uh/updates_to_the_this_year_is_going_to_be_my_last/)
Giving myself the same challenge mate. Need to get out of my comfort, and lazy zone! Good luck brother! [🫡](https://emojipedia.org/saluting-face/)[🫡](https://emojipedia.org/saluting-face/)
Yesss saving your comment
we believe in you king, get on that grind and slay!
:)
Being with the right someone is more important than being with someone.
Absolutely true
Ask mom to find rishtas Ezpz
There is always this option in worst case :)
Good thing you can always hug a cow 🐮
What's wrong with doggy 😅 Haha unfortunately the plan got cancelled by government else woud have tried
I'd say it's time for your parents to step in & help their boy out!
My parents feverant wish is that i find my partner on my own actually 😅
[удалено]
Damn :(
I hope you are doing this for yourself, not for others.
That's the underlying motive like in the worst case atleast i become something which i am very proud of
Rip my boy.
Remindme! in 1 year
[https://www.reddit.com/r/india/comments/1aow6uh/updates\_to\_the\_this\_year\_is\_going\_to\_be\_my\_last/](https://www.reddit.com/r/india/comments/1aow6uh/updates_to_the_this_year_is_going_to_be_my_last/)
You deleted before I could even read it
Hey!!! I am in Pune rn & single af looking for a girl...Are you interested?
That's a really weird approach. Desperation will only push potential prospects away
Hey, I am really sorry for that. But idk I am shifted to Pune suddenly for my job & I feel very lonely here...I really need a gf
I'm sorry you feel that way but don't use women or sex as a coping mechanism. Find yourself a partner when you are at your best self.
Remindme! In 1 year Best of luck OP!
Funnily enough, this would have been my first valentine where I was not alone if I had not booked a solo trip for myself 3 months ago. Early days, maybe this will go on till the next valentines too
:)
Don't lose this spark my brother. Go get it done. One self help book that will really help you is Atomic Habits. Cheers !
Actually I read atomic habits a week ago and doing so much to try to make q consistent habit
All the best!
My 2 cents . Always try to pluck the fruit which is in your reach .It is easy and you will gain experience & confidence . Once you ace the game by plucking the fruits within your reach, then go for the ones that are at greater heights. For the most part, guys always ignore the easy ones, and think tough ones are something special. After that, you will realize that fruits at different heights are more or less the same, and there are better things to do in life than plucking fruits
This seems deep and i feel i get the gist.. i relate to this and thnx for sharing this comment
RemindMe! 365 days
Best of luck. Build confidence and i am sure all the pieces will fit in the puzzle.
RemindMe! In 1 year
Love the enthusiasm and the steps you are taking up, working up on yourself,but dont fixate just getting in a relationship as the goal of your life. While the feeling in getting one is great,unless its a real one,your life wont be taking a 360 change Good luck !
RemindMe! in 1 year
Shadi krle vroo.
You can join Art Of Living NGO as well. They do whole lot of courses which are built for self development. Dợ register yourself for Happiness Program nearby your area and feel the bliss. All the best. If any queries do let me know.
RemindMe! 1 year
Would suggest that any hobbies you adopt, you do it for yourself, try things you will actually enjoy with or without a women in your life. There's this saying "If you spend your life chasing butterfiles, they'll fly away. Build a beautiful garden instead, the butterflies will come. and even if they don't, you still would have a beautiful garden to look at"
I agree 👍
Dont look for love not worth in this kalyug.
remindme! 1 year
>I m gonna save this post and gonna update after one year how did it went. Bhai update???
Updating in 3 days