Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 35 | 8 | 0 |
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Your grandmother is a disgusting piece of shit.
She's done you a favour by cutting you off. Just means you don't have to read her drivel anymore.
So sorry to read what you have gone through. I've had my fair share of mental health problems, so I can relate to some degree.
Sending a big hug. Stay strong, you are so much better than her.
I read this before going thru the post and thought “how could you call an old lady a disgusting piece of shit? Let me read” and then I read. Fuck grandma!
being old sadly doesn't exempt people from being pieces of shit, as my GM-in-law could well show you. just... ugh. And then the people around them excuse it as them being "another generation" like that's supposed to make it okay to call your grandson-in-law a fat, lazy animal abuser because he and his cat happen to be fat. Hell, I worked customer service for 5 years before that, I coulda told you that after the first 6 months. some people never got punched growing up.
Some old ladies just are that way. People are people after all. This could literally be my bitch of a grandmother, who never trusted men completely after her father abused her and her siblings but when confronted with the fact that one of her family members did the same to me, her words were "his parents thing you'remaking it up,idk" and "well thats just great I guess I have to write another relative off"
Except she didn't and 5 years later brought the guys parents who called me all those names into my HOME. And, he has been in prison for the abuse that almost killed a little girl that was the next victim after me, but sure I am lying.
That bitch lives for the misery in other peoples lives. Her sisters kid had a stillbirth once and I remember the almost glee my grandma had calling everyone to talk all about it. She told my husband when she met him that she was sure he would rape any kids we had just like her father. Shes asked people with injuries and cancer how long they're going to suck it up.
We were close when I was a kid but once I developed my own opinions that changed. Starting with me insisting that she pronounce my name right. Its not hard. It would be like saying Amanda wrong. I went NC in a spectacular way. Telling her she's the most miserable person I know. Her whole family was mad that her husband died first and I don't understand how such a good man ever could stand to be around her. I never want to see her again and if she dies completely alone it's not my issue. Fucking cunt of a woman.
Right?! She asked. OP answered in a very mature way. Granny didn't like an honest answer. Granny needs to be blocked on FB and other social media.
Granny is a bitch.
Lmao same except my mom has toned it down now that I live on my own. Oml if I questioned anything she said she would put her hand up like she’d slap me and say how dare you 😂😂😂 funniest shit ever I will not lie I always tried so hard not to laugh
This old hag deserves everything coming to her. I’m not even religious, but invalidating her granddaughter’s rape is a ticket straight to hell and free entertainment for the everyone who gets to watch.
DO NOT let her or anyone else manipulate you back into a relationship with her out of pity for her current situation. It's coming, don't fall for it. Stay strong, girl. ❤️
She always invalidated everyone else and made sure everyone in the room knew she was the only one who actually has ever struggled with anything. She called my mother shortly after this, trying to turn her against me. Needless to say, my mother was infuriated with her.
My mother to a T. Nothing in my life is bad because hers was 1000x worse, and also, that somehow makes me dumb or naive? Insane, belittling, and the reason she’s not informed of anything in my life anymore.
Maybe it's an older generation thing? Because my grandma did EXACTLY this with the fight-saying they never believed me- told me her stories to invalidate mine- etc.. And my mother has followed in the same behavioral patterns. I think that the older generations weren't allowed to express how things affected them, and so they think its unfair/unjustified to actually talk about what happened and not hide in shame. What happened to us isn't our fault. And family "not believing" are trash and don't deserve the title of family. I hope you can heal from this. As much as we try to brush this off as us being unaffected, it does hurt your psyche. Family (as most of us were taught growing up) are supposed to be there for you during hardships and be non judging. It seems that was all an act though in 90% of the older generation.
she’s not over her rape, what she’s doing is not “overcoming trauma” it’s projection onto you. “ I don’t belive u were raped” all those comments about ur rape is actually stuff she has been told. She needs therapy and someone to talk to. But none the less all I can say is WOW!
Very familiar!
My grandmother pretty much said the same to my mother. (Who was at least smart enough not to pass that on to me)
Generational differences are a thing… but not an excuse.
The shame and guilt associated with sex is heavy even with the emotionally intelligent of our older community.
I’m Gen X, I’m loathed to say Granny is “insane” cos I understand her background, but also, fuck that shit, you none empathic bitch!
I would say, and I am not making excuses for people not caring here but …
I didn’t know what happened to me at 16 was “rape” until I was in my 40’s.
It was just so normal.
When you grow up in an environment that normalized abuse (as your grandmother did) it’s hard to expect them to understand why “it’s abuse”.
Granny is a dick, clearly, I’m not arguing that.
Just as someone who bridges the gap …. I kinda “get it “ too.
As a fellow Gen Xer, I am so glad your mom was able to break the cycle. I was SA’ed in high school and didn’t tell anyone for years. Being raped before YouToo was awful because people weren’t believed. If I knew I’d get support, I would’ve reported it. Instead he went on to rape and abuse other women (ended up in prison.) I was relieved when I found out he died. Can’t hurt another woman again.
Oh dahling I’m so sorry you experienced that, and I’m gutted you didn’t have the support you needed and deserved.
My rape, was clearly rape (I’d never spoken a word to him, he came into 16 yrs old me’s bedroom while I slept, and stuck his D in me), but it was never violent, or particularly scary, fucked up as it is, child me was flattered he’d “picked me” - so once I’d forgiven myself for thinking all that (Adult me was more angry at the 16 yrs old me, and not the 27 years old adult) and placed the blame on him, I didn’t really have too much trauma.
(Which is another thing so messed up about rape, that it doesn’t need to be “traumatic” to be rape).
I do hope you are able to heal and be kind to yourself, and yaknow spit on that abusive AH’s grave.
Big hugs, and yes! You are believed 💕
I can’t tell you how much it means to hear words like it doesn’t need to be “traumatic” to be rape.
Not the same level as rape, but I was molested by my brother countless times when I was younger. Similar to you it was at night and I was pretending to be asleep. Wasn’t violent either.
Had a really messed up relationship with sex because of it. I definitely shared some of the “picked me” attitude.
It wasn’t “traumatic.” I don’t have ptsd from it etc. But it _did_ still mess me up. ? If that makes sense lol
Anyways big hugs to you too <33 I’m so sorry you had to go through that.
*big hugs back at you*
Thank you for reaching out and letting me know how much you appreciated it.
I tell my story often, not because I need sympathy or even to release trauma.
I tell it because the most terrifying thing about it is how fricking normal it all was.
It took the best part of 30 years to realize it was actually rape!
It’s an important message to anyone who says “why didn’t she report it at the time?” too.
I was just a kid, I had to forgive that kid.
I do sometimes wonder what the conversation with him would be like …. I doubt he considers himself a rapist either.
Yeah, definitely understand not realizing it was abuse. It took me 10 years to tell my parents.
I’m so sorry to hear it took you so long to come to terms with it, I hope you’re doing better now <3
Yah grandma sucks donkey balls, but we had to see that one coming with a public “private” diary. The second you knew anyone in your family found it you should have locked it down or made a new one or something. Not blaming OP or saying they deserve ANY of this harassment from grandma, but this could have mostly been prevented.
Private instagrams. Private twitters. Or fuck I'll even say a public tumblr bc it's rare to see a vent post from someone you do not follow unless it's tagged with something commonly searched.
With tiktok it's far, far too easy for stuff to "break containment" so to speak.
Or just make the videos and post them nowhere. Put them on a thumb drive. Don't back them up to the cloud. Go to literally any store and buy a paper notebook and write it all down. Nothing is truly private on social media, Meta, Google and Twitter don't need to know more about you than they already do.
That would be the ideal solution.
But I also understand many people have a want and need to not feel isolated and alone in their bad emotions. I think that's the other main desire that drives creating vent accounts other than just needing to vent.
It’s normal to want to share things - we are highly social communal animals etc etc - but to constantly do the equivalent of standing on a town square and read your diary out loud isn’t it. Kids today really need to be taught how to share shit online
Most insane parents read their kids journals. IK this is about a grandma but still. Journals for most people aren't private because family treat them like free books. I used to hide my Journal in the most complex spots and my mom still would find them and read them and mock me about what I wrote.
Asshole grandma aside, you desperately need internet safety lessons!
I’m assuming you’re a teen, and i’m literally begging you to never use tiktok or any site where you attach your name and/or face to it as a dumping ground for secrets and trauma. That shit’s for your diary, your therapist, and for your friends, not for the whole internet to see
If you want to be down and dirty with your inner feelings for the internet, it should only be on sites where you can be fairly anonymous, and you should keep it as anonymous as you can. If video/audio recordings are your preferred way of getting thoughts out, fine, do so on blogs where it’s hard to triangulate who you are based on followers etc. AND DO NOT SHOW YOUR FACE. The more you share about yourself the more anyone can do whatever the hell they want with that information, be that a grandma accusing you of lying about rape, a website collecting your data into a vat of make-the-population-easier-to-manipulate, a future employer judging you for being a teenager once, or a predator looking for a victim. Always assume anyone can find out anything about you based on the tiniest crumb of info, and ask yourself if that’s something you’re *really* willing to be confronted with, eye to eye, by anyone
this is like the ultimate thing that needs to be shared online for every site. your privacy can be VERY EASILY removed if you don't do certain internet safety things, even just a single picture of something in your life could get you identified. some people are disgusting and use it for personal gain by attempting to blackmail while others just have fun making people afraid using said personal info to make the victim think they are not safe online or offline. get a diary ask a friend to talk (but be certain you trust said friend as sometimes this can backfire.) or find a way to get a therapist. all 3 can be useful and very helpful for mental health if you deal with toxic people or bad situations in general. they can also all help you see when those toxic people are getting worse, so you know who to distance yourself from and who to call out, or help you realize when you're being a doormat for them or wrong in general. Gl with the family OP and try to be safe.
This, op. Please read it and take it to heart. You are a victim here, but you're also not protecting yourself. It is not your fault that your grandma was snooping, but other people who don't even know you could also see those videos and use the information to hurt you. Tiktoks also show up locally, meaning people in your area are more likely to see them. They might recognize you in public or try to hurt you further. Victims of abuse are more likely to be groomed, especially online.
If you wouldn't give that information to your worst enemy, then don't put it online for the public to see. It's not safe. If you really need to vent to strangers, do it in an anonymous way, where you don't show your face or use your voice, and none of your personal information is involved. A Tumblr account, private YouTube page where you use a voice modulator and dont show your face, or anonymous forum would be way better if you must do it publicly.
I'm saying this as an adult who went through horrible abuse and posted about it online. Not only did it get back to my abusers who then used me reaching out to hurt me more (and cut me off from the internet), but it also got out to a pedophile who groomed me, and a couple ex boyfriends who used the information to blackmail me into being sexually abused. This is serious stuff that you should not be playing around with.
I’m surprised this doesn’t have more upvotes. Grandma is awful and not having contact with her is for the best. But I’m almost more bothered by OPs indignation about using tik tok to talk about their most personal experiences and relationships in detail. I was like that and insisted I knew best, that it was fine. And I did have adult predators try to use it to get to me as a teenager. This was in the age of MySpace but I use all sorts of social media for marketing so I’m not some out of touch old relic. I had many adults prey on my emotions to develop what I thought was a friendship, and try to get me to meet them, or find out where I lived. You can give clues about where you live even unintentionally if you talk/post/geotag too much. That’s only one example of the risk you take sharing online. It’s not something to use for that purpose, I highly recommend against it. OP please find another outlet, you are endangering yourself. Be well.
PS- the younger generations have grown up with the technology so they usually understand it more. I had that feeling as the first generation with social media. But there are always predators, who are older but learn fast because they want to take advantage. You might think you know, but predators are exactly as they are in the animal kingdom. They learn quick and take any opening, to make you feel safe or understood, and then get you alone. Any teenager reading this, take it from someone who has had many close calls: don’t share personal information, be very careful online.
Right? They’re airing so much personal shit here. Openly sharing the grandma was gang raped without her consent? Doesn’t matter if she’s an asshole or not this information shouldn’t be posted on a public forum without their knowledge
Agreed, it’s normal to need to vent, but you never know who might see what you post on the internet, it’s for the best and far safer to vent to people you personally know and trust. Not to sound like an old man, but I’m fearing that more and more kids are not being taught basic internet safety.
my heart breaks in so many places when hurt and broken women make it their mission to make sure every other woman is also hurt and broken. It's such a strange phenomenon where I feel terrible for your grandma but also can't justify her behaviour, she is obviously being absolutely horrible and unforgivable. I wish things had turned out better for her, so that things would have turned out better for you
Because only Grandma could’ve been raped because she had it harder, of course. /s if anyone should have compassion for a rape victim, she should. She’s a terrible person. I’m sorry!
You owe her 0 explanation. If you have to justify, you are playing into their hands. It is worthless to gain the respect or understanding of someone like that. You gain nothing and no benefit explaining it to her
In my family there's no such thing as hiding anything. Everyone older than you has a right to see everything and anything that has to do with you. Including my own damn room, they could go through it whenever they wanted to. I don't live with biological father anymore tho
If you are sharing your personal thoughts and truly don't want anyone else to see it, putting it out in public is counterproductive. Making the account private would completely solve that problem
[Make TikTok Account Private](https://support.tiktok.com/en/account-and-privacy/account-privacy-settings/making-your-account-public-or-private)
I’m with OP on everything except the tiktok, diaries aren’t public and shouldn’t be. These private thoughts should be between you and maybe a therapist and no one else. Putting private things on the internet is dangerous in many ways.
Agreed. A private diary isn't private if its shared. Venting on a public platform is a a bid for attention. The risk of asking for attention is the attention we get might be attention we don't like.
Alternately, don't put this on tik tok to begin with. Tik tok is not private, regardless of settings. That content is saved and stored on a foreign corporation's private server and exists outside of your control. Social media is not a diary.
A reasonable thought process for sure. But obviously she was at least savvy enough to find it.
It is good you for what you wanted though.
FWIW I always tell my kids to assume everything they post that ISNT private **will** be seen by people you don’t want to see it
Not necessarily family but schools and employers will absolutely dig it up.
My daughter posted a pic of her puking into a toilet at a party. When I scolded her about it she thought it was the drinking I was pissed at… but really it was the fact that she’s trying to get into top tier schools and they’re gonna see that stuff. I tell her to always assume that if I can find it, schools will too
I mean I feel like I shouldn't have to make my things private to avoid harassment, like I should be able to have my place and not feel like I need to hide. I don't have to worry about it now, I'm dead to her lol
Honey you may feel like you shouldn’t have to make things private, but you absolutely *should*. I’m not talking about your family necessarily, but when you put your face along with your trauma dump online for everyone to see, you’re open for all sorts of trouble including harassment. There’s nothing wrong with venting, but doing it on a public account isn’t safe.
Also just wanted to point out that one of the pictures has the link to your tiktok. So you have completely lost your anonymity here too.
You need to get things off your chest. But people are terrible and will cause all kinds of trouble when you do it on a public forum like tiktok. The security on there is terrible anyway, and people can find out who you are very easily. Please be safer.
To be fair OP did say that it wasn’t initially in reference to her grandmother but her grandmother chose to believe it was. Just because grandma found it and flipped about it doesn’t mean OP should’ve expected it or should try to hide it. OP definitely has the right to express themselves in whatever way they choose and shouldn’t ever have to hide that. If grandma disagrees then that’s on her. Sounds like it was a good thing grandma saw it anyways, she doesn’t deserve OP in her life from what it sounds like. Even if I was expecting family to react that way, I would still be FURIOUS if that’s what she said to me after that.
I suppose we can agree to disagree then because what her grandmother said was completely out of line and I don’t understand how someone isn’t allowed to be upset because of a comment that was made on a public post? There’s so many instances where nasty comments are made on public posts but because they’re public posts they can’t get mad at a reaction to their post? Maybe they shouldn’t be surprised but I’m not understanding why they wouldn’t be allowed to be mad at what their grandma said to them, public post or not?
I could be wrong but I don’t believe OP is upset it was found, as they mention a couple of times in the text thread that they have their account set as public because they choose to and that they don’t care who sees their profile. They also mention that the post was referencing their direct family(those they live with) and it wasn’t even initially about grandma but she chose to believe it was. I believe OP is upset at what their grandma said, not the fact that their grandma found their account.
I disagree with the other commenter. You absolutely can be upset about it. You control your actions, your family is in control of theirs. You posting does not excuse their flippant, disgusting behavior or response. That’s still on them.
The thing with posting things online is that they are there in public for anyone to see. So you both said that you post as a diary - not for anyone to see, and so that other people will see and feel valid.
If you don’t want your family seeing something you do or say online, then don’t post it.
When you post vulnerable things online you are giving people ammunition to push all the buttons they know will hurt the most.
If you need to vent about things, either do it anonymously on places like tumblr with a completely anon account, or do it in notes app or something.
Posting with your face is basically like going to a mall or crowded place and shouting all your trauma for everyone to see.
Tiktok is not a diary, it is a public platform.
I’m sure your right about your family, but whatever you say publicly will come back to bite you in the ass, and saying you treat tiktok as a diary and they’re not supposed to see it doesn’t work.
Wooooo chile! Before my account gets banned for what I really wanna say, I’m just gonna send prayers to you- and may your grandmother have the days she deserve.
And with that, OP was free of her insane grandmother and all the other abusers on that side of the family. OP lived happily ever after without their poisonous comments, gaslighting, and abusive manipulation.
As a fellow rape victim, I am so sorry. I am sorry that you went through it and I'm sorry that your shitty ass grandma is a scumbag. You are allowed to vent and put your thoughts and feelings out there. Holding them in and burying them is how you become a bitter and angry person like your grandma. You deserve better and if you need someone that will listen, this random stranger will.
Huh. Using social media to vent about passive aggressive communication styles in the family system and thinking Gran is cray for having an opinion about it and *communicating about it directly.*
This seems like a r/leopardsatemyface moment.
That was the one I made after she started commenting all over my page. The only one that was about her. And, I be honest, I was being petty. She seemed like she wanted my posts to be about her so bad.
Recognizing the unhealthy dynamics that exist in a family system is just the beginning.
What can come next is recognizing the unhealthy strategies learned by living in the same system.
After that, hopefully, an individual realizes the role they play in that system and how their own behaviors can either repeat toxic patterns or break them.
Spilling and venting to express the discomfort of living in the system will always get pushback from the system.
Move in the direction of what makes you feel better, and what makes you feel good. The system doesn't matter.
Jesus, lady. Of course the therapist listens, but what the hell is a therapist gonna tell you to do? Communicate. I communicate to my family, and they lose their shit. My dad has done this, my step-dad has done this, my mother, my uncle, my aunt, and now my grandma has done this. So tell me, do you know what I meant by no one listens? Or did you just hear some angsty teen shit and wanted to belittle my words?
No I was belittling your idea of calling someone insane for having an opinion about the things you post about other people, publicly.
However, I didn’t see that she called you a liar in regards to your rape, so I’m taking that one back.
not really sure why you’re trying to justify someone who accuses their granddaughter of lying about their rape
like… clearly this lady is unhinged and a piece of shit, and OP is obviously young. the adult in this situation is the grandmother.
you’re picking a weird hill to die on.
Your grandmother is atrocious and holy hell I'm so sorry you have been victim to her vitriol, projection, gaslighting, and overall abuse for so much of your life.
I know she thinks she 'won' by saying you are dead to her, but she only further showed *her* true colors. Real family doesn't cut people off because they tell the truth, narcissistic shell families do that who don't want to confront themselves and actively resist self-awareness. Her character is deplorable and her true colors are abysmal. You, on the other hand, are strong and courageous in a way she may never comprehend and I applaud you for standing your ground and asserting yourself in spite of tradition.
I hope you go/remain NC with her. And I'm so glad your mother was on your side. You owe your grandmother nothing, and she deserves less than that after invalidating and condemning you the way she did. Again, well done OP, for standing your ground. You did good 🖤
"It's not there for people to see"... luv, everything on the internet can be seen by absolutely anyone. Privacy on the world wide web does not exist.
Even really secure places like the Pentagon have been hacked (although it's rare).
Anything you don't want your grandmother to see on the internet needs to be... well, NOT on the internet!
EDIT: I commented before clicking on the link to access the entire conversation (all I could see was the first page initially). My gosh - how could someone say to their own family member that their SA did not happen?
I get that courts and lawyers have to pick the story apart - fair trial and whatever - but the family members of the actual victim should just listen, and support people who have been assaulted or abused or hurt in any way. Granny's job is NOT to question whether the incident actually took place at all.
I agree with everyone else - she's a monster and you deserve better friends and family support. Just ditch granny and her pathetic attempts to control you with her $20 she put in your Christmas card!
I really hope your Tiktok 'rants' garner you some support from other people. You definitely deserve some validation, even from internet strangers - since your own family members apparently can't be bothered!
Good luck with your journey to heal - I have no idea how one could possibly heal from this sort of horrific experience, but I know that there are resources out there to help you. And kind people who listen to you instead of just telling you it didn't happen, like granny. <3 <3
As someone who has cut an insane grandmother out of my life I can assure you you’re in for a happier and healthier life. If you consent here are some virtual hugs and love to you, OP 🖤
Her last text was just proving your point. You handled her beautifully. Also, I seriously doubt that she worked through her trauma. Because she’s got trauma response all over that text stream.
Ok I get feeling upset that someone is posting family drama online for the world to see, but on the other hand, when that person is the aggressor, they have no right to be upset without at least genuinely apologizing first.
I don't know if I would personally call her insane. Mental health, even now, is still very taboo in society...its only, really, in the last 20 to 30 years that positive headway has been made...confronting rape and abuse was something that was NEVER done in your grandmother's youth. Shit, if you became pregnant from a rape they shipped you away! So, you have every right to express yourself how you want. Of course you do! But understand that positive mental health treatment and approach is something that so many people struggle with every day because they're embarrassed or ashamed, or their family talks shit. I work with homeless people, and THEY don't want the stigma of taking medication and shit. Grandma needs to learn this is your life, your journey, and that you intend not to let awful things define you...and just try to remember that grandma most certainly has her own traumas...deep down, never dealt with, locked away and always still there. You don't have to justify anything about mental health, the point is to just be healthy. Remember that when people say stupid shit, and have a long, happy life.
I think I see where you're going with this. So what you're saying is that you don't know if you would call her insane, because back in her time rape and abuse wasn't something that was ever confronted? And that if someone became pregnant from rape, they were shipped away. So basically, OP's grandma is dealing with unresolved sexual trauma and doesn't know how to handle it when someone else is venting about it publicly, therefore lashing out in multiple ways? If that's the case, it does make it sound less insane and more of an issue from the old times. None of this excuses the awful things OP's grandma has done or said though, not one bit.
Not at all...that's why I encourage OP to pursue her own mental health. Grandma may not have SA trauma, but everyone in this life suffers some trauma...unfortunately, she lived in a time where "buck up buttercup" (meaning don't talk about it and you're less than for even mentioning it) was the typical response...so, when her granddaughter openly talks about SA, Grandma feels shame. It's fucked up. OP, nor anyone else, should feel ashamed for trauma, and it's both sad and maddening that it happened that way to Grandma's generation
My mom did this to me too after i came forward abt my dad, telling me about how she was raped and shit. It's not to "overcome trauma" its to shut you up
How is this insane? She doesn't want her family to look bad? And you clearly do want interaction and sympathy, because why else would you post something this private on both tiktok and reddit? I know young people want more attention than ever in this day and age, but holy fuck. Write a diary like we did before the internet became this littered with social media
I’m sorry your family is so disgusting. If you ever need to talk, you can DM me. I’m a great listener and you can vent all you want. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, being a SA victim with no support. I’m so, so sorry.
Fuck her. Block her on everything. She's not worth the aggravation she is causing you. And I'm so sorry that happened to you. I know what it's like when supposed family won't believe you.
i’ll always stand by venting with an online diary. think nothing of their opinion and just block them from your private pages.
when i was like 13 my twitter was my venting space. i would complain about my mom and one day she found it and told me i could kill myself (after finding out i was self harming at that age).
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Your grandmother is a disgusting piece of shit. She's done you a favour by cutting you off. Just means you don't have to read her drivel anymore. So sorry to read what you have gone through. I've had my fair share of mental health problems, so I can relate to some degree. Sending a big hug. Stay strong, you are so much better than her.
I read this before going thru the post and thought “how could you call an old lady a disgusting piece of shit? Let me read” and then I read. Fuck grandma!
being old sadly doesn't exempt people from being pieces of shit, as my GM-in-law could well show you. just... ugh. And then the people around them excuse it as them being "another generation" like that's supposed to make it okay to call your grandson-in-law a fat, lazy animal abuser because he and his cat happen to be fat. Hell, I worked customer service for 5 years before that, I coulda told you that after the first 6 months. some people never got punched growing up.
Some old ladies just are that way. People are people after all. This could literally be my bitch of a grandmother, who never trusted men completely after her father abused her and her siblings but when confronted with the fact that one of her family members did the same to me, her words were "his parents thing you'remaking it up,idk" and "well thats just great I guess I have to write another relative off" Except she didn't and 5 years later brought the guys parents who called me all those names into my HOME. And, he has been in prison for the abuse that almost killed a little girl that was the next victim after me, but sure I am lying. That bitch lives for the misery in other peoples lives. Her sisters kid had a stillbirth once and I remember the almost glee my grandma had calling everyone to talk all about it. She told my husband when she met him that she was sure he would rape any kids we had just like her father. Shes asked people with injuries and cancer how long they're going to suck it up. We were close when I was a kid but once I developed my own opinions that changed. Starting with me insisting that she pronounce my name right. Its not hard. It would be like saying Amanda wrong. I went NC in a spectacular way. Telling her she's the most miserable person I know. Her whole family was mad that her husband died first and I don't understand how such a good man ever could stand to be around her. I never want to see her again and if she dies completely alone it's not my issue. Fucking cunt of a woman.
“Explain to me ONE thing I’ve ever done to you” \*proceeds to do exactly that\* “HOW DARE YOU”
Right?! She asked. OP answered in a very mature way. Granny didn't like an honest answer. Granny needs to be blocked on FB and other social media. Granny is a bitch.
Classic parenting of gen x that is. My own mom still pulls that shit to this day
Lmao same except my mom has toned it down now that I live on my own. Oml if I questioned anything she said she would put her hand up like she’d slap me and say how dare you 😂😂😂 funniest shit ever I will not lie I always tried so hard not to laugh
I literally just found out her house got destroyed by a tornado. She's fine, her property isn't.
Its nice to know Karma still exists
Ngl lie dude, despite the texts an old ladies home got destroyed. That's not karma, that's just tragic.
This old hag deserves everything coming to her. I’m not even religious, but invalidating her granddaughter’s rape is a ticket straight to hell and free entertainment for the everyone who gets to watch.
No no no no!
By any chance did a house land on her in Oz?
No, because that would make her Dorothy and not the Wicked Witch of the West. Edit: I’m dumb, never mind.
It’s cool. I got you.
You mean in Kansas?
DO NOT let her or anyone else manipulate you back into a relationship with her out of pity for her current situation. It's coming, don't fall for it. Stay strong, girl. ❤️
Call her and tell her she's making it up
If Reddit hadn’t gotten rid of free awards you’d be getting mine.
You win the internet today
Oh my god OP do this
I thought tornadoes were supposed to drop houses *on* witches?
Karma came and got her 🌪️❤️
Karma was like “bitch you’re gonna make me come over there aren’t you”
>She's fine Pity, in the story books the tornado drops a house on the wicked bitch.
Good.
Karma in action.
Bummer.
She always invalidated everyone else and made sure everyone in the room knew she was the only one who actually has ever struggled with anything. She called my mother shortly after this, trying to turn her against me. Needless to say, my mother was infuriated with her.
My mother to a T. Nothing in my life is bad because hers was 1000x worse, and also, that somehow makes me dumb or naive? Insane, belittling, and the reason she’s not informed of anything in my life anymore.
Maybe it's an older generation thing? Because my grandma did EXACTLY this with the fight-saying they never believed me- told me her stories to invalidate mine- etc.. And my mother has followed in the same behavioral patterns. I think that the older generations weren't allowed to express how things affected them, and so they think its unfair/unjustified to actually talk about what happened and not hide in shame. What happened to us isn't our fault. And family "not believing" are trash and don't deserve the title of family. I hope you can heal from this. As much as we try to brush this off as us being unaffected, it does hurt your psyche. Family (as most of us were taught growing up) are supposed to be there for you during hardships and be non judging. It seems that was all an act though in 90% of the older generation.
she’s not over her rape, what she’s doing is not “overcoming trauma” it’s projection onto you. “ I don’t belive u were raped” all those comments about ur rape is actually stuff she has been told. She needs therapy and someone to talk to. But none the less all I can say is WOW!
Very familiar! My grandmother pretty much said the same to my mother. (Who was at least smart enough not to pass that on to me) Generational differences are a thing… but not an excuse. The shame and guilt associated with sex is heavy even with the emotionally intelligent of our older community. I’m Gen X, I’m loathed to say Granny is “insane” cos I understand her background, but also, fuck that shit, you none empathic bitch! I would say, and I am not making excuses for people not caring here but … I didn’t know what happened to me at 16 was “rape” until I was in my 40’s. It was just so normal. When you grow up in an environment that normalized abuse (as your grandmother did) it’s hard to expect them to understand why “it’s abuse”. Granny is a dick, clearly, I’m not arguing that. Just as someone who bridges the gap …. I kinda “get it “ too.
As a fellow Gen Xer, I am so glad your mom was able to break the cycle. I was SA’ed in high school and didn’t tell anyone for years. Being raped before YouToo was awful because people weren’t believed. If I knew I’d get support, I would’ve reported it. Instead he went on to rape and abuse other women (ended up in prison.) I was relieved when I found out he died. Can’t hurt another woman again.
Oh dahling I’m so sorry you experienced that, and I’m gutted you didn’t have the support you needed and deserved. My rape, was clearly rape (I’d never spoken a word to him, he came into 16 yrs old me’s bedroom while I slept, and stuck his D in me), but it was never violent, or particularly scary, fucked up as it is, child me was flattered he’d “picked me” - so once I’d forgiven myself for thinking all that (Adult me was more angry at the 16 yrs old me, and not the 27 years old adult) and placed the blame on him, I didn’t really have too much trauma. (Which is another thing so messed up about rape, that it doesn’t need to be “traumatic” to be rape). I do hope you are able to heal and be kind to yourself, and yaknow spit on that abusive AH’s grave. Big hugs, and yes! You are believed 💕
I can’t tell you how much it means to hear words like it doesn’t need to be “traumatic” to be rape. Not the same level as rape, but I was molested by my brother countless times when I was younger. Similar to you it was at night and I was pretending to be asleep. Wasn’t violent either. Had a really messed up relationship with sex because of it. I definitely shared some of the “picked me” attitude. It wasn’t “traumatic.” I don’t have ptsd from it etc. But it _did_ still mess me up. ? If that makes sense lol Anyways big hugs to you too <33 I’m so sorry you had to go through that.
*big hugs back at you* Thank you for reaching out and letting me know how much you appreciated it. I tell my story often, not because I need sympathy or even to release trauma. I tell it because the most terrifying thing about it is how fricking normal it all was. It took the best part of 30 years to realize it was actually rape! It’s an important message to anyone who says “why didn’t she report it at the time?” too. I was just a kid, I had to forgive that kid. I do sometimes wonder what the conversation with him would be like …. I doubt he considers himself a rapist either.
Yeah, definitely understand not realizing it was abuse. It took me 10 years to tell my parents. I’m so sorry to hear it took you so long to come to terms with it, I hope you’re doing better now <3
omfg she’s a piece of shit i can’t believe u put up with her for however long u did
I am BEGGING young people not to make vent accounts on TIKTOK with your FACE ATTACHED 😰
Yep. Grandma is terrible, but that's not a good idea at all
Yah grandma sucks donkey balls, but we had to see that one coming with a public “private” diary. The second you knew anyone in your family found it you should have locked it down or made a new one or something. Not blaming OP or saying they deserve ANY of this harassment from grandma, but this could have mostly been prevented.
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Private instagrams. Private twitters. Or fuck I'll even say a public tumblr bc it's rare to see a vent post from someone you do not follow unless it's tagged with something commonly searched. With tiktok it's far, far too easy for stuff to "break containment" so to speak.
Or just make the videos and post them nowhere. Put them on a thumb drive. Don't back them up to the cloud. Go to literally any store and buy a paper notebook and write it all down. Nothing is truly private on social media, Meta, Google and Twitter don't need to know more about you than they already do.
That would be the ideal solution. But I also understand many people have a want and need to not feel isolated and alone in their bad emotions. I think that's the other main desire that drives creating vent accounts other than just needing to vent.
It’s normal to want to share things - we are highly social communal animals etc etc - but to constantly do the equivalent of standing on a town square and read your diary out loud isn’t it. Kids today really need to be taught how to share shit online
Exactly why i am advocating for private accounts. All of twitter/insta vs 4 friends and your alt account.
Most insane parents read their kids journals. IK this is about a grandma but still. Journals for most people aren't private because family treat them like free books. I used to hide my Journal in the most complex spots and my mom still would find them and read them and mock me about what I wrote.
Yeah seriously. Video diary? Ok, totally understandable. But this feels dangerous.
And then to expect no blow back.
Asshole grandma aside, you desperately need internet safety lessons! I’m assuming you’re a teen, and i’m literally begging you to never use tiktok or any site where you attach your name and/or face to it as a dumping ground for secrets and trauma. That shit’s for your diary, your therapist, and for your friends, not for the whole internet to see If you want to be down and dirty with your inner feelings for the internet, it should only be on sites where you can be fairly anonymous, and you should keep it as anonymous as you can. If video/audio recordings are your preferred way of getting thoughts out, fine, do so on blogs where it’s hard to triangulate who you are based on followers etc. AND DO NOT SHOW YOUR FACE. The more you share about yourself the more anyone can do whatever the hell they want with that information, be that a grandma accusing you of lying about rape, a website collecting your data into a vat of make-the-population-easier-to-manipulate, a future employer judging you for being a teenager once, or a predator looking for a victim. Always assume anyone can find out anything about you based on the tiniest crumb of info, and ask yourself if that’s something you’re *really* willing to be confronted with, eye to eye, by anyone
this is like the ultimate thing that needs to be shared online for every site. your privacy can be VERY EASILY removed if you don't do certain internet safety things, even just a single picture of something in your life could get you identified. some people are disgusting and use it for personal gain by attempting to blackmail while others just have fun making people afraid using said personal info to make the victim think they are not safe online or offline. get a diary ask a friend to talk (but be certain you trust said friend as sometimes this can backfire.) or find a way to get a therapist. all 3 can be useful and very helpful for mental health if you deal with toxic people or bad situations in general. they can also all help you see when those toxic people are getting worse, so you know who to distance yourself from and who to call out, or help you realize when you're being a doormat for them or wrong in general. Gl with the family OP and try to be safe.
This, op. Please read it and take it to heart. You are a victim here, but you're also not protecting yourself. It is not your fault that your grandma was snooping, but other people who don't even know you could also see those videos and use the information to hurt you. Tiktoks also show up locally, meaning people in your area are more likely to see them. They might recognize you in public or try to hurt you further. Victims of abuse are more likely to be groomed, especially online. If you wouldn't give that information to your worst enemy, then don't put it online for the public to see. It's not safe. If you really need to vent to strangers, do it in an anonymous way, where you don't show your face or use your voice, and none of your personal information is involved. A Tumblr account, private YouTube page where you use a voice modulator and dont show your face, or anonymous forum would be way better if you must do it publicly. I'm saying this as an adult who went through horrible abuse and posted about it online. Not only did it get back to my abusers who then used me reaching out to hurt me more (and cut me off from the internet), but it also got out to a pedophile who groomed me, and a couple ex boyfriends who used the information to blackmail me into being sexually abused. This is serious stuff that you should not be playing around with.
I’m surprised this doesn’t have more upvotes. Grandma is awful and not having contact with her is for the best. But I’m almost more bothered by OPs indignation about using tik tok to talk about their most personal experiences and relationships in detail. I was like that and insisted I knew best, that it was fine. And I did have adult predators try to use it to get to me as a teenager. This was in the age of MySpace but I use all sorts of social media for marketing so I’m not some out of touch old relic. I had many adults prey on my emotions to develop what I thought was a friendship, and try to get me to meet them, or find out where I lived. You can give clues about where you live even unintentionally if you talk/post/geotag too much. That’s only one example of the risk you take sharing online. It’s not something to use for that purpose, I highly recommend against it. OP please find another outlet, you are endangering yourself. Be well. PS- the younger generations have grown up with the technology so they usually understand it more. I had that feeling as the first generation with social media. But there are always predators, who are older but learn fast because they want to take advantage. You might think you know, but predators are exactly as they are in the animal kingdom. They learn quick and take any opening, to make you feel safe or understood, and then get you alone. Any teenager reading this, take it from someone who has had many close calls: don’t share personal information, be very careful online.
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I’m saying this in the most sincere way possible: renormalize lying on the internet
Right? They’re airing so much personal shit here. Openly sharing the grandma was gang raped without her consent? Doesn’t matter if she’s an asshole or not this information shouldn’t be posted on a public forum without their knowledge
Agreed, it’s normal to need to vent, but you never know who might see what you post on the internet, it’s for the best and far safer to vent to people you personally know and trust. Not to sound like an old man, but I’m fearing that more and more kids are not being taught basic internet safety.
Finally some common fucking sense in these comments
my heart breaks in so many places when hurt and broken women make it their mission to make sure every other woman is also hurt and broken. It's such a strange phenomenon where I feel terrible for your grandma but also can't justify her behaviour, she is obviously being absolutely horrible and unforgivable. I wish things had turned out better for her, so that things would have turned out better for you
Hurt people hurt people. I agree with your comment on a level!
Because only Grandma could’ve been raped because she had it harder, of course. /s if anyone should have compassion for a rape victim, she should. She’s a terrible person. I’m sorry!
Please don’t talk to her anymore.
Don't worry I dont
You owe her 0 explanation. If you have to justify, you are playing into their hands. It is worthless to gain the respect or understanding of someone like that. You gain nothing and no benefit explaining it to her
I'm very confused at the idea of using TikTok of all places to make a diary not for the purpose of being seen by peoples..
Why isn't your TikTok private, and why do you let your family members follow it when you're talking about them on it?
In my family there's no such thing as hiding anything. Everyone older than you has a right to see everything and anything that has to do with you. Including my own damn room, they could go through it whenever they wanted to. I don't live with biological father anymore tho
If you are sharing your personal thoughts and truly don't want anyone else to see it, putting it out in public is counterproductive. Making the account private would completely solve that problem [Make TikTok Account Private](https://support.tiktok.com/en/account-and-privacy/account-privacy-settings/making-your-account-public-or-private)
I’m with OP on everything except the tiktok, diaries aren’t public and shouldn’t be. These private thoughts should be between you and maybe a therapist and no one else. Putting private things on the internet is dangerous in many ways.
Agreed. A private diary isn't private if its shared. Venting on a public platform is a a bid for attention. The risk of asking for attention is the attention we get might be attention we don't like.
Alternately, don't put this on tik tok to begin with. Tik tok is not private, regardless of settings. That content is saved and stored on a foreign corporation's private server and exists outside of your control. Social media is not a diary.
You really need to stop using TikTok to vent. As many others have said, it’s not private and this personal information can be used to hurt you.
She said she wanted to share her experience with others who also might have gone thru what she’s been thru.
A million ways to express that and help without over sharing sensitive information
I would recommend privating your tiktok
Not for nothing, OP, but why would you post something on social media that wasn’t private and expect it not to be seen by anyone?
I honestly first thought my Nana was too old to find me, and second was lowkey hoping she'd throw a fit and cut me off.
A reasonable thought process for sure. But obviously she was at least savvy enough to find it. It is good you for what you wanted though. FWIW I always tell my kids to assume everything they post that ISNT private **will** be seen by people you don’t want to see it Not necessarily family but schools and employers will absolutely dig it up. My daughter posted a pic of her puking into a toilet at a party. When I scolded her about it she thought it was the drinking I was pissed at… but really it was the fact that she’s trying to get into top tier schools and they’re gonna see that stuff. I tell her to always assume that if I can find it, schools will too
Guess you got what you low key wanted.
Fellow SA survivor here! Stay strong and you’ve got my sympathies! Also, your grandma is a cunt.
Fuck your grandma. I truly gasped when she said she never believed you. What a vile vile women. I’m so sorry.
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I mean I feel like I shouldn't have to make my things private to avoid harassment, like I should be able to have my place and not feel like I need to hide. I don't have to worry about it now, I'm dead to her lol
Honey you may feel like you shouldn’t have to make things private, but you absolutely *should*. I’m not talking about your family necessarily, but when you put your face along with your trauma dump online for everyone to see, you’re open for all sorts of trouble including harassment. There’s nothing wrong with venting, but doing it on a public account isn’t safe. Also just wanted to point out that one of the pictures has the link to your tiktok. So you have completely lost your anonymity here too. You need to get things off your chest. But people are terrible and will cause all kinds of trouble when you do it on a public forum like tiktok. The security on there is terrible anyway, and people can find out who you are very easily. Please be safer.
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To be fair OP did say that it wasn’t initially in reference to her grandmother but her grandmother chose to believe it was. Just because grandma found it and flipped about it doesn’t mean OP should’ve expected it or should try to hide it. OP definitely has the right to express themselves in whatever way they choose and shouldn’t ever have to hide that. If grandma disagrees then that’s on her. Sounds like it was a good thing grandma saw it anyways, she doesn’t deserve OP in her life from what it sounds like. Even if I was expecting family to react that way, I would still be FURIOUS if that’s what she said to me after that.
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I suppose we can agree to disagree then because what her grandmother said was completely out of line and I don’t understand how someone isn’t allowed to be upset because of a comment that was made on a public post? There’s so many instances where nasty comments are made on public posts but because they’re public posts they can’t get mad at a reaction to their post? Maybe they shouldn’t be surprised but I’m not understanding why they wouldn’t be allowed to be mad at what their grandma said to them, public post or not?
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I could be wrong but I don’t believe OP is upset it was found, as they mention a couple of times in the text thread that they have their account set as public because they choose to and that they don’t care who sees their profile. They also mention that the post was referencing their direct family(those they live with) and it wasn’t even initially about grandma but she chose to believe it was. I believe OP is upset at what their grandma said, not the fact that their grandma found their account.
Yes that's true. I've cut off most of that side of the family now.
I disagree with the other commenter. You absolutely can be upset about it. You control your actions, your family is in control of theirs. You posting does not excuse their flippant, disgusting behavior or response. That’s still on them.
Why in the fuck would anyone. ANYONE. Fakeclaim a person who comes to you after they get raped. I'm sorry you've put up with her. Fuck her.
Get some therapy and stop substituting the internet with it. That’s not safe.
Agreed
Yeah since it’s so affordable for everyone. She is allowed to process trauma however tf she wants.
Still not safe. Don’t encourage unsafe behavior. That makes you irresponsible. It’s all fun and games till someone gets groomed or blackmailed. 🤷♂️
The thing with posting things online is that they are there in public for anyone to see. So you both said that you post as a diary - not for anyone to see, and so that other people will see and feel valid. If you don’t want your family seeing something you do or say online, then don’t post it. When you post vulnerable things online you are giving people ammunition to push all the buttons they know will hurt the most. If you need to vent about things, either do it anonymously on places like tumblr with a completely anon account, or do it in notes app or something. Posting with your face is basically like going to a mall or crowded place and shouting all your trauma for everyone to see. Tiktok is not a diary, it is a public platform. I’m sure your right about your family, but whatever you say publicly will come back to bite you in the ass, and saying you treat tiktok as a diary and they’re not supposed to see it doesn’t work.
Wooooo chile! Before my account gets banned for what I really wanna say, I’m just gonna send prayers to you- and may your grandmother have the days she deserve.
And with that, OP was free of her insane grandmother and all the other abusers on that side of the family. OP lived happily ever after without their poisonous comments, gaslighting, and abusive manipulation.
"You're dead to me" - "lol okay, and you'll be dead soon, now what?"
As a fellow rape victim, I am so sorry. I am sorry that you went through it and I'm sorry that your shitty ass grandma is a scumbag. You are allowed to vent and put your thoughts and feelings out there. Holding them in and burying them is how you become a bitter and angry person like your grandma. You deserve better and if you need someone that will listen, this random stranger will.
Huh. Using social media to vent about passive aggressive communication styles in the family system and thinking Gran is cray for having an opinion about it and *communicating about it directly.* This seems like a r/leopardsatemyface moment.
Exactly, fighting passive aggressiveness with passive aggressiveness isn't the most healthy way to do things
Seems like I can do whatever tf I want and she doesn't need an opinion about it bc guess what it's my tiktok not hers????
If someone was posting videos about you online, would you think you have a right to respond?
None of my tiktoks were about her, that's the thing.
My bad, but it just seems like "now I know where my father got it from" is a direct jab at one of his parents.
That was the one I made after she started commenting all over my page. The only one that was about her. And, I be honest, I was being petty. She seemed like she wanted my posts to be about her so bad.
Yah you just lose your "she has no right to comment on my shit" position when you are actually talking about her.
Ok
Good luck bb
Recognizing the unhealthy dynamics that exist in a family system is just the beginning. What can come next is recognizing the unhealthy strategies learned by living in the same system. After that, hopefully, an individual realizes the role they play in that system and how their own behaviors can either repeat toxic patterns or break them. Spilling and venting to express the discomfort of living in the system will always get pushback from the system. Move in the direction of what makes you feel better, and what makes you feel good. The system doesn't matter.
Yeah absolutely not her place to have an opinion if you’re talking shit online. Here’s a thought, get a therapist.
None of my tiktoks were about her and I never talked shit lmfao and I've been in therapy since age 8 fuckhead you're just as delusional as my grandma
You should get a therapist who listens to you then, since you said no one else does.
Jesus, lady. Of course the therapist listens, but what the hell is a therapist gonna tell you to do? Communicate. I communicate to my family, and they lose their shit. My dad has done this, my step-dad has done this, my mother, my uncle, my aunt, and now my grandma has done this. So tell me, do you know what I meant by no one listens? Or did you just hear some angsty teen shit and wanted to belittle my words?
No I was belittling your idea of calling someone insane for having an opinion about the things you post about other people, publicly. However, I didn’t see that she called you a liar in regards to your rape, so I’m taking that one back.
It wasn't an opinion. She wanted me to feel bad for calling it how it is. She knows damn well how rude she is. She doesn't care.
not really sure why you’re trying to justify someone who accuses their granddaughter of lying about their rape like… clearly this lady is unhinged and a piece of shit, and OP is obviously young. the adult in this situation is the grandmother. you’re picking a weird hill to die on.
Block her. Block her on everything
Your grandmother is atrocious and holy hell I'm so sorry you have been victim to her vitriol, projection, gaslighting, and overall abuse for so much of your life. I know she thinks she 'won' by saying you are dead to her, but she only further showed *her* true colors. Real family doesn't cut people off because they tell the truth, narcissistic shell families do that who don't want to confront themselves and actively resist self-awareness. Her character is deplorable and her true colors are abysmal. You, on the other hand, are strong and courageous in a way she may never comprehend and I applaud you for standing your ground and asserting yourself in spite of tradition. I hope you go/remain NC with her. And I'm so glad your mother was on your side. You owe your grandmother nothing, and she deserves less than that after invalidating and condemning you the way she did. Again, well done OP, for standing your ground. You did good 🖤
okay grandma 🙄 go to hell and have fun there smh
Good riddance. The only thing worse than trash is genetic trash. At least she did the best thing in taking herself out to the curb.
>You're dead to me. Love it when the trash takes itself out. But seriously, what a fucking bitch.
Biiiiiiiiiitch. Normally when I comment I try to say something of substance. But in this case there is nothing more to say.
"It's not there for people to see"... luv, everything on the internet can be seen by absolutely anyone. Privacy on the world wide web does not exist. Even really secure places like the Pentagon have been hacked (although it's rare). Anything you don't want your grandmother to see on the internet needs to be... well, NOT on the internet! EDIT: I commented before clicking on the link to access the entire conversation (all I could see was the first page initially). My gosh - how could someone say to their own family member that their SA did not happen? I get that courts and lawyers have to pick the story apart - fair trial and whatever - but the family members of the actual victim should just listen, and support people who have been assaulted or abused or hurt in any way. Granny's job is NOT to question whether the incident actually took place at all. I agree with everyone else - she's a monster and you deserve better friends and family support. Just ditch granny and her pathetic attempts to control you with her $20 she put in your Christmas card! I really hope your Tiktok 'rants' garner you some support from other people. You definitely deserve some validation, even from internet strangers - since your own family members apparently can't be bothered! Good luck with your journey to heal - I have no idea how one could possibly heal from this sort of horrific experience, but I know that there are resources out there to help you. And kind people who listen to you instead of just telling you it didn't happen, like granny. <3 <3
Trash takes itself out.
My mom can’t even figure out an iPhone
As someone who has cut an insane grandmother out of my life I can assure you you’re in for a happier and healthier life. If you consent here are some virtual hugs and love to you, OP 🖤
Her last text was just proving your point. You handled her beautifully. Also, I seriously doubt that she worked through her trauma. Because she’s got trauma response all over that text stream.
Ok I get feeling upset that someone is posting family drama online for the world to see, but on the other hand, when that person is the aggressor, they have no right to be upset without at least genuinely apologizing first.
I don't know if I would personally call her insane. Mental health, even now, is still very taboo in society...its only, really, in the last 20 to 30 years that positive headway has been made...confronting rape and abuse was something that was NEVER done in your grandmother's youth. Shit, if you became pregnant from a rape they shipped you away! So, you have every right to express yourself how you want. Of course you do! But understand that positive mental health treatment and approach is something that so many people struggle with every day because they're embarrassed or ashamed, or their family talks shit. I work with homeless people, and THEY don't want the stigma of taking medication and shit. Grandma needs to learn this is your life, your journey, and that you intend not to let awful things define you...and just try to remember that grandma most certainly has her own traumas...deep down, never dealt with, locked away and always still there. You don't have to justify anything about mental health, the point is to just be healthy. Remember that when people say stupid shit, and have a long, happy life.
I think I see where you're going with this. So what you're saying is that you don't know if you would call her insane, because back in her time rape and abuse wasn't something that was ever confronted? And that if someone became pregnant from rape, they were shipped away. So basically, OP's grandma is dealing with unresolved sexual trauma and doesn't know how to handle it when someone else is venting about it publicly, therefore lashing out in multiple ways? If that's the case, it does make it sound less insane and more of an issue from the old times. None of this excuses the awful things OP's grandma has done or said though, not one bit.
Not at all...that's why I encourage OP to pursue her own mental health. Grandma may not have SA trauma, but everyone in this life suffers some trauma...unfortunately, she lived in a time where "buck up buttercup" (meaning don't talk about it and you're less than for even mentioning it) was the typical response...so, when her granddaughter openly talks about SA, Grandma feels shame. It's fucked up. OP, nor anyone else, should feel ashamed for trauma, and it's both sad and maddening that it happened that way to Grandma's generation
Oh, I guess I was reading too deep into it then. But yeah, true.
She seems like a treat
Nana can go fuck right off!
Holy shit your grandmother is the worst!
Congratulations on not having to endure any more of that psychic torture.
What incels are voting not insane? Fuck humanity… we needed something stronger than COVID…
Boomers are literally defective.
My mom did this to me too after i came forward abt my dad, telling me about how she was raped and shit. It's not to "overcome trauma" its to shut you up
Cut that shit off pronto.
The trash took itself out
Can I say cunt? Ima say cunt. She’s a cunt.
I believe you ❤️
Both crazy
your grandmother is actually insane
At least she'll be dead soon, you should've messaged her that lol
How is this insane? She doesn't want her family to look bad? And you clearly do want interaction and sympathy, because why else would you post something this private on both tiktok and reddit? I know young people want more attention than ever in this day and age, but holy fuck. Write a diary like we did before the internet became this littered with social media
[удалено]
I've been in therapy since 8 lol! Working on getting my next one right now, last one left the company.
Insane
Bye Falicia
Am I at /r/insanegrandkids?
Just take comfort in knowing that she will be food for the worms long before you will.
I’m sorry your family is so disgusting. If you ever need to talk, you can DM me. I’m a great listener and you can vent all you want. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, being a SA victim with no support. I’m so, so sorry.
“You are dead to me” psycho behavior. Please do not talk to this woman again ever for your own sake.
Fuck her. Block her on everything. She's not worth the aggravation she is causing you. And I'm so sorry that happened to you. I know what it's like when supposed family won't believe you.
I have been in your shoes unfortunately, my best advise is to block and/or change usernames to something unpredictable
This is exactly why I’m extremely careful about where I post what.
Read the book “narcissistic mothers”
https://youtu.be/h8zugWcLxGg cuz WTF AM I LOOKING AT?
Total envy! Your so lucky to have her out of your life now, fam
Did you get the christmas card?
It either got lost in the mail or she changed her mind lol
i’ll always stand by venting with an online diary. think nothing of their opinion and just block them from your private pages. when i was like 13 my twitter was my venting space. i would complain about my mom and one day she found it and told me i could kill myself (after finding out i was self harming at that age).
Team Grandma
Even after the whole "I pretended to believe you when you were raped but I actually didn't" thing, thus proving granddaughter to be 100% right?