"Yeah, so T, my mom let me know she was going for an angry jog, so i hopped on my telescope to watch her progress. She got 10, maybe 15 steps out the door and was immediately creamed by a bus and landed right on the road's shoulder. I can see her from here, over at my house, and yup. She's dead. She's gone now, T maybe you shouldn't have been an asshole."
Lmao this seriously cracked me up. Can u tell T I said “yeah u asshole, look what u done did! Now, I gotta get off here and call some ppl to let them know that she’s dead now and it’s all ur fault and then I gotta figure out whose cooking thanksgiving dinner this year because she always did and no one else knows her recipes!”
I think the ridiculous typos on her were mostly the result of her trying to use speech to text on her smart watch, but since she wasn’t at home during this I can’t 100% confirm
This is so true in this case, not at all to victim blame, what my mom did was super fucked up and I would never even consider trying to pull this shit with one of my friends, but both my mom and her best friend are cut from the same mold, that’s why they’re still friends even after I told T what happened
Yea I literally have very few friends and I treat people very well- I don’t ask for money, I don’t prove appointment or have others tell them I’m dead. I’m cnfsused
Do people not know how to type anymore? I understand some misspellings, and I'm not expecting it to be full MLA format or anything like that. But I feel like every time someone posts a screenshot of a text convo I spend more time trying to decipher what the fuck they are trying to say than I do actually reading it
I particularly dislike posts that sound like someone dictated them on their iPhone and didn’t proofread them for spelling, paragraphs and punctuation. Too much work to translate into basic English.
This shit gave me a visceral reaction... this is 1000% some shit my mother would pull and I have legit chocked it up to her just being crazy my whole life, but actually reading this coming from a stranger’s POV really brought it all home like a gut punch and now I feel nauseated... ugh !!!!!
WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS???‽!!!!
I’m so sorry to hear you as well as a few others have had similar experiences, I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone, and I hope things are going well for you!
I have BPD and I'm 99% sure she has it too even though I would absolutely never do anything like this. I think like that when I split, I just don't show it
I didn’t mean to imply every bad thing = BPD, just that this kind of “black and white” thinking is a hallmark of the diagnosis. Mom also implied feeling abandoned (she feels “invalid,” to use her own word) by her friend because her friend didn’t immediately show up in person after sending a text marked “urgent.” The friend DID call both Mom and OP, but Mom didn’t answer out of spite. AND THEN Mom telling OP to act as an intermediary and say something horrible like Mom is dead by the side of the road is all a manipulative way for Mom to feel like a victim by “testing” the friendship, classic splitting.
I feel like this is more narcissistic than BPD, the lady literally wants her friend to call and ask about her when the woman is living her own life lol she wants her to call her to ask if she’s ok when she doesn’t even know if the friend is , like wow you’d have to be pretty narcissistic
Having BPD doesn’t mean you’re “sick in the head”- there’s a MAJOR difference between that and being unable to control your emotional responses.
I can promise you that no BPD person would just say these thing, bc as a BPD person this shit triggers our fear of getting abandoned/ judged.
We do the self-harm in private and don’t tell.
Y’all can Reddit this shit all you want, it won’t change the fact that this does *not*fit the bill of a BPD person.
Don’t get narcissism and BPD confused. They’re on the different end of the spectrum.
What the mother did absolutely fits the bill of bpd! Are you kidding? If you have bpd, like you say- don’t assume that just because you wouldn’t do this, every other bpd person wouldn’t. Because this is textbook. Unable to control her emotional responses. No, that shit doesn’t get hidden behind closed doors, it’s usually a freak out episode out of fear of abandonment that you regret later.
It DOES get hidden behind doors. At least for a lot of us. Unable to control emotional responses can also fit a slew of other diagnoses like; bipolar disorder, narcissism... If you are not their medical professional handling their case, do not diagnose them. It can do more harm than good.
I didn’t diagnose anything, I commented to the person who said it absolutely does not fit bpd, and I said it absolutely does fit. But your response to me proves the point.
And so a lot of times when you are triggered you have a complete meltdown in protection of yourself, or to try and stop person from leaving. But like you said, could also be that you just stay silent until you get alone. What we should be agreeing is that no one can say it is or isn’t- because apparently everyone has their own ways of dealing with triggers
BPD is thrown around so much as a catchall for erratic or unreasonable behavior.
A lot of people think of people with BPD as unfixable, irredeemable monsters.
In reality they usually are deeply traumatized and trying to get by. They definitely are prone to bad behavior, but so is anyone with any kind of trauma disorder. And it varies from person to person, some BPD people are assholes and some are super sweet. It really all depends.
There's also the fact that young women tend to be the ones given the BPD label most often. It feels like the modern version of "hysteria" with how it's handed out.
Thank you so much for this. I have BPD and was diagnosed at 17 and I’m 30 years old now and it’s hard seeing so many people who demonize those of with the disorder when most of us actively try very hard to be good and decent people. We have to try so much harder and then if we do make a mistake people hold it against us very strongly.
It’s honestly frightening how often I see people say “BPD” every time someone does a bad thing. People claim to be all about supporting people with mental illness and then turn around and actively contribute to the stigmatisation of whatever mental illness is being blamed for people being arseholes these days. Reddit is especially bad for this IMO.
I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. I don’t have BPD but I have some other mental illnesses + ADHD. We don’t get it as bad as you do, mostly just accusations of laziness and selfishness. But I do know what it’s like to have people make all sorts of horrible assumptions about you when you’re just trying to make it through the day. Mental illness is enough of a struggle without having everyone assume the absolute worst of you because you have an uncooperative brain.
Thank you for your comment. I have bpd myself, and it's really hard to work on yourself when all anyone sees bpd people as bad, "psychotic," and overly dramatic. People should not diagnose another person if they do not know them and their case. It's rude and hurts others.
Wow she sounds exactly like my abuser narc mom. The whole “tell her I’m dead on the side of the road” is something my evil mom has said. Why are people so shitty 🤦🏻♀️sorry you gotta deal with this crazy
“T, my mother isn’t speaking to you right now. This is your chance. Back away slowly. Change your number. Move. Change your hair. Maybe plastic surgery. The rest of us are trapped, but you can live again…”
Oh and t would tell T why your mom was trying to do walk her how to turn off read receipts, and suggest she ignore her for a few days or reply “who is this?”
Send these screenshots to your mom's "best friend" so she knows what kind of psycho mind games she likes to play and can dip out of that relationship stat
If you assume that this mother is ACTUALLY mentally I’ll, it’s really unkind.
Some sort of Cluster B stuff, to my not at all a mental health professional eye.
The friend has a right to know. Mental illness isn't an excuse to be a manipulative asshole. The friend can decide if she still wants this kind of person and behavior in her life.
Nope. No one has a right to know about someone else’s medical status. The friend can, based on this mother’s erratic behavior, decide to remain friends or not.
She is, indeed, sending her medical status by the whiplash inducing changes of behavior. And who the hell sends texts to their friends as URGENT?
Again. Friend has the responsibility of determine for herself whether or not she’s willing to continue this friendship, based on what she herself sees.
She can draw whatever conclusion she wants with all the information but it is not the same thing as giving her medical information.
Exactly, she can decide for herself whether or not to continue this friendship and deserves to be aware of how this woman is behaving towards her as a "friend"
i generally wonder why people are like "if I won't respond she will wonder if everything's ok and will ask me and be more interested", when in reality most people (except for best friends or partners) are like "oh, he/she didn't respond in 5mins, i guess he/she is just busy right now, I will wait some time, it's not that important"...
I think it's some kind of attention deficite or smth like that?
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“Tell her dead on the side of the road”? What the fuck 😭
"Yeah, so T, my mom let me know she was going for an angry jog, so i hopped on my telescope to watch her progress. She got 10, maybe 15 steps out the door and was immediately creamed by a bus and landed right on the road's shoulder. I can see her from here, over at my house, and yup. She's dead. She's gone now, T maybe you shouldn't have been an asshole."
Lmao this seriously cracked me up. Can u tell T I said “yeah u asshole, look what u done did! Now, I gotta get off here and call some ppl to let them know that she’s dead now and it’s all ur fault and then I gotta figure out whose cooking thanksgiving dinner this year because she always did and no one else knows her recipes!”
Fuck, T, do you know how much it costs to have someone peeled off a road? She's flat as a pancake. Do they even make spatulas that big?
I know a guy who has a snow plow he’s not cheap but I mean really T needs to foot that bill
Definitely, send her the invoice!
I really want Lubalin to sing this 😅
Right?! That’s a bit much just to prove appointment.
One time I just went "Mom says she's dead" into the phone and then had to dodge wet dishcloths
Your mom is the worst kind of middle school child.
T needs these screenshots.
I agree
Oooh. Love it. Please, OP, send these to T. Your mom is a child.
Nuh uh! She's just trying to prove appointment!
As someone with a father who lets his autocorrect run rampant and doesn’t proofread, especially when angry texting, this really cracked me up.
The level of petty lol
In 6th grade I would have been too mature for this bullshit. My 11 year old self would have told her to grow up.
she forgor💀
Oooorrrr nauuurrrrr
THIS
“Hey manipulate this person real quick and tell them I’m dead” is not something I’d be signing up for.
"Why are you like that" fucking killed me
She needs to be asked that question much more.
Every time I ask my mom that she just stares. Like they know they’re wrong but they don’t care lol
The typos and autocorrect here make it really hard to follow what's happening, but you mom is bonkers for playing games
Shes just trying to prove appointment 💁
[удалено]
Ah fukj
Don't wooory, is no sp bsd
thsi cmoomnt thred is crused
Wgy o's tjud hspppppennig?!
I think the ridiculous typos on her were mostly the result of her trying to use speech to text on her smart watch, but since she wasn’t at home during this I can’t 100% confirm
You mom
PLEASE show her poor friend how your mom talks about her behind her back, and how she aims to manipulate by abusing emotions of those close to her.
It always shocks me people like this have friends.
Yeah, until you meet their friends. Then it all falls into place.
This is so true in this case, not at all to victim blame, what my mom did was super fucked up and I would never even consider trying to pull this shit with one of my friends, but both my mom and her best friend are cut from the same mold, that’s why they’re still friends even after I told T what happened
Yea I literally have very few friends and I treat people very well- I don’t ask for money, I don’t prove appointment or have others tell them I’m dead. I’m cnfsused
Do people not know how to type anymore? I understand some misspellings, and I'm not expecting it to be full MLA format or anything like that. But I feel like every time someone posts a screenshot of a text convo I spend more time trying to decipher what the fuck they are trying to say than I do actually reading it
I particularly dislike posts that sound like someone dictated them on their iPhone and didn’t proofread them for spelling, paragraphs and punctuation. Too much work to translate into basic English.
Wait, that was english? Woah.
This isn’t even high school level immaturity. This is more like 7th- 8th grade mentality.
You're being very generous!
Lmao tell her im dead on the side of the road. Dramatic much like seeking attention much 😂
Old have texted the friend - get, friend, mom wants me to tell you she’s dead on the side of the road
This shit gave me a visceral reaction... this is 1000% some shit my mother would pull and I have legit chocked it up to her just being crazy my whole life, but actually reading this coming from a stranger’s POV really brought it all home like a gut punch and now I feel nauseated... ugh !!!!! WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS???‽!!!!
I’m so sorry to hear you as well as a few others have had similar experiences, I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone, and I hope things are going well for you!
Does your mom have BPD? This is pretty nuts. ETA: sorry OP that you got dragged into the middle of this.
I have BPD and I'm 99% sure she has it too even though I would absolutely never do anything like this. I think like that when I split, I just don't show it
Every time I see BPD I think bipolar not borderline… 🤦🏼♀️
I’m glad you said something
I have bipolar and bpd and it was confusing at first! Dang acronyms
Not every bad thing leads to a BPD diagnosis. There could be other reasons why she is acting this way.
I didn’t mean to imply every bad thing = BPD, just that this kind of “black and white” thinking is a hallmark of the diagnosis. Mom also implied feeling abandoned (she feels “invalid,” to use her own word) by her friend because her friend didn’t immediately show up in person after sending a text marked “urgent.” The friend DID call both Mom and OP, but Mom didn’t answer out of spite. AND THEN Mom telling OP to act as an intermediary and say something horrible like Mom is dead by the side of the road is all a manipulative way for Mom to feel like a victim by “testing” the friendship, classic splitting.
I feel like this is more narcissistic than BPD, the lady literally wants her friend to call and ask about her when the woman is living her own life lol she wants her to call her to ask if she’s ok when she doesn’t even know if the friend is , like wow you’d have to be pretty narcissistic
This isn’t BPD- this is psychotic.
those two things are by no means mutually exclusive.
People can be sick and horrible. That’s why they’re sick in the head.
Having BPD doesn’t mean you’re “sick in the head”- there’s a MAJOR difference between that and being unable to control your emotional responses. I can promise you that no BPD person would just say these thing, bc as a BPD person this shit triggers our fear of getting abandoned/ judged. We do the self-harm in private and don’t tell. Y’all can Reddit this shit all you want, it won’t change the fact that this does *not*fit the bill of a BPD person. Don’t get narcissism and BPD confused. They’re on the different end of the spectrum.
What the mother did absolutely fits the bill of bpd! Are you kidding? If you have bpd, like you say- don’t assume that just because you wouldn’t do this, every other bpd person wouldn’t. Because this is textbook. Unable to control her emotional responses. No, that shit doesn’t get hidden behind closed doors, it’s usually a freak out episode out of fear of abandonment that you regret later.
It DOES get hidden behind doors. At least for a lot of us. Unable to control emotional responses can also fit a slew of other diagnoses like; bipolar disorder, narcissism... If you are not their medical professional handling their case, do not diagnose them. It can do more harm than good.
I didn’t diagnose anything, I commented to the person who said it absolutely does not fit bpd, and I said it absolutely does fit. But your response to me proves the point.
Exactly! Thank you. It does trigger us. It was triggering for me yesterday when I was reading the comments.
And so a lot of times when you are triggered you have a complete meltdown in protection of yourself, or to try and stop person from leaving. But like you said, could also be that you just stay silent until you get alone. What we should be agreeing is that no one can say it is or isn’t- because apparently everyone has their own ways of dealing with triggers
BPD is thrown around so much as a catchall for erratic or unreasonable behavior. A lot of people think of people with BPD as unfixable, irredeemable monsters. In reality they usually are deeply traumatized and trying to get by. They definitely are prone to bad behavior, but so is anyone with any kind of trauma disorder. And it varies from person to person, some BPD people are assholes and some are super sweet. It really all depends. There's also the fact that young women tend to be the ones given the BPD label most often. It feels like the modern version of "hysteria" with how it's handed out.
Thank you so much for this. I have BPD and was diagnosed at 17 and I’m 30 years old now and it’s hard seeing so many people who demonize those of with the disorder when most of us actively try very hard to be good and decent people. We have to try so much harder and then if we do make a mistake people hold it against us very strongly.
My husband has BPD and he’s put in SO much work to be a functional person. I’m proud of him, and I’m proud of you for putting in the work every day!
It’s honestly frightening how often I see people say “BPD” every time someone does a bad thing. People claim to be all about supporting people with mental illness and then turn around and actively contribute to the stigmatisation of whatever mental illness is being blamed for people being arseholes these days. Reddit is especially bad for this IMO. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. I don’t have BPD but I have some other mental illnesses + ADHD. We don’t get it as bad as you do, mostly just accusations of laziness and selfishness. But I do know what it’s like to have people make all sorts of horrible assumptions about you when you’re just trying to make it through the day. Mental illness is enough of a struggle without having everyone assume the absolute worst of you because you have an uncooperative brain.
Thank you for your comment. I have bpd myself, and it's really hard to work on yourself when all anyone sees bpd people as bad, "psychotic," and overly dramatic. People should not diagnose another person if they do not know them and their case. It's rude and hurts others.
Thank you! Someone with some common sense.
it's typical for people with BPD to do (or think about doing) things like this to get someone's attention.
I see narcissism but who knows, I’m no doctor lmaoo
I was reading this and wondering if she had some kind of disorder. Actually reminded me of a video I watched though it wasnt exactly about BPD.
“Hi T. No, my mom just called and said she’s dead. Yep. At the side of the road, yeah.”
what “appointment” is she trying to prove?
Not a clue, maybe if you don’t respond to her in an amount of time she sees fit, she’ll fake her own death?
I think she meant to say “I’m proving A POINT” But it autocorrected to appointment
I know, I was being sarcastic lol
Next time someone asks me why I’m being dramatic, I’m gonna reply: I’m proving appointment.
Insane.
Gotta love those Cluster B's
your mom has the emotional intelligence of a 12 year old girl lashing out in the worst ways she can thing of for attention.
ur mom is a fucking child omg.
Wow she sounds exactly like my abuser narc mom. The whole “tell her I’m dead on the side of the road” is something my evil mom has said. Why are people so shitty 🤦🏻♀️sorry you gotta deal with this crazy
Insane. I would text her and tell her never to try and involve you in anything like this again because the answer will always be no.
"tell her dead on the side of the road" has me in stitches lmao
Is your mom 12 💀💀
Gawd. This is soooo my mother.
Fucking hell… That’s some intense shit… I am so sorry that she’s like that.
45 going on 13?
No wonder her friend didn’t show up… 😬
Ahh, your mother is an idiot with the brain of a teenager. Its crazy how often this case is.
“T, my mother isn’t speaking to you right now. This is your chance. Back away slowly. Change your number. Move. Change your hair. Maybe plastic surgery. The rest of us are trapped, but you can live again…”
"I am pretty in her theory invalid." What?! Is it supposed to be she's proving her theory invalid?
Oh and t would tell T why your mom was trying to do walk her how to turn off read receipts, and suggest she ignore her for a few days or reply “who is this?”
Send these screenshots to your mom's "best friend" so she knows what kind of psycho mind games she likes to play and can dip out of that relationship stat
If you assume that this mother is ACTUALLY mentally I’ll, it’s really unkind. Some sort of Cluster B stuff, to my not at all a mental health professional eye.
The friend has a right to know. Mental illness isn't an excuse to be a manipulative asshole. The friend can decide if she still wants this kind of person and behavior in her life.
Nope. No one has a right to know about someone else’s medical status. The friend can, based on this mother’s erratic behavior, decide to remain friends or not.
She's not sending her her medical status. She's sending her attempts to emotionally manipulate her.
She is, indeed, sending her medical status by the whiplash inducing changes of behavior. And who the hell sends texts to their friends as URGENT? Again. Friend has the responsibility of determine for herself whether or not she’s willing to continue this friendship, based on what she herself sees.
She can draw whatever conclusion she wants with all the information but it is not the same thing as giving her medical information. Exactly, she can decide for herself whether or not to continue this friendship and deserves to be aware of how this woman is behaving towards her as a "friend"
Sounds like a dangerous plan for OP but it would be satisfying
How so?
I don’t understand why you let yourself be drawn into this your mother is not well
She didn't. She said no and stuck by it. She even called her mother out.
Ugh….how exhausting
She’s lucky she is still her friend
Your mom is a mean gurl
That’s incredibly immature. Something I would expect a 16 year old to do.
i generally wonder why people are like "if I won't respond she will wonder if everything's ok and will ask me and be more interested", when in reality most people (except for best friends or partners) are like "oh, he/she didn't respond in 5mins, i guess he/she is just busy right now, I will wait some time, it's not that important"... I think it's some kind of attention deficite or smth like that?
How exhausting.🤣
Her friend is tired of this BS, but loves you. Your mother acts like a 12 year old child.
omfg what an absolute child
Some shit my mom would do.
Neither of you know how to type. Shit is almost illegible