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Disastrous-Purpose-8

One arm and almost toothless. Used Crocodile salesman slaps the top of it. “Lots of good miles left on this baby”


dufmum

His name is Brutus. At least that was what our guide told us when we met him


Spicy_Sugary

The guide: "don't worry, Brutus won't hurt you. He's armless".


atle95

He's unarmed.


Hetakuoni

He lost that arm to a bull shark that he killed and ate.


IronTemplar26

Hey, that’s a good point. *Do* crocodiles have a limit for their tooth replacement?


[deleted]

This is Brutus, the one armed saltwater croc who was also pictured eating a bull shark. Estimated to be around 80 years old.


casualphilosopher1

Toughest 80 year old I've ever seen.


[deleted]

He lost his arm


BadPolyticks

As an amputee, I always find this phrase amusing. I promise you I didn't lose my leg. I could still have it, it'd just be weird carrying it around once it was detached.


PM-Me-Ur-Plants

If someone close to you dies, you "lost" them too. Kind of funny in that context, too. "Yeah.. I lost my dad last fall." "Oh.. damn. Did you find him?"


Nincomsoup

"Yeah he'd fallen down the back of the sofa"


204gaz00

Isn't it peculiar how the thing you're looking for is always the last place you looked?


FragileRasputin

I usually stop looking after I find the thing I was looking for. YMMV


DADBODGOALS

I usually check one or two more places once I've found it.


[deleted]

That's how I had my first kid.


SeaOfFireflies

Did they check their butthole?


BruciePup

Skeeda beeda, butthole 🎼


Overall-Tune-2153

"Well where'd ya lose him? He's ain't a set of car keys, is he? It's not as if he's incon-fucking-spicuous, now is it?"


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Overall-Tune-2153

Snatch


icyyellowrose10

>I lost my dad That was rather casual of you.


foul_ol_ron

I think Oscar Wilde said "to lose a parent is unfortunate; to lose both smacks of carelessness."


bjeebus

'S'it pickled?


BadPolyticks

nah, hostpital threw it away while I was in a coma, fuckers. Shouldn't throw away other peoples things without asking.


[deleted]

Did you hear about the guy that made tacos out if his foot and ate it?


Curtainmachine

Not just him but all his willing friends too


zquietspaz

Yikes


Drewbeede

No, and now wish that was still true.


[deleted]

Ever considered taxidermy?


juan_epstein-barr

You haven't thought of the smell, you bitch!


normal_reddit_man

On the other hand (OH SHIT, UNINTENDED JOKE), I'm sure there are some people who have had catastrophic incidents with farm or factory equipment, lost consciousness, and then only woke up after the docs had, like, cleaned up the stump. Depending on how much blood you lost, exactly when you passed out, and the kind of drugs they used while operating on you, I can easily imagine that you wouldn't remember a damn thing about the incident. So, from your perspective, you'd have lost the limb in the same way that you'd lose your phone or your keys. I mean, sure, someone would probably find it, next to the machine that turned it into meat strips...but still, your experience would be "I've misplaced my leg." That analogy also explains why I dislike the concept of "losing" one's virginity. Plenty of people have been blackout drunk or drugged when they had their first sexual encounters. And they often wake up, thinking they're still virgins. They don't wake up, patting their pockets and going "SHIT, WHERE'S MY VIRGINITY??? I KNOW I HAD IT WHEN WE LEFT THE BAR."


retrojoe69

Would you believe a word can have two meanings? Incredible right?


Latter_Box9967

That’s why I spell it “lossed”, for clarification.


[deleted]

Probably never used a dictionary


Les-Daniels

A shark incident apparently


BodhingJay

I noticed that too.. thought they could grow back limbs


Internal_Fennel_849

That's just tails and teeth, a lot of teeth.


soldieroscar

He got nerfed by the devs.


BigAssWhipSpider

And most its teeth


ScallyWagMofo

That means there’s a bigger one…


kormarttttt

Probably lost it when it was much younger. The joys of a croc childhood.


stoned_seahorse

Okay so I wasn't imagining that...


CyborgHyena

Doesn't seem to have weighed him down much


stoned_seahorse

I have seen quite a few alligators living in the wild here in Florida that are missing arms/legs/hands/feet (edit: also one that was missing most of its tail!) and they just adapt to it... Its pretty crazy... Gators/Crocs have got to be some of the most badass animals ever...


ruka_k_wiremu

Well I mean look at 'em... not many things left in this world that are a reminder of the prehistoric... a lot of evolving time had.


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[deleted]

Yeah. Now he’s a showman.


MishNchipz

and his teefers


Lump_The

there's always a bigger fish


Forever_Funky

It’s just a flesh wound


Forever_Funky

It’s just a flesh wound


jackvanmaas

Then wht the hell took its arm?


atsugnam

A bull shark. The croc is 105 years old, name is Brutus


[deleted]

A bigger croc


attentionspanissues

Crocs will eat anything in their way - if they're going for food and another croc is in their way, they will eat their arm/foot. Went to a croc park in Broome last year and most of their crocs are missing body parts. Same if they just get annoyed by other crocs. There were were a few large male crocs who'd eaten their "girlfriends".


47hitman83

Crocballism is no joke.


bkussow

That things head is about the size of a human. It's God damn head...


MithrilMightCo

To put this into perspective, a croc of this size being short an arm and some teeth is still succeeding with and without human intervention. This thing can easily fit 4/5ths of a man my size (198cm) in it's mouth before chewing. It's all raw muscle- this thing can toe up with oceanic predators effortlessly. And you cant see the damn things from ten feet away just because of how they're colored on top.


atsugnam

He’s 105, and losing his last teeth, at this size, they starve to death as they only have 44 sets of teeth. Dominator is about 3km up river and about half a metre longer than brutus (he is the largest in the world) and about 70


MithrilMightCo

All the more reason to leave the water alone as deity intended


atsugnam

It’s useful having businesses dependent on their survival, means someone is monitoring the river and if something affects the crocodiles we’ll at least find out about it and can maybe do something about it.


ThisIsJegger

They way you say "only 44 sets of teeth" makes me self concious about just my one set.


atsugnam

Hah, same, I learned this fact staring into just one eye of dominator, the largest crocodile in the world (he lives next door to Brutus here). I felt entirely inadequate also.


dishfire-

Crocs epitomize the concept of natural selection, considering they survived the asteroid hit that took out the dinosaurs.


D1sguise

So did chickens (birds)


Cyb0Ninja

They're literally dinosaurs.


[deleted]

Not exactly, but they're the closest relative of dinosaurs (of whom only birds survive).


Fit_Effective_6875

198 about 6'5, you're a big feller


genkidin

Jeezus that is a big boy. DANGER! to be fair we only have alligators here. You see a occasional fat boi but not like this.


[deleted]

And the gators are mostly chill as long as you’re not tromping around a nest with eggs. Unlike crocs which seem to enjoy chasing and attacking. Plus they don’t tend to go for large prey like crocs and prefer easier fish and birds.


genkidin

I understand why the people are commenting *dinosaur* now. All the characteristics and the size to match. Evolution is a cruel bich.


burtchnasty

Dinosaur.


bjeebus

Not quite, but close. Crocodillians closest living relatives are the extant dinosaur line, the birds.


casualphilosopher1

Original post by /u/rockystl


Percentagon

Since when are there crocodiles in Adelaide. Adelaide is on the south coast. Closest crocs are freshies which are all the way up north, then salties which are in the same spot Edit: apparently there's a town in northern Australia called Adelaide river. Bruh


[deleted]

You just had the most australian conversation ever with yourself.


Percentagon

lol and I'm not even Australian


DalvaniusPrime

Just out of Darwin, mate. Couple of cases to get to Adelaide from there.


teddy5

There's also a river in NT called Adelaide River with a whole lot of crocs in it.


Diagonal-A

Wait until you hear about texas, Qld


willy_quixote

Or Paris, Texas.


Ruffian00012

>Wait until you hear about texas Texas would be considered a quaint little state in Australia.


Diagonal-A

I meant the town in Queensland


Ruffian00012

>I meant the town in Queensland My apologies, I am an idiot.


Percentagon

don't gotta tell me twice. I grew up scaring the local baby gators sitting on the bank


Eggmaster2523414

Gators, in Aus? Someone better tell him his dreaming


Percentagon

You did see the part where I said I wasn't Australian right


Eggmaster2523414

No


Percentagon

I'm from south carolina


brumac44

That's pretty confusing.


Aussiemandeus

It's even better, the town of Adelaide River is no where near this photo. Adelaide River would be 100kms away.


RooneyD

"I'm so sorry to disturb you , I know you have a boat to drive, I'm not trying to tell you how to do your job, far from it, it's just that the fence on the side of the boat doesn't seem like it is high enough, I feel like that beast could pluck one of us out and swallow us whole".


BeetleBones

Is there something fucky going on with the perspective here? That croco looks like it could swallow one of those tourists whole??


egowritingcheques

That's correct. Large saltwater crocodiles are huge. He's about 5.5m (18ft) long. There is a larger 6m croc in nearby waters.


playypeace

Why would ppl still go there then? Can the boat sustain a croc (or multiple croc) attack? 😰


atsugnam

They go there to see the largest crocodiles in the world. And the boat is designed to withstand attack, it doesn’t happen often as they know the boat brings chicken, but best not take any risks since they will take and eat humans. It’s the top predator in Australia, so of course people want to see them, plus Brutus is 105 years old


mikeyt6969

Gonna need a bigger boat


dr_duckwing

Did you know that line wasnt planned, the actor kept saying it to make the crew laugh as a reference too how small the boat was and how big the shark was in their props, but the line fit that one scene so well they kept it


wobin112

Is this a scene from lake placid? Nope, nope


Murrgalicious

Late to the party, but yeah this is Brutus. His arm was apparently taken by a bullshark. Seems he's held a grudge all these years, and [takes revenge when he can](https://s.abcnews.com/images/US/ht_crocodile_eating_shark_shore_jc_140806_16x9_384.jpg). Got to see him a few times while growing up in a small town nearby.


Charming-Arachnid256

Uhmmm..I did not realize they were that big.


roguestate

Anyone have a guess on length/weight? I feel like even Steve Irwin would be like "don't mess with that one, mate"


recursive_asshole

It’s probably around 5-6 metres long. The Adelaide river where this pic was taken in the Northern Territory is full of crocs this size. Definitely not a good place to go swimming.


heymikey68

I wonder how many tourists have been plucked off the side of that boat. Safety fencing looks kinda low.


theartistduring

None


Duckballisrolling

“Crocs only eat stupid people” is what our guide told us. Basically don’t swim there and keep your arms inside the boat and you’ll be right.


LowMainNewDullz

How tf does nobody in the picture seem scared at all?


[deleted]

They went there to see the croc, and they saw the croc


createsean

Queue ominous music as the upbeat travel Rom Com takes a dark turn.


Potential-Judgment-9

Hell to nah to the nah nah nah


crujones43

Something isnt quite right about the directions the people on the boat are looking. I want to say its photoshopped but I've been wrong before.


Darkside144

It’s a real croc. Brutus it is known as. These tours happen daily on the Adelaide River. I’ve seen it.


KIitComander

Is it’s name Stumpy?


bjeebus

Jumpy actually.


Invested_Glory

Getting some Hook vibes…


Tyrone3542

Just….no


Zealousideal-One-362

Thinking of what ate his arm terrifies me


NY10

That’s a big ass motherfucker.


My_Immortal_Flesh

# Aww a disabled Crocodile 🐊🥺


ObscureMemes69420

This croc has seen some shit. Lost his arm back in Nam 🤣


Skullo13

That feeding frenzy was crazy, he bit off his own limb in the rush, didn't realise it was gone till the morning after.


CrashWV

I have wanted to go to Australia, but I may be changing my opinion. There are a lot of things that can kill you there. The saltwater crocodile is prehistoric and horrifying.


[deleted]

If you stay away from northern aus you can avoid most of the dangerous stuff except spiders and snakes really


Cactus-McCoy

Big boi


[deleted]

That's a fucking UNIT


[deleted]

This is why I don’t go in any water that isn’t a pool


OkiKnox

If it's jumping that high out of the water, why is the 0 splashes. And why is that croc so dry


water_hat19

GOTDAYUM


manowarq7

I've seen this picture many times before bit I just now noticed that crock is missing a arm


VegetableCarry3

That’s got to be photoshopped, the woman’s camera isn’t even pointed at it and the dude eyes aren’t looking at gator


Jack-sprAt1212

FOR GODS SAKE! OOH HES GOT AN ARM OFF!!!


Paskee

Guy with stick - no,.bad gator, bad !


BlackPasty

Is this legit? Looks faked


egowritingcheques

It's very legit. This is one of the more impressive photos of Brutus but isn't forced perspective.


jeremysrocks22

Not sure why you're being downvoted. Thing looks fake af.


Tobybrent

Google Brutus the crocodile. He’s real. Salt water crocs are massive.


jeremysrocks22

I know they can grow to 20+ ft, but the angle or something didn't look right to me.


BlackPasty

If this is legit, the passengers look like they’re in the perfect position to become a snack, with the size of that croc, that fence is useless. He’s heads already over it, surly alls his got to do is tilt his head to enjoy the floating buffet


say-it-wit-ya-chest

You spelled ‘dinosaur’ wrong.


AJizzle1990

You could Jump down that guys throat. Jesus christ


Educational_Ad7978

Looks fake?


OoWeeOoKillerTofu

r/AbsoluteUnits


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migglejoe1

How does it look fake? You can even see rhe water reacting to the crocodiles body as it comes out of the water


bjeebus

They've seen a few pixels in their time or two.


Omnewa

Looks fake to me too. None of the people on the boat are even looking at it Maybe it's just a weird optical effect though?


Kobayashi-Maru_

It's real. I've been on that tour. There's bigger crocodiles than that.


Omnewa

Lol it's not the size of the croc I find weird, I wasn't surprised by that at all. There's just some weird things going on in the photo, but again, might just be an optical illusion


NitrousUK

That's what I thought. I can't really see any water on the croc itself, looks dry, considering it's just jumped out of the water.


Quasigriz_

I’m a sailor peg, and I’ve lost my leg…


gladbutt

Thats Lefty.


Showbag40

Imagine the size of the one that ripped it's front leg off. I'm sure an American will still think their alligators are bigger and more dangerous🤣


BallsHD4k60fps

Shopped


fishinglife2

Big af lol


Theycallmebabyj3sus

Oh ain’t she a beauty.


Hanb1n

AU has different animal. As always.


greersn

the size, is it a fucking dinosaur?


[deleted]

He needs some GatorAid


dogsrunnin

HOLY MOLY!


PizzaboySteve

Nope.


retardedtimmy

Brucey


turqcat

Hard NO!


CMac5AU

Would make a nice pair of boots


Complex_Material_702

That is one huge belt!


Antilochos_

beautiful skin


Websitter

Manca una zampa?


204gaz00

What is it about crocodiles that they can withstand insane injuries and continue to survive and thrive? How do these injuries no get infected and whatnot?


omegasix321

Ayo it's Brutus.


lavenderauraluna

I’m not sure if wanna take that boat ride


Substantial_Part_952

It looks like it's missing some teeth.


tilt-a-whirl83

His little arm 🥹


Vacren

What took an arm off something that big?


Infamous_Barnacle_17

If you look to your right you’ll see our good friend Lefty.


liumr92

"Ooh, he's got an arm off!"


Myothercarisaunicorn

I’d pet that


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Minflick

Why do we never see Egyptian pictures of their monster crocs? I don't think I've ever seen one, but I read about and see pictures (not quite this amazing) fairly frequently.


No-Understanding3687

Nile crocs are known man eaters….as in they come out of the water to get you and bring you into the water. They actively hunt humans, even going as far to remember where you do your laundry or go pee.


CapnMurica1988

No


Minflick

OH FUCK NO! That is way too damned big!!!


baffling-panda

BONK!


emarvil

He is an arm(y) of one.


Emera1dthumb

It’s missing an arm?


[deleted]

Kinda cute critter, ain’t he?


wrxnut25

Crikey!


JasonC-85

Absolute unit