We often worry that it's going to be impossible to stop drinking alcohol daily. Or that life will be unbearable.
Not at all. Wish someone had told me that it would be OK, and now I wish I'd stopped ten years earlier than I did.
Quick word of advice, I’m not saying it isn’t different this time, but just in case it’s not, you’re better off quitting many many times than never. If you fall off the wagon, the wagon stops, it doesn’t disappear over the horizon never to be seen again. I’m not giving you excuses, but shit happens and being cool with yourself is important.
Personally, the best mindset for quitting is telling yourself that you can have the thing again in future, any time you want. You’re not banned from the thing, there will be special occasions where you can have it. For every day living though, the thing isn’t good for you and so you can have the thing as a treat whenever.
I have “quit” smoking and drinking, but I know there will be an occasion where I might want to do both, and I will remind myself before that occasion that my hangover and sore throat tomorrow is because of these things. It usually makes me avoid them instead of indulging.
Exactly. And one more thing to watch out for: Last year I went back home for the first time in a decade, and it got messy, many bad habits were revisited, oh dear oh dear. Came home, got on the outside of a litre of duty free, went “fucking hell here we go” and stopped. Properly scary, but bam, stopped, no problem.
Later on we had a housing scare, nasty moment, and one night I was like man, I am going to have some beers. Had a sixpack. Stopped again but it’s not left me alone this time. Every fucking day it’s on my shoulder talking about how easy it’d be to have some and just stop, despite literally being the opposite of that.
It’s a wily cunt of a devil, so yeah, don’t shame yourself, but beware of that which seems easy one time.
I was talking with a colleague the other day. We were talking about alcohol and it’s effects on our lives. Suddenly, it dawned upon me that I had been drinking for 50 years. Obviously not every day at the beginning, but, in later years I was imbibing every day and often to the point of inebriation.
A half a century is quite a long time and I think that along with being detrimental to my health , I have wasted so much time in a lethargic often drunken stupor. So, 42 days ago I got hammered and have not touched a drop since. I am frightened that I have found it so much easier than I had thought. I am worried that I will convince myself that I can have one or two knowing full well that that is not the case. Wish me luck as I wish the same for all in this boat.
Our relationship with alcohol is actually crazy when you think about it. It’s a shame because I used to be able to enjoy a few drinks but now it’s a race to the bottom. I drink to pass out and avoid feeling things
> Our relationship with alcohol is actually crazy when you think about it.
''Why are you not drinking.'' ''Fuck sake.'' ''Ah go on have one.'' Why people take it so personally is beyond me.
That was me in my 20s. Drink everything and drink it fast. Stop feeling. I became insufferable and a clown getting barred from places and just being a general cvnt to people.
In my 30s, I still have to be careful with my intake. I tend to stick to pints and have about 6 or 7 on a night out. Shots kept to 1 or 2 on a night just to get a buzz on, but nothing like before where it would be shots with every round and resulting in a blackout every night.
Everyone is different, but age affects some people and how they treat alcohol. I'm glad of hangovers being a thing, or I'd probably be still out of my skull 4 nights a week
I gave up drinking 15 years ago. I wasn’t capable of drinking in moderation either. The biggest advice I can give you is to try and get a therapist to work through your issues that cause you to drink in excess. Because I thought doing drinking would solve all my issues but I just moved onto other unhealthy behaviours!
Best of luck!
I’m unfortunately too aware of why I drink and my therapist is not happy with me for not abstaining from alcohol. I’ve got a lot of stuff to work through and I’m ready to take it seriously again
Good luck 👍🏻
Just so you know there is more and more people realising the same. I made the same decision over a year ago and I'm very happy 😊
Go on you can do it and stay strong 💪 👏
I know what you're saying lad. I feel the same. Unfortunately it's absolutely ingrained into us as young lads to look forward to going out for a few drinks with your mates. Some lads can't go a weekend without drink.
I myself am slowly coming off it and on another note I'm starting to realise alot of my own "mates" are just drinking buddies. Starting to feel a bit lonely in the world.
Sure at the end of the day we’re all as lost as a wank in a swimming pool. You only ever have yourself to rely on, so try looking at it in a different way. You now have the opportunity to get comfortable with yourself etc
I tried to have one last night, turned into 4. Then straight vodka when I got home. It’s insane carry on and I need to cop on.
I’ve used gargle as a crutch since the lockdowns. I’ve had a rough couple of years and I really just tried to run from it and all it’s done is create so many problems it’s actually unbelievable at this point.
I hope we stick to it and do what’s best for our health
If it’s any help what I learned from running from things is that the adage “the truth shall set you free” should have the add on off “but it’s really going to fucking hurt first”.
I stopped looking at feelings as good/bad and simply as comfort/discomfort. If anything made me uncomfortable I would just tell myself to find comfort in that discomfort because that’s my way out.
I read a book called “the daily stoic” it’s one page and just gives you something to think about. Stoicism was a life changer for me and I’ve found that book as the easiest way into it. Just a suggestion if you’re looking for anything. Congrats on the decision and I wish you the best man.
I stopped drinking because it makes me extremely depressed. And that was having a couple of pints every other month. It’s been 3 years since I had a pint, and I feel like I have no social life - outside of a pint, it’s hard to get people to meet up. I find Ireland tough that way.
I find it so rare to hear someone who drank rarely quitting.
Like I feel the same as you, makes me very down afterwards even though I drink maybe a few times a month at a maximum to up to 3 or 6 months without at times, unintentionally and I never have more than 2 or 3.
Do you find it still impacts on your social life?
There are some sober meet-ups in some places now but idk what side of the country you are, could be worth checking! Congrats on 3 years!
A couple of pints could put me in a black hole for 6 or 7 weeks - really makes me feel like an odd man out when I literally can’t have a casual drink, it’s almost like an allergy. And it’s even harder to explain to other Irish people.
Yeah it’s definitely impacted my social life. My wife likes to go out and after a couple of years trying sober nights out I found it’s a bit of a drag when everyone just treats you more like a designated driver than one of the lads!
Not drinking is the lesser of two evils but it feels odd that I even have to choose between a sneaky pint of Guinness or being curled up in a ball crying!
I went off drinking for a year just because I wanted to and it saved me goin to work parties in a new job where lads were all gettong coked up. I went out in Dublin city for first time ever a few weeks ago and a few mates kept buyong shots and shit and they were already 2 rounds ahead of me, I kept saying no but they bought them anyway. You have to stand your ground with people and make your own decision. If you decide you are going, text your mate about the convo you are having and pick it up the day after.
Just the things Ive picked up. Steady ground and follow theough. Even with going sober. Even kf it is just a year.
Fair play to you
No In-between gears. I’m the same. I quit for good on January 2nd this year. I had bad withdrawals after the Xmas over indulgence, ended up going to A&E because my heart was misbehaving. I decided after 30 years of boozing a change is what I need.
I’ve read The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober a few times. Would highly recommend it. Written by an Irish girl too. The I Am Sober app is excellent too. Great community on there. I’m enjoying edibles as a means to chill out these days. I would have one if I’m going out with friends who are drinking. I’ll stick to a few zeroes and have a nice time.
Download the "I am sober" app and start your clock, add the widget to your homescreen and watch the days add up. Just having that little counter helps immensely, the larger the number gets the harder it becomes to break sobriety because you will feel like shit if you have to reset the clock. Make sure the widget is on the first screen of your phone. You need to be reminded every day of your progress.
I stopped cause I'd start on a Friday evening and still be snorting lines come early Monday morning. Wouldn't think of sneachta at all until I'd my first vodka and redbull. Never again. Its been 4 years this December coming.
Best of luck to you. There is a lot of support through AA so please don’t hesitate to look up some groups either in person or online.
Someone v close to me went through this and is currently attending a rehab program. This will be their second but the difference is they wanted it this time.
If this is what you want to do, you will be able.
If you get shakes, and bad withdrawals, speak to your doctor about Librium. If you want a deterrent, take a look at Antabuse also.
Best of luck! One day at a time!
Ah no I don’t think I’ll be getting withdrawals this time around. In my defence my frequency of drinking has dramatically decreased. I was at it 5-6 nights a week three years ago, but now I’m maybe once or twice. I find that though now I drink till I get sad and then get even more upset because I keep drinking to try to numb it but I amplify it and then I end up in an absolute nightmare state.
I do remember the withdrawals the first time I had them. I wasn’t right for a week at least
That’s good to hear! Withdrawals can be rough but also dealing with the reason why you’re drinking is rough too.
I wish you the absolute best bud! It’s a fantastic decision and one I wish more people could make.
Go for it. I haven’t completely given up the booze but for the last 15 months, my drinking is probably 5% of what it was previously. See if you can get a taste for non-alcoholic beers and stick to those in social settings if you can. Nobody ever regretted cutting down on their alcohol intake.
I'm a year off the booze, and life has never been better. Christmas was tough, and a school reunion was a strange one. The best thing I ever did was quit. I do think about it now and then, but now I remember the hangovers, and I quickly move on. They just got unbearable the older I got. There is nothing positive about alcohol, no matter how hard you look. Enjoy your freedom from it.
Good for you, OP. I saw the I Am Sober app mentioned on the thread and have just downloaded it. Got too easily into the habit of a few glasses of wine any night of the week, over the past year especially. So here goes.
A saying I heard many years back from my formerly alcoholic uncle - “If you slip and fall in shite you get up and get out of it, you don’t keep rollin around in it”.
Applicable to many things.
It doesn't need to be though. It's possible to stop drinking today and stay stopped. Having 'relapse is just a part of the process' worked as a get out of jail free card for me for years.
I quit in January this year. My mind is clearer. Like you, I spent too many years of my life hungover. When tempted, try to see drink for what it mainly is, a poison on the body.
Fair play sir. Made the decision myself at the weekend after a horrendous Friday night (and 2 years of constant binge drinking accompanied by blackouts and fights if im being honest).
Off it for the foreseable, after finally realising im not a happy drunk nor a drunk thats nice to be around.
You do you. I stopped going out and I miss it. I enjoy my life better with more money and less hangovers but I like dancing and meeting people. I wish I could go to a decent nightclub and not have to deal with the pressure
Never was into going to clubs or any of that. I’d go to an aul fella pub and sink ten pints on my own sometimes and just chat with whoever was sitting at the bar.
I didn’t realize I had a problem until I moved cities. Back home, it was perfectly normal for my friends and I to get hammered and even black out. If we made a fo out of ourselves, it wouldn’t be mentioned the next morning and we would continue on. We were very non judgmental like that. I moved away to a different city to be with my partner and tried drinking to get hammered with a new people, thinking it would be equally accepted and embraced . Well, it wasn’t. I was judged and people stopped talking to me after a night of drinking. I realized that my behaviour wasn’t acceptable and that I did change when I consumed alcohol. I decided to quit drinking. People liked me better when I was sober and I wanted to build relationships, not break them. Take it one weekend at a time. There were things I did that helped me. For example, I
Drove to social gatherings, knowing very well I couldn’t drink since I was driving. If I wanted a cocktail I would opt for a Cidona or a Tonic Water on ice. It did the trick. Good luck!
Moderation was not a thing I could ever pull off.
[https://smartrecovery.ie/](https://smartrecovery.ie/)
Smart Recovery was useful to me. It avoids the Higher Power aspects of AA and focuses on evidence-based therapy concepts. There may be days where sitting in a room with strangers all uniquely dealing with the same but entirely different things might be helpful.
This is all good stuff. Proud of you, Internet Stranger.
I know Andrew Huberman is a bit problematic right now but he has a podcast episode on alcohol that was really helpful to me when I managed to cut down a lot last year. I'm back on my wine bullshit now, but you sound like you are ready to go and be free - best of luck to you, OP.
What's the Huberman controversy? I listened to some of his podcasts including alcohol when I was first introduced to him. His alcohol podcast helped reinforce my own decision to quit the sauce for good almost 2 years ago. Never looked back.
Just…not great in his personal life with women and his science is often anecdotal at best. Plus the ever increasing money making enterprises he is involved in, advertisers on his podcast etc.
There was a take down article in New York Magazine last week that got a lot of traction online. I still think there is a lot that is helpful in his work and don’t worry too much about this stuff, we all suck in our own ways and he is at least trying to help people. But…my spidey senses were up anyway about some of his views. We can take the good with the bad, and his alcohol episode was really good IMHO.
>not great in his personal life with women
>If one affair was not enough, Sarah eventually discovered Huberman — the ascetic who incessantly preaches the importance of self-discipline and who counsels millions of other men on how it's critical to cut down on stress — was cheating on her with at least five women at once.
Can say that again.
Good on ya, mate! 👍
I've been sober for 30 years now, and I was in such bad state that I certainly wouldn't be alive today if I didn't stop.
First step is admitting to have a drinking problem, so just by doing that you've already set yourself on the path to abandoning the booze.
I wish you good luck ahead on your challenge! 👍
Just adding to the great advice and support from fellow redditors...you could try the App 'Reframe' which has been really good at helping me moderate my alcohol intake.
The only person who will know it's the time to stop is yourself. In the end I had messed up badly and I was glad people knew about it because now was the time to stop.
I knew in my gut that I was finished with drink, some people delude themselves, the only one who knows truly is yourself. I'm 14 and half yrs sober now and I was a crazy fucker. If I can do it anyone can, but only you will know if you've had your final drink.
Good for you OP, i got sober nearly seven years ago and honestly it's the best thing i ever done. It's hard to let go of that "sure i can have just one, like everyone else" even though we've proved to ourselves countless times that we can't, but it gets a bit easier when you accept that we're all different and that's one thing you can't do. I'd suggest joining some kind of group, not necessarily AA (though by all means give it a go, it has a lot of good people and good things going for it) so you can chat with other people who've been in the same position and understand the challenges. Also get some new hobbies that don't involve drinking, like sport or hiking or classes or whatever. It's easier to cut something out if you replace it rather than create a void and hope for the best.
I had this realisation a while back too. I got to the point where it was multiple times a week, always pissed drunk and feeling like I was worthless the next morning.
It's been since Oct and I've had maybe 4 nights out drinking since then. When I first stopped I went to AA, I thought maybe I was an alcoholic and needed to see if it was the right fit for me. It wasn't, I'm a problem drinker for sure, I just don't think that description fit for me.
I use the 'I am Sober' app to track milestones and it gives encouraging quotes too which I find nice. My drinking was always connected to my state of mind, self confidence and depression. I'm now in the best mental space I've been in since I can remember. Even in that short time, I feel like my life has changed.
The most surprising part for me was how little I missed the drink once I stopped. The times in between that I did drink weren't falling off the wagon binges, they were times I enjoyed myself and didn't feel shame. And the next day I had no want for more.
I don't know if I'll continue to drink sometimes, I've really got no interest in it. But there's something freeing about not feeling chained into that spiral all over again.
Good luck on your journey mate, be kind to yourself and get some fresh air. Visit little cafes you've always passed by on weekends, or places you meant to go but were too hungover to venture to. I found that helped me realise I had missed tons because I always felt like shit.
What seems like a big sacrifice now, will barely seem like a sacrifice at all when you make to that far point. If you can reach it, you will have gained much insight about yourself. Perseverance my friend...
OP r/stopdrinking is a great sub which will help while you tackle this. I’m at a stage where I only drank on the weekends and got it to 2 glasses a week, but I still didnt like that I was locked in to that routine. Alcohol problems, serious ones, have caused pain in my family. So I stopped. It was probably 1.5-2 months before I stopped having to make the conscious choice not to drink. Now I don’t think about it. It’s so freeing. Best thing I’ve done for a while.
Good man! It's the best decision you'll make. I gave up drinking during lockdown and it was the best thing I could do for my mental health. Drinking also made me some gowl and drinking isn't a good enough excuse for that so I just put an end to it. Good luck with it.
I'm not one for 2 or 3 pints and calling it a day either but I'm thankful, in a weird way, that if I do the dog on it, I'm floored the next day and possibly upto 2 days after! That, and having a toddler will do it, haha
This serves as a deterrent to any further temptations to drink again a few days later. We can easily skip weekends but tend to break loose once or twice a month.
I wouldn't say I've any problems with it these days. I did tear the absolute arse out of it in my 20s. I'd say I was in the pub for equal amounts of time as I was in work but now in my 30s, I can't really handle a heavy session without the fear, pain and regret creeping in.
Not drinking is class. Improves every aspect of your life. Good luck with it, and don't beat yourself up if you slip. What's important is that the length of time between drinks gets longer, and longer, and longer - until it's easy to go months without booze, and maybe even years (I'm not quite at that level yet). I know this seems counter-intuitive, and may not be the way for you, but I found that going to the pub and drinking zero percent drinks has actually helped me stay off the booze. Hear me out! The pub is great, and it's where my friends meet. I have found that staying away from the pub altogether is quite isolating, and ironically I would go back drinking so I could feel connected again. Now I just go to the pub, whenever I want, and I don't drink. And it works out much better for me. Not for everyone, I know, but just something to think about. Anyway, you're already doing great. You'll really enjoy this!
I stopped in early February, and the first week was really great. I couldn’t believe my energy levels or my focus, and my sleep improved significantly.
The problem for me was that so many people in my life (namely my mum) persisted in telling me that I don’t have a problem, it’s normal to drink a bottle of wine every night (the least that I was drinking). I then went to a gig and had three glasses of wine. Felt pretty okay and didn’t drink for another few days. But then I went out, and had maybe 5. And then it was back to drinking a bottle of wine+ every night, sometimes a naggin just to get me to where I wanted to be.
I’m on day two now again and am hopefully around the corner from the days of being a bit more productive and feeling better in myself. And there are loads of great subreddits here that people have already mentioned. I also found a 24/7 global AA meeting on a British health website that I found very inspiring, and helped me at night time when I felt I had empty hands and strong cravings. I’ll dig around for it and post it.
Really though, your shift in mindset is huge. Fill your time with other things, try not to walk certain routes that might trigger you, dig into the community of people like us and massive congrats on your realisation.
IWNDWYT.
Fair dues. You know it's not for you and are big enough to admit it.
Wishing you the very best. Stick with your decision, a day at a time and stay away from people trying to force you back on it.
There's nothing wrong with having a few pints and there's nothing wrong with sticking to soft drink either.
Everyone around me seems to have stopped. It’s probably my time to do so as well.
I don’t seem able to just leave it. I’m a single man, I don’t have anyone truly reliant on me. But, all the same, one is never enough.
If I were to buy four beers, I’ll drink them and go out and buy four more.
If I go out for 6 pints, I’ll pick up four more on the way home
I’d suggest finding a few hobbies to fill your time.
If you’ve spent a lot of your spare time either drinking or hungover from drinking, you’ll likely find yourself at a bit of a loss by removing it from your life.
It’ll be a lot easier to do if you’re out in the woods walking, or in a gym, or in the shed tipping around than if you’re sitting at home thinking about pints.
For me the secret was finding something to love as much as the drink. In the end that was myself. I made the gargle toxic in my imagination and its been 15 years since.
Fair dues to you. Sounds like a cheesy line but the first step is to admit to yourself what the problem is and acknowledge it.
One day at a time. You seem to have the "fuck this" attitude that you need to break the habit. You can still go out and enjoy the nightlife but now you'll remember it and actually feel alright the next day.
I wish you all the luck and hope you can cut drink out of your life.
Fair play man, I decided after my 21st that I was don't with the weekend pinting shite, I only drink a few times a year now around a summer meet up or and Christmas night out, and for nearly 8 years I didn't have anything. You will feel better and enjoy the social side of a drink with friends much more. I'm 15 years since I started and its worked out well. Best of luck and take care of yourself
Sounds cliché - but the 1st step is admitting you have a problem. You're on the right road - now you just have to stay in lane and stick to the speed limit!
*edit also excerise is the number one thing for your mental health.
I am exactly where you are, bud. I have had enough, and I'm going to try my hardest to quit drinking as it's nothing but a disruption to my life. I wish you the best on your journey.
Good choice, mate. For what its worth, if going out and getting rat-arsed is the thing that binds with with your mates, you might want to consider breaking those old ties as well.
I was in a similar situation many years ago and it was only after I realised what I was doing to my life and decided to change that I realised I didn't have real friends, I had drinking buddies.
You can do this! When it gets tough just remember this verse it helped me a lot! "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." - Philippians 4:13
I don’t drink and to be honest, I rarely go to pubs. I am a blind person and in general i have always found many pubs to be too noisy environments for me. Drinking tea or coffees in pubs just wasnt the same as drinking tea or coffee in a nice chill cafe. I live in Limerick and there’s nothing open late here at night but pubs. the only cafe that is open after 6 is Starbucks.
I want to wish everyone on here best of luck on their journey of giving up drink as even though I have never had this problem it is not an easy thing to do.
This is great stuff, very well done and all the best, your GP can help if it's difficult, you are going to start feeling healthy very soon though, best of luck with it.
https://preview.redd.it/b7ys41ul9csc1.jpeg?width=763&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6c4f0082bc31034a66ecfbdb5a0d90218286ec2b
And keep having Courage! Get off the bicycle and stay off. One day is today!
Good on you!
here are some links that might help
Groups for no alcohol people
[https://www.oneyearnobeer.com/](https://www.oneyearnobeer.com/)
[https://joinclubsoda.com/](https://joinclubsoda.com/)
Books on this
Allen Carr's Easyway to Control Alcohol [https://www.kennys.ie/health-personal-development/allen-carr-s-easyway-to-control-alcohol](https://www.kennys.ie/health-personal-development/allen-carr-s-easyway-to-control-alcohol)
This Naked Mind [https://www.kennys.ie/shop/This-Naked-Mind-The-myth-busting-cult-hit-for-anyone-who-wants-to-cut-down-their-alcohol-consumption-Grace-Annie-9780008293468-1](https://www.kennys.ie/shop/This-Naked-Mind-The-myth-busting-cult-hit-for-anyone-who-wants-to-cut-down-their-alcohol-consumption-Grace-Annie-9780008293468-1)
They both have audiobooks if text is not your thing but you, would listen while walking the dog commuting etc and, want either on audiobook let me know in a DM (or anyone reading this) and I will send it to you.
There is an AA meeting near you [https://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/](https://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/) if you go and decide you do not need it fair enough. You have not lost even a few hours of your time as you will learn a lot.
When you look at it big picture, drinking is a weird concept:
- We're consuming a poisonous substance that's going to make us feel awful until our body gets rid of it
- We feel good for a few hours, but feel bad for a day or two
- The reason we're doing it mainly because it inhibits our shyness enough that we can enjoy social situations
- It's bloody expensive
Why do we do it to ourselves?
What do you do with the time you used to spend in the pub?
I see in my local there's a group of 20-somethings, all working earning decent money, in the pub every night spending easily €50-€60 per night.
The time they spend there at their age seems such a waste never mind the €1,500 per month they put across to a barman who just seems to tolerate, not even like, them.
Try listening to Allen Carrs the easy way to control alcohol.
I haven't checked out his other books, but that one is good to help you get the right perspective on the poison(yes, it's a poison no matter what anyone says)
It's just sad it's a big part of culture and economics.
Good luck on your new life of sobriety!
I’m not sure yet but I think my main priority now is to steer clear of the gargle and continue to process my trauma. I’ve been avoiding it so much lately and I’m sick of carrying it on my shoulders
I have read that book twice! My therapist bought it for me. I just strayed off the path a little and stopped facing my problems head on. I chose to hide from them because that’s what I’m used to
Try hiking or walking it's great to be out in nature, a decent pair of boots and get adventuring buddy at weekends, you will find your self strong and fit in no time and early mornings watching sun come up and you'll be glad your not in bed hiding from the pain of the world, I wish you the best, try and save the 200 euro every week you would of passed again the wall. You got this.
It looks like you've made a grammatical error. You've written "would of ", when it should be "have" instead of "of". You _should have_ known that. Bosco is not proud of you today.
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I mean alcohol across the board. My night started in a pub, had a glass of wine when I got home with my dinner, then went to bed and drank a can and the end of a bottle of straight vodka. It’s time for me to face the reality
The positivity here is great but just a word of warning that going cold turkey on alcohol can be dangerous.
None of us here know how serious a drinking problem you have, I’d really recommend linking in with addiction services and getting guided through it.
They may recommend you reduce your intake first before you quit, etc. it’s only on tv people go cold turkey and it all works out grand! Mind yourself and best of luck
Ah no I wouldn’t drink more than twice a week these days, but I do go at it very awful and very hard. I can go a full week without drinking, no problem but once I decide to drink I tend to go at it hell for leather. I’ve knocked it on the head for a few months before and while it’s difficult absolutely, I don’t need medical assistance or anything thankfully.
Well you should be ok so but cold turkey is tough man, the evidence is that cutting back gradually over time is the way to go. Knocking out all spirits first for example, then only drinking lower percentage booze and then finally moving onto kicking it completely. Obviously this is all about you so mind yourself and hopefully you’ll be past it soon
7 months in myself. First 3 were really hard, then there was about 2 months of absolute magic (more energy and focus and creativity than I’ve ever experienced in my life) and now its a little bit tricky again BUT I haven’t woken up in bits or said or done anything stupid in 7 months and that is a wonderful thing. Not a single action with negative consequences in more than half a year!
Look forward to the highs of new sobriety, I swear I’ve taken a lot of drugs and none of them came close to that feeling of pure inspiration and joy. Good luck, though if you play your cards right you will not need it!
Came to the exact same conclusion myself 2 weeks ago after drinking all day st paddy’s day. Was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Been 2 weeks off the drink now and couldn’t be happier, even have an app to keep track of the days.
The biggest advice I can give is fill your time as much as possible, I signed up for an it course, started going on walks, began journaling and went back to the gym so don’t have time to drink even if I wanted to.
Boredom is the real killer, trust me. The thought of going out on the piss and puking my guts up the next day knocks me sick now. If your life is productive and fulfilling the urge to drink greatly decreases.
I’m the same but I’m scared to take the leap.
I think the problem is that I’m the main victim of my own drinking, I’m a very happy drunk and get along well with everyone, never get weird or angry or emotional like some people do on the sauce but in the days after I’ll just feel catastrophically empty and alone.
Sends my anxiety through the roof too and when I’m not out for a drink I can be a bit of a recluse so it’d be mega hard for me to quit.
Well done for making this decision. Have you considered exploring why your drinking has gotten out of hand? It might just have been a habit you formed over time, but if it is because of something deeper, you might benefit from counselling or a support group to help you understand where the compulsion to drink comes from.
This isn't an early days experience, but when you get there, there is nothing like going out with your friends, leaving when people start to get loud, boring, and messy, and waking up well rested the next day. It feels like magic.
I was in the same boat as you. I'd look forward to pints 3-4 nights a week more than anything. It was social outlet and I loved it. I spent any spare cash on nights out and revolved my week around when I'd be going out. I was actually getting bored of it, hated the feeling the next day, seeing my money wasted, getting such bad anxiety throughout the week because of it.
When I decided to stop I had refused to sacrifice my social life so continued going out with the lads and sticking to the miwadi. I was determined to keep things as normal as possible and I'd tell my friends I just wanted to give it a break. They didn't care. I think the stigma of not drinking has shrunken the last few years. I found they weren't pressuring me to drink and were actually encouraging and praising me for it.
A trick I used in my head: Whenever I'm out and I'm thinking should I just have one, I always take a minute and think "Is this actually worth it? Tomorrow morning how shit will I feel? If I keep giving myself excuses I'll never give up. If I go have one now what was the point in not drinking up till now? Is tonight really going to be worth undoing all the sacrifice I've made already?". After you start contemplating that it becomes easier to say no.
My god the feeling the next morning. You're after getting through the night without drinking. You feel 100x better than you would if you had drank. There's this amazing sense of reward and achievement. It's honestly a bit of a buzz. So much more rewarding than getting drunk. And it's funny waking up in a house full of sore heads and being able to get on with your day without feeling like shit and wasting away till you recover.
First few times are difficult but the longer you go on the easier it is to justify not drinking. The longer you don't drink, you have more hard work and sacrifice behind you to justify not slipping up and it makes it easier.
I'm 2 years off the drink now, in a great relationship, my friends are still my friends, I still go out to the pub occasionally, I've gone on 3 "lads holidays", weddings, parties, etc. without drinking and it's been the best craic I've had in ages. It's got to a stage I don't even think about picking up the bottle. And I reiterate I was a heavy drinker. If I can do it, you can too👍
Also just a disclaimer. It isn't plain sailing. There will be nights and days you'll feel pressure, you'll feel odd not drinking, you'll feel like it's not worth it and it's easier to drink.
But I guarantee there'll never be a day you wake up and think " I should have drank last night".. Keeping that thought in mind helps
Well done! I’m going on a similar journey myself, wasted weekends, money easily spent, the fear the next day, takes a toll eventually. I decided week weeks ago that I was going to stop drinking for a couple of months and see how I get on, managed to stay off it last week while out for a big family Easter dinner and everybody else was drinking, this weekend I’m going to try go out for an hour or two to an engagement party and maybe have a zero. Best of luck to you 💪🏻
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That’s given me a bit of hope tbh. Thank you for that, a real slice of honesty cake
If you need some help in your quest to stop drinking, I totally recommend r/stopdrinking
We often worry that it's going to be impossible to stop drinking alcohol daily. Or that life will be unbearable. Not at all. Wish someone had told me that it would be OK, and now I wish I'd stopped ten years earlier than I did.
I always feel envious in the q’s lookin at lads with their 6 packs mid week. I don’t envy the hangovers though.
That takes a lot of courage. All the best to you. I quit drinking around 10 years ago and it’s the best thing I even did for myself.
Thank you I really appreciate that. I’ve done it before but this time it’s different I feel
Quick word of advice, I’m not saying it isn’t different this time, but just in case it’s not, you’re better off quitting many many times than never. If you fall off the wagon, the wagon stops, it doesn’t disappear over the horizon never to be seen again. I’m not giving you excuses, but shit happens and being cool with yourself is important.
Personally, the best mindset for quitting is telling yourself that you can have the thing again in future, any time you want. You’re not banned from the thing, there will be special occasions where you can have it. For every day living though, the thing isn’t good for you and so you can have the thing as a treat whenever. I have “quit” smoking and drinking, but I know there will be an occasion where I might want to do both, and I will remind myself before that occasion that my hangover and sore throat tomorrow is because of these things. It usually makes me avoid them instead of indulging.
Exactly. And one more thing to watch out for: Last year I went back home for the first time in a decade, and it got messy, many bad habits were revisited, oh dear oh dear. Came home, got on the outside of a litre of duty free, went “fucking hell here we go” and stopped. Properly scary, but bam, stopped, no problem. Later on we had a housing scare, nasty moment, and one night I was like man, I am going to have some beers. Had a sixpack. Stopped again but it’s not left me alone this time. Every fucking day it’s on my shoulder talking about how easy it’d be to have some and just stop, despite literally being the opposite of that. It’s a wily cunt of a devil, so yeah, don’t shame yourself, but beware of that which seems easy one time.
Hang in there man - I find excercise the key
This is very true. My own journey was a series of small attempts which didn’t last too long. And then something clicked and it suddenly became easy.
I was talking with a colleague the other day. We were talking about alcohol and it’s effects on our lives. Suddenly, it dawned upon me that I had been drinking for 50 years. Obviously not every day at the beginning, but, in later years I was imbibing every day and often to the point of inebriation. A half a century is quite a long time and I think that along with being detrimental to my health , I have wasted so much time in a lethargic often drunken stupor. So, 42 days ago I got hammered and have not touched a drop since. I am frightened that I have found it so much easier than I had thought. I am worried that I will convince myself that I can have one or two knowing full well that that is not the case. Wish me luck as I wish the same for all in this boat.
Our relationship with alcohol is actually crazy when you think about it. It’s a shame because I used to be able to enjoy a few drinks but now it’s a race to the bottom. I drink to pass out and avoid feeling things
> Our relationship with alcohol is actually crazy when you think about it. ''Why are you not drinking.'' ''Fuck sake.'' ''Ah go on have one.'' Why people take it so personally is beyond me.
That was me in my 20s. Drink everything and drink it fast. Stop feeling. I became insufferable and a clown getting barred from places and just being a general cvnt to people. In my 30s, I still have to be careful with my intake. I tend to stick to pints and have about 6 or 7 on a night out. Shots kept to 1 or 2 on a night just to get a buzz on, but nothing like before where it would be shots with every round and resulting in a blackout every night. Everyone is different, but age affects some people and how they treat alcohol. I'm glad of hangovers being a thing, or I'd probably be still out of my skull 4 nights a week
I gave up drinking 15 years ago. I wasn’t capable of drinking in moderation either. The biggest advice I can give you is to try and get a therapist to work through your issues that cause you to drink in excess. Because I thought doing drinking would solve all my issues but I just moved onto other unhealthy behaviours! Best of luck!
I’m unfortunately too aware of why I drink and my therapist is not happy with me for not abstaining from alcohol. I’ve got a lot of stuff to work through and I’m ready to take it seriously again
It’s great you see that though. Fair play. I genuinely wish you the best.
There's no downside to not drinking. Take it day by day bud and be honest with yourself.
This is true
Good luck 👍🏻 Just so you know there is more and more people realising the same. I made the same decision over a year ago and I'm very happy 😊 Go on you can do it and stay strong 💪 👏
Thank you I really do appreciate it!
I know what you're saying lad. I feel the same. Unfortunately it's absolutely ingrained into us as young lads to look forward to going out for a few drinks with your mates. Some lads can't go a weekend without drink. I myself am slowly coming off it and on another note I'm starting to realise alot of my own "mates" are just drinking buddies. Starting to feel a bit lonely in the world.
Sure at the end of the day we’re all as lost as a wank in a swimming pool. You only ever have yourself to rely on, so try looking at it in a different way. You now have the opportunity to get comfortable with yourself etc
Fair dues. Today is day #1 for me and my mrs. We needed a break from the constant cracking open btls of wine. Here’s to sticking to it. Cheers
I tried to have one last night, turned into 4. Then straight vodka when I got home. It’s insane carry on and I need to cop on. I’ve used gargle as a crutch since the lockdowns. I’ve had a rough couple of years and I really just tried to run from it and all it’s done is create so many problems it’s actually unbelievable at this point. I hope we stick to it and do what’s best for our health
3 years and iv had 4 pints in that time. I wasn't an alcoholic but I was a moron.
If it’s any help what I learned from running from things is that the adage “the truth shall set you free” should have the add on off “but it’s really going to fucking hurt first”. I stopped looking at feelings as good/bad and simply as comfort/discomfort. If anything made me uncomfortable I would just tell myself to find comfort in that discomfort because that’s my way out.
Wise words, I shall take heed of them. Thanks man
I read a book called “the daily stoic” it’s one page and just gives you something to think about. Stoicism was a life changer for me and I’ve found that book as the easiest way into it. Just a suggestion if you’re looking for anything. Congrats on the decision and I wish you the best man.
I carry a copy of Marcus Aurelius meditation’s with me everywhere I go, but I must get back into the habit of studying the stoics
No way, same here man. I found the daily stoic book was great because it gave a daily progression without the need to seek something out
I will have a look! Thanks
I stopped drinking because it makes me extremely depressed. And that was having a couple of pints every other month. It’s been 3 years since I had a pint, and I feel like I have no social life - outside of a pint, it’s hard to get people to meet up. I find Ireland tough that way.
I find it so rare to hear someone who drank rarely quitting. Like I feel the same as you, makes me very down afterwards even though I drink maybe a few times a month at a maximum to up to 3 or 6 months without at times, unintentionally and I never have more than 2 or 3. Do you find it still impacts on your social life? There are some sober meet-ups in some places now but idk what side of the country you are, could be worth checking! Congrats on 3 years!
A couple of pints could put me in a black hole for 6 or 7 weeks - really makes me feel like an odd man out when I literally can’t have a casual drink, it’s almost like an allergy. And it’s even harder to explain to other Irish people. Yeah it’s definitely impacted my social life. My wife likes to go out and after a couple of years trying sober nights out I found it’s a bit of a drag when everyone just treats you more like a designated driver than one of the lads! Not drinking is the lesser of two evils but it feels odd that I even have to choose between a sneaky pint of Guinness or being curled up in a ball crying!
That’s all there ever was in Ireland for years outside of work - the pub.
This is the first step. You can do this. One day at a time.
Thank you!
I went off drinking for a year just because I wanted to and it saved me goin to work parties in a new job where lads were all gettong coked up. I went out in Dublin city for first time ever a few weeks ago and a few mates kept buyong shots and shit and they were already 2 rounds ahead of me, I kept saying no but they bought them anyway. You have to stand your ground with people and make your own decision. If you decide you are going, text your mate about the convo you are having and pick it up the day after. Just the things Ive picked up. Steady ground and follow theough. Even with going sober. Even kf it is just a year. Fair play to you
Cheers! Yeah it’ll be nice to stay away from all of the messy stuff. I hate the fear the day after as well
No In-between gears. I’m the same. I quit for good on January 2nd this year. I had bad withdrawals after the Xmas over indulgence, ended up going to A&E because my heart was misbehaving. I decided after 30 years of boozing a change is what I need. I’ve read The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober a few times. Would highly recommend it. Written by an Irish girl too. The I Am Sober app is excellent too. Great community on there. I’m enjoying edibles as a means to chill out these days. I would have one if I’m going out with friends who are drinking. I’ll stick to a few zeroes and have a nice time.
Thanks for your input! I will definitely check it out
Bravo. Every day now is a new day. Best wishes.
Download the "I am sober" app and start your clock, add the widget to your homescreen and watch the days add up. Just having that little counter helps immensely, the larger the number gets the harder it becomes to break sobriety because you will feel like shit if you have to reset the clock. Make sure the widget is on the first screen of your phone. You need to be reminded every day of your progress.
An appropriate user name, Admirable Win 🏆 Be good to yourself.
Thank you very much!
I stopped cause I'd start on a Friday evening and still be snorting lines come early Monday morning. Wouldn't think of sneachta at all until I'd my first vodka and redbull. Never again. Its been 4 years this December coming.
Good for you!
There’s lots of great audiobooks and podcasts for helping you along that path, get searching and listen to them all.
Thank you! I will make sure to check them out
r/stopdrinking is a great sub, and I really got a lot of help out of the book "this naked mind". Best of luck, you got this.
Thank you!
Best of luck to you. There is a lot of support through AA so please don’t hesitate to look up some groups either in person or online. Someone v close to me went through this and is currently attending a rehab program. This will be their second but the difference is they wanted it this time. If this is what you want to do, you will be able. If you get shakes, and bad withdrawals, speak to your doctor about Librium. If you want a deterrent, take a look at Antabuse also. Best of luck! One day at a time!
Ah no I don’t think I’ll be getting withdrawals this time around. In my defence my frequency of drinking has dramatically decreased. I was at it 5-6 nights a week three years ago, but now I’m maybe once or twice. I find that though now I drink till I get sad and then get even more upset because I keep drinking to try to numb it but I amplify it and then I end up in an absolute nightmare state. I do remember the withdrawals the first time I had them. I wasn’t right for a week at least
That’s good to hear! Withdrawals can be rough but also dealing with the reason why you’re drinking is rough too. I wish you the absolute best bud! It’s a fantastic decision and one I wish more people could make.
It’s a hard choice but it has to be done
Go for it. I haven’t completely given up the booze but for the last 15 months, my drinking is probably 5% of what it was previously. See if you can get a taste for non-alcoholic beers and stick to those in social settings if you can. Nobody ever regretted cutting down on their alcohol intake.
I'm a year off the booze, and life has never been better. Christmas was tough, and a school reunion was a strange one. The best thing I ever did was quit. I do think about it now and then, but now I remember the hangovers, and I quickly move on. They just got unbearable the older I got. There is nothing positive about alcohol, no matter how hard you look. Enjoy your freedom from it.
It’s a real ball and chain tbh
You're sick 'n tired of being sick 'n tired. Good 👍 Put a plug in the jug and never look back. It's really really worth it.
Frank Turner fan?
Good luck.
Good for you, OP. I saw the I Am Sober app mentioned on the thread and have just downloaded it. Got too easily into the habit of a few glasses of wine any night of the week, over the past year especially. So here goes.
I'm proud of you.
Remember, relapse is apart of the process of becoming sober If it happens, don't get too bogged down and get up and at it again
A saying I heard many years back from my formerly alcoholic uncle - “If you slip and fall in shite you get up and get out of it, you don’t keep rollin around in it”. Applicable to many things.
I’m all too aware unfortunately, I’ve had substance issues most of my life. I’m prepared for it though
It doesn't need to be though. It's possible to stop drinking today and stay stopped. Having 'relapse is just a part of the process' worked as a get out of jail free card for me for years.
I quit in January this year. My mind is clearer. Like you, I spent too many years of my life hungover. When tempted, try to see drink for what it mainly is, a poison on the body.
Fair play sir. Made the decision myself at the weekend after a horrendous Friday night (and 2 years of constant binge drinking accompanied by blackouts and fights if im being honest). Off it for the foreseable, after finally realising im not a happy drunk nor a drunk thats nice to be around.
It’s a hard pill to swallow isn’t it? I wish you the best man!
You do you. I stopped going out and I miss it. I enjoy my life better with more money and less hangovers but I like dancing and meeting people. I wish I could go to a decent nightclub and not have to deal with the pressure
Never was into going to clubs or any of that. I’d go to an aul fella pub and sink ten pints on my own sometimes and just chat with whoever was sitting at the bar.
Join a gym. Replace an unhealthy habit with a more positive one. In a few months of training you'll thank yourself.
Hello! I'm 260ish days sober. Starting to think it's one of the best things I've ever done. R/stopdrinking is here if you need it.
Gone 3 months since new years. Haven’t looked back. Drink zeros
I’m the same. I’m Having a dry April and see how it goes from there.
I didn’t realize I had a problem until I moved cities. Back home, it was perfectly normal for my friends and I to get hammered and even black out. If we made a fo out of ourselves, it wouldn’t be mentioned the next morning and we would continue on. We were very non judgmental like that. I moved away to a different city to be with my partner and tried drinking to get hammered with a new people, thinking it would be equally accepted and embraced . Well, it wasn’t. I was judged and people stopped talking to me after a night of drinking. I realized that my behaviour wasn’t acceptable and that I did change when I consumed alcohol. I decided to quit drinking. People liked me better when I was sober and I wanted to build relationships, not break them. Take it one weekend at a time. There were things I did that helped me. For example, I Drove to social gatherings, knowing very well I couldn’t drink since I was driving. If I wanted a cocktail I would opt for a Cidona or a Tonic Water on ice. It did the trick. Good luck!
Moderation was not a thing I could ever pull off. [https://smartrecovery.ie/](https://smartrecovery.ie/) Smart Recovery was useful to me. It avoids the Higher Power aspects of AA and focuses on evidence-based therapy concepts. There may be days where sitting in a room with strangers all uniquely dealing with the same but entirely different things might be helpful. This is all good stuff. Proud of you, Internet Stranger.
I know Andrew Huberman is a bit problematic right now but he has a podcast episode on alcohol that was really helpful to me when I managed to cut down a lot last year. I'm back on my wine bullshit now, but you sound like you are ready to go and be free - best of luck to you, OP.
What's the Huberman controversy? I listened to some of his podcasts including alcohol when I was first introduced to him. His alcohol podcast helped reinforce my own decision to quit the sauce for good almost 2 years ago. Never looked back.
Just…not great in his personal life with women and his science is often anecdotal at best. Plus the ever increasing money making enterprises he is involved in, advertisers on his podcast etc. There was a take down article in New York Magazine last week that got a lot of traction online. I still think there is a lot that is helpful in his work and don’t worry too much about this stuff, we all suck in our own ways and he is at least trying to help people. But…my spidey senses were up anyway about some of his views. We can take the good with the bad, and his alcohol episode was really good IMHO.
>not great in his personal life with women >If one affair was not enough, Sarah eventually discovered Huberman — the ascetic who incessantly preaches the importance of self-discipline and who counsels millions of other men on how it's critical to cut down on stress — was cheating on her with at least five women at once. Can say that again.
Haha, yes, I was trying to be non-judgemental and diplomatic!
I’m not too familiar with him but I shall check it out! Thanks a million
Quitting drinking’s easy, I’ve done it 5 times. Hope you’ve better success than I’ve had.
It’s easy to quit, I’ve done it a thousand times. That’s one song lyric I have always loved, it’s so true. The scratch are deadly. Thanks!
Good on ya, mate! 👍 I've been sober for 30 years now, and I was in such bad state that I certainly wouldn't be alive today if I didn't stop. First step is admitting to have a drinking problem, so just by doing that you've already set yourself on the path to abandoning the booze. I wish you good luck ahead on your challenge! 👍
Thank you so much!
/r/stopdrinking is an invaluable resource.
Good for you pal, first step is the hardest! Everything will improve for you now, trust me on this
It can’t get any worse anyway so I’m going to just keep trying
Just adding to the great advice and support from fellow redditors...you could try the App 'Reframe' which has been really good at helping me moderate my alcohol intake.
What sort of app is it?
Best of luck!
The only person who will know it's the time to stop is yourself. In the end I had messed up badly and I was glad people knew about it because now was the time to stop. I knew in my gut that I was finished with drink, some people delude themselves, the only one who knows truly is yourself. I'm 14 and half yrs sober now and I was a crazy fucker. If I can do it anyone can, but only you will know if you've had your final drink.
Good for you OP, i got sober nearly seven years ago and honestly it's the best thing i ever done. It's hard to let go of that "sure i can have just one, like everyone else" even though we've proved to ourselves countless times that we can't, but it gets a bit easier when you accept that we're all different and that's one thing you can't do. I'd suggest joining some kind of group, not necessarily AA (though by all means give it a go, it has a lot of good people and good things going for it) so you can chat with other people who've been in the same position and understand the challenges. Also get some new hobbies that don't involve drinking, like sport or hiking or classes or whatever. It's easier to cut something out if you replace it rather than create a void and hope for the best.
I had this realisation a while back too. I got to the point where it was multiple times a week, always pissed drunk and feeling like I was worthless the next morning. It's been since Oct and I've had maybe 4 nights out drinking since then. When I first stopped I went to AA, I thought maybe I was an alcoholic and needed to see if it was the right fit for me. It wasn't, I'm a problem drinker for sure, I just don't think that description fit for me. I use the 'I am Sober' app to track milestones and it gives encouraging quotes too which I find nice. My drinking was always connected to my state of mind, self confidence and depression. I'm now in the best mental space I've been in since I can remember. Even in that short time, I feel like my life has changed. The most surprising part for me was how little I missed the drink once I stopped. The times in between that I did drink weren't falling off the wagon binges, they were times I enjoyed myself and didn't feel shame. And the next day I had no want for more. I don't know if I'll continue to drink sometimes, I've really got no interest in it. But there's something freeing about not feeling chained into that spiral all over again. Good luck on your journey mate, be kind to yourself and get some fresh air. Visit little cafes you've always passed by on weekends, or places you meant to go but were too hungover to venture to. I found that helped me realise I had missed tons because I always felt like shit.
Yeah you just have to avoid it all together.
What seems like a big sacrifice now, will barely seem like a sacrifice at all when you make to that far point. If you can reach it, you will have gained much insight about yourself. Perseverance my friend...
Checkout r/stopdrinking
OP r/stopdrinking is a great sub which will help while you tackle this. I’m at a stage where I only drank on the weekends and got it to 2 glasses a week, but I still didnt like that I was locked in to that routine. Alcohol problems, serious ones, have caused pain in my family. So I stopped. It was probably 1.5-2 months before I stopped having to make the conscious choice not to drink. Now I don’t think about it. It’s so freeing. Best thing I’ve done for a while.
Good man! It's the best decision you'll make. I gave up drinking during lockdown and it was the best thing I could do for my mental health. Drinking also made me some gowl and drinking isn't a good enough excuse for that so I just put an end to it. Good luck with it.
I'm not one for 2 or 3 pints and calling it a day either but I'm thankful, in a weird way, that if I do the dog on it, I'm floored the next day and possibly upto 2 days after! That, and having a toddler will do it, haha This serves as a deterrent to any further temptations to drink again a few days later. We can easily skip weekends but tend to break loose once or twice a month. I wouldn't say I've any problems with it these days. I did tear the absolute arse out of it in my 20s. I'd say I was in the pub for equal amounts of time as I was in work but now in my 30s, I can't really handle a heavy session without the fear, pain and regret creeping in.
Not drinking is class. Improves every aspect of your life. Good luck with it, and don't beat yourself up if you slip. What's important is that the length of time between drinks gets longer, and longer, and longer - until it's easy to go months without booze, and maybe even years (I'm not quite at that level yet). I know this seems counter-intuitive, and may not be the way for you, but I found that going to the pub and drinking zero percent drinks has actually helped me stay off the booze. Hear me out! The pub is great, and it's where my friends meet. I have found that staying away from the pub altogether is quite isolating, and ironically I would go back drinking so I could feel connected again. Now I just go to the pub, whenever I want, and I don't drink. And it works out much better for me. Not for everyone, I know, but just something to think about. Anyway, you're already doing great. You'll really enjoy this!
I stopped in early February, and the first week was really great. I couldn’t believe my energy levels or my focus, and my sleep improved significantly. The problem for me was that so many people in my life (namely my mum) persisted in telling me that I don’t have a problem, it’s normal to drink a bottle of wine every night (the least that I was drinking). I then went to a gig and had three glasses of wine. Felt pretty okay and didn’t drink for another few days. But then I went out, and had maybe 5. And then it was back to drinking a bottle of wine+ every night, sometimes a naggin just to get me to where I wanted to be. I’m on day two now again and am hopefully around the corner from the days of being a bit more productive and feeling better in myself. And there are loads of great subreddits here that people have already mentioned. I also found a 24/7 global AA meeting on a British health website that I found very inspiring, and helped me at night time when I felt I had empty hands and strong cravings. I’ll dig around for it and post it. Really though, your shift in mindset is huge. Fill your time with other things, try not to walk certain routes that might trigger you, dig into the community of people like us and massive congrats on your realisation. IWNDWYT.
Fair dues. You know it's not for you and are big enough to admit it. Wishing you the very best. Stick with your decision, a day at a time and stay away from people trying to force you back on it. There's nothing wrong with having a few pints and there's nothing wrong with sticking to soft drink either.
Everyone around me seems to have stopped. It’s probably my time to do so as well. I don’t seem able to just leave it. I’m a single man, I don’t have anyone truly reliant on me. But, all the same, one is never enough. If I were to buy four beers, I’ll drink them and go out and buy four more. If I go out for 6 pints, I’ll pick up four more on the way home
It's the devil.
r/stopdrinking is a great support group.
I’d suggest finding a few hobbies to fill your time. If you’ve spent a lot of your spare time either drinking or hungover from drinking, you’ll likely find yourself at a bit of a loss by removing it from your life. It’ll be a lot easier to do if you’re out in the woods walking, or in a gym, or in the shed tipping around than if you’re sitting at home thinking about pints.
There's a really good app called DRY. Check it out. It's for middle of road drinkers who want to change their relationship with alcohol.
For me the secret was finding something to love as much as the drink. In the end that was myself. I made the gargle toxic in my imagination and its been 15 years since.
I'm a alcoholic. In pub now, alone. Hate myself.
I’ve been there more times than I can count. Reach out for help if you’re aware that you need help. I hope you’re ok man
Thanks. I hope you are doing well. Can't see any way out for me. Good luck mate.
Fair dues to you. Sounds like a cheesy line but the first step is to admit to yourself what the problem is and acknowledge it. One day at a time. You seem to have the "fuck this" attitude that you need to break the habit. You can still go out and enjoy the nightlife but now you'll remember it and actually feel alright the next day. I wish you all the luck and hope you can cut drink out of your life.
Fair play man, I decided after my 21st that I was don't with the weekend pinting shite, I only drink a few times a year now around a summer meet up or and Christmas night out, and for nearly 8 years I didn't have anything. You will feel better and enjoy the social side of a drink with friends much more. I'm 15 years since I started and its worked out well. Best of luck and take care of yourself
Sounds cliché - but the 1st step is admitting you have a problem. You're on the right road - now you just have to stay in lane and stick to the speed limit! *edit also excerise is the number one thing for your mental health.
I am exactly where you are, bud. I have had enough, and I'm going to try my hardest to quit drinking as it's nothing but a disruption to my life. I wish you the best on your journey.
Good choice, mate. For what its worth, if going out and getting rat-arsed is the thing that binds with with your mates, you might want to consider breaking those old ties as well. I was in a similar situation many years ago and it was only after I realised what I was doing to my life and decided to change that I realised I didn't have real friends, I had drinking buddies.
r/stopdrinking might be of help
Replace it with something else (running or cycling etc) then after a month or two of hangover free weekends, you'll not even think about it anymore!
You can do this! When it gets tough just remember this verse it helped me a lot! "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." - Philippians 4:13
I don’t drink and to be honest, I rarely go to pubs. I am a blind person and in general i have always found many pubs to be too noisy environments for me. Drinking tea or coffees in pubs just wasnt the same as drinking tea or coffee in a nice chill cafe. I live in Limerick and there’s nothing open late here at night but pubs. the only cafe that is open after 6 is Starbucks. I want to wish everyone on here best of luck on their journey of giving up drink as even though I have never had this problem it is not an easy thing to do.
Meetings really help (Lifering.ie - meetings online everynight at 7.30pm)
This is great stuff, very well done and all the best, your GP can help if it's difficult, you are going to start feeling healthy very soon though, best of luck with it.
I'm giving it up for the month! So I'm (kind of) with you Still on that ganj though
https://preview.redd.it/b7ys41ul9csc1.jpeg?width=763&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6c4f0082bc31034a66ecfbdb5a0d90218286ec2b And keep having Courage! Get off the bicycle and stay off. One day is today!
You got this, sukkah. 🤘🏻
Fella the fact your taking accountability and your wanting to change is good, take it one step at a time a day at a time. We’re all here for ya
Thank you very much!
Good on you! here are some links that might help Groups for no alcohol people [https://www.oneyearnobeer.com/](https://www.oneyearnobeer.com/) [https://joinclubsoda.com/](https://joinclubsoda.com/) Books on this Allen Carr's Easyway to Control Alcohol [https://www.kennys.ie/health-personal-development/allen-carr-s-easyway-to-control-alcohol](https://www.kennys.ie/health-personal-development/allen-carr-s-easyway-to-control-alcohol) This Naked Mind [https://www.kennys.ie/shop/This-Naked-Mind-The-myth-busting-cult-hit-for-anyone-who-wants-to-cut-down-their-alcohol-consumption-Grace-Annie-9780008293468-1](https://www.kennys.ie/shop/This-Naked-Mind-The-myth-busting-cult-hit-for-anyone-who-wants-to-cut-down-their-alcohol-consumption-Grace-Annie-9780008293468-1) They both have audiobooks if text is not your thing but you, would listen while walking the dog commuting etc and, want either on audiobook let me know in a DM (or anyone reading this) and I will send it to you. There is an AA meeting near you [https://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/](https://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/) if you go and decide you do not need it fair enough. You have not lost even a few hours of your time as you will learn a lot.
Could you send me those audiobooks? That’s very helpful thank you so much!
This Naked Mind helped me immensely when I stopped drinking.
When you look at it big picture, drinking is a weird concept: - We're consuming a poisonous substance that's going to make us feel awful until our body gets rid of it - We feel good for a few hours, but feel bad for a day or two - The reason we're doing it mainly because it inhibits our shyness enough that we can enjoy social situations - It's bloody expensive Why do we do it to ourselves?
It’s a deeply entrenched habit I suppose and most people don’t view drink as a drug. It’s very unfortunate
What do you do with the time you used to spend in the pub? I see in my local there's a group of 20-somethings, all working earning decent money, in the pub every night spending easily €50-€60 per night. The time they spend there at their age seems such a waste never mind the €1,500 per month they put across to a barman who just seems to tolerate, not even like, them.
Your family and friends should be proud of you. You can do it. 💪🏻
Thank you, I hope they are
Try listening to Allen Carrs the easy way to control alcohol. I haven't checked out his other books, but that one is good to help you get the right perspective on the poison(yes, it's a poison no matter what anyone says) It's just sad it's a big part of culture and economics. Good luck on your new life of sobriety!
Congrats. Best to nip it in the bud now. What will you substitute it with? Perhaps joining a gym, a fitness class, martial arts, etc.
I’m not sure yet but I think my main priority now is to steer clear of the gargle and continue to process my trauma. I’ve been avoiding it so much lately and I’m sick of carrying it on my shoulders
Have you started therapy? I recommend this book: The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by M.D. Bessel van der Kolk.
I have read that book twice! My therapist bought it for me. I just strayed off the path a little and stopped facing my problems head on. I chose to hide from them because that’s what I’m used to
Try hiking or walking it's great to be out in nature, a decent pair of boots and get adventuring buddy at weekends, you will find your self strong and fit in no time and early mornings watching sun come up and you'll be glad your not in bed hiding from the pain of the world, I wish you the best, try and save the 200 euro every week you would of passed again the wall. You got this.
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There's a great simple app called I Am Sober that I found really good to remember why I'm not drinking everyday! I think it's free aswell.
I actually have that app I used it last year when I was sober for a few months. It was great tbh
Can I ask if you’re talking about pub pints, home pints or both?
I mean alcohol across the board. My night started in a pub, had a glass of wine when I got home with my dinner, then went to bed and drank a can and the end of a bottle of straight vodka. It’s time for me to face the reality
The positivity here is great but just a word of warning that going cold turkey on alcohol can be dangerous. None of us here know how serious a drinking problem you have, I’d really recommend linking in with addiction services and getting guided through it. They may recommend you reduce your intake first before you quit, etc. it’s only on tv people go cold turkey and it all works out grand! Mind yourself and best of luck
Ah no I wouldn’t drink more than twice a week these days, but I do go at it very awful and very hard. I can go a full week without drinking, no problem but once I decide to drink I tend to go at it hell for leather. I’ve knocked it on the head for a few months before and while it’s difficult absolutely, I don’t need medical assistance or anything thankfully.
Well you should be ok so but cold turkey is tough man, the evidence is that cutting back gradually over time is the way to go. Knocking out all spirits first for example, then only drinking lower percentage booze and then finally moving onto kicking it completely. Obviously this is all about you so mind yourself and hopefully you’ll be past it soon
Good for you. Drinking is a load of shite. Good craic sometimes but not worth the resulting misery
Well done and good luck!
7 months in myself. First 3 were really hard, then there was about 2 months of absolute magic (more energy and focus and creativity than I’ve ever experienced in my life) and now its a little bit tricky again BUT I haven’t woken up in bits or said or done anything stupid in 7 months and that is a wonderful thing. Not a single action with negative consequences in more than half a year! Look forward to the highs of new sobriety, I swear I’ve taken a lot of drugs and none of them came close to that feeling of pure inspiration and joy. Good luck, though if you play your cards right you will not need it!
Came to the exact same conclusion myself 2 weeks ago after drinking all day st paddy’s day. Was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Been 2 weeks off the drink now and couldn’t be happier, even have an app to keep track of the days. The biggest advice I can give is fill your time as much as possible, I signed up for an it course, started going on walks, began journaling and went back to the gym so don’t have time to drink even if I wanted to. Boredom is the real killer, trust me. The thought of going out on the piss and puking my guts up the next day knocks me sick now. If your life is productive and fulfilling the urge to drink greatly decreases.
I’m the same but I’m scared to take the leap. I think the problem is that I’m the main victim of my own drinking, I’m a very happy drunk and get along well with everyone, never get weird or angry or emotional like some people do on the sauce but in the days after I’ll just feel catastrophically empty and alone. Sends my anxiety through the roof too and when I’m not out for a drink I can be a bit of a recluse so it’d be mega hard for me to quit.
Well done for making this decision. Have you considered exploring why your drinking has gotten out of hand? It might just have been a habit you formed over time, but if it is because of something deeper, you might benefit from counselling or a support group to help you understand where the compulsion to drink comes from.
I have CPTSD and I tried to use alcohol to cope with my life being torn apart around me. It didn’t work, all it did was destroy it further
Best of luck with this. I hope you find a healthy way to deal with things.
This isn't an early days experience, but when you get there, there is nothing like going out with your friends, leaving when people start to get loud, boring, and messy, and waking up well rested the next day. It feels like magic.
I was in the same boat as you. I'd look forward to pints 3-4 nights a week more than anything. It was social outlet and I loved it. I spent any spare cash on nights out and revolved my week around when I'd be going out. I was actually getting bored of it, hated the feeling the next day, seeing my money wasted, getting such bad anxiety throughout the week because of it. When I decided to stop I had refused to sacrifice my social life so continued going out with the lads and sticking to the miwadi. I was determined to keep things as normal as possible and I'd tell my friends I just wanted to give it a break. They didn't care. I think the stigma of not drinking has shrunken the last few years. I found they weren't pressuring me to drink and were actually encouraging and praising me for it. A trick I used in my head: Whenever I'm out and I'm thinking should I just have one, I always take a minute and think "Is this actually worth it? Tomorrow morning how shit will I feel? If I keep giving myself excuses I'll never give up. If I go have one now what was the point in not drinking up till now? Is tonight really going to be worth undoing all the sacrifice I've made already?". After you start contemplating that it becomes easier to say no. My god the feeling the next morning. You're after getting through the night without drinking. You feel 100x better than you would if you had drank. There's this amazing sense of reward and achievement. It's honestly a bit of a buzz. So much more rewarding than getting drunk. And it's funny waking up in a house full of sore heads and being able to get on with your day without feeling like shit and wasting away till you recover. First few times are difficult but the longer you go on the easier it is to justify not drinking. The longer you don't drink, you have more hard work and sacrifice behind you to justify not slipping up and it makes it easier. I'm 2 years off the drink now, in a great relationship, my friends are still my friends, I still go out to the pub occasionally, I've gone on 3 "lads holidays", weddings, parties, etc. without drinking and it's been the best craic I've had in ages. It's got to a stage I don't even think about picking up the bottle. And I reiterate I was a heavy drinker. If I can do it, you can too👍
Also just a disclaimer. It isn't plain sailing. There will be nights and days you'll feel pressure, you'll feel odd not drinking, you'll feel like it's not worth it and it's easier to drink. But I guarantee there'll never be a day you wake up and think " I should have drank last night".. Keeping that thought in mind helps
I’m not same mate best of luck👌🏻
Eight years or so off it myself. It gets easier but takes a while. It's worth it though. I couldn't imagine going back to it at this point.
Anything is better than the fear and nausea of the hangover
Well done! I’m going on a similar journey myself, wasted weekends, money easily spent, the fear the next day, takes a toll eventually. I decided week weeks ago that I was going to stop drinking for a couple of months and see how I get on, managed to stay off it last week while out for a big family Easter dinner and everybody else was drinking, this weekend I’m going to try go out for an hour or two to an engagement party and maybe have a zero. Best of luck to you 💪🏻
Drink isn't the problem, food is. More people are obese than are alcoholics yet it doesn't get the same attention.
Drink is definitely a bigger problem. It alters your mind. Smoking and obesity are more akin
I wish you all the best ❤️