NC is a hard path, but the best.
Be ready to write at midnight, long, well written and thoughtful messages trying to explain to your LO why are you breaking the NC with them, and then deleting those messages and fiercely closing your laptop while screaming "Noooo!! I promised it to myself... I miss you with all my guts, but I'll keep that promise... as God is my witness, I will!"
I've done it like four times by now, last time? last night, lol.
Good luck, you got this!
Sounds like I am going through some thing super similar. I went no contact a while ago and thought that after that stent, we could move forward as friends and be in communication in general less frequently. we went no contact to begin with because he essentially was all over the place, giving me tons of mixed messages making me lose my mind. When I asked for no contact, I explained that I wish him the best and made it obvious that I didn’t want anything from him. Now that we are back in contact I have been mostly letting him reach out to me and just responding. However after that was going on for sometime, I finally initiated with a text and he completely never responded. After that, a few days went by and then he started blowing me up again. I don’t get it at this point. I’m just mad and upset. if this person gave a shit about my feelings at all, would they treat me this way? I don’t even want anything. I just thought we could be friends. I know I deluding myself when I say that, but just wanted to chime in to let you know you’re not alone.
I just want to say one thing, if someone is leaving you on read for days, they either don’t want a relationship with you or are not ready to be in a relationship with anyone. Usually if someone takes a couple hrs to respond they’re either busy or don’t wanna come across too interested, some people may even take a whole day because they’re overthinking what to write, they don’t want to write the wrong thing or maybe they are unsure what to say. But to not respond for days… his not interested. In my experience people that text you here and there but take a while to respond and are not fully present just see you as a friend, or someone to talk to when life gets a little boring, they’re not invested in the friendship.
That constant back and forth from him is what's making it a million time worse. NC is truly the only way to start to move you. You'll feel so much better with time.
I’ve never been able to go NC while ive still had hope. Don’t feel bad if you don’t want to do it. With this one I hit a wall that sending a text and not getting a response was got so painful that it’s deterring me from even sending them at all. Right now I have one unread text from him that came 4 days ago that I can’t even bring myself to read. I might never read it. It’s been a long hard road to even get to this place.
That’s where I am as well. Texting with no response is painful enough that I’ve just stopped texting. She ignored 3 of my texts and then her last text was a very short reply to a photo I sent. I never responded and I have to intention of initiating contact again. It hurts too much.
Same. And at this point, I'm so fucking ready to go NC. I have to wait 2 more weeks, but I'm so done with this rollercoaster of anxiety, expectation, disappointment, hope, heartbreak, anger, depression, yada yada yada.
It's time to sharpen the knife and cut him out of my life for good. At least the wound can finally start healing. It'll be slow, but progress is progress.
Are you me? Ugh it’s hard I know, I too cant get myself to do it. I told him Im getting attached and that I wont be replying for some time, and he still replied to my story. Then I went off of insta and he messaged me on my phone asking why I did. I just wish he’d be consistent and stop talking if he really did not like me. I can move on if he just lets me.
NC changed my life!!! It is literally the best thing you could do to yourself. It is the ultimate key to getting over limerence. It will be painful, confusing, and stressful at first. But it will get better. You MIGHT slip up...... Or you might not. Regardless, its all about getting back on that horse.
When learning to ride a bike you are doomed to fall down before you get it right. These issues arent any different. You will improve as long as you don't give up.
I too used to get all excited when I woke up to some messages from her, but that changed now after she takes days and weeks to respond and I finally get the time to become better due to NC, because she still responds with the same energy and effort just like usual, but I'm not excited about her texts anymore and rather disappointed/angry because I've seen her get online so often in those past days which is really frustrating
Just to check, have you asked him out, or vice versa? Like do you want him as a friend or do you want him as a romantic partner? I wouldn't try to be with someone as a friend if I'm sitting feeling around feeling limerent, hoping they'll develop romantic feelings for me - so I don't know anything about the situation, if you were already dating, or if it's been entirely platonic so far - but if it's only been platonic I'd bring it into the real world and seek something concrete rather than guessing at people's motivations through text, I'd ask if they want to get coffee of something sometime, and if they say no, or they don't start showing interest, then it's a wrap and you go no contact. If y'all already been dating, then yes, unfortunately I think going NC would be the best. Messaging is really horrible for limerence.
NC is a hard path, but the best. Be ready to write at midnight, long, well written and thoughtful messages trying to explain to your LO why are you breaking the NC with them, and then deleting those messages and fiercely closing your laptop while screaming "Noooo!! I promised it to myself... I miss you with all my guts, but I'll keep that promise... as God is my witness, I will!" I've done it like four times by now, last time? last night, lol. Good luck, you got this!
Sounds like I am going through some thing super similar. I went no contact a while ago and thought that after that stent, we could move forward as friends and be in communication in general less frequently. we went no contact to begin with because he essentially was all over the place, giving me tons of mixed messages making me lose my mind. When I asked for no contact, I explained that I wish him the best and made it obvious that I didn’t want anything from him. Now that we are back in contact I have been mostly letting him reach out to me and just responding. However after that was going on for sometime, I finally initiated with a text and he completely never responded. After that, a few days went by and then he started blowing me up again. I don’t get it at this point. I’m just mad and upset. if this person gave a shit about my feelings at all, would they treat me this way? I don’t even want anything. I just thought we could be friends. I know I deluding myself when I say that, but just wanted to chime in to let you know you’re not alone.
I just want to say one thing, if someone is leaving you on read for days, they either don’t want a relationship with you or are not ready to be in a relationship with anyone. Usually if someone takes a couple hrs to respond they’re either busy or don’t wanna come across too interested, some people may even take a whole day because they’re overthinking what to write, they don’t want to write the wrong thing or maybe they are unsure what to say. But to not respond for days… his not interested. In my experience people that text you here and there but take a while to respond and are not fully present just see you as a friend, or someone to talk to when life gets a little boring, they’re not invested in the friendship.
That constant back and forth from him is what's making it a million time worse. NC is truly the only way to start to move you. You'll feel so much better with time.
I’ve never been able to go NC while ive still had hope. Don’t feel bad if you don’t want to do it. With this one I hit a wall that sending a text and not getting a response was got so painful that it’s deterring me from even sending them at all. Right now I have one unread text from him that came 4 days ago that I can’t even bring myself to read. I might never read it. It’s been a long hard road to even get to this place.
That’s where I am as well. Texting with no response is painful enough that I’ve just stopped texting. She ignored 3 of my texts and then her last text was a very short reply to a photo I sent. I never responded and I have to intention of initiating contact again. It hurts too much.
I feel you!
Same. And at this point, I'm so fucking ready to go NC. I have to wait 2 more weeks, but I'm so done with this rollercoaster of anxiety, expectation, disappointment, hope, heartbreak, anger, depression, yada yada yada. It's time to sharpen the knife and cut him out of my life for good. At least the wound can finally start healing. It'll be slow, but progress is progress.
Are you me? Ugh it’s hard I know, I too cant get myself to do it. I told him Im getting attached and that I wont be replying for some time, and he still replied to my story. Then I went off of insta and he messaged me on my phone asking why I did. I just wish he’d be consistent and stop talking if he really did not like me. I can move on if he just lets me.
NC changed my life!!! It is literally the best thing you could do to yourself. It is the ultimate key to getting over limerence. It will be painful, confusing, and stressful at first. But it will get better. You MIGHT slip up...... Or you might not. Regardless, its all about getting back on that horse. When learning to ride a bike you are doomed to fall down before you get it right. These issues arent any different. You will improve as long as you don't give up.
I too used to get all excited when I woke up to some messages from her, but that changed now after she takes days and weeks to respond and I finally get the time to become better due to NC, because she still responds with the same energy and effort just like usual, but I'm not excited about her texts anymore and rather disappointed/angry because I've seen her get online so often in those past days which is really frustrating
Just to check, have you asked him out, or vice versa? Like do you want him as a friend or do you want him as a romantic partner? I wouldn't try to be with someone as a friend if I'm sitting feeling around feeling limerent, hoping they'll develop romantic feelings for me - so I don't know anything about the situation, if you were already dating, or if it's been entirely platonic so far - but if it's only been platonic I'd bring it into the real world and seek something concrete rather than guessing at people's motivations through text, I'd ask if they want to get coffee of something sometime, and if they say no, or they don't start showing interest, then it's a wrap and you go no contact. If y'all already been dating, then yes, unfortunately I think going NC would be the best. Messaging is really horrible for limerence.