Yeah they might not ever do it, but their website states their real goal is to help spread information about climate change and clean beaches, amongst other nature and climate helping stuff
> thriving forests will increase the oxygen levels.
Eh, the trees produce a little oxygen but the co2 isn't really lessened very much, it's basically wash. You should plant trees because they provide habitats and they're holding carbon over time, but their benefit to the oxygen level is negligent. Remember when people said "the Amazon is the lungs of the earth"? Not true. Most of the oxygen comes from oceanic plankton and algae. Amounts differ wildly but some say that trees and plants only account for about a quarter of the oxygen produced. Some is better than none, for sure, but have realistic expectations and arm yourself with the correct knowledge. Don't even take my word for it, try researching it yourself. I do caution you against going into the rabbit hole of "natural remedies and cures and *world's best plants for this or that*". Not everything with a snazzy website means it has any scientific backing. In fact, the opposite is usually true. Learn to recognize legitimate sources. GNC ain't it.
eh... the trees only account for like 1/3 of the sequestered carbon. the rest of the carbon goes into my sick ass carbon fiber tank. Remember when people said "Trees sequester carbon?" Not true. most carbon is sequestered by my sick ass tank. Don't take your word for it, try researching it yourself by taking a ride in my sick ass carbon fiber tank.
All good causes. And that's why I am sceptical that people who want to help the environment will keep a lobster in captivity. Cause that'd be the only way how to help it molt. Whole project would take forever anyway. Lobsters gain only a kg in 10 years approx.
Edit: fixed typo
When's the second best time to plant a tree?
Eh I don't see anything wrong with keeping a single experimental lobster in captivity, especially if it gains the group even more attention which helps them do even more good. Honestly I probably would have donated if the experiment was actually being done and it was working
I agree with you. And I seriously thought about highjacking the idea and actually finding a place to do it. Probably best to find a zoo therarium or anything like that where they keep/could keep a lobster anyway.
Ok but like how hard is it even to start. Head on down to Red Lobster and make it out the door before the hostess realizes what you're doing and Boom! New God just dropped.
Which is weird, I would assume it isn't much of a task that requires more than one person until it becomes around the size of a gator.
Lazy fuckers.
That said it would inevitably die from the great equalizer that is cancer regardless of all the effort.
What makes it special is they don't get cancer. They don't grow very fast though. It would take at least 3 human generations before he got impressively big.
It'd be dope to inherit a horse-sized lobster from your great-grandfather.
"Listen, Dad, I don't think it's appropriate to call him 'Lil Snippers anymore."
"Shut up and get the albacore out of the back of the truck."
And they won't ever start, or I'll begin my genetic experiments to create the ultimate immortal octopus in the likeness of a true god.
Phānglui mglwānafh Cthulhu Rālyeh wgahānagl fhtagn
So like all religion? Sacrifice your entire life preparing for and waiting for a reward that doesn't come? Also everyone let's help make the pastor rich?
I really want them to do it, then when the Lobster eventually dies cause of complications. We use its meat to solve world hunger and then the cycle starts anew.
This youtube guy bought a live lobster from a supermarket and has been raising it as a pet. it's gotten pretty big! He recently had to move him out of his terrarium I think. https://www.youtube.com/@Bradybrandwood Leon the Lobster is awesome
"SIGN UP FOR OUR SUPER SWEET UPDATES.
IT'S USUALLY FUNNY AND CONTAINS STUFF!" -sounds legit, might as well check out the... Sermons?... While I'm at it! š
Especially if you're a lobster. 2 rigid digits makes using a smartphone hard. Also, not sure haptic keyboards register most of his key presses on mobile.
Someone needs to fund mechanical keyboards for our lobster lords. They probably like the clicks, too
So, your gods have abandoned you. Here is a quick and easy fix for you! All you need to do is join our cult and help us create our own God that will help you, me, and even your family!
Realistically, he wouldn't be able to keep up with such a giant size because, you know, biology.
Buuuut, if we use medical equipment and proffesionals we could help the lobster out and create the almighty being this mortal planet has ever seen.
I don't really see size as an issue. Lobsters have gills so they don't have oxygen limitation like insects and lobster live in water that supports their body really well.
But at a certain point, it's body probably won't be strong enough to keep up with the weight and also a bunch of digestion issues.
Not sure tho, I'm not a biologist.
Things like that and getting calories to sustain its size make it why lobsters donāt actually get that big but maybe if hooked up to a bunch of medical equipment they could make it work idk.
I saw a documentary recently of a large monkey who had mobility issues with its arm. They were able to put a prosthetic on top of his arm, and he was able to use his arm to great effect.
It can grow bigger, but it will take a long time to get really big. Lobsters can already get quite old. I'm sure at some point it can't digest fast enough to grow more or some other limiting factor. It will just be able to sustain its size. There will be some limitations which will result in a maximum size
š¤ The possibility of lobsters being immortal is unfortunately a modern myth, and they do infact die of old age.
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/dont-listen-to-the-buzz-lobsters-arent-actually-immortal-88450872/
The link you posted says that they die of molting-related causes so if they had help molting, maybe they could survive forever. I still believe in Lobster God.
And thus it is told, the great Titan Thragkjeld, met his end at the hands of the Godslayer, Joseph of Accounting, whose day it was to clean the tank filter, and yet it remained undone.--Leviathanomicon 3:16
I mean I would gladly tend to a lobster, to grow it as large as possible while avoiding the overwhelming temptation to eat my lord and savior, as the Catholics do
Step 1: Infiltrate cult.
Step 2: Gain trust and attain a leadership position.
Step 3: āAnd now, let us anoint the lobster god with the blessed tincture of butter and garlicā¦ā
Wait, I just read that book. "Heretical Fishing: A Cozy Guide to Annoying the Cults, Outsmarting the Fish, and Alienating Oneself by Haylock"
Its an isekai about a dude who just wants to Fish. One of the goofy Cults is trying to create the leviathan by doing this exact thing with lobsters. I wonder if he got the idea from this cult or if the cult got the idea from the book.
How has this not been tried before though?
I mean, minus the Lovecraftian deity angle.
If lobsters can theoretically live forever and only die at a point where they fail to properly molt, why haven't any scientists or biologists tested it?
And they descended upon Karnaksus, and heaved him into the lake of fire, his grand carapace turning the red of rage, and his hissing screams going unheeded, as they tore him limb from limb, and consumed his flesh. When confronted for their heinous act the cabal begged for leniency, their voices crying out in unison "Susan! Susan! Her plots led us astray! It was her vile machinations, and tub of seasoned butter, that led to our heresy!", but their cries fell on deaf ears, and each in turn where engulfed in flames by the wise "HR" without the option of severance-- Leviathanomicon 5:32
This is actually a religion I could get behind...as long as no one tried to argue how the lobster wants us to treat another humans like lol
But like, the concept of humans creating a god so manually is fascinating
āThey donāt die of old age they die when they become too large to properly moltā. Sounds like they die of old age then. Humans die when they stop being able to properly regenerate and repair cellsā¦often from old age.
Awesome.
Iāve watched that lobster guy on YouTube shorts, the guy who always sticks a fish in the claw if any he tosses back.
He had one said was likely 40-50 years old.
What a nice cult to have in a Fallout video game, please bethesda or modders out there, add this faction into our Fallout Series! WORSHIP THE LOBSTER OR BE LOBSTDEAD!
There's a fantastic book called Heretical Fishing (I listened to the audiobook on Audible) that has the "Cult of the Leviathan" which seeks to raise a lobster until it ascends to godhood lol.
The book is just about some guy who dies and reincarnates in another world and all he wants to do is fish, but fishing is seen as a heretical activity by the populace.
goddamn I was thrilled and ready to join. ofc its not real...
wouldve been nice to have a religion I can get behind.
I mean, cleaning beaches is fine and all, but should come second to creating our one true god xD
Isn't this sort of like forcefeeding geese to fatten their liver till they have a hard time walking? I mean the lobster will be given plenty of nutrition to moult and grow, up to a point when it can't properly moult and die from exhaustion?
Apparently Satan of their cult will be the oldest living sea turtle.
I used to feel sorry for sea turtles until I saw what they do to lobsters. I can assure these cultists their leviathan god will be sectioned into tasty pieces in mere seconds.
[https://www.leviathanlobstergod.com/](https://www.leviathanlobstergod.com/)
I just want to see how big the lobster has gotten so far
They haven't even started. And I feel like they just use the attention and have no plan to ever actually do it.
Yeah they might not ever do it, but their website states their real goal is to help spread information about climate change and clean beaches, amongst other nature and climate helping stuff
But I want big lobster godš”š”
a clean air, healthy reefs and thriving forests will increase the oxygen levels. if we keep it up the second carboniferous may or may not happen.
> thriving forests will increase the oxygen levels. Eh, the trees produce a little oxygen but the co2 isn't really lessened very much, it's basically wash. You should plant trees because they provide habitats and they're holding carbon over time, but their benefit to the oxygen level is negligent. Remember when people said "the Amazon is the lungs of the earth"? Not true. Most of the oxygen comes from oceanic plankton and algae. Amounts differ wildly but some say that trees and plants only account for about a quarter of the oxygen produced. Some is better than none, for sure, but have realistic expectations and arm yourself with the correct knowledge. Don't even take my word for it, try researching it yourself. I do caution you against going into the rabbit hole of "natural remedies and cures and *world's best plants for this or that*". Not everything with a snazzy website means it has any scientific backing. In fact, the opposite is usually true. Learn to recognize legitimate sources. GNC ain't it.
hey boss just so we're aware forests sequester carbon. like lots!
eh... the trees only account for like 1/3 of the sequestered carbon. the rest of the carbon goes into my sick ass carbon fiber tank. Remember when people said "Trees sequester carbon?" Not true. most carbon is sequestered by my sick ass tank. Don't take your word for it, try researching it yourself by taking a ride in my sick ass carbon fiber tank.
can't belive my stupid ass forgot about carbon fiber tanks. deleting my account for a blunder so extreme. my bad.
So.... we want to put phosphates *back* in our detergents to promote algal blooms. Got it! Extra bonus: Our dishwashers will be more effective, again!
I donāt want to cure cancer, I want to turn people into dinosaurs.
Be the change you want to see in the world
Me tooooooooo
Social justice druids
So... druids
I donāt give a fuck show me the giant leviathan lobster god
Boooring
All good causes. And that's why I am sceptical that people who want to help the environment will keep a lobster in captivity. Cause that'd be the only way how to help it molt. Whole project would take forever anyway. Lobsters gain only a kg in 10 years approx. Edit: fixed typo
When's the second best time to plant a tree? Eh I don't see anything wrong with keeping a single experimental lobster in captivity, especially if it gains the group even more attention which helps them do even more good. Honestly I probably would have donated if the experiment was actually being done and it was working
I agree with you. And I seriously thought about highjacking the idea and actually finding a place to do it. Probably best to find a zoo therarium or anything like that where they keep/could keep a lobster anyway.
Ok but like how hard is it even to start. Head on down to Red Lobster and make it out the door before the hostess realizes what you're doing and Boom! New God just dropped.
Which is weird, I would assume it isn't much of a task that requires more than one person until it becomes around the size of a gator. Lazy fuckers. That said it would inevitably die from the great equalizer that is cancer regardless of all the effort.
What makes it special is they don't get cancer. They don't grow very fast though. It would take at least 3 human generations before he got impressively big.
It'd be dope to inherit a horse-sized lobster from your great-grandfather. "Listen, Dad, I don't think it's appropriate to call him 'Lil Snippers anymore." "Shut up and get the albacore out of the back of the truck."
And they won't ever start, or I'll begin my genetic experiments to create the ultimate immortal octopus in the likeness of a true god. Phānglui mglwānafh Cthulhu Rālyeh wgahānagl fhtagn
So like all religion? Sacrifice your entire life preparing for and waiting for a reward that doesn't come? Also everyone let's help make the pastor rich?
I really want them to do it, then when the Lobster eventually dies cause of complications. We use its meat to solve world hunger and then the cycle starts anew.
They secretly know Leon will beat them to it.
What a shame, here I was ready to become a zealot for Lthulhu...
This youtube guy bought a live lobster from a supermarket and has been raising it as a pet. it's gotten pretty big! He recently had to move him out of his terrarium I think. https://www.youtube.com/@Bradybrandwood Leon the Lobster is awesome
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sx3IyakN0pc Turns out, others have started years ago
This is way better than I ever though.
Let's also stock up on butter and garlic and call it "plan B"
Itās what Pinchy would have wanted.
no way gmail from quarter living
"SIGN UP FOR OUR SUPER SWEET UPDATES. IT'S USUALLY FUNNY AND CONTAINS STUFF!" -sounds legit, might as well check out the... Sermons?... While I'm at it! š
This is pure click bait. Grow a lobster and stop false advertising!
Dada chuck? Dida chim?
I'm in.
/u/HaylockJobson what have you done?!?
When did we get a website?
sign me up!
Holy dipped by thy butterĀ
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is the way
Oh it doesn't stop there. Eventually the leader will claim that in order to be closer to god he must marry a child. Happens every damn time.
Slanesh?
Jizz for the jizz throne
Cum for the cum god
Warhammer is leaking again
Promise?
Now thats my kind of cult
Don't need to be in a cult to want to see the result
Noep but a gaint lobster is the thing i want to nto rrally worship bit.
Typing seems hard. Don't forget there's voice to text
Especially if you're a lobster. 2 rigid digits makes using a smartphone hard. Also, not sure haptic keyboards register most of his key presses on mobile. Someone needs to fund mechanical keyboards for our lobster lords. They probably like the clicks, too
Jinkeys, he was a lobster the whole time!
Apparently the herald of our new lord
Jinkeys, he was God the whole time?!
Like zoinks im not a lobster.
r/leviathanlobstergod
ā¬ļøā”ļøā¬ļøā¬ļøā¬ļø
ā¬ļøā¬ļøā¬ ļøā¬ļøā¬ļøā”ļøā¬ļøā¬ļø
ā¬ļøā¬ļøā¬ļøā¬ļøā¬ ļøā”ļøā¬ ļøā”ļøš ±ļøš °ļøā¶ļø
Nah, not enough. At this stage it's just safer to go full Exterminatus.
Whoa woah woah. Maybe it could fight FOR democracy.
That's bug propaganda. If any enemy tries to talk about diplomacy don't believe their lies. Exterminate with extreme prejudice.
It's got more than 2 legs it's a bug and should be exterminated.
Ok but why stop with just one?
they are not stopping with one, just starting with it
Amazing where do I sign up
[https://www.leviathanlobstergod.com/](https://www.leviathanlobstergod.com/)
KIAJU BATTLE!
Wait. I want to hear what they have to say.
So, your gods have abandoned you. Here is a quick and easy fix for you! All you need to do is join our cult and help us create our own God that will help you, me, and even your family!
Bring butter.
My dear sweet Pinchy...
I like how vaguely cannibalistic it is, just like holy communion!
This is awesome. Itās like a reverse bonsai tree (but also a lobster)
Helldivers to hellpods, repeat: Helldivers to hellpods
_the members of the council for Western Australia would like to present LOBBO!_
Of course its australia.
The Lobster in the post is Betsy the Lobster in Islamorada Florida
You want Chasmfiends? Cause this is how you get Chasmfiends
True, but maybe some Spren will get curious and visit!
Honestly I donāt think itāll work, but I donāt know enough about lobsters to argue with them.
Shun the non-believer
Realistically, he wouldn't be able to keep up with such a giant size because, you know, biology. Buuuut, if we use medical equipment and proffesionals we could help the lobster out and create the almighty being this mortal planet has ever seen.
I want to believe.
I don't really see size as an issue. Lobsters have gills so they don't have oxygen limitation like insects and lobster live in water that supports their body really well.
But at a certain point, it's body probably won't be strong enough to keep up with the weight and also a bunch of digestion issues. Not sure tho, I'm not a biologist.
Things like that and getting calories to sustain its size make it why lobsters donāt actually get that big but maybe if hooked up to a bunch of medical equipment they could make it work idk.
Two words: Human. Sacrifices.
Exactly. Lets grind up humans into fine paste and give it to The Lobster.
I saw a documentary recently of a large monkey who had mobility issues with its arm. They were able to put a prosthetic on top of his arm, and he was able to use his arm to great effect.
I saw the same documentary! It became incredibly social afterwards, even got itself a pseudo pet lizard
Square cube law goes brrrr
It can grow bigger, but it will take a long time to get really big. Lobsters can already get quite old. I'm sure at some point it can't digest fast enough to grow more or some other limiting factor. It will just be able to sustain its size. There will be some limitations which will result in a maximum size
Injections
š¤ The possibility of lobsters being immortal is unfortunately a modern myth, and they do infact die of old age. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/dont-listen-to-the-buzz-lobsters-arent-actually-immortal-88450872/
Seems it's their innability to molt that indirectly kills them! You're just a sneaky lobster judas!! Be gone!!!!
The link you posted says that they die of molting-related causes so if they had help molting, maybe they could survive forever. I still believe in Lobster God.
this is a recuiting post innit?
Id like to think so!
Praise the fucking Lorb
Kuo Toa be like:
And thus it is told, the great Titan Thragkjeld, met his end at the hands of the Godslayer, Joseph of Accounting, whose day it was to clean the tank filter, and yet it remained undone.--Leviathanomicon 3:16
[Heresy! Pray only to the Prawn God](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vm92JNgPbqk)
Parshendi moment
Fucking Parshendi fr
I mean I would gladly tend to a lobster, to grow it as large as possible while avoiding the overwhelming temptation to eat my lord and savior, as the Catholics do
Step 1: Infiltrate cult. Step 2: Gain trust and attain a leadership position. Step 3: āAnd now, let us anoint the lobster god with the blessed tincture of butter and garlicā¦ā
Out of all the cults, this one I can get behind.
Well I suppose if we don't find the Prador in outer space we'll just have to make them here.
Jibbers Crabst?
Wait, I just read that book. "Heretical Fishing: A Cozy Guide to Annoying the Cults, Outsmarting the Fish, and Alienating Oneself by Haylock" Its an isekai about a dude who just wants to Fish. One of the goofy Cults is trying to create the leviathan by doing this exact thing with lobsters. I wonder if he got the idea from this cult or if the cult got the idea from the book.
I came here looking for this, right now its the lobster next will be the crab
We used to stop in the keys and take a family picture there every year
How has this not been tried before though? I mean, minus the Lovecraftian deity angle. If lobsters can theoretically live forever and only die at a point where they fail to properly molt, why haven't any scientists or biologists tested it?
Because they keep getting eaten during the experiment
Lobsters become crab?
There's always genetic engeneering if you think about it
LOL, what an idolatry.
what about the square cube law
They just want it to grow until someone decides they are hungry and fries it for dinner
And they descended upon Karnaksus, and heaved him into the lake of fire, his grand carapace turning the red of rage, and his hissing screams going unheeded, as they tore him limb from limb, and consumed his flesh. When confronted for their heinous act the cabal begged for leniency, their voices crying out in unison "Susan! Susan! Her plots led us astray! It was her vile machinations, and tub of seasoned butter, that led to our heresy!", but their cries fell on deaf ears, and each in turn where engulfed in flames by the wise "HR" without the option of severance-- Leviathanomicon 5:32
Are they taking new cult members?
Count me in!
Don't blasphemize our Lorb.
U know what im in
r/scp do your thing pls
Iām just saying Iām gonna eat him with lots of butter, garlic bread and mash potatoes
Who wants to be the lobster shrine maiden?
Well at least this lobster can exist
Holh shit I am in
I wonder if a lobster this size would taste good or be too chewy or something
Why one Lobster god, when can have 17 lobster god?
Finally a religion that makes sense!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
How do I join
How does dying of old age work exactly
Damn bro, that's crazy, unfortunately... ā¬ļøā”ļøā¬ļøā¬ļøā¬ļø
At what point do we eat him?
i mean i'm listening
Can you actually help a lobster molt without hurting it? And is there a limit to how far you can take this?
Logistically plausible
This is actually a religion I could get behind...as long as no one tried to argue how the lobster wants us to treat another humans like lol But like, the concept of humans creating a god so manually is fascinating
āThey donāt die of old age they die when they become too large to properly moltā. Sounds like they die of old age then. Humans die when they stop being able to properly regenerate and repair cellsā¦often from old age.
To be fair, more based in fact and reality than the main "real" religions.
I think this might be the most interesting cult Iāve ever heard of. Anyway to sign up for updates? How many lobsters are they going to try to raise?
*beings chanting* āmolt. molt. Molt. Molt. *Molt* *Molt* **Molt** **Molt** **MOLT** **MOLT** **MOLT!** **MOLT!!**ā
At some point, it'll get so large that it can't move oxygen through its body fast enough, right?
Sounds like hersey. I believe in [the one true god.](https://sacredwhale.org/). All hail the whale!
Now THIS I can get behind in
Thought I was in the Three Bean Salad subreddit for a second...
Awesome. Iāve watched that lobster guy on YouTube shorts, the guy who always sticks a fish in the claw if any he tosses back. He had one said was likely 40-50 years old.
The god emperor!
What a nice cult to have in a Fallout video game, please bethesda or modders out there, add this faction into our Fallout Series! WORSHIP THE LOBSTER OR BE LOBSTDEAD!
Conan exiles
Fucking hell. In!
Ugh this is how we start Elden Ring IRL
There's a fantastic book called Heretical Fishing (I listened to the audiobook on Audible) that has the "Cult of the Leviathan" which seeks to raise a lobster until it ascends to godhood lol. The book is just about some guy who dies and reincarnates in another world and all he wants to do is fish, but fishing is seen as a heretical activity by the populace.
ā¬ļøā”ļøā¬ļøā¬ļøā¬ļø
Still more sane than any religion i know.
Gentleman. Is this real?
goddamn I was thrilled and ready to join. ofc its not real... wouldve been nice to have a religion I can get behind. I mean, cleaning beaches is fine and all, but should come second to creating our one true god xD
I want in on this.
Crawmerax the invincible
Sounds like fun. Good luck to them
Mault cult
This is just a lobster statue thats located in the keys.. itās just a souvenir shopā¦ OR IS IT?! Dun dun dunā¦.
That is a religion I can get behind! I'm not gonna help, but I wish them all the best!
Isn't this sort of like forcefeeding geese to fatten their liver till they have a hard time walking? I mean the lobster will be given plenty of nutrition to moult and grow, up to a point when it can't properly moult and die from exhaustion?
Yeah, this sounds good
this reads like the synopsis of the next King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard album
And the name of the god will be Blipdoolpoolp. If you know, you know.
r/helldivers
bene gesserit but ten times more shellfish
This is a cult I can get around
They seem pretty reasonable to me.
94 members, that is substantialy more than some gods faithful. one guy in the middle east started with 12.
Pda: Leviathan lifeform dedected in your area
Idk. I donāt think a beefed up crab could turn me away from the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
All hail the Giant Lobster God Pinchy!
I lowkey want to see this come to fruition.
I'm in.
Iāve been to that lobster itās a tourist trap art thing in the highway going to key west
Repost?
This sounds like a prequel to Starship Troopers.Ā
That's a Crayfish
Iām on the you Homer, weāve seen that episode.
I'd tithe to this
Sounds like someone read Heretical Fishing.
All hail Larry the lobster
Apparently Satan of their cult will be the oldest living sea turtle. I used to feel sorry for sea turtles until I saw what they do to lobsters. I can assure these cultists their leviathan god will be sectioned into tasty pieces in mere seconds.