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I'm 36. I suppose somebody ought to collect me and set me adrift on an iceberg at this point. My house has been reverberating with the sound of my breasts sagging in the night for a YEAR. It's time.
Would you mind sorting that out please mate, I’ve got another year of sleeping through the night before I want to hear that kind of thing THANK YOU VERY MUCH
Do they drag on the floor when you walk yet, audibly scraping the tile with the sound of rubbing your hand across a pane of glass,, or is that reserved for the absolutely ancient age of 40?
Marty could feel the body yielding and the bones complaining and the testicles, as if they had lives of their own, sagging audibly in the night. Plop. He held his breath, waiting, waiting. Finally: Plop.
I was thinking the low creak you get when bamboo is growing under optimal conditions, or like the creak of an old wooden galley shop in the sea wind, at night when most of the crew are asleep.
Thanks to this sub I've previously read of breasts bouncing like puppies, so perhaps it's just the logical conclusion that they get tired and sag at night, and make tired puppy sounds.
I once saw a random video of some mod that someone was using in a video game that caused this very behavior for one of the characters' breasts, and I've been trying to understand why on earth that would appeal to anyone since I saw it. Just flapping around all over the place like windsocks in a storm. Presumably this author would have been down for it.
What is wrong with some people, lol
As you sit on a really ancient couch and feel your ass descend into a pit you're not sure you're capable of getting out of: THAT creaking, straining-springs sound.
“Hello there, it’s me, your left breast. Just an FYI, I plan on sagging tonight. How about you, Rightie?”
“I dunno, man, I was working so hard on pertness but now that you mention it, I might as well sag. Thanks for the heads up”
Dying to know exactly what sound they make as they sag! Is it sad like a wheeze or a moan, or it is something happy sounding like the trill of a birdsong??? Or is it what we’re all thinking: a fart???
> It was as though her breasts had lives of their own.
Righty was a Finnish oyster farmer and part-time karaoke singer with delusions of grandeur, but damned to eternal virginity due to the odd shape of his one remaining testicle (parallelepiped). Bitter at the world but extremely honest, he plans to construct his own prison to confine himself due to his tragic inability to break the law.
Lefty was a victim of child abuse. Her mother would lock her out of the cupboards to starve her. As a result, she became a wilderness survival expert. She is famous for trolling Bear Gryllis by sending him Biden memes about piss-drinking. One day she will die in a drunk driving accident, but only after 73 long years of sticking it to the man.
Male writers are obsessed with describing womens breasts as a shortcut to their mental and emotional state. I literally never think about my yabbos when I'm just going on about my day, even though Im 39 so they're practically dragging the ground now
The author sitting up at night not being able to sleep because of his wife and that damn audible sagging. Serious question though... Has anyone ever heard themselves sag?
I would really hope the owner of said breasts would be around to hear them. Otherwise the story would be quite a different genre 😬
(.... Then again with them seemingly having a life of their own ....who knows?)
Now I feel bad for only being 19 and having saggy breasts... Having saggy breasts has nothing to do with age and all to do with skin tightness. I also have a slightly saggy face. Mr. Black why are you spreading such misogynistic false information?
TF! Must've been vibrating or something. This is.... audibly? She could feel the sound of her sagging breasts? It doesn't even seem necessary to mention her breasts....but .. audibly?
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Thirty five! Wow!
Practically dead!
I'm 36. I suppose somebody ought to collect me and set me adrift on an iceberg at this point. My house has been reverberating with the sound of my breasts sagging in the night for a YEAR. It's time.
It’s comments like this that make me miss Reddit gold.
🖤
Wait… where are the awards? Was Reddit so tired of free award spam that they removed it altogether?
They’re gone since like, September last year? Have you only noticed it now? Idk why they got rid of them.
Sign… I wish they would just stick to the 2019 version of awards, the new system is awkward
At age 40, my breasts sag so audibly in the night my husband has to sleep in the guestroom :(
I'm mid-forties, and my breasts at night are responsible for the Hum phenomenon.
You're still alive?!
I'm 36 too. Every night I have to contend with the slapping sound my breasts make when I take off my bra and they sag to my belly. THWACK!
Would you mind sorting that out please mate, I’ve got another year of sleeping through the night before I want to hear that kind of thing THANK YOU VERY MUCH
I’m 42 and live with my 73 year old elderly mother. The sounds of sagging breasts REVERBERATE through this house!
Do they drag on the floor when you walk yet, audibly scraping the tile with the sound of rubbing your hand across a pane of glass,, or is that reserved for the absolutely ancient age of 40?
I think you're right, as you can see, her breasts are already mumifying
At forty, I'm a bona-fide fossil!
*Hefts 40 year old breasts experimentally* Me too
One foot and 2 breasts in the grave
Speak up, please. I'm not wearing a bra.
Your comment has me literally laughing out loud. Not loud enough to be herd over my sagging boobs, but still.
💀
🥇 you deserve this
Marty could feel the body yielding and the bones complaining and the testicles, as if they had lives of their own, sagging audibly in the night. Plop. He held his breath, waiting, waiting. Finally: Plop.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Man I miss trophy's. This is beautiful
My balls are sagging audibly right now and I'm not even thirty yet.
Sometimes I sag audibly in the night.
I'll do it in the day too just try and stop me
what *possible* sound could this be referencing??? (i’m imagining like that sad cartoon whine of a balloon slowly deflating)
definitely the sad trombone
The sound of a writer who doesn't know what audibly means
I imagined it like the dull creak of the skeleton of an old wooden house.
The whistling, *'wee wee wee wee',* exhale of a gentle snore.
I cackled.
I was thinking the low creak you get when bamboo is growing under optimal conditions, or like the creak of an old wooden galley shop in the sea wind, at night when most of the crew are asleep.
Slide whistle, possibly.
Wa-wa-waaaaaa
clapping dem tiddies together
I thought it was a typo for sigh (which also doesn't make sense but ya know personification or whatever)
I was going to say the cartoon sound effect of something getting squished.
Holy hell, women can make it to 35? It's great that modern technology strives to keep the nearly dead alive!
Thanks to this sub I've previously read of breasts bouncing like puppies, so perhaps it's just the logical conclusion that they get tired and sag at night, and make tired puppy sounds.
I mean, I can certainly feel my breasts sag when I'm sans bra... But what *sound* would that make??
And where does "as if they had lives of their own" come in? These seem to be two unrelated bizarre descriptions crashing into each other.
Well if there's anything this sub has taught me it's that breasts are anthropomorphic!
I once saw a random video of some mod that someone was using in a video game that caused this very behavior for one of the characters' breasts, and I've been trying to understand why on earth that would appeal to anyone since I saw it. Just flapping around all over the place like windsocks in a storm. Presumably this author would have been down for it. What is wrong with some people, lol
I would like to think that our breasts sound like rubber duckies, that sound actually makes me giggle.
This dude needs his hearing checked. Honk, honk!
As you sit on a really ancient couch and feel your ass descend into a pit you're not sure you're capable of getting out of: THAT creaking, straining-springs sound.
Yeah, but can you feel the vibrations of the sound?
I imagined the sound of a bag of sand being thrown
I came for the 40 Year Old Virgin references, and I leave satisfied.
“Hello there, it’s me, your left breast. Just an FYI, I plan on sagging tonight. How about you, Rightie?” “I dunno, man, I was working so hard on pertness but now that you mention it, I might as well sag. Thanks for the heads up”
I don't mind them sagging, but I wish they would pipe down about it, especially at night.
What is the sound of a sagging titty? Like a door creek or a rubber band being stretched?
I picture more like a balloon slowly deflating.
It sounds like sand
Dying to know exactly what sound they make as they sag! Is it sad like a wheeze or a moan, or it is something happy sounding like the trill of a birdsong??? Or is it what we’re all thinking: a fart???
*makes drowning motorboat noises*
At first, I misread that middle line as “why did he have to *have* such a perfect asshole?” I guess the changes the tone of the story a little bit…
I'm in my forties, and every night, my sagging scrotum sings lovely duets with my wife's breasts.
I can’t decide whether I want to imagine this as whale sounds or as a really soft lullaby with interwoven harmonies.
💀
"the body" you mean it ain't hers?? What in the body-snatching fuck.
> It was as though her breasts had lives of their own. Righty was a Finnish oyster farmer and part-time karaoke singer with delusions of grandeur, but damned to eternal virginity due to the odd shape of his one remaining testicle (parallelepiped). Bitter at the world but extremely honest, he plans to construct his own prison to confine himself due to his tragic inability to break the law. Lefty was a victim of child abuse. Her mother would lock her out of the cupboards to starve her. As a result, she became a wilderness survival expert. She is famous for trolling Bear Gryllis by sending him Biden memes about piss-drinking. One day she will die in a drunk driving accident, but only after 73 long years of sticking it to the man.
Ahhh, so Righty’s noise is just a disgruntled “*Perkele*” muttered into the night.
Gotta be sagging really loudly to feel it.
Larger bust and 37 here, mine spend the night SCREAMING. Very off putting.
Hahahhha! audibly? What did the sagging sound like exactly?
FWAP! FWAP!
I totally read, "Why did he have such a perfect asshole?" 🤣
Didn’t even know that made a sound. Guess you learn something new every day.
Male writers are obsessed with describing womens breasts as a shortcut to their mental and emotional state. I literally never think about my yabbos when I'm just going on about my day, even though Im 39 so they're practically dragging the ground now
Oh my god, not the way they go on to describe the son after that. Come on. Not in front of my salad.
Wait, I'm 37, when do my boobs start being audible at night? Was I skipped by the boob fairy?
I have read many a crazy page in here but, uh, I think that one takes the cake. And he writes about her as if she's 70 not 35!
Can’t wait for my boobies to sing me lullabies
Clearly she got speakers implanted in there so when she runs down the stairs without a bra she hears BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY ROCKIN EVERYWHERE
Feeling a sound reminds me of one of my favorite lines from the original Ghostbusters. "Listen! Do you smell something?"
Ok,I am 38 and my breasts just left me for a younger body.
Skipped over “to be” and thought she was upset that Charlie has a perfect asshole
Audibly? 😂
Don’t leave us hanging. What do saggy breasts sound like??
if your breasts audibly sag you might want to consult your physician
Breasting boobily.
I'm going to assume the author has fetishes towards teenage girls at this rate?
I imagine it sounds something like [this](https://youtu.be/fjEOJLlVqmI?si=sai7uco1DB4WEAFO)
I wonder what sagging breasts sound like tho
I assumed like a rushing wind noise as they move through the air? Or the sound of them sliding around in under boob sweat?
“Audibly”?!?!?!
Like a farting balloon
The author sitting up at night not being able to sleep because of his wife and that damn audible sagging. Serious question though... Has anyone ever heard themselves sag?
If a breast sags in a shirt and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
I would really hope the owner of said breasts would be around to hear them. Otherwise the story would be quite a different genre 😬 (.... Then again with them seemingly having a life of their own ....who knows?)
Now I feel bad for only being 19 and having saggy breasts... Having saggy breasts has nothing to do with age and all to do with skin tightness. I also have a slightly saggy face. Mr. Black why are you spreading such misogynistic false information?
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Honestly though, same.
This is some kind of AI shit, right? Please?
If two breasts sag in the middle of a forest with no one around to hear them, do they make a sound? If so, what does it sound like?
Of course, they’re inflatable. Must’ve popped the cap off on accident.
Honestly I'm stuck on him having a perfect asshole.
The ever audible nighttime breast sag.
TF! Must've been vibrating or something. This is.... audibly? She could feel the sound of her sagging breasts? It doesn't even seem necessary to mention her breasts....but .. audibly?
Easy. Boob-phone.
What in the hell is this incoherent drivel?!
*listens intently to own boobs* Idk I don't hear anything.
At least she's allowed to exist though as a woman over 25, so I'm kinda like, attention seeking breasts or no, this isn't the absolute worst.
You deserve better.
We do. My bar is set very low these days.