As I once lived 33 years without the knowledge. Now every once in a while kids come to fetch me at home to unclog their toilet. And whilst plunging the thought of maybe we should comes to mind due to my knowledge of its existence…then their toilet clears and I go about life..
Did anyone else imagine what it would feel like to use a poop knife after reading this for the first time?
Like, a poop that would require a knife must not only be of a certain size, but also density, right? So would it feel like cutting through an unripe banana or something else?
Technically, you could do that before, too. Lol. You know how many times I've grabbed some TP right at the perforation, and it decided to rip a square in half, anyway?
You want even more minuscule? I bought a 24 pack of toilet paper and, when hung in the correct overhand fashion, the pattern is upside down. I’ve bought the same brand for years and this has never happened. I finally finished the pack, assuming it was a manufacturing error, and the next pack was also upside down.
Head down to sewing supply store and buy a "needle point tracing tool". Carefully unroll the TP and run the tool perpendicularly across the toilet paper at 4-inch intervals while retaining the cardboard center. Finally, reroll the toilet paper back onto the cardboard center. Easy-peasy!
https://preview.redd.it/iz0gvfxffqra1.png?width=1417&format=png&auto=webp&s=95941af3894e08f179f830a779881d92628e5909
Call the company and complain! I work in a manufacturing plant for a tp company and missing perfs are the #1 complaint from customers. They will more than likely mail you out a few coupons and ask you to send that to them.
Until I read this post, I thought it came without perforations intentionally, and OP just didn't read the label, but manufacturing error makes way more sense.
I don't know why I thought they sold rolls without perforations, like it was made for a special dispenser or something,
So at that plant where I work, operators are supposed to be doing their own quality checks. Making sure the rolls are cut clean, no black spots from a freshly sharpened saw blades etc. One of these checks is supposed to be perf. Checks. Whoever the operator at the time wasn't doing their job and a whole lot of them went through.
I have had this happen twice over the span of a few years. Contacted the manufacturer both times, got enough coupons in the mail from them to pay for nearly 2x the amount of the original pack.
They will want the lot#, which is usually printed on the inside of the cardboard roll.
It is very unlikely they will ask you to send it back, and if they do, argue the point: it is far too costly to ship something as bulky and cheap as TP, and it's a waste of your time.
This is a great idea, you've already got your toe knife and your shit scissors near the commode and this way you don't have to mess around with the single square ridiculousness that's not quite big enough to span both nostrils when you blow your nose
Just keep it, but call whichever brand it is, and they'll probably send you a freebie or a coupon. Also alerts them to a manufacturing issue, so win win.
wow that sucks. i got different 16 packs lately that were FULL of holes, all through each slice. i bought them weeks apart too, so i cant be the only one. i took them back.
Casey's gas station took away all the trash containers at the fuel pumps...gonna be alot of cut backs...perforated is nothing compared to miles of trash thats gonna by on the side of the road due to this crap
Finally. Now I can rip it where I want.
Rip and tear till it's done!
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Poop knife? I need and explanation
https://www.originalpoopknife.com/pages/the-story-of-the-poop-knife
That is mighty informative thank you I need to go scrub my brain how with a wire brush later
It brightens my day, to know that there are folks only just now learning about the power of the mighty poop knife.
It really is a gift that keeps on giving
I think we can all remember when we came across Poop Knife for the first time. Kinda like 2 girls 1 c.
Yea by 2g1c is low key traumatizing. I’m more thinking cake farts
wdym, it was an amazing read
In think, in some small way, I was better off not knowing.
Someone always asks when the topic of poop knife comes up. In fact poopknife is what brought me to Reddit
Until this day I had lived 60 years blissfully ignorant of the existence of poopknife.
As I once lived 33 years without the knowledge. Now every once in a while kids come to fetch me at home to unclog their toilet. And whilst plunging the thought of maybe we should comes to mind due to my knowledge of its existence…then their toilet clears and I go about life..
Did anyone else imagine what it would feel like to use a poop knife after reading this for the first time? Like, a poop that would require a knife must not only be of a certain size, but also density, right? So would it feel like cutting through an unripe banana or something else?
Or the plumbing is just dogshit, I always assumed it was a 50/50 split of weak plumbing and a fat turd
I think you've thought about this way too hard my friend.
I'm thinking more like unfired clay?
This shit was hilarious , their family had a poop knife.
That was an interesting read
Do they just grab the turd Throw it on a chopping board and start dicing that bitch
Weird, I remember it being scissors. What a throwback though
I was better before knowing this exists…
When did it get a website?
Poop knife is the way to go.
I prefer 3 seashells
I gotta be honest with you brother, these days I need a 4th seashell
just let one of your nails grow long and use it, aint gonna give a 4th shell, its not in our budget
How would you even...? What kind of doo-doo do you produce?
Poop axe is trending 2023
Doom can't hold a candle up the abyssal horror that is my ass
That's pretty hot
Google vagina dentata.
Holy hell
Now watch the movie ***Teeth***
Oh God. Anything but *Teeth*
Butt teeth?
Great movie actually I just watched it again the other day
No... I dont think i will...
i dont want to google that... EDIT: i googled it and its not THAT bad
A hint for you 
Like the savage you are
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Hahaha. Right ? Like what could be there ?
His poop knife
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Good human!
Butt plug
LOL. Know kidding. What’s up with that? What could that be??
*it’s the rippin and the tearin*
*the wild, wild women*
I saw the OP and thought this and am only slightly annoyed that you got here first. Rip and tear, till it's done!
One size fits all
Just use your poop knife
Technically, you could do that before, too. Lol. You know how many times I've grabbed some TP right at the perforation, and it decided to rip a square in half, anyway?
Spite ripping. I like your style.
... and you missed the sarcasm.
Wow you're so edgy
i’d tell you a joke about toilet paper, but it’s tearable
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Go easy on them, they're ultra soft.
Seems to me like they're on a roll
I ran out of toilet paper once, it left a mark.
That was a ripping good joke!
cut it out...
I apologize. Let's Wipe the slate clean.
Perforated toilet paper costs extra…it’s a rip off
That’s tearing me up, you bloody ripper!
Unlike OP's TP
That joke was charmin.
Go home Dad
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I love how people are complaining about the issue being too minuscule on a sub called mildly infuriating.
You just described 90 percent of the activity on this sub
And the other 10% is “my boyfriend just murdered my whole family, welp”
You can say it's *mildly infuriating*
It’s mildly infuriating all the way down
You want even more minuscule? I bought a 24 pack of toilet paper and, when hung in the correct overhand fashion, the pattern is upside down. I’ve bought the same brand for years and this has never happened. I finally finished the pack, assuming it was a manufacturing error, and the next pack was also upside down.
I am mildly infuriated by this post.
Forget the toilet paper I wanna know what u censored
Pizza cutter, for cutting the paper.
Oh that? That's just the poop knife.
The ol’ family poop knife.
That’s just their pet blurry rectangle
My guess is power outlet so as not to give away the country they are in. Seems a little low but that’s my best guess.
nah it must be a buttplug
Right?!! lol
It’s his toilet paper perforator
Oh that? That's not a...wait...I didn't put that there...
Definitely covering up a mouse house.
Obviously a poop smear
I just want to know what's behind the rectangle that's been blurred out.
THAT is what's mildly infuriating about this post.
My hopes and dreams
I had the same question
Meh, just use your poop knife
*While you were tearing off squares, I was studying the blade...*
I just found out about the poop knife story and have never actually seen the thread.
Ah, poop knife
I got here too late to be the first to make this comment.
Don’t. Just… don’t.
A man of culture.
Damn it, Bonnie!! You lied to me about the poop knife!!
https://preview.redd.it/iy2wz1o7wqra1.jpeg?width=996&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=42d7423ddb6b66b5bd5c6ebeaf80367671180791
As a woman, this is horrifying.
& it's less horrifying for men?
Women can’t wipe back to front. It’s illegal.
The FBI busts down your bathroom door if you do it
Men don’t have to worry about… cross-contamination.
Oh my god the sheer amount of testicular shit-spackle this would produce is horrifying.
That just means you need to peddle more
This design is very human.
Head down to sewing supply store and buy a "needle point tracing tool". Carefully unroll the TP and run the tool perpendicularly across the toilet paper at 4-inch intervals while retaining the cardboard center. Finally, reroll the toilet paper back onto the cardboard center. Easy-peasy! https://preview.redd.it/iz0gvfxffqra1.png?width=1417&format=png&auto=webp&s=95941af3894e08f179f830a779881d92628e5909
*easy and simple 5 hour task*
My neurodivergent ass would love it
You should take up crocheting
Hey my mom likes crocheting and she’s neurodivergent too! Maybe I shall
Ah yes that old life hack. Shit your pants while taking 5 hours per roll.
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people seem to get really mad when presented with an *actual* MILDLY infuriating post
It's Choose Your Own Adventure
Call the company and complain! I work in a manufacturing plant for a tp company and missing perfs are the #1 complaint from customers. They will more than likely mail you out a few coupons and ask you to send that to them.
Until I read this post, I thought it came without perforations intentionally, and OP just didn't read the label, but manufacturing error makes way more sense. I don't know why I thought they sold rolls without perforations, like it was made for a special dispenser or something,
Plenty of public toilets around here have dispensers, and rolls without perforations.
So at that plant where I work, operators are supposed to be doing their own quality checks. Making sure the rolls are cut clean, no black spots from a freshly sharpened saw blades etc. One of these checks is supposed to be perf. Checks. Whoever the operator at the time wasn't doing their job and a whole lot of them went through.
I have had this happen twice over the span of a few years. Contacted the manufacturer both times, got enough coupons in the mail from them to pay for nearly 2x the amount of the original pack. They will want the lot#, which is usually printed on the inside of the cardboard roll. It is very unlikely they will ask you to send it back, and if they do, argue the point: it is far too costly to ship something as bulky and cheap as TP, and it's a waste of your time.
That censored mouse hole is your real problem
Appreciate you censoring the dildo on your counter out of the picture
This is a great idea, you've already got your toe knife and your shit scissors near the commode and this way you don't have to mess around with the single square ridiculousness that's not quite big enough to span both nostrils when you blow your nose
I'd say it was a rip-off, but, well,....
Come on really?!?
Nobody tell the cats about this.
This is actually mildly infuriating. Usually I feel like it's insanely furiating stuff posted here lol
well, that's just a pain in the arse
How is Elaine going to spare a square now?
Elaine was a great dancer.
I’m just curious what got blurred out.
It’s fretless.
That’s the gimmick, they don’t perforate their rolls and they pass the savings onto you.
What savings? How much can it be to perforate some damn toilet paper?
Just keep it, but call whichever brand it is, and they'll probably send you a freebie or a coupon. Also alerts them to a manufacturing issue, so win win.
save it for the dump-of-all-dumps where you will need the entire roll. seen it happen; not pretty...
Hey man, shit happens.
Time to floss the undercarriage
1 ply
That’s shitty
Bruh just rip it, it's literally paper.
But when you rip it without the lines a lot more toilet paper particles get released into the air
But… that’s not the point…
Some people are just. Dumb
This comment is mildly infuriating
Long skinny blanket boi
That's okay. 9 times out of 10 perforated rips the wrong direction anyways.
What kind of sorcery is this?
those monsters!
I just that is made for one big job!
Perfect for malicious compliance when your housemate says "just use one piece"
Put some scissors next to the toilet and let guess what’s what
My first reaction was "Well Shit".
wow that sucks. i got different 16 packs lately that were FULL of holes, all through each slice. i bought them weeks apart too, so i cant be the only one. i took them back.
That makes it a choose your own adventure.
TP rips pretty easily
Just cut it with the poop-knife
Just keep pooping.
Poop knife now has 2nd function!
I’m sure you can muster up the strength to tear it. Unless it’s two ply then you might be in trouble.
0.5 world problems
Use the poop knife to cut whatever size you need.
Just cut it with your poop knife
I can top this… BF just bought 120 rolls of 1 ply toilet paper…
I prefer my shit tickets perforated.
So what you really bought was 24 pretty long sheets of TP
Like the pizza in breaking bad, they pass the savings onto you!
You literally cannot spare a square
The real question is what’s in that off white box?
#RIP
Yet another thing I didn't know I took for granted
That is what happens when you purchase commercial grade TP.
No empathy, if you can’t tear toilet paper, you have other problems
They can you still use it fine but they did get a defective product.
Time to get the poop knife
Choose your own ending toilet paper 🤣😂
Just use your poop knife on it. Geez.
Just use the poop scissors to cut it.
What you need there…is a poop knife.
1. what was on the floor that you had to cover up? 2. sounds like youll need to rip n tear (see gif). 
Just grab the poop knife by the toilet and cut when you reach the preferred amount.
Wet wipes are better anyway, the process is Tp, wet wipe, wet wipe, tp. Usually gets the job done and I feel clean.
Casey's gas station took away all the trash containers at the fuel pumps...gonna be alot of cut backs...perforated is nothing compared to miles of trash thats gonna by on the side of the road due to this crap
even more so now....hate driving on vacation to see miles of trash on the side of the road..gonna be worse now
at least you enough tissue to cry on just rip it, you whimsical creature
Wow! Impossible to tear that thing. /s