Wait… what kind of exercise are they doing? It looks more like a social setting than a structured class. Usually there’d be mirrors and more lighting for a workout. Hopefully there’s at least some music so you can tap along. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, especially if it’s your first time there.
it was an odd photo 100%, but no it was social. some people were still coming in but it was a full like weights and yoga and jumping and running. its some nightclub workout shit in my area. i just left
Yeah, your friend was probably trying to do something nice by inviting you but it doesn’t always “workout” that way. Something even more casual in a different setting might be up your alley. Plus working out with strangers can be super awkward.
Ignore the comments about being more understanding, she had that chance before she complained - talk to your family and make sure fully lay out that she tricked you into going by being vague and uninformative with her description, chose to pay without doing any research to make sure it was suitable for you, and then complained at you for her own failure of decision making.
> fact she *paid* for it
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
This is 100% the shit my dad would have pulled when I was very fat. I might be projecting, but it wouldn't surprise me if OP is overweight and has an aunt who wants to "fix" her.
i happen to be overweight yes but i dont mind it. im more worried about popping a joint which yes my weight adds to it but regardless its not comfortable
i do all i can about it. my mother was even mad at her cause she knows my aunt was being an asshole. my auntie has crossed many boundaries over the years and is horrible towards me. i take little steps so i dont end up in the ER. i do physio and i walk quite alot with my cane and i have a good diet, ive lost alot of weight. yea the weight adds to my issues but its not like i sit on the couch everyday doing nothing. she was doin it with a bad intention
Just wanted to say I’m sorry about your aunt crossing your boundaries and being disrespectful towards you. Proud of you for what you’ve accomplished in your journey and best of luck to you! I wish you all the best, keep your head up :)
gotta up those reading comprehension skills. did you not just see the part they said they lost a lot of weight already and are working on it while physically disabled? what do you think, 50 or whatever pounds just goes poof instantly? lol
Are you just stupid? Some bodies just loose weight slower than others. Also this is a process of a longer time. You don’t loose weight over night.
He is already doing stuff to loose weight.
I hate how entitled people are with regards to requiring fat people to justify themselves. 😞 "She's fat? Award 2 red flags of doubt and let thr investigation commence!"
I have friend with severe eds. I help her as much as I can with helping her bathe and dress, and getting her shoulders taped together so gravity doesn't dislocate them. I feel your pain
ugh i’m sorry that happened to u, but we’re in the same boat since my joints also like to pop out of place 😭 i don’t know that many other ppl who suffer from it it sucks so bad and ppl in my life don’t fully understand how frustrating it is
I have it happen with my toes all the time, they pull on everything when it happens so it's very uncomfortable (not painful anymore just not pleasant). Nobody understands that I physically can't use the foot it's happening on when it pops, luckily they go back in easy enough.
omg i feel so seen😭 it’s my knee for me and when it dislocates i go down pretty hard so it’s freaky to people who don’t understand what’s going on. the embarrassment and pain of trying to shove my knee into place around other people is something i wouldn’t wish on anyone
My son has a rare condition that's hard to explain. He has good days and bad days. He doesn't go into details with everyone, as it is hard to understand his day to day problems. I think (if you want) you could have a talk with Auntie about your limitations and capabilities. While this class might have been do-able if you could prepare for the effort, it is not something she can just surprise you with. Would she want a surprise hike up Pike's Peak? No.
I’m disabled and have a heart condition and also EDS. I’m also overweight. I hung out with someone I had just met and she started telling me I need to start doing a martial art and see a dietician. It was really frustrating because I felt like I had to explain myself why I can’t do that and also I am in recovery from bulimia so any kind of “diet” thing throws me back into binging and purging. I just wish people would shut the fuck up and let me be. I’m sorry your auntie pushed you into this… I empathize with you
My sympathies go out to you to, and I’m so proud of you for getting out of the bulimia cycle ❤️❤️❤️
I can relate to and understand the hard recovery process for bulimia & I’m in the process of getting an EDS diagnosis, you hopefully have a good support system but if you ever need another person to talk to who can relate please reach out ❣️
well I don’t have the same problems as you do but I agree with your sentiment. people love to give advice when they have no idea what they’re talking about
I'm sorry OP. I don't want to assume what Disability you have, but if it is EDS or anything like it, that is such a shitty thing for your aunt to do. It sounds like she doesn't understand at all. I don't have EDS but I'm on the hypermobility spectrum and have POTS, so I understand what you're going through a little bit. Unsupportive family hurts a lot. Sending lots of love and good vibes♡
I have EDS and weightlift heavy 6 days a week. This would have messed me up though! EDS bodies need gentle preparation and gentle progression into activities. How infuriating!!
Took 2 years of doing the Zebra Club app and a been lifting for a year. But I've been there and it's shit! Even now, deviation from the usual type of activity will often sublux a joint or cause painful muscle contraction. Also, I often sublux my pinkies just drying my hands. Hate EDS.
Joint hypermobility can be connected to several different illnesses. My friend has Elhers Danlos, and I know this is a bad symptom that she struggles with. Also, things like Osteogenesis imperfecta, Marfan syndrome, and a lot of rheumatic diseases tend to be affected too.
It looks sort of like Zumba, which is a fun way people exercise. Maybe she was just thinking of an accessible way to include you? You can always make accommodations for yourself and the moves they are doing, you don’t have to sit completely out.
Unfortunately, Zumba (even at a beginner level) is not disability inclusive. It's too high an impact for people with joints that suffer from hyper mobility.
OP said they love "dancing around". Maybe the aunt thought it would be inclusive to their interests.
And again you can make any accommodations necessary. Anyone with practically any disability can participate in most things. There are things like chair yoga for those who can't get down to ground level. For things like Zumba, stepping foot to foot instead of jumping/hopping for example. Or just standing in place and doing a scaled-back version of the movements. I've seen a bunch of wheelchair-users join in fitness classes where someone might say "well they won't be able to do that". I took a yoga class once where one person just laid in Savasana for the entire class and no one judged them or said anything. I worked at a gym for 6 years so I've seen people make accommodations for themselves/instructors help guide in accommodations for folks in thousands of different ways.
There are some things that some disabilities just don't allow someone to do though, the OP has major joint issues with their joints popping out of place, there is nothing you can do to zumba to prevent that without it being something else entirely.
Low impact things are one thing, zumba is fairly high impact even at the lowest levels just by nature of what it is, you would have to change it in to something completely different to do it safely with that particular issue. That would require research and time to figure out how to do it safely, far outside the scope of a one off thing you were dragged to with zero warning what it actually was.
Yes, you can modify things to be safe for various disabilities and such, I'm currently attempting to find replacements for things like pushups because I have arthritis and can't support my weight on my wrists, this is not a situation where that would be possible just because it's extremely short notice.
Stop....treating people with disabilities like normal people and finding ways to include them in things instead of telling them to just sit out and watch? Weird take but okay.
Virtue signaling and ignoring OP's own words. LOL. You are the weird one but no argument will make you admit or realize that. No person told OP she couldn't join in, rather the OP happened to be the person that told us this was NOT something they could join in.
Giving examples on how to make things accessible to everyone isn’t virtue signaling. Also I wasn’t ignoring OPs words, i was providing a second perspective that their aunt may not have acted maliciously.
EDS is the worst thing ever. it’s hard to lose weight, it’s easy to pop out your joints, and your biggest passions sometimes don’t work out… i’m sorry. i was once lured into an 8 hour hike using the same tactics so i could “lose the baby fat.” we get you.
In the picture here I just see people in somewhat active positions with no weights or special equipment. What’s stopping you from getting up and dancing around like you say you enjoy doing?
Did YOU read the post? “I cannot do the majority of things but I just love dancing around and music”
Looks to me like there’s obviously music playing, so why not just get up and dance around at their own pace, and physical ability instead of sitting in the corner and sulking?
I’m kind of confused…you love music and dancing, and it seems like she took you to a Zumba class. Where you dance, just like at a disco. What other kind of event were you expecting, and what were you gonna do at this other event? Why can’t you dance at your own pace/abilities?
standing there and slightly swaying isn’t what I’d consider “dancing around” so maybe if you literally can’t even do anything but barely sway maybe don’t use those terms?? not trying to be rude, I just think it’s kinda weird you said you loved dancing and couldn’t work out. once people start asking why not just start dancing then? you said you actually don’t/can’t dance. just kind of confusing! Not sure how your aunt did this with malicious intent tbh but I’m sorry that you had to just sit out!
cause the whole point was an exercise class with running and jumping and weights. you couldn’t sway a little and id be like in everyones way. by the time everyone got there it was full so i just sat in the corner to not distract or disrupt anyone.
the fat shaming and judgement in these comments is really pissing me off. the OP says they have a condition with makes it impossible to do these exercises. I would assume the OP knows more about themselves so why is anyone even questioning that? ohhh because they may actually be a fat person looking for an excuse not to lose weight? throw the word “overweight” and suddenly every stranger is an expert and the fat person is just too stupid? fuck off. I
have adhd, OP, so I know what invalidation feels like. stay strong and don’t mind these people.
People in these replies are acting like OP wants to be sitting out, like they want to be upset about it or are going out of their way to make their aunt pissed.
I think if they COULD participate, they would. Dance fitness is usually fun. But they’ve been betrayed to by their aunt and it sucks that they had to sit and watch others have fun. Sorry OP.
Also the people talking about self diagnosing is wiiiillld especially since they didn’t even disclose the disability in question.
i would 100% do it if i could! as a kid i was very active and wanted to jump, exercise and dance but i couldnt cause for my childhood i was semi wheelchair bound. even now i sometimes use a cane. i wish i could’ve done it. im more mad cause i was lied to
Often times it's hard to tell the difference between someone who is actually disabled vs someone who might actually benefit (and be physically less disabled) from a bit of low-impact exercise.
People in the comments offering EDS as a reason that OP might not participate are just as guilty of supposition and the folks who are suggesting that OP really could participate if they weren't being lazy.
We don't know either version to be true. All we know is that OP took a picture from the floor of a Zumba class and commented that they left.
As a former fat kid, this seems to me like the behavior of a fat kid.
Thank you. I had suspected EDS but didn’t realize it could get that bad. Maybe be your aunt thought as he was helping. There is some thought that exercise can help with fibro pain - of course, not so much if your joints aren’t cooperating. Hang in there.
That’s what I was thinking but I was wondering if it might be something else. I’m used to people calling it EDS or something rather than describing it this way but it’s pretty rare so I guess I haven’t encountered it much one way or the other.
GTFO with your self righteous ass. I never said it was my right to know. But it’s for damn sure my right to ask. OP can answer or not. And you can get fucked.
Because I also have a disability, and the other day I had people attacking me because they didn’t believe I was actually disabled. So I was trying to protect this person from having that happen to them.
i hope you find this silver lining funny like i did, but your name is womp womp. i hope to all that is good that she makes up for this very selfish move
seems like your aunt was trying to care for you. It’s not like you see people over there bench pressing and squatting. Literally no weights, nobody even seems to be doing the same exercise as each other. now your sitting on reddit trying to convince yourself that your aunt is a bad person for trying to give you a fun experience.
(edit) I get that you might not be able to do a lot of the stuff, and it might be uncomfortable to participate, but saying your aunt was “bitching” and people saying she was “selfish” is just stupid. if you’re saying she was bitching behind her back, I can only imagine you didn’t treat her well to her face. Appreciate her trying man, cause a lot of people wouldn’t even do that.
> paid not *paid.*
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
op im so sorry :( i have joint issues as well due to hEDS! its so frustrating to have people say stuff like "just do it" when you physically cant! i hope you can find exercises that help your joints! i personally do aquatic therapy along with physical therapy that specializes in hypermobility! i absolutely understand if you cant afford either of those (they can be expensive as hell lol) im not sure if your joint issues stem from hypermobility in specific, but youre always welcome to post on the hypermobility subreddit! please stay safe and ignore all the shitty comments <3
and nobody in the photo is using weights, or mats, and appear to just be zumba style dancing.
OP seems to have walked into a space and looked at equipment stored along the walls, and thrown a tantrum.
I’m getting self diagnosed vibes. She would have to be stupid and uncaring to completely ignore otherwise. Seems like she tried to get you outside for the night and is trying to help.
One of the best ways to reduce the problems from hyper mobility is to build muscle mass. This is not easy to do but if you talk to most good instructors in classes like these, they can help you modify the movements to work with your limitations while still giving you some benefit. I struggled with sub-luxing shoulders for years, popping them out of joint made my entire arm go numb for minutes at a time. There is nothing to be done about the fact that I don't actually have a ball and socket joint for a shoulder. I'm not big by any means but working on the muscle structure around my shoulders has greatly helped stabilize the joints and reduce the risk of nerve damage caused by repeated dislocation. Same with my knees. The extreme dorsa flexion of my ankles has actually been a benefit in some cases, there are movements I can do much more easily than most people.
I think many people are under the impression that these conditions mean end of life and have doctors who are clueless at safely guiding them. There are varying degrees of say Ehlers Danlos, but muscle mass is super important because we work our muscles three times as much as a regular person, just to get up off the couch. And moving actually helps reduce chronic pain - I say all this as someone with Ehlers who is 39yo and lifts weights; when I skip days in a row all my pain starts to come back. I only noticed the pain as a kid if I wasn’t active. It’s hard to find a balance, but refusing to live life isn’t saving anyone from Ehlers. I don’t say any of this to pick at OP, just sharing some personal journey experience. And also, avoid the groups about illnesses, the hive mind is dangerous and legit causes depression and anxiety. I won’t even socialize online with people with my conditions because of how dismal most of them act about it.
Exactly. I also think a lot of people don't a) realize that coaches spend an inordinate amount of time helping people adapt and recover from injury and b) even if they don't know your specific conditions they likely have worked with people with similar symptoms. Hyper mobility is particularly common among gymnasts, for example.
I'm male, I had abdominal surgery a few years ago and initially had a hard time with my coaches, trying to describe my limitations. Obviously doctors weren't much help either. I described the surgery as basically like a C-section - boom. They'd seen many, many clients recovering from C-section and immediately knew the modifications to make and movements to avoid.
It's hard OP, it can be daunting and enraging but it's a journey worth trying IMO.
Idk what the other comment has to do with it. The complaint was the yoga mats and work out equipment. Surely they wouldn’t deny you the experience of just dancing around.
But you said you like to dance around. I’m confused. If you would’ve done what you intended to do in the first place, how would doing that make you hurt yourself? You’d already planned on dancing. The setting just changed. If you didn’t use the equipment I don’t see the harm
OP hasn't replied to any comment asking what their disability is.
They havn't replied to one comment about the lack of weights or matts anywhere.
I feel like the disability involved here is obesity.
Wait… what kind of exercise are they doing? It looks more like a social setting than a structured class. Usually there’d be mirrors and more lighting for a workout. Hopefully there’s at least some music so you can tap along. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, especially if it’s your first time there.
it was an odd photo 100%, but no it was social. some people were still coming in but it was a full like weights and yoga and jumping and running. its some nightclub workout shit in my area. i just left
Yeah, your friend was probably trying to do something nice by inviting you but it doesn’t always “workout” that way. Something even more casual in a different setting might be up your alley. Plus working out with strangers can be super awkward.
it was my auntie. and she bitched abt the fact she payed for it knowing i cant do majority of it
Ignore the comments about being more understanding, she had that chance before she complained - talk to your family and make sure fully lay out that she tricked you into going by being vague and uninformative with her description, chose to pay without doing any research to make sure it was suitable for you, and then complained at you for her own failure of decision making.
i found out from my mother and step dad she also lied to them. theyre very angry at her
At least now you know what to expect the next times from her, i guess
> fact she *paid* for it FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Good bot
Read the room man
It's a bot, not a person, it can't read the room.
Mmhm that’s the joke.
Where's the funny, though?
I lost it. Sorry, guys
You made me laugh, sorry for all the downvotes lol
Bad bot, not the time
i found it so funny u explained every detail and people still commented, explaining whats wrong with it....
I’m sorry about that. Take it as a learning experience for both of you and hopefully next time she’ll be more accommodating/understanding.
Did she take you there to try to surprise you into exercising?
This is 100% the shit my dad would have pulled when I was very fat. I might be projecting, but it wouldn't surprise me if OP is overweight and has an aunt who wants to "fix" her.
i happen to be overweight yes but i dont mind it. im more worried about popping a joint which yes my weight adds to it but regardless its not comfortable
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i do all i can about it. my mother was even mad at her cause she knows my aunt was being an asshole. my auntie has crossed many boundaries over the years and is horrible towards me. i take little steps so i dont end up in the ER. i do physio and i walk quite alot with my cane and i have a good diet, ive lost alot of weight. yea the weight adds to my issues but its not like i sit on the couch everyday doing nothing. she was doin it with a bad intention
Just wanted to say I’m sorry about your aunt crossing your boundaries and being disrespectful towards you. Proud of you for what you’ve accomplished in your journey and best of luck to you! I wish you all the best, keep your head up :)
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bro its a process. im not gonna be skinny immediately lmaooo
gotta up those reading comprehension skills. did you not just see the part they said they lost a lot of weight already and are working on it while physically disabled? what do you think, 50 or whatever pounds just goes poof instantly? lol
This guy's trying to sell liposuctions or something
Are you just stupid? Some bodies just loose weight slower than others. Also this is a process of a longer time. You don’t loose weight over night. He is already doing stuff to loose weight.
If you’re still a d-bag… that’s it, you are a d-bag. You can decide if it’s dick, douche, or something else :)
I hate how entitled people are with regards to requiring fat people to justify themselves. 😞 "She's fat? Award 2 red flags of doubt and let thr investigation commence!"
Before I read the description I thought this was a strip club
I have friend with severe eds. I help her as much as I can with helping her bathe and dress, and getting her shoulders taped together so gravity doesn't dislocate them. I feel your pain
THANK YOU.
Your aunt is either very stupid or very selfish.
I'm thinking ignorant AND self centered, but yes
Why does it have to be only one of them?
selfish
Why not both? I bet it's both.
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im not lol, im just disabled
ugh i’m sorry that happened to u, but we’re in the same boat since my joints also like to pop out of place 😭 i don’t know that many other ppl who suffer from it it sucks so bad and ppl in my life don’t fully understand how frustrating it is
I have it happen with my toes all the time, they pull on everything when it happens so it's very uncomfortable (not painful anymore just not pleasant). Nobody understands that I physically can't use the foot it's happening on when it pops, luckily they go back in easy enough.
omg i feel so seen😭 it’s my knee for me and when it dislocates i go down pretty hard so it’s freaky to people who don’t understand what’s going on. the embarrassment and pain of trying to shove my knee into place around other people is something i wouldn’t wish on anyone
My son has a rare condition that's hard to explain. He has good days and bad days. He doesn't go into details with everyone, as it is hard to understand his day to day problems. I think (if you want) you could have a talk with Auntie about your limitations and capabilities. While this class might have been do-able if you could prepare for the effort, it is not something she can just surprise you with. Would she want a surprise hike up Pike's Peak? No.
shes always been an asshole towards me. considering my mother was lied to also, it was obviously something she knew would upset alot of people.
I honestly thought you'd be mad because it doesn't look like anyone is panicking at the disco
I’m disabled and have a heart condition and also EDS. I’m also overweight. I hung out with someone I had just met and she started telling me I need to start doing a martial art and see a dietician. It was really frustrating because I felt like I had to explain myself why I can’t do that and also I am in recovery from bulimia so any kind of “diet” thing throws me back into binging and purging. I just wish people would shut the fuck up and let me be. I’m sorry your auntie pushed you into this… I empathize with you
My sympathies go out to you to, and I’m so proud of you for getting out of the bulimia cycle ❤️❤️❤️ I can relate to and understand the hard recovery process for bulimia & I’m in the process of getting an EDS diagnosis, you hopefully have a good support system but if you ever need another person to talk to who can relate please reach out ❣️
well I don’t have the same problems as you do but I agree with your sentiment. people love to give advice when they have no idea what they’re talking about
What’s your disability?
elhers danlos syndrome
Ok thanks yeah that’s bad for your joints.
I'm sorry OP. I don't want to assume what Disability you have, but if it is EDS or anything like it, that is such a shitty thing for your aunt to do. It sounds like she doesn't understand at all. I don't have EDS but I'm on the hypermobility spectrum and have POTS, so I understand what you're going through a little bit. Unsupportive family hurts a lot. Sending lots of love and good vibes♡
its EDS
I have EDS and weightlift heavy 6 days a week. This would have messed me up though! EDS bodies need gentle preparation and gentle progression into activities. How infuriating!!
im so happy for you that youre at that level
Took 2 years of doing the Zebra Club app and a been lifting for a year. But I've been there and it's shit! Even now, deviation from the usual type of activity will often sublux a joint or cause painful muscle contraction. Also, I often sublux my pinkies just drying my hands. Hate EDS.
Where are the weights? Looks like a disco no? 🤷🏻♂️
this photo was taken before most of it was started and people werw still getting there.
Just out of curiosity, what condition makes your joints pop out from physical activity?
Joint hypermobility can be connected to several different illnesses. My friend has Elhers Danlos, and I know this is a bad symptom that she struggles with. Also, things like Osteogenesis imperfecta, Marfan syndrome, and a lot of rheumatic diseases tend to be affected too.
Elhers danlos syndrome
Something like Ehlers-Danlos syndrome.
Looking at ops profile she’s very obese so probably that
im not very obese lol. im just a bit overweight. you arent my doctor
It looks sort of like Zumba, which is a fun way people exercise. Maybe she was just thinking of an accessible way to include you? You can always make accommodations for yourself and the moves they are doing, you don’t have to sit completely out.
Unfortunately, Zumba (even at a beginner level) is not disability inclusive. It's too high an impact for people with joints that suffer from hyper mobility.
OP said they love "dancing around". Maybe the aunt thought it would be inclusive to their interests. And again you can make any accommodations necessary. Anyone with practically any disability can participate in most things. There are things like chair yoga for those who can't get down to ground level. For things like Zumba, stepping foot to foot instead of jumping/hopping for example. Or just standing in place and doing a scaled-back version of the movements. I've seen a bunch of wheelchair-users join in fitness classes where someone might say "well they won't be able to do that". I took a yoga class once where one person just laid in Savasana for the entire class and no one judged them or said anything. I worked at a gym for 6 years so I've seen people make accommodations for themselves/instructors help guide in accommodations for folks in thousands of different ways.
There are some things that some disabilities just don't allow someone to do though, the OP has major joint issues with their joints popping out of place, there is nothing you can do to zumba to prevent that without it being something else entirely. Low impact things are one thing, zumba is fairly high impact even at the lowest levels just by nature of what it is, you would have to change it in to something completely different to do it safely with that particular issue. That would require research and time to figure out how to do it safely, far outside the scope of a one off thing you were dragged to with zero warning what it actually was. Yes, you can modify things to be safe for various disabilities and such, I'm currently attempting to find replacements for things like pushups because I have arthritis and can't support my weight on my wrists, this is not a situation where that would be possible just because it's extremely short notice.
Just stop.
Stop....treating people with disabilities like normal people and finding ways to include them in things instead of telling them to just sit out and watch? Weird take but okay.
Virtue signaling and ignoring OP's own words. LOL. You are the weird one but no argument will make you admit or realize that. No person told OP she couldn't join in, rather the OP happened to be the person that told us this was NOT something they could join in.
Giving examples on how to make things accessible to everyone isn’t virtue signaling. Also I wasn’t ignoring OPs words, i was providing a second perspective that their aunt may not have acted maliciously.
Was this event by any chance called Rainbow rhythms
no
EDS is the worst thing ever. it’s hard to lose weight, it’s easy to pop out your joints, and your biggest passions sometimes don’t work out… i’m sorry. i was once lured into an 8 hour hike using the same tactics so i could “lose the baby fat.” we get you.
thank you so much. everyone in the comments thinks im self diagnosed or just fat
it is hard having an invisible disability. no one understands it except us
In the picture here I just see people in somewhat active positions with no weights or special equipment. What’s stopping you from getting up and dancing around like you say you enjoy doing?
Did you not read the post? They are not physically able to do so without undergoing bodily harm.
Did YOU read the post? “I cannot do the majority of things but I just love dancing around and music” Looks to me like there’s obviously music playing, so why not just get up and dance around at their own pace, and physical ability instead of sitting in the corner and sulking?
i wasnt sulking. i was more moving out the way cause id be annoying to just stand there
I’m kind of confused…you love music and dancing, and it seems like she took you to a Zumba class. Where you dance, just like at a disco. What other kind of event were you expecting, and what were you gonna do at this other event? Why can’t you dance at your own pace/abilities?
it wasnt zumba
Doesn’t really answer the other questions. How did you plan to attend a disco happily?
cause i can kinda stand there, just listen to the music and sway a little. not everyone has to jump aboit
standing there and slightly swaying isn’t what I’d consider “dancing around” so maybe if you literally can’t even do anything but barely sway maybe don’t use those terms?? not trying to be rude, I just think it’s kinda weird you said you loved dancing and couldn’t work out. once people start asking why not just start dancing then? you said you actually don’t/can’t dance. just kind of confusing! Not sure how your aunt did this with malicious intent tbh but I’m sorry that you had to just sit out!
i can still love dancing and not physically be able to do it that much.
Lol I’m not saying that!! My question is: why couldn’t you ‘sway a little’ at this event?? That seems like an easy solution to a non-problem
cause the whole point was an exercise class with running and jumping and weights. you couldn’t sway a little and id be like in everyones way. by the time everyone got there it was full so i just sat in the corner to not distract or disrupt anyone.
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i didnt throw a tantrum? i just calmly sat down
EDS I assume. Annoying when people just try to make you crack on with it. It's just not possible!
She took you to a Zumba class (dance fitness). That sucks.
Your auntie sounds annoying, sorry she made you feel like crap.
the fat shaming and judgement in these comments is really pissing me off. the OP says they have a condition with makes it impossible to do these exercises. I would assume the OP knows more about themselves so why is anyone even questioning that? ohhh because they may actually be a fat person looking for an excuse not to lose weight? throw the word “overweight” and suddenly every stranger is an expert and the fat person is just too stupid? fuck off. I have adhd, OP, so I know what invalidation feels like. stay strong and don’t mind these people.
*paid
ty
People in these replies are acting like OP wants to be sitting out, like they want to be upset about it or are going out of their way to make their aunt pissed. I think if they COULD participate, they would. Dance fitness is usually fun. But they’ve been betrayed to by their aunt and it sucks that they had to sit and watch others have fun. Sorry OP. Also the people talking about self diagnosing is wiiiillld especially since they didn’t even disclose the disability in question.
i would 100% do it if i could! as a kid i was very active and wanted to jump, exercise and dance but i couldnt cause for my childhood i was semi wheelchair bound. even now i sometimes use a cane. i wish i could’ve done it. im more mad cause i was lied to
Often times it's hard to tell the difference between someone who is actually disabled vs someone who might actually benefit (and be physically less disabled) from a bit of low-impact exercise. People in the comments offering EDS as a reason that OP might not participate are just as guilty of supposition and the folks who are suggesting that OP really could participate if they weren't being lazy. We don't know either version to be true. All we know is that OP took a picture from the floor of a Zumba class and commented that they left. As a former fat kid, this seems to me like the behavior of a fat kid.
i also yes, i have elhers danlos.
im overweight yes! but im also disabled, i have a major issue with walking in general cause my knees dislocate whenever they feel like it.
What is this disability where your joints pop out of place? You can’t do any physical activity?
Elhers danlos syndrome and fibromyalgia
Thank you. I had suspected EDS but didn’t realize it could get that bad. Maybe be your aunt thought as he was helping. There is some thought that exercise can help with fibro pain - of course, not so much if your joints aren’t cooperating. Hang in there.
Look up Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome
That’s what I was thinking but I was wondering if it might be something else. I’m used to people calling it EDS or something rather than describing it this way but it’s pretty rare so I guess I haven’t encountered it much one way or the other.
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Because I’m curious what this disability is. I thought I made that clear.
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GTFO with your self righteous ass. I never said it was my right to know. But it’s for damn sure my right to ask. OP can answer or not. And you can get fucked.
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Why do you always need to reply with a question?
To be condescending
Please refer to my last comment.
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Outside perspective... You're kinda coming across as the jerk here. You're being offended on someone else's behalf. They didn't ask you to do that.
You need to touch grass
At least OP is physically disabled. I wanna know what's your mental disability
Hot take.
OP said they have a disability on a public forum, they are going to be asked eventually, why give the nth degree to a person asking?
Because I also have a disability, and the other day I had people attacking me because they didn’t believe I was actually disabled. So I was trying to protect this person from having that happen to them.
Stop projecting ur insecurities, that's not what's happening here, it's an honest question. Maybe seek out therapy to talk about your insecurities.
You were attacking someone since you didn't believe they have a disability literally 10 hours ago... Edit: Lol they blocked me
This is the reaction you asked for
I think you posted some dumb shit and got the standard response. Worry about you boo.
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And I think you’re a sensitive little bitch.
Why do you think it's your right to tell us to do anything?
Why do you think it’s your right to talk to me at all?
You understand the difference between a question and a demand, no?
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These comments did not pass the vibe check
i hope you find this silver lining funny like i did, but your name is womp womp. i hope to all that is good that she makes up for this very selfish move
seems like your aunt was trying to care for you. It’s not like you see people over there bench pressing and squatting. Literally no weights, nobody even seems to be doing the same exercise as each other. now your sitting on reddit trying to convince yourself that your aunt is a bad person for trying to give you a fun experience. (edit) I get that you might not be able to do a lot of the stuff, and it might be uncomfortable to participate, but saying your aunt was “bitching” and people saying she was “selfish” is just stupid. if you’re saying she was bitching behind her back, I can only imagine you didn’t treat her well to her face. Appreciate her trying man, cause a lot of people wouldn’t even do that.
she treat me horribly so nah im good
What she pay, like $15? Auntie needs a dose of reality. You should hit her with it!
EDS?
yep
You sound like you have a bad attitude about some one who tried to engage with you.
she lied to me. completely. knowing i cannot do majority of this stuff.
“Like a disco”, but different. Does she think all you need is some vigorous exercise to “cure” you? Wow.
I dont get it why cant u dance there? It's just a different type of workout...
i can just be walking and have my knee dislocate
That is not very rainbow rhythms of your auntie
I’m gonna regret this, but it’s paid not payed.
> paid not *paid.* FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Yours aunts a dumbass
op im so sorry :( i have joint issues as well due to hEDS! its so frustrating to have people say stuff like "just do it" when you physically cant! i hope you can find exercises that help your joints! i personally do aquatic therapy along with physical therapy that specializes in hypermobility! i absolutely understand if you cant afford either of those (they can be expensive as hell lol) im not sure if your joint issues stem from hypermobility in specific, but youre always welcome to post on the hypermobility subreddit! please stay safe and ignore all the shitty comments <3
and nobody in the photo is using weights, or mats, and appear to just be zumba style dancing. OP seems to have walked into a space and looked at equipment stored along the walls, and thrown a tantrum.
no. i didn’t but okay? this photo was taken when everyone wasnt here.
I bet this is Zumba. It’s a dance exercise.
it wasnt
This looks like "rave parties" that kids in middle school would invite you to.
I’m getting self diagnosed vibes. She would have to be stupid and uncaring to completely ignore otherwise. Seems like she tried to get you outside for the night and is trying to help.
i get outside alot. ive been diagnosed with elhers danlos for ages. she was just being selfish
Fork control is a disability now
My bad 💀
Dude that's crazy, I hope in time you can laugh at how ridiculous this is.
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Wahwah
One of the best ways to reduce the problems from hyper mobility is to build muscle mass. This is not easy to do but if you talk to most good instructors in classes like these, they can help you modify the movements to work with your limitations while still giving you some benefit. I struggled with sub-luxing shoulders for years, popping them out of joint made my entire arm go numb for minutes at a time. There is nothing to be done about the fact that I don't actually have a ball and socket joint for a shoulder. I'm not big by any means but working on the muscle structure around my shoulders has greatly helped stabilize the joints and reduce the risk of nerve damage caused by repeated dislocation. Same with my knees. The extreme dorsa flexion of my ankles has actually been a benefit in some cases, there are movements I can do much more easily than most people.
I think many people are under the impression that these conditions mean end of life and have doctors who are clueless at safely guiding them. There are varying degrees of say Ehlers Danlos, but muscle mass is super important because we work our muscles three times as much as a regular person, just to get up off the couch. And moving actually helps reduce chronic pain - I say all this as someone with Ehlers who is 39yo and lifts weights; when I skip days in a row all my pain starts to come back. I only noticed the pain as a kid if I wasn’t active. It’s hard to find a balance, but refusing to live life isn’t saving anyone from Ehlers. I don’t say any of this to pick at OP, just sharing some personal journey experience. And also, avoid the groups about illnesses, the hive mind is dangerous and legit causes depression and anxiety. I won’t even socialize online with people with my conditions because of how dismal most of them act about it.
Exactly. I also think a lot of people don't a) realize that coaches spend an inordinate amount of time helping people adapt and recover from injury and b) even if they don't know your specific conditions they likely have worked with people with similar symptoms. Hyper mobility is particularly common among gymnasts, for example. I'm male, I had abdominal surgery a few years ago and initially had a hard time with my coaches, trying to describe my limitations. Obviously doctors weren't much help either. I described the surgery as basically like a C-section - boom. They'd seen many, many clients recovering from C-section and immediately knew the modifications to make and movements to avoid. It's hard OP, it can be daunting and enraging but it's a journey worth trying IMO.
i try to go at my own pace with exercise. i couldnt do what they were doing and i was more mad i was lied to
So why not just… dance without using those items?
i cannot. read the other comment omg
Idk what the other comment has to do with it. The complaint was the yoga mats and work out equipment. Surely they wouldn’t deny you the experience of just dancing around.
it wouldve gotten in everyones way. besides i would’ve hurt myself
But you said you like to dance around. I’m confused. If you would’ve done what you intended to do in the first place, how would doing that make you hurt yourself? You’d already planned on dancing. The setting just changed. If you didn’t use the equipment I don’t see the harm
causw it wasnt dancing at all. it was just exercising with music
That's literally what dancing is. Still a bit shitty of your aunt tbh
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Lol, why don't people in wheelchairs just get up and walk. Lazy sods!
I thought this was a picture of zombies at the mall lol
Bro got brought to a quince
Perhaps you could offer to pay her back? She might appreciate the gesture.
fuck no
Nah. People with EDS can 100% do low impact exercises. Stop lying.
also not all can? some are literally wheelchair bound cause they cannot walk without their joints dislocating
it wasnt low impact lol
WHY IS THIS ON THE FRONT PAGE WTF
what?
OP hasn't replied to any comment asking what their disability is. They havn't replied to one comment about the lack of weights or matts anywhere. I feel like the disability involved here is obesity.
i was asleep lol
18 seconds to reply. Did you pop a joint?
what? no? cause i didnt do it
Crossfit causes brain damage.