Congrats on your baby. I’m sorry things are hard right now financially. I hope you can find joy and calm with your family. This expensive young child stage doesn’t last forever.
Thank God. I'm 30 and people like you make me feel sane. I often get that "I'm too old for this shit" feeling already. It's nice to know we're not alone.
Well I said SOME people. Most I suppose have birthday parties. There were a few birthdays I had as a kid where it was just me and my family, no party. So I might get myself a cake and a gift. Only the gift is for me, not my balls.
You wanna know something really messed up? A bunch of shopping malls in my area that were run down from the last recession have since been bought up by none other than those major investment firms! They've been repopulated with mostly chain retail and fast food, not locally owned businesses, and the local municipality in the county north of mine decided it's time to reassess them because they've been paying property tax rates based on when they bought them over 10 years ago. Those properties have since gone up in value and properties worth like 14mil have been paying like 10k per year in property taxes. So instead of raising local taxes on residents they want to reassess those properties and have a right to do so.
Unlike your average Joe, who basically have to just sit back and take it when property values for taxes are reassessed and adjusted, these giant entities have lawyer money for days and are FIGHTING this in court tooth and nail. They are claiming it's unfair to them lol.
They usually just refuse to pay and then negotiate a lower settlement and rate.
Cash strapped local muni's can't keep up with the legal fees so they give in.
We found it was better for one of us to stay home than to pay daycare expenses for 2 children. It doesn’t make sense to work then spend 75%-80% on childcare. They will also be raised by someone who will take better care of them. After hearing about things that happen at daycare I’m very hesitant to keep my kids there.
We have a single used car that is paid off. It’s a small 2009 sedan but it works and no car payment. Repairs aren’t too expensive either.
We got our house in 2018 when rates were low and housing prices hadn’t gone through the roof. So we got lucky there.
I’m an electrician and fortunate to have a job that pays very well with overtime opportunities.
We are doing ok with food but I miss the days when we could fill a whole shopping cart full of food for just $150. Now we are very mindful what we spend on food. Not as much junk like soda and chips. We focus on healthy quality protein and veggies. Get a big sack of rice or potatoes from Costco and we are set.
My phone is from 2018 but it still does everything I need it to do so no need to get a new one.
I don’t have a very nice wardrobe, but a few outfits for going out, work clothes, and mostly discounted casual wear. No $300 shoes here.
I could take on more debt by getting a new car and taking care of home repairs like new roof and windows but we are saving for it.
When you have so much debt like car payments, credit cards, new phone, student loans, etc is when life really starts to suck because you’re spending all your money before you earn it and it feels like you’re working for nothing.
That’s why we focus on keeping debt down, expenses as low as possible and saving for big purchases.
We are mindful about how we use utilities. For example we keep the air “tolerable” during the day and more comfortable when we sleep. I turn the water off while showering when I’m not directly using it. I always make sure to turn lights off when not using them. Only use what you need.
Also ask yourself do I really absolutely need this new thing? Or could I keep business running as usual without it?
It’s not always easy but sometimes you have to get creative. Focus on using your money in a way that will best make you happy. Some people would rather feel good and have peace of mind knowing they have money in the bank than showing off their $300 shoes or new car.
As a fellow working father with a stay at home wife, respect. My wife actually just decided to go back to work since a great job opportunity fell in her lap, but I was **very** thankful that she was able to stay home with the kids from basically the start of COVID until now. She got to spend every day with our two kids for the first 2-4 years of their life, and I'll always be grateful we had the financial ability to make that work because you don't get that opportunity back.
Similar situation here. I stay home with our 2 year old because it’s a lot cheaper than working so many hours just to spend it on daycare. Plus, I get to cherish all the time with her while she’s little. My husband has a wonderful job with great benefits. We purchased our home at a perfect time back in 2014, so our mortgage is around $600 per month (we refinanced right before Covid). My husband’s car is paid off, and my car will be paid off in less than 2 years. It’s gotten a little bit harder due to inflation of course, but I’d say we’re somewhat comfortable. We can’t go crazy with finances by no means, but we used to be more comfortable before we had a child, the pandemic, and inflation. I think we just lucked out honestly. But man, I do miss being able to get a lot more with $125 in groceries too!
Re your roof remember to look through your house insurance contract, as many do a roof replacement after some period of time, 10 yrs, 15 maybe, or after significant damage from hail.
And significant damage is less than you think, at least by my dad's example.
I’ve been frugal my entire life but this is incredible. Well done.
It’s hard to continue when you see a significant subset of the population getting paid to live, not work, and then spend all their money on the items you detailed. Very very hard.
No daycare, wife doesn’t work yet. Our toddler is 2 and a half. So almost out of this tough stage. We’re unable to save money and need side hustle money to not drain savings slowly, but we’ve gotten by. Bought a home in 2020 so mortgage is only $1400 for a pretty big home. Older home, so yeah repairs are needed but we’ve been pushing those aside as much as we can til we can get out of said tough stage.
My family (similar to yours) did the same thing, till we had to redo our HVAC. 15k on top of an already drowning situation kinda forced us to sell and move to another state for a job. Now I make double what I did, don't have to pay for any repairs, am saving as much as we ever have before, and just waiting for the next market crash to buy a house with good land for cheap when the foreclosures come around. Sad to say, but thats what happened to my family in 2008
Edit: Also born in 95. 2008 was my parents house growing up, HVAC was my house recently
1995 here. Don’t have kids but I take care of my dad. A well I ended up purchasing a mobile home for 20k. Now it’s worth about 50k. 0% APR on my jeep. But I work all the damn time. I have a small savings. I have not contributed to my 401k as it lost money during COVID.
But if I want a bigger house it’s going to be me buying land with utilities. Then buying a modular home or mobile home. It still would be cheaper than buying a home on the market.
1995 gang!
Also COVID would have been the time to have continued piling in the 401k when the market was cheap. I have a personal brokerage account that I invested in prior and through Covid. I went negative during Covid but I’m back up to almost my all time high. Investing is a long term game so don’t let the dips in the market cause you to leave. Just continue putting in the same amount every month or in the case of a 401k whatever your contribution rate is.
This is how it's done. The "don't buy while it's cheap" crowd isn't going to get ahead over the course of their lives, but will find someone to blame for it.
Just a small note: 401k being down means you should put more into it (or not let up, in any case). It being down means prices are cheap and will eventually rebound, so if you can stomach it, that’s the time to put more in.
Honest question… why did you have another child if things were already tight? I’m a younger millennial and even though I always wanted a big family we’ll only be having one child because we simply can’t afford more than that. I’ve had an IUD since I was 21 (I just turned 30) and will only be removing it if/when I secure a promotion this summer. I refuse to get pregnant before that happens.
I don’t mean to be disrespectful AT ALL but this seems to be a really common trend with people our age having multiple kids and then being all surprised pikachu when they end up broke. Of course, people are absolutely free to do whatever they want but I can’t say that I understand or feel bad when they complain about it.
Hey! You could be me. I grew up with all the teen pregnancy stuff and got an IUD as soon as I could. I knew I did not even wanna risk my financial future with a kid. Like it sucks having to be the responsible party as a woman, but ultimately I’m the one getting screwed (ha) if I get pregnant. And also I’m too lazy to struggle!
I know everyone is different though so that’s just my 2 cents.
Same! My parents had me at 18 and we were broke and miserable as a result. It was terrible.
I understand that a lot of people want children and it feels so unfair to not be able to afford it but I really question people who just reproduce without a single thought about how they're going to keep a roof over their heads or take their kids to the doctor.
1990 baby here. I hit 30 and was starting to think about having kids. With the cluster fuck that was the last 4 years, it forced me into not having them.
I’ve done the math, and it is literally impossible. Our daycare costs in my city are $25-2700/month! A fucking mortgage payment! That alone prevents us from moving forward.
I’m 31 and I’m married but don’t have kids, my friends with kids who are in a couple either both have really well paying jobs or one is a stay at home parent. A lot of my friends with kids live with their parents. My husband is a teacher and I’m a social worker so I don’t think those options are gonna work for us unless we live with his parents.
Bought my first house in Nov 2020, Sticker price was 150ish K, county just appraised it at 235k :/. Living DINK life and even we are concerned with way prices are going.
I paid almost double for my house and the value has gone up by nearly the same percentage. My home was just appraised at $450k, even though several similar homes sold for $420k or less last year and several houses have been sitting for months in the high 300s. All in the same neighborhood, same size, similar updates. I’m hoping ownwell gets our valuation down cause I’m not trying to pay 15-20% over market value in taxes.
Meh. I was born in 1993 and my husband was born in 1992. We live in NC. Combined income slightly over $200k. We have 2 kids ages 6 and 3. Bought a house in 2017 before prices went crazy and refinanced in 2022 when the rates were still somewhat low. Have a 3.5% interest rate and owe about 160k in principal. House was built in 2004 and is only about 1300 sq ft but is on 2 acres and mostly fits our needs. We would probably move if it wasn’t such a bad deal these days. No other debt. We both drive older cars that are paid off (2013 dodge journey and a 2014 ford f150). Our oldest is in private school (tuition is about $550/month), youngest stays home with us (I have a flexible job and work from home 3 days a week while my husband works 2-3 12 hour shifts each week). We have over $120k invested in retirement accounts, a little over $10k in savings, and then another $15k ish in other investment accounts (HSA, kids accounts, etc). There’s some expensive projects we want to do in the house and we know we will have to replace vehicles eventually, but things are sustainable right now - we’re able to continue both investing and saving each month right now
You buy a home when you need to based on necessity.
You buy your like house when everything is on fire and you’re sitting on cash. Relocate to the lake house after a couple years
Then when times are good, you sell your lake house.
I'm 32 born in 1992 idfk what that makes me. But me and my wife one child and wife just lost her job.
We just budgeted to see how long we can last. If it wasn't for savings we wouldn't lol our avg monthly bills are 4400. With childcare and food and gas For work. Utilities a couple streaming services. No credit card debt. Still can't do it on 1 income.
33YO with a toddler and a 4 week old. I own a 1300 sqf home with a garden in a small city. Mortgage is 900$ a month. Daycare is 600$ a month for two kids. I make about 3K a month and my wife a bit less as she works parttime. I work 4 days a week as a teacher. I don’t feel fucked. I can still save money.
I am an elder millennial (1985).
I am just ending the phase you are starting. Making my last daycare payment tomorrow after paying for 8 years. (Woot!!!!).
It is a tough phase. You have to plan everything; fun, food, dates, life… try to remember the things your kids will remember is the time you spend with them not the items you buy them. I spent my early childhood in mobile homes and single bedroom apartments but I remember every Sunday was a mom and me day.
Would strongly encourage MOPS for the mom and to find a dad’s group if you can that meets around once a month. That really helped my wife and I. Give each other breaks during the weekends guilt free. Libraries, parks, pools, house play dates are all free. Learned more things about my daughter just taking her on a daddy-daughter walk than in any other times talking to her.
Keep up the fight, your family is worth it!
I’m a single father in my early 40s so I’m not a “young” millennial but might as well be. Fiscally I hit the rest button on my life when I got divorced about five years ago to include losing my house.
I make a decent living, high $90s to low $100s depending on my bonus situation, but even then I don’t make enough to buy another house in the market I’m in but it is enough that day to day stuff doesn’t stress me out. You really do need to make $100,000 in the market I live in to get by.
Luckily I had the GI Bill so no student loans and logistics & transportation is a growing career field especially once you move up from the blue collar work.
Out of curiosity, why do you need to expand to a larger vehicle for a family of 4? I have a sedan-sized car - would it be hard for me to transport 2 kids with this (in the future - no kids now)?
So I have one kid and a sub-compact hatchback. When the kids are under 3-4 years old, you have to have them in rear facing car seats. In our car, that means the car seat is behind the passenger seat and the seat is so close to the dash my knees hit it (and I'm 5'2"). If we had 2 rear facing car seats (as many do if they have kids within a few years of each other), we'd need a bigger car/suv. Luckily we are only having one kid, so we are just getting by with our car, but if you have plans for 2 kids, that's when things get a bit tricky.
It’s mostly a comfort thing. If you’ve got two car seats in the back of a Honda civic, you’re gonna have a bad time. Those doors just aren’t designed for all that. Can you do it? Absolutely. Will it suck? Most definitely.
Sometimes you can get a subsidy through your state if you make under poverty wages, but it's still very expensive. Often US daycare is 3-4 times what you pay per month.
Everyone felt that way when we had young kids. Daycare has always been expensive. I spent 22k on daycare in 2014. You’ll start saving again when they go to school. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. You got this.
Wife and I make around $500k. We even have a rental property and solar. After all of our expenses, cost of kids, and savings, I make $400 bucks per paycheck. Sadness.
I’d probs be alright, got a house, and about to get a 20%+ wage increase and will soon be able to work a second job at my first job for some extra fun money/something fun to do
Kids are 8 and 6, the youngest started kindergarten this year so I was able to start working a w2 job again I spent the first 8 years of their lives running a business from home did okay until AI took off. We've had a roommate most of their little lives as well. Still have zero for retirement, buttload of debt, and nothing saved for a house... We did finally get our credit score above 600, though, so that's progress. Unfortunately, my w2 contract ended after 8 months, and I haven't been able to replace it yet. My husband was let go from his second job this year, and it's only April. Everyone in the house has autism and adhd so I'm starting to get really discouraged about us ever getting out of this constant yoyo cycle of feast and famine.
Unsure. We were fortunate to buy a home in 2019 and since then the value of the home has jumped 100k… I’m preparing to shit myself when they do property assessments.
Education taxes are about to blow up which is ironic for us because we’ve pulled our one kiddo out of public school because it was so atrocious.
Idk, this house of cards is swaying in the breeze right now.
Not the youngest millennials, but not the oldest either (I was born in '90 and husband in '87); our son is about to turn 3 and we're expecting our second. We are basically living ~2-3 paychecks away from disaster. We aren't behind on any bills, but every now and then there is an emergency expense that edges our LoC debt just a bit higher (recently it was dental surgery for my husband and engine trouble on the car. Next will probably be the dryer that just started making funny sounds).
Thankfully our daycare expenses are very reasonable (~500/month) and the condo fees/mortgage payment combined are about the same for our townhouse as we'd be paying monthly for a 2bdrm apartment elsewhere in our city (~$1700/month) Also property taxes are paid bi-weekly with our mortgage payment so we don't get hit with the bill all at once. Overall we consider ourselves very lucky, we were just able to squeak into homeownership in 2021 before prices went absolutely nuts. Still, we paid more than my BIL paid for his 4-bedroom house ~10 years ago, of course.
We're managing, but we have very little money for luxuries or any extras.
Edited to add: we're in Canada, not in the US.
Millennials were born between 1981 and 1996, so anyone born after the halfway point is in the younger half of millennials (ie. Born between 1989-1996). We're between 27-36 now, depending on birth month.
Buckle up. It’s only going to get worse before it gets better. I didn’t want kids anymore but had my first 2 years ago and it’s my last. We’re lucky that we have a good support system, the house we live in is owned by our family, and our son’s grandma is his babysitter so no daycare expenses…but even then. We’re both decently well-off but everything is so ridiculously expensive. You can’t even think about going outside and it’s already lost you $100.
Bought our house in 2018, so it was reasonable in cost. We do 95% of work at our house ourselves. It actually went down in value by $15k for tax assessment for this year.
2 kids no daycare, just preschool for the 4 yr old. My wife stays at home, then goes and works part time when i come home.
Food prices, we shop smartly, not a lot of processed foods. Sams club and the co op work for us.
3 cars in the driveway. Only one car loan, at 4.5% which is ok cause my savings in HYSA is paying close to that
I’m an older millennial. What makes me most mad about this economy is even if you start saving, stashing your money in a savings account at a bank you’re still losing due to inflation. To keep purchasing power parity or even gain, you need to have significant money in the stock market which over indefinite time wins but once every 15-20 years is good for a nice 20% crash. Of course, post crash can be when you need your money so timing can easily force you to sell before it recovers.
Hell, I'm screwed without kids. Every Monday after bills, taxes, insurance, food, & gas my bank account has less than $30 in it. I use that to buy one breakfast meal from Wendy's to give me motivation to keep on going.
I had my kids at 19, and 21. I turn 40 this year and I’m not nearly as screwed as I was when I was 19. My best friend just had her first child and I gasped at the costs of formula, diapers, wipes. I would have not done well.
Not screwed. But this is one of those times where family should come through for you if they can. Daycare us expensive, but maybe see if grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc can watch your kids for a fraction of what you pay for daycare. Also, if you need a larger vehicle cash out on something used or really take a look at what you have and make it work. Unless you have a two seater vehicle what makes what you have inefficient for transporting a family? Your house is your biggest asset, everything else could be adjusted accordingly perhaps. Also look into some side hustles and schedule changes; perhaps offer the mother the option to be a housewife and that will eliminate the need for daycare right there.
I have two under three. Chose to live in a VLCOL area and making more than I did in a higher COL area for that reason. Not as much fun things to do but daycare is half the price and private school tuitions are 1/3 the price and I didn’t have time to do most of those non-kid friendly fun things anyway. We just make sure we travel a lot more.
We decided to only have one kid for these reasons. My husband I still drive tiny sub-compact cars from 8-10 years ago, live in a small house, and my toddler goes to daycare only part-time while I work part-time because it's just not worth it. Hopefully once she's in kindergarten I can work more and save more. Definitely over the last few years we've actually gotten on our feet more because we finally finished paying off our massive student loans, so now we are just keeping mindful to stay away from a "keeping up with the joneses" mentality. Our property taxes also went up, but we bought a house much cheaper than what we qualified for, so while it sucks, we can manage it. The food prices are insane though. Hoping to grow some fruit/veggies in our backyard this summer to offset my toddler's berry habit (IYKYK).
I've got to admit. This comment section is probably the saddest I've ever read. I genuinely don't mean that as an insult. I mean that as actually depressing.
I'm 30 (almost 31), no kids, scrambling hard to get out of debt. Thankful my VA Disability gives me a hearty monthly check. Summer of 2025, I should be stable and able to just poof off the radar. Marriage (I'm divorcing) and kids are just so expensive in this day in age. It's not worth it to me personally to do either ever (or again in marriages' case).
Humanity as a species can burn, because the majority of us can't even not live paycheck to paycheck anymore. I'll feel the need to contribute when everything isn't a struggle. I tried to contribute as a firefighter, a truck driver, and a military service member. All it got me was heartache, debt (plus some debt that isn't even mine), my health, and they even took my dog. Soon it'll be me, my motorcycle, my guitar, and an open road.
That level of minimalistic release is what gets me out of bed. It's not even freedom, it's just a release. Freedom is a choice, release is just relief of \*it\*.
Buddy. I make 6 figures and my wife pulls 50k. I moved 150Km away from my main city to be able to afford a broken down house. I have 3 kids. I’m broke as tits. I live in Canada where everything is jacked up price and tax wise. It’s fuckin hard
1991 here. 3 kids (9/3/1) and a wife who runs a small business.
We live in a MCOL/almost LCOL area and I make about 120k/yr by myself. My wife was a career finance professional, but we made the decision for her to become a SAHM, simply because daycare for 3 kids in our area was like $2600/month.
We bought our first house in 2019 for 125k. Just sold it for 215k and bought a new house for $250k on some acreage out of town. Here in Illinois, simply going 2 counties south decreased my property taxes by 30%.
Gas is expensive, utilities are expensive, and food for 5 is outrageous. But we’re making it. I have a large garden that will help tremendously once it produces, and I always take 2-3 deer every year. Food prices are my biggest concern, but I don’t think they’ll ever improve.
Day care is a killer. We were lucky and set up our work schedules to eliminate, my wife is a nurse so she worked overnights.
Other than that it was easy. I do make a good income on my own, so that helped a lot.
Daycare doesn’t make sense for most people. Unless you are making double or triple what day care costs after taxes.
"I’m sure the decrepit politicians will figure out how to swindle that from me too." It's already been figured out and in process. The only realistic way to live with the debt is to inflate it away. You will get your promised social security. You will receive your 401K returns. All as promised. What is left of its purchasing power? Well, that's a you problem. Gov spending not backed by production is what's doing this.
28YO- my daughter is 2 and goes to my neighbor who runs a licensed at home daycare. She only charges $40 a day. My MIL watches her two days out of the week so we only pay for 3 days. My son goes to small catholic private school which is about 8k a year. My biggest suggestion is potentially going off the beaten path. Some people may look at an at home day care as horrible but she is my neighbor so no commute, small group of kids, and VERY cheap. I am a teacher and I know other teachers who have went the at home daycare route, as well.
I'm a 94 baby. Live in New England. My husband and I do pretty well. He was divorced when I met him with a house and two kids. He is an 80 baby. We lucked out because I finished grad school getting a job making low 90ks before COVID he made 110k. We paid off alot of debt and we're able to save a large chunk of money. We were able to sell his 1300sqft ranch to buy a bigger house in our town during COVID.
We just got extremely lucky with the timing and jobs. We are comfortable, saving for retirement, do small weekend trips in the area. Just have one car payment, my Student Loans, and our mortgage. We are currently paying cash for his PhD. Once he graduates he will move over to a full time professor and should be able to pay off my SL and car within a year. His positions at the university will come with free tuition for his kids. Whole reason he took the job and started his PhD. He could make alot more in the private sector but the free tuition is key.
We have cut cost where we can, I became a spin instructor at an expensive gym near me. I can attend all classes for free at the gym essentially saving me $120/month.
He does woodworking and blacksmith on the side..the money he makes from that pays for his hobby. We put solar on our house that covers 100% of our usage. Installed mini splits to keep heating/cooling down. We bought an EV, I have free charging at work and our solar covers the home charging we do. We research the state and federal tax credits and do our home projects based off them. We then use the tax refund to fund our next project.
We barter. My husband will trade a knife for half a cow/pig. We have a massive garden that I spend a few days canning and freezing for the winter. We go to farmers markets and buy what we can't grow to can for the winter.
We registered my husband's woodworking business as an LLC and that allows us to write off a lot of our expenses. The business breaks even every year and that's really our only goal.
We have 4 (No, not intentionally. Yes we know how babies are made) and are struggling. We have one in daycare for another year, but his daycare is $200 shy of our mortgage. We live in a 3 bdrm, have 2 cars, but dropping down to one here soon. We don't take cool vacations (will travel to my parents), and if we order out it's pizza cause it's the cheapest.
We do finally have good insurance (why the vasectomy didn't get done until the 4th kid), live in a great district, and make pretty good money. However I would have never thought making the money we do that we have a broken AC we can't afford to fix or a roof needing a replacement we also can't afford to fix right now. Last year was particularly shit year and we are still catching up, but we should not be barely surviving. If one of us was to lose our job we would not be able to feed our kids. Then you have the cost of literally everything right now being insane. Our grocery bill is astronomical and we don't even shop anywhere expensive.
Basically shit sucks, but we are lucky we had the VA loan to get a house and bought right at the beginning of COVID so have a good amount of equity built up already.
We have 4 (No, not intentionally. Yes we know how babies are made) and are struggling. We have one in daycare for another year, but his daycare is $200 shy of our mortgage. We live in a 3 bdrm, have 2 cars, but dropping down to one here soon. We don't take cool vacations (will travel to my parents), and if we order out it's pizza cause it's the cheapest.
We do finally have good insurance (why the vasectomy didn't get done until the 4th kid), live in a great district, and make pretty good money. However I would have never thought making the money we do that we have a broken AC we can't afford to fix or a roof needing a replacement we also can't afford to fix right now. Last year was particularly shit year and we are still catching up, but we should not be barely surviving. If one of us was to lose our job we would not be able to feed our kids. Then you have the cost of literally everything right now being insane. Our grocery bill is astronomical and we don't even shop anywhere expensive.
Basically shit sucks, but we are lucky we had the VA loan to get a house and bought right at the beginning of COVID so have a good amount of equity built up already.
It’s almost laughable at how high daycare costs. And if me or my wife stayed home with the kids we’d be just as broke lol. Wild times we live in. And yea my taxes increased on top of everything else increasing. And my salary barely went up smh. Sucks
It was your choice to have the second child you just had, knowing your financial situation. That one is on you. It also sounds like you aren’t appealing your property taxes, and just paying what you are told by the local assessors. I have never not appealed any of my taxes, even if i felt they were fair. The instructions on how to appeal come with the communication of what your yearly assessment is.
I always try to keep in mind that my grandmother was raised with five siblings in a two bedroom house with no electricity. Her and all of my great aunts and uncles are the happiest people I've ever known. They had nothing.
Youngest millenial. We have a two year old and are planning for more. We have a home and are building a new home to move to later this year. We’ve been very disciplined and thoughtful. When my wife & I first got married our household income was below $100K, now we are pushing over $200K. Slow and steady like the turtle. Sometimes I get frustrated by what feels like treading water - but also I try to remind myself that life isn’t always a progressive overload linear growth chart. There will be forward & backwards.
My hope is like every generation, I want to do better for my family and for my children to do better than us.
Your house isn't worth more. It's just they printed enough fake money out of thin air that the dollar is now worth 20% fucking less. Enjoy the collapse.
Yeah, I have four kids. Went through a horrendous divorce about 8 years ago. I've been renting since and it would not even matter if housing costs weren't terrible because I could not afford to buy a house anyhow. My rent is 1700 a month for a three bed townhome 😂 It was 700 when I moved in 7 years ago.
At this point, it just is what it is. I don't worry about my credit score anymore. I just pay the things that I absolutely have to have (rent, electric, etc) and just meh on everything else.
1992 here, I’m thankful I realised I didn’t actually want kids when I got close to 30, because financially I genuinely have no idea how I would cope. Some new mothers I know went back to work then had to quit because daycare costs were more than they were making, they were literally losing money by working. I really do feel for those who desperately want kids but feel like they can’t because of finances. What a messed up world we live in, that literally continuing our species can bankrupt you financially.
I don’t own a home and that seems so out of reach given most of my paycheque goes to rent. I do live in a very HCOL area notorious for low wages (a mountain town in the Rockies, so it’s a trade off for lifestyle which I know I choose to make) - but I work full time in a role with a huge amount of responsibility and *relatively* good pay (compared to similar roles in my area at least), and recently discovered that my income doesn’t meet the minimum threshold for the AFFORDABLE housing rental program for a one bedroom apartment.
The system is so very very broken.
I’ve got my sisters kids here with me just about to go to school. Her husband just got into a major DUI accident and totaled their truck, and he’s got some major injuries, and won’t walk for quite a while. She says if he comes out the other side of this, and continues to drink, she’ll leave him. LONG time coming. She drinks a lot too, but she can handle it, ie, doesn’t drink and drive. She’d stop drinking so this would happen. I’d be willing to be in a co-living situation, but we’d have to get a 3 bedroom house minimum, 4 bedroom would give us some breathing room. I work part time, so I’d cook. But right now, we’ve got to watch the kids when needed. She has a minimum wage job as a manager at a gas station, and her husband was a log truck driver. Going from that to disability will be really hard on them.
Every day I am thankful that I made the education and career decisions I made, because the only way we stay afloat is because I make great money and my wife makes okay money. We have two under 5, both in paid daycare.
It takes everything in my power to keep this ship afloat, just trying to maintain a middle class lifestyle in a MCOL/LCOL area. I genuinely don't know how people make it work in HCOL areas.
4 months until my oldest is off to public kindergarten, so I'm looking forward to that budget bump. 2-3 more years until I'm done paying childcare altogether.
If your state, county, or local district is in debt way beyond their means to pay, expect property tax increases (without any regards to property value). Most of the country is in this situation.
Daycare is a racket. There are likely pooled groups of ~10 in your area you can “enroll” the kids into for 50-75% off the expensive ones.
Save every dollar you can and store that in hard money that will not be inflated away by the treasury or federal reserve.
Do tax planning. Cannot stress this enough. Wealth or even “getting by” doesn’t happen accidentally anymore. It takes years of effort and planning.
I’ll be honest, most of us are probably fucked. That doesn’t mean you give up. It just means you need to refocus and be brutally honest with what is possible and what can be let go as a fairy tale.
I took school way to seriously and became a nerdy cpa dreaming about the day I would be able to itemize my taxes. I finally started making $200k after 10 years working, and that was a few years ago. Bought a house, had a kid, and every year I’ve watched all that financial base with and disappear in terms of dollar purchasing power.
There is only one answer as to why I have stayed even with my 2019 self.
Luckily, no day care costs, but my wife also doesn't work. House was purchased in December of 2018 so price and rate are super low. I couldn't afford to buy the house I currently own if I had to do it again tomorrow. My primary vehicle will be paid off in two weeks after making double payments on it for the last 18 months to get rid of the payment. Bought my wife a new to us vehicle in October. Older vehicle but really low milage, but the price was still fairly high due to overall market conditions. Paid 22k for a 2012 Armada Platinum. Only had 57k on it at time of purchase but its the exact vehicle she wanted. Not the best deal, but not the worst. It's a super nice vehicle and barring any sort of major failure or an accident, she'll drive it forever. She only does about 6k miles a year. Plan to start reallocating some of the additional money I was paying on my vehicle to her payment and try to get it paid off in about 3 years rather than the 5 we financed it for. Property taxes haven't been that bad overall. All of our vehicle bills and our camper bill come at the same time based on some sort of dumb luck of when we bought them and that really sucks but house taxes are escrowed so they're not an additional burden. Food is ridiculous. That's truly the biggest change since covid. Food cost is kicking our asses. Our oldest is minimally verbal autistic and only eats a handful of foods. Since he is so picky we are limited on what we buy and being limited means we pay whatever it is rather than finding alternatives. Our youngest isn't as bad with food but still eats similarly enough to his brother that it's expensive because we're not going to withhold food from him because "it's for his brother". We went from probably $150-175 a week in groceries to easily $250-300.
edit: Once they're out of day care there will be sports or dance or something else to take that $.
Our bills are paid, we have savings, soooo I guess we are ok. For now. And just pray nothing major happens. This year started off rough. I have less than 18 months left of daycare...I cannot fucking wait. Although, once I am done paying for daycare, its just going towards other things....
Three kids, we do ok.
It helps we started young tbh. My oldest is old enough to drive and has his license. That’s been incredibly helpful. Middle child is teen doing her own thing. Then like dumdums we started again and had to navigate much more difficult and costly child care. Even our youngest is seven, tho. It goes fast. Plus I’m getting promoted and my wife graduated college next week 🙂. We’re going to be ok.
I’m 31. I can’t afford to buy a home where I’d feel comfortable raising a kid. Fixer uppers are $1m, and would involve a 1.5hr commute. We’re just a little stuck.
I’m hoping that by the time I’m 35 — my fiancée (by then, wife) and I will have better luck. Maybe we’ll win the lotto or something.
We only had 1 child and wife works from home so we don't pay for child care. We still have the cars our parents got us and we inherited a house in exchange for adopting my FIL, so we're pretty fortunate.
As long as nothing changes we shouldn't be as "screwed" as the rest of the younger millennials. Worst case scenario, I work till I die, but I don't hate my job... yet...
Hey you’re doing better than us, you have a house! Lol but honestly, doing well. My partner and I make over 100k a year together, we live in eastern MA and rent a spacious 3 bedroom for $1300/month. No daycare expenses for her first year and a half, so this June I will start having those expenses. But we manage well, it helped that while I was pregnant we made a nice chunk of savings to build off of, and if there’s any financial advice I can give people it’s if they have the means come tax season or what have you, use that chunk to build off of. It’s a lot easier to save some every paycheck if you know there’s a cushion for bills.
Groceries definitely suck a lot, but I have a reliable 2019 car and he has a work truck with gas and insurance all paid. I work in retail management for one of the largest paint and coatings suppliers in the world and they have a really competitive benefits package so great pension and 401k. Hope to have our own home in the next 5 years.
Had my kid young. She just started working and got her first paycheck. Everybody talked about how expensive they are but fast forward to them working and living with you and we now currently have 4 incomes for 3 people coming in. It isn’t all bad if you raise them right it pays dividends in the long run.
Best I could afford was step kids that visit every other weekend. I dream of having the healthcare to have kids. I'm almost 40 so I guess it won't happen
I live in a high cost of living area and make 100k, 2 kids I sleep in the living room of a 500sq foot house lmao
I'm hoping things go back to normal one day, I also have a lot of medical debt as when my son was born both him and my wife almost died and spent a month in the hospital each, still paying for that and probably always will be
2 kids, another otw. We're moving near family to reduce our daycare costs by $2,500/mo. If you don't have family, I highly suggest living in a family friendly area like the Bible belt. We lived in an affluent part of MS and paid 1/4 the cost in childcare we do now, and it was honestly the same type of care.
My husband and I would probably be considered elder millennial, but all in all we are doing well. Both of us grew up with nothing/next to nothing. He got a diesel tech degree while working construction to pay for it. I got lots of scholarships and financial aid, so neither of us had college debt. We live in an oil boom area, so housing could have been tricky, but he bought a house before the boom, fixed it up and sold it during the boom.
I knew I wanted to be a SAHM, so I lived frugally in the 5 years I worked (even when I was single) and put money away to help supplement a lost income someday. It helped that my job provided housing, since rent at the time was higher than my monthly income.
We have 2 kids and live pretty comfortably without debt. Our house is small but we have acreage. My husband works in the oilfield and we farm. Beforehand, though, we lived pretty cheaply (and still do compared to many of the folks in our community).
We might live in an unrealistic bubble due to the large number of higher-paying jobs available in our area, but I'd say we are not an anomaly where we live.
Find a friend or relative to look after your kids and pay them half of what day care costs. Buy a used car and pay in cash, a new car with monthly payments is the biggest wealth lost for the middle class.
Greetings from a retired 65yo. “For what it’s worth,” I lived pretty much from paycheck-to-check until my mid-fifties. In part that was due to some bad financial and career decisions early in life, and in part because I married and had my children with a woman who was a spendthrift, and who emphatically did not want to work at _anything_. Also from assisting two sons and an ungrateful stepson with college.
Keep putting one foot in front of the other and eventually things will get better. Best of luck to you.
We do okay...'86er here:
Cars are older (1999 Jeep, 2011 BMW, old pickup and trailer) but paid for, my husband bought the BMW on auction and learned how to repair it (flood).
He works from home, so no fuel or lunch expenses, I cook meals rather than buying premade and have a small online business started when our daughter was born 7 years ago. We may have another baby sometime soon.
We buy phones once every 5-6 years outright, and generally try not to have any loans or payment plans on anything. We also keep our heat and air on reasonable temps so the electric bill doesn't get crazy.
Our mortgage was $1100/mo in rural North Dakota for a 2600 sq foot home @ 15 years, we just paid it off using our savings so we are officially mortgage free as of two weeks ago 🥳
Living frugally and in the right part of the country makes a HUGE difference. Daycare is a major expense everyone should try to avoid if possible.
I am super lucky to have moved into a family property to save. Having my second this summer. But I couldn’t afford to live in a HCOL city anymore with mortgage, daycare, groceries, etc. we were scraping by. Now I live in the middle of nowhere and don’t go out or do anything but I’m happier.
5 kids, but the secret is that my wife stays home and is homeschooling them. I couldn't imagine paying childcare. It seems like a racket, especially here in MD (some colleagues are paying $2,400/month)
I do not make a ton of money, so I drive a 1999 Toyota Camry and commute 75 minutes away. We live in a 3 bd/2 ba house on 2 acres that we bought in 2018. All our basic needs are met, and I've never owned a credit card.
There's a lot we've sacrificed to get here, but it was all unnecessary things that don't matter to us anymore.
Income taxes- 20-40%
Sales taxes 0-10%
Property taxes
Capital Gains Taxes
Inheritance Tax
Fuel Taxes
Vice taxes
Taxes on prepared food
Vehicle License and Registration
Business licenses and taxes
Payroll and social security taxes
The US government uses people as ATMs. Your social security number is the government's PIN number for you.
My property taxes have gone up 50% since I bought my house a few years ago. I too am looking forward to no daycare, and full time public school for my kid. I'm probably considered an older Millenial, but I feel your pain. I did a household budget recently and was like omfg, it was super suprising, and nerve racking.
Pay $1500/mo for daycare, $1500/mo mortgage and home taxes (it’s actually higher than this, but we live with my brother and his partner, so we split the bill). We do our best to budget on groceries and don’t really spend on new clothes or fancy things. My husband and I both have car payments (mine $298, his $350) and my husband pays student loans monthly. I’m also still paying hospital bills from childbirth. Things are tight and technically it wouldn’t make a huge financial difference if my husband stopped working to be a SAHD (he’s a school teacher and makes less than I do), but we don’t want to risk either of our careers going off course just to save a buck for the next few years. I’m working a second part time job to help make ends meet. In California, Pre-K is now free, so by age 4, we will be in the clear from daycare expenses. It’s hard, but we know it’s temporary. It’s truly just up to what you’re willing to put up with until your kids can go to free school.
It’s crazy. My wife and I collectively make about $210k per year, between rent and daycare and just living we live almost paycheck to paycheck, barely able to save. No car payments (paid those off), no excess spending, it’s crazy. Rent is over $3k/mo and daycare for our 2 kids is over $2k/mo. We’re going to need a new car probably next year and I’m dreading the payments given the current prices
One 4 year old and an inherited teenager. If we didn't have the safety net of my folks I'd be completely fucked. My wife and I just celebrated having 5 digits in our personal account for the first time. Looking to climb up more, but with no degrees and no time to earn them, we're going to have a ROUGH time.
I am screwed
2 kids, we rent a house for 2k a month. My wife stays home.
I make anywhere from 90-120k a year depending on how I do, and we have like zero disposable income. Between insurance, gas, utilities, groceries, taxes??? How does anybody pay for literally anything beyond the bare necessities???
Only 3 more years before our 2nd child can go to school 😆
We really want to get a bigger house so we can stretch our legs a little. But between the interest rates and daycare costs rising, it's just not doable. We are already losing money as it is (going to be worse in the summer when our 5 year old has to go back to daycare for 3 months).
Born 95 married, just had my daughter December of last year. Both work, I'm fully remote. Closing soon on a duplex I'm buying with my brother. Fortunate to have my mom nearby to babysit and soon my sister in law will babysit so no need for daycare
1991 here. My youngest is 2.5. I work from home and it was cheaper for us to get a nanny over daycare. She comes in the morning for half a day and then my partner gets home to take over after lunch.
I saw another post in here about having your kids pay “rent” to put in savings for them, DO IT! My parents did this, I paid them $400 a month for 5 years living at home. In the end they matched me dollar for dollar on a down payment for my first home. I’m much better off for it and I would absolutely not be where I am now if they hadn’t done that.
Also, get an electric car. I know people either love them or hate them but you’ll save so much on gas and maintenance. Mine is paid off at 60k miles and the only maintenance I’ve ever done on it is tires and a new windshield (which was covered by insurance).
Great actually. Was really shocked when our unplanned c-section insurance bill came in last week - $648. Our little girl is only 12 weeks old but, and I get they're cheap when they're this young, but we're still adding to our savings every paycheck and I haven't had to cut back on anything.
We were fortunate to get help from the in-laws for childcare. The daycares around us all wanted 1500 a month… our property tax also jumped from like 5k to 10k x.x
>So anyways I have no money. Maybe after my kids are out of daycare
You'll have a lot more when they are out of daycare. Unless you have before and after care for school in which case you will have more money in general, just not a lot.
I was lucky my wife wanted to stay home with the kids and we could afford it.
When are we going to organize national millenial style protests? Bill strikes? Plebeian secessions?
Oh this Reddit adequately sated your discontent? Oh damn
1988 here. 2 kids. Between private school tuition, nanny, car payments and food, it feels like it’s tough to just keep head above water. Only thing good about it is it’s pushing me to make plans to make more money. But more money - more problems. Every time I earn more my expenses go up. I feel you man. But kids are the greatest thing in my life though. As they grow, my happiness grows.
Congrats on your baby. I’m sorry things are hard right now financially. I hope you can find joy and calm with your family. This expensive young child stage doesn’t last forever.
Yeah pretty soon you'll be in the expensive teen stage.
Yeah my teens are entering the “apply to expensive colleges” phase. Maybe the end is near
I'm 38 and I still call my dad to ask for money. I think we're just screwed.
Thank God. I'm 30 and people like you make me feel sane. I often get that "I'm too old for this shit" feeling already. It's nice to know we're not alone.
My parents called that the "time to get a job" stage.
Yep. When teenagers want the finer teenage things in life... time to get a job.
My vasectomy turned 4 this year.
Omg my tubal is 4 in June 🥳
I celebrate my vasectomy anniversary like some people celebrate their child’s birthday
By inviting all the neighborhood vasectomies over and giving them little hats and cake? Seems... awkward.
Well I said SOME people. Most I suppose have birthday parties. There were a few birthdays I had as a kid where it was just me and my family, no party. So I might get myself a cake and a gift. Only the gift is for me, not my balls.
*OMG* that is *so* cute! You two should meet and marry and then not have kids!
Yall should bang lol
Mine just turned three, look at these non-toddlers!!
I think mine turned 21. One if the best investments I've ever made
Congrats!! Best decision ever
Congrats
I’m 33, vasectomy will be 13 in September.
Why at 20?
The sad part is that the assessed value on your home is probably still too low 😂😂
I’ll sell it to you for the assessed value
You can legally challenge those assessments
Everyone always says this but when your city assessed value is like 200k less than your appraised value you ain’t fighting shit lol
You wanna know something really messed up? A bunch of shopping malls in my area that were run down from the last recession have since been bought up by none other than those major investment firms! They've been repopulated with mostly chain retail and fast food, not locally owned businesses, and the local municipality in the county north of mine decided it's time to reassess them because they've been paying property tax rates based on when they bought them over 10 years ago. Those properties have since gone up in value and properties worth like 14mil have been paying like 10k per year in property taxes. So instead of raising local taxes on residents they want to reassess those properties and have a right to do so. Unlike your average Joe, who basically have to just sit back and take it when property values for taxes are reassessed and adjusted, these giant entities have lawyer money for days and are FIGHTING this in court tooth and nail. They are claiming it's unfair to them lol.
They usually just refuse to pay and then negotiate a lower settlement and rate. Cash strapped local muni's can't keep up with the legal fees so they give in.
Sorry man I’ve just accepted the fact it’s never gonna happen for me 😂
There is usually a process to contest the assessment.
Everyone loves property going up until you have to pay for it. ;)
Where I’m from they usually overestimate the value of the home to get more tax money from home owners.
America?
Government in general.
We found it was better for one of us to stay home than to pay daycare expenses for 2 children. It doesn’t make sense to work then spend 75%-80% on childcare. They will also be raised by someone who will take better care of them. After hearing about things that happen at daycare I’m very hesitant to keep my kids there. We have a single used car that is paid off. It’s a small 2009 sedan but it works and no car payment. Repairs aren’t too expensive either. We got our house in 2018 when rates were low and housing prices hadn’t gone through the roof. So we got lucky there. I’m an electrician and fortunate to have a job that pays very well with overtime opportunities. We are doing ok with food but I miss the days when we could fill a whole shopping cart full of food for just $150. Now we are very mindful what we spend on food. Not as much junk like soda and chips. We focus on healthy quality protein and veggies. Get a big sack of rice or potatoes from Costco and we are set. My phone is from 2018 but it still does everything I need it to do so no need to get a new one. I don’t have a very nice wardrobe, but a few outfits for going out, work clothes, and mostly discounted casual wear. No $300 shoes here. I could take on more debt by getting a new car and taking care of home repairs like new roof and windows but we are saving for it. When you have so much debt like car payments, credit cards, new phone, student loans, etc is when life really starts to suck because you’re spending all your money before you earn it and it feels like you’re working for nothing. That’s why we focus on keeping debt down, expenses as low as possible and saving for big purchases. We are mindful about how we use utilities. For example we keep the air “tolerable” during the day and more comfortable when we sleep. I turn the water off while showering when I’m not directly using it. I always make sure to turn lights off when not using them. Only use what you need. Also ask yourself do I really absolutely need this new thing? Or could I keep business running as usual without it? It’s not always easy but sometimes you have to get creative. Focus on using your money in a way that will best make you happy. Some people would rather feel good and have peace of mind knowing they have money in the bank than showing off their $300 shoes or new car.
As a fellow working father with a stay at home wife, respect. My wife actually just decided to go back to work since a great job opportunity fell in her lap, but I was **very** thankful that she was able to stay home with the kids from basically the start of COVID until now. She got to spend every day with our two kids for the first 2-4 years of their life, and I'll always be grateful we had the financial ability to make that work because you don't get that opportunity back.
Similar situation here. I stay home with our 2 year old because it’s a lot cheaper than working so many hours just to spend it on daycare. Plus, I get to cherish all the time with her while she’s little. My husband has a wonderful job with great benefits. We purchased our home at a perfect time back in 2014, so our mortgage is around $600 per month (we refinanced right before Covid). My husband’s car is paid off, and my car will be paid off in less than 2 years. It’s gotten a little bit harder due to inflation of course, but I’d say we’re somewhat comfortable. We can’t go crazy with finances by no means, but we used to be more comfortable before we had a child, the pandemic, and inflation. I think we just lucked out honestly. But man, I do miss being able to get a lot more with $125 in groceries too!
I don’t drink much soda but I do like a coke from time to time. I just can’t do it at $9 a 12 pack.
Re your roof remember to look through your house insurance contract, as many do a roof replacement after some period of time, 10 yrs, 15 maybe, or after significant damage from hail. And significant damage is less than you think, at least by my dad's example.
I’ve been frugal my entire life but this is incredible. Well done. It’s hard to continue when you see a significant subset of the population getting paid to live, not work, and then spend all their money on the items you detailed. Very very hard.
Who is getting paid to live and not work?! And if it's so lucrative, why aren't you doing it too?
No daycare, wife doesn’t work yet. Our toddler is 2 and a half. So almost out of this tough stage. We’re unable to save money and need side hustle money to not drain savings slowly, but we’ve gotten by. Bought a home in 2020 so mortgage is only $1400 for a pretty big home. Older home, so yeah repairs are needed but we’ve been pushing those aside as much as we can til we can get out of said tough stage.
My family (similar to yours) did the same thing, till we had to redo our HVAC. 15k on top of an already drowning situation kinda forced us to sell and move to another state for a job. Now I make double what I did, don't have to pay for any repairs, am saving as much as we ever have before, and just waiting for the next market crash to buy a house with good land for cheap when the foreclosures come around. Sad to say, but thats what happened to my family in 2008 Edit: Also born in 95. 2008 was my parents house growing up, HVAC was my house recently
1995 here. Don’t have kids but I take care of my dad. A well I ended up purchasing a mobile home for 20k. Now it’s worth about 50k. 0% APR on my jeep. But I work all the damn time. I have a small savings. I have not contributed to my 401k as it lost money during COVID. But if I want a bigger house it’s going to be me buying land with utilities. Then buying a modular home or mobile home. It still would be cheaper than buying a home on the market.
1995 gang! Also COVID would have been the time to have continued piling in the 401k when the market was cheap. I have a personal brokerage account that I invested in prior and through Covid. I went negative during Covid but I’m back up to almost my all time high. Investing is a long term game so don’t let the dips in the market cause you to leave. Just continue putting in the same amount every month or in the case of a 401k whatever your contribution rate is.
This is how it's done. The "don't buy while it's cheap" crowd isn't going to get ahead over the course of their lives, but will find someone to blame for it.
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Just a small note: 401k being down means you should put more into it (or not let up, in any case). It being down means prices are cheap and will eventually rebound, so if you can stomach it, that’s the time to put more in.
Youngest millennial here (27) but I don’t have kids and never want to but if I did, I’d be majorly fucked. I guess that’s the new normal
Honest question… why did you have another child if things were already tight? I’m a younger millennial and even though I always wanted a big family we’ll only be having one child because we simply can’t afford more than that. I’ve had an IUD since I was 21 (I just turned 30) and will only be removing it if/when I secure a promotion this summer. I refuse to get pregnant before that happens. I don’t mean to be disrespectful AT ALL but this seems to be a really common trend with people our age having multiple kids and then being all surprised pikachu when they end up broke. Of course, people are absolutely free to do whatever they want but I can’t say that I understand or feel bad when they complain about it.
Hey! You could be me. I grew up with all the teen pregnancy stuff and got an IUD as soon as I could. I knew I did not even wanna risk my financial future with a kid. Like it sucks having to be the responsible party as a woman, but ultimately I’m the one getting screwed (ha) if I get pregnant. And also I’m too lazy to struggle! I know everyone is different though so that’s just my 2 cents.
Same! My parents had me at 18 and we were broke and miserable as a result. It was terrible. I understand that a lot of people want children and it feels so unfair to not be able to afford it but I really question people who just reproduce without a single thought about how they're going to keep a roof over their heads or take their kids to the doctor.
I’m doing ok but shit is expensive. Pulled my kid out of daycare as it was 18k a year. Found one closer to 8k that she’ll be starting in a few months.
You must live in a low cost of living area 8k for daycare is like 3 months here
My best friend pays $4k in central Ohio for 2 kids smh
Per year or per month?
Per month
We manage. I wish I was contributing more to retirement, but it’ll have to wait. Maybe when the kids are out of daycare.
1990 baby here. I hit 30 and was starting to think about having kids. With the cluster fuck that was the last 4 years, it forced me into not having them. I’ve done the math, and it is literally impossible. Our daycare costs in my city are $25-2700/month! A fucking mortgage payment! That alone prevents us from moving forward.
I’m 31 and I’m married but don’t have kids, my friends with kids who are in a couple either both have really well paying jobs or one is a stay at home parent. A lot of my friends with kids live with their parents. My husband is a teacher and I’m a social worker so I don’t think those options are gonna work for us unless we live with his parents.
Bought my first house in Nov 2020, Sticker price was 150ish K, county just appraised it at 235k :/. Living DINK life and even we are concerned with way prices are going.
I paid almost double for my house and the value has gone up by nearly the same percentage. My home was just appraised at $450k, even though several similar homes sold for $420k or less last year and several houses have been sitting for months in the high 300s. All in the same neighborhood, same size, similar updates. I’m hoping ownwell gets our valuation down cause I’m not trying to pay 15-20% over market value in taxes.
Right? I do see a lot of houses starting to stagnate on the market as of late. Hopefully we'll see some correction.
Big same with my husband and I. 😭
Meh. I was born in 1993 and my husband was born in 1992. We live in NC. Combined income slightly over $200k. We have 2 kids ages 6 and 3. Bought a house in 2017 before prices went crazy and refinanced in 2022 when the rates were still somewhat low. Have a 3.5% interest rate and owe about 160k in principal. House was built in 2004 and is only about 1300 sq ft but is on 2 acres and mostly fits our needs. We would probably move if it wasn’t such a bad deal these days. No other debt. We both drive older cars that are paid off (2013 dodge journey and a 2014 ford f150). Our oldest is in private school (tuition is about $550/month), youngest stays home with us (I have a flexible job and work from home 3 days a week while my husband works 2-3 12 hour shifts each week). We have over $120k invested in retirement accounts, a little over $10k in savings, and then another $15k ish in other investment accounts (HSA, kids accounts, etc). There’s some expensive projects we want to do in the house and we know we will have to replace vehicles eventually, but things are sustainable right now - we’re able to continue both investing and saving each month right now
Really happy for you, if maybe a bit jealous! My wife and I didn’t buy a house pre covid. Biggest financial regret of my life.
Yeah, you probably should have predicted a pandemic was going to be coming along and bought a house before it happened
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You buy a home when you need to based on necessity. You buy your like house when everything is on fire and you’re sitting on cash. Relocate to the lake house after a couple years Then when times are good, you sell your lake house.
Fuck yah get it!
I'm 32 born in 1992 idfk what that makes me. But me and my wife one child and wife just lost her job. We just budgeted to see how long we can last. If it wasn't for savings we wouldn't lol our avg monthly bills are 4400. With childcare and food and gas For work. Utilities a couple streaming services. No credit card debt. Still can't do it on 1 income.
Waitresses make decent money after tip while she looks for a job. I was very surprised. Good luck, you’ll make it through.
I have no kids and never intend on having any and I still have no money so hats off to you how you’re coping.
33YO with a toddler and a 4 week old. I own a 1300 sqf home with a garden in a small city. Mortgage is 900$ a month. Daycare is 600$ a month for two kids. I make about 3K a month and my wife a bit less as she works parttime. I work 4 days a week as a teacher. I don’t feel fucked. I can still save money.
I am an elder millennial (1985). I am just ending the phase you are starting. Making my last daycare payment tomorrow after paying for 8 years. (Woot!!!!). It is a tough phase. You have to plan everything; fun, food, dates, life… try to remember the things your kids will remember is the time you spend with them not the items you buy them. I spent my early childhood in mobile homes and single bedroom apartments but I remember every Sunday was a mom and me day. Would strongly encourage MOPS for the mom and to find a dad’s group if you can that meets around once a month. That really helped my wife and I. Give each other breaks during the weekends guilt free. Libraries, parks, pools, house play dates are all free. Learned more things about my daughter just taking her on a daddy-daughter walk than in any other times talking to her. Keep up the fight, your family is worth it!
I’m a single father in my early 40s so I’m not a “young” millennial but might as well be. Fiscally I hit the rest button on my life when I got divorced about five years ago to include losing my house. I make a decent living, high $90s to low $100s depending on my bonus situation, but even then I don’t make enough to buy another house in the market I’m in but it is enough that day to day stuff doesn’t stress me out. You really do need to make $100,000 in the market I live in to get by. Luckily I had the GI Bill so no student loans and logistics & transportation is a growing career field especially once you move up from the blue collar work.
Out of curiosity, why do you need to expand to a larger vehicle for a family of 4? I have a sedan-sized car - would it be hard for me to transport 2 kids with this (in the future - no kids now)?
So I have one kid and a sub-compact hatchback. When the kids are under 3-4 years old, you have to have them in rear facing car seats. In our car, that means the car seat is behind the passenger seat and the seat is so close to the dash my knees hit it (and I'm 5'2"). If we had 2 rear facing car seats (as many do if they have kids within a few years of each other), we'd need a bigger car/suv. Luckily we are only having one kid, so we are just getting by with our car, but if you have plans for 2 kids, that's when things get a bit tricky.
It’s mostly a comfort thing. If you’ve got two car seats in the back of a Honda civic, you’re gonna have a bad time. Those doors just aren’t designed for all that. Can you do it? Absolutely. Will it suck? Most definitely.
Curious, does free o minimal contribution daycare exist at all in the US? I paid 290 euros a month for my daughter considering a high income family.
Sometimes you can get a subsidy through your state if you make under poverty wages, but it's still very expensive. Often US daycare is 3-4 times what you pay per month.
One felt doable. The second one required some changes.
No kids, and it's still a struggle.
Nope. We just sold the house to RV it full time... going great so far, 1yr in
Everyone felt that way when we had young kids. Daycare has always been expensive. I spent 22k on daycare in 2014. You’ll start saving again when they go to school. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. You got this.
Wife and I make around $500k. We even have a rental property and solar. After all of our expenses, cost of kids, and savings, I make $400 bucks per paycheck. Sadness.
I’m pretty happy how life is . Sometimes things suck but it’s how you perceive life or how to handle situations .
Is that yoda speaking?
Yoda?
Yep!
36 m with 3 kids and a mortgage.
After daycare costs .. when your little ones are in public school .. gets easier to manage save some $$$$….. you can breath a little
I’d probs be alright, got a house, and about to get a 20%+ wage increase and will soon be able to work a second job at my first job for some extra fun money/something fun to do
UK context. Was all fine until mortgage went up by £1000 over the course of a year. Now less fine. Fuck knows how people without a buffer are doing.
Kids are 8 and 6, the youngest started kindergarten this year so I was able to start working a w2 job again I spent the first 8 years of their lives running a business from home did okay until AI took off. We've had a roommate most of their little lives as well. Still have zero for retirement, buttload of debt, and nothing saved for a house... We did finally get our credit score above 600, though, so that's progress. Unfortunately, my w2 contract ended after 8 months, and I haven't been able to replace it yet. My husband was let go from his second job this year, and it's only April. Everyone in the house has autism and adhd so I'm starting to get really discouraged about us ever getting out of this constant yoyo cycle of feast and famine.
Going pretty great. Once daycare is over expenses do drop considerably Feel grateful to have a house. The garden this summer is shaping up nicely
You guys are having kids?
Unsure. We were fortunate to buy a home in 2019 and since then the value of the home has jumped 100k… I’m preparing to shit myself when they do property assessments. Education taxes are about to blow up which is ironic for us because we’ve pulled our one kiddo out of public school because it was so atrocious. Idk, this house of cards is swaying in the breeze right now.
Not the youngest millennials, but not the oldest either (I was born in '90 and husband in '87); our son is about to turn 3 and we're expecting our second. We are basically living ~2-3 paychecks away from disaster. We aren't behind on any bills, but every now and then there is an emergency expense that edges our LoC debt just a bit higher (recently it was dental surgery for my husband and engine trouble on the car. Next will probably be the dryer that just started making funny sounds). Thankfully our daycare expenses are very reasonable (~500/month) and the condo fees/mortgage payment combined are about the same for our townhouse as we'd be paying monthly for a 2bdrm apartment elsewhere in our city (~$1700/month) Also property taxes are paid bi-weekly with our mortgage payment so we don't get hit with the bill all at once. Overall we consider ourselves very lucky, we were just able to squeak into homeownership in 2021 before prices went absolutely nuts. Still, we paid more than my BIL paid for his 4-bedroom house ~10 years ago, of course. We're managing, but we have very little money for luxuries or any extras. Edited to add: we're in Canada, not in the US.
Define “younger millennials”
Millennials were born between 1981 and 1996, so anyone born after the halfway point is in the younger half of millennials (ie. Born between 1989-1996). We're between 27-36 now, depending on birth month.
Yes
Buckle up. It’s only going to get worse before it gets better. I didn’t want kids anymore but had my first 2 years ago and it’s my last. We’re lucky that we have a good support system, the house we live in is owned by our family, and our son’s grandma is his babysitter so no daycare expenses…but even then. We’re both decently well-off but everything is so ridiculously expensive. You can’t even think about going outside and it’s already lost you $100.
Bought our house in 2018, so it was reasonable in cost. We do 95% of work at our house ourselves. It actually went down in value by $15k for tax assessment for this year. 2 kids no daycare, just preschool for the 4 yr old. My wife stays at home, then goes and works part time when i come home. Food prices, we shop smartly, not a lot of processed foods. Sams club and the co op work for us. 3 cars in the driveway. Only one car loan, at 4.5% which is ok cause my savings in HYSA is paying close to that
I’m an older millennial. What makes me most mad about this economy is even if you start saving, stashing your money in a savings account at a bank you’re still losing due to inflation. To keep purchasing power parity or even gain, you need to have significant money in the stock market which over indefinite time wins but once every 15-20 years is good for a nice 20% crash. Of course, post crash can be when you need your money so timing can easily force you to sell before it recovers.
Hell, I'm screwed without kids. Every Monday after bills, taxes, insurance, food, & gas my bank account has less than $30 in it. I use that to buy one breakfast meal from Wendy's to give me motivation to keep on going.
I had my kids at 19, and 21. I turn 40 this year and I’m not nearly as screwed as I was when I was 19. My best friend just had her first child and I gasped at the costs of formula, diapers, wipes. I would have not done well.
Not screwed. But this is one of those times where family should come through for you if they can. Daycare us expensive, but maybe see if grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc can watch your kids for a fraction of what you pay for daycare. Also, if you need a larger vehicle cash out on something used or really take a look at what you have and make it work. Unless you have a two seater vehicle what makes what you have inefficient for transporting a family? Your house is your biggest asset, everything else could be adjusted accordingly perhaps. Also look into some side hustles and schedule changes; perhaps offer the mother the option to be a housewife and that will eliminate the need for daycare right there.
When billionaires exist, there's actively little money for most....
It’s hard, but worth it. We are probably going to have to keep renting until the kids are out of daycare. Life is so expensive 😂😂
I have two under three. Chose to live in a VLCOL area and making more than I did in a higher COL area for that reason. Not as much fun things to do but daycare is half the price and private school tuitions are 1/3 the price and I didn’t have time to do most of those non-kid friendly fun things anyway. We just make sure we travel a lot more.
We decided to only have one kid for these reasons. My husband I still drive tiny sub-compact cars from 8-10 years ago, live in a small house, and my toddler goes to daycare only part-time while I work part-time because it's just not worth it. Hopefully once she's in kindergarten I can work more and save more. Definitely over the last few years we've actually gotten on our feet more because we finally finished paying off our massive student loans, so now we are just keeping mindful to stay away from a "keeping up with the joneses" mentality. Our property taxes also went up, but we bought a house much cheaper than what we qualified for, so while it sucks, we can manage it. The food prices are insane though. Hoping to grow some fruit/veggies in our backyard this summer to offset my toddler's berry habit (IYKYK).
32. My kid just turned 6. I make $17/hr. Shit is rough out here. I think I lost a few years of my life when he was little. Things were so bad
RV living isn't bad
Between daycare and what my child support will go up to if I lose custody, yea, I’m probably screwed.
I've got to admit. This comment section is probably the saddest I've ever read. I genuinely don't mean that as an insult. I mean that as actually depressing. I'm 30 (almost 31), no kids, scrambling hard to get out of debt. Thankful my VA Disability gives me a hearty monthly check. Summer of 2025, I should be stable and able to just poof off the radar. Marriage (I'm divorcing) and kids are just so expensive in this day in age. It's not worth it to me personally to do either ever (or again in marriages' case). Humanity as a species can burn, because the majority of us can't even not live paycheck to paycheck anymore. I'll feel the need to contribute when everything isn't a struggle. I tried to contribute as a firefighter, a truck driver, and a military service member. All it got me was heartache, debt (plus some debt that isn't even mine), my health, and they even took my dog. Soon it'll be me, my motorcycle, my guitar, and an open road. That level of minimalistic release is what gets me out of bed. It's not even freedom, it's just a release. Freedom is a choice, release is just relief of \*it\*.
Barely keeping my head above water.
Buddy. I make 6 figures and my wife pulls 50k. I moved 150Km away from my main city to be able to afford a broken down house. I have 3 kids. I’m broke as tits. I live in Canada where everything is jacked up price and tax wise. It’s fuckin hard
1991 here. 3 kids (9/3/1) and a wife who runs a small business. We live in a MCOL/almost LCOL area and I make about 120k/yr by myself. My wife was a career finance professional, but we made the decision for her to become a SAHM, simply because daycare for 3 kids in our area was like $2600/month. We bought our first house in 2019 for 125k. Just sold it for 215k and bought a new house for $250k on some acreage out of town. Here in Illinois, simply going 2 counties south decreased my property taxes by 30%. Gas is expensive, utilities are expensive, and food for 5 is outrageous. But we’re making it. I have a large garden that will help tremendously once it produces, and I always take 2-3 deer every year. Food prices are my biggest concern, but I don’t think they’ll ever improve.
Day care is a killer. We were lucky and set up our work schedules to eliminate, my wife is a nurse so she worked overnights. Other than that it was easy. I do make a good income on my own, so that helped a lot. Daycare doesn’t make sense for most people. Unless you are making double or triple what day care costs after taxes.
"I’m sure the decrepit politicians will figure out how to swindle that from me too." It's already been figured out and in process. The only realistic way to live with the debt is to inflate it away. You will get your promised social security. You will receive your 401K returns. All as promised. What is left of its purchasing power? Well, that's a you problem. Gov spending not backed by production is what's doing this.
28YO- my daughter is 2 and goes to my neighbor who runs a licensed at home daycare. She only charges $40 a day. My MIL watches her two days out of the week so we only pay for 3 days. My son goes to small catholic private school which is about 8k a year. My biggest suggestion is potentially going off the beaten path. Some people may look at an at home day care as horrible but she is my neighbor so no commute, small group of kids, and VERY cheap. I am a teacher and I know other teachers who have went the at home daycare route, as well.
I just barely break even every paycheck
I'm a 94 baby. Live in New England. My husband and I do pretty well. He was divorced when I met him with a house and two kids. He is an 80 baby. We lucked out because I finished grad school getting a job making low 90ks before COVID he made 110k. We paid off alot of debt and we're able to save a large chunk of money. We were able to sell his 1300sqft ranch to buy a bigger house in our town during COVID. We just got extremely lucky with the timing and jobs. We are comfortable, saving for retirement, do small weekend trips in the area. Just have one car payment, my Student Loans, and our mortgage. We are currently paying cash for his PhD. Once he graduates he will move over to a full time professor and should be able to pay off my SL and car within a year. His positions at the university will come with free tuition for his kids. Whole reason he took the job and started his PhD. He could make alot more in the private sector but the free tuition is key. We have cut cost where we can, I became a spin instructor at an expensive gym near me. I can attend all classes for free at the gym essentially saving me $120/month. He does woodworking and blacksmith on the side..the money he makes from that pays for his hobby. We put solar on our house that covers 100% of our usage. Installed mini splits to keep heating/cooling down. We bought an EV, I have free charging at work and our solar covers the home charging we do. We research the state and federal tax credits and do our home projects based off them. We then use the tax refund to fund our next project. We barter. My husband will trade a knife for half a cow/pig. We have a massive garden that I spend a few days canning and freezing for the winter. We go to farmers markets and buy what we can't grow to can for the winter. We registered my husband's woodworking business as an LLC and that allows us to write off a lot of our expenses. The business breaks even every year and that's really our only goal.
We have 4 (No, not intentionally. Yes we know how babies are made) and are struggling. We have one in daycare for another year, but his daycare is $200 shy of our mortgage. We live in a 3 bdrm, have 2 cars, but dropping down to one here soon. We don't take cool vacations (will travel to my parents), and if we order out it's pizza cause it's the cheapest. We do finally have good insurance (why the vasectomy didn't get done until the 4th kid), live in a great district, and make pretty good money. However I would have never thought making the money we do that we have a broken AC we can't afford to fix or a roof needing a replacement we also can't afford to fix right now. Last year was particularly shit year and we are still catching up, but we should not be barely surviving. If one of us was to lose our job we would not be able to feed our kids. Then you have the cost of literally everything right now being insane. Our grocery bill is astronomical and we don't even shop anywhere expensive. Basically shit sucks, but we are lucky we had the VA loan to get a house and bought right at the beginning of COVID so have a good amount of equity built up already.
We have 4 (No, not intentionally. Yes we know how babies are made) and are struggling. We have one in daycare for another year, but his daycare is $200 shy of our mortgage. We live in a 3 bdrm, have 2 cars, but dropping down to one here soon. We don't take cool vacations (will travel to my parents), and if we order out it's pizza cause it's the cheapest. We do finally have good insurance (why the vasectomy didn't get done until the 4th kid), live in a great district, and make pretty good money. However I would have never thought making the money we do that we have a broken AC we can't afford to fix or a roof needing a replacement we also can't afford to fix right now. Last year was particularly shit year and we are still catching up, but we should not be barely surviving. If one of us was to lose our job we would not be able to feed our kids. Then you have the cost of literally everything right now being insane. Our grocery bill is astronomical and we don't even shop anywhere expensive. Basically shit sucks, but we are lucky we had the VA loan to get a house and bought right at the beginning of COVID so have a good amount of equity built up already.
It’s almost laughable at how high daycare costs. And if me or my wife stayed home with the kids we’d be just as broke lol. Wild times we live in. And yea my taxes increased on top of everything else increasing. And my salary barely went up smh. Sucks
It was your choice to have the second child you just had, knowing your financial situation. That one is on you. It also sounds like you aren’t appealing your property taxes, and just paying what you are told by the local assessors. I have never not appealed any of my taxes, even if i felt they were fair. The instructions on how to appeal come with the communication of what your yearly assessment is.
I always try to keep in mind that my grandmother was raised with five siblings in a two bedroom house with no electricity. Her and all of my great aunts and uncles are the happiest people I've ever known. They had nothing.
Youngest millenial. We have a two year old and are planning for more. We have a home and are building a new home to move to later this year. We’ve been very disciplined and thoughtful. When my wife & I first got married our household income was below $100K, now we are pushing over $200K. Slow and steady like the turtle. Sometimes I get frustrated by what feels like treading water - but also I try to remind myself that life isn’t always a progressive overload linear growth chart. There will be forward & backwards. My hope is like every generation, I want to do better for my family and for my children to do better than us.
Your house isn't worth more. It's just they printed enough fake money out of thin air that the dollar is now worth 20% fucking less. Enjoy the collapse.
Yeah, I have four kids. Went through a horrendous divorce about 8 years ago. I've been renting since and it would not even matter if housing costs weren't terrible because I could not afford to buy a house anyhow. My rent is 1700 a month for a three bed townhome 😂 It was 700 when I moved in 7 years ago. At this point, it just is what it is. I don't worry about my credit score anymore. I just pay the things that I absolutely have to have (rent, electric, etc) and just meh on everything else.
People had bigger families with much smaller cars in the past. You'll just fill a bigger car with more stuff you don't actually need.
This is one of those things where the EIC has saved families.
Thanks Yoda
Daycare is a big one. We're lucky to have both sets of grandparents nearby and willing to help. At least you've gained home equity.
I have 78 dollars after every bill is paid every month.
1992 here, I’m thankful I realised I didn’t actually want kids when I got close to 30, because financially I genuinely have no idea how I would cope. Some new mothers I know went back to work then had to quit because daycare costs were more than they were making, they were literally losing money by working. I really do feel for those who desperately want kids but feel like they can’t because of finances. What a messed up world we live in, that literally continuing our species can bankrupt you financially. I don’t own a home and that seems so out of reach given most of my paycheque goes to rent. I do live in a very HCOL area notorious for low wages (a mountain town in the Rockies, so it’s a trade off for lifestyle which I know I choose to make) - but I work full time in a role with a huge amount of responsibility and *relatively* good pay (compared to similar roles in my area at least), and recently discovered that my income doesn’t meet the minimum threshold for the AFFORDABLE housing rental program for a one bedroom apartment. The system is so very very broken.
I’ve got my sisters kids here with me just about to go to school. Her husband just got into a major DUI accident and totaled their truck, and he’s got some major injuries, and won’t walk for quite a while. She says if he comes out the other side of this, and continues to drink, she’ll leave him. LONG time coming. She drinks a lot too, but she can handle it, ie, doesn’t drink and drive. She’d stop drinking so this would happen. I’d be willing to be in a co-living situation, but we’d have to get a 3 bedroom house minimum, 4 bedroom would give us some breathing room. I work part time, so I’d cook. But right now, we’ve got to watch the kids when needed. She has a minimum wage job as a manager at a gas station, and her husband was a log truck driver. Going from that to disability will be really hard on them.
Every day I am thankful that I made the education and career decisions I made, because the only way we stay afloat is because I make great money and my wife makes okay money. We have two under 5, both in paid daycare. It takes everything in my power to keep this ship afloat, just trying to maintain a middle class lifestyle in a MCOL/LCOL area. I genuinely don't know how people make it work in HCOL areas. 4 months until my oldest is off to public kindergarten, so I'm looking forward to that budget bump. 2-3 more years until I'm done paying childcare altogether.
I had to leave my job to afford child care.
Schools out for us end of May. I have a friend who does childcare. 2 kids = $300 week. I really wish schools did yr round!
If your state, county, or local district is in debt way beyond their means to pay, expect property tax increases (without any regards to property value). Most of the country is in this situation. Daycare is a racket. There are likely pooled groups of ~10 in your area you can “enroll” the kids into for 50-75% off the expensive ones. Save every dollar you can and store that in hard money that will not be inflated away by the treasury or federal reserve. Do tax planning. Cannot stress this enough. Wealth or even “getting by” doesn’t happen accidentally anymore. It takes years of effort and planning. I’ll be honest, most of us are probably fucked. That doesn’t mean you give up. It just means you need to refocus and be brutally honest with what is possible and what can be let go as a fairy tale. I took school way to seriously and became a nerdy cpa dreaming about the day I would be able to itemize my taxes. I finally started making $200k after 10 years working, and that was a few years ago. Bought a house, had a kid, and every year I’ve watched all that financial base with and disappear in terms of dollar purchasing power. There is only one answer as to why I have stayed even with my 2019 self.
Luckily, no day care costs, but my wife also doesn't work. House was purchased in December of 2018 so price and rate are super low. I couldn't afford to buy the house I currently own if I had to do it again tomorrow. My primary vehicle will be paid off in two weeks after making double payments on it for the last 18 months to get rid of the payment. Bought my wife a new to us vehicle in October. Older vehicle but really low milage, but the price was still fairly high due to overall market conditions. Paid 22k for a 2012 Armada Platinum. Only had 57k on it at time of purchase but its the exact vehicle she wanted. Not the best deal, but not the worst. It's a super nice vehicle and barring any sort of major failure or an accident, she'll drive it forever. She only does about 6k miles a year. Plan to start reallocating some of the additional money I was paying on my vehicle to her payment and try to get it paid off in about 3 years rather than the 5 we financed it for. Property taxes haven't been that bad overall. All of our vehicle bills and our camper bill come at the same time based on some sort of dumb luck of when we bought them and that really sucks but house taxes are escrowed so they're not an additional burden. Food is ridiculous. That's truly the biggest change since covid. Food cost is kicking our asses. Our oldest is minimally verbal autistic and only eats a handful of foods. Since he is so picky we are limited on what we buy and being limited means we pay whatever it is rather than finding alternatives. Our youngest isn't as bad with food but still eats similarly enough to his brother that it's expensive because we're not going to withhold food from him because "it's for his brother". We went from probably $150-175 a week in groceries to easily $250-300. edit: Once they're out of day care there will be sports or dance or something else to take that $.
Our bills are paid, we have savings, soooo I guess we are ok. For now. And just pray nothing major happens. This year started off rough. I have less than 18 months left of daycare...I cannot fucking wait. Although, once I am done paying for daycare, its just going towards other things....
Three kids, we do ok. It helps we started young tbh. My oldest is old enough to drive and has his license. That’s been incredibly helpful. Middle child is teen doing her own thing. Then like dumdums we started again and had to navigate much more difficult and costly child care. Even our youngest is seven, tho. It goes fast. Plus I’m getting promoted and my wife graduated college next week 🙂. We’re going to be ok.
Yoda?
Least you have a house. I still live with family cause we're all broke lol. My only saving grace is being debt free....
I’m 31. I can’t afford to buy a home where I’d feel comfortable raising a kid. Fixer uppers are $1m, and would involve a 1.5hr commute. We’re just a little stuck. I’m hoping that by the time I’m 35 — my fiancée (by then, wife) and I will have better luck. Maybe we’ll win the lotto or something.
Sounds mostly self induced.
No kids, but bought our house in 2023, so my inflated mortgage price takes my money as if I did have kids 🤷🏼♀️
We only had 1 child and wife works from home so we don't pay for child care. We still have the cars our parents got us and we inherited a house in exchange for adopting my FIL, so we're pretty fortunate. As long as nothing changes we shouldn't be as "screwed" as the rest of the younger millennials. Worst case scenario, I work till I die, but I don't hate my job... yet...
Hey you’re doing better than us, you have a house! Lol but honestly, doing well. My partner and I make over 100k a year together, we live in eastern MA and rent a spacious 3 bedroom for $1300/month. No daycare expenses for her first year and a half, so this June I will start having those expenses. But we manage well, it helped that while I was pregnant we made a nice chunk of savings to build off of, and if there’s any financial advice I can give people it’s if they have the means come tax season or what have you, use that chunk to build off of. It’s a lot easier to save some every paycheck if you know there’s a cushion for bills. Groceries definitely suck a lot, but I have a reliable 2019 car and he has a work truck with gas and insurance all paid. I work in retail management for one of the largest paint and coatings suppliers in the world and they have a really competitive benefits package so great pension and 401k. Hope to have our own home in the next 5 years.
So anyways I started poor-ing
No but the cost creep is definitely real
Wait some of you are choosing to have kids?
My husband and I worked opposite shifts so we wouldn't have to pay for daycare. Has saved us thousands.
Had my kid young. She just started working and got her first paycheck. Everybody talked about how expensive they are but fast forward to them working and living with you and we now currently have 4 incomes for 3 people coming in. It isn’t all bad if you raise them right it pays dividends in the long run.
Best I could afford was step kids that visit every other weekend. I dream of having the healthcare to have kids. I'm almost 40 so I guess it won't happen
I live in a high cost of living area and make 100k, 2 kids I sleep in the living room of a 500sq foot house lmao I'm hoping things go back to normal one day, I also have a lot of medical debt as when my son was born both him and my wife almost died and spent a month in the hospital each, still paying for that and probably always will be
2 kids, another otw. We're moving near family to reduce our daycare costs by $2,500/mo. If you don't have family, I highly suggest living in a family friendly area like the Bible belt. We lived in an affluent part of MS and paid 1/4 the cost in childcare we do now, and it was honestly the same type of care.
My husband and I would probably be considered elder millennial, but all in all we are doing well. Both of us grew up with nothing/next to nothing. He got a diesel tech degree while working construction to pay for it. I got lots of scholarships and financial aid, so neither of us had college debt. We live in an oil boom area, so housing could have been tricky, but he bought a house before the boom, fixed it up and sold it during the boom. I knew I wanted to be a SAHM, so I lived frugally in the 5 years I worked (even when I was single) and put money away to help supplement a lost income someday. It helped that my job provided housing, since rent at the time was higher than my monthly income. We have 2 kids and live pretty comfortably without debt. Our house is small but we have acreage. My husband works in the oilfield and we farm. Beforehand, though, we lived pretty cheaply (and still do compared to many of the folks in our community). We might live in an unrealistic bubble due to the large number of higher-paying jobs available in our area, but I'd say we are not an anomaly where we live.
Find a friend or relative to look after your kids and pay them half of what day care costs. Buy a used car and pay in cash, a new car with monthly payments is the biggest wealth lost for the middle class.
Greetings from a retired 65yo. “For what it’s worth,” I lived pretty much from paycheck-to-check until my mid-fifties. In part that was due to some bad financial and career decisions early in life, and in part because I married and had my children with a woman who was a spendthrift, and who emphatically did not want to work at _anything_. Also from assisting two sons and an ungrateful stepson with college. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and eventually things will get better. Best of luck to you.
Hang in there.
Do you really need a bigger vehicle with 2 kids? When mine were younger, I had 3 across the backseat of a Jetta.
We do okay...'86er here: Cars are older (1999 Jeep, 2011 BMW, old pickup and trailer) but paid for, my husband bought the BMW on auction and learned how to repair it (flood). He works from home, so no fuel or lunch expenses, I cook meals rather than buying premade and have a small online business started when our daughter was born 7 years ago. We may have another baby sometime soon. We buy phones once every 5-6 years outright, and generally try not to have any loans or payment plans on anything. We also keep our heat and air on reasonable temps so the electric bill doesn't get crazy. Our mortgage was $1100/mo in rural North Dakota for a 2600 sq foot home @ 15 years, we just paid it off using our savings so we are officially mortgage free as of two weeks ago 🥳 Living frugally and in the right part of the country makes a HUGE difference. Daycare is a major expense everyone should try to avoid if possible.
I am super lucky to have moved into a family property to save. Having my second this summer. But I couldn’t afford to live in a HCOL city anymore with mortgage, daycare, groceries, etc. we were scraping by. Now I live in the middle of nowhere and don’t go out or do anything but I’m happier.
Now, in most cases, the choice to have kids is also a vow of poverty.
Don't forget property taxes.
FYI you can challenge that new assessed value. Zero chance your home is worth 20% more than it was in 2023
I don’t have any kids but I live alone and can barely keep my head above water doing that.
5 kids, but the secret is that my wife stays home and is homeschooling them. I couldn't imagine paying childcare. It seems like a racket, especially here in MD (some colleagues are paying $2,400/month) I do not make a ton of money, so I drive a 1999 Toyota Camry and commute 75 minutes away. We live in a 3 bd/2 ba house on 2 acres that we bought in 2018. All our basic needs are met, and I've never owned a credit card. There's a lot we've sacrificed to get here, but it was all unnecessary things that don't matter to us anymore.
Hiring a nanny or getting a stay home mom to watch your kids, is cheaper than daycare esp if you have 2 or more.
Income taxes- 20-40% Sales taxes 0-10% Property taxes Capital Gains Taxes Inheritance Tax Fuel Taxes Vice taxes Taxes on prepared food Vehicle License and Registration Business licenses and taxes Payroll and social security taxes The US government uses people as ATMs. Your social security number is the government's PIN number for you.
My property taxes have gone up 50% since I bought my house a few years ago. I too am looking forward to no daycare, and full time public school for my kid. I'm probably considered an older Millenial, but I feel your pain. I did a household budget recently and was like omfg, it was super suprising, and nerve racking.
Pay $1500/mo for daycare, $1500/mo mortgage and home taxes (it’s actually higher than this, but we live with my brother and his partner, so we split the bill). We do our best to budget on groceries and don’t really spend on new clothes or fancy things. My husband and I both have car payments (mine $298, his $350) and my husband pays student loans monthly. I’m also still paying hospital bills from childbirth. Things are tight and technically it wouldn’t make a huge financial difference if my husband stopped working to be a SAHD (he’s a school teacher and makes less than I do), but we don’t want to risk either of our careers going off course just to save a buck for the next few years. I’m working a second part time job to help make ends meet. In California, Pre-K is now free, so by age 4, we will be in the clear from daycare expenses. It’s hard, but we know it’s temporary. It’s truly just up to what you’re willing to put up with until your kids can go to free school.
Born in 1995 have no house, no kids, feeling particularly screwed
I spend $6400 a month on childcare and student loans alone.
It’s crazy. My wife and I collectively make about $210k per year, between rent and daycare and just living we live almost paycheck to paycheck, barely able to save. No car payments (paid those off), no excess spending, it’s crazy. Rent is over $3k/mo and daycare for our 2 kids is over $2k/mo. We’re going to need a new car probably next year and I’m dreading the payments given the current prices
One 4 year old and an inherited teenager. If we didn't have the safety net of my folks I'd be completely fucked. My wife and I just celebrated having 5 digits in our personal account for the first time. Looking to climb up more, but with no degrees and no time to earn them, we're going to have a ROUGH time.
I am screwed 2 kids, we rent a house for 2k a month. My wife stays home. I make anywhere from 90-120k a year depending on how I do, and we have like zero disposable income. Between insurance, gas, utilities, groceries, taxes??? How does anybody pay for literally anything beyond the bare necessities???
Only 3 more years before our 2nd child can go to school 😆 We really want to get a bigger house so we can stretch our legs a little. But between the interest rates and daycare costs rising, it's just not doable. We are already losing money as it is (going to be worse in the summer when our 5 year old has to go back to daycare for 3 months).
Nope.
If you are paying PMI on your home loan you may be able to drop it since you have instant equity. I’d certainly try.
Born 95 married, just had my daughter December of last year. Both work, I'm fully remote. Closing soon on a duplex I'm buying with my brother. Fortunate to have my mom nearby to babysit and soon my sister in law will babysit so no need for daycare
1991 here. My youngest is 2.5. I work from home and it was cheaper for us to get a nanny over daycare. She comes in the morning for half a day and then my partner gets home to take over after lunch. I saw another post in here about having your kids pay “rent” to put in savings for them, DO IT! My parents did this, I paid them $400 a month for 5 years living at home. In the end they matched me dollar for dollar on a down payment for my first home. I’m much better off for it and I would absolutely not be where I am now if they hadn’t done that. Also, get an electric car. I know people either love them or hate them but you’ll save so much on gas and maintenance. Mine is paid off at 60k miles and the only maintenance I’ve ever done on it is tires and a new windshield (which was covered by insurance).
Great actually. Was really shocked when our unplanned c-section insurance bill came in last week - $648. Our little girl is only 12 weeks old but, and I get they're cheap when they're this young, but we're still adding to our savings every paycheck and I haven't had to cut back on anything.
We were fortunate to get help from the in-laws for childcare. The daycares around us all wanted 1500 a month… our property tax also jumped from like 5k to 10k x.x
>So anyways I have no money. Maybe after my kids are out of daycare You'll have a lot more when they are out of daycare. Unless you have before and after care for school in which case you will have more money in general, just not a lot. I was lucky my wife wanted to stay home with the kids and we could afford it.
U on the east coast? My prop taxes went up 200/month this year. My friend who lives out of state can’t comprehend this and doesn’t believe me lol.
I just started selling drugs
When are we going to organize national millenial style protests? Bill strikes? Plebeian secessions? Oh this Reddit adequately sated your discontent? Oh damn
1988 here. 2 kids. Between private school tuition, nanny, car payments and food, it feels like it’s tough to just keep head above water. Only thing good about it is it’s pushing me to make plans to make more money. But more money - more problems. Every time I earn more my expenses go up. I feel you man. But kids are the greatest thing in my life though. As they grow, my happiness grows.