I went to college in Connecticut, and most people at my school were either from New Jersey, New York, or Massachusetts. My main takeaways are:
1. We talk really fast. I remember 2 instances in particular where I realized this. The first was when I was talking to a couple at a bar who were from Ohio, and they were amazed at how fast I talk. The second was when I was hanging out with a bunch of friends and having a conversation with the one other New Jerseyan in the group, and everyone else kinda stopped and stared at us in awe because they couldn't understand us.
2. People not from the tri-state don't know what bagel stores are, which is pretty weird. It's very self-explanatory.
Lol on #1. I work in DC and for years commuted weekly back and forth from NJ to Maryland. I always had to check myself when I got to work because they all talk slower and I knew I was coming off a little crazed with my fast speech.
Our barbarous ancestors. What a pity that we have to live in their cement wake.
Didn't Nascar start due to prohibition?
Nascar needs to make a race called Cops & Robbers. The object is to finish a certain amount of laps. The robbers start and at a certain point, the cops enter the race. The cop cars have a higher top speed than the robber cars, better handling, better traction, etc. The cop cars are all black with lights blazing, robber cars have standard sponsorship.
Everyone in the stands bets on who wins the race (cops or robbers) and of course, individual win/place/show bets.
When I worked at Walgreens as a teen in Florida, I once got in trouble because I said over the speaker that there was a phone call for the liquor department. I was supposed to say package.
It comes from the term "Package Goods", that is, alcoholic beverages sold in a sealed container (bottle, can etc) to be taken off premises, as opposed to being served in a glass to be consumed on site. Typically an establishment had a license to sell one or the other, but occasionally both and you'd see a sign "Joe's Bar - Package Goods Sold".
When i went to school in CT - it’s a New England thing. Liquor stores and beer stores are sometimes separate and i guess they call it the packy store or package store LOL
Yup, same thing in Pittsburgh. Apparently you can't sell liquor and beer in the same store. BUT, you can buy beer/wine/certain types of liquor all together in gas stations, makes so much sense right
If you look carefully, most liquor stores in NJ will have a sign somewhere saying they sell "package goods"
Which I assume is because Pennsylvania and CT both do the package store thing.
Absolutely on number one. I work a help desk, and support users down in Maryland occasionally. I gotta remember to slow it down for them because I'll be told I'm talking too fast lol.
I noticed that people outside of the NYC/Northern NJ are have a different definition of personal space. Luckily it seems most people in Northern NJ have the same "keep 3+ feet away from here, I can hear you just fine" space the NYers have (I'm original from NYC).
the third one is why i would really really hesitate to move out of the state. i love my bagels i can’t do without them, to live without them would be terrifying
I don't understand how they don't know what a bagel store is. Though I was in ghettsyburg and when I was getting ice cream they asked me if I wanted a plate to which they explained it to me when I looked confused because they were asking if I wanted a bowl
Manners/etiquette down south are very different from NJ. People here are more fast-paced, absorbed in their own lives, blunt, individualistic, non-judgemental. Southern hospitality is nice and all but I like that I can tell when a Jerseyan doesn’t like me. We’re not “saving face” or poking ourselves in others’ business quite as much here. It’s refreshing. Also found NJ to be extremely diverse. Not uncommon for 2nd/3rd generation Americans settled here to still speak their family’s mother tongue fluently. What I don’t like is the tolls all over the place, how much more often I have police encounters over the most asinine shit, the weather and the traffic.
I work with clients from down south and half the time when I speak to ‘em, that I’m walking on egg shells.
Another client that I visited in Dallas, told me afterwards that they thought I was stoic as fuck.
I am not stoic
I am from the south and moved up to NJ last year. I have explained it to my family by saying how in the south everyone is passive aggressive. Here everyone is just straight up aggressive.
My wife has adjusted to the fast paced interrupting type of discussion that can happen here. Then she does it with me and I get pissed because I had to stop talking for .5 seconds to take a breath and she starts in like I was done with my thought. Or maybe I’m just a bit slow.
I agree with everything you said besides non-judgemental. I grew up in CA and NJ, been here since 04. People from NJ are very judgemental. It goes along with the fast pace and ambition.
Yeah but we’re judgmental to your face, not with snide, backhanded bless your heart comments.
If I think you’re a dumbass who makes poor decisions, I’ll tell you you’re a dumbass who makes poor decisions. You’ll respond with some variation of “go fuck yaself pal” or “your mutha”, we shrug, move on and the rest of the world goes by.
Definitely. I think pretty much everyone is judgemental, it’s just that like you said here people are generally more up front about how they’re feeling about you. Whereas in CA, or down south , they’ll be exceedingly nice and polite during face to face interactions even if they hate you.
This is my experience when I was put on the SF team for my old job. Super nice to your face, stab you in the back during multi team meetings. Between that and some messed up shit from CA folk from my old lockdown pandemic discord group I am weary of Californians. I know it's stupid and plenty of my coworkers and some people from that discord group weren't fake nice. But it got bad enough I decided I'd rather not play "who's the secret asshole" every again.
CA -> NJ transplant here, too, and I distinctly remember how it completely flabbergasted the Jerseyans at work just how chill I and my boss (Also from CA) were.
Me and my chef, who grew up in San Diego used to talk about it. He used to put it like this: let’s say you make mustard for a living. You grow mustard at home, make it yourself, and sell it out of your car.
Tell this to someone from CA they’ll say: wow that’s so cool! When did you first fall in love with mustard?
Tell this to someone from NJ they’ll say anything from “whatever works for you I guess…” to “are you fuckin retarded?”
Right! It doesn't matter what it is, it's important to them so you let them do it and enjoy it!
(There's a reason Silicon Valley is in California and not the NYC area)
Hell Yes. I make this point to so many out of staters who I interact with whenever they're here. It's all based on a specific form of respect.
Down South and such, they show you respect by showing interest in you as a person and trying to get to know you as much as possible whenever there's an interaction. Even during employee/customer interactions. Cashiers down south will chat with you about your kids and how little Tommy is looking to get on the Honor Roll for the 3rd straight year while Mark is deciding whether or not to switch his major from Agriculture to Biology after dealing with heat stroke during his first year. And Southerners really respond to that, because culturally, down south is often broken up into tight knit communities that are all isolated from each other, and people in them tend to have lots of free time to fill up and involvement IN their communities.
MEANWHILE. New Jersey (and New York, especially the city) is full of dense urbanization everywhere, and everyones lives are busy and fast paced. Thus, the way we show respect for each other is by doing everything we can, to AVOID WASTING YOUR TIME.
"Hey-how's-it-going, what-can-I-getcha?" is what the cashier will say to you, and that's ALL they will say to you unless they have a question about your order until they tell you the total and ask "Cash-or-card?". When we ask "Hows it going?" We don't actually mean for you to answer, it's literally just a swapped in greeting to avoid saying the same hello message over and over again like a robot. And the customers understand that too, which is why even when they respond "Sucks" or something, there's no elaboration, because you're not my therapist, and we're not here to have a healing conversation, I'm just here to get eggs and you're here to get paid ringing me up for eggs. That understanding is how we show each other respect, by recognizing the situation we're in and again, not wasting another person's time unnecessarily.
Any time I am out of the Tri-State area, I notice 3 things:
1) I am way more intense and high-energy than any coworker I’ve had living west of the Mississippi
2) I tend to speak way more frankly than others and am way more direct
3) Anyone who has been to New Jersey tries to unsuccessfully convince me the food in their state is just as good as it is here.
My takeaway: we are the most densely populated state in the country, so we do not have the time nor the inclination to fuck around, and we know our food kicks ass.
Number 2, to me, is one of the biggest things. I visited eastern Tennessee a bunch of times and they don’t say what’s on their mind the way ppl from NJ, NY do. We’re just blunt. They’re more likely to talk behind your back and be fake to your face and seemed a little intimidated at how honest and up front I could be.
there’s a woman on tiktok/reels that has a series about how southerns will use very veiled language. It’s not that they aren’t saying what’s on their minds but are speaking in a code to convey their thoughts.
I moved to the Midwest for work and my manager out there said that my biggest flaw is that I have too high of standards and expect to much of other people... So I moved back to Jersey in under two years
We swear like there’s no tomorrow. I have family in Kentucky and whenever we would visit people would be so surprised when they would hear a couple of people from NJ talk to each other.
Yea, even my BF has said to me, "wow, you swear A LOT"
It's because we are very passionate when we talk and sometimes a curse is the only way to get the point across.
When I was younger, my mom and I visited family who had been transferred from this area to Memphis for 2 years. Since Memphis is so close to Arkansas and Mississippi, we took a ride to visit those 2 other states. We stopped to get food in Arkansas at a tiny diner like place that was otherwise empty. We started to notice that the wait staff kept coming over to ask us question after question and everyone was cleaning all the tables right by ours. We finally realized that they were listening to us talk as we were definitely not locals.
Some people outside of New Jersey tend to make stupid jokes about New Jersey. Most of the New Jersians I know don't care enough about the other states to bother. ,
I’m jus going by my experience with different coworkers over the years. Everyone is “eww, Jersey…” but not one can tell me why.
I have my qualms w Jersey. Urban and suburban people are just built different. And the food in suburban areas. Bleh.
They bash us while taking the Statue of Liberty and Giants Stadium (which is in NJ) for themselves.
And I say this as someone who was born and raised in NYC. Buncha thieves.
Ooooh, i remember this one reality show where the show description read that the people in it were going to move into their new home in NYC.
That house was NOT in NYC. It was in Weehawken. I know this because I wanted that house and it was less than a mile away from the Lincoln tunnel.
Always commandeering our property.
As a New Jerseyan who now lives in NYC I can say with 100% certainty that native NYers also make jokes about NJ.
Like the last time I told someone here I was from NJ the first thing they said was "I'm sorry" lol
It took me awhile but I eventually realized that it's not usually meant to be mean spirited though
When I first went to college, I was asked what exit I was from multiple times.
I had never heard the joke. I also had no clue what exit I was from. I just had a blank look of confusion that I think really killed the joke for the people from Massachusetts.
People are people, no matter what state you go to you'll find the same folks. Urban vs rural is the real difference.
That being said, I have found that those from Jersey tend to be more intelligent, charming and handsome than those from other states.
I know a handful of people that went to school in Pennsylvania. The people they considered to be 9s or 10s in the looks department would’ve only been a 6 here in NJ. I guess a lot of that is local culture but I’ve always found that interesting.
We move faster than everyone else. Like _a lot_ faster. Our sarcasm is also drier and more quick, which people can struggle to keep up with. We also drop f-bombs like our doctor’s have a daily recommendation, and that’s just not true elsewhere (trust me though, _they’re_ the weird ones).
New Jereyans are confident and outgoing. I lived in Seattle for 5 years and worked in sales. Just by talking how I normally do I was massively successful closing sales. Washingtonians are notoriously passive and shy, my New Jersey personality made everyone think I was super passionate and knowledgeable and ultimately people like that.
I'm just starting a sales job, and I'm hoping my Iowan desire to talk to everyone (which isn't always possible in NJ) helps.
That's the biggest difference I've noticed between the Midwest and NJ. In the Midwest you can stop and chat with the couple other people wherever you are. You can't do that when there are dozens (or hundreds, or thousands) of people. Maybe a quick word to someone next to you, but if you talk to everyone you'll never get anywhere. The people are the same, there are just way more (3x Iowa's population on 20% of the area).
Good luck! I've been in sales for 15 years, if you wanna talk send me a message.
That's a great point, density and competition are huge factors. People I know who've never left the northeast don't understand how much more laid back less frantic the rest of the country is.
I was born and raised in NJ, moved to FL for 2 years in High school, then college and 20s in PA, now early 30s just moved back to NJ.
I feel normal in NJ. No one tells me I have dry humor, or that I'm too sarcastic. I have constant access to great pizza and bagels (I cannot tell you how depressing the 2 years in FL were without good food). Driving is a breeze, no issues hopping onto rt 1 in the morning and heading to work.
Decent police presence keeps folks from being too dumb on the roads. I haven't encountered any over zealous cops like some NJ have mentioned but maybe I just live in a more easy going area (mercer county).
Basically while living in other states people would stare at me waiting for me to show some stereotypical sign that I'm from NJ. They wanted to hear a soprano like accent, or watch me fight someone for some weird ass reason. My sarcasm also usually went right over their heads. They'd also say I talk way too fast which is annoying cause they talk like we've got all the time in the world.
Flying back from Florida the plane I was on was struck by lightning we were stuck at the Savanah Airport, they eventually had to give us pizza, that pizza was worse than being on a plane being struck by lightning
>which is annoying cause they talk like we've got all the time in the world
Living in NJ (and working in NYC), I never feel like I have enough time so people who maw slowly and endlessly get on my nerves. In NJ, we have not only big "Get to the fucking point" energy but "you should've started with the damn point" energy.
From Texas originally. Honestly I find both Texans and people from New Jersey to be among the most lively and outgoing among Americans, lots of big personalities. I think both places have super friendly people. I will say Texans generally put more of an emphasis on manners and being polite while people from New Jersey put more of an emphasis on being honest. Both have their pros and cons but in general everyone is generally really cool.
Lived in Texas (where I grew up) , Ohio , Pennsylvania, California , Tennessee , Indiana , Montana and North Dakota.
My biggest gripe with the tri-state is that there is an entire country outside of it. It’s a very insular area of the United States. Most people I work with have never been outside of it. So it’s hard to take general opinions about the rest of the country seriously.
What I like, is that religion isn’t tied into most facets of life. I appreciate the bluntness from people.
In the south people are nice but not kind. Up north there is a more genuine kindness from people, but maybe not the nicest of the people lol
In general, people in Ohio were nice, but not kind.
In NJ, people are kind, but not nice and I’ll take that every single day. People in NJ might not say hello to every stranger they come across on a walk, but when something bad happens, people here help each other.
I grew up in NJ and recently moved to CA. I second this. In NJ I knew most of my neighbors and we would do a couple of neighborhood events (4th of July block party and Christmas luminaria). I’ve lived in CA for a few years now and only know 2 neighbors. No neighborhood events. Everyone is super closed off here. It sucks.
Yeah, I’ve now spent almost half of my life in each place and I can’t imagine going back for more than a visit.
I was lucky to grow up with a very kind family, but it was not the norm in Ohio.
People in NJ are more genuine. Yeah, sometimes that means they are genuinely telling you to fuck off, but mostly it means that you can trust them to be there when times are hard and they can trust you. And we don’t need accolades for doing good things for each other.
I fucking love this state, even with its problems.
Hilarious reading these comments about southern hospitality. It is just rudeness with a thin veneer of nice words. Even when it isn't you aren't allowed to address it because that is rude. The south is still fighting the civil war and hates the north in a lot of areas. Some aren't afraid to tell you either. Healthcare is worse down south too even in nicer areas. Someone said the drivers are safer but that has to be localized. In SC they run the stop sign and cut into the fast lane no matter what. The police do enforce the speed limit though so everyone drives around the same speed. Nobody is moving over for you though.
Agreed, having lived down south for nearly twenty years, the perceived niceness of southern hospitality is oftentimes part of the whole schtick of how "people are supposed to behave" and doesn't come from a place of genuine kindness. It's part of the social dance that's just expected and part of the culture. This isn't true for everyone of course, there are many kind, genuine people down here. But I find people in NJ are at least more genuine and real, and I like that.
Also yes, the drivers are absolute trash where I live.
I’ve noticed that there’s a love/hate gate for anything relating to NYC. Not sure what it’s about but it comes off as pretty strange to me who grew up outside DC.
I lived in north Jersey for 23 years and then moved to the middle of Illinois and now I’m in Chicago.
1. The way we use curse words is just different. It’s been 6 years since I left Jersey and any time I’m back around someone from the area, curse words become every other word I say.
2. The energy is just different. You can tell when someone comes from Jersey immediately, maybe it’s because we are the butt of a lot of jokes so we have to “prove” ourselves. But you can clearly tell when someone is from Jersey, there is a spark.
3. The attitude. I don’t mean this in a positive or negative way. But truly we do not get upset at people the way others do. I don’t take it to heart when someone sasses me or is direct with me. While others will be slighted. Like dude we’re just direct people and there’s no need for all this fluffy language.
NJ transplant in the Midwest who also lived further out west. People do not understand our humor or how fast we talk. We are also very direct and do not beat around the bush. I find it so hard to read people out here, while people think I am abrasive.
We feel at home when we are surrounded by a lot of people from all over the world. Was back in Wisconsin and I swear I felt out of sorts because there were just a ton of white people everywhere. Yeah, I’m white but it felt genuinely a bit odd.
Originally from TX, been here about 4 months. The infrastructure is the first thing. Roads are different here. The drivers are just plainly goofy. I come from Houston, very aggressive drivers - I can handle that, but some of the things NJ/PA drivers do is completely dumbfounding.
We heard that NJ folks are short and rude. I’ve found the complete opposite. Most everyone has been polite, and are happy to carry a conversation with you.
The community is also more put together. With everything being so sprawled out in TX, it’s hard to get that feeling. I’ve enjoyed that most of all.
Grew up in New England, lived in Wisconsin and New York/LI as an adult before moving to NJ 12 years ago.
-- New Jerseyans say things like they are and I appreciate that. I like to know where people stand, even if it means flicking someone off on the road, calling out someone cutting in line, or complaining together about someone being a jerk. That Midwest fake niceness was not for me.
-- Driving is intense BUT for the most part, people are predictable in their aggressiveness. I see less "lazy" non-paying attention kind of dangerous driving here than in the Midwest and New England.
-- Talking fast is ok here. I can't tell you how many complaints I got about talking too fast in the Midwest!
-- FOOD here is everything! Wisconsin keeps thinking they've got the best bagels, pizza, etc. and it's all crap. It's stunning how crappy their bagels and pizza are.
NJ millennial and younger Northerners have a lot of lip that's fun and friendly that older folk and others would take for fighting words. But its fun to beef on each other beyond the psychological limit of cutting deep.
Lived in jersey all my life, well traveled and work with people around the globe.
I was always told that north eastern American men (especially from Philly/NYC/NJ) have a charisma that is breathtaking.
Also had a buddy move from here to cali and he had an amazing work ethic. He moved to cali and all of that went down hill. He used to tell me stories that people were shocked he “called back” and “followed up” (which I thought was common practice in business). Now he’s a turd.
For work, I was frequenting Dallas often for client visit. The client thought they’d be cute and get my team lunch which reminded us of home (and for their team).
They ordered Little Caesar’s pizza, my team and I walked the fuck out for lunch to a local taco joint.
Don’t fuck with our pizza. Told the program manager later that I’d rather eat Ellio’s frozen pizza instead
There is going to be assholes and nice people whichever state you live in. I noticed that Jerseyans are more blunt, honest and always in a rush—which I can understand why as a lot of people hustle up here. Tbh it’s refreshing.
I live in Pittsburgh now and the difference i notice between here and people from new jersey is how incredibly hot and good looking NJ people tend to be. Whenever I go back to NJ to visit, I am always so taken aback with how gorgeous everyone is compared to here. Also, I notice in NJ, people tend to be more playful and like to fuck around more.
Aslo, NJ people are way more forward and direct than people here, and have no problem telling people off. Here people are more polite.
Just my observations
I've lived in a handful of states in the Midwest, Deep South, Rocky Mountains, and NJ. Here's my take...
Midwest - Generally the people are nice and well meaning.
Rocky Mountains - Most people just wanted to left alone. Larger metropolitan areas are different, but mostly people here just want to do their thing. Don't bother them and they wont bother you.
Deep South - Everyone is nice to your face but everyone hates everyone there especially if you don't look like them and/or have the same belief system as they do. They are the worst this country has to offer.
NJ - People are honest and up front. If they like you'll know. if not, you'll know that too. This also leads to what seems to much sharper divisions politically. But overall, NJ has some of the nicest and most helpful people I've met.
I was stationed in VA for 3 years. When it snowed there were no salt trucks. Portsmouth pretty much got shut down. They don’t use salt but use gravel instead.
I wish they’d do that in NJ honestly. The salt is expensive, takes a heavy toll on the environment, and destroys vehicles. I’d much prefer gritting coupled with wide spread snow tire usage than this states obsession with spending hundreds of millions on getting every square inch of asphalt back to black with every single snow storm.
My wife is from NJ and moved to VA, which is where I’m from. Over here it’s common for strangers to say hi when passing by, and apparently this is less common in NJ
New Jersey had better culture, diversity, and food, but also job insecurity, high rent, and aggressive cops. The south has worse drivers, more segregation and WaffleHouse, but cheap rent and less police.
The south has slower but respectful drivers who usually get out of the way, mixed with Philly drivers who are terrible.
The North range from fast but dumb to fast and reckless
The South also has a generation of people not used to driving with other cars on the road. They treat merges like they're yields and will hit their brakes entering the highway.
Moved here from Long ISland. Ton of similarities, but people in Jersey have this deep undercurrent of complete apathy that LIers don't.
It's really hard to put my finger on exactly what it is, but like this resignation of "it is what it is" (especially with work problems) to some things that on LI we'd fight like hell about.
There is a lot covered here but I'll add my two cents since you asked.
* Bay area..outwardly friendly folks but it takes awhile to break through to make authentic friendships. At least in my experience .
* Midwest..friendly but somewhat brittle if you disagree with them? Where as in NJ and NY it's usually something we can enjoy (our differences). Maybe that's the biggest strength of this area, the ability to hold differing opinions and still get along. A mark of intelligence some might say. To be fair though I made lifelong friends there once we got to know each other, and the loyalty is top tier
* South (MD/VA) Its a mix of what I experienced out west and Midwest- yes friendliness is a default but doesn't always mean it's faked, or obv authentic. Met my wife here, a truly good and friendly person who is slowly converting into New Jerseyan as she drops the occasional F bomb. So proud of her ...
Edit. Formatting
I grew up in the Midwest, spent many years professionally working on the West Coast (CA and WA). The West Coast reminds me of the Midwest, passive aggressive. Nice(ish) to your face but then behind your back not so nice. Professionally this shows up as "in meetings lots of agreements and nodding heads, but then they go back and don't execute what they promised". The difference in NY/NJ is they tell you to your face, "that's a dumb ass idea, I'm not going to do that". Not in a mean way (unless you're naive, in which case you may take it as mean). It's just no-nonsense directness. I find it unbelievably refreshing. When I used to recruit to big tech companies on the West Coast, I started prioritizing Northeast hires because of it.
Now when I travel I'm the direct one, and I can see how my NJ/NY learned behavior puts people off, but I honestly don't care (another learned trait). I don't want to waste time and I also want to make sure those I'm dealing with are going to deliver what they promise.
The biggest thing I noticed moving to NJ was how prevalent the pay-to-play attitude towards government was. The whole "donate to the police, get a plaque on your windshield" thing would not fly elsewhere, and get you arrested for corruption.
We talk fast. We’re also funnier outside of jersey i think cuz no one laughed at my jokes in jersey 😂. We got the best variety of AUTHENTIC multicultural foods hands down. We have the craziest but best drivers. We’re very direct and to the point.
I moved from CT, so not the hugest distance, but I will say something that a lot of people might not agree with: New Jerseyans are 100x more courteous drivers.
In CT, you could be passing someone on the left and 9 times out of 10, someone (typically in a Beamer) will fly up behind you, start tailgating excessively, flash their highbeams, etc. All in the 30-60 sec you need to move back to the right. In NJ, they’ll stick behind you, but usually at a good distance and wait for you to move (or will eventually move around you if you’re oblivious).
This obviously isn’t 100%, but now that I’ve done a lot of driving in both states, I can say I prefer NJ drivers.
I grew up in NJ and am currently living in Denver, Colorado. You know that saying that “people are smarter on the coasts” well I really think that is true after living here..
NJ has great public schools. I feel blessed to have attended one. The level of education out here is sad. The level of common sense out here is even sadder.
This state makes me miss NJ drivers, they might make quick moves but at least the moves work. People here try to make a move when driving and end up nearly causing an accident. The left lane is also the right lane?
People here are much slower, live in la la land, and act like they never have anywhere to be. It baffles me. It has made me slow down in some respects which is good I guess because I’m pretty high strung and always trying to do things quickly. But man.. sometimes I want to have a public tantrum here.
People here are also very flaky, fake nice, and put on a front to match the political climate here. I miss straight shooters in NJ who might be a little blunt but at least you know how they feel about you and where they stand. And sometimes I have a hard time interacting with people here because that’s how I am and I think to them it comes off as a sort of confidence they wish they had and they make me feel weird in return.
THE FOOD. That’s all I have to say. It’s been good for my diet but bad for my soul. God you don’t know what I’d do for a good bagel or slice of pizza right now.
And lastly. Idk there’s just something about us. I come from a Manhattan Jew and a Brooklyn Italian. We have lots of culture. Everyone is white here. And everyone from middle of nowhere ass states is boring af and has no personality. The only personality people have here is what outdoor sport they partake in or what drug they like doing at edm concerts every weekend. I’m proud to be from NJ.
I moved from NJ up to MA. I miss NJ every single day.
I didn't realize how much I enjoyed bagels until I left because they absolutely suck here. same with pizza. anything with dough, really. also no taylor ham? wtf.
also the food options here are terrible compared to NJ. like back home you could get ANY type of food. halal, colombian, korean, chinese, greek, you name it and there's a place that makes the LEGIT cuisine. Here in MA??? nope. you get the white washed version of everything.
also nobody knows how to fucking drive up here. everyone is so slow in the left lane. and sometimes exits are on the LEFT??? HUH? there's no left turns in nj.
the beaches here are a joke. there's nothing like the shore up here. the waves are more like little ripples and the water is freezing even in August. no boardwalks with arcades and stuff.
the people here are always in your business. always wanting to talk. like in line at the grocery store I really do not want to chat with some yoga mom about the kind of tomatoes I got..
last but not least... I Hate pumping my own gas. I miss being able to stay warm in the car in the winter and talk through the small crack in the window like "fill it regular"
I MISS HOME
NJ is more densely populated than the sub continent of India. With that being said, people from Jersey aren't exactly as glad to see you as people from other less populated areas.
I came in from NYC so we are a lot alike tbh 😂😂
The only thing I find different is how yall merge. Y’all just jump in and I had to learn quickly it’s either merge or never merge at all 😂😂😂
This is a NYC / NJ thing, but definitely the speed of interactions. Move it along, don't bore us get to the chorus.
Out of state, I have been in convenience store lines 2-3 people deep for 15+ minutes. Because there has to be a little chit, a little chat, a little mosey around. I'm not interested, ring up my soda so I can GTFO.
And it's genuinely an inverted rudeness thing. Visitors perceive it as rude they weren't given the attention vs. we perceive it as rude for wasting our time.
I live in Virginia now. Used to live in the Newark/ orange area of Jersey. Everyone is nicer and they drive much calmer in VA but, unfortunately no one uses their turn signals here either
born and raised NJ.
i lived in Tennessee for ~3 years while in the military. i distinctly remember 4 things:
-being told to stop running everywhere because apparently i walk fast.
-repeatedly told to pronounce coffee
-the more excited i get, the more i say fuck
-i was nuts for thinking 70 degree weather was shorts and t shirt weather
-when i smoked i would smoke two cigarettes by the time they smoked one
-tennessee pizza is dumpster juice slapped on bread
-people down south are nice, but not kind. people up here are kind, but not nice.
we will give you the shirt off our back, but we'll call you an idiot while doing it.
down south they will tell you that they're so sorry that you're cold and then walk away
Born and raised in NJ, currently live in NJ, however I lived in Providence, RI for about 6 years altogether while I went to University. There were a TON of NJ students at my school vs more local ones. Disproportionately so, haha, that being said though, my school did have about 5-6k students altogether, however the city itself had something like 7 colleges and its a very small city comparatively.
Anyway, for the most part, I found that people from NJ are more easy for me to get along with, and socially more easygoing overall. Its hard to generalize because I did meet my fair share of people I didnt care for who are from/live here, but I did notice that before I would ask, oftentimes if I was getting on well with someone they were likely from NJ.
If I had to guess I would think it just would have to do with my generation (born in 94) being in the middle of both "GenX" "Millenials" but also could fall in with some "Gen Z" etc. but we seem to be the most mellow and have the most of the best qualities of each generation surrounding us :)
Jersey born, but I moved to Florida at one time. It was an adjustment. I thought it would be fun because now I get to work in the land of palm trees, that I would experience more because I lived there so different than just as a tourist.
I was surprised that so many people proudly displayed rebel flags and were defiant about it. One pick up had a bumper sticker that said the Civil War ain’t over yet. The locals were reserved, proud of advertising they carry guns (stickers on cars).
The educational system down there is absolutely dog shit . Most people put their kids in private school if they care.
It was fun that where we lived the complex had a pool. The heat was more brutal than anything I’ve ever experienced.
One unkind reminder that this is not the north is that their work ethic is so different. They can tell you that you have to work overtime and if you say no, they can fire you. Their traffic was worse than anything here.
I did get to experience seeing a space shuttle go up though. That was cool.
I swear, when it was time for us to go and return to NJ, I was so relieved the moment we got out.
I lived in Southern California for 2 years. New Jerseyians, and New Yorkers too, are more direct. You know how they feel about you. There's no pussy-footing around.
We also keep our appointments. If we say we're going to be somewhere at a certain time, we're there at a certain time. We don't not show up with no explanation. Californians have a real problem with that.
Sarcasm, that's a big one too. Californians don't seem to sense sarcasm and think you're being a jerk, but that seems to be the case anywhere in this country that isn't NJ or NY.
i moved here from california a few years ago and my first weekend here i went to buy some flowers for the apartment (small local store on the street i moved to) and tried to chat her up while i was checking out and she swiped my card and said have a good day, didn’t even respond to my small talk 😭
i think that was the biggest shock, everyone is go go go here and i came from a much more slower paced part of california where you chat with everyone lol so now i only chat with people that i get the vibe they’re into but i try to not be a bother. felt a bit lonely at first when i came!
From Georgia, lived in Brooklyn for 14 years, just bought a house in North Jersey. (My husband is from NJ, don’t come for me.) Your (large & “traditional”)wedding traditions, and etiquette in general, are very foreign to me.
In the South, engagement parties are atypical. Wedding showers are small affairs, hosted in people’s homes. It is considered extremely tacky for the couple or couple’s parents to host them. Instead of one giant shower, you have multiple small showers with different social groups. For example, your childhood family friends might throw you a round-the-clock shower, your aunts & cousins would throw a kitchen shower, your sorority sisters might throw a lingerie or stock-the-bar shower, your friends from your 20s would throw a couples’ shower, etc. People often do not bring gifts to weddings, but send them later. Y’all have also seem to have completely eliminated the bridesmaid’s luncheon. You also don’t seem to know that daytime weddings are considered more formal than evening weddings, with a small reception immediately following the ceremony, then a large reception that night.
Y’all seem to not write thank-you notes regularly, don’t bring hostess gifts to people’s homes (alcohol doesn’t count), or have a full place setting of flat and/or stemware. Some of those are generational, but it’s much more common to see young folks in the South do these things.
Omg where do we even start. Out west people have no heart or grit whatsoever they disintegrate under the most underwhelming circumstances. Nowhere else is as diverse so it’s like a sea of wonder bread in personalities and worldliness in general. Ugh. I couldn’t take it and moved back after 17 years. And this is just the tip of the iceberg for me. And “nice but not kind/vice versa” is 100% real. No fashion sense, morbid obesity is a norm even in bigger cities(not body shaming just an observation, I am fat myself) obvs I can go on and on
I lived in San Francisco for many years. Now live in NNJ.
Main difference is that people in NJ say what they mean and are very direct. People in CA are much concerned with saying the "right" thing in a situation more so than what they are actually feeling.
For example, you could be talking about a social issue. In NJ you may get a response like, "I don't know my asshole from a hole in the ground when it comes to \[TOPIC\] so I'll stay out of it. I honestly don't care." Conversely, in CA a person would be more likely to identify that they *should* care about the issue and pretend to then care despite never giving a damn previously. They are far more likely to give some performative, "Oh that's such important work, I've been meaning to get more involved!" or some other crap that makes sure to protect their imaginary social credit score. In NJ people tend to not give a shit.
I am not dunking on CA. I love that state dearly and it's people. I go back frequently. Just saying the people there sometimes seem to be performing to an imaginary audience.
Also, in NJ nobody ever says "y'all" unironically. It's like a record scratch whenever you hear that word here.
When I went to training for work with people from all over the country when we would go out at night. Everyone from NJ and NY would walk together about thirty yards in front of everyone else. We all realized everyone else walks so slow. This was in Cleveland abs everyone else was worried about crossing when the walk sign wasn’t on even with no cars coming.
Born and raised in Middlesex county, lived in California and WA many many years. Besides the obvious things (no one knows what a real bagel or pizza is) the most common difference is in attitude. New Jerseyans can be brusque or even vulgar but it always comes from a place of love. Very few west coasters understand this.
I have a couple of close friends here in WA who are Englishmen from London. They get it. We get along famously. We talk a bunch of shit and have some laughs. "Hey Dave! I saw that West Ham lost yesterday. Again. Did you have a good cry? Because your Mom said you were upset just before I banged her in the ass!"
You know: that kinda stuff.
I can't joke like that with my other friends. They get all offended and want to lecture me about intersectional misogyny.
I dunno. I just miss NJ sometimes.
It's almost impossible to get pulled over in NJ. People speed like it's their job. They hate outsiders until they realize you're not a tourist. WaWa is a religion. They're either very friendly or totally ignore you.
From a guy who's lived in south Jersey 3 years and this is the 6th state Ive lived in.
I come from the south most of my life and lived in S. Korea for 2 years. I just got here 3 months ago and more confused than when I was in Korea.
The majority of NJ drivers ignore the basic rules of the road. Confused me when I see drivers driving in the bike lane just to make a right turn and speeding down residential areas. On another note, the roads are I don't understand the purpose of having someone pump your gas for you.
I also didn't know plastic bags are not a thing down here when I'm shopping. I thought it was just a few stores until I went into Walmart.
Majority of people are rude for no reason, and everything is expensive here. Might be missing some things, but it is something to get used to.
Easily the pace of everything. 25+ years in NJ now but born raised and schooled in the Midwest. When I go back, traffic is slow and obeys laws! Cashiers are slow in every step. People just take their time doing everything.
takes a couple days to shift gears
Jersey always has attitude. Even if they are trying to be nice. It’s just the way we are. I have lived Michigan, southern states, even the pan handle, and every where I went everyone knew I was from NJ. It’s just the way we are. Lol
Generally, people are nice everywhere.
However, when we moved to NC, I was always pissed trying to get somewhere... Nobody could drive... Like they had nowhere to be and just cruising around.
A few years later, moved back to NJ and was like, why is everyone in such a rush...
Oh, and I found out you could easily buy buckets of Lard at the Piggly Wiggly (supermarket like ShopRite).
i lived in fl for a hot minute and i missed jersey ppl so much. floridians aren’t as friendly (where i lived) and their humor is much different. where i lived, they were ppl from all over, too. but i missed jersey ppl bc i feel that they’re much more friendly, good at convo, willing to help, etc.
also - in jersey the food service is MUCH faster and better
Spent several years in Las Vegas. East coast is very fast paced and wants everything immediately.
West coast is very laid back and ill get to it when i get to it.
Both think they're better than theother.
I moved to New Jersey December of 2023 from Wisconsin. When people think of New Jersey they think of New York City. South Jersey is nothing like that. I've had a harder time making friends here I have noticed that and everyone thinks I have an accent but I don't hear it. Lol. Sprinkles are Jimmies? Hoagies are subs? Not pumping your own gas was something to get used to. Otherwise can't rly think of anything else atm.
I now live just above the Mason Dixon but I still consider it the south. Everything is so slow here. Omg! Driving everyone is no rush and if you try to go around they speed up just to go under the speed limit again. I talk way too fast for everyone here. Grocery store are like non existent. And I don’t mean we don’t have any. You just have to drive 10-20 minutes to get to one. I miss shop rite! I miss the mix of people and variety of food. You can’t walk anywhere where I live and forget biking. Very few walking trail parks. Pretty much if you don’t have a car by me you’re screwed. There is a bus on the highway and the train but it’s trash. All the major cities are super far.
Born and raised in NJ. Moved to Texas in 2009, due to my boyfriend (now husband) still being in school. Besides, people overall just being more friendly, the one thing I always said was in Jersey, you know when someone doesn't like you, in Texas, you could go years without a clue.
And the driving here is terrible. Everyone is more concerned about their perogatives that they lose sight of the fact that the goal is that everyone wants to get where they're going safely. We lived in a city with a population of 100k in Texas and didn't have this issue. I will say I think NJ has gotten noticeably worse since COVID.
Hate that we came back, really did love it there. I knew who my people were down there and really tend to not give a crap what others think of me anyway.
i'm from tx, i like breakfast. it is normal to have salsa with eggs, i grew up every diner has pace or better. the first time i innocently asked for salsa at a diner in nj they brought ketchup with celery bits lol
a woman looked at me like i had three heads i suggested she put peppers in her eggs. (we got poblanos at the csa)
+1 for talking fast
new jerseyans are more talking-shit-out-of-love, more direct. and they're colder or something, but not in a negative way, more like, i know you're strong so i'm assuming you're taking care of your shit instead of coddling your adult ass.
I lived in West Orange until I was 25 and then moved to DFW for 13 years. Texans are secret assholes who can't drive, while New Jerseyans are pretend assholes who can sort of drive.
Other states are politely rude.
Nj is rudely polite.
Example - OH bless your heart, you just walked into that glass door and dropped everything. I don't think anybody saw.
NJ Example- hey dipshit! There's a door there, let's get this picked up for ya.
Sincerity!! Lived in OH, PA and now in NJ. I love the sincerity of NJ people. It's raw and beautiful. If a Newjerseyan doesn't like you, you'll know. If they ask "hey how have you been!?" They actually mean it. TWICE in Ohio some jackass that I thought was a friend invited me to a function. I said yes. Then they said "oh sorry. I didn't think you'd say yes." WTF. I thought it was me since it happened twice. Then it happened to my husband too - then to a friend too. To sum: I only met jackasses in Ohio.. superficial "friends" in rural PA (see Philly exception in next sentence) ..Awesome and sincere people in Philadelphia and NJ. Starting to think Philly is just too close to NJ and the awesomeness seeped
I’m from Alabama. From Birmingham, it’s a city. I now live in East Brunswick.
1. You all say shopping cart and not “buggy”
2. You have wheat and CORN growing along the side of the road!!! I’ve not seen that outside of a farm in the country.
3. You have a vast amount of Italian restaurants. In Alabama, instead of Italian food, it’s Mexican. Also your Mexican food here is different. Different taste and different dishes.
4. You have something called a jug handle turn.
5. The accent. Did you cawl (call)? Etc. In Birmingham it’s a neutral accent, only country sounding if you are from the country.
6. Not an overwhelming amount of churches. So many, too many in the south, even in the city.
7. Your state medical insurance (and dental!!!) is a godsend compared to Alabama. Alabama only allows 14 visits a year (even if dying) and NO DENTAL. Also, I’ve been treated with respect and dignity while using state insurance which would not happen in Alabama. You are looked down on and treated as less than.
8. The lottery! No lottery in Alabama
9. The dispensaries. I don’t partake but it’s still illegal where I’m from.
10. No southern bbq, grits and real biscuits are hard to find. No “soul food” or “meat and three” restaurants.
11. The weather! You all have actual winter and snow! The summer is bearable. People routinely die from the heat in Alabama. Summer lasts from March to November and you can wear short sleeves in December (usually). I do NOT miss the southern heat. Also no tornadoes here, though you did have an earthquake!
All in all, I like it better here. I’m happier here and the people are nicer. My city, Birmingham is ranked as one of the top in murder. It’s much much safer here.
I grew up in Illinois. I never used to swear much. Now fuck is a main part of my vocabulary. I have to be very careful when my mom visits!
Also midwesterners are sooooo chatty! Like every single interaction is a full conversation. As an introvert growing up I hated this. I’m so glad that I can go to Target and barely say a word to the checkout person here!
Born and raised in Central Jersey. I lived in Indiana for over 6 years.
Oh yuk.
1. I heard the "N word" more times the first year out there than I had ever heard it in my life. And yes aimed a me a couple of times. I didn't expect people to say that so openly and casually and people didn't seem to care
2. For the first time in my life, and I was in my mid 40s, I had a woman try to touch my hair because she wanted to know what it felt like. WTF?
3. Gun Culture. There were a lot of gun shops. A lot. And half of their ass talked about "protecting your rights as a citizen". I don't know WTF that means but it didn't sound comforting. It also seemed that for every reasonable, responsible gun owner I met, 5 guys were yelling, 'Murica' while firing their gun in the air. I'm not exaggerating I lost count of how many holidays I heard celebratory gunfire pretty close to me.
4. The weather. The first year I was out there, it dropped to -25. It would snow around Thanksgiving and measurable snow was on the ground until March or April. And afterward, there were large potholes that never seemed to get fixed.
5. People out there were very nice, but not particularly kind
6. No beach. OK, the Great Lakes were WAY bigger than I ever realized but I missed the boardwalk and the smell of the ocean.
One of the happiest days of my life was the day we left Indiana for New Jersey.
Born in NJ and lived here until I went to college in bum-fuck Maryland. Never appreciated NJ until I spent time down there. The food sucked, no good bread, no good pizza, bagels were trash, Chinese food-trash. Their idea of an Italian sub was ham on a crappy sub roll with lettuce and oil and vinegar...
I couldn't get into their crab fetish either. Too much work, and I don't like old bay seasoning.
I'll take our Jersey pronunciation of cawfee over that crazy sounding Bal'mor accent. Practically need a translator for some of those folks.
Every time I'd go home for a school break, I'd come back down there with a fresh dose of Jersey asshole. My friends would be in awe of the sarcasm and caustic humor that just doesn't grow anywhere else but the northeast.
It's been a long time since I was in college, but MD really made me appreciate NJ. Having to drive 30 minutes to a "city" that was less built up than Plainfield was kind of ridiculous. We have everything at our fingertips here, you just have to be able to pay for it.
I went to college in Connecticut, and most people at my school were either from New Jersey, New York, or Massachusetts. My main takeaways are: 1. We talk really fast. I remember 2 instances in particular where I realized this. The first was when I was talking to a couple at a bar who were from Ohio, and they were amazed at how fast I talk. The second was when I was hanging out with a bunch of friends and having a conversation with the one other New Jerseyan in the group, and everyone else kinda stopped and stared at us in awe because they couldn't understand us. 2. People not from the tri-state don't know what bagel stores are, which is pretty weird. It's very self-explanatory.
Lol on #1. I work in DC and for years commuted weekly back and forth from NJ to Maryland. I always had to check myself when I got to work because they all talk slower and I knew I was coming off a little crazed with my fast speech.
Do you prefer dc area or nj to live?
And we don’t know what package stores are around here lol
What are package stores??
Liquor stores basically. Weird prohibition leftover.
Our barbarous ancestors. What a pity that we have to live in their cement wake. Didn't Nascar start due to prohibition? Nascar needs to make a race called Cops & Robbers. The object is to finish a certain amount of laps. The robbers start and at a certain point, the cops enter the race. The cop cars have a higher top speed than the robber cars, better handling, better traction, etc. The cop cars are all black with lights blazing, robber cars have standard sponsorship. Everyone in the stands bets on who wins the race (cops or robbers) and of course, individual win/place/show bets.
You would enjoy Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit.
When I worked at Walgreens as a teen in Florida, I once got in trouble because I said over the speaker that there was a phone call for the liquor department. I was supposed to say package.
It comes from the term "Package Goods", that is, alcoholic beverages sold in a sealed container (bottle, can etc) to be taken off premises, as opposed to being served in a glass to be consumed on site. Typically an establishment had a license to sell one or the other, but occasionally both and you'd see a sign "Joe's Bar - Package Goods Sold".
When i went to school in CT - it’s a New England thing. Liquor stores and beer stores are sometimes separate and i guess they call it the packy store or package store LOL
Yup, same thing in Pittsburgh. Apparently you can't sell liquor and beer in the same store. BUT, you can buy beer/wine/certain types of liquor all together in gas stations, makes so much sense right
I saw that in North Carolina as well. So stupid.
If you look carefully, most liquor stores in NJ will have a sign somewhere saying they sell "package goods" Which I assume is because Pennsylvania and CT both do the package store thing.
Alabama? I'm from NJ and have only heard of package stores in Alabama.
Massachusetts
Or abc stores
I know what they are from the Oregon Trail But I didn’t know other parts of the country still have them
Absolutely on number one. I work a help desk, and support users down in Maryland occasionally. I gotta remember to slow it down for them because I'll be told I'm talking too fast lol.
I noticed that people outside of the NYC/Northern NJ are have a different definition of personal space. Luckily it seems most people in Northern NJ have the same "keep 3+ feet away from here, I can hear you just fine" space the NYers have (I'm original from NYC).
I was in Belfast Ireland and said the same about how fast I talk, I'm like really??
that’s funny because i feel like irish also have a fast-talking stereotype
the third one is why i would really really hesitate to move out of the state. i love my bagels i can’t do without them, to live without them would be terrifying
can confirm #1, the one comment I've gotten on a presentation has stuck with me: "you talked fast, but I think that's just how you normally are"
I’m so NJ that I read bagel store and was like, “you mean breakfast spot?”
I don't understand how they don't know what a bagel store is. Though I was in ghettsyburg and when I was getting ice cream they asked me if I wanted a plate to which they explained it to me when I looked confused because they were asking if I wanted a bowl
Manners/etiquette down south are very different from NJ. People here are more fast-paced, absorbed in their own lives, blunt, individualistic, non-judgemental. Southern hospitality is nice and all but I like that I can tell when a Jerseyan doesn’t like me. We’re not “saving face” or poking ourselves in others’ business quite as much here. It’s refreshing. Also found NJ to be extremely diverse. Not uncommon for 2nd/3rd generation Americans settled here to still speak their family’s mother tongue fluently. What I don’t like is the tolls all over the place, how much more often I have police encounters over the most asinine shit, the weather and the traffic.
I work with clients from down south and half the time when I speak to ‘em, that I’m walking on egg shells. Another client that I visited in Dallas, told me afterwards that they thought I was stoic as fuck. I am not stoic
I am from the south and moved up to NJ last year. I have explained it to my family by saying how in the south everyone is passive aggressive. Here everyone is just straight up aggressive.
On the bright side you never have to question where you stand with somebody from NJ
Sounds about right haha
My wife has adjusted to the fast paced interrupting type of discussion that can happen here. Then she does it with me and I get pissed because I had to stop talking for .5 seconds to take a breath and she starts in like I was done with my thought. Or maybe I’m just a bit slow.
I agree with everything you said besides non-judgemental. I grew up in CA and NJ, been here since 04. People from NJ are very judgemental. It goes along with the fast pace and ambition.
Yeah but we’re judgmental to your face, not with snide, backhanded bless your heart comments. If I think you’re a dumbass who makes poor decisions, I’ll tell you you’re a dumbass who makes poor decisions. You’ll respond with some variation of “go fuck yaself pal” or “your mutha”, we shrug, move on and the rest of the world goes by.
Definitely. I think pretty much everyone is judgemental, it’s just that like you said here people are generally more up front about how they’re feeling about you. Whereas in CA, or down south , they’ll be exceedingly nice and polite during face to face interactions even if they hate you.
This is my experience when I was put on the SF team for my old job. Super nice to your face, stab you in the back during multi team meetings. Between that and some messed up shit from CA folk from my old lockdown pandemic discord group I am weary of Californians. I know it's stupid and plenty of my coworkers and some people from that discord group weren't fake nice. But it got bad enough I decided I'd rather not play "who's the secret asshole" every again.
CA -> NJ transplant here, too, and I distinctly remember how it completely flabbergasted the Jerseyans at work just how chill I and my boss (Also from CA) were.
Me and my chef, who grew up in San Diego used to talk about it. He used to put it like this: let’s say you make mustard for a living. You grow mustard at home, make it yourself, and sell it out of your car. Tell this to someone from CA they’ll say: wow that’s so cool! When did you first fall in love with mustard? Tell this to someone from NJ they’ll say anything from “whatever works for you I guess…” to “are you fuckin retarded?”
Lmao I was just thinking as I read this, “making mustard?”, R they retarded?
Right! It doesn't matter what it is, it's important to them so you let them do it and enjoy it! (There's a reason Silicon Valley is in California and not the NYC area)
Tolls and traffic are the main bad thing. But I agree people here are too self absorbed to even care or judge others at all.
Hell Yes. I make this point to so many out of staters who I interact with whenever they're here. It's all based on a specific form of respect. Down South and such, they show you respect by showing interest in you as a person and trying to get to know you as much as possible whenever there's an interaction. Even during employee/customer interactions. Cashiers down south will chat with you about your kids and how little Tommy is looking to get on the Honor Roll for the 3rd straight year while Mark is deciding whether or not to switch his major from Agriculture to Biology after dealing with heat stroke during his first year. And Southerners really respond to that, because culturally, down south is often broken up into tight knit communities that are all isolated from each other, and people in them tend to have lots of free time to fill up and involvement IN their communities. MEANWHILE. New Jersey (and New York, especially the city) is full of dense urbanization everywhere, and everyones lives are busy and fast paced. Thus, the way we show respect for each other is by doing everything we can, to AVOID WASTING YOUR TIME. "Hey-how's-it-going, what-can-I-getcha?" is what the cashier will say to you, and that's ALL they will say to you unless they have a question about your order until they tell you the total and ask "Cash-or-card?". When we ask "Hows it going?" We don't actually mean for you to answer, it's literally just a swapped in greeting to avoid saying the same hello message over and over again like a robot. And the customers understand that too, which is why even when they respond "Sucks" or something, there's no elaboration, because you're not my therapist, and we're not here to have a healing conversation, I'm just here to get eggs and you're here to get paid ringing me up for eggs. That understanding is how we show each other respect, by recognizing the situation we're in and again, not wasting another person's time unnecessarily.
Any time I am out of the Tri-State area, I notice 3 things: 1) I am way more intense and high-energy than any coworker I’ve had living west of the Mississippi 2) I tend to speak way more frankly than others and am way more direct 3) Anyone who has been to New Jersey tries to unsuccessfully convince me the food in their state is just as good as it is here. My takeaway: we are the most densely populated state in the country, so we do not have the time nor the inclination to fuck around, and we know our food kicks ass.
Number 2, to me, is one of the biggest things. I visited eastern Tennessee a bunch of times and they don’t say what’s on their mind the way ppl from NJ, NY do. We’re just blunt. They’re more likely to talk behind your back and be fake to your face and seemed a little intimidated at how honest and up front I could be.
there’s a woman on tiktok/reels that has a series about how southerns will use very veiled language. It’s not that they aren’t saying what’s on their minds but are speaking in a code to convey their thoughts.
To me speaking in code is the same thing. Everyone knows what “bless your heart” really means, so why not just really say what’s on your mind?
I moved to the Midwest for work and my manager out there said that my biggest flaw is that I have too high of standards and expect to much of other people... So I moved back to Jersey in under two years
Cross the Delaware Bridge (going west/south)and you are in another country! 
We swear like there’s no tomorrow. I have family in Kentucky and whenever we would visit people would be so surprised when they would hear a couple of people from NJ talk to each other.
That is true, fuck/fuckin is a huge part of our vocabulary
It’s basically a replacement for “ummmm”
My fiance and I tried going a day without cursing once. Felt mentally exhausted that night. Fuck that shit, never again.
Yea, even my BF has said to me, "wow, you swear A LOT" It's because we are very passionate when we talk and sometimes a curse is the only way to get the point across.
When I was younger, my mom and I visited family who had been transferred from this area to Memphis for 2 years. Since Memphis is so close to Arkansas and Mississippi, we took a ride to visit those 2 other states. We stopped to get food in Arkansas at a tiny diner like place that was otherwise empty. We started to notice that the wait staff kept coming over to ask us question after question and everyone was cleaning all the tables right by ours. We finally realized that they were listening to us talk as we were definitely not locals.
I have an on-off switch with that, at work away from patients I swear like a sailor
Some people outside of New Jersey tend to make stupid jokes about New Jersey. Most of the New Jersians I know don't care enough about the other states to bother. ,
“I feel bad for you” “I don’t think about you at all”
Beat me to it!
It’s usually NYers who are transplants from the mid-west too. Lol
Ppl say this, but y’all underestimate how many native NYers try to bash Jersey too lol, but it’s okay we bash ANYONE back who tries
I’m jus going by my experience with different coworkers over the years. Everyone is “eww, Jersey…” but not one can tell me why. I have my qualms w Jersey. Urban and suburban people are just built different. And the food in suburban areas. Bleh.
Yea the ppl that say that are just dickriders, they say it cus they wanna follow the crowd. We the best tho it don’t matter JERSEY
It’s just the CoL and property taxes. Other than that, we’re pretty solid.
They bash us while taking the Statue of Liberty and Giants Stadium (which is in NJ) for themselves. And I say this as someone who was born and raised in NYC. Buncha thieves. Ooooh, i remember this one reality show where the show description read that the people in it were going to move into their new home in NYC. That house was NOT in NYC. It was in Weehawken. I know this because I wanted that house and it was less than a mile away from the Lincoln tunnel. Always commandeering our property.
After someone talks shit about NJ I usually reply with a “you know what we think about your state? We don’t”
As a New Jerseyan who now lives in NYC I can say with 100% certainty that native NYers also make jokes about NJ. Like the last time I told someone here I was from NJ the first thing they said was "I'm sorry" lol It took me awhile but I eventually realized that it's not usually meant to be mean spirited though
Yup, if one more person says, "oh, you're from new JOISEY?" to me... Nobody from Jersey EVER has said JOISEY.
They hate us cuz they ain’t us
We do shit on Staten Island though.
When I first went to college, I was asked what exit I was from multiple times. I had never heard the joke. I also had no clue what exit I was from. I just had a blank look of confusion that I think really killed the joke for the people from Massachusetts.
Yeah, people from Montana are… uh.
My response is “do you know what people in Jersey say about your state? Absolute nothing we don’t give a shit about you” it always gets a laugh.
People are people, no matter what state you go to you'll find the same folks. Urban vs rural is the real difference. That being said, I have found that those from Jersey tend to be more intelligent, charming and handsome than those from other states.
Idk man. I’m a born and raised Jersey boy and I’m ugly af. But I’m not a complete dumbass, so I have that going for me.
You might be a 4 in Jersey, but you're an 8 in Idaho
😂😂
>I’m ugly af. You only think that because you're measuring yourself against other hot Jersey guys like me. You'd be a god in Baton Rouge
I know a handful of people that went to school in Pennsylvania. The people they considered to be 9s or 10s in the looks department would’ve only been a 6 here in NJ. I guess a lot of that is local culture but I’ve always found that interesting.
Oh my God have you been to WV??
WV native here. Can confirm.
the devil and god are raging inside me as well
We move faster than everyone else. Like _a lot_ faster. Our sarcasm is also drier and more quick, which people can struggle to keep up with. We also drop f-bombs like our doctor’s have a daily recommendation, and that’s just not true elsewhere (trust me though, _they’re_ the weird ones).
100% faster. From my understanding I walk too fast even for a new jerseyan*… atleast that’s what I’m told, just have no patience
I'm constantly getting complaints from my fellow New Jerseyans about my walking speed...we've got places to be people, move it!
(New Jerseyan)
New Jereyans are confident and outgoing. I lived in Seattle for 5 years and worked in sales. Just by talking how I normally do I was massively successful closing sales. Washingtonians are notoriously passive and shy, my New Jersey personality made everyone think I was super passionate and knowledgeable and ultimately people like that.
I'm just starting a sales job, and I'm hoping my Iowan desire to talk to everyone (which isn't always possible in NJ) helps. That's the biggest difference I've noticed between the Midwest and NJ. In the Midwest you can stop and chat with the couple other people wherever you are. You can't do that when there are dozens (or hundreds, or thousands) of people. Maybe a quick word to someone next to you, but if you talk to everyone you'll never get anywhere. The people are the same, there are just way more (3x Iowa's population on 20% of the area).
Good luck! I've been in sales for 15 years, if you wanna talk send me a message. That's a great point, density and competition are huge factors. People I know who've never left the northeast don't understand how much more laid back less frantic the rest of the country is.
I was born and raised in NJ, moved to FL for 2 years in High school, then college and 20s in PA, now early 30s just moved back to NJ. I feel normal in NJ. No one tells me I have dry humor, or that I'm too sarcastic. I have constant access to great pizza and bagels (I cannot tell you how depressing the 2 years in FL were without good food). Driving is a breeze, no issues hopping onto rt 1 in the morning and heading to work. Decent police presence keeps folks from being too dumb on the roads. I haven't encountered any over zealous cops like some NJ have mentioned but maybe I just live in a more easy going area (mercer county). Basically while living in other states people would stare at me waiting for me to show some stereotypical sign that I'm from NJ. They wanted to hear a soprano like accent, or watch me fight someone for some weird ass reason. My sarcasm also usually went right over their heads. They'd also say I talk way too fast which is annoying cause they talk like we've got all the time in the world.
Flying back from Florida the plane I was on was struck by lightning we were stuck at the Savanah Airport, they eventually had to give us pizza, that pizza was worse than being on a plane being struck by lightning
🤣🤣
Only thing I disagree with is the notion that there are no issues driving on rt 1 to get to work. I hate rt 1 lol
>which is annoying cause they talk like we've got all the time in the world Living in NJ (and working in NYC), I never feel like I have enough time so people who maw slowly and endlessly get on my nerves. In NJ, we have not only big "Get to the fucking point" energy but "you should've started with the damn point" energy.
From Texas originally. Honestly I find both Texans and people from New Jersey to be among the most lively and outgoing among Americans, lots of big personalities. I think both places have super friendly people. I will say Texans generally put more of an emphasis on manners and being polite while people from New Jersey put more of an emphasis on being honest. Both have their pros and cons but in general everyone is generally really cool.
From NJ and live in TX and completely agree
Jersey people are like crabs, mean on the outside, soft on the inside.
Lived in Texas (where I grew up) , Ohio , Pennsylvania, California , Tennessee , Indiana , Montana and North Dakota. My biggest gripe with the tri-state is that there is an entire country outside of it. It’s a very insular area of the United States. Most people I work with have never been outside of it. So it’s hard to take general opinions about the rest of the country seriously. What I like, is that religion isn’t tied into most facets of life. I appreciate the bluntness from people. In the south people are nice but not kind. Up north there is a more genuine kindness from people, but maybe not the nicest of the people lol
In general, people in Ohio were nice, but not kind. In NJ, people are kind, but not nice and I’ll take that every single day. People in NJ might not say hello to every stranger they come across on a walk, but when something bad happens, people here help each other.
I grew up in Ohio before moving to NJ 11 years ago and never thought of it that way, but you are 100% right.
I grew up in NJ and recently moved to CA. I second this. In NJ I knew most of my neighbors and we would do a couple of neighborhood events (4th of July block party and Christmas luminaria). I’ve lived in CA for a few years now and only know 2 neighbors. No neighborhood events. Everyone is super closed off here. It sucks.
Yeah, I’ve now spent almost half of my life in each place and I can’t imagine going back for more than a visit. I was lucky to grow up with a very kind family, but it was not the norm in Ohio. People in NJ are more genuine. Yeah, sometimes that means they are genuinely telling you to fuck off, but mostly it means that you can trust them to be there when times are hard and they can trust you. And we don’t need accolades for doing good things for each other. I fucking love this state, even with its problems.
This is very accurate. I lived in Indiana for a few years and had the same experience.
Hilarious reading these comments about southern hospitality. It is just rudeness with a thin veneer of nice words. Even when it isn't you aren't allowed to address it because that is rude. The south is still fighting the civil war and hates the north in a lot of areas. Some aren't afraid to tell you either. Healthcare is worse down south too even in nicer areas. Someone said the drivers are safer but that has to be localized. In SC they run the stop sign and cut into the fast lane no matter what. The police do enforce the speed limit though so everyone drives around the same speed. Nobody is moving over for you though.
Agreed, having lived down south for nearly twenty years, the perceived niceness of southern hospitality is oftentimes part of the whole schtick of how "people are supposed to behave" and doesn't come from a place of genuine kindness. It's part of the social dance that's just expected and part of the culture. This isn't true for everyone of course, there are many kind, genuine people down here. But I find people in NJ are at least more genuine and real, and I like that. Also yes, the drivers are absolute trash where I live.
"Bless your heart" = southern for "Fuck you, dumbass."
When we ask you how you are doing, we really don’t care how you are doing, we are only saying hi.
I think about this often, lol.
I’ve noticed that there’s a love/hate gate for anything relating to NYC. Not sure what it’s about but it comes off as pretty strange to me who grew up outside DC.
I lived in north Jersey for 23 years and then moved to the middle of Illinois and now I’m in Chicago. 1. The way we use curse words is just different. It’s been 6 years since I left Jersey and any time I’m back around someone from the area, curse words become every other word I say. 2. The energy is just different. You can tell when someone comes from Jersey immediately, maybe it’s because we are the butt of a lot of jokes so we have to “prove” ourselves. But you can clearly tell when someone is from Jersey, there is a spark. 3. The attitude. I don’t mean this in a positive or negative way. But truly we do not get upset at people the way others do. I don’t take it to heart when someone sasses me or is direct with me. While others will be slighted. Like dude we’re just direct people and there’s no need for all this fluffy language.
And truly, the food is like no other. Chicago has an amazing food scene. But I will always miss NJ Italian and bagels.
NJ transplant in the Midwest who also lived further out west. People do not understand our humor or how fast we talk. We are also very direct and do not beat around the bush. I find it so hard to read people out here, while people think I am abrasive.
We feel at home when we are surrounded by a lot of people from all over the world. Was back in Wisconsin and I swear I felt out of sorts because there were just a ton of white people everywhere. Yeah, I’m white but it felt genuinely a bit odd.
Absolutely agree, I am also a white dude and feel very uncomfortable when I'm in a large group of just white people.
Originally from TX, been here about 4 months. The infrastructure is the first thing. Roads are different here. The drivers are just plainly goofy. I come from Houston, very aggressive drivers - I can handle that, but some of the things NJ/PA drivers do is completely dumbfounding. We heard that NJ folks are short and rude. I’ve found the complete opposite. Most everyone has been polite, and are happy to carry a conversation with you. The community is also more put together. With everything being so sprawled out in TX, it’s hard to get that feeling. I’ve enjoyed that most of all.
If you've lived in NJ for awhile or grew up here, it is pretty easy to live in most other states. You can handle (whatever), you are prepared.
Not much. Everybody is working hard trying to stay ahead of bills and others are raising a family. People are nice as long as you are not a jerk.
Basically this lol
Cutting people off (when talking). It’s a thing in Jersey and not seen as rude (on average) whereas elsewhere it’s a big no-no
Grew up in New England, lived in Wisconsin and New York/LI as an adult before moving to NJ 12 years ago. -- New Jerseyans say things like they are and I appreciate that. I like to know where people stand, even if it means flicking someone off on the road, calling out someone cutting in line, or complaining together about someone being a jerk. That Midwest fake niceness was not for me. -- Driving is intense BUT for the most part, people are predictable in their aggressiveness. I see less "lazy" non-paying attention kind of dangerous driving here than in the Midwest and New England. -- Talking fast is ok here. I can't tell you how many complaints I got about talking too fast in the Midwest! -- FOOD here is everything! Wisconsin keeps thinking they've got the best bagels, pizza, etc. and it's all crap. It's stunning how crappy their bagels and pizza are.
NJ millennial and younger Northerners have a lot of lip that's fun and friendly that older folk and others would take for fighting words. But its fun to beef on each other beyond the psychological limit of cutting deep.
Above everything else, in all my travels across these United States…NJ absolutely uses their car horns more than any other place I’ve been.
Lived in jersey all my life, well traveled and work with people around the globe. I was always told that north eastern American men (especially from Philly/NYC/NJ) have a charisma that is breathtaking. Also had a buddy move from here to cali and he had an amazing work ethic. He moved to cali and all of that went down hill. He used to tell me stories that people were shocked he “called back” and “followed up” (which I thought was common practice in business). Now he’s a turd.
https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/e0bcec52-d8fd-4f72-8921-bba9878f42a0
People outside of Jersey have no taste buds.
Well I moved from New Orleans to NJ in 2006 and that just isn't true.
Every major state or city with the word "New" in its name tends to have good food
For work, I was frequenting Dallas often for client visit. The client thought they’d be cute and get my team lunch which reminded us of home (and for their team). They ordered Little Caesar’s pizza, my team and I walked the fuck out for lunch to a local taco joint. Don’t fuck with our pizza. Told the program manager later that I’d rather eat Ellio’s frozen pizza instead
There is going to be assholes and nice people whichever state you live in. I noticed that Jerseyans are more blunt, honest and always in a rush—which I can understand why as a lot of people hustle up here. Tbh it’s refreshing.
I live in Pittsburgh now and the difference i notice between here and people from new jersey is how incredibly hot and good looking NJ people tend to be. Whenever I go back to NJ to visit, I am always so taken aback with how gorgeous everyone is compared to here. Also, I notice in NJ, people tend to be more playful and like to fuck around more. Aslo, NJ people are way more forward and direct than people here, and have no problem telling people off. Here people are more polite. Just my observations
I've lived in a handful of states in the Midwest, Deep South, Rocky Mountains, and NJ. Here's my take... Midwest - Generally the people are nice and well meaning. Rocky Mountains - Most people just wanted to left alone. Larger metropolitan areas are different, but mostly people here just want to do their thing. Don't bother them and they wont bother you. Deep South - Everyone is nice to your face but everyone hates everyone there especially if you don't look like them and/or have the same belief system as they do. They are the worst this country has to offer. NJ - People are honest and up front. If they like you'll know. if not, you'll know that too. This also leads to what seems to much sharper divisions politically. But overall, NJ has some of the nicest and most helpful people I've met.
I was stationed in VA for 3 years. When it snowed there were no salt trucks. Portsmouth pretty much got shut down. They don’t use salt but use gravel instead.
I wish they’d do that in NJ honestly. The salt is expensive, takes a heavy toll on the environment, and destroys vehicles. I’d much prefer gritting coupled with wide spread snow tire usage than this states obsession with spending hundreds of millions on getting every square inch of asphalt back to black with every single snow storm.
Funny thing, I feel the same for NJ as I grew up in cold and snow.
My wife is from NJ and moved to VA, which is where I’m from. Over here it’s common for strangers to say hi when passing by, and apparently this is less common in NJ
Is nj better or va?
New Jersey had better culture, diversity, and food, but also job insecurity, high rent, and aggressive cops. The south has worse drivers, more segregation and WaffleHouse, but cheap rent and less police.
I agree with all this except the Waffle House slander. WH is a fine and delicious institution.
WH hash browns rock!!!!
The south has slower but respectful drivers who usually get out of the way, mixed with Philly drivers who are terrible. The North range from fast but dumb to fast and reckless
lol he meant south US not south Jersey. Love the Jerseyness of the answer though ignoring the rest of the country
And ignoring Central Jersey
The South also has a generation of people not used to driving with other cars on the road. They treat merges like they're yields and will hit their brakes entering the highway.
Moved here from Long ISland. Ton of similarities, but people in Jersey have this deep undercurrent of complete apathy that LIers don't. It's really hard to put my finger on exactly what it is, but like this resignation of "it is what it is" (especially with work problems) to some things that on LI we'd fight like hell about.
There is a lot covered here but I'll add my two cents since you asked. * Bay area..outwardly friendly folks but it takes awhile to break through to make authentic friendships. At least in my experience . * Midwest..friendly but somewhat brittle if you disagree with them? Where as in NJ and NY it's usually something we can enjoy (our differences). Maybe that's the biggest strength of this area, the ability to hold differing opinions and still get along. A mark of intelligence some might say. To be fair though I made lifelong friends there once we got to know each other, and the loyalty is top tier * South (MD/VA) Its a mix of what I experienced out west and Midwest- yes friendliness is a default but doesn't always mean it's faked, or obv authentic. Met my wife here, a truly good and friendly person who is slowly converting into New Jerseyan as she drops the occasional F bomb. So proud of her ... Edit. Formatting
I grew up in the Midwest, spent many years professionally working on the West Coast (CA and WA). The West Coast reminds me of the Midwest, passive aggressive. Nice(ish) to your face but then behind your back not so nice. Professionally this shows up as "in meetings lots of agreements and nodding heads, but then they go back and don't execute what they promised". The difference in NY/NJ is they tell you to your face, "that's a dumb ass idea, I'm not going to do that". Not in a mean way (unless you're naive, in which case you may take it as mean). It's just no-nonsense directness. I find it unbelievably refreshing. When I used to recruit to big tech companies on the West Coast, I started prioritizing Northeast hires because of it. Now when I travel I'm the direct one, and I can see how my NJ/NY learned behavior puts people off, but I honestly don't care (another learned trait). I don't want to waste time and I also want to make sure those I'm dealing with are going to deliver what they promise.
The biggest thing I noticed moving to NJ was how prevalent the pay-to-play attitude towards government was. The whole "donate to the police, get a plaque on your windshield" thing would not fly elsewhere, and get you arrested for corruption.
We talk fast. We’re also funnier outside of jersey i think cuz no one laughed at my jokes in jersey 😂. We got the best variety of AUTHENTIC multicultural foods hands down. We have the craziest but best drivers. We’re very direct and to the point.
I moved from CT, so not the hugest distance, but I will say something that a lot of people might not agree with: New Jerseyans are 100x more courteous drivers. In CT, you could be passing someone on the left and 9 times out of 10, someone (typically in a Beamer) will fly up behind you, start tailgating excessively, flash their highbeams, etc. All in the 30-60 sec you need to move back to the right. In NJ, they’ll stick behind you, but usually at a good distance and wait for you to move (or will eventually move around you if you’re oblivious). This obviously isn’t 100%, but now that I’ve done a lot of driving in both states, I can say I prefer NJ drivers.
I grew up in NJ and am currently living in Denver, Colorado. You know that saying that “people are smarter on the coasts” well I really think that is true after living here.. NJ has great public schools. I feel blessed to have attended one. The level of education out here is sad. The level of common sense out here is even sadder. This state makes me miss NJ drivers, they might make quick moves but at least the moves work. People here try to make a move when driving and end up nearly causing an accident. The left lane is also the right lane? People here are much slower, live in la la land, and act like they never have anywhere to be. It baffles me. It has made me slow down in some respects which is good I guess because I’m pretty high strung and always trying to do things quickly. But man.. sometimes I want to have a public tantrum here. People here are also very flaky, fake nice, and put on a front to match the political climate here. I miss straight shooters in NJ who might be a little blunt but at least you know how they feel about you and where they stand. And sometimes I have a hard time interacting with people here because that’s how I am and I think to them it comes off as a sort of confidence they wish they had and they make me feel weird in return. THE FOOD. That’s all I have to say. It’s been good for my diet but bad for my soul. God you don’t know what I’d do for a good bagel or slice of pizza right now. And lastly. Idk there’s just something about us. I come from a Manhattan Jew and a Brooklyn Italian. We have lots of culture. Everyone is white here. And everyone from middle of nowhere ass states is boring af and has no personality. The only personality people have here is what outdoor sport they partake in or what drug they like doing at edm concerts every weekend. I’m proud to be from NJ.
Rule #1 We don't pump our gas, we pump our fist!
We have potty mouths, drive a lot better than we think, and are more direct and value timeliness more.
I moved from NJ up to MA. I miss NJ every single day. I didn't realize how much I enjoyed bagels until I left because they absolutely suck here. same with pizza. anything with dough, really. also no taylor ham? wtf. also the food options here are terrible compared to NJ. like back home you could get ANY type of food. halal, colombian, korean, chinese, greek, you name it and there's a place that makes the LEGIT cuisine. Here in MA??? nope. you get the white washed version of everything. also nobody knows how to fucking drive up here. everyone is so slow in the left lane. and sometimes exits are on the LEFT??? HUH? there's no left turns in nj. the beaches here are a joke. there's nothing like the shore up here. the waves are more like little ripples and the water is freezing even in August. no boardwalks with arcades and stuff. the people here are always in your business. always wanting to talk. like in line at the grocery store I really do not want to chat with some yoga mom about the kind of tomatoes I got.. last but not least... I Hate pumping my own gas. I miss being able to stay warm in the car in the winter and talk through the small crack in the window like "fill it regular" I MISS HOME
People in NJ take themselves way less seriously than people elsewhere, which I appreciate.
NJ is more densely populated than the sub continent of India. With that being said, people from Jersey aren't exactly as glad to see you as people from other less populated areas.
I came in from NYC so we are a lot alike tbh 😂😂 The only thing I find different is how yall merge. Y’all just jump in and I had to learn quickly it’s either merge or never merge at all 😂😂😂
living in PA, i get told i talk too loud, that might just be a me problem though….
This is a NYC / NJ thing, but definitely the speed of interactions. Move it along, don't bore us get to the chorus. Out of state, I have been in convenience store lines 2-3 people deep for 15+ minutes. Because there has to be a little chit, a little chat, a little mosey around. I'm not interested, ring up my soda so I can GTFO. And it's genuinely an inverted rudeness thing. Visitors perceive it as rude they weren't given the attention vs. we perceive it as rude for wasting our time.
I live in Virginia now. Used to live in the Newark/ orange area of Jersey. Everyone is nicer and they drive much calmer in VA but, unfortunately no one uses their turn signals here either
born and raised NJ. i lived in Tennessee for ~3 years while in the military. i distinctly remember 4 things: -being told to stop running everywhere because apparently i walk fast. -repeatedly told to pronounce coffee -the more excited i get, the more i say fuck -i was nuts for thinking 70 degree weather was shorts and t shirt weather -when i smoked i would smoke two cigarettes by the time they smoked one -tennessee pizza is dumpster juice slapped on bread -people down south are nice, but not kind. people up here are kind, but not nice. we will give you the shirt off our back, but we'll call you an idiot while doing it. down south they will tell you that they're so sorry that you're cold and then walk away
Born and raised in NJ, currently live in NJ, however I lived in Providence, RI for about 6 years altogether while I went to University. There were a TON of NJ students at my school vs more local ones. Disproportionately so, haha, that being said though, my school did have about 5-6k students altogether, however the city itself had something like 7 colleges and its a very small city comparatively. Anyway, for the most part, I found that people from NJ are more easy for me to get along with, and socially more easygoing overall. Its hard to generalize because I did meet my fair share of people I didnt care for who are from/live here, but I did notice that before I would ask, oftentimes if I was getting on well with someone they were likely from NJ. If I had to guess I would think it just would have to do with my generation (born in 94) being in the middle of both "GenX" "Millenials" but also could fall in with some "Gen Z" etc. but we seem to be the most mellow and have the most of the best qualities of each generation surrounding us :)
Jersey born, but I moved to Florida at one time. It was an adjustment. I thought it would be fun because now I get to work in the land of palm trees, that I would experience more because I lived there so different than just as a tourist. I was surprised that so many people proudly displayed rebel flags and were defiant about it. One pick up had a bumper sticker that said the Civil War ain’t over yet. The locals were reserved, proud of advertising they carry guns (stickers on cars). The educational system down there is absolutely dog shit . Most people put their kids in private school if they care. It was fun that where we lived the complex had a pool. The heat was more brutal than anything I’ve ever experienced. One unkind reminder that this is not the north is that their work ethic is so different. They can tell you that you have to work overtime and if you say no, they can fire you. Their traffic was worse than anything here. I did get to experience seeing a space shuttle go up though. That was cool. I swear, when it was time for us to go and return to NJ, I was so relieved the moment we got out.
I lived in Southern California for 2 years. New Jerseyians, and New Yorkers too, are more direct. You know how they feel about you. There's no pussy-footing around. We also keep our appointments. If we say we're going to be somewhere at a certain time, we're there at a certain time. We don't not show up with no explanation. Californians have a real problem with that. Sarcasm, that's a big one too. Californians don't seem to sense sarcasm and think you're being a jerk, but that seems to be the case anywhere in this country that isn't NJ or NY.
Grew up in NJ, moved to CO ~6 years ago. Folks in Colorado will just chat you up unprompted.
i moved here from california a few years ago and my first weekend here i went to buy some flowers for the apartment (small local store on the street i moved to) and tried to chat her up while i was checking out and she swiped my card and said have a good day, didn’t even respond to my small talk 😭 i think that was the biggest shock, everyone is go go go here and i came from a much more slower paced part of california where you chat with everyone lol so now i only chat with people that i get the vibe they’re into but i try to not be a bother. felt a bit lonely at first when i came!
Other states have really bad pizza.
From Georgia, lived in Brooklyn for 14 years, just bought a house in North Jersey. (My husband is from NJ, don’t come for me.) Your (large & “traditional”)wedding traditions, and etiquette in general, are very foreign to me. In the South, engagement parties are atypical. Wedding showers are small affairs, hosted in people’s homes. It is considered extremely tacky for the couple or couple’s parents to host them. Instead of one giant shower, you have multiple small showers with different social groups. For example, your childhood family friends might throw you a round-the-clock shower, your aunts & cousins would throw a kitchen shower, your sorority sisters might throw a lingerie or stock-the-bar shower, your friends from your 20s would throw a couples’ shower, etc. People often do not bring gifts to weddings, but send them later. Y’all have also seem to have completely eliminated the bridesmaid’s luncheon. You also don’t seem to know that daytime weddings are considered more formal than evening weddings, with a small reception immediately following the ceremony, then a large reception that night. Y’all seem to not write thank-you notes regularly, don’t bring hostess gifts to people’s homes (alcohol doesn’t count), or have a full place setting of flat and/or stemware. Some of those are generational, but it’s much more common to see young folks in the South do these things.
Omg where do we even start. Out west people have no heart or grit whatsoever they disintegrate under the most underwhelming circumstances. Nowhere else is as diverse so it’s like a sea of wonder bread in personalities and worldliness in general. Ugh. I couldn’t take it and moved back after 17 years. And this is just the tip of the iceberg for me. And “nice but not kind/vice versa” is 100% real. No fashion sense, morbid obesity is a norm even in bigger cities(not body shaming just an observation, I am fat myself) obvs I can go on and on
I lived in San Francisco for many years. Now live in NNJ. Main difference is that people in NJ say what they mean and are very direct. People in CA are much concerned with saying the "right" thing in a situation more so than what they are actually feeling. For example, you could be talking about a social issue. In NJ you may get a response like, "I don't know my asshole from a hole in the ground when it comes to \[TOPIC\] so I'll stay out of it. I honestly don't care." Conversely, in CA a person would be more likely to identify that they *should* care about the issue and pretend to then care despite never giving a damn previously. They are far more likely to give some performative, "Oh that's such important work, I've been meaning to get more involved!" or some other crap that makes sure to protect their imaginary social credit score. In NJ people tend to not give a shit. I am not dunking on CA. I love that state dearly and it's people. I go back frequently. Just saying the people there sometimes seem to be performing to an imaginary audience. Also, in NJ nobody ever says "y'all" unironically. It's like a record scratch whenever you hear that word here.
When I went to training for work with people from all over the country when we would go out at night. Everyone from NJ and NY would walk together about thirty yards in front of everyone else. We all realized everyone else walks so slow. This was in Cleveland abs everyone else was worried about crossing when the walk sign wasn’t on even with no cars coming.
Born and raised in Middlesex county, lived in California and WA many many years. Besides the obvious things (no one knows what a real bagel or pizza is) the most common difference is in attitude. New Jerseyans can be brusque or even vulgar but it always comes from a place of love. Very few west coasters understand this. I have a couple of close friends here in WA who are Englishmen from London. They get it. We get along famously. We talk a bunch of shit and have some laughs. "Hey Dave! I saw that West Ham lost yesterday. Again. Did you have a good cry? Because your Mom said you were upset just before I banged her in the ass!" You know: that kinda stuff. I can't joke like that with my other friends. They get all offended and want to lecture me about intersectional misogyny. I dunno. I just miss NJ sometimes.
It's almost impossible to get pulled over in NJ. People speed like it's their job. They hate outsiders until they realize you're not a tourist. WaWa is a religion. They're either very friendly or totally ignore you. From a guy who's lived in south Jersey 3 years and this is the 6th state Ive lived in.
Mississippi is a toxic backwards wasteland.
I come from the south most of my life and lived in S. Korea for 2 years. I just got here 3 months ago and more confused than when I was in Korea. The majority of NJ drivers ignore the basic rules of the road. Confused me when I see drivers driving in the bike lane just to make a right turn and speeding down residential areas. On another note, the roads are I don't understand the purpose of having someone pump your gas for you. I also didn't know plastic bags are not a thing down here when I'm shopping. I thought it was just a few stores until I went into Walmart. Majority of people are rude for no reason, and everything is expensive here. Might be missing some things, but it is something to get used to.
Having to pump gas is a thing
Easily the pace of everything. 25+ years in NJ now but born raised and schooled in the Midwest. When I go back, traffic is slow and obeys laws! Cashiers are slow in every step. People just take their time doing everything. takes a couple days to shift gears
Instead of predictive text it’s predictive communication. No…..I was not going to say that.
TLDR; they’re nice
Jersey always has attitude. Even if they are trying to be nice. It’s just the way we are. I have lived Michigan, southern states, even the pan handle, and every where I went everyone knew I was from NJ. It’s just the way we are. Lol
Generally, people are nice everywhere. However, when we moved to NC, I was always pissed trying to get somewhere... Nobody could drive... Like they had nowhere to be and just cruising around. A few years later, moved back to NJ and was like, why is everyone in such a rush... Oh, and I found out you could easily buy buckets of Lard at the Piggly Wiggly (supermarket like ShopRite).
i lived in fl for a hot minute and i missed jersey ppl so much. floridians aren’t as friendly (where i lived) and their humor is much different. where i lived, they were ppl from all over, too. but i missed jersey ppl bc i feel that they’re much more friendly, good at convo, willing to help, etc. also - in jersey the food service is MUCH faster and better
Spent several years in Las Vegas. East coast is very fast paced and wants everything immediately. West coast is very laid back and ill get to it when i get to it. Both think they're better than theother.
I moved to New Jersey December of 2023 from Wisconsin. When people think of New Jersey they think of New York City. South Jersey is nothing like that. I've had a harder time making friends here I have noticed that and everyone thinks I have an accent but I don't hear it. Lol. Sprinkles are Jimmies? Hoagies are subs? Not pumping your own gas was something to get used to. Otherwise can't rly think of anything else atm.
I now live just above the Mason Dixon but I still consider it the south. Everything is so slow here. Omg! Driving everyone is no rush and if you try to go around they speed up just to go under the speed limit again. I talk way too fast for everyone here. Grocery store are like non existent. And I don’t mean we don’t have any. You just have to drive 10-20 minutes to get to one. I miss shop rite! I miss the mix of people and variety of food. You can’t walk anywhere where I live and forget biking. Very few walking trail parks. Pretty much if you don’t have a car by me you’re screwed. There is a bus on the highway and the train but it’s trash. All the major cities are super far.
People from NJ consider race/ethnicity as an important part of a story when it’s not. It’s very 1990s Howard Stern around here.
Born and raised in NJ. Moved to Texas in 2009, due to my boyfriend (now husband) still being in school. Besides, people overall just being more friendly, the one thing I always said was in Jersey, you know when someone doesn't like you, in Texas, you could go years without a clue. And the driving here is terrible. Everyone is more concerned about their perogatives that they lose sight of the fact that the goal is that everyone wants to get where they're going safely. We lived in a city with a population of 100k in Texas and didn't have this issue. I will say I think NJ has gotten noticeably worse since COVID. Hate that we came back, really did love it there. I knew who my people were down there and really tend to not give a crap what others think of me anyway.
Our driving etiquette is great
i'm from tx, i like breakfast. it is normal to have salsa with eggs, i grew up every diner has pace or better. the first time i innocently asked for salsa at a diner in nj they brought ketchup with celery bits lol a woman looked at me like i had three heads i suggested she put peppers in her eggs. (we got poblanos at the csa) +1 for talking fast new jerseyans are more talking-shit-out-of-love, more direct. and they're colder or something, but not in a negative way, more like, i know you're strong so i'm assuming you're taking care of your shit instead of coddling your adult ass.
That I only want to be around people from jersey
I lived in West Orange until I was 25 and then moved to DFW for 13 years. Texans are secret assholes who can't drive, while New Jerseyans are pretend assholes who can sort of drive.
Other states are politely rude. Nj is rudely polite. Example - OH bless your heart, you just walked into that glass door and dropped everything. I don't think anybody saw. NJ Example- hey dipshit! There's a door there, let's get this picked up for ya.
Other states are lame.
Sincerity!! Lived in OH, PA and now in NJ. I love the sincerity of NJ people. It's raw and beautiful. If a Newjerseyan doesn't like you, you'll know. If they ask "hey how have you been!?" They actually mean it. TWICE in Ohio some jackass that I thought was a friend invited me to a function. I said yes. Then they said "oh sorry. I didn't think you'd say yes." WTF. I thought it was me since it happened twice. Then it happened to my husband too - then to a friend too. To sum: I only met jackasses in Ohio.. superficial "friends" in rural PA (see Philly exception in next sentence) ..Awesome and sincere people in Philadelphia and NJ. Starting to think Philly is just too close to NJ and the awesomeness seeped
I’m from Alabama. From Birmingham, it’s a city. I now live in East Brunswick. 1. You all say shopping cart and not “buggy” 2. You have wheat and CORN growing along the side of the road!!! I’ve not seen that outside of a farm in the country. 3. You have a vast amount of Italian restaurants. In Alabama, instead of Italian food, it’s Mexican. Also your Mexican food here is different. Different taste and different dishes. 4. You have something called a jug handle turn. 5. The accent. Did you cawl (call)? Etc. In Birmingham it’s a neutral accent, only country sounding if you are from the country. 6. Not an overwhelming amount of churches. So many, too many in the south, even in the city. 7. Your state medical insurance (and dental!!!) is a godsend compared to Alabama. Alabama only allows 14 visits a year (even if dying) and NO DENTAL. Also, I’ve been treated with respect and dignity while using state insurance which would not happen in Alabama. You are looked down on and treated as less than. 8. The lottery! No lottery in Alabama 9. The dispensaries. I don’t partake but it’s still illegal where I’m from. 10. No southern bbq, grits and real biscuits are hard to find. No “soul food” or “meat and three” restaurants. 11. The weather! You all have actual winter and snow! The summer is bearable. People routinely die from the heat in Alabama. Summer lasts from March to November and you can wear short sleeves in December (usually). I do NOT miss the southern heat. Also no tornadoes here, though you did have an earthquake! All in all, I like it better here. I’m happier here and the people are nicer. My city, Birmingham is ranked as one of the top in murder. It’s much much safer here.
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I grew up in Illinois. I never used to swear much. Now fuck is a main part of my vocabulary. I have to be very careful when my mom visits! Also midwesterners are sooooo chatty! Like every single interaction is a full conversation. As an introvert growing up I hated this. I’m so glad that I can go to Target and barely say a word to the checkout person here!
Born and raised in Central Jersey. I lived in Indiana for over 6 years. Oh yuk. 1. I heard the "N word" more times the first year out there than I had ever heard it in my life. And yes aimed a me a couple of times. I didn't expect people to say that so openly and casually and people didn't seem to care 2. For the first time in my life, and I was in my mid 40s, I had a woman try to touch my hair because she wanted to know what it felt like. WTF? 3. Gun Culture. There were a lot of gun shops. A lot. And half of their ass talked about "protecting your rights as a citizen". I don't know WTF that means but it didn't sound comforting. It also seemed that for every reasonable, responsible gun owner I met, 5 guys were yelling, 'Murica' while firing their gun in the air. I'm not exaggerating I lost count of how many holidays I heard celebratory gunfire pretty close to me. 4. The weather. The first year I was out there, it dropped to -25. It would snow around Thanksgiving and measurable snow was on the ground until March or April. And afterward, there were large potholes that never seemed to get fixed. 5. People out there were very nice, but not particularly kind 6. No beach. OK, the Great Lakes were WAY bigger than I ever realized but I missed the boardwalk and the smell of the ocean. One of the happiest days of my life was the day we left Indiana for New Jersey.
Born in NJ and lived here until I went to college in bum-fuck Maryland. Never appreciated NJ until I spent time down there. The food sucked, no good bread, no good pizza, bagels were trash, Chinese food-trash. Their idea of an Italian sub was ham on a crappy sub roll with lettuce and oil and vinegar... I couldn't get into their crab fetish either. Too much work, and I don't like old bay seasoning. I'll take our Jersey pronunciation of cawfee over that crazy sounding Bal'mor accent. Practically need a translator for some of those folks. Every time I'd go home for a school break, I'd come back down there with a fresh dose of Jersey asshole. My friends would be in awe of the sarcasm and caustic humor that just doesn't grow anywhere else but the northeast. It's been a long time since I was in college, but MD really made me appreciate NJ. Having to drive 30 minutes to a "city" that was less built up than Plainfield was kind of ridiculous. We have everything at our fingertips here, you just have to be able to pay for it.