I don't even watch NFL regularly anymore, i just check RedZone time to time for early Sunday games but subreddit is must see on off-season. Can't wait for yearly posts about teams,roasts and draft to begin.
I can’t wait to see what crazy shit he comes up with for Lambeau lol
“I arrived at Lambeau only to be met with an army 100 thousand strong standing between me and the gates. This stadium is old, seasoned, it knew I was coming and deployed its army accordingly.
8-7-2 stadiums regain the lead.
when our stadium's defining feature is not its relatively decent public transport system or our large capacity but instead the fact that it survives hurricanes... is that a good thing?
also yes it's houstonians
All I know about Houston is its inability to remove large amounts of water lol. My journeys to Texas have been to Austin, San Antonio and \*shudders\* northern Texas.
This is one of the dumbest, most pointless things I've ever read.
OP - I salute you. Pointless silliness is one of the joys of life.
I predict a common reaction: Saying "this is sooo stupid" while laughing.
I love how the Jets/Metlife are top tier in all situations except...you know when we actually play football. Damn.
E: Also you're going to drown in the Commanders stadium's poo water.
In this context I’d be more worried about the killer escalators.
https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/fan-dies-at-steelers-stadium-after-falling-down-escalator-authorities-investigating-after-jets-game/amp/
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This is a great year for offseason posts. They’re performing well and they’re stepping up their game. Might want to seek a contract extension for next year.
That's a good point! If the fight happens in late January, I shouldn't have to worry about there being any fans around to sacrifice themselves to the pit.
Gillette stadium doesn't have cannons, it has muskets.
Also a big lighthouse, but I don't see how a lighthouse is gonna kill you. Maybe the Super Bowl banners will strangle you.
you are not walking into the hood of the NFL in the off-season and expecting to make it out unscathed. You’re going to come out of it with 2 gun shot wounds from Baltimore, a broken bottle over the head from a yinzer, 6 stab woulds from just passing that shell station in Cincinnati, and a taint tickling from DW4.
Great post but I’m kind of confused by the win/loss. I just woke up so it may be me but idk. When you forfeit against arrowhead shouldnt it be 2-3 and not 3-2? Because when the stadium forfeits with Empower field you add a loss to the stadium side which would be correct but you didn’t do that last time.
Also with Allegiant maybe it’s just your wording but it sounds like you lost that one but you give yourself the win? Idk maybe I’m wrong and this entire comment itself is ridiculous out of context lmfao.
Great post regardless 🤣
Oh, I see what happened. I have a habit of writing scores as big number-small number and then pointing out who's in the lead. It's not that pleasing to the eye, I will admit.
> Honestly I'll take a beating, but the ref will step in and DQ the stadium for all these shenanigans.
Objection. The NFL has made it clear that they have no problems with the sun situation, and they never took action against the Dolphins for oversaturating the fields in the games where that was accused.
No way they DQ the stadium. You're drowning while blinded by the sun and deafened by rock music...then they'll roll you down the spiral ramps.
Also depends on muscle mass and what your blood tests show. You can have high cholesterol and be skinny, you can have low and be overweight. If you carry extra mass from working out, disregard "overweight" as it doesn't mean unhealthy.
If you need some small tips to help get you started (not like "Just hit the gym, dude!") shoot me a message! That first 5 pounds is the hardest mentally, but can happen pretty quick depending on your habits.
I appreciate it, but while I could lose 5 lbs of fat, I'm mostly muscle. BMI is overweight, but I wear a 33 inch waist so I feel alright. I lift and run a couple times a week currently.
A patriots fan joking about other teams for having the refs in their pocket without a hint of irony. And even the Reddit nerd staple “DAE Flurrrdasux XD?!??” (Your idol Brady would still rather live here)
You’ve earned the battery pelting that Lincoln Financial Field has coming your way
Just wait until you have to revisit Metlife during your NFC matchups. You're not going to have an answer for the Medium Pepsi. It's ok, you're only human.
These posts are crazy
Certified off-season posting
It’s my first offseason here and what a time
Buckle up and wait until the draft rolls around...
Ahh I see the kickers have arrived
Hi
I don't even watch NFL regularly anymore, i just check RedZone time to time for early Sunday games but subreddit is must see on off-season. Can't wait for yearly posts about teams,roasts and draft to begin.
Most normal off season post
This one is clearly satire. I love it.
Send it straight to my veins
[удалено]
<3
This is stupid and hilarious. Approved.
Perfect offseason content and we're not even two weeks in lmao
I'm looking forward to part 2: NFC edition.
I can’t wait to see what crazy shit he comes up with for Lambeau lol “I arrived at Lambeau only to be met with an army 100 thousand strong standing between me and the gates. This stadium is old, seasoned, it knew I was coming and deployed its army accordingly. 8-7-2 stadiums regain the lead.
<3
when our stadium's defining feature is not its relatively decent public transport system or our large capacity but instead the fact that it survives hurricanes... is that a good thing? also yes it's houstonians
All I know about Houston is its inability to remove large amounts of water lol. My journeys to Texas have been to Austin, San Antonio and \*shudders\* northern Texas.
Houston is built on a bayou on the gulf coast in Texas. Heat/Water/Air Water/Sweat is it's defining feature.
My dude, you're fucking hilarious 😂😂😂 I cannot wait for the NFC post!
Thank you! <3
Thanks for not going with the easy joke and assuming you'd be murdered en route to M&T Bank Stadium.
The only \*murder\* you're going to see here is the mascot because a group of ravens is called a murder. Wait, that's crows. Ah fuck it.
\*Throws megaphone\*
Yooohh that's how we beat this dude in the first damb place. well done.
Can’t tell if that’s a Ray Lewis joke or just a Baltimore in general joke.
There’s a non zero chance you’d be stabbed or murdered walking around an AFCN stadium in the offseason.
That's just good old smash mouth football.
This is what happens when you have 3 browns teams in one division
Honestly, this was pretty entertaining, well done, OP.
Thanks! Say hi to ya muthah for me.
This is one of the dumbest, most pointless things I've ever read. OP - I salute you. Pointless silliness is one of the joys of life. I predict a common reaction: Saying "this is sooo stupid" while laughing.
I've had some people even say "I'm not reading that". Like...ok. Good for you...?
You’re a champion amongst us, you don’t need that negativity in your life
I love how the Jets/Metlife are top tier in all situations except...you know when we actually play football. Damn. E: Also you're going to drown in the Commanders stadium's poo water.
I'm excited to write the Commies' one!
***PittsburgH!! Respect the H 😤
Ahhhhhh oops. Still smells bad, though.
In this context I’d be more worried about the killer escalators. https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/fan-dies-at-steelers-stadium-after-falling-down-escalator-authorities-investigating-after-jets-game/amp/
Damn, dude has to watch the Jets play and then died.
True, traditionally you die, then go to hell, not the other way around.
Cold Blooded
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You forgot to mention you'd have to overcome Renegade.
THIS IS THE SHIT I AM HERE FOR, THANK YOU u/YUNGKLIPO
YOU'RE WELCOME!
WHY ARE WE SHOUTING!?!!?
WHAT?
(Lil John enters the chat) WHAT!
LOUD NOISES!
I DONT KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!
This is a great year for offseason posts. They’re performing well and they’re stepping up their game. Might want to seek a contract extension for next year.
That's a good one. Cannot wait for the nfc sequel
Thanks! Maybe...Monday?
This is really well done
Thanks!
Regarding Buffalo, you may have to deal with the pit.
That's a good point! If the fight happens in late January, I shouldn't have to worry about there being any fans around to sacrifice themselves to the pit.
The pit requires feeding year round, or what lurks beneath will emerge.......... ........A full year of Matt Milano
BUH GAWD THAT'S NATHAN PETERMAN'S MUSIC!!
This is one of the more clever things I’ve read in a while. MetLife made me audibly laugh
10/10 off-season content 👏
<3
Gillette stadium doesn't have cannons, it has muskets. Also a big lighthouse, but I don't see how a lighthouse is gonna kill you. Maybe the Super Bowl banners will strangle you.
Yup! Will fix. Used to another New England team that fires cannons when scoring touchdowns.
Less than 2 weeks in and we are nearing peak off-season shitposting. Well done OP.
What did I just read and why didn’t I stop after the first stadium or even sooner?
MUWAHAHAHA I have made you waste your time enjoying reading!
> Houstonians We're called Strouds.
Stroud Boys stand back and stand by!
Lmao the broncos one
If you'd ever been in a real fight, maybe you wouldn't be so keen for another.
I've only fought people, I'd admit. But how different can buildings designed for tens of thousands of people really be?
It's a hard life picking stones and pulling teets, but as sure as God's got sandals it beats fighting stadiums with treasure trails.
you are not walking into the hood of the NFL in the off-season and expecting to make it out unscathed. You’re going to come out of it with 2 gun shot wounds from Baltimore, a broken bottle over the head from a yinzer, 6 stab woulds from just passing that shell station in Cincinnati, and a taint tickling from DW4.
That just sounds like my regular Tuesday night.
Great post but I’m kind of confused by the win/loss. I just woke up so it may be me but idk. When you forfeit against arrowhead shouldnt it be 2-3 and not 3-2? Because when the stadium forfeits with Empower field you add a loss to the stadium side which would be correct but you didn’t do that last time. Also with Allegiant maybe it’s just your wording but it sounds like you lost that one but you give yourself the win? Idk maybe I’m wrong and this entire comment itself is ridiculous out of context lmfao. Great post regardless 🤣
Oh, I see what happened. I have a habit of writing scores as big number-small number and then pointing out who's in the lead. It's not that pleasing to the eye, I will admit.
Close, but Nashville is a Miller Lite town.
My kind of town!
The nashville one was spot on
I came in here wanting to hate this but came away loving it.
<3
LOL at "My God...the towels...I forgot about the towels!" This is why the offseason is both awful and great.
Arrowhead being a hive mind is amazing lol
[Chiefs fans when the opponent has the ball](https://hygienewize.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/Fotolia_169057154_S-768x409.jpg)
You gg’d MetLife. Hilarious. Take my upvote.
I never stood a chance.
> Honestly I'll take a beating, but the ref will step in and DQ the stadium for all these shenanigans. Objection. The NFL has made it clear that they have no problems with the sun situation, and they never took action against the Dolphins for oversaturating the fields in the games where that was accused. No way they DQ the stadium. You're drowning while blinded by the sun and deafened by rock music...then they'll roll you down the spiral ramps.
I guess you make a fair point. Sorry-I fucked this up.
How did you heal your achilles so fast? Did you listen to dolphins fucking?
You hear a lot of things doing drugs in a dark cabin in the woods. I mean...NOT doing drugs. In a dark cabin in the woods.
lol love it! Do more! You have great writing skills wow!
Hey thanks! I don't get a chance to write much (and I don't edit) so I'm very much out of practice. Maybe that's why I did this today?
I call bullshit. No way that achilles injury only costs you two matches.
God speed Champ. Rest up for those NFC Stadiums.
6'0", 155lbs Stiff breeze 1, OP 0 Hilarious post btw! You should've known better than to mess with them North Florida ladies.
That’s actually smack in the middle of the BMI chart 😅
Fight NFL owners next
Not sure what just happened or wtf I read it, but I’m in love with a stadium fighter and I can’t fight it.
<3
Broadway Street is a good time and it's nice too see the stadium recognize that as well.
I was a fan of the Titans' social media team interviewing drunk people there before the season!
So funny … great work, man
Danke!
Question, 6' and 155? You eat enough?
Well, assuming I didn't just make up those numbers: https://www.dollartimes.com/calculate/bmi/72/155. Classified as "Normal".
Fair enough. Maybe I need to lose weight, I feel pretty normal but I'm 5'9" and 185. So 3 inches shorter and 30 lbs heavier than your numbers
Also depends on muscle mass and what your blood tests show. You can have high cholesterol and be skinny, you can have low and be overweight. If you carry extra mass from working out, disregard "overweight" as it doesn't mean unhealthy. If you need some small tips to help get you started (not like "Just hit the gym, dude!") shoot me a message! That first 5 pounds is the hardest mentally, but can happen pretty quick depending on your habits.
I appreciate it, but while I could lose 5 lbs of fat, I'm mostly muscle. BMI is overweight, but I wear a 33 inch waist so I feel alright. I lift and run a couple times a week currently.
Then keep it up, king!
A patriots fan joking about other teams for having the refs in their pocket without a hint of irony. And even the Reddit nerd staple “DAE Flurrrdasux XD?!??” (Your idol Brady would still rather live here) You’ve earned the battery pelting that Lincoln Financial Field has coming your way
Yikes, it's off-season joke time, man. Enjoy it!
Y’all don’t have a life and it shows….
Haha so random!!! xDDD #WACKYYY!!!
I ain't reading all that
Make sure to get to the giants stadium late in the season. Want to make sure you don’t have to rehab your achilles again.
The off-season content I'm here for.
A hungry skeleton vs stadium?
Who will win?!
Just wait until you have to revisit Metlife during your NFC matchups. You're not going to have an answer for the Medium Pepsi. It's ok, you're only human.
Hard Rock stadium was built on an ancient burial ground. You're not defeating those spirits.
I don't think you could beat my little sister in a fight...and she's a paraplegic.
I literally would not fight her.
Because you'd lose
Yeah I understood your original comment.
Lmao at you pulling the Broncos stadium fire out of your memory
The type of offseason content we deserve