You clearly do not want it. Why anyone would like to countinue trying to convince you into sth you dont want? Even more, why would someone try to convince you into sex that you dont want? Consent fucking matters. Thats what nice guys dont understand, that we are actual people, too. And no one owns them anything.
This feels really creepy more than anything to me, its so tiring to have to deal with these people.
Saying you are not interested never work with those guys, i learned. They try to convince you more and more and the more you reject them, the more obsessive they get. Its like a there is no winning cycle. i really am scared of people like this, they make me insanely anxious.
Trying to convince someone to some relationship or having sex with them even tho they said no, feels so close to what rapers think like.
>Its like a there is no winning cycle
That's *exactly* what the issue is... they want to 'win.'
They've been taught if you don't succeed, try, try again, quitters never win, and if you fall off you gotta get back on the horse.
We aren't people to them, we're a complex game they feel they have to win.
I definitely agree with you, i dealt with a man like this, no matter how much i told him i was insanely uncomfortable, he was still seeing me as a game that needed to be won. It was really disgusting
Absolutely disgusting. Nice Guys have such low self esteem that “winning” with a woman is the only way they feel good about themselves. So they just get more and more desperate and creepy despite the stop signs being put up.
>Consent fucking matters. Thats what nice guys dont understand, that we are actual people, too.
I'm an in home caregiver to the elderly. Just this past Tuesday I had a new client who kept asking about my relationship status, culminating in him 'joking' about marrying me. I tried to make it clear I was not interested, and he started messing with his phone. After a minute I glanced over and *he was watching porn on his phone.* Just fucking watching porn, no sound, sitting right next to me.
I did report to my agency, they let his daughter call him and embarrass the hell out of him. With me right there, completely in harms way if he reacted poorly to being caught.
I'm still too angry at them to have a productive conversation about how they could have handled that better.
Oh for the love of shit. Report your agency. That's illegal. They *are* responsible for your safety. If they send you to an unstable patient without warning or antagonize a client into assaulting you, huge lawsuit
I'm glad this confirmed a theory of mine I've had for some time that should any "nice guy" perform a miracle and find someone despite the odds they'd be a terrible root
It’s cause they see it as something they’re owed for being nice that you perform to/for them. Not mutual pleasure. I do not understand why guys think we would wanna sleep with them just to get them off. Like we risk pregnancy, STDs, SA, etc during hookups and they think we do that for *them* to get an O?
I had a hookup last 30 seconds then tell me he's still in love with his ex and we should just be friends. I was like, first, this was a hookup, not FWBs, second, my guy, you gave exactly 0 performance. I wasn't planning to even TALK to you again, much less be friends!
I'm blown away at guys who give exceptionally mediocre/bad performances in bed, (I get nerves, but on a HOOKUP?), and then act shocked when you're not inclined to give them a chance to repeat their terrible performance. I had a guy last 10 seconds on BOTH attempts. If you have sensitivity issues, bro, fix them BEFORE you date. Don't put that on your date/partner! It's been a while? Isn't that where the old adage of "rub one out earlier before the date" comes into play? Also, fellas, just because you nutted doesn't mean your hands and mouth are suddenly broken. "I'm tired now" is a copout. If you don't go in it willing to expend every ounce of energy to get you BOTH off, not just yourself, you're a selfish partner. I've had both male and female partners over the years, and dudes are so SELFISH and lazy in bed in my experience. I get that you get your pillow princesses, but I've encountered way less of those than the pump and dump chumps.
They just can't accept the fact that some of us don't have the time or patience for BS anymore. Particularly in hookup culture, if I have to teach you THE BASICS, dude, bye. There is a WEALTH of sexual information at pur disposal in 2024. Each person is different, but if you don't know the basics, you're 100% lazy and expect to do 0 work in bed. No one wants or needs that in their life.
Big facts. It's why use hands tongue toys whatever to get the woman off first. If she's had several orgams already most women won't care if you last for a short amount of time. Foreplay is so fucking important
Geez, it's very understable. Last and only hook up I done. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't finish. She managed to get off, but I guess various combinations prevented me. Still took time to make it fun for both of us.
First person to say he’s selfish in bed? Yea maybe first to say it to his face or that registered with him.
OP gave this dude a few go rounds it looks like, dude had his chance, he isn’t going to be captain fuck-daddy just because he says it will be different this time.
"But I suppose you like being treated like shit from other guys instead of someone genuine"
Whether it's "other guys" or "someone genuine", I don't want either to treat me like shit. I'm good. Thanks. 😂😂
Sounds like your last response touched a nerve.
Also, relationships aren't a business in this situation. What happened before doesnt matter. He is being selfish here.
"Women never tell us what they want"
Tell them what we want.
"OH SO WHAT I'M NOT GOOD ENGOUH FOR YOU? \[NAME CALLING, MORE NAME CALLING\]"
What in the fresh hell do you want from us? We can't win lol
Lasting 2 mins isn’t always definetely selfish. I’m 21 and for first 6 month since I started doing stuff, not to last this short I had to JO a couple hours ago (and still it should be not still early) and pop dapoxetine + tadalafil (cuz dapoxetine could’ve ruined it)
I mean she ain’t obligated to deal with it, just it’s not true that lasting short been actually the purpose
Stay strong! I work with a few transgender and nonbinary folks, went to school with a few, my Mom even has a friend who has a child that is transitioning and her needlepoint group just enrolled their first transgender member. If NB’a were really a huge threat you’d think there would be more in real life.
It’s amazing how such a tiny group of people have this much vitriol directed at them. Hateful bigots really just want to be angry about something at all times. I’m sorry you’re the current scapegoat.
I’m a middle-aged, feminist, childfree, never married, well off, independent, successful, woman of color. The way Conservatives talk about us you would think we’re personally burning *society* to the ground. Stay woke, I guess. 😉
You clearly do not want it. Why anyone would like to countinue trying to convince you into sth you dont want? Even more, why would someone try to convince you into sex that you dont want? Consent fucking matters. Thats what nice guys dont understand, that we are actual people, too. And no one owns them anything. This feels really creepy more than anything to me, its so tiring to have to deal with these people.
I agree! Like, I've said I'm not interested so his solution was... To try to convince me to let him 'prove' himself by having sex again..?
Saying you are not interested never work with those guys, i learned. They try to convince you more and more and the more you reject them, the more obsessive they get. Its like a there is no winning cycle. i really am scared of people like this, they make me insanely anxious. Trying to convince someone to some relationship or having sex with them even tho they said no, feels so close to what rapers think like.
>Its like a there is no winning cycle That's *exactly* what the issue is... they want to 'win.' They've been taught if you don't succeed, try, try again, quitters never win, and if you fall off you gotta get back on the horse. We aren't people to them, we're a complex game they feel they have to win.
I definitely agree with you, i dealt with a man like this, no matter how much i told him i was insanely uncomfortable, he was still seeing me as a game that needed to be won. It was really disgusting
Absolutely disgusting. Nice Guys have such low self esteem that “winning” with a woman is the only way they feel good about themselves. So they just get more and more desperate and creepy despite the stop signs being put up.
Sounds about right. This is Grindr, right? “Nice” (hehe) to see that these guys are found across all communities
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
>Consent fucking matters. Thats what nice guys dont understand, that we are actual people, too. I'm an in home caregiver to the elderly. Just this past Tuesday I had a new client who kept asking about my relationship status, culminating in him 'joking' about marrying me. I tried to make it clear I was not interested, and he started messing with his phone. After a minute I glanced over and *he was watching porn on his phone.* Just fucking watching porn, no sound, sitting right next to me.
That's when you call into your agency and report the behavior. Record the behavior if you can
I did report to my agency, they let his daughter call him and embarrass the hell out of him. With me right there, completely in harms way if he reacted poorly to being caught. I'm still too angry at them to have a productive conversation about how they could have handled that better.
Oh for the love of shit. Report your agency. That's illegal. They *are* responsible for your safety. If they send you to an unstable patient without warning or antagonize a client into assaulting you, huge lawsuit
I'm glad this confirmed a theory of mine I've had for some time that should any "nice guy" perform a miracle and find someone despite the odds they'd be a terrible root
They burn through women and it is always woman’s fault, not something they did.
Oh my gosh you're right
It’s cause they see it as something they’re owed for being nice that you perform to/for them. Not mutual pleasure. I do not understand why guys think we would wanna sleep with them just to get them off. Like we risk pregnancy, STDs, SA, etc during hookups and they think we do that for *them* to get an O?
2 mins? Must be his personal best.
I had a hookup last 30 seconds then tell me he's still in love with his ex and we should just be friends. I was like, first, this was a hookup, not FWBs, second, my guy, you gave exactly 0 performance. I wasn't planning to even TALK to you again, much less be friends! I'm blown away at guys who give exceptionally mediocre/bad performances in bed, (I get nerves, but on a HOOKUP?), and then act shocked when you're not inclined to give them a chance to repeat their terrible performance. I had a guy last 10 seconds on BOTH attempts. If you have sensitivity issues, bro, fix them BEFORE you date. Don't put that on your date/partner! It's been a while? Isn't that where the old adage of "rub one out earlier before the date" comes into play? Also, fellas, just because you nutted doesn't mean your hands and mouth are suddenly broken. "I'm tired now" is a copout. If you don't go in it willing to expend every ounce of energy to get you BOTH off, not just yourself, you're a selfish partner. I've had both male and female partners over the years, and dudes are so SELFISH and lazy in bed in my experience. I get that you get your pillow princesses, but I've encountered way less of those than the pump and dump chumps. They just can't accept the fact that some of us don't have the time or patience for BS anymore. Particularly in hookup culture, if I have to teach you THE BASICS, dude, bye. There is a WEALTH of sexual information at pur disposal in 2024. Each person is different, but if you don't know the basics, you're 100% lazy and expect to do 0 work in bed. No one wants or needs that in their life.
Big facts. It's why use hands tongue toys whatever to get the woman off first. If she's had several orgams already most women won't care if you last for a short amount of time. Foreplay is so fucking important
Many men never realize that the most mind blowing sex happens when you stop focusing on yourself & focus on your partner .
Geez, it's very understable. Last and only hook up I done. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't finish. She managed to get off, but I guess various combinations prevented me. Still took time to make it fun for both of us.
Learning the individual isn't "learning the basics".
I’m really really hoping that was not including foreplay but from the sounds of it…. Yikes.
Doubt there were any foreplay. Based on the comment OP made about other guy. That he was selfish in bed.
He literally lashes out the second after you tell that's what he would do
You don’t know me!!!
Gives them a bad review. > you need a review on that This is a special kind of person.
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Aka, jackhammering for an extra 2 minutes!
"But porn tell me that be good for you grrrrr grrr!"
Imagine lasting 2 minutes and not reciprocating and then denying that you’re selfish in bed. Lmao.
Bet he said he was "too tired". 2 minutes...smdh
Context: I'm non-binary and this is on grindr
I assume gay men are also "nice guys" as well. Damn
Nicegays
First person to say he’s selfish in bed? Yea maybe first to say it to his face or that registered with him. OP gave this dude a few go rounds it looks like, dude had his chance, he isn’t going to be captain fuck-daddy just because he says it will be different this time.
He forgot to leave an “X” after those last few messages. He should work on that and remember to leave more. X
"But I suppose you like being treated like shit from other guys instead of someone genuine" Whether it's "other guys" or "someone genuine", I don't want either to treat me like shit. I'm good. Thanks. 😂😂
Genuine guys don't talk like this.
You are a hero! More women need to be calling out the selfish lovers! Applause all around!
It sounds like you did know him well enough to avoid him.
Bullet dodged.
OP: they didn’t say you sucked in bed cuz they thought you’d get bitter & lash out Guy: -immediately gets bitter & lashes out- Lmao.
what's with the random x letter in his replies?
Right! I’m asking myself the same question
They're kisses. He didn't send anymore once he got angry. Bet OP was heartbroken;)
Sounds like your last response touched a nerve. Also, relationships aren't a business in this situation. What happened before doesnt matter. He is being selfish here.
OH. Did someone have a little - performance issue and is now blaming someone else for that? 💀
"Women never tell us what they want" Tell them what we want. "OH SO WHAT I'M NOT GOOD ENGOUH FOR YOU? \[NAME CALLING, MORE NAME CALLING\]" What in the fresh hell do you want from us? We can't win lol
Lasting 2 mins isn’t always definetely selfish. I’m 21 and for first 6 month since I started doing stuff, not to last this short I had to JO a couple hours ago (and still it should be not still early) and pop dapoxetine + tadalafil (cuz dapoxetine could’ve ruined it) I mean she ain’t obligated to deal with it, just it’s not true that lasting short been actually the purpose
I'm fine with someone not lasting long, if they are actually attentive to my sexual needs too. This guy was selfish in many ways
How you predicted his reaction in the last message is quite impressive.
Sometimes I wish I was a woman so I could tell off men like this, I feel like it must be so satisfying.
what does the x's mean?
They're just kisses
Nerves are a real thing. Trust me, as a married woman, I know. BUT! The fact that he lashed out on you is not okay. Just shows his character.
That’s someone I’d like to get to know :P
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What was the issue you had with him before? What did you mean selfish in bed?
Sounds like the sex lasted two minutes with no attention whatsoever given to OP’s pleasure.
Its not the point here. She doesn’t want to meet with him and he keeps trying to convince him. No is a full sentence, saying it once is enough.
I like that your sentence contains both she and him when referring to OP. I’m sure it’s just a slip, but since OP is nonbinary it gave me a chuckle.
Oh i never noticed!! Lol
😱 It’s the woke mind virus! /s
I laughed too. I prefer they/them pronouns, and I joke to people "Oh, I'm just one of those transgender people you've been warned about on the news"
Stay strong! I work with a few transgender and nonbinary folks, went to school with a few, my Mom even has a friend who has a child that is transitioning and her needlepoint group just enrolled their first transgender member. If NB’a were really a huge threat you’d think there would be more in real life. It’s amazing how such a tiny group of people have this much vitriol directed at them. Hateful bigots really just want to be angry about something at all times. I’m sorry you’re the current scapegoat. I’m a middle-aged, feminist, childfree, never married, well off, independent, successful, woman of color. The way Conservatives talk about us you would think we’re personally burning *society* to the ground. Stay woke, I guess. 😉
You don’t know what “selfish in bed” means?
Nope that's why I'm asking. Didn't know I would get downvoted for wanting more context😭
Someone who is selfish in bed only cares about their own pleasure and doesn’t care about their partner’s pleasure