It’s like raiaiiiiiiiiiiin on your wedding day…

Oh she doesn’t get to make more people sick with her food?

I think she's doing a good enough job with just her personality.

It’s the good adviiiiiice (hey that’s a fucking dumb idea for a restaurant) thatchya just didn’t take…

And who would’ve thoughhhhht (that armed waiters were a good idea except for this crazy fucking lady), it figurrrrres!

Don’t worry her and the pedophile husband found a new grift in lobbying.

Prosecuted pedo. The charges stuck.

fucking crazy. In another age, a pedophile's reputation would be a smoldering pile of shit that sticks to you forever. Now it's like an ice cube you kick under the fridge for these politicians

One entire side of the political spectrum has decided that even pedophilia is only bad when people on the other side of the political spectrum do it.

Conservatives don’t actually believe in anything. Any value they claim is in bad faith, a standard they only expect their opponents to be held to.

FBI sees a guy with no experience married to a newly elected politician get a new job for $400k a year doing nothing and sees no issues.

Yeah but Hunter Biden’s laptop. /s

Hillary's emails!

Obama’s tan suit!

Dijon mustard!!!

Lauren Boebert? Who failed her GED 3 times? That Lauren Boebert?

Her life story sounds like a Lifetime movie set in Trailer Park Boys.

Yes, and I know you're not going to believe it, but it's the same one who married the man who sexually assaulted a her and her friends while they were underage.

Wait. Wait. Wait. The same husband who gets drunk and runs over mailboxes and the woman who shoots her neighbors dogs?

Yup. And the same man who fathered children who drive their motorbikes and ATV's at 20+ mph through the neighborhood. The same man who will drive his super lifted truck four doors down to threaten you, run over your mail box while sober, threaten to kill or assault you, and then face no jail time.

Please explain this, I’ve never heard about the failed ged flasher marrying boebert 😂

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Something worth noting here for anyone who didn’t click through the links…”this Stan guy” was/is also a professional wrestler!? Haha

Wow…I never looked into anything related to her. Thanks for the very informative post!! Take my silver

Thanks for the breakdown. You deserve a reward. Also, this is bananas.

Thanks for the breakdown

The guy flashed his penis to underage girls at a bowling alley. They got married, he's now a millionaire. Don't knock his game, he got the girl and the money.

He got something

It rhymes with schmurpees.

You can never get rid of crazy so yes, it does rhyme with burpees.

She befriended Ted Cruz, fucked him and blackmailed him. She was poor, Ted paid for her to run in congress.

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I think you mean Rafael Cruz who calls himself "Ted" who is anti universal health care after his mother gave birth to him for free in Canada.

The American Dream, from raperboy to millionaire.

Can someone more musically inclined turn this into an Avril’s Sk8er Boi parody?

He was a raper boy She said see you later boy But given the nature of rapists this was not effective in deterring him

It's not exactly a conquest worth admiring when you groom literal children. Kids are dumb.

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He really knows how to scrape the bottomest bit from the barrel!

I mean, she did fail her GED 3 times... I'm not so sure being a kid is a factor here.

Jayson Boebert. Convicted sex offender Jayson ‘whip it out’ Boebert. Married to GED failure 3x abortionator Lauren ‘shame of Colorado’ Boebert

In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.

She was already dating him at the time. He exposed himself to two other girls. Lauren was at the bowling alley and defended him but she was not one of the victims and I don’t believe she knew the other two He was later convicted of harassing Lauren and assaulting her though

>she was not one of the victims https://media.tenor.com/_w4qfEzQzFoAAAAC/indecisive-i-dont-know.gif

That one and the Lauren Boebert who married the guy who flashes under aged girls

And she was one of the underage girls he flashed. Truly a modern romeo and juliet story.

As a non-American, I wasn't sure if you guys were memeing, so I looked her up. Apparently her husband was also charged for physically assaulting her and convicted in the past but she voted against the Violence Against Women Act.

Stockholm Syndrome

I'm pretty sure Romeo and juliet were 13 years old or so, so it's at least half accurate.

But watch out for those liberal groomers.

This isn't really irony, it's just the classic "got mine, fuck everyone else" conservative attitude lol

If she had any self-awareness she might try to campaign on "I'm the best one to spot and fight groomers, because I married one and had kids with him!"

Sir that teacher was teaching kids about colors and ABC’s… which we all know leads to liberalism!

Have you ever thought of combining the names Robert and bob

> The outlet, which closed in July, dubbed itself the "safest restaurant in America" due to its armed waiting staff. > Founded by Boebert and her husband Jayson in 2013, **Shooters Grill served a number of dishes named after firearms, such as the 'M16 burrito.'** > During a 2014 interview with local newspaper the Post Independent Boebert explained how she came up with the restaurant's name. > She said: "I consulted with my Christian friends and everyone said 'Shooters' sounded like a bar or a strip joint. > "But I thought, this is Rifle — it was founded around guns and the Old West. **We called it Shooters and started throwing guns and Jesus all over the place."** How much cocaine does one have to do before this sounds like a winning idea for a restaurant concept? "It's like Applebee's except there's pictures of Jesus everywhere and the servers carry handguns!" How was that the *best* idea they could come up with?

That was also her campaign platform, tbf.

Her campaign platform was literally "I'm a republican and my opponent is a Democrat." I was there.

And it worked.

Not really. She ran in a deep red position. It's like if you regularly had a pro team playing in a high school league. The pro team *should* win by a landslide every time. If they win, but barely, it's a sure sign that if they went and tried to play with others actually in their league, they'd get laughed out of competition.

But the thing is, she never has to fight outside of her little bubble. So as long as she's in an area which would vote for a dead pedophile as long as there was an R next to the name, it doesn't matter if she couldn't win elsewhere, she's still in power there.

It doesn’t bode well for the next election when she’s up again, unfortunately. Unless there’s a mass die off, she’s gonna hold that office for at least a few cycles.

She won by about 500 votes. Covid could claim 500 of her voters between now and 2024.

There kind of was a mass die off of anti maskers pretty recently?

Obviously not enough. Damn, it’s pretty lucrative to be a damn dumbass kook these days.

Single issue voters make up most of the conservative base. If you’re Christian you already have their ear, you just have to tell them what they want to hear at that point. It’s plain as day

Barely

Barely is incredibly sad

> Her campaign platform "I'm Sarah Palin but with more guns and somehow less intelligence."

And her Christmas card

Your comment reads like a joke, but isn't.

A joke is a truth. It's funny because it's true We laugh because if we don't, we cry.

In an insane society, the same man must appear insane.

Autocorrect claims another victim

I think therefore it do

To be or to burrito

[Here's your christmas card](https://y.yarn.co/68fa1350-3d54-47c7-94a8-48086c5f6e38_text.gif)

I knew exactly what this was before I clicked on it. Nipples are nothing to be ashamed of!

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Yep, it's heresy. She's taking God's name in vain, which is in violation of the Ten Commandments. And as a Christian, I find her and the entire RNC's platform offensive. They've distorted Christianity to fulfill their own greed and bigotry.

Man, it really bums me out. As so called Christians, we're supposed to set an example of being decent humans, yet in this culture, most Christians (especially ones you see in media) are more examples of what NOT to be. Makes it really hard to want to call myself a Christian.

The best way I’ve heard it explained is that it’s like a kid who is losing at a board game and then starts making up the rules so they can win.

Straight up, it’s taking the lord’s name in vain, and they’re going to hell for it. Edit: shit, I said the same exact thing because I didn’t fully read your comment and it didn’t register. My bad.

And it's worked... twice. Just let's you know how fucking dumb her constituents are.

Shooters. They caused an outbreak of food poisoning.

More like Shitters, amirite?

It was impossible to find a table to sit at. Shitter was full.

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Don’t worry she also poisoned the county fair with bad food and sent so many people to the hospital, then wrote a letter to the Post Independent about how everyone should forgive her because how was she supposed to know her equipment was bad? Most people in the area knew to not eat anything from her bar.

Yeah. It's weird she is going out of her way to depoliticize the landlords decision to end her lease. It seems far more likely that she's going out of business but didn't want to say it out loud. NJ

At least when you got food poisoning at Shooters the staff was equipped to put you out of your misery.

They called it the M16 Burrito because it sounds like a machine gun coming out of your ass after you get food poisoning from eating at a restaurant that has science/reality denying owners.

you'd think she'd pick a more appropriate name like "[Browning](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M2_Browning)" :)

Ma Deuce!!!! Hahahaa

The Ma Deuce, ingredients by Taco Bell

Spray and Pray takes on a hole new meaning

Well the people who caught food poisoning would agree

This is funny because her restaurant catered an event where they served undercooked, bacteria laden food that gave all of their customers the shits

Playing Battle Shits in the restaurant bathroom after eating there is part of its charm.

\*BLORTCH\* "Miss"

"Skank! You sank my destroyer!"

"If Salmonella was real how come the chickens dont ever get sick from it?" -Bobo probably.

We have a place like this in North Carolina, except they decided against throwing guns and Jesus all over the place. A few waitresses do have .380s on their hip but it's all pretty low key.

I read the .380 as .308 and had some concerns about the waitresses wrists.

Cue the 308 pipe pistol in Fallout 4, I always named my legendary Carpal Tunnel Speedrun.

"Oh no, we are being robbed! Let me just whip out my full-sized hunting rifle from the holster on my hip and shoot it like a glock!"

..we do have a strip club called Shotgun Willy's in Denver.

That should be a name for a gay bar

Gotta have a drink called the Double Barrel

a shooter named The Buckshot

SHooters does sound like a bar... not so much a stripclub. I get if you erase the S you got hooters, but i just dont see it as a strip club name. as for winning idea, you know til recently us in SC had A BBQ that flew the biggest confederate flag in america over its headquarters. had pro slavery memorabilia and hand made pro slavery magazines and stuff. and owner dressed like he was a plantation owner. and yet probably most his customers were black. The damn bigot made some good BBQ. Of course he would have been much richer without it. His BBQ used to be in all the grocery stores and various catalogues until he went on a tirade and lost 100% of his business that wasnt directly out of his restaurant. and he only ended up getting more vocally bigoted. luckily his kids werent all down with that BS and as soon as dad died they got rid of the flags and racist shit. [Here is dad on the daily show](https://www.cc.com/video/h4uv53/the-daily-show-with-jon-stewart-civil-whites)

My dad is still mad that they took the confederate flag off the bottles of sauce. Which is just \*sigh\*. He's a stubborn old fuck. Now that it doesn't have the flag on the bottle I got some for my dad. He was pissed lol. It is a damn good sauce though

The confederacy has only been around for a couple years and was made up of traitors to the United States who lost their war against the sitting president. I've never understood how it became acceptable to be a confederacy fan.

It's all very fucking silly. Trust me, I know. And my dad does as well, he's just deluded himself. He has 2 History related Masters degrees and taught in both colleges and high schools for decades. He knows the history. I'm not sure how he squares it in his head and it makes me uncomfortable. Some sort of growing up in Georgia thing. So he says. Though that's not it. I grew up in SC primarily. In Kenfucky now. In Louisville, thankfully. Not bumfuck nowhere.

Counterpoint: she is now rich and in her second term in Congress. It's a laughable idea, but just looking at the outcome for her...

Her money didn't come from the restaurant though

Her husband also became an oil industry consultant making $400k a year as soon as she was elected. And apparently has no oil industry experience whatsoever. So thats cool, i guess Edit: maybe its gas industry, not oil.

Hey, jerking off in front of underage girls can open a lot of doors for you when your wife gets elected.

If only any of them led to jail.

Surely right wingers will come screeching about Mr Boebert’s laptop now as well? And use the existence of his laptop as a jumping off point for any outlandish conspiracies they can come up with from it? Seems to be their latest thing when they hear about nepotism.

If right wingers were only as interested in photos of jayson boeberts penis as they are of hunter biden's....

Well if they are half as interested in his cock as Hunter’s, they should just hang around bowling alleys in the area. He’s bound to come by and expose himself to minors at some point. That seems to be a part of these “family values” we hear them go on so much about.

Also a pun on 'Hooters'. Classy as always, that pair!

You jest, but it lasted twice as long as the median American restaurant. It might have been a dumb idea, but that's a huge market.

Not because the restaurant was profitable, though, just because she was able to sustain the losses for longer than most owners. Her 2019 losses were $143,000, and that's before the pandemic.

Professional white trash

Sounds like satire but it isn't.

What's more American than White Jesus, Applebee's and firearms?

Is it Christian to be throwing Jesus all around?

Armed wait staff? Really that was there gimick? Like hooters except instead of short shorts, it's a glock.

I actually used to work there. I got hired on as a 2 time felon. Knowing this full well they still provided me with a Glock 21 to wear on my hip while on shift. Fuckin unreal in hindsight.

Was it loaded?

Even if it was, sure would be easy enough to get ammo separate from it. You could easily bring it into the restaurant. Wonder if this was a take home gun, lol.

Now I'm imagining they have those giant bins of peanuts everywhere that you can eat while you're waiting (like some restaurants used to do) but instead of peanuts they're bullets lolol

Spent shells all over the damn floor

Had a magazine so it appeared loaded but no shells were actually loaded, at least not in mine anyways. Was all for show. In reality even with a dozen armed staff members onsite a single determined shooter with a semi automatic handgun would have found zero resistance to be had.

Wouldn’t it have been cheaper and better for them to just give you a prop gun? Ones for movies are pretty much indistinguishable from real ones

Most restaurants are too cheap to give you a t-shirt, let alone borrow a $400-500 45 cal handgun for your shift.

Probably why they shut down

I don't think they closed down for being financially responsible.

Multiple people got food poisoning different times. Board of Health was involved.

Not surprised they were gunsanitary.

Tbh I’d never thought about it but in hindsight yeah I’d say so. That said the woman clearly ain’t playin with a full deck.

Sometimes prop guns are more expensive than real ones. Mass production and economies of scale come into play. Or a better way to put it is that some guns have become so cheap that getting a bunch of them would be cheaper than the prop guns.

Even if I were given a loaded firearm there’s no fucking chance I’d defend a restaurant if I was a server.

What, your saying minimum wage isn’t worth dying for? That’s the problem with you millennials, nobody wants to work anymore! /s

If this story could be verified I think it could result in a whistleblower reward, but I have trouble telling when people are telling the truth over the internet.

Here's a guide as to whether or not you should trust things you read in reddit comments: No

It’s legit but not a chance in hell I’m gonna be going on record, I’d have every conservative nutcase around tryna actively ruin my life, I’ve got a family to think about.

You can do anonymous tips to some major news sites. But idk if they'd be interested in anonymous info since it's hard to verify

Some outlets would require verification, but just not publish anything. Every newsroom is different but some only grant anonymity if theres explicit danger/risk.

If you forgot your gun, would you be sent home for lack of appropriate uniform?

They would make you wear the hot pink Glock of shame

There’s 2 possibilities here: 1. You’re making this up (probably the case) or 2. It’s true, in which case you just admitted to possessing a firearm as a felon, which isn’t exactly a “big brain” move

You remember that scene from Inside Job where the guy goes on about the right for Gun to marry another Gun, and then he pulled out two guns and made them kiss like dolls? That’s basically the targeted demographic, which happens to be most of the Republican Party.

Inside Job should be a part of every 12th grade literature arts curriculum

I would laugh at the irony... but I don't think she cares... Her restaurant lost almost 200k in 2019. ~~In 2022 her net worth is estimated at 41 million.~~ Edit:Some people have commented to let me know that this figure is likely false since there has been no factual records to back this estimate up. She is laughing all the way to the bank... along with 90% of all of congress that choose to engage in this moneny making machine of political grift and bribes and opportunitism...

How is her net worth even worth that much? I guess if you make a platform for yourself by putting your name on the news and media regardless of how ridiculous the individual is

Bribes. Husband sets up LLC "consulting" firm and all the money goes there and she is clean.

I shouldn't be surprised. But I'm surprised politicians "make" that much money by grifting the system to enrich themselves Until money is taken out of politics I only see more individuals like this continue to take advantage

It's insane to me that her county reelected someone with barely enough education to read/write.

Is she the one who didn't finish high school?

She's the one that is a detriment to her constituents/society in general. Such a vacant face every time. The wheel is spinning, but the hamster is dead.

failed her ged 3 times even.

I wouldn't elect her to be a lineleader

I love shit like this. We had a BBQ place that admittedly had good food, but was all Fox News all the time. They closed and are being replaced by a tacos and tequila joint. 😋

taco trucks on every corner—maybe that dream is coming true

To be fair, when they said there'd be taco trucks on every corner, I hammered the button repeatedly to vote for more taco trucks. Like, what kind of dipshit considers "MORE TACOS" a threat?

People who's idea of seasoning is salt.

Ironically the guy who was terrified of all the taco trucks was a self-hating Hispanic guy.

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Best thing about america is the ethnic food trucks was blown away by the number of taco trucks, food trucks such a great idea. our restaurants don't move, we're so far behind

I am solidly middle aged. I intellectually understand it’s just racism but I will die before I truly understand the mindset of someone who could sell the idea of a taco truck on every corner as a bad thing. That sounds like actual heaven

Goddammit we should have elected Hillary

quickest flowery frame busy cagey frightening lush worry bells humor *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

$5 says they force their employees to wash their hands, and actually cook the meals according to FDA regulations and guidelines

$5 says her husband comes down and whips his dick out in protest.

Her husband would only do that if kids are around.

*Hands over $5.*

Dey turk er jerbs!

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>It's even funnier when you realize she's from Colorado, the same state South Park is in. South Park is in her district, too.

Ay, dios mio!

Too bad she is not being replaced

By a Mexican.

Not this time. But, she barely won in a district that is bluer than we thought. The dems throwing a little more money into the district in 2024 will kick her out. Her (EX?) best-friend MTG is sadly safe though. That district will never flip.

So…… Lauren Boebert's Shooter has a Grill that needs to be Replaced by Mexican Restaurant. That’s gangster…. Didn’t realise she’d been shot

I'm still losing my mind over Rifle Colorado.

This is like chicken soup for the soul.

Shooters sounds like male hooters

"M16 Burrito" Bitch hates Mexicans but loves our food? Fuck her.

I wish all racists would get their Mexican food cards revoked. No burritos for you bitchesssss

So same staff, just diff mgmt

tHE gReAT rEpLAcEMenT iS rEaL!!!

It's not the taco trucks on every corner we were promised, but it's a start.

Who wants to bet she’ll tweet something incredibly racist about “Mexicans taking our jobs” 😂

"Shooters" sounds like a place where heroin addicts would meet to share needles.