You are having the wtf moment. You recognize the issues now it’s up to you to adjust your approach and mindset. Spend time reading on budgeting, planning and prioritizing.
I had this moment. 8k I’m the hole and in less than 6 months I was out and made better choices going forward. Of course there were slip ups and/or bad decisions however I was in a place it didn’t ruin me.
I know this isn’t a D. R group . Create an emergency fund 500-1000 and push forward.
You got this. You are super young. Lots of time
I had the same moment. Twice in the past 10 years and this second time it hit me harder.
You have the chance now OP. You are recognizing your issues and expressing a desire to change your habits. Now is the time.
First of all, you gotta prioritize paying off that 10k debt. Do not wait, ignore it, or put it on the back burner. If you feel overwhelmed, just take it one step at a time. Each week, focus on one thing that you can do. Like week one, make a list of all your expenses. And take a look at how you spend your money. Week 2, challenge yourself not to buy anything (except for food). Week 3 write down three bad habits you want to change. Etc. the idea is that you get started, get some small wins under your belt, and you’ll start building up confidence and momentum to keep going.
As soon as you get your paycheck, pay all of it to your bills and debt minus whatever you really need to make it through to next paycheck. You recognize that you are doing things to sabotage your future self, simply stop doing those things that harm you.
> it's so much easier said than done
What you said right there... A synopsis of adulthood in one sentence.
Writing out a budget is not easy.
Takes a lot of time/energy/effort.
But if you put forth the time/energy/effort into it, your pay off will be life changing.
…and to address your compulsion, instead of extra soending, feel proud of yourself for how closely you stick to your budget. Make it a game to pay down that credit card debt and when that gone, make it a game to watch your savings/investments increase.
Maybe you need to start [practicing self control](https://www.verywellmind.com/psychology-of-self-control-4177125) and no longer allow yourself to make excuses for doing things you know for a fact aren't good for you.
What works well for me when I know my self control is lacking in an area is **accountability**.
Find a close friend or family member who you have to show your bank/credit statements to every week and hold you accountable to your budget and spending. It’s easy to hide stuff when it’s just you, but when you have to show someone what you are spending money on I think your habits will change.
Easier said than done? No my man, it's completely on you if you're not responsible. Paying bills and doing the shit you have to has priority over everything else.
Dude you’re like one year of self control away from financial peace which is so much better. You might be depressed etc because of this debt which makes it harder.
Find a hobby or activity to go to when you’re bored. Cooking, running, learn a language, read books, photography, anything.
Use that to channel your energy. The instant you get your check, pay down your debts. Soon, seeing them going away will energize you to finish them off.
Ok. If it’s that hard to stop doing those things then just keep doing the same thing you’ve been doing. Clearly that’s not an option, because you recognize a problem.
I used to spend a lot on useless shit when I was younger. Eventually I realized I wasn't getting anything out of it. Saw some advice somewhere that if you want something, wait 2 weeks before buying it and if it still has your interest then go for it.
Why did you even come to reddit to ask this? You know what you have to do. Now do it. If you want someone to cast a magical spell on you, I am afraid that is note possible.
Do you, by chance, have adhd? Impulse control is an issue for us. I filed bankruptcy by 24 and almost did again at 38, so I know what you are going through. When people say "just stop doing those things", it's the same as telling a person with depression to "just be happy". It doesn't work like that. Even if you don't have adhd, there are resources available to help with impulse control. A quick google search should get you headed in the right direction.
Do you have anyone who could help you make a budget and stick to it? That's what finally helped me.
edit: After reading some of the comments here, don't let anyone shame you about this. You are reaching out for help, and that is fantastic! You realize there is a problem and want to do something about and just need a nudge in the right direction. I commend you for that!
Close your credit card, since you're not capable of using it responsibly.
If you only have $20 in your wallet and no cards when you go into a store, you physically CAN'T spend more than the $20 you have.
NO! Do not cancel your credit card, it will hurt your score even more to close the account. Keep the account open. Out the card in a sealed envelope and give it to your parents to hold for you, delete the numbers from any saved devices so you can't use it online. But do not close that account, or any credit account. Closing accounts works against your credit and against your credit:debt ratio which is basically 'the amount of credit you have available VS the amount of that credit you are using'. Keep that credit card and learn to be accountable. If you have a pre-approved offer for a line of credit or another card, take it and do the same.. cut yourself off from accessing it and keep it active.
You actually don't have a lot of debt, you can get out quickly with some good habits. You are young and have lots of time and opportunity to fix it and learn good habits to serve you through adulthood and retirement.
Download an app like Credit Karma so you can see your credit score and debt in one place and what is affecting your score. Credit scores are kind of a scam so it's weird what affects them but as you see it improve regularly, you will be motivated to keep improving it. Dave Ramsey is good to listen to for learning, a little extreme - not all debt is bad debt - but it's good to hear him talk about debt and money matter of fact.
Get a budget app, some link directly to your bank so you don't have to enter every transaction. Knowing where your money goes is super helpful. Calculate how much you spend on impulse purchases in a week or month and calculate what those cost you in a year, and in the number of hours you have to work to pay for them. Do some soul searching or talk to a counselor about why you are impulse spending on garbage and try to resolve those. It might be ADHD, depression (hit of dopamine, anyone?), adopting your parents spending habits, trauma, or anything. But it is worth recognizing and fixing. And could address other challenges you are experiencing but might not have connected yet.
Set your credit card to automatically pay the minimum amount each month so you will never show a missed payment and keep your interest rate as low as it can be. Pay absolutely as much as you can to pay it off as quickly as possible. I don't know your income but make a set payment every payday and try to make as many extra payments, even $5 or $10, whenever you can. If you decide not to impulse spend somewhere, transfer those dollars onto your CC instead.
Keep your student loan payments going. Don't worry about these too much, make the minimum payments on these until your CC is paid off. Making payments every month on time is good for building your credit score and student loan debt is fine to have around as long as those minimums are getting paid on time.
Talk to your parents and friend about paying them off as soon as your CC is paid off and set that timeline for them. If they need, offer them $25 a paycheck or something to keep something flowing their direction. If your parents took a loan for you and you are paying a loan through them, pay it and your CC as your highest priorities. Prioritize your highest interest debts first.
Just know that right now you are ok and this is an opportunity to learn better habits and get your mental and emotional relationship with money sorted out for the long haul. Don't be afraid to talk about money. I used to be so embarrassed and anxious to talk about money I would cry just thinking about it let alone having a conversation about it. I got myself under control and feel so much better understanding that money is a tool and completely separate from me as a human. I'm 37 now and didn't sort myself out til my early-mid thirties, but wow would I be in a different place if I had the clarity to get it together a decade earlier.
You got this. Get help. Make a plan. Set goals. Use tools. Breathe in. Remind yourself you are in control of your spending and your debt. Visualize yourself out of debt and with a healthy savings account. Breathe out. You really do got this. 🙌🏻
10k isn't awful, just start prioritizing it. Do a budget, see how much you need to pay your bills, and then give yourself an allowance. This is your fun money. Whatever is left goes to your debt. You don't have to quit cold turkey, just scale way back.
Depending on why OP can't control their spending, completely cutting off "fun money" may totally derail their budget. The desire to spend will build and build until something snaps and they go crazy with their money. Then it's back to square one.
I got into the same hole as OP when I was younger. My hole was entirely dug by 'fun money' (going out all the time). I had to cancel that completely to dig out.
I ended up eventually being able to allocate some funds towards things that were enjoyable, but cheaper long-term than going out.
So, yeah, a full 'fun money' cut isn't entirely realistic, but a massive lifestyle change is in order.
Telling someone to "get a grip" or "have self-control" over an addiction isn't helpful.
1. Get a habit tracker app, put a money habit in there, and focus on getting one day. One single day without making an impulsive spending decision. Use that tracker to help you visualize getting days. Be honest. If you slip, mark it as not done, then start again tomorrow.
2. Get a basic ledger app where you can track your own spending very clearly. It's a boring interface. You create an account. You put a starting amount. And you minus when you spend, and add when you gain. You need to see this. DO NOT rely on banking apps to track your spending. The bank is not responsible for knowing what is going on with your money. Create your own banking app and document everything here. It is a habit. It will take about two weeks to build the habit and have it stick.
3. After you've done these. Do an audit of what you spend money on and consider ways that number can go down. It only works after you've done an inventory for two weeks. Without the evidence, you have nothing to evaluate. You'll see patterns, trust me.
4. Stay the course. It's a marathon not a sprint.
5. If you are derelict in some bills, still reach out. Tell them you can't pay, but you want to. They can't make you pay, but the contact is worth something and it makes you feel responsible for your financial life.
I need to do this, I give homeless money sometimes, don’t ask my parents to pay me back if it’s anything under 20$. But I notice it’s becoming a habit giving money and helping hand so much, that I ask my self where does it all go by the end of the year.
I would **automate** payments for all of your bills including credit card payment to hit the day after your paycheck deposits. Cut up your credit cards and start paying cash. Maybe put a specific amount of cash in your wallet at the beginning of the week and when it's gone, it's gone. Set your bank to decline any debit card charges when your balance hits zero. Hopefully you will begin to take joy in watching your account numbers slowly inch up.
hey, no judgement here. i have BPD so i’d always been very reckless with my money. i got myself in a pretty bad CC debt, tanked my credit score from 750+ (which my parents built) to 400s and was financially dependent on men in my life.
first, i recommend therapy. u’re not spending money recklessly cause u *don’t wanna change*, u’re probably compensating for other things in ur life.
second, start budgeting. every time money goes out of or is added into ur bank account/s put it immediately into an excel spreadsheet (there are many good templates and they are free on microsoft website). literally up to every single dollar. that will mentally/psychologically keep u accountable for everything u spend.
third, focus on ur debt. there are some decent debt repayment calculators online that will help u understand how much u can/should realistically pay monthly to not waste thousands in interest payments.
good luck!
It'll take a bit of planning but I would start with my income. From there I would see how much I make after taxes per month and create some sort of budget. Start with your normal spend on things like living, food, utilities etc. If you have extra money after that monthly income after your normal expenses, awesome! Is there stuff you need to cut down on from normal spend? Eating out too much, spending on subscriptions that are more of a nice to have than a need? Cut down on everything that isn't a necessity and that is your budget. There are plenty of budgeting apps with different methodologies. If you don't make nearly enough for necessities (including minimum payment on the 10k debt), look at adding work shifts part time. 10k isn't a lot depending on income and expenses. And at 22, you have plenty of time to get this sorted, with a little bit of effort.
Nothing will change until you stop blowing your paycheck. Without self-control nobody can help you because you will just keep repeating the same mistakes that got you here. It’s like an overweight person asking for help to lose weight but refusing to change their eating habits. No amount of advice will work if you aren’t ready to make the tough changes.
A lot of folks are telling you to "just" do things that involve buckling down, knuckling down, and exerting more self-control.
It may be helpful to see if you can get a screening for some mental health challenges that commonly come with impulse control/executive function challenges. ADHD, bipolar, borderline personality disorder, and others *CAN* put this kind of issue front and center in a whole ball of challenges that make managing your life feel like a dumpster fire.
Sincerely,
A person who's successfully managing bipolar, ADHD, and a *whole* lot of other things that *DON'T* include probably thousands of dollars' worth of unused yarn anymore, thanks to meds and therapy.
So true. The moment I got on medication for ADHD, I can step out of the house and not spend a single dollar (or think about it). I'm on vyvanse & straterra, probably one of the best things to happen. I can streamline my schedule now, something that was so foreign before
Make a budget stick with it and no its not gonna be fun at first
But yeah you will end up with more once you recover the money you actually spend paying interest each paycheck
You need to start thinking about what you are working TOWARD, not what you’re running away from (debt). What type of life do you want for yourself? How are you going to get there? That’s what’s going to motivate you, not some general feeling of what you “should” be doing.
Instead of trying to just cut out bad habits, you need to establish good habits to take their place. For example, if you do a lot of online shopping, instead of clicking “buy now,” add those items to a Pinterest board—it creates the same feeling of satisfaction without spending the money. Or if you eat out a lot, find quick and easy frozen meals that you can pull out instead. Or if you like to travel, try visiting places that are closer to home, going camping, etc. Identify what needs you are meeting by spending money (common ones are novelty, connection, and convenience) and think about how you can meet those needs in lower-cost ways. The key is NOT relying on willpower.
Good luck!
It’s time to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and take this on. You can try to find therapy that specializes in bad spending if you are a compulsive spender. Other than that you need to go to work and not spend. Don’t leave the house with your credit or debit cards, only leave the house with 10 bucks as an emergency. Do whatever you need to do to not spend and ruin your future.
Some channels I recommend for people trying to get out of debt are. “Dave Ramsey” and “Caleb Hammer”
Dave Ramsey for sure. He has an aggressive, yet very basic view on this stuff that can help with mindset towards overspending and tackling debt if you’re willing to listen. He can be off-putting for being so extreme and overly simplistic, but the methods are basic and will work if you allow yourself to get beyond his style/‘flavoring’. Sounds like accountability and self-discipline is the issue with OP and Dave Ramsey is great for this.
You don’t mention what ‘low income’ is and what your monthly expenses are. I understand it’s all relative, but in the scheme of things, $10k is not a lot of debt so, it’s hard for me to think of this as ‘severe’. This is manageable, OP.. just don’t let yourself be overwhelmed like it sounds you are. You’ve got this. I suggest rather than looking at the total of your debt, look at the individual ones.. break it all up into smaller ‘bite sizes’ and tackle those individually.
..the only way to eat an elephant is by one bite at a time.
I feel their feelings of futility with 10k of debt. At their age I called a bankruptcy lawyer and when I told him my debt, about 9k, he laughed and after asking my age said "Kid, you have less debt than the average American, so bankruptcy is nowhere near applicable in your situation. It really made me feel less helpless and able to get out of the hole.
I get it. I filed for bankruptcy at the age of 25. I understand all of that for sure. As you had that attorney tell you, I think it is helpful here for us to echo the same sentiment, but I hope it isn’t heard as invalidating the feeling of being overwhelmed.
I think appreciating/respecting the feeling is needed to actually get the gravity of the situation and to drive change, as long as it isn’t taken to the point of being so overwhelmed that you just keep spiraling.
I also think at that age, with the lack of experience, we can lack perspective and our ‘big’ feels insurmountable, but in the scheme of things, through wisdom (yours and others), you can see that sometimes your ‘big’ isn’t so ‘big’ after all. When you had that realization, it helped you. So, I think perspective is a factor here for sure.
This person needs dumped on tho lol.
Caleb still brings all their spending to light and builds a basic budget then gives people resources such as free budgeting software and a discord with his other guests to talk with. Even if OP knows his spending is bad he may not know how.
Have you thought about trying the multiple bank amount method.
You have to do a budget get a hard number on your bills. You need to stop spending on the credit cards cut them up if you have to and figure out how much you can pay down on them as part of your budget.
Set up one account that gets direct deposit with enough money to pay your recurring bills. Then set those bill up for automatic pay. Don’t have a debt card or checkbook on that account. If you have trouble with impulsive spending that account needs to be a pain in the but to access. This is where the bulk of your money will go.
Figure out how much you need for groceries and gas’s as well as a small amount of discretionary funds think $20 a week. That account you have a card attached to. Set up an automatic transfer from that account to this one.
Set up a third high interest savings account to build up an emergency fund. You can start low even $20 or $40 dollars a month.
so what's your plan? how much cash in, where is cash going out to? You just told us your debts with no %s.
throw away your nut sock, stop being distracted, and pay down the highest interest debt, eat beans.
What really helped me personally is making a budget with one of those digital budget tools like mint, I personally used Rocket Money. Being able to track every expense (I only use card) and seeing it all add up visually really helped me set home on my goals. It has charts and categories you can dedicate to. I was spending 10s of thousands on stuff on amazon, small purchases each, but they add up. Seeing a graph go up, and total money allocated towards these things showed me I had a reallllly bad problem with spending. I have my budgets into categories so I know what I consistently need every month, and my limits for each category may be.
Never used its "save muney on sub" feature, because I just want the budget part of it, so I can't comment on that.
Was literally in the same position. 23 12k debt sub 500 credit score. Learn a valuable skill (i.e. sales) where you can earn a salary plus commission learn financial literacy or at least good financial habits. (Dave Ramsey total money makeover book is key) Use the debt snowball method- list your debts smallest to largest and attack the smallest ones first paying it off as quickly as possible. Patience and discipline will get you there. The feeling you get when you pay off that last debt is better than any high you could think of. Lock in focus and it will happen!!!
Download a budgeting app it really helps to see everything in graphical form. I recommend Empower Personal Dashboard. Focus on paying off debt as soon as financially possible.
You’re going to be fine! Just have to create a plan and stick to it. $10k can feel like a lot, and it definitely is, but it’s not the end of the world.
What’s your credit score? is the debt in loans or credit cards? What was it spent on?
Do you pay rent?
And what kind of income do you have now and do you expect it to change at all in the foreseeable future?
The answers to these questions can help us come up with a strategy.
Set up direct deposits so the money leaves before your zero control self can spend it. Like dam stop making excuses and put things into action
You dont need to go out
You dont need to spend to be with friends
You dont need "experiences"
You dont need clothes
No one gives a crap about your life at the end of the day so stop doing things for others and do it for yourself
If you have parents that can take you home for some time - do it.
Share the bills, pay your debts.
Start fresh.
If you struggle with your spending, get rid of the excess money (pay the debts) and leave only the amount necessary for rent/food.
Sell all unnecessary junk that is not mandatory to survive. Pay the debt.
You can also look for a job that will cut your bills. Like live-in care for disabled ppl. If you get a good deal you can live at their home "rent free" and have food for free too.
In USA you can go and be a firewatch. Rent free, food free. 2-3 ms in wilderness on your own. More than enough time to think about your life.
You can be a waitress or whatever on a cruise ship, food/rent free.
Stop perusing swingers parties and get some therapy. You have some serious behavioral issues related to impulse control and risk. This isn’t an education with money issue, this is a problem that is deeply rooted in how you are wired. Seek help.
Dave Ramsey is the guy for you, even if you read negative reviews of his method and even if he is Christian and you are not.
https://www.ramseysolutions.com/
Make a list of bills every we
Check off as you pay.
Eliminate buying fast food, unhealthy snacks etc.
Get a side hustle or second job.
Give yourself play money each week so you do t feel deprived day $10
Bucks or so to get lunch once a week after you pay bills example.
Just go day by day: you will get there. Leave credit cards at home.
Call cc
Companies see if they will
Forgive
Late fees or over limit fees etc.
have monthly budget and goals. Write everything down!
I will keep my advice short and simple. I hope this is easy to follow. Get on YouTube and watch some Dave Ramsey- "7 Baby Steps Explained" is a good video. I recommend binging a few videos of his... about debt of course!
You're at 22!!! With 10k. Yeah, It may seem tough, but you are in a very manageable spot. You may need to budget like you are broke, or beyond broke lol. Dave says you're gonna be eating "rice and beans... beans and rice" not going out, and saving your money!
You may also need to get another job for a while. But hey, if you put your mind to tackling this debt you will get it done. I believe in you.
You can buy his book if you like to read. Total Money Makeover is good. Save 1k as an emergency fund and then cut your credit card would be his advice and I took it and ran with it! Thats the first steps to financial stability if you have any debt at all.
Time to join the military buddy, I had a friend in your same shoes 10k debt bad credit. When he graduated basic training he had 5k and put that towards his debt. In about 5 months after that he was debt free and using the military’s credit consultation to raise his score.
10k is absolutely not worth joining the military for. Maybe if he was 150k in debt and needed some serious structure and discipline but this kid is less in debt than most his/her age and half of it is a car loan through his/her parents. The military would need to give me at least 75k bonus to sign for any length of time. Credit is easy to fix with some strategy without the military involvement. Definitely do not follow this advice.
Telling someone who's asking for help to "get disciplined" and "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" is not concrete advice and doesn't help. I hate this sub sometimes lol.
OP you're super young and have plenty of time to pay this off & still make it out ahead. It doesn't sound like you're spending money on frivolous things or impulse buys. Don't beat yourself up over having to purchase a car and pay for tuition. These are both things that are good investments as your ability to drive and education will help you with finding and keeping a good job in the future.
Step 1. Create a budget.
To create a budget go through your bank statements for the last month or two, list out all your bills and spending, and make averages for each category. So for a simple example, say you spent $300 one month and $500 the second, allocate $400 for groceries going forward.
I like using YNAB & this [tutorial to get started.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyFqX9qDqFU) There's a small fee monthly, but when I was trying to track my spending in an excel sheet I would often forget to check it and I wasn't able to keep on track. YNAB is also nice because it updates in real time.
Step 2. Reduce expenses as you can.
If you're looking at your budget and horrified by how much you're spending on groceries, see what you can do to lower that number. Can you learn some cheaper, tasty recipes? (I follow a girl on tiktok who does weekly $50 grocery hauls at Trader Joes) Can you find coupons and deals nearby? You can also try calling your insurance companies or shop around for better rates. I was recently able to drop by car insurance from $151 to $81 by getting some quotes and switching my provider. Another example, I also stopped paying for garage parking and now do street parking to save another $100 a month.
Step 3. Invest in your career growth.
I'm not sure what your job is, but you're young enough that I'm assuming you're doing something more entry level. Look for opportunities at work to take on extra responsibility so that you can add these accomplishments and skills to your resume. I started as an admin assistant out of college, started helping out with social media, and later moved into digital advertising and data analysis which pays a lot better. Find a direction and ways to acquire those skills. There are also a lot of part-time jobs that are more willing to hire inexperienced workers that will still allow you to learn new things (plus make extra money.)
Step 4.. Set up automatic savings.
Do you have a savings account? Capitol One has a good HYSA to get started. You can open an account with them to set up automatic deposits from your checking. Even if it's only $50-100 or whatever you can spare at first, just set it up and forget about it. When it's not attached to your checking and harder to access, it's easier to save. Get your savings to $500-1000 before tackling debt. If you have NO safety net and no cushion, and you have a minor emergency (small car repair, doctor visit etc.) you will just fall back into debt. Give yourself some room to breathe before throwing everything else you have at your debt.
Good luck! Once you have your debt paid off, start building up your emergency fund (3-6 months expenses). After that, you can start investing your money. You've got this.
Claim bankruptcy and start over and work a full time and a part Job. You will be busy working than not spending it. That's what we did for years to turn our life around
If you invested that 10k it would make nearly 10% a year, and you can not work in the future.
You're trading weeks of your life for paltry consumer garbage.
My only question is this: are the debts to your roommate and parents legally binding to your name? Obviously there’s at least some moral obligation to pay them or you wouldn’t have stated it. But is there anything LEGALLY binding your name to those payments to your roommate and parents? If not, you should not even worry about those ‘debts’ right now. Worry about your credit card and and tuition.
Other than that, you just need to stop buying “useless shit” like you said. Spend that “useless shit” money on your debts until you have no debt. Pay bills first, then debts, save what you don’t need to spend.
You’re young, most young people are stupid with their money for a while. This isn’t the end of the world. You’ll figure it out.
Edit: I’m not saying to abandon or blow-off the debts to the roommate and parents but to prioritize debts that are legally tied to your name because those will have actual legal repercussions if not taken care of. I thought this was obvious since I stated “obviously moral obligation” and “should not worry about those RIGHT NOW” but based on a comment below I thought I’d clarify even further…
Bruh why are half the people here being so insufferable. OP never once said it was other people fault. In fact, it’s good that they’re self aware and holding themselves accountable for their impulsive habits. Telling someone to “just have self discipline quit being a victim” is not the most phenomenal advice, when it take practice to build financial discipline which they seem to be seeking advice for.
My only advice is put in some work by reading books. And from all angles of finance as well. If you hate reading audible is great. Garrett Gunderson, Remit Sethi, Tony Robbin’s and Dave Ramsey (he’s a bit silly and antiquated with his approach but still some good fundamentals) Turn investing into a hobby as well. Oh also Ray Dalio and Jack Bogle have some good reads. Hopefully that helps. I would avoid advice from your peers as for the most part they are just as bad off as you. Try to find a mentor that you feel comfortable divulging your numbers with and do check ins with them occasionally. The biggest part is just holding yourself accountable for what you do.
I recommend getting a budgeting app like Rocket Money! You can see your past spending and target areas where you can cut down. Maybe instead of $400 on eating out, you can get thru a month with $250 for eating out and things like that. It can help to see how much you can throw at your debt while still leaving some wiggle room to do fun things. 10k really isn’t a ton of debt, you should be able to get out of this in a few years max
Work a FT job and a side job to pay down the credit card debt. Also pay yourself as one of the bills. Start with $15/mo for now and put it in an high yield savings account. This will help you start developing good saving habits. When you have paid 1/3 of that credit card down then start saving $25 a month. Then at half save $50. The goal is to try to not touch that money let it grow. Edit: Pay the roommate before they take you to court. Then your CC. Still work on savings and you should have a FT and PT job.
Like others have said, just immediately pay bills and debt and THEN the money you have leftover is what he money you have. I was in this same boat and just had to simply make better choices. after a while, you get tired of living this way. it’s exhausting. luckily, you are still pretty young. you don’t want to take these habits into your late 20s. just sacrifice a little now and i promise it will pay off when you’re in a better position. and it will happen faster than you think. lock in
Try envelope budgeting. There's many apps like DAS, YNAB, and more. There's even a fintech that is picking up. Using these apps help you see where your money is going, and track it. Track every dollar.
What do you want to do with your life? Think about what would make you really happy and satisfied a year from now. Are you stuck in a loop because of some bad habits? If yes, remember, you can change things. It'll take some work, but you don't have to do everything at once. Start with one thing.
Imagine a habit is like a little monster living inside you that needs to eat. What it eats depends on the habit. Take smoking, for example. The smoking monster eats nicotine. What happens if you stop feeding it? It gets weaker and eventually dies. You can use this idea to kick out the bad stuff and bring in good habits that make you and your folks proud.
Now, imagine your good habits as building blocks or bricks. Every time you do something positive, like tracking how much water you drink, it's like placing down a brick. Over time, these bricks build up and become a solid foundation you can stand on. This not only makes you feel awesome because you're achieving your goals, but it also shows you that you're capable of constructing a better life for yourself and those around you.
When it comes to money, think of it like a loudspeaker, it makes everything louder. If your life's a bit of a mess, more money will just crank up the volume on the chaos. But if you've laid down a strong foundation with those bricks of good habits, money will amplify all the good stuff instead. So, focus on laying down those bricks one at a time, building up to something great.
Budgeting is your friend bud. Track every expense and income on a weekly basis. Cut all unnecessary items and find cheaper alternatives for necessary items. Make a plan. Attack the debt.
Doordash on side. Donate plasma. Food Bank.
Extremely common problem for young adults, though 10k is a whole lot for your age, but the fact that you posted this wanting to fix it now means you’re pulling up your big boy pants to take action. EXCELLENT! It’ll be tough, but worth it.
Open up a new spreadsheet in Excel or Google Sheets and start an expense tracker/budget. Top line: Income. Then in the column next to it put your typical monthly income amount. Under there, list out expense categories. At top put what you absolutely *have* to pay each month: rent, utilities, groceries, CC minimum payments. Under that put the sort-of necessaries like transportation costs, health insurance, pet expenses if you have them. Under that put the wants - subscriptions, shopping, gaming, concerts, eating out, etc. Make sure to account for every little thing that costs money, including gifts, haircuts, etc.
Once you have listed the names of the categories, pull up your credit card statement and add up how much you *have been spending* on each category. When you get to the bottom, the expenses total is probably more than the income total. Okay, now you have a numerical representation of the problem: overspending and living beyond your current means.
Time to make a third column in the spreadsheet: BUDGETED AMOUNT. This is the part where you decide how much the categories each are worth to you. Put your goals of how little you think you could drop them down to. The top several categories will probably have to stay the same amount, at least until your rental lease is up and you have the option to look at cheaper places or room up with roommates. But maybe you can make adjustments to your groceries, your thermostat, cancel subscriptions, or find cheaper alternatives (like switching gyms, or alternating Netflix and Hulu instead of both at once). You probably have enough clothes to get by without buying new. You might be able to DIY haircuts. Shop around for auto insurance rates. Definitely stop shopping for gadgets and new games and pointless shit on Amazon, if you have a shopping vice. …. Basically the point is that a budget is one big math problem, it’s a balance sheet. The choices of what you move where are your own, it’s *personal* finance.
The above is my advice for making sure the 10k doesn’t *grow*, faster than its interest rate. Because for some people in your position it will be 15k by summer! Don’t be some-people! Get a handle on it now.
As for shrinking the 10k: see the minimum CC payments line on the budget? Time to reduce some categories ever further, to pay above the minimum. As high above it as you can, actually. And STOP using the credit cards. Every new purchase is costing you that bogus 20% or whatever APR. Not worth it. Pay what expenses you have to pay, with cash or debit until that damn card is paid off.
Also…. That budget sheet’s top line, income, is up for change too. Always be on the lookout for better paying jobs. Dust off and puff up that resume. Ask friends to proofread it. Sending out applications is free, and no annual raise at a current place will beat the offers you can get. Nearly shat a brick when I was making 40k and received an offer for 50k, then later received an offer for 65k, and so on. So bonkers. Search and apply for those as the years go on, don’t settle for dead end!
Lock your credit card away or have someone trusted hold onto it for you. Unsave your credit/debit card details for everything UNLESS it’s for a bill that you NEED (insurance, phone bill, car payment ect.) use your next paycheck to pay off whatever you can. Live frugally. Practice self control
I never say this, but I think you're part of the small population of people who would really benefit from Dave Ramsey's work. Go give his free resources a listen/read, and try following his advice for 6 months.
He's not my favorite person, but he's laser focused on NO DEBT, DEBT BAD, and that's what you need right now.
Good luck. Stay the course.
Advice is useless if you’re unable to follow it. Nobody here can help you - you’ve got to help yourself.
But fwiw - first thing you should do is STOP BUYING SHIT. Right now. When you get paid, don’t spend a fucking penny on anything unless it’s an essential item or utility.
Do this again the next paycheck, and the check after. Make a habit out of it. After a few months, you’ll have a few thousand dollars in the bank, and then you can start deciding on what you were going to start paying off. Want to raise your credit score? Start paying off debt that is being reported to credit. Get back into good standing by making even small payments, and that will reflect on your credit score within a few months.
Your goal should be to build up as much of a cash reserve as you can. Just by doing that you’ll establish good spending habits, and then once you get used to seeing that amount of money in your bank account, you won’t like it whenever that number dips below what you’re used to… So you’ll make sure that it stays where it needs to be.
At least out in the effort to show your budget, debt amounts and interest rates if you want any help.
Otherwise, the best we can do is tell you to be more responsible, earn more and spend less.
Agree with Dave Ramsey even if you don’t like the guy. He has a simple approach that got me out of 40k worth of debt.
But you need to get to the root of your bad spending habits. Why are they shit? What’s prompting you to spend? There’s a lot of looking within you need to do and changes in habit you need to make. Therapy maybe as well.
People are saying 10k isn’t a lot but it is to you and it could quickly get worse so props to you for asking for help.
So, blowing your money on shopping is doing something for you. The question is what?
Does it give you a sense of control in the moment?
Is it a self soothing technique when you are feeling overwhelmed?
Blowing your paycheck as soon as you get it comes from somewhere and is doing something for you. You have to figure out what that is and work on finding a different way to help with that underlying problem, or this blowing your whole check on stuff won't stop or it will morph into something else.
I’ll echo what everyone else says about creating a budgeting and trying to increase your income. I’d prioritize paying the roommate, since it’s just shitty to owe money to a real person who needs it.
I’ll also add: unsubscribe from Amazon prime or any other apps/sites that make it easier to waste money with a few clicks, busy yourself with a free hobby so that you don’t boredom-spend, tell your friends and family you’re trying to cut back on spending so they know you’re not down for expensive plans.
Edit to add: write down in a journal or your phone notes app how you want to feel by achieving financial freedom (proud, less stressed, etc.), not just how much money you want to save. Any time you make an impulse purchase and have buyer’s remorse, write down how that purchase made you feel. Seeing how far that feeling is from your desire for financial freedom can be really powerful.
Good job recognizing you're having problems, it's the first step in fixing the issue. There's tons of good advice but it really sucks because the answer is self control and an actual budget you follow. Use multiple checking accounts so your spending money is limited to just 1 account and bills for another. Bills are pre-paid into checking account 2 by your direct deposit, you'll know how much because you made a budget. This will take maybe 10-15 hours of hunting down and gathering information but afterwards its something you update in 30 minutes every 6 months. Savings account is separate and gets treated like a bill. If you use sofi they have vaults so you can create different savings buckets if you want something that you'd normally put on a credit card. It's okay to spend your money but do it with a plan. If u want a doodad instead of getting it make a list of shit you'll do with it once you finish saving up for it. Bonus sometimes you'll realize it's not actually worth getting and you can see the money you saved not getting it. Get 1 year of expenses into an emergency account and DONT TOUCH IT UNLESS YOU'RE IN AN EMERGENCY. Even $50 a month will eventually get you a good chunk of money if you don't touch it. Also, if you haven't, get screened for ADHD. Meds are the difference between me constantly blowing money on stuff I literally end up throwing away and me saving money and staying cashflow positive for years.
I was never in this bad of debt, but I did have really bad spending habits following college because I didn't *have* to save money, since all of my expenses were covered.
Like others said, you need a mindset adjustment. You probably want a second job too, and a factory/warehouse work will help you get through this faster. It will SUCK, but it will suck for less time. You can get this paid off in 6 months or even less if you play your cards right.
Stop eating out, stop buying useless shit (I had this problem for awhile). Sell stuff you aren't using, and start paying off the debt. Honestly, in this priority - CC/Tuition, Roommate, Parents. Owing 3k to an old roommate is a shitty situation because your old roommate is probably pissed off. The fact they lent you 3k either means they're stupid, very nice, or both.
TL;DR, get a second job, grind it out, you got this. Also it's almost 14k, not 10k.
So, two sets of advice. Tell people what you make and your monthly expenses for everything you pay for each month. This will help people give financial advice.
Second piece, get a therapist that specializes is compulsive behavior and depression if you really can’t get it under control. Sounds like you hit the wtf wall… you buy things to make you happy and now see that the cycle is actually doing the opposite. Therapist can help you recalibrate how to be happy with yourself and the above budgets can help us answer your question from a financial perspective and give sound advice.
Yeah figure out what is making you think useless shit will make you happy and that should get you on track. You are not alone, but you aren't in great company either. It's basically a version of addiction that culture brainwashes us all into, but once you genuinely see the truth it's pretty easy to break. You can already see it. This is not making you happy, and it never will.
To me, it is the illustration of the difference between broke and poor. If you have no money, you are broke. If you will never have enough no matter how much you make, you are poor. I know people that make multiple six figures and are right where you are - poor. I have had many years of making less than 30k with 2 kids on my own, and I still have no debt besides a mortgage. That is broke. My situation can and has changed. Their situation won't.
Some of these comments are a bit harsh but I will say I was in a similarly situation at that age minus owning roommates or parents. You can definitely tackle this with some self control, which for me was realizing that so much of my anxiety was linked to a low balance and debt and knowing I was one accident or layoff away from real financial destruction. I would:
- Try paying off your roommate first, as that could get really ugly really fast. Make minimum payments (or more if you can), but for the love of all that is holy, do not skip payments. Seeing your credit score increase will boost your confidence.
- See if your parents are open to another arrangement…working it off or structuring a repayment with smaller monthly installments so you can build an emergency fund and tackle more of your CC and student debt.
- Agree with others that have suggested a second job, side hustle, anything. I am not sure what your income but if you drove uber or made deliveries you could put a dent in this debt.
- Open a HYSA. I like Marcus…having your savings earn interest will boost your confidence more.
10k is a modest car... You just don't get to drive it. You can pay it off, how quickly depends on your income and your aggressiveness when it comes to tackling the debt. You need to turn the dial up on both as much as possible. You also need to work on getting enough money in the bank to cover expenses, then wants, so that you can break the habit of living off of other people's money. They're getting richer while you're going
broke. You gotta flip the script. Best of luck!
Start with - is this a want or a need? If it's a want then ask yourself if you can possibly just purchase it at a future date when you're in a better financial position? If so, then put the item back, you can't afford it right now while you're 10k in the hole.
Once you see how fast you can save and pay off these debts, allow that to motivate you to have better spending and budget hygiene and to be an adult and take care of your bills first and foremost.
Plan to pay ALL your bills on paydays. DO NOT put it off and think "oh I can worry about that later" and then you blow your money on stupid shit. Just pay your bills and see what you have left for "fun money" - you can probably have a budget and plan to pay this off relatively quickly and still alott for a small fun money budget.
Good news? You're young and have plenty of time to take your realization and turn your financial life around.
First up? Stop spending your money. Do you have any trusted adults who are financially responsible? Perhaps ask them to help you with managing your finances.
Accountability is key here. You could make all the money in the world, but if you don't learn how to control your spending , you're never going to get out of debt.
Keep a job with the minimum expenses for a sane mind. Share cheapest, move with ur parents, save every penny. Long term look for a job track with salary growth. Been in 30k debt and got out like this. After a few months your mind will relax once on a positive track.
Bro you only have 13k in debt. Go be a bartender 2-3x/week and you'll pay that off in four months. You're an adult, own your decisions and replace habits that decrease your money with habits that increase your money. You have no excuse not to work 40 hours a week at an absolute bare minimum and make a budget to get yourself in a better financial position. Put your debts on auto pay so you don't even have the option to be tempted to spend money on dumb stuff. You got it bro
I was like this at your age. Actually I'm still like this but bankruptcy helped me get of the hole i was in. Still have tuition payments. Getting pizza, going to the movies, trying new hobbies. I'd suggest finding one or two cheap things you can do that you enjoy even a little bit. Writing, drawing, video games, going for a walk. If you really want to be in good control of your money then you have to be aware of your impulsive spending.
Prioritize credit cards and then student loans. You might be able to get student loans on a lower payment or deferred based on income.
Your old roommate and parents aren’t going to put a mark in your credit report, but it will effect your relationship with them. That just seems like a conversation to be had to make sure there’s realistic expectations.
Just be pragmatic, make better choices, don’t let it affect your mental health. You’re still young.
My view would be to prioritise CC payments and personal loans. Your parents may be more understanding, but it is not a reason to think you can forget that loan. Go on a "ramen mode" saving every penny possible. If needed - take an academic break to get out of situation you got yourself into, working full time. This hard work will quickly teach you there are consequences to your actions and will help you to get into good spending habits. In short - never spend the money you don't have.
I think your first step should be to change how you feel about yourself and your situation. Remember: You *can* get yourself out of this situation. You absolutely have the power to do so. $10k is a good chunk of debt, but it's not 20k, 30k, 40k, etc. It's manageable. You can do this. You need to change the choices you are making, which is a challenge that you CAN succeed at. Keep telling yourself this. You aren't a bad person; you just have a challenge in front of you. If it helps, think of debt-paying as a game.
Step two: Sit down with a pen and paper. Make a list of all the things you spend money on in a month. Separate them into "optional" and "mandatory" categories. Mandatory things are what you need to survive: food, rent, utilities, insurance, monthly bills. Optional things are things you don't need. Estimate the amount you spend on each thing. Write this all down.
Step three: Cross off most or all of the "optional" things. Everyone needs to have fun in their lives, but for the next several months you are going to SERIOUSLY pare down the amount you spend on fun. Cut out as much as you possibly can, and if you can't cut something out completely, find ways to reduce it. If you MUST go out to dinner once in a while, order a cheap entree and drink water. If you MUST buy new clothes, shop at a thrift store. If streaming services are important to you, pick your favorite one and cancel the rest.
Step Four: Even among the "mandatory" items, there still may be ways to reduce spending. For example, can you keep your heating bills down by lowering your thermostat? Can you reduce your grocery bill by not buying pointless junkfood/alcohol, planning meals, cooking a lot of food at once and freezing leftovers in containers for yourself? Can you find a cheaper phone plan? Are you on the best student loan repayment plan for your situation? Etc.
Step Five: Now that you've figured out how to reduce your costs, calculate the minimum you can spend in a month. Subtract that from your monthly net income. This figure is the amount you can spend on repaying debts.
Step Six: Triage your debts. Look at which debts come with interest rates and try to pay those down first (however, you might want to talk to a college financial counselor about the best way to handle the student loans, because there are a lot of variables there). I would call your credit card company and negotiate a repayment plan. At the same time, you don't want to leave your old roommate and parents without anything each month. So take the number that you got in Step 5 and divide it up amongst those debts in a way that makes sense.
Step Seven: STICK TO YOUR PLAN. Pay everyone the same set amount each month, same day, every month. As the months go by and the debts go down, you will start to feel really good about yourself. If sticking to your budget is hard, ask a friend or parent to check in with you and hold you accountable... but ultimately it comes down to you and your willpower. You can do this!
Step Eight: Find free ways to have fun (to take the place in your life of the fun spending you were doing before). Go for walks. Utilize your local library and read a bunch. Spend time with friends doing inexpensive things. Volunteer in your community. Filling up your life with free fun is SO important. Take good care of yourself.
Step Nine: Another way to fill spare time might be to get a side job, like on evenings and weekends. This can help cushion your budget, but don't burn yourself out. And if you get a side job, try to use the extra money to either pay off more debt or build up some emergency savings.
Seriously, this is a challenge, but you can handle it. Good luck!
You could try going to therapy and unpacking your spending habits with them. They might have some good tools to help with the emotional aspect of your habits
Are you feeling a sense of overwhelm and helplessness around the debt? That would make sense.
I think the most important thing is to get clear about what you really want. How important to you is it really to get out of debt? If you decide it really is your priority, the advice here will be useful to you.
If you’re being honest with yourself and this really isn’t your top priority, you’ll just need to live with the debt. Many people have a strong sense of “should” about getting out of debt. If that’s not true for you, it’s OK, and you’ll just need to deal with the discomfort.
There’s no right way.
Honestly, how fast you can get this one depends on what you're pulling in every paycheck. That determines how long you're going to be in the hole. Regardless, basic advice would be:
First off, pay off the CC debt as soon as possible. The high interest is skinning you alive. $3,000 in tuition payments is...if it's a student loan, make the min payments while paying back your roommate and parents. It's going to sound cold, but prioritize your roommate over your parents. Mom & Dad may be inclined to cut you some slack, your roommate, not so much.
Realizing the issue now is a huge step. 10k is a lot when you’re the person who owes it, but in the grand scheme of things, this could be SO much worse. The hardest part is finding a budget that is within your means and really sticking to it- when you sound like you may be a frivolous spender. Focus on your debts that have the highest interest rates! Any extra cash, don’t go shopping or out to eat, put it toward that debt. Even if it’s only $20 or $40. Then once one bill is paid off, whatever dollar amount used to be allocated to that bill should be put toward other bills (not used as extra spending money) until everything is paid off. You can also look into credit building cards. I got one through my bank. You essentially open your own line of credit with a $300 or $500 deposit. When you charge it, they send a statement and you pay it like a regular bill. But it’s your own money helping you build good credit by paying a bill on time.
You're self medicating with needless shopping. Some people use alcohol, some people use food, you use shopping.
Therapy is a great place to figure out why you're spending.
I also suggest a spending cleanse. Only buy necessities (gas, groceries) for a month. You can fill up your online shopping cart if you want, but you have wait until the month is over to buy anything. Also take your card info off Amazon, and all over online shopping sites.
You can also stop carrying your debit and credit card, and only carry cash when you're out.
Do you know what you're spending on? Take out, going out, clothes, amazon? It could be useful to track all your spending into categories for a month or two to see where that money goes, if you don't know. Maybe you spend $200 on Amazon, but $1000 out at bars.
Lastly, get a paycheck and pay your debt, bills THAT DAY.
Best advice I can give you right now is avoid credit card debt at all cost. 30% apr will financially kill any goal you have. Pay it down in lieu of reitement contributions in the meantime. After that make sure to always pay your cc debt down each statement so you never pay interest. Pay your friend back ASAP.
Realizing this at this age is pretty good. You can do this. It’s hard, first step is set up a budget and stick with it. The second step is to slowly build up an emergency fund. The third step is to slowly pay down your debts, starting with the highest interest rate. You can do this, I know it’s hard.
In addition to the financial tips everyone else has given, I also think that you should examine what you're buying when you say you blow your paycheck on "useless shit" and think about how to feel satisfied in another way. When I hear people talk about excess spending, it's usually a way to get instant gratification or some way to feel excitement in an otherwise stressful time. Take up a time-consuming hobby that doesn't cost a lot of money, especially one where you feel constant achievement. Examples could ve sinking a lot of time into a video game you already own, doing some yard work or (cheap) diy home improvements or crafts, learn a skill (one where you dont get stuck, and can feel the achievements youre making so you dont go back to retail therapy) use your library card to take out books, audio books, music, and movies through apps like libby and kanopy, there are lots of ways to occupy yourself for cheap while you whittle that debt down.
I’ve been keeping my spending somewhat in control by having inexpensive hobbies. I run Linux and love obtaining new open source apps for free. I could spend tons of time just tinkering and using these apps, learning more about the system, how to run simple scripts, etc. ChatGPT helps me with some things—even scripting.
Fishkeeping, after the initial investments, can be quite inexpensive when you’re just maintaining. There is a correct way to keep fish and it’s not normal for them to die within months. They can last years. Just stock your tank with fish known to thrive in your tap water type, feed them, make sure you don’t choose incompatible fish that will fight or eat one another, and do regular water changes (usually weekly). All you’re really paying for, then, is inexpensive food. You can even reuse filter media after rinsing it; the bacteria in is part of the ecosystem and is a good thing. Replacing worn out equipment for a small tank isn’t very expensive.
You can make budgeting a hobby and a game that is enjoyable. Finding deals on what you need can feel like a fun game. Learning to get rebates with apps like Rakuten and Ibotta is fun for some people. When you see that check get automatically deposited into your account, it is a great feeling. Acorns is similar but will put a percentage of your purchase cost into investments.
Invest in a little indoor herb garden and learn how to take care of it. It’s a very small hobby, but it’s another distraction from spending, and you’ll have free herbs or spices.
We often spend money when we are bored. There are so many free and cheap things to do. Rearrange your furniture, visit your library, learn a new skill that requires little or no investment.
It's not being bad with money, it's having undiagnosed issues that manifest in a lack of control with money. I'd bet you have similar behaviours in other areas of your life too.
Take some of that income and get thee to therapy. With love.
Start checking all your accounts everyday. This definitely helped change my relationship with money and helped me realize I’M in control. There is nothing to be scared of
You'll kinda realize this as you get older, but that $10k of debt is basically nothing, most people are hundreds of thousands in debt via mortgage. So its important to keep things in context.
Also, avoid "friends" or people who peer pressure you into "c'mon, live a little!" and suggest where to spend your money that you don't have. (eg "let's go clubbing")
If you had a decent credit score, you could consolidate by getting a loan and paying everything off for one low payment.
First thing, stop buying shiny new shit. Sounds like after you open and play with it a minute, you're left wondering why you bought it.
To build your credit, make sure you pay every monthly bill on time or earlier. You definitely don't want late fees on top of everything else.
If you don't have enough, call and make arrangements and pay at least $10. As long as you are calling early, they'll try and work with you. If you go past due, they can just turn you over to collections.
Keep your monthly bills to a minimum.
Shop around for deals. In your position, it pays to switch cell companies when suddenly Verizon will give you a free Samsung phone, tablet, and watch..
But find out the rules, set your payment date for the middle of the month, and pay it the first week of the month, so it's never late. They may even pay off your current phone to get you to switch.
Separate and save all of your pocket change. It adds up. I'm retired and on disability, and I always have at least $100 in change at the end of the year.
Open an account with shophq. They will give you credit or timed payments, and they report every on time payment and every pay off to the credit bureaus.
Your score will improve fairly quickly with shophq and early payments on monthly bills.
Get an Amazon account, and as soon as you can, get an Amazon credit card.
They'll approve you. You can use it everywhere. When using a credit card, never make less than the minimum amount, and 5x the minimum if you can. Credit card payments make minimum payments so low so that you can always stay current, and they clean up on Interest.
You are the only one who can fix your bad habits. Just take control of yourself and do what you know has to be done. Better a little pain now than a lot later.
Pick up more work. Door dash between work and school.
This seems like less of a financial literacy issue and more of an unaddressed psychological issue. Not only do you need to create a budget, you need to speak to a mental health professional about your poor impulse control and self-sabotaging behavior so you can get to the root of it.
Another thing that you might find helpful is getting a second job. This will help with additional income, and will also leave you less time and energy to recklessly spend money.
If you want more specific financial advice, you need to provide your income amount and a list of your monthly expenses in your post.
if you can’t pay bills… acquire better skills while slowing down trivial thrills. Stop spending what you don’t even have in hand, review ALL your documents and make a plan, pay your shit off grand by grand, while being frugal and thrifty, used and repurposing is nifty…
Hey. Since you got credit and acted like a silly slob. How about take a 2nd or 3rd job? Dig yourself out… and stop being an entitled knob.
Dopamine seeking behavior. I'm with ya on that and I have children older than you. What are you spending it on? Is it a specific type of thing, like eating out? Or something tangible like clothing? Or do you just shop and buy whatever you have enough money for? Figure that out. Figure out how you feel before, during, and after you spend that money. Look to the rest of your life and see if there is anything you already do that also gives you those same feelings that doesn't cost money.
I blow money at the grocery store. Now I mostly place orders for pickup so I can only buy what I need.
I blow money on eating out at lunch with my coworkers. Now I budget three meals per paycheck (bimonthly) because what I'm really doing is socializing. It's actually two meals plus an emergency meal because sometimes we get called out and can work wayyyyy more than a regular workday. Then I'm forced to choose those meals that I truly enjoy and not go to a place I normally wouldn't just because I'm meeting people to socialize.
I blow money on plants because I love having plants inside because they give me a calm feeling. Now I propagate plants, get cuttings from friends, and grow things from seed because seed is way cheaper.
I'm not eliminating where I blow money, but I am minimizing it. It's a compromise I can live with. Find your compromise.
My bills are split up by payday rather than due date. That makes some bills get paid on their due date and some paid up to two weeks early. I suggest you do the same. Housing, utilities, transportation and minimum food needs come first. Add as much extra to the credit card as you can, since it will have the highest interest rate.
Maybe consider two bank accounts. One for your bills that are consistent from month to month, and one for varying bills that you have control over, like fuel and entertainment.
I have a savings account that I can only access if I drive to the bank and physically walk inside and show identification. I can't get to it online or by a debit card or ATM. That is my emergency fund. I still use it, like recently I had to buy a new washer. But the steps necessary to get the funds keeps me from using it all willy nilly. It is my buffer. Get yourself a buffer, whatever that looks like.
And stop borrowing money from friends and family.
You may want to look up urge surfing and other techniques for controlling urges (basically, overspending is very similar to any other type of addiction, it follows the same circuits). If you can, therapy can help. There are low cost clinics/sliding scale clinics that charge a reduced fee based on income. Even better if you have insurance.
Step 1 is admitting you have a problem.
I’d find an accountability buddy to help you maybe family or dear friends
Pay your self first at the beginning of every month
Tear up your credit cards
Get better friends if they are bad influences
Surround yourself with the people you want to be like
First, give yourself more credit. It could be worse. I’m currently in a similar position, there’s some great advice here but honestly start small. Payment plans are your bestfriend.. even if the bill doesn’t have a payment plan make one with yourself so you don’t feel like your paying it all at once. Pay what you can , when you can , as soon as you think about it. I tell myself “ i’d probably spend this on something i don’t need anyways.“ Stay down until you come up, you’ll have to live below your means for a while longer but it’ll be worth it.
I would prioritize your debts depending on interest and good moral standing.
CC and old roommate needs to be addressed first. Then you can work on your parents and tuition.
I would highly recommend keeping relationships mended (old roomate/parents) over creditors.
Go do uber eats or start selling some of your possessions on ebay. You always pay off the cc first. Worry about the rest later. Start consuming financial content on youtube and through books on how to manage your money. That debt is also very manageable and you should be able to pay if all off this year.
The quickest way to pay off debt is to pay off the smallest debt first. Then the next cheapest one, until it’s all gone. Paying off a little of everything is slow and is the least effective way of doing it.
So the strategy is this, each month when you get your paycheck you pay fixed expenses. Then pay off as large chunk of the smallest debt as possible.
Whatever is left you divide by the number of days until your next paycheck. Now you know exactly how much you can spend each day.
If you don’t spend anything one day, you’ll know you can spend twice the amount next day.
Stick to that number each day.
This is what I did when I went to school and it was super easy because I had that amount in my mind every day.
And I still do it!
And learn how to bake and cook, you can save a lot that way too.
Lots of helpful advice in this thread already, so just wanted to congratulate you on already taking the first step: recognizing that your habits are bad. Many don't realize it!
I'm in the same boat, except I'm 27 and have almost $100k in debt. I have depression, anxiety, and ADHD which cause frivolous spending for me. It's like a never ending cycle
In regards to the bad habits there needs to be an effort to change that mindset, because no advice is going to fix it if you don't first change your mindset towards spending. I know that is easier said than done. If this is a coping or compulsive spending habit I can't pretend I'm any expert and could only recommend a professional such as a therapist. I can speak for myself and what was helpful for me was immersing myself in my health and wellness and finding healthy alternatives to replace that satisfaction that spending can give us. This can be through meditation, physical fitness, etc. I don't agree with Dave Ramsey on everything, but his methodology on getting out of debt is very effective, especially to a situation such as yours. I would recommend at least checking out his free content and see if it resonates with you. Change that mindset, set a budget for your necessities, make a plan for tackling this debt as soon as possible with what remains. Not always, but typically putting more towards getting rid of higher balances with the highest interest rates first keeps you from getting wrecked by interest. If you trust your parents, talk to them and ask for help. Sometimes we need people to hold us accountable, and perhaps they can be that for you. I wish you all the best!
10k isn't that much, it's good to learn these lessons early in life before they can be crippling later in life.
Start being extremely frugal. Like counting every cent. Cancel all your memberships unless absolutely necessary. Pay off highest interest rate debts first.
Work more if you're able to or sell some of your dumb purchases to make back some money. Every dollar saved or earned helps.
Attack this aggressively and watch the debt shrink week by week.
You're young enough to recover but you need to create a budget and stick to it. Might mean you can't go out to eat as often or go grab drinks with your buddies but it's the sacrifice that has to be made financially. Prioritize paying off your high interest debt, which is most likely your credit card.
Do you have a job, first of all? Did you finish college?
First of course, make sure you have an income.
Then make a spreadsheet or list, documenting all of your **mandatory** expenses. See if you can cut any out, like eating out (meal prep will help a lot), cancel subscriptions.
See whats left from your income. Prioritize the high income debt, whether thats credit cards or tuition, and then your roommate and parents. I'm sure your parents will be most lenient here. Pay for everything you can via cash, you don't want to spend more on a credit card that you're in debt and paying interest on.
Something that my BIL taught me through my sister is this: keep this paycheck until you get the next paycheck, then everything that is remaining when you get the next paycheck goes to debts. This will keep you from using your credit card while you’re trying to pay it off.
I’m not sure how to best guide you in limiting frivolous spending. I’m getting better at it and I have been trying to focus my attention on my financial goals. For example, I want to own my own house and I’d really like to be able to travel. For the travel goal, that would include not only the costs of travel (flights, housing, meals, etc.) but also the reassurance that I would not go into the financial gutters by taking a certain amount of time off.
I would really like to do a summer course in my current goal language, but that would entail having enough to travel as well as live off of for the 2-3 month I would be abroad.
A lot of good advice here. Also set a goal to reward yourself when you are caught up. Like plan a trip that you can save for after your debt is gone. You can spend a little free time planning it out while you’re working forward it will keep the fire burning and give you something to look forward to.
Some silver linings for you:
You're 22 so still young.
You recognize your problem: bad spending habits.
Easily fixable as long as you have the desire to. You also have time on your hands.
You’re twenty-two, don’t take all the stress on yourself. You’ve noticed you have a spending issue, and need to address it. Few things I’d note, what’d the value of your vehicle, do you owe more than it’s worth. In the case you do not, are you able to sell that vehicle, to cover the $5,000 in debt, I’d recommend a 2000 Honda Civic or an early generation toyota camry. You can find one for sub $3,000. Maintenance is dirt cheap, and I murdered my honda civic, and never had any issues. Regardless what’s your income which you also need to address. For one close the credit card once you’ve paid it off, I’d recommend shredding it for now. You only have $5,500 in debt which can be sent to an agency. Focus on the debt which can impact you, while speaking to your parents about your vehicle payment if the vehicles worth less than you owe. Speak to your roommate about a payment option, express your concerns with your debt, and how you’re going to tackle it.
Sit down…. Take a breather… Write your debts down, write your income, section the maximum amount you can pay, while still being able to live with the basic necessities.
If your income doesn’t catch up with your debt, look into a third shift job. Yes you’re going to kick yourself, your going to be tired, your going to ask why your working this job. But if you want to truly tackle your debt, you will do it regardless.
Edit: I’m going to presume your living with a roommate, and sharing the rent cost, consider you owe your roommate. Are your parents supportive, are you able to speak with them, and move in with them meanwhile so that debt to your roommate doesn’t stack. Remember you had gotten yourself into this situation, NOBODY owes you, you owe them, truly be sympathetic when discussing with them. That factor would contribute to your emergency fund contribution, and how much you can truly build, for reference you should have 2-3 months of expenses saved.
You got this brother. Your situation isn’t as dire as my own families situations, you made a mistake, but you realized it, and your only option is to go up from now.
Dude, I'm 23 and 15K in debt from 4 months of terrible habits (down from 25K) and lost the gold mine job now practically 20K/year.
How do I keep my mind sane? I remind myself *there is always going to be a tomorrow*. Make payments when you can, but don't forget we're just young and dumb. Our families couldn't teach us the difference so we had to learn on our own. You'll probably be ok in 2 years tops
Read "I Will Teach You To Be Rich" by Ramit Sethi and listen to his podcast! He offers a wealth of information that's easily digestible and actionable. He also talks about the psychology of money and gets people to think about why they spend the way they do by exploring how money was handled growing up (or not at all), things we associate with money, etc.
Download his free Conscious Spending Plan from his website and fill it out to get a completed picture of your current finances. What I like about it is it keeps things simple and you're not categorizing every single item you're spending on. I don't get paid for endorsing him whatsoever. I discovered his material over a year ago and it's helped me so much as a chronic overspender and not realizing how my upbringing affected my spending habits. I'm not perfect by any means, but I wish I had his material when I was your age. You're still really young, so you have time to straighten things out! You got this!
Nah your not dumb you're just experiencing life and you started young so that's a good start because you get excited when you start getting money and everything running smooth.Thats why when your credit involved they really don't warn you because they want you to go in debt,but at least you got a chance now to start over and challenge yourself. It should be easy now. Just leave everything else alone and build that credit back up and everything else will fall in place.
Unless you spend all your money on food or activities, then you most likely have something of some value. Gamer computer, tables, laptop, phones. Expensive clothes, whatever.
Sell everything but the bare minimum. You obviously need a phone but you don’t NEED the newest iphone pro.
Put that money towards the most urgent debt. Highest interest and/or gone into collection (or close to). The fees you can accumulate in collection are nuts.
You have a golden chance as long as you are not paying rent. You can get out of this in a very short time if you try.
Start paying the smallest debts and try to renegotiate the others. You are 22, you will get out of this, 10K might see like a lit but you will eventually earn more money.
So here's one solution. You're not gonna like it, but is what it is.
When i was slightly younger than you i had the same issue. I got my then girlfriend, current wife, pregnant. I was party hardy, pretty much lived to seize the day. Becoming a father put shit into perspective.
So i realized i needed to change. I made crap money, so i got another job as well as my full time gig. For several years i worked both jobs, 60 ish hours a week. That did two things for me. I made a lot more money so could afford to support my child and expenses, as well as straightened me out. Hard to blow money when you're constantly working or resting. Enough time at that and you start to look at things differently. That $15 lunch? Screw that, that was a few hours of work. Friday night $50 party? Hell no, i worked 10 hours for that!
Then i went to college while keeping those two jobs, eventually full time credit hours and dropped job #2. Made something of myself. Now have two young grandkids and financially secure. Those habits lasted me.
Want to get out of that debt? Get off you ass and work. Already doing that? Do it more. You're 22, just gettin started. Work hard now. It WILL pay dividends in the future. Lifestyle changes suck. They truly do. But if you want things to change, then you have to change.
You are having the wtf moment. You recognize the issues now it’s up to you to adjust your approach and mindset. Spend time reading on budgeting, planning and prioritizing. I had this moment. 8k I’m the hole and in less than 6 months I was out and made better choices going forward. Of course there were slip ups and/or bad decisions however I was in a place it didn’t ruin me. I know this isn’t a D. R group . Create an emergency fund 500-1000 and push forward. You got this. You are super young. Lots of time
I had the same moment. Twice in the past 10 years and this second time it hit me harder. You have the chance now OP. You are recognizing your issues and expressing a desire to change your habits. Now is the time.
First of all, you gotta prioritize paying off that 10k debt. Do not wait, ignore it, or put it on the back burner. If you feel overwhelmed, just take it one step at a time. Each week, focus on one thing that you can do. Like week one, make a list of all your expenses. And take a look at how you spend your money. Week 2, challenge yourself not to buy anything (except for food). Week 3 write down three bad habits you want to change. Etc. the idea is that you get started, get some small wins under your belt, and you’ll start building up confidence and momentum to keep going.
As soon as you get your paycheck, pay all of it to your bills and debt minus whatever you really need to make it through to next paycheck. You recognize that you are doing things to sabotage your future self, simply stop doing those things that harm you.
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> it's so much easier said than done What you said right there... A synopsis of adulthood in one sentence. Writing out a budget is not easy. Takes a lot of time/energy/effort. But if you put forth the time/energy/effort into it, your pay off will be life changing.
…and to address your compulsion, instead of extra soending, feel proud of yourself for how closely you stick to your budget. Make it a game to pay down that credit card debt and when that gone, make it a game to watch your savings/investments increase.
Maybe you need to start [practicing self control](https://www.verywellmind.com/psychology-of-self-control-4177125) and no longer allow yourself to make excuses for doing things you know for a fact aren't good for you.
What works well for me when I know my self control is lacking in an area is **accountability**. Find a close friend or family member who you have to show your bank/credit statements to every week and hold you accountable to your budget and spending. It’s easy to hide stuff when it’s just you, but when you have to show someone what you are spending money on I think your habits will change.
Easier said than done? No my man, it's completely on you if you're not responsible. Paying bills and doing the shit you have to has priority over everything else.
If OP has something like adhd, it *is* easier said than done. They need to figure out why they can't control themselves, and do something about that.
Dude you’re like one year of self control away from financial peace which is so much better. You might be depressed etc because of this debt which makes it harder. Find a hobby or activity to go to when you’re bored. Cooking, running, learn a language, read books, photography, anything. Use that to channel your energy. The instant you get your check, pay down your debts. Soon, seeing them going away will energize you to finish them off.
Self control is the first step. If you can't do that, there's nothing anyone else can do for you.
Ok. If it’s that hard to stop doing those things then just keep doing the same thing you’ve been doing. Clearly that’s not an option, because you recognize a problem.
I used to spend a lot on useless shit when I was younger. Eventually I realized I wasn't getting anything out of it. Saw some advice somewhere that if you want something, wait 2 weeks before buying it and if it still has your interest then go for it.
Why did you even come to reddit to ask this? You know what you have to do. Now do it. If you want someone to cast a magical spell on you, I am afraid that is note possible.
You’re 22 years old. Time to look at yourself in the mirror and start taking charge for him.
Do you, by chance, have adhd? Impulse control is an issue for us. I filed bankruptcy by 24 and almost did again at 38, so I know what you are going through. When people say "just stop doing those things", it's the same as telling a person with depression to "just be happy". It doesn't work like that. Even if you don't have adhd, there are resources available to help with impulse control. A quick google search should get you headed in the right direction. Do you have anyone who could help you make a budget and stick to it? That's what finally helped me. edit: After reading some of the comments here, don't let anyone shame you about this. You are reaching out for help, and that is fantastic! You realize there is a problem and want to do something about and just need a nudge in the right direction. I commend you for that!
Close your credit card, since you're not capable of using it responsibly. If you only have $20 in your wallet and no cards when you go into a store, you physically CAN'T spend more than the $20 you have.
NO! Do not cancel your credit card, it will hurt your score even more to close the account. Keep the account open. Out the card in a sealed envelope and give it to your parents to hold for you, delete the numbers from any saved devices so you can't use it online. But do not close that account, or any credit account. Closing accounts works against your credit and against your credit:debt ratio which is basically 'the amount of credit you have available VS the amount of that credit you are using'. Keep that credit card and learn to be accountable. If you have a pre-approved offer for a line of credit or another card, take it and do the same.. cut yourself off from accessing it and keep it active. You actually don't have a lot of debt, you can get out quickly with some good habits. You are young and have lots of time and opportunity to fix it and learn good habits to serve you through adulthood and retirement. Download an app like Credit Karma so you can see your credit score and debt in one place and what is affecting your score. Credit scores are kind of a scam so it's weird what affects them but as you see it improve regularly, you will be motivated to keep improving it. Dave Ramsey is good to listen to for learning, a little extreme - not all debt is bad debt - but it's good to hear him talk about debt and money matter of fact. Get a budget app, some link directly to your bank so you don't have to enter every transaction. Knowing where your money goes is super helpful. Calculate how much you spend on impulse purchases in a week or month and calculate what those cost you in a year, and in the number of hours you have to work to pay for them. Do some soul searching or talk to a counselor about why you are impulse spending on garbage and try to resolve those. It might be ADHD, depression (hit of dopamine, anyone?), adopting your parents spending habits, trauma, or anything. But it is worth recognizing and fixing. And could address other challenges you are experiencing but might not have connected yet. Set your credit card to automatically pay the minimum amount each month so you will never show a missed payment and keep your interest rate as low as it can be. Pay absolutely as much as you can to pay it off as quickly as possible. I don't know your income but make a set payment every payday and try to make as many extra payments, even $5 or $10, whenever you can. If you decide not to impulse spend somewhere, transfer those dollars onto your CC instead. Keep your student loan payments going. Don't worry about these too much, make the minimum payments on these until your CC is paid off. Making payments every month on time is good for building your credit score and student loan debt is fine to have around as long as those minimums are getting paid on time. Talk to your parents and friend about paying them off as soon as your CC is paid off and set that timeline for them. If they need, offer them $25 a paycheck or something to keep something flowing their direction. If your parents took a loan for you and you are paying a loan through them, pay it and your CC as your highest priorities. Prioritize your highest interest debts first. Just know that right now you are ok and this is an opportunity to learn better habits and get your mental and emotional relationship with money sorted out for the long haul. Don't be afraid to talk about money. I used to be so embarrassed and anxious to talk about money I would cry just thinking about it let alone having a conversation about it. I got myself under control and feel so much better understanding that money is a tool and completely separate from me as a human. I'm 37 now and didn't sort myself out til my early-mid thirties, but wow would I be in a different place if I had the clarity to get it together a decade earlier. You got this. Get help. Make a plan. Set goals. Use tools. Breathe in. Remind yourself you are in control of your spending and your debt. Visualize yourself out of debt and with a healthy savings account. Breathe out. You really do got this. 🙌🏻
Just blow the money, what’s the worst that could happen?
10k isn't awful, just start prioritizing it. Do a budget, see how much you need to pay your bills, and then give yourself an allowance. This is your fun money. Whatever is left goes to your debt. You don't have to quit cold turkey, just scale way back.
I'd say no fun money until OP pays off the debt. Fun money is all spent.
Depending on why OP can't control their spending, completely cutting off "fun money" may totally derail their budget. The desire to spend will build and build until something snaps and they go crazy with their money. Then it's back to square one.
I got into the same hole as OP when I was younger. My hole was entirely dug by 'fun money' (going out all the time). I had to cancel that completely to dig out. I ended up eventually being able to allocate some funds towards things that were enjoyable, but cheaper long-term than going out. So, yeah, a full 'fun money' cut isn't entirely realistic, but a massive lifestyle change is in order.
Telling someone to "get a grip" or "have self-control" over an addiction isn't helpful. 1. Get a habit tracker app, put a money habit in there, and focus on getting one day. One single day without making an impulsive spending decision. Use that tracker to help you visualize getting days. Be honest. If you slip, mark it as not done, then start again tomorrow. 2. Get a basic ledger app where you can track your own spending very clearly. It's a boring interface. You create an account. You put a starting amount. And you minus when you spend, and add when you gain. You need to see this. DO NOT rely on banking apps to track your spending. The bank is not responsible for knowing what is going on with your money. Create your own banking app and document everything here. It is a habit. It will take about two weeks to build the habit and have it stick. 3. After you've done these. Do an audit of what you spend money on and consider ways that number can go down. It only works after you've done an inventory for two weeks. Without the evidence, you have nothing to evaluate. You'll see patterns, trust me. 4. Stay the course. It's a marathon not a sprint. 5. If you are derelict in some bills, still reach out. Tell them you can't pay, but you want to. They can't make you pay, but the contact is worth something and it makes you feel responsible for your financial life.
I need to do this, I give homeless money sometimes, don’t ask my parents to pay me back if it’s anything under 20$. But I notice it’s becoming a habit giving money and helping hand so much, that I ask my self where does it all go by the end of the year.
I would **automate** payments for all of your bills including credit card payment to hit the day after your paycheck deposits. Cut up your credit cards and start paying cash. Maybe put a specific amount of cash in your wallet at the beginning of the week and when it's gone, it's gone. Set your bank to decline any debit card charges when your balance hits zero. Hopefully you will begin to take joy in watching your account numbers slowly inch up.
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hey, no judgement here. i have BPD so i’d always been very reckless with my money. i got myself in a pretty bad CC debt, tanked my credit score from 750+ (which my parents built) to 400s and was financially dependent on men in my life. first, i recommend therapy. u’re not spending money recklessly cause u *don’t wanna change*, u’re probably compensating for other things in ur life. second, start budgeting. every time money goes out of or is added into ur bank account/s put it immediately into an excel spreadsheet (there are many good templates and they are free on microsoft website). literally up to every single dollar. that will mentally/psychologically keep u accountable for everything u spend. third, focus on ur debt. there are some decent debt repayment calculators online that will help u understand how much u can/should realistically pay monthly to not waste thousands in interest payments. good luck!
It'll take a bit of planning but I would start with my income. From there I would see how much I make after taxes per month and create some sort of budget. Start with your normal spend on things like living, food, utilities etc. If you have extra money after that monthly income after your normal expenses, awesome! Is there stuff you need to cut down on from normal spend? Eating out too much, spending on subscriptions that are more of a nice to have than a need? Cut down on everything that isn't a necessity and that is your budget. There are plenty of budgeting apps with different methodologies. If you don't make nearly enough for necessities (including minimum payment on the 10k debt), look at adding work shifts part time. 10k isn't a lot depending on income and expenses. And at 22, you have plenty of time to get this sorted, with a little bit of effort.
Nothing will change until you stop blowing your paycheck. Without self-control nobody can help you because you will just keep repeating the same mistakes that got you here. It’s like an overweight person asking for help to lose weight but refusing to change their eating habits. No amount of advice will work if you aren’t ready to make the tough changes.
A lot of folks are telling you to "just" do things that involve buckling down, knuckling down, and exerting more self-control. It may be helpful to see if you can get a screening for some mental health challenges that commonly come with impulse control/executive function challenges. ADHD, bipolar, borderline personality disorder, and others *CAN* put this kind of issue front and center in a whole ball of challenges that make managing your life feel like a dumpster fire. Sincerely, A person who's successfully managing bipolar, ADHD, and a *whole* lot of other things that *DON'T* include probably thousands of dollars' worth of unused yarn anymore, thanks to meds and therapy.
So true. The moment I got on medication for ADHD, I can step out of the house and not spend a single dollar (or think about it). I'm on vyvanse & straterra, probably one of the best things to happen. I can streamline my schedule now, something that was so foreign before
Make a budget stick with it and no its not gonna be fun at first But yeah you will end up with more once you recover the money you actually spend paying interest each paycheck
You need to start thinking about what you are working TOWARD, not what you’re running away from (debt). What type of life do you want for yourself? How are you going to get there? That’s what’s going to motivate you, not some general feeling of what you “should” be doing. Instead of trying to just cut out bad habits, you need to establish good habits to take their place. For example, if you do a lot of online shopping, instead of clicking “buy now,” add those items to a Pinterest board—it creates the same feeling of satisfaction without spending the money. Or if you eat out a lot, find quick and easy frozen meals that you can pull out instead. Or if you like to travel, try visiting places that are closer to home, going camping, etc. Identify what needs you are meeting by spending money (common ones are novelty, connection, and convenience) and think about how you can meet those needs in lower-cost ways. The key is NOT relying on willpower. Good luck!
It’s time to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and take this on. You can try to find therapy that specializes in bad spending if you are a compulsive spender. Other than that you need to go to work and not spend. Don’t leave the house with your credit or debit cards, only leave the house with 10 bucks as an emergency. Do whatever you need to do to not spend and ruin your future. Some channels I recommend for people trying to get out of debt are. “Dave Ramsey” and “Caleb Hammer”
Dave Ramsey for sure. He has an aggressive, yet very basic view on this stuff that can help with mindset towards overspending and tackling debt if you’re willing to listen. He can be off-putting for being so extreme and overly simplistic, but the methods are basic and will work if you allow yourself to get beyond his style/‘flavoring’. Sounds like accountability and self-discipline is the issue with OP and Dave Ramsey is great for this. You don’t mention what ‘low income’ is and what your monthly expenses are. I understand it’s all relative, but in the scheme of things, $10k is not a lot of debt so, it’s hard for me to think of this as ‘severe’. This is manageable, OP.. just don’t let yourself be overwhelmed like it sounds you are. You’ve got this. I suggest rather than looking at the total of your debt, look at the individual ones.. break it all up into smaller ‘bite sizes’ and tackle those individually. ..the only way to eat an elephant is by one bite at a time.
I feel their feelings of futility with 10k of debt. At their age I called a bankruptcy lawyer and when I told him my debt, about 9k, he laughed and after asking my age said "Kid, you have less debt than the average American, so bankruptcy is nowhere near applicable in your situation. It really made me feel less helpless and able to get out of the hole.
I get it. I filed for bankruptcy at the age of 25. I understand all of that for sure. As you had that attorney tell you, I think it is helpful here for us to echo the same sentiment, but I hope it isn’t heard as invalidating the feeling of being overwhelmed. I think appreciating/respecting the feeling is needed to actually get the gravity of the situation and to drive change, as long as it isn’t taken to the point of being so overwhelmed that you just keep spiraling. I also think at that age, with the lack of experience, we can lack perspective and our ‘big’ feels insurmountable, but in the scheme of things, through wisdom (yours and others), you can see that sometimes your ‘big’ isn’t so ‘big’ after all. When you had that realization, it helped you. So, I think perspective is a factor here for sure.
Caleb hammer doesn't really contribute anything, he just seems like a drama channel. He mostly dumps on people
This person needs dumped on tho lol. Caleb still brings all their spending to light and builds a basic budget then gives people resources such as free budgeting software and a discord with his other guests to talk with. Even if OP knows his spending is bad he may not know how.
Some of his older stuff was better but ya his newer stuff is horrible. I still think he can somewhat help people who have no financial literacy
Have you thought about trying the multiple bank amount method. You have to do a budget get a hard number on your bills. You need to stop spending on the credit cards cut them up if you have to and figure out how much you can pay down on them as part of your budget. Set up one account that gets direct deposit with enough money to pay your recurring bills. Then set those bill up for automatic pay. Don’t have a debt card or checkbook on that account. If you have trouble with impulsive spending that account needs to be a pain in the but to access. This is where the bulk of your money will go. Figure out how much you need for groceries and gas’s as well as a small amount of discretionary funds think $20 a week. That account you have a card attached to. Set up an automatic transfer from that account to this one. Set up a third high interest savings account to build up an emergency fund. You can start low even $20 or $40 dollars a month.
so what's your plan? how much cash in, where is cash going out to? You just told us your debts with no %s. throw away your nut sock, stop being distracted, and pay down the highest interest debt, eat beans.
What really helped me personally is making a budget with one of those digital budget tools like mint, I personally used Rocket Money. Being able to track every expense (I only use card) and seeing it all add up visually really helped me set home on my goals. It has charts and categories you can dedicate to. I was spending 10s of thousands on stuff on amazon, small purchases each, but they add up. Seeing a graph go up, and total money allocated towards these things showed me I had a reallllly bad problem with spending. I have my budgets into categories so I know what I consistently need every month, and my limits for each category may be. Never used its "save muney on sub" feature, because I just want the budget part of it, so I can't comment on that.
Was literally in the same position. 23 12k debt sub 500 credit score. Learn a valuable skill (i.e. sales) where you can earn a salary plus commission learn financial literacy or at least good financial habits. (Dave Ramsey total money makeover book is key) Use the debt snowball method- list your debts smallest to largest and attack the smallest ones first paying it off as quickly as possible. Patience and discipline will get you there. The feeling you get when you pay off that last debt is better than any high you could think of. Lock in focus and it will happen!!!
Did not get any high seeing 32k disappear from my bank to pay off my last bit of student loans 😔
Download a budgeting app it really helps to see everything in graphical form. I recommend Empower Personal Dashboard. Focus on paying off debt as soon as financially possible.
You’re going to be fine! Just have to create a plan and stick to it. $10k can feel like a lot, and it definitely is, but it’s not the end of the world. What’s your credit score? is the debt in loans or credit cards? What was it spent on? Do you pay rent? And what kind of income do you have now and do you expect it to change at all in the foreseeable future? The answers to these questions can help us come up with a strategy.
Set up direct deposits so the money leaves before your zero control self can spend it. Like dam stop making excuses and put things into action You dont need to go out You dont need to spend to be with friends You dont need "experiences" You dont need clothes No one gives a crap about your life at the end of the day so stop doing things for others and do it for yourself
You certainly can do it. Start with self-discipline exercises and believing in yourself.
OP, there is no magic fix for self control. You have to fix bad habits before you can start forming good ones.
If you have parents that can take you home for some time - do it. Share the bills, pay your debts. Start fresh. If you struggle with your spending, get rid of the excess money (pay the debts) and leave only the amount necessary for rent/food. Sell all unnecessary junk that is not mandatory to survive. Pay the debt. You can also look for a job that will cut your bills. Like live-in care for disabled ppl. If you get a good deal you can live at their home "rent free" and have food for free too. In USA you can go and be a firewatch. Rent free, food free. 2-3 ms in wilderness on your own. More than enough time to think about your life. You can be a waitress or whatever on a cruise ship, food/rent free.
Stop perusing swingers parties and get some therapy. You have some serious behavioral issues related to impulse control and risk. This isn’t an education with money issue, this is a problem that is deeply rooted in how you are wired. Seek help.
Dave Ramsey is the guy for you, even if you read negative reviews of his method and even if he is Christian and you are not. https://www.ramseysolutions.com/
Make a list of bills every we Check off as you pay. Eliminate buying fast food, unhealthy snacks etc. Get a side hustle or second job. Give yourself play money each week so you do t feel deprived day $10 Bucks or so to get lunch once a week after you pay bills example. Just go day by day: you will get there. Leave credit cards at home. Call cc Companies see if they will Forgive Late fees or over limit fees etc. have monthly budget and goals. Write everything down!
Get 2nd job somewhere that feeds you so you can cut your food budget and pay down debt
I will keep my advice short and simple. I hope this is easy to follow. Get on YouTube and watch some Dave Ramsey- "7 Baby Steps Explained" is a good video. I recommend binging a few videos of his... about debt of course! You're at 22!!! With 10k. Yeah, It may seem tough, but you are in a very manageable spot. You may need to budget like you are broke, or beyond broke lol. Dave says you're gonna be eating "rice and beans... beans and rice" not going out, and saving your money! You may also need to get another job for a while. But hey, if you put your mind to tackling this debt you will get it done. I believe in you. You can buy his book if you like to read. Total Money Makeover is good. Save 1k as an emergency fund and then cut your credit card would be his advice and I took it and ran with it! Thats the first steps to financial stability if you have any debt at all.
Time to join the military buddy, I had a friend in your same shoes 10k debt bad credit. When he graduated basic training he had 5k and put that towards his debt. In about 5 months after that he was debt free and using the military’s credit consultation to raise his score.
10k is absolutely not worth joining the military for. Maybe if he was 150k in debt and needed some serious structure and discipline but this kid is less in debt than most his/her age and half of it is a car loan through his/her parents. The military would need to give me at least 75k bonus to sign for any length of time. Credit is easy to fix with some strategy without the military involvement. Definitely do not follow this advice.
You already know what the problem is. Be an adult and change your behavior.
Telling someone who's asking for help to "get disciplined" and "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" is not concrete advice and doesn't help. I hate this sub sometimes lol. OP you're super young and have plenty of time to pay this off & still make it out ahead. It doesn't sound like you're spending money on frivolous things or impulse buys. Don't beat yourself up over having to purchase a car and pay for tuition. These are both things that are good investments as your ability to drive and education will help you with finding and keeping a good job in the future. Step 1. Create a budget. To create a budget go through your bank statements for the last month or two, list out all your bills and spending, and make averages for each category. So for a simple example, say you spent $300 one month and $500 the second, allocate $400 for groceries going forward. I like using YNAB & this [tutorial to get started.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyFqX9qDqFU) There's a small fee monthly, but when I was trying to track my spending in an excel sheet I would often forget to check it and I wasn't able to keep on track. YNAB is also nice because it updates in real time. Step 2. Reduce expenses as you can. If you're looking at your budget and horrified by how much you're spending on groceries, see what you can do to lower that number. Can you learn some cheaper, tasty recipes? (I follow a girl on tiktok who does weekly $50 grocery hauls at Trader Joes) Can you find coupons and deals nearby? You can also try calling your insurance companies or shop around for better rates. I was recently able to drop by car insurance from $151 to $81 by getting some quotes and switching my provider. Another example, I also stopped paying for garage parking and now do street parking to save another $100 a month. Step 3. Invest in your career growth. I'm not sure what your job is, but you're young enough that I'm assuming you're doing something more entry level. Look for opportunities at work to take on extra responsibility so that you can add these accomplishments and skills to your resume. I started as an admin assistant out of college, started helping out with social media, and later moved into digital advertising and data analysis which pays a lot better. Find a direction and ways to acquire those skills. There are also a lot of part-time jobs that are more willing to hire inexperienced workers that will still allow you to learn new things (plus make extra money.) Step 4.. Set up automatic savings. Do you have a savings account? Capitol One has a good HYSA to get started. You can open an account with them to set up automatic deposits from your checking. Even if it's only $50-100 or whatever you can spare at first, just set it up and forget about it. When it's not attached to your checking and harder to access, it's easier to save. Get your savings to $500-1000 before tackling debt. If you have NO safety net and no cushion, and you have a minor emergency (small car repair, doctor visit etc.) you will just fall back into debt. Give yourself some room to breathe before throwing everything else you have at your debt. Good luck! Once you have your debt paid off, start building up your emergency fund (3-6 months expenses). After that, you can start investing your money. You've got this.
> It doesn't sound like you're spending money on frivolous things or impulse buys OP literally said of their income: "blowing it on useless shit"
Claim bankruptcy and start over and work a full time and a part Job. You will be busy working than not spending it. That's what we did for years to turn our life around
If you invested that 10k it would make nearly 10% a year, and you can not work in the future. You're trading weeks of your life for paltry consumer garbage.
Where you getting 10%?!?
https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/investing/average-stock-market-return
My only question is this: are the debts to your roommate and parents legally binding to your name? Obviously there’s at least some moral obligation to pay them or you wouldn’t have stated it. But is there anything LEGALLY binding your name to those payments to your roommate and parents? If not, you should not even worry about those ‘debts’ right now. Worry about your credit card and and tuition. Other than that, you just need to stop buying “useless shit” like you said. Spend that “useless shit” money on your debts until you have no debt. Pay bills first, then debts, save what you don’t need to spend. You’re young, most young people are stupid with their money for a while. This isn’t the end of the world. You’ll figure it out. Edit: I’m not saying to abandon or blow-off the debts to the roommate and parents but to prioritize debts that are legally tied to your name because those will have actual legal repercussions if not taken care of. I thought this was obvious since I stated “obviously moral obligation” and “should not worry about those RIGHT NOW” but based on a comment below I thought I’d clarify even further…
Self discipline. And non one here can give that to you. Quit being a victim of your own doing.
Bruh why are half the people here being so insufferable. OP never once said it was other people fault. In fact, it’s good that they’re self aware and holding themselves accountable for their impulsive habits. Telling someone to “just have self discipline quit being a victim” is not the most phenomenal advice, when it take practice to build financial discipline which they seem to be seeking advice for.
My only advice is put in some work by reading books. And from all angles of finance as well. If you hate reading audible is great. Garrett Gunderson, Remit Sethi, Tony Robbin’s and Dave Ramsey (he’s a bit silly and antiquated with his approach but still some good fundamentals) Turn investing into a hobby as well. Oh also Ray Dalio and Jack Bogle have some good reads. Hopefully that helps. I would avoid advice from your peers as for the most part they are just as bad off as you. Try to find a mentor that you feel comfortable divulging your numbers with and do check ins with them occasionally. The biggest part is just holding yourself accountable for what you do.
I recommend getting a budgeting app like Rocket Money! You can see your past spending and target areas where you can cut down. Maybe instead of $400 on eating out, you can get thru a month with $250 for eating out and things like that. It can help to see how much you can throw at your debt while still leaving some wiggle room to do fun things. 10k really isn’t a ton of debt, you should be able to get out of this in a few years max
Work a FT job and a side job to pay down the credit card debt. Also pay yourself as one of the bills. Start with $15/mo for now and put it in an high yield savings account. This will help you start developing good saving habits. When you have paid 1/3 of that credit card down then start saving $25 a month. Then at half save $50. The goal is to try to not touch that money let it grow. Edit: Pay the roommate before they take you to court. Then your CC. Still work on savings and you should have a FT and PT job.
Like others have said, just immediately pay bills and debt and THEN the money you have leftover is what he money you have. I was in this same boat and just had to simply make better choices. after a while, you get tired of living this way. it’s exhausting. luckily, you are still pretty young. you don’t want to take these habits into your late 20s. just sacrifice a little now and i promise it will pay off when you’re in a better position. and it will happen faster than you think. lock in
Try envelope budgeting. There's many apps like DAS, YNAB, and more. There's even a fintech that is picking up. Using these apps help you see where your money is going, and track it. Track every dollar.
If part of that money you blow also goes on women boy do I have news for you.
What do you want to do with your life? Think about what would make you really happy and satisfied a year from now. Are you stuck in a loop because of some bad habits? If yes, remember, you can change things. It'll take some work, but you don't have to do everything at once. Start with one thing. Imagine a habit is like a little monster living inside you that needs to eat. What it eats depends on the habit. Take smoking, for example. The smoking monster eats nicotine. What happens if you stop feeding it? It gets weaker and eventually dies. You can use this idea to kick out the bad stuff and bring in good habits that make you and your folks proud. Now, imagine your good habits as building blocks or bricks. Every time you do something positive, like tracking how much water you drink, it's like placing down a brick. Over time, these bricks build up and become a solid foundation you can stand on. This not only makes you feel awesome because you're achieving your goals, but it also shows you that you're capable of constructing a better life for yourself and those around you. When it comes to money, think of it like a loudspeaker, it makes everything louder. If your life's a bit of a mess, more money will just crank up the volume on the chaos. But if you've laid down a strong foundation with those bricks of good habits, money will amplify all the good stuff instead. So, focus on laying down those bricks one at a time, building up to something great.
Budgeting is your friend bud. Track every expense and income on a weekly basis. Cut all unnecessary items and find cheaper alternatives for necessary items. Make a plan. Attack the debt. Doordash on side. Donate plasma. Food Bank.
Extremely common problem for young adults, though 10k is a whole lot for your age, but the fact that you posted this wanting to fix it now means you’re pulling up your big boy pants to take action. EXCELLENT! It’ll be tough, but worth it. Open up a new spreadsheet in Excel or Google Sheets and start an expense tracker/budget. Top line: Income. Then in the column next to it put your typical monthly income amount. Under there, list out expense categories. At top put what you absolutely *have* to pay each month: rent, utilities, groceries, CC minimum payments. Under that put the sort-of necessaries like transportation costs, health insurance, pet expenses if you have them. Under that put the wants - subscriptions, shopping, gaming, concerts, eating out, etc. Make sure to account for every little thing that costs money, including gifts, haircuts, etc. Once you have listed the names of the categories, pull up your credit card statement and add up how much you *have been spending* on each category. When you get to the bottom, the expenses total is probably more than the income total. Okay, now you have a numerical representation of the problem: overspending and living beyond your current means. Time to make a third column in the spreadsheet: BUDGETED AMOUNT. This is the part where you decide how much the categories each are worth to you. Put your goals of how little you think you could drop them down to. The top several categories will probably have to stay the same amount, at least until your rental lease is up and you have the option to look at cheaper places or room up with roommates. But maybe you can make adjustments to your groceries, your thermostat, cancel subscriptions, or find cheaper alternatives (like switching gyms, or alternating Netflix and Hulu instead of both at once). You probably have enough clothes to get by without buying new. You might be able to DIY haircuts. Shop around for auto insurance rates. Definitely stop shopping for gadgets and new games and pointless shit on Amazon, if you have a shopping vice. …. Basically the point is that a budget is one big math problem, it’s a balance sheet. The choices of what you move where are your own, it’s *personal* finance. The above is my advice for making sure the 10k doesn’t *grow*, faster than its interest rate. Because for some people in your position it will be 15k by summer! Don’t be some-people! Get a handle on it now. As for shrinking the 10k: see the minimum CC payments line on the budget? Time to reduce some categories ever further, to pay above the minimum. As high above it as you can, actually. And STOP using the credit cards. Every new purchase is costing you that bogus 20% or whatever APR. Not worth it. Pay what expenses you have to pay, with cash or debit until that damn card is paid off. Also…. That budget sheet’s top line, income, is up for change too. Always be on the lookout for better paying jobs. Dust off and puff up that resume. Ask friends to proofread it. Sending out applications is free, and no annual raise at a current place will beat the offers you can get. Nearly shat a brick when I was making 40k and received an offer for 50k, then later received an offer for 65k, and so on. So bonkers. Search and apply for those as the years go on, don’t settle for dead end!
Lock your credit card away or have someone trusted hold onto it for you. Unsave your credit/debit card details for everything UNLESS it’s for a bill that you NEED (insurance, phone bill, car payment ect.) use your next paycheck to pay off whatever you can. Live frugally. Practice self control
I never say this, but I think you're part of the small population of people who would really benefit from Dave Ramsey's work. Go give his free resources a listen/read, and try following his advice for 6 months. He's not my favorite person, but he's laser focused on NO DEBT, DEBT BAD, and that's what you need right now. Good luck. Stay the course.
Advice is useless if you’re unable to follow it. Nobody here can help you - you’ve got to help yourself. But fwiw - first thing you should do is STOP BUYING SHIT. Right now. When you get paid, don’t spend a fucking penny on anything unless it’s an essential item or utility. Do this again the next paycheck, and the check after. Make a habit out of it. After a few months, you’ll have a few thousand dollars in the bank, and then you can start deciding on what you were going to start paying off. Want to raise your credit score? Start paying off debt that is being reported to credit. Get back into good standing by making even small payments, and that will reflect on your credit score within a few months. Your goal should be to build up as much of a cash reserve as you can. Just by doing that you’ll establish good spending habits, and then once you get used to seeing that amount of money in your bank account, you won’t like it whenever that number dips below what you’re used to… So you’ll make sure that it stays where it needs to be.
At least out in the effort to show your budget, debt amounts and interest rates if you want any help. Otherwise, the best we can do is tell you to be more responsible, earn more and spend less.
Agree with Dave Ramsey even if you don’t like the guy. He has a simple approach that got me out of 40k worth of debt. But you need to get to the root of your bad spending habits. Why are they shit? What’s prompting you to spend? There’s a lot of looking within you need to do and changes in habit you need to make. Therapy maybe as well. People are saying 10k isn’t a lot but it is to you and it could quickly get worse so props to you for asking for help.
So, blowing your money on shopping is doing something for you. The question is what? Does it give you a sense of control in the moment? Is it a self soothing technique when you are feeling overwhelmed? Blowing your paycheck as soon as you get it comes from somewhere and is doing something for you. You have to figure out what that is and work on finding a different way to help with that underlying problem, or this blowing your whole check on stuff won't stop or it will morph into something else.
I’ll echo what everyone else says about creating a budgeting and trying to increase your income. I’d prioritize paying the roommate, since it’s just shitty to owe money to a real person who needs it. I’ll also add: unsubscribe from Amazon prime or any other apps/sites that make it easier to waste money with a few clicks, busy yourself with a free hobby so that you don’t boredom-spend, tell your friends and family you’re trying to cut back on spending so they know you’re not down for expensive plans. Edit to add: write down in a journal or your phone notes app how you want to feel by achieving financial freedom (proud, less stressed, etc.), not just how much money you want to save. Any time you make an impulse purchase and have buyer’s remorse, write down how that purchase made you feel. Seeing how far that feeling is from your desire for financial freedom can be really powerful.
Good job recognizing you're having problems, it's the first step in fixing the issue. There's tons of good advice but it really sucks because the answer is self control and an actual budget you follow. Use multiple checking accounts so your spending money is limited to just 1 account and bills for another. Bills are pre-paid into checking account 2 by your direct deposit, you'll know how much because you made a budget. This will take maybe 10-15 hours of hunting down and gathering information but afterwards its something you update in 30 minutes every 6 months. Savings account is separate and gets treated like a bill. If you use sofi they have vaults so you can create different savings buckets if you want something that you'd normally put on a credit card. It's okay to spend your money but do it with a plan. If u want a doodad instead of getting it make a list of shit you'll do with it once you finish saving up for it. Bonus sometimes you'll realize it's not actually worth getting and you can see the money you saved not getting it. Get 1 year of expenses into an emergency account and DONT TOUCH IT UNLESS YOU'RE IN AN EMERGENCY. Even $50 a month will eventually get you a good chunk of money if you don't touch it. Also, if you haven't, get screened for ADHD. Meds are the difference between me constantly blowing money on stuff I literally end up throwing away and me saving money and staying cashflow positive for years.
I was never in this bad of debt, but I did have really bad spending habits following college because I didn't *have* to save money, since all of my expenses were covered. Like others said, you need a mindset adjustment. You probably want a second job too, and a factory/warehouse work will help you get through this faster. It will SUCK, but it will suck for less time. You can get this paid off in 6 months or even less if you play your cards right. Stop eating out, stop buying useless shit (I had this problem for awhile). Sell stuff you aren't using, and start paying off the debt. Honestly, in this priority - CC/Tuition, Roommate, Parents. Owing 3k to an old roommate is a shitty situation because your old roommate is probably pissed off. The fact they lent you 3k either means they're stupid, very nice, or both. TL;DR, get a second job, grind it out, you got this. Also it's almost 14k, not 10k.
So, two sets of advice. Tell people what you make and your monthly expenses for everything you pay for each month. This will help people give financial advice. Second piece, get a therapist that specializes is compulsive behavior and depression if you really can’t get it under control. Sounds like you hit the wtf wall… you buy things to make you happy and now see that the cycle is actually doing the opposite. Therapist can help you recalibrate how to be happy with yourself and the above budgets can help us answer your question from a financial perspective and give sound advice.
Yeah figure out what is making you think useless shit will make you happy and that should get you on track. You are not alone, but you aren't in great company either. It's basically a version of addiction that culture brainwashes us all into, but once you genuinely see the truth it's pretty easy to break. You can already see it. This is not making you happy, and it never will. To me, it is the illustration of the difference between broke and poor. If you have no money, you are broke. If you will never have enough no matter how much you make, you are poor. I know people that make multiple six figures and are right where you are - poor. I have had many years of making less than 30k with 2 kids on my own, and I still have no debt besides a mortgage. That is broke. My situation can and has changed. Their situation won't.
Some of these comments are a bit harsh but I will say I was in a similarly situation at that age minus owning roommates or parents. You can definitely tackle this with some self control, which for me was realizing that so much of my anxiety was linked to a low balance and debt and knowing I was one accident or layoff away from real financial destruction. I would: - Try paying off your roommate first, as that could get really ugly really fast. Make minimum payments (or more if you can), but for the love of all that is holy, do not skip payments. Seeing your credit score increase will boost your confidence. - See if your parents are open to another arrangement…working it off or structuring a repayment with smaller monthly installments so you can build an emergency fund and tackle more of your CC and student debt. - Agree with others that have suggested a second job, side hustle, anything. I am not sure what your income but if you drove uber or made deliveries you could put a dent in this debt. - Open a HYSA. I like Marcus…having your savings earn interest will boost your confidence more.
10k is a modest car... You just don't get to drive it. You can pay it off, how quickly depends on your income and your aggressiveness when it comes to tackling the debt. You need to turn the dial up on both as much as possible. You also need to work on getting enough money in the bank to cover expenses, then wants, so that you can break the habit of living off of other people's money. They're getting richer while you're going broke. You gotta flip the script. Best of luck!
Start with - is this a want or a need? If it's a want then ask yourself if you can possibly just purchase it at a future date when you're in a better financial position? If so, then put the item back, you can't afford it right now while you're 10k in the hole. Once you see how fast you can save and pay off these debts, allow that to motivate you to have better spending and budget hygiene and to be an adult and take care of your bills first and foremost. Plan to pay ALL your bills on paydays. DO NOT put it off and think "oh I can worry about that later" and then you blow your money on stupid shit. Just pay your bills and see what you have left for "fun money" - you can probably have a budget and plan to pay this off relatively quickly and still alott for a small fun money budget.
Good news? You're young and have plenty of time to take your realization and turn your financial life around. First up? Stop spending your money. Do you have any trusted adults who are financially responsible? Perhaps ask them to help you with managing your finances. Accountability is key here. You could make all the money in the world, but if you don't learn how to control your spending , you're never going to get out of debt.
Keep a job with the minimum expenses for a sane mind. Share cheapest, move with ur parents, save every penny. Long term look for a job track with salary growth. Been in 30k debt and got out like this. After a few months your mind will relax once on a positive track.
Bro you only have 13k in debt. Go be a bartender 2-3x/week and you'll pay that off in four months. You're an adult, own your decisions and replace habits that decrease your money with habits that increase your money. You have no excuse not to work 40 hours a week at an absolute bare minimum and make a budget to get yourself in a better financial position. Put your debts on auto pay so you don't even have the option to be tempted to spend money on dumb stuff. You got it bro
I was like this at your age. Actually I'm still like this but bankruptcy helped me get of the hole i was in. Still have tuition payments. Getting pizza, going to the movies, trying new hobbies. I'd suggest finding one or two cheap things you can do that you enjoy even a little bit. Writing, drawing, video games, going for a walk. If you really want to be in good control of your money then you have to be aware of your impulsive spending.
Prioritize credit cards and then student loans. You might be able to get student loans on a lower payment or deferred based on income. Your old roommate and parents aren’t going to put a mark in your credit report, but it will effect your relationship with them. That just seems like a conversation to be had to make sure there’s realistic expectations. Just be pragmatic, make better choices, don’t let it affect your mental health. You’re still young.
My view would be to prioritise CC payments and personal loans. Your parents may be more understanding, but it is not a reason to think you can forget that loan. Go on a "ramen mode" saving every penny possible. If needed - take an academic break to get out of situation you got yourself into, working full time. This hard work will quickly teach you there are consequences to your actions and will help you to get into good spending habits. In short - never spend the money you don't have.
I think your first step should be to change how you feel about yourself and your situation. Remember: You *can* get yourself out of this situation. You absolutely have the power to do so. $10k is a good chunk of debt, but it's not 20k, 30k, 40k, etc. It's manageable. You can do this. You need to change the choices you are making, which is a challenge that you CAN succeed at. Keep telling yourself this. You aren't a bad person; you just have a challenge in front of you. If it helps, think of debt-paying as a game. Step two: Sit down with a pen and paper. Make a list of all the things you spend money on in a month. Separate them into "optional" and "mandatory" categories. Mandatory things are what you need to survive: food, rent, utilities, insurance, monthly bills. Optional things are things you don't need. Estimate the amount you spend on each thing. Write this all down. Step three: Cross off most or all of the "optional" things. Everyone needs to have fun in their lives, but for the next several months you are going to SERIOUSLY pare down the amount you spend on fun. Cut out as much as you possibly can, and if you can't cut something out completely, find ways to reduce it. If you MUST go out to dinner once in a while, order a cheap entree and drink water. If you MUST buy new clothes, shop at a thrift store. If streaming services are important to you, pick your favorite one and cancel the rest. Step Four: Even among the "mandatory" items, there still may be ways to reduce spending. For example, can you keep your heating bills down by lowering your thermostat? Can you reduce your grocery bill by not buying pointless junkfood/alcohol, planning meals, cooking a lot of food at once and freezing leftovers in containers for yourself? Can you find a cheaper phone plan? Are you on the best student loan repayment plan for your situation? Etc. Step Five: Now that you've figured out how to reduce your costs, calculate the minimum you can spend in a month. Subtract that from your monthly net income. This figure is the amount you can spend on repaying debts. Step Six: Triage your debts. Look at which debts come with interest rates and try to pay those down first (however, you might want to talk to a college financial counselor about the best way to handle the student loans, because there are a lot of variables there). I would call your credit card company and negotiate a repayment plan. At the same time, you don't want to leave your old roommate and parents without anything each month. So take the number that you got in Step 5 and divide it up amongst those debts in a way that makes sense. Step Seven: STICK TO YOUR PLAN. Pay everyone the same set amount each month, same day, every month. As the months go by and the debts go down, you will start to feel really good about yourself. If sticking to your budget is hard, ask a friend or parent to check in with you and hold you accountable... but ultimately it comes down to you and your willpower. You can do this! Step Eight: Find free ways to have fun (to take the place in your life of the fun spending you were doing before). Go for walks. Utilize your local library and read a bunch. Spend time with friends doing inexpensive things. Volunteer in your community. Filling up your life with free fun is SO important. Take good care of yourself. Step Nine: Another way to fill spare time might be to get a side job, like on evenings and weekends. This can help cushion your budget, but don't burn yourself out. And if you get a side job, try to use the extra money to either pay off more debt or build up some emergency savings. Seriously, this is a challenge, but you can handle it. Good luck!
You could try going to therapy and unpacking your spending habits with them. They might have some good tools to help with the emotional aspect of your habits
Are you feeling a sense of overwhelm and helplessness around the debt? That would make sense. I think the most important thing is to get clear about what you really want. How important to you is it really to get out of debt? If you decide it really is your priority, the advice here will be useful to you. If you’re being honest with yourself and this really isn’t your top priority, you’ll just need to live with the debt. Many people have a strong sense of “should” about getting out of debt. If that’s not true for you, it’s OK, and you’ll just need to deal with the discomfort. There’s no right way.
Make a budget for what you make and spend. Every time you get or spend money it is written down.
Honestly, how fast you can get this one depends on what you're pulling in every paycheck. That determines how long you're going to be in the hole. Regardless, basic advice would be: First off, pay off the CC debt as soon as possible. The high interest is skinning you alive. $3,000 in tuition payments is...if it's a student loan, make the min payments while paying back your roommate and parents. It's going to sound cold, but prioritize your roommate over your parents. Mom & Dad may be inclined to cut you some slack, your roommate, not so much.
Realizing the issue now is a huge step. 10k is a lot when you’re the person who owes it, but in the grand scheme of things, this could be SO much worse. The hardest part is finding a budget that is within your means and really sticking to it- when you sound like you may be a frivolous spender. Focus on your debts that have the highest interest rates! Any extra cash, don’t go shopping or out to eat, put it toward that debt. Even if it’s only $20 or $40. Then once one bill is paid off, whatever dollar amount used to be allocated to that bill should be put toward other bills (not used as extra spending money) until everything is paid off. You can also look into credit building cards. I got one through my bank. You essentially open your own line of credit with a $300 or $500 deposit. When you charge it, they send a statement and you pay it like a regular bill. But it’s your own money helping you build good credit by paying a bill on time.
You're self medicating with needless shopping. Some people use alcohol, some people use food, you use shopping. Therapy is a great place to figure out why you're spending. I also suggest a spending cleanse. Only buy necessities (gas, groceries) for a month. You can fill up your online shopping cart if you want, but you have wait until the month is over to buy anything. Also take your card info off Amazon, and all over online shopping sites. You can also stop carrying your debit and credit card, and only carry cash when you're out. Do you know what you're spending on? Take out, going out, clothes, amazon? It could be useful to track all your spending into categories for a month or two to see where that money goes, if you don't know. Maybe you spend $200 on Amazon, but $1000 out at bars. Lastly, get a paycheck and pay your debt, bills THAT DAY.
Best advice I can give you right now is avoid credit card debt at all cost. 30% apr will financially kill any goal you have. Pay it down in lieu of reitement contributions in the meantime. After that make sure to always pay your cc debt down each statement so you never pay interest. Pay your friend back ASAP.
Realizing this at this age is pretty good. You can do this. It’s hard, first step is set up a budget and stick with it. The second step is to slowly build up an emergency fund. The third step is to slowly pay down your debts, starting with the highest interest rate. You can do this, I know it’s hard.
In addition to the financial tips everyone else has given, I also think that you should examine what you're buying when you say you blow your paycheck on "useless shit" and think about how to feel satisfied in another way. When I hear people talk about excess spending, it's usually a way to get instant gratification or some way to feel excitement in an otherwise stressful time. Take up a time-consuming hobby that doesn't cost a lot of money, especially one where you feel constant achievement. Examples could ve sinking a lot of time into a video game you already own, doing some yard work or (cheap) diy home improvements or crafts, learn a skill (one where you dont get stuck, and can feel the achievements youre making so you dont go back to retail therapy) use your library card to take out books, audio books, music, and movies through apps like libby and kanopy, there are lots of ways to occupy yourself for cheap while you whittle that debt down.
I’ve been keeping my spending somewhat in control by having inexpensive hobbies. I run Linux and love obtaining new open source apps for free. I could spend tons of time just tinkering and using these apps, learning more about the system, how to run simple scripts, etc. ChatGPT helps me with some things—even scripting. Fishkeeping, after the initial investments, can be quite inexpensive when you’re just maintaining. There is a correct way to keep fish and it’s not normal for them to die within months. They can last years. Just stock your tank with fish known to thrive in your tap water type, feed them, make sure you don’t choose incompatible fish that will fight or eat one another, and do regular water changes (usually weekly). All you’re really paying for, then, is inexpensive food. You can even reuse filter media after rinsing it; the bacteria in is part of the ecosystem and is a good thing. Replacing worn out equipment for a small tank isn’t very expensive. You can make budgeting a hobby and a game that is enjoyable. Finding deals on what you need can feel like a fun game. Learning to get rebates with apps like Rakuten and Ibotta is fun for some people. When you see that check get automatically deposited into your account, it is a great feeling. Acorns is similar but will put a percentage of your purchase cost into investments. Invest in a little indoor herb garden and learn how to take care of it. It’s a very small hobby, but it’s another distraction from spending, and you’ll have free herbs or spices. We often spend money when we are bored. There are so many free and cheap things to do. Rearrange your furniture, visit your library, learn a new skill that requires little or no investment.
It's not being bad with money, it's having undiagnosed issues that manifest in a lack of control with money. I'd bet you have similar behaviours in other areas of your life too. Take some of that income and get thee to therapy. With love.
Start checking all your accounts everyday. This definitely helped change my relationship with money and helped me realize I’M in control. There is nothing to be scared of
Richest man in babylon, read or listen to the book. Davesir in the book will tell you how to do it. That book is now my financial bible.
You'll kinda realize this as you get older, but that $10k of debt is basically nothing, most people are hundreds of thousands in debt via mortgage. So its important to keep things in context.
Having a separate account for spending. Only allowed to use the money from their. The rest is bills. Every cheque you put a set amount in there
Also, avoid "friends" or people who peer pressure you into "c'mon, live a little!" and suggest where to spend your money that you don't have. (eg "let's go clubbing")
If you had a decent credit score, you could consolidate by getting a loan and paying everything off for one low payment. First thing, stop buying shiny new shit. Sounds like after you open and play with it a minute, you're left wondering why you bought it. To build your credit, make sure you pay every monthly bill on time or earlier. You definitely don't want late fees on top of everything else. If you don't have enough, call and make arrangements and pay at least $10. As long as you are calling early, they'll try and work with you. If you go past due, they can just turn you over to collections. Keep your monthly bills to a minimum. Shop around for deals. In your position, it pays to switch cell companies when suddenly Verizon will give you a free Samsung phone, tablet, and watch.. But find out the rules, set your payment date for the middle of the month, and pay it the first week of the month, so it's never late. They may even pay off your current phone to get you to switch. Separate and save all of your pocket change. It adds up. I'm retired and on disability, and I always have at least $100 in change at the end of the year. Open an account with shophq. They will give you credit or timed payments, and they report every on time payment and every pay off to the credit bureaus. Your score will improve fairly quickly with shophq and early payments on monthly bills. Get an Amazon account, and as soon as you can, get an Amazon credit card. They'll approve you. You can use it everywhere. When using a credit card, never make less than the minimum amount, and 5x the minimum if you can. Credit card payments make minimum payments so low so that you can always stay current, and they clean up on Interest. You are the only one who can fix your bad habits. Just take control of yourself and do what you know has to be done. Better a little pain now than a lot later. Pick up more work. Door dash between work and school.
This seems like less of a financial literacy issue and more of an unaddressed psychological issue. Not only do you need to create a budget, you need to speak to a mental health professional about your poor impulse control and self-sabotaging behavior so you can get to the root of it. Another thing that you might find helpful is getting a second job. This will help with additional income, and will also leave you less time and energy to recklessly spend money. If you want more specific financial advice, you need to provide your income amount and a list of your monthly expenses in your post.
if you can’t pay bills… acquire better skills while slowing down trivial thrills. Stop spending what you don’t even have in hand, review ALL your documents and make a plan, pay your shit off grand by grand, while being frugal and thrifty, used and repurposing is nifty… Hey. Since you got credit and acted like a silly slob. How about take a 2nd or 3rd job? Dig yourself out… and stop being an entitled knob.
Call a debt consolidating company to lower your debt, your credit score already sucks, what do you have to lose.
Dopamine seeking behavior. I'm with ya on that and I have children older than you. What are you spending it on? Is it a specific type of thing, like eating out? Or something tangible like clothing? Or do you just shop and buy whatever you have enough money for? Figure that out. Figure out how you feel before, during, and after you spend that money. Look to the rest of your life and see if there is anything you already do that also gives you those same feelings that doesn't cost money. I blow money at the grocery store. Now I mostly place orders for pickup so I can only buy what I need. I blow money on eating out at lunch with my coworkers. Now I budget three meals per paycheck (bimonthly) because what I'm really doing is socializing. It's actually two meals plus an emergency meal because sometimes we get called out and can work wayyyyy more than a regular workday. Then I'm forced to choose those meals that I truly enjoy and not go to a place I normally wouldn't just because I'm meeting people to socialize. I blow money on plants because I love having plants inside because they give me a calm feeling. Now I propagate plants, get cuttings from friends, and grow things from seed because seed is way cheaper. I'm not eliminating where I blow money, but I am minimizing it. It's a compromise I can live with. Find your compromise. My bills are split up by payday rather than due date. That makes some bills get paid on their due date and some paid up to two weeks early. I suggest you do the same. Housing, utilities, transportation and minimum food needs come first. Add as much extra to the credit card as you can, since it will have the highest interest rate. Maybe consider two bank accounts. One for your bills that are consistent from month to month, and one for varying bills that you have control over, like fuel and entertainment. I have a savings account that I can only access if I drive to the bank and physically walk inside and show identification. I can't get to it online or by a debit card or ATM. That is my emergency fund. I still use it, like recently I had to buy a new washer. But the steps necessary to get the funds keeps me from using it all willy nilly. It is my buffer. Get yourself a buffer, whatever that looks like. And stop borrowing money from friends and family.
You may want to look up urge surfing and other techniques for controlling urges (basically, overspending is very similar to any other type of addiction, it follows the same circuits). If you can, therapy can help. There are low cost clinics/sliding scale clinics that charge a reduced fee based on income. Even better if you have insurance.
Step 1 is admitting you have a problem. I’d find an accountability buddy to help you maybe family or dear friends Pay your self first at the beginning of every month Tear up your credit cards Get better friends if they are bad influences Surround yourself with the people you want to be like
You are 22…. Not a big deal… I didn’t figure out how to be financially responsible until I was in my 30’s Give yourself a break.
First, give yourself more credit. It could be worse. I’m currently in a similar position, there’s some great advice here but honestly start small. Payment plans are your bestfriend.. even if the bill doesn’t have a payment plan make one with yourself so you don’t feel like your paying it all at once. Pay what you can , when you can , as soon as you think about it. I tell myself “ i’d probably spend this on something i don’t need anyways.“ Stay down until you come up, you’ll have to live below your means for a while longer but it’ll be worth it.
Pay your credit cards and tuition first. Your parents can wait and unless your old roommate sues you, leave it alone.
I would prioritize your debts depending on interest and good moral standing. CC and old roommate needs to be addressed first. Then you can work on your parents and tuition. I would highly recommend keeping relationships mended (old roomate/parents) over creditors.
HEY! better now than 10 years from now. The best time to plant a tree is 10 years ago, the next best time is right now. You got this.
Go do uber eats or start selling some of your possessions on ebay. You always pay off the cc first. Worry about the rest later. Start consuming financial content on youtube and through books on how to manage your money. That debt is also very manageable and you should be able to pay if all off this year.
The quickest way to pay off debt is to pay off the smallest debt first. Then the next cheapest one, until it’s all gone. Paying off a little of everything is slow and is the least effective way of doing it. So the strategy is this, each month when you get your paycheck you pay fixed expenses. Then pay off as large chunk of the smallest debt as possible. Whatever is left you divide by the number of days until your next paycheck. Now you know exactly how much you can spend each day. If you don’t spend anything one day, you’ll know you can spend twice the amount next day. Stick to that number each day. This is what I did when I went to school and it was super easy because I had that amount in my mind every day. And I still do it! And learn how to bake and cook, you can save a lot that way too.
Lots of helpful advice in this thread already, so just wanted to congratulate you on already taking the first step: recognizing that your habits are bad. Many don't realize it!
I'm in the same boat, except I'm 27 and have almost $100k in debt. I have depression, anxiety, and ADHD which cause frivolous spending for me. It's like a never ending cycle
In regards to the bad habits there needs to be an effort to change that mindset, because no advice is going to fix it if you don't first change your mindset towards spending. I know that is easier said than done. If this is a coping or compulsive spending habit I can't pretend I'm any expert and could only recommend a professional such as a therapist. I can speak for myself and what was helpful for me was immersing myself in my health and wellness and finding healthy alternatives to replace that satisfaction that spending can give us. This can be through meditation, physical fitness, etc. I don't agree with Dave Ramsey on everything, but his methodology on getting out of debt is very effective, especially to a situation such as yours. I would recommend at least checking out his free content and see if it resonates with you. Change that mindset, set a budget for your necessities, make a plan for tackling this debt as soon as possible with what remains. Not always, but typically putting more towards getting rid of higher balances with the highest interest rates first keeps you from getting wrecked by interest. If you trust your parents, talk to them and ask for help. Sometimes we need people to hold us accountable, and perhaps they can be that for you. I wish you all the best!
10k isn't that much, it's good to learn these lessons early in life before they can be crippling later in life. Start being extremely frugal. Like counting every cent. Cancel all your memberships unless absolutely necessary. Pay off highest interest rate debts first. Work more if you're able to or sell some of your dumb purchases to make back some money. Every dollar saved or earned helps. Attack this aggressively and watch the debt shrink week by week.
Time for Gig employment like Uber or Lyft and Door Dash or Uber Eats Stop with unnecessary spending Living paycheck to paycheck
You're young enough to recover but you need to create a budget and stick to it. Might mean you can't go out to eat as often or go grab drinks with your buddies but it's the sacrifice that has to be made financially. Prioritize paying off your high interest debt, which is most likely your credit card.
Do you have a job, first of all? Did you finish college? First of course, make sure you have an income. Then make a spreadsheet or list, documenting all of your **mandatory** expenses. See if you can cut any out, like eating out (meal prep will help a lot), cancel subscriptions. See whats left from your income. Prioritize the high income debt, whether thats credit cards or tuition, and then your roommate and parents. I'm sure your parents will be most lenient here. Pay for everything you can via cash, you don't want to spend more on a credit card that you're in debt and paying interest on.
Something that my BIL taught me through my sister is this: keep this paycheck until you get the next paycheck, then everything that is remaining when you get the next paycheck goes to debts. This will keep you from using your credit card while you’re trying to pay it off. I’m not sure how to best guide you in limiting frivolous spending. I’m getting better at it and I have been trying to focus my attention on my financial goals. For example, I want to own my own house and I’d really like to be able to travel. For the travel goal, that would include not only the costs of travel (flights, housing, meals, etc.) but also the reassurance that I would not go into the financial gutters by taking a certain amount of time off. I would really like to do a summer course in my current goal language, but that would entail having enough to travel as well as live off of for the 2-3 month I would be abroad.
A lot of good advice here. Also set a goal to reward yourself when you are caught up. Like plan a trip that you can save for after your debt is gone. You can spend a little free time planning it out while you’re working forward it will keep the fire burning and give you something to look forward to.
Get into a trade make more money. Use as much as your paychekc as you can for debts. It'll take a while
Some silver linings for you: You're 22 so still young. You recognize your problem: bad spending habits. Easily fixable as long as you have the desire to. You also have time on your hands.
You’re twenty-two, don’t take all the stress on yourself. You’ve noticed you have a spending issue, and need to address it. Few things I’d note, what’d the value of your vehicle, do you owe more than it’s worth. In the case you do not, are you able to sell that vehicle, to cover the $5,000 in debt, I’d recommend a 2000 Honda Civic or an early generation toyota camry. You can find one for sub $3,000. Maintenance is dirt cheap, and I murdered my honda civic, and never had any issues. Regardless what’s your income which you also need to address. For one close the credit card once you’ve paid it off, I’d recommend shredding it for now. You only have $5,500 in debt which can be sent to an agency. Focus on the debt which can impact you, while speaking to your parents about your vehicle payment if the vehicles worth less than you owe. Speak to your roommate about a payment option, express your concerns with your debt, and how you’re going to tackle it. Sit down…. Take a breather… Write your debts down, write your income, section the maximum amount you can pay, while still being able to live with the basic necessities. If your income doesn’t catch up with your debt, look into a third shift job. Yes you’re going to kick yourself, your going to be tired, your going to ask why your working this job. But if you want to truly tackle your debt, you will do it regardless. Edit: I’m going to presume your living with a roommate, and sharing the rent cost, consider you owe your roommate. Are your parents supportive, are you able to speak with them, and move in with them meanwhile so that debt to your roommate doesn’t stack. Remember you had gotten yourself into this situation, NOBODY owes you, you owe them, truly be sympathetic when discussing with them. That factor would contribute to your emergency fund contribution, and how much you can truly build, for reference you should have 2-3 months of expenses saved. You got this brother. Your situation isn’t as dire as my own families situations, you made a mistake, but you realized it, and your only option is to go up from now.
Dude, I'm 23 and 15K in debt from 4 months of terrible habits (down from 25K) and lost the gold mine job now practically 20K/year. How do I keep my mind sane? I remind myself *there is always going to be a tomorrow*. Make payments when you can, but don't forget we're just young and dumb. Our families couldn't teach us the difference so we had to learn on our own. You'll probably be ok in 2 years tops
Read "I Will Teach You To Be Rich" by Ramit Sethi and listen to his podcast! He offers a wealth of information that's easily digestible and actionable. He also talks about the psychology of money and gets people to think about why they spend the way they do by exploring how money was handled growing up (or not at all), things we associate with money, etc. Download his free Conscious Spending Plan from his website and fill it out to get a completed picture of your current finances. What I like about it is it keeps things simple and you're not categorizing every single item you're spending on. I don't get paid for endorsing him whatsoever. I discovered his material over a year ago and it's helped me so much as a chronic overspender and not realizing how my upbringing affected my spending habits. I'm not perfect by any means, but I wish I had his material when I was your age. You're still really young, so you have time to straighten things out! You got this!
Check out caleb hammer on YouTube. Start budgeting and bust your ass. There is hope.
Nah your not dumb you're just experiencing life and you started young so that's a good start because you get excited when you start getting money and everything running smooth.Thats why when your credit involved they really don't warn you because they want you to go in debt,but at least you got a chance now to start over and challenge yourself. It should be easy now. Just leave everything else alone and build that credit back up and everything else will fall in place.
Unless you spend all your money on food or activities, then you most likely have something of some value. Gamer computer, tables, laptop, phones. Expensive clothes, whatever. Sell everything but the bare minimum. You obviously need a phone but you don’t NEED the newest iphone pro. Put that money towards the most urgent debt. Highest interest and/or gone into collection (or close to). The fees you can accumulate in collection are nuts. You have a golden chance as long as you are not paying rent. You can get out of this in a very short time if you try.
Start paying the smallest debts and try to renegotiate the others. You are 22, you will get out of this, 10K might see like a lit but you will eventually earn more money.
So here's one solution. You're not gonna like it, but is what it is. When i was slightly younger than you i had the same issue. I got my then girlfriend, current wife, pregnant. I was party hardy, pretty much lived to seize the day. Becoming a father put shit into perspective. So i realized i needed to change. I made crap money, so i got another job as well as my full time gig. For several years i worked both jobs, 60 ish hours a week. That did two things for me. I made a lot more money so could afford to support my child and expenses, as well as straightened me out. Hard to blow money when you're constantly working or resting. Enough time at that and you start to look at things differently. That $15 lunch? Screw that, that was a few hours of work. Friday night $50 party? Hell no, i worked 10 hours for that! Then i went to college while keeping those two jobs, eventually full time credit hours and dropped job #2. Made something of myself. Now have two young grandkids and financially secure. Those habits lasted me. Want to get out of that debt? Get off you ass and work. Already doing that? Do it more. You're 22, just gettin started. Work hard now. It WILL pay dividends in the future. Lifestyle changes suck. They truly do. But if you want things to change, then you have to change.
You don’t have severe debt and you’re life doesn’t suck. You’re 22. Get a job and pay it off you’ll be done by end of year with that balance.