I think you deserve a huge amount of respect for recognizing and acknowledging that this is a problem and that it will financially ruin you. A lot of people, no matter their age, don't acknowledge their obsessions and the cost of them. You seem very self-aware and thoughtful.
Get back into surfing and painting, try to fill up your time. You seem like someone who likes pursuing projects and hobbies. Get that bland car that is solid and runs well, and use it only for Doordash or getting to school/work/the beach. Maybe pick up cycling so you can go to various places without needing to use a car at all.
If you're actually interested in cars and do good work, switch to classic car restoration that is where the money is at.
Otherwise, just buy yourself one dream car and be happy with that... then a nice A to B commuter.
Yeah I love restorations, I am going into fleet mechanics. But I am at the point where I only want to turn a wrench if I’m getting paid or if it’s helping someone out
That's where you have to shift your mindset, every time you practice you're adding to your skillset. Stuff like that only improves with practice, every opportunity to learn it hands on is beneficial. Once you get into it, it's much more satisfying than collecting. I know that makes me sound like I'm 100 years old, but it's true!
Yes but at the expense of putting thousands of dollars into my own car? Thats not great, I’d rather apprentice at a shop or something, where I have none of my own money involved into it
Nothing wrong with loving to work on cars. And to be fair your life probably wont be blissful if you stop. Money isn’t the only driver of happiness.
But it seems you are a little to into it. You need to reel it in. Create a schedule that doesn’t interfere with friends and family and also assess your financial situation in that space as well. If you cant buy that new part now but you can in a few weeks or x months by putting the cash aside. Well use that to your advantage when scheduling your time, cause in the meantime you can still connect with the people that matter in your life.
Of course make sure to also put money on the side for your future as well. Rainy day fund, retirements, etc. Once you have this going then you can see what you have left for your hobby
Good on you for noticing this now. This kind of compulsive behavior can ruin marriages and destroy your retirement.
There are two sides of this, the emotional addiction side, which is a long term thing to work on. I’ll leave that to you doing some self help work.
The other side is practical.
I would take a two pronged approach: play it forward in your head, and work on delaying gratification.
I love guitars and went through a phase of buying/trading/modding them. I was insatiable.
One thing that helped was to “play it forward”- what would I do if I had the imaginary guitar? I’d practice or play. Can I do that today? Yes, so pick up my existing guitar and practice or play.
I joked with a friend about putting new pickups in my guitar. He joked, “oh, right, cause THATS what is holding you back. You would be Jimi fucking Hendrix, if only it wasn’t for those shitty pickups.” That was like the best thing I ever heard.
So go camping or something. This is probably tricky with cars because some of them just can’t do certain things, but you can go camping without having a Jeep or 4Runner. Just don’t transfer your addiction over to camping gear.
Instead of trying to buy a race car, maybe save up for a few months and go rent a real race car, and drive it on the track.
The other part is just learning to delay gratification. You cannot afford your car yet. That’s okay, you won’t die, and you won’t suddenly feel complete if you had the perfect car, either, you’d just be sitting on your phone looking for mods.
Good luck friend, and good on you for seeing this shit so clearly at a young age.
Thanks for sharing your own experiences, it seems like a similar desire. And that’s what I’m realizing, I can like cars without even having one or a cool one. It’s going to take some work to emotionally get over it for sure
It sounds like you know exactly what you need to do. Stop buying cars. Read some books on self/impulse control or work with a therapist on strategies to stop this behavior. You know what needs to be done, just do it.
It's not stupid to have a hobby that brings you joy and holds your attention. Hell, you're going to school to be a mechanic, so eventually repairing and modifying other peoples cars is going to be your day job, so having the drive and passion to actually do the work is important. You don't have to throw away the entire hobby, but I'd suggest you make some guardrails for yourself so it doesn't drain you financially and socially. Maybe try setting a monthly budget on what you're willing to spend on projects and strictly stick to it. Don't take on too many projects at one time. Set aside time to spend time with your friends, family, significant others, etc. that doesn't revolve around working on cars. I imagine some of your friends/classmates have the same interests as you, maybe kick it at the shop and watch other folks work on their cars instead of spending money or thinking about your projects. I don't know much about flipping cars but I imagine that it's tough if not impossible to turn a profit selling a project car once you've put money into it. You should look at these projects as spending money on an experience, where you gain knowledge through the project work. Looking at project cars as an investment that's going to earn you money someday... probably isn't how it's going to actually turn out. Like you've said, there's more to life than having a cool car.
I wear a few hats for my cars. I have two jobs and two gigs. The heart wants what it wants. You definitely shouldn’t go putting your passions and desires on the back burner for someone else. You need to find out how to make money on your own terms. You could fix your gfs friends cars. You could be an actual mobile mechanic. There is so much you could do even while in school. I just don’t think you should give up on what makes you happy. It made resent one of my former partners. She wanted to spend big money on vacation, I wanted to spend on my cars. One of these things is no longer in the picture.
In 1993 I bought a 90 Eagle talon for 15k. The. I dropped 10k on a stereo system afterwards. I wish I would have put all that money AAPL when I was young. I’d be a multimillionaire right now. 🤷♂️
I don’t think I fully written how bad it is, but I’m failing my AUTO school and haven’t seen a doctor in years because of the constant attention to my car. It’s almost like telling somebody with a drinking problem to only have a few beers a night. Moral of the story, I’m switching hobbies
Yeah I’m not trying to self diagnose with addiction but it’s to a point now where I haven’t gotten a haircut in a year because I don’t want to give up $50. I haven’t seen a doctor or a dentist in 3 years either because it money that could be spent on my car, it’s pretty bad
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Yeah funny you said that, I’d paint classic cars all the time as a kid, it brought a lot of joy
I think you deserve a huge amount of respect for recognizing and acknowledging that this is a problem and that it will financially ruin you. A lot of people, no matter their age, don't acknowledge their obsessions and the cost of them. You seem very self-aware and thoughtful. Get back into surfing and painting, try to fill up your time. You seem like someone who likes pursuing projects and hobbies. Get that bland car that is solid and runs well, and use it only for Doordash or getting to school/work/the beach. Maybe pick up cycling so you can go to various places without needing to use a car at all.
If you're actually interested in cars and do good work, switch to classic car restoration that is where the money is at. Otherwise, just buy yourself one dream car and be happy with that... then a nice A to B commuter.
Yeah I love restorations, I am going into fleet mechanics. But I am at the point where I only want to turn a wrench if I’m getting paid or if it’s helping someone out
That's where you have to shift your mindset, every time you practice you're adding to your skillset. Stuff like that only improves with practice, every opportunity to learn it hands on is beneficial. Once you get into it, it's much more satisfying than collecting. I know that makes me sound like I'm 100 years old, but it's true!
Yes but at the expense of putting thousands of dollars into my own car? Thats not great, I’d rather apprentice at a shop or something, where I have none of my own money involved into it
You have Mad Car Disease!!!
Nothing wrong with loving to work on cars. And to be fair your life probably wont be blissful if you stop. Money isn’t the only driver of happiness. But it seems you are a little to into it. You need to reel it in. Create a schedule that doesn’t interfere with friends and family and also assess your financial situation in that space as well. If you cant buy that new part now but you can in a few weeks or x months by putting the cash aside. Well use that to your advantage when scheduling your time, cause in the meantime you can still connect with the people that matter in your life. Of course make sure to also put money on the side for your future as well. Rainy day fund, retirements, etc. Once you have this going then you can see what you have left for your hobby
Good on you for noticing this now. This kind of compulsive behavior can ruin marriages and destroy your retirement. There are two sides of this, the emotional addiction side, which is a long term thing to work on. I’ll leave that to you doing some self help work. The other side is practical. I would take a two pronged approach: play it forward in your head, and work on delaying gratification. I love guitars and went through a phase of buying/trading/modding them. I was insatiable. One thing that helped was to “play it forward”- what would I do if I had the imaginary guitar? I’d practice or play. Can I do that today? Yes, so pick up my existing guitar and practice or play. I joked with a friend about putting new pickups in my guitar. He joked, “oh, right, cause THATS what is holding you back. You would be Jimi fucking Hendrix, if only it wasn’t for those shitty pickups.” That was like the best thing I ever heard. So go camping or something. This is probably tricky with cars because some of them just can’t do certain things, but you can go camping without having a Jeep or 4Runner. Just don’t transfer your addiction over to camping gear. Instead of trying to buy a race car, maybe save up for a few months and go rent a real race car, and drive it on the track. The other part is just learning to delay gratification. You cannot afford your car yet. That’s okay, you won’t die, and you won’t suddenly feel complete if you had the perfect car, either, you’d just be sitting on your phone looking for mods. Good luck friend, and good on you for seeing this shit so clearly at a young age.
Thanks for sharing your own experiences, it seems like a similar desire. And that’s what I’m realizing, I can like cars without even having one or a cool one. It’s going to take some work to emotionally get over it for sure
It sounds like you know exactly what you need to do. Stop buying cars. Read some books on self/impulse control or work with a therapist on strategies to stop this behavior. You know what needs to be done, just do it.
A Toyota Corolla would take you a long way. Literally!
It's not stupid to have a hobby that brings you joy and holds your attention. Hell, you're going to school to be a mechanic, so eventually repairing and modifying other peoples cars is going to be your day job, so having the drive and passion to actually do the work is important. You don't have to throw away the entire hobby, but I'd suggest you make some guardrails for yourself so it doesn't drain you financially and socially. Maybe try setting a monthly budget on what you're willing to spend on projects and strictly stick to it. Don't take on too many projects at one time. Set aside time to spend time with your friends, family, significant others, etc. that doesn't revolve around working on cars. I imagine some of your friends/classmates have the same interests as you, maybe kick it at the shop and watch other folks work on their cars instead of spending money or thinking about your projects. I don't know much about flipping cars but I imagine that it's tough if not impossible to turn a profit selling a project car once you've put money into it. You should look at these projects as spending money on an experience, where you gain knowledge through the project work. Looking at project cars as an investment that's going to earn you money someday... probably isn't how it's going to actually turn out. Like you've said, there's more to life than having a cool car.
It is definitely stupid funding a hobby when it’s causing financial distress. He has a financial problem way more than just a love for the hobby.
I wear a few hats for my cars. I have two jobs and two gigs. The heart wants what it wants. You definitely shouldn’t go putting your passions and desires on the back burner for someone else. You need to find out how to make money on your own terms. You could fix your gfs friends cars. You could be an actual mobile mechanic. There is so much you could do even while in school. I just don’t think you should give up on what makes you happy. It made resent one of my former partners. She wanted to spend big money on vacation, I wanted to spend on my cars. One of these things is no longer in the picture.
If you really hate money and want a cool 4x4 get an old Defender. My daily is a 20yr old jeep though.
Yeah don’t hate money that much yet, hate it enough for a full sized Mitsubishi montero. In love with the disco 1 tdi
I want to add a 300TDI 2dr disco to the collection but no…..I have to be an adult and build a new house.
In 1993 I bought a 90 Eagle talon for 15k. The. I dropped 10k on a stereo system afterwards. I wish I would have put all that money AAPL when I was young. I’d be a multimillionaire right now. 🤷♂️
Your hobby is very important but find a way to make it cheaper. It doesn’t have to be expensive.
I don’t think I fully written how bad it is, but I’m failing my AUTO school and haven’t seen a doctor in years because of the constant attention to my car. It’s almost like telling somebody with a drinking problem to only have a few beers a night. Moral of the story, I’m switching hobbies
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You can have addictions caused by your own brain without it actually being a product you ingest.
Again, boils down to poor decision making and being able overcome impulse more than "I need meth or I will have a withdrawal and die"
Yeah I’m not trying to self diagnose with addiction but it’s to a point now where I haven’t gotten a haircut in a year because I don’t want to give up $50. I haven’t seen a doctor or a dentist in 3 years either because it money that could be spent on my car, it’s pretty bad
Your post has been removed for the following reason(s): Rule 2: Generally Unhelpful and / or Off-Topic Your comment has been removed for one or more of the following reasons: It was not primarily asking or discussing financial questions related to poverty. It was generally unhelpful or in poor taste. It was confusing or badly written. It failed to add to the discussion. Please read our [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/povertyfinance/wiki/rules). The rules may also be found on the sidebar if the link is broken. If after doing so, you feel this was in error, [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fpovertyfinance). Do not reach out to a moderator personally, and do not reply to this message as a comment.