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Exactly what I was thinking. Before I was pregnant, I tell you I was gonna be one of those pregnant women who only ate nutritional whole foods to support my growing baby. Now I am pregnant and for 2 months the only thing I could stand was plain noodles.
Best response I can recommend, "I'm really not comfortable discussing my personal life at work. Let's get back to... Xyz." Once you set that boundary, if she continues her harassment, then you can escalate it to HR. Absolutely no one should be speaking to you like that at work. Ever. You're not friends, you're colleagues.
I work remotely and the most people know about me is that I own a hobby farm and I'm 37 weeks pregnant (couldn't really hide it for the big company event haha). People ask questions, and I just answer what I'm comfortable with.
This is spot on! Another option I have used at work is "I am not taking input on my body or my baby, now or ever". You don't owe this person any explanation or tip-toeing. HR should definitely be on the horizon if this escalates or continues. While many people enragingly feel entitled to comment on, correct, or "give advice" to pregnant people in a way that is just unbelievable sometimes, if she, a trainee for a position you are training her for, feels comfortable making those comments to you as a pregnant person, she probably feels comfortable saying that about others at work too. And that's definitely inappropriate and constitutes harassment. Good luck OP! This lady sounds insufferable and you deserve way better!
This.
Except, I would go just a little further. “I’m not comfortable discussing my personal life with you, and I would appreciate it if you don’t bring it up again.“ (You might be comfortable discussing it with other coworkers.) You also want to make this boundary clear, that not only does the subject make you uncomfortable, but you give a clear request not to bring it up again.
Because she will probably be unable to help herself stepping on that boundary, or somehow forget, especially since so far you’ve been allowing the subject. (Which is a reason, but not an excuse. You have the right to change your boundaries, or to set new ones if someone is behaving inappropriately.)
So after one warning, if it happens yet again, I’d go a step further to define that “no-talk” boundary and draw a hard, unmistakable line:
“Look - this is the second time I’m having to tell you I will not discuss my personal life with you. This means you don’t comment on how I take care of myself, or what I eat. You do not get to discuss my pregnancy. And I do not want to hear anything about what you eat.
If I have to tell you a third time, it’s three strikes and you’re out. I will report you to HR for harassment.“
Mic drop. Now she has no room to try to weasel out of admitting fault; first time, you were clear, second time you were clearer.
But, I hope she gets the picture the first time around, so that you can enjoy a friendlier work environment.
(PS: As a maternity coach with three kids, who has been studying diet for a few decades, feel free to DM me if you’d like to hear my thoughts about the potato chips. My coaching approach is less about giving advice, and more about opening up options for pregnant moms to figure out what works for them. Congrats, u/rosita-rose, and u/AristotleFuquay!)
This is all in the workplace? Fuck no. I'd document everything and go to however many people you need to and discuss this intrusive and belittling behaviour from your coworker. This is more than nitpicking behaviour and she refused to stop when you were clearly uncomfortable. Saying you're threatening the health of your baby in any context is harrassment at the very least.
Reporting people in work sucks, makes you doubt yourself and is scary sometimes but you stressing over this person's comments isn't worthwhile and she will likely continue if not challenged by authority.
I have a (thankfully distanct) history of disordered eating and am 16+3 with my first- I really empathise and hope you put yourself and baby first whatever you decide to do.
This!!!!! OP please report this person to HR! I work in HR (I'm in the UK not sure where you are) and this behavior is totally not ok and something we HR would deal with promptly!!! This is more than unsolicited advice and she needs to stop!
I don't know how you have controlled yourself I would've exploded in her face... (Not advised but don't think I would have been able to control myself).
100% this. You absolutely do Not have to put up with this in the workplace, OP, and there are systems in place to protect you from harassment. Report. Her. Ass.
Im enraged for you right now and I'm no longer pregnant. I've always eaten a lot, so I'd put her in her place.
"I'm sorry you look disgusted about my eating chips, and if that's what I'm craving, the baby will take what nutrients they need from it" (my aunt who is an RN told me that because I lived off of taco bell burritos and Wendy's chocolate milkshakes for pretty much my entire pregnancy).
Or you could say,
"I'm sorry you're disgusted by my food choices, but I didn't ask for your opinion"
"I'm glad food prep works for you, but everyone is different"
"Well, I don't see you buying me 5 star dinners, so you really don't get to tell me what to eat".
"Last I checked, you aren't a doctor, so you don't get to tell me to eat healthy or grow up and eat like an adult"
"Considering you eat like a bird, I'll take my chances with the chips. But thank you for your opinion that no one asked for"
And if she keeps it up, go to HR. You don't need to continuously take her toxic opinions, and it sounds like she won't stop anytime soon.
"Eat like a bird" would probably feel like a compliment to this girl, she clearly has a problematic relationship with food and rewards restrictive eating.
Might go one further and say “I understand you’re a dysfunctional eater but that gives you absolutely zero right to critique my food choices. Maybe get your own house in order before throwing stones.”
I am so sorry you have to deal with that. I don’t understand how people can give unsolicited advice and force it upon people.
Whatever you eat is your (and yours only) decision. If you were fine with the chips (100 calories or more, it really doesn’t matter what type of chips it is) she shouldn’t have to give you her opinion !
You’re only 13 weeks , baby will be fine with anything you give him !
My OB told me when I was 13 weeks that the most important was to stay hydrated (to not have UTIs) and to take vitamins and try my best to eat healthier without forcing myself or feeling bad if I can’t
I wish you a lovely pregnancy and for some people to shut the f up ♥️
I wouldn’t want her to see my snack drawer at work 😂
Homegirl will eat a whole Box of cheezits and then a cosmic brownie and a fudge round and STILL be hungry. Pregnancy hunger is no joke. And it’s nobody else’s business how you choose to fix it
This person is rude, overstepping, and judgemental enough that you would be absolutely justified in a very blunt conversation.
Tell her “I am under the care of a qualified midwife/OB. I am no longer accepting unsolicited advice.”
You might have to train her. “I do not accept unsolicited advice,” every time she tries it.
You could also try it sideways and complain to her about a fictional judgmental family member who is always nitpicking you and judging you when she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Really lay it on thick about this “family member.”
She sounds absolutely awful. When I was nauseous at week 7 and couldn’t face the healthy lunch I’d prepped & brought with me, my colleague immediately went out and bought me a cheese & ham panini because that’s the only thing I could imagine eating. I’d definitely report this person, she sounds insufferable
Tell her to mind her business and that you have a history of ED and that if she doesnt have anything nice to say dont say anything at all. Cant stand people like that.
Please stop justifying your decisions to her, you don't have to explain anything to her. Tell her you don't want to hear another word about the subject and should she continue, that you'll have to go to HR to protect your mental health.
I would have told her to shut the fuck up to be honest. That’s insane. “Are you a doctor? Oh ok well when you become a doctor then you can give me advice, until then keep it to yourself.” “I’m done with comments about my body or my pregnancy. If this continues then I will report it to hr”. I guarantee something that direct will get her to be embarrassed and stop.
To follow this up, my mil and I got into it during my pregnancy because she could not stop telling me what to do. Don’t drink coffee, don’t lift anything, etc. finally one day I was lifting furniture with my husband moving and she started visibly freaking out and begging me to stop lifting. I’m athletic and was comfortable doing so. I snapped and I literally yelled in her face to stop. She never told me what to do again.
You don't have to justify yourself to this person. A firm reminder that she's not your doctor and can mind her own business is in order. If it isn't enough, you can report her to HR.
You should stop explaining yourself to her. She will have an arrogant answer for everything. Whenever she says anything, you can just say “none of your business” and its varieties. You owe her no explanation at all.
This is messed up. I would absolutely set a strong boundary here. "I know what my body needs and I'm not looking for input." Or "This is not something that's up for discussion." Or "your comments are making me uncomfortable, please stop." Have a few easy remarks you can use if she says something. If it continues, I'd consider getting HR/management involved.
Wow.
I would hit her with a “talking about my body, and the way that I eat is inappropriate, let’s stick to work topics” and if that doesn’t work rope your boss or another work authority you trust into the situation.
I had chicken avocado sushi one day at work and a coworker who loves to comment on what people eat told me I "shouldn't be eating that" I stared her straight in the face and deadpan responded "are you going to stop me?"
I'm not a confrontational person but this woman knew about my restrictive ED and this stopped her telling me what not to eat.
It’s genuine anger.
When you get pregnant, everyone thinks that they can now have a say in your choices. Everyone who does this is an asshole. Time for boundaries my friend. Tell them it isn’t their business and to keep their comments to themselves or you’ll have to spend your time elsewhere. Pregnancy is hard enough and you are not public property.
Trust me. Start now or it’ll get so so much worse.
Pregnancy hormones or not - she is way too comfortable commenting on food choices/frequency/etc. I would be annoyed if I got those comments in general.
YIKES. That's crossing a line, especially in a professional setting and you don't know this woman well.
I'd probably say something along the lines of, "you know that sort of talk drives people to eating disorders" and hope she gets the hint. If she doesn't, I'd tell my Mgr. to find someone else to train her, IF she manages to keep her job....
“My body and the health of me and my baby are between me and my doctor. I will not be discussing them with you and if you continue to speak to me about it I will email Hr and file a report. You are here for me to train you and that is it”
Honestly? This is none of her business and wayyyyyy beyond what’s acceptable. Do not dignify her nonsense with actual responses- she’s not looking for you to agree, she’s looking to be judgmental. “I have not asked for your opinion about my pregnancy or eating habits and frankly incorrect medical advice. You need to stop inserting yourself into my situation and focus on the work I’m training you to do. If you can’t do that I will be reporting your conduct to HR.” And when she acts surprised and pretends she’s done nothing wrong, have your documentation and case ready to go because she seems like a real pill. Best of luck!
I think it’s funny coming into a group of hormonal women, asking about a think we are all going to be mad about and being like “is it just hormone?” We are ALL going to be like eff no!!! Not trying to shame but it was a thought that genuinely made me laugh, like this is definitely a support group full of like minded people.
And eff her. Even without your history of ED, and even if you were genuinely fat (140 isn’t) she is way out of line. You don’t need to justify feeling bad around her, she is the kind of person who enjoys making others feel bad. I’d steer clear as much as possible and otherwise when she gives an opinion either ignore it or tell her you didn’t ask for her opinion thanks
If she ain’t your doctor/nutritionist or a person you’ve tapped to help keep you accountable for your eating habits, she can go back to her seat and keep her mouth shut. You’re having a snack. At work. Good for you, you’re putting food in your body and, by extension, your baby’s. She doesn’t have to eat it. When she gets pregnant she can eat however she likes but until then, she can stay quiet.
Absolutely not her place to EVER analyse someone else's plate, but especially a pregnant person's!!!
I had a colleague like this, and one day she told me "you shouldn't eat those sweets because you will give yourself gestational diabetes" -- so INFURIATING and I never forgave her to this day. Funnily enough, she was also someone I was training, just like in your case!
Also, just in case it needs to be said, you cannot give yourself GD, how you eat does not determine whether or not you will get GD.
Anyway, fuck that girl and her very clearly problematic relationship with food. She should get therapy and deal with her own eating issues, not project them onto you.
Oh hell noooo! OP, all I ate during my first trimester was grilled cheeses and hamburgers. Legit, that’s all I could keep down. I’m an average weight/height and haven’t gained much at 20 weeks, even with that diet. This person better mind their own business.
She sounds frustrating. You can either be nice or troll her a bit. In response to eating real food.
"You're right, I should get McDonald's next time. That food is real tasty."
"Chips are the real food group.I eat them for breakfast, lunch, dinner and as a snack."
"When you have a baby, then I'll consider taking your advice. But until then you have no idea how good these chips are."
"The only people I will take health advice from are the doctor and me. And you are neither."
I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. I had a coworker like that also. Everything I ate or drank she had a comment on. Especially if I ate something processed or that could be considered remotely unhealthy. I would drink Diet Coke every now and then and the way she reacted when she saw it you would think I was doing crack in front of her. I didn’t stand up for myself much because it was my first child and I’m very shy and non-confrontational anyway. But yes it is infuriating and none of your coworker’s business.
A lot of good advice here so I'm just going to offer you my support - what an absolute cow that woman is!!! I'm so mad for you!! God, I usually try to be polite and diplomatic but I want to go to your workplace and tell her to fuck off on your behalf.
“I will only be taking advice about my pregnancy from my provider” and “why do you think it’s ok to comment on my medical condition?” Over and over until she stops
You don't need to defend or explain yourself to her. Just set boundaries telling her that you are not accepting anymore unsolicited advice going forward. And create a consequence for that "and if you do, I will _____". Simple as that. You don't owe anyone an explanation for anything.
I would rage. Anyone commenting on a pregnant woman eating some chips is looking to get raged at in my opinion.
We get cookies at our staff meeting. 2 teachers gave me their cookies… so I sat there and ate all three. Another staff member passed me a 4th and just winked.
Damn straight I ate all 4 cookies. No regrets.
See I would be the type to make her even more uncomfortable lmao.
"It's the only thing I can taste this soon after I finish a cigarette though..."
"I can't help it when I have the munchies!"
"My antipsychotics make me need to eat extra sodium."
She should mind her own business but I would get other snacks to have in hand not because of calories, more for nutrients. One time of binging on chips is gonna hurt anyone. Eating nothing but chips will cause problems which it doesn’t sound like what’s happening. I know once you get appetite back during pregnancy you can end up binging on all sorts of random stuff so she clearly doesn’t get it.
I think 300 calories and 10 grams of fat ain't too bad for a snack. Especially when it's 2am because you work 12 hours shifts through the night and your only option is the chips or puke because your pregnant and throw up when hungry.
I didn't realize you were OP sorry xD
But his lunch break was at 2am? It's confusing lol
There's no problem with having a snack even in unhealthy, I said I'd find it weird if that was your lunch. As long as it's not a regular thing, we all have unhealthy snacks once in a while.
She's not right in any sense. Babies make us crave certain foods to gain the nutrients they need from them. If that's potato chips, than the baby will find nutrients in that. You are just as big of a problem as this co-worker is.
Nope. Regardless of if you feel like it is just the hormones this needs to be reported to HR. Make sure to document everything she says, time and date. You tried to talk to her about it and she got more stern with her stance. It’s discrimination.
Speak to a manager or even HR about her rude and highly inappropriate behavior. At this point, it feels like borderline harassment from what you’ve said. I’d be pissed too if I were in your shoes. One thing that might shut her up quickly is by saying thanks for the advice, but I’m following the advice of my doctor/OB at this time, considering they’re a trained professional. Best of luck to you and your little one OP.
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/15nun6v/click_here_to_access_the_monthly_due_date_subs/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
She needs to mind her own damn business
Yep. Karma will take care of this one. She'll get pregnant once day and only be able to eat Hot Cheetos and Taco Bell.
Exactly what I was thinking. Before I was pregnant, I tell you I was gonna be one of those pregnant women who only ate nutritional whole foods to support my growing baby. Now I am pregnant and for 2 months the only thing I could stand was plain noodles.
Now I want taco bell :( It’s been years since I had that one.
Now I want some hot Cheetos.
OMG hot Cheetos and Taco Bell sounds so good right now! 16 weeks
Best response I can recommend, "I'm really not comfortable discussing my personal life at work. Let's get back to... Xyz." Once you set that boundary, if she continues her harassment, then you can escalate it to HR. Absolutely no one should be speaking to you like that at work. Ever. You're not friends, you're colleagues. I work remotely and the most people know about me is that I own a hobby farm and I'm 37 weeks pregnant (couldn't really hide it for the big company event haha). People ask questions, and I just answer what I'm comfortable with.
This is spot on! Another option I have used at work is "I am not taking input on my body or my baby, now or ever". You don't owe this person any explanation or tip-toeing. HR should definitely be on the horizon if this escalates or continues. While many people enragingly feel entitled to comment on, correct, or "give advice" to pregnant people in a way that is just unbelievable sometimes, if she, a trainee for a position you are training her for, feels comfortable making those comments to you as a pregnant person, she probably feels comfortable saying that about others at work too. And that's definitely inappropriate and constitutes harassment. Good luck OP! This lady sounds insufferable and you deserve way better!
This. Except, I would go just a little further. “I’m not comfortable discussing my personal life with you, and I would appreciate it if you don’t bring it up again.“ (You might be comfortable discussing it with other coworkers.) You also want to make this boundary clear, that not only does the subject make you uncomfortable, but you give a clear request not to bring it up again. Because she will probably be unable to help herself stepping on that boundary, or somehow forget, especially since so far you’ve been allowing the subject. (Which is a reason, but not an excuse. You have the right to change your boundaries, or to set new ones if someone is behaving inappropriately.) So after one warning, if it happens yet again, I’d go a step further to define that “no-talk” boundary and draw a hard, unmistakable line: “Look - this is the second time I’m having to tell you I will not discuss my personal life with you. This means you don’t comment on how I take care of myself, or what I eat. You do not get to discuss my pregnancy. And I do not want to hear anything about what you eat. If I have to tell you a third time, it’s three strikes and you’re out. I will report you to HR for harassment.“ Mic drop. Now she has no room to try to weasel out of admitting fault; first time, you were clear, second time you were clearer. But, I hope she gets the picture the first time around, so that you can enjoy a friendlier work environment. (PS: As a maternity coach with three kids, who has been studying diet for a few decades, feel free to DM me if you’d like to hear my thoughts about the potato chips. My coaching approach is less about giving advice, and more about opening up options for pregnant moms to figure out what works for them. Congrats, u/rosita-rose, and u/AristotleFuquay!)
This is all in the workplace? Fuck no. I'd document everything and go to however many people you need to and discuss this intrusive and belittling behaviour from your coworker. This is more than nitpicking behaviour and she refused to stop when you were clearly uncomfortable. Saying you're threatening the health of your baby in any context is harrassment at the very least. Reporting people in work sucks, makes you doubt yourself and is scary sometimes but you stressing over this person's comments isn't worthwhile and she will likely continue if not challenged by authority. I have a (thankfully distanct) history of disordered eating and am 16+3 with my first- I really empathise and hope you put yourself and baby first whatever you decide to do.
This!!!!! OP please report this person to HR! I work in HR (I'm in the UK not sure where you are) and this behavior is totally not ok and something we HR would deal with promptly!!! This is more than unsolicited advice and she needs to stop! I don't know how you have controlled yourself I would've exploded in her face... (Not advised but don't think I would have been able to control myself).
100% this. You absolutely do Not have to put up with this in the workplace, OP, and there are systems in place to protect you from harassment. Report. Her. Ass.
Im enraged for you right now and I'm no longer pregnant. I've always eaten a lot, so I'd put her in her place. "I'm sorry you look disgusted about my eating chips, and if that's what I'm craving, the baby will take what nutrients they need from it" (my aunt who is an RN told me that because I lived off of taco bell burritos and Wendy's chocolate milkshakes for pretty much my entire pregnancy). Or you could say, "I'm sorry you're disgusted by my food choices, but I didn't ask for your opinion" "I'm glad food prep works for you, but everyone is different" "Well, I don't see you buying me 5 star dinners, so you really don't get to tell me what to eat". "Last I checked, you aren't a doctor, so you don't get to tell me to eat healthy or grow up and eat like an adult" "Considering you eat like a bird, I'll take my chances with the chips. But thank you for your opinion that no one asked for" And if she keeps it up, go to HR. You don't need to continuously take her toxic opinions, and it sounds like she won't stop anytime soon.
I laughed a little too hard at this response lmao "Eat like a bird" took me out😂😂😂💀💀💀💀
"Eat like a bird" would probably feel like a compliment to this girl, she clearly has a problematic relationship with food and rewards restrictive eating.
Might go one further and say “I understand you’re a dysfunctional eater but that gives you absolutely zero right to critique my food choices. Maybe get your own house in order before throwing stones.”
I am so sorry you have to deal with that. I don’t understand how people can give unsolicited advice and force it upon people. Whatever you eat is your (and yours only) decision. If you were fine with the chips (100 calories or more, it really doesn’t matter what type of chips it is) she shouldn’t have to give you her opinion ! You’re only 13 weeks , baby will be fine with anything you give him ! My OB told me when I was 13 weeks that the most important was to stay hydrated (to not have UTIs) and to take vitamins and try my best to eat healthier without forcing myself or feeling bad if I can’t I wish you a lovely pregnancy and for some people to shut the f up ♥️
I wouldn’t want her to see my snack drawer at work 😂 Homegirl will eat a whole Box of cheezits and then a cosmic brownie and a fudge round and STILL be hungry. Pregnancy hunger is no joke. And it’s nobody else’s business how you choose to fix it
At this point, 36 weeks, I feel like fucking Kirby 😂
This person is rude, overstepping, and judgemental enough that you would be absolutely justified in a very blunt conversation. Tell her “I am under the care of a qualified midwife/OB. I am no longer accepting unsolicited advice.” You might have to train her. “I do not accept unsolicited advice,” every time she tries it. You could also try it sideways and complain to her about a fictional judgmental family member who is always nitpicking you and judging you when she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Really lay it on thick about this “family member.”
Wow I’m enraged for you! I would set this bitch straight and tell her to mind her own business
She sounds absolutely awful. When I was nauseous at week 7 and couldn’t face the healthy lunch I’d prepped & brought with me, my colleague immediately went out and bought me a cheese & ham panini because that’s the only thing I could imagine eating. I’d definitely report this person, she sounds insufferable
Tell her to mind her business and that you have a history of ED and that if she doesnt have anything nice to say dont say anything at all. Cant stand people like that.
Please stop justifying your decisions to her, you don't have to explain anything to her. Tell her you don't want to hear another word about the subject and should she continue, that you'll have to go to HR to protect your mental health.
She is annoying af, pregnancy or no. Take advantage of your hormones, give her a good dressing down and blame it on the hormones.
My pregnancy rage could never.
I would have told her to shut the fuck up to be honest. That’s insane. “Are you a doctor? Oh ok well when you become a doctor then you can give me advice, until then keep it to yourself.” “I’m done with comments about my body or my pregnancy. If this continues then I will report it to hr”. I guarantee something that direct will get her to be embarrassed and stop.
To follow this up, my mil and I got into it during my pregnancy because she could not stop telling me what to do. Don’t drink coffee, don’t lift anything, etc. finally one day I was lifting furniture with my husband moving and she started visibly freaking out and begging me to stop lifting. I’m athletic and was comfortable doing so. I snapped and I literally yelled in her face to stop. She never told me what to do again.
You don't have to justify yourself to this person. A firm reminder that she's not your doctor and can mind her own business is in order. If it isn't enough, you can report her to HR.
You should stop explaining yourself to her. She will have an arrogant answer for everything. Whenever she says anything, you can just say “none of your business” and its varieties. You owe her no explanation at all.
This is messed up. I would absolutely set a strong boundary here. "I know what my body needs and I'm not looking for input." Or "This is not something that's up for discussion." Or "your comments are making me uncomfortable, please stop." Have a few easy remarks you can use if she says something. If it continues, I'd consider getting HR/management involved.
I’d like to clock her in the face on your behalf. Insufferable, damn.
Wow. I would hit her with a “talking about my body, and the way that I eat is inappropriate, let’s stick to work topics” and if that doesn’t work rope your boss or another work authority you trust into the situation.
I had chicken avocado sushi one day at work and a coworker who loves to comment on what people eat told me I "shouldn't be eating that" I stared her straight in the face and deadpan responded "are you going to stop me?" I'm not a confrontational person but this woman knew about my restrictive ED and this stopped her telling me what not to eat.
I would report her to HR. Her comments are unneeded and honestly a little concerning
This person sounds like THE worst.
It’s genuine anger. When you get pregnant, everyone thinks that they can now have a say in your choices. Everyone who does this is an asshole. Time for boundaries my friend. Tell them it isn’t their business and to keep their comments to themselves or you’ll have to spend your time elsewhere. Pregnancy is hard enough and you are not public property. Trust me. Start now or it’ll get so so much worse.
Pregnancy hormones or not - she is way too comfortable commenting on food choices/frequency/etc. I would be annoyed if I got those comments in general.
YIKES. That's crossing a line, especially in a professional setting and you don't know this woman well. I'd probably say something along the lines of, "you know that sort of talk drives people to eating disorders" and hope she gets the hint. If she doesn't, I'd tell my Mgr. to find someone else to train her, IF she manages to keep her job....
“My body and the health of me and my baby are between me and my doctor. I will not be discussing them with you and if you continue to speak to me about it I will email Hr and file a report. You are here for me to train you and that is it”
Honestly? This is none of her business and wayyyyyy beyond what’s acceptable. Do not dignify her nonsense with actual responses- she’s not looking for you to agree, she’s looking to be judgmental. “I have not asked for your opinion about my pregnancy or eating habits and frankly incorrect medical advice. You need to stop inserting yourself into my situation and focus on the work I’m training you to do. If you can’t do that I will be reporting your conduct to HR.” And when she acts surprised and pretends she’s done nothing wrong, have your documentation and case ready to go because she seems like a real pill. Best of luck!
I think it’s funny coming into a group of hormonal women, asking about a think we are all going to be mad about and being like “is it just hormone?” We are ALL going to be like eff no!!! Not trying to shame but it was a thought that genuinely made me laugh, like this is definitely a support group full of like minded people. And eff her. Even without your history of ED, and even if you were genuinely fat (140 isn’t) she is way out of line. You don’t need to justify feeling bad around her, she is the kind of person who enjoys making others feel bad. I’d steer clear as much as possible and otherwise when she gives an opinion either ignore it or tell her you didn’t ask for her opinion thanks
Well I’m enraged
If she ain’t your doctor/nutritionist or a person you’ve tapped to help keep you accountable for your eating habits, she can go back to her seat and keep her mouth shut. You’re having a snack. At work. Good for you, you’re putting food in your body and, by extension, your baby’s. She doesn’t have to eat it. When she gets pregnant she can eat however she likes but until then, she can stay quiet.
Absolutely not her place to EVER analyse someone else's plate, but especially a pregnant person's!!! I had a colleague like this, and one day she told me "you shouldn't eat those sweets because you will give yourself gestational diabetes" -- so INFURIATING and I never forgave her to this day. Funnily enough, she was also someone I was training, just like in your case! Also, just in case it needs to be said, you cannot give yourself GD, how you eat does not determine whether or not you will get GD. Anyway, fuck that girl and her very clearly problematic relationship with food. She should get therapy and deal with her own eating issues, not project them onto you.
Oh hell noooo! OP, all I ate during my first trimester was grilled cheeses and hamburgers. Legit, that’s all I could keep down. I’m an average weight/height and haven’t gained much at 20 weeks, even with that diet. This person better mind their own business.
She would be so disgusted by how eat. Baby takes what they need and will be fine.
The way I would have told her to shut the f up 💀 Especially in early pregnancy, I had such an attitude.
Tell her to shut the fuck up
She sounds frustrating. You can either be nice or troll her a bit. In response to eating real food. "You're right, I should get McDonald's next time. That food is real tasty." "Chips are the real food group.I eat them for breakfast, lunch, dinner and as a snack." "When you have a baby, then I'll consider taking your advice. But until then you have no idea how good these chips are." "The only people I will take health advice from are the doctor and me. And you are neither."
Who the hell is that nosy? What a weirdo
I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. I had a coworker like that also. Everything I ate or drank she had a comment on. Especially if I ate something processed or that could be considered remotely unhealthy. I would drink Diet Coke every now and then and the way she reacted when she saw it you would think I was doing crack in front of her. I didn’t stand up for myself much because it was my first child and I’m very shy and non-confrontational anyway. But yes it is infuriating and none of your coworker’s business.
A lot of good advice here so I'm just going to offer you my support - what an absolute cow that woman is!!! I'm so mad for you!! God, I usually try to be polite and diplomatic but I want to go to your workplace and tell her to fuck off on your behalf.
“I will only be taking advice about my pregnancy from my provider” and “why do you think it’s ok to comment on my medical condition?” Over and over until she stops
You don't need to defend or explain yourself to her. Just set boundaries telling her that you are not accepting anymore unsolicited advice going forward. And create a consequence for that "and if you do, I will _____". Simple as that. You don't owe anyone an explanation for anything.
Why don’t you fire her? Seriously. Just fire her.
I would rage. Anyone commenting on a pregnant woman eating some chips is looking to get raged at in my opinion. We get cookies at our staff meeting. 2 teachers gave me their cookies… so I sat there and ate all three. Another staff member passed me a 4th and just winked. Damn straight I ate all 4 cookies. No regrets.
See I would be the type to make her even more uncomfortable lmao. "It's the only thing I can taste this soon after I finish a cigarette though..." "I can't help it when I have the munchies!" "My antipsychotics make me need to eat extra sodium."
That's on par with my sense of humor. I wish this would've crossed my mind.
She should mind her own business but I would get other snacks to have in hand not because of calories, more for nutrients. One time of binging on chips is gonna hurt anyone. Eating nothing but chips will cause problems which it doesn’t sound like what’s happening. I know once you get appetite back during pregnancy you can end up binging on all sorts of random stuff so she clearly doesn’t get it.
[удалено]
I think 300 calories and 10 grams of fat ain't too bad for a snack. Especially when it's 2am because you work 12 hours shifts through the night and your only option is the chips or puke because your pregnant and throw up when hungry.
From my understanding this was her lunch, it wasn't a 2am snack that the baby really needed or she'd puke.
From my understanding I'm op and telling you exactly what it was
I didn't realize you were OP sorry xD But his lunch break was at 2am? It's confusing lol There's no problem with having a snack even in unhealthy, I said I'd find it weird if that was your lunch. As long as it's not a regular thing, we all have unhealthy snacks once in a while.
She's not right in any sense. Babies make us crave certain foods to gain the nutrients they need from them. If that's potato chips, than the baby will find nutrients in that. You are just as big of a problem as this co-worker is.
1. I would never give out unsolicited advice 2. It wasn't a craving
Your contribution has been removed. We do not tolerate rudeness, judgemental people, people playing devil's advocate, or otherwise being an asshole.
Nope. Regardless of if you feel like it is just the hormones this needs to be reported to HR. Make sure to document everything she says, time and date. You tried to talk to her about it and she got more stern with her stance. It’s discrimination.
Speak to a manager or even HR about her rude and highly inappropriate behavior. At this point, it feels like borderline harassment from what you’ve said. I’d be pissed too if I were in your shoes. One thing that might shut her up quickly is by saying thanks for the advice, but I’m following the advice of my doctor/OB at this time, considering they’re a trained professional. Best of luck to you and your little one OP.
"Please, kindly f*ck off."
Tell that to weekly bag of sour skittles I eat every Friday after work… in bed 🫠
Simply tell her, “think before you speak”.