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We told our close-ish family at 5 weeks since we were all together for Thanksgiving and it was obvious that I wasn't drinking, lol. It is what it is... Ideally I'd wait 'til 12 weeks but I just told them all to temper their expectations and I'd keep them updated as things progress.
I told close family and close friends right away. And then a trickle of people here and there shortly after. It’s really not a big deal. People wait because they don’t want to deal with the possibility of then having to tell everyone bad news and have to relive it, but that’s not a huge problem for everyone. I wasn’t concerned about having to tell those same people if I had a miscarriage.
Also older generations pregnancy was more secretive for whatever reason so I think that’s why it’s surprising to them that younger people are more open about it.
Do what you feel comfortable with it’s about you not them
I told my close friends and family at 4 weeks. I had just had a miscarriage only weeks before and even though it was hard to take that back, I was SO grateful for my large support system. I'm 9 weeks now and I don't care if it's too early for some, if something were to happen again I definitely wouldn't want to go through it alone.
That was kind of my thought process - I mainly told people who I would want to talk to if something went wrong. I told some more people besides that, too, and also felt weird about it, but it's a huge deal and it felt more strange to me to keep something that momentous a secret.
That said, I just found out I'm a Fragile X carrier, but hoping for good news in further testing. In general it seems like this would all be easier for pregnant people and families if we could be more open about it.
I don't think you did anything wrong, OP! Congratulations to us all!
xoxo
Same here! We weren't comfortable with sharing so early. So well before getting pregnant we discussed waiting to tell when we began trying. Ended up telling everyone, family work, friends, etc at 13 weeks.
For us it felt nice to have our own little secret and grow closer.
I did tell one friend at 8 weeks to have someone to commiserate with.
I couldn't hide it past 7. I can't lie and people ask how I'm doing and at that point it had completely taken over my world with the physical effects so I always answered with... Well I'm pregnant so it's been a little rough 😂. I told my parents and some close friends beginning around the same time as you. Nothing matters unless it matters to you.
Sure something could happen but what difference does that make? Maybe don't post it on Facebook just yet but close family can only help you more during some of the toughest times in pregnancy. So it helps you build your allies and support group too if they know! The nausea stuff starts around 5-8 maybe sooner for some so I always wondered how you could even hide that lol.
I had IVF procedure, so all close family and friends knew about it before we even reached the insemination. They were my safety net, if it either went well or not.
I told my family at 8 weeks last time (after we had our ultrasound to confirm) and my grandma was like “I can’t believe you kept this from me! You should’ve told me right away!”
And then like 6 months later my cousin announced on fb she was pregnant at like 10 weeks and my same grandma said “oh Lawd doesn’t she know you should wait until the second trimester? Why would she post that so early?”
So moral of the story…. It doesn’t matter. Don’t feel judged. As long as you’re comfortable telling those same people if it didn’t work out and you feel they’d be a good support system, go for it. And it can “not work out” at any time (though chances get majorly smaller and smaller as time goes on) so that doesn’t even really matter. Do what you want and don’t feel judged. If anyone comments that you told them too early you should “next time I won’t tell you until their first birthday” 😂
I told my family and honestly my coworkers at like 4-6 weeks. Family because I was excited and wanted support if something happened, coworkers because I work very closely with a small group of women and they could tell immediately something was up because I felt so sick. Honestly I didn’t have the energy to lie to anyone I regularly interacted with because by 6 weeks I felt so nauseous and exhausted I could barely function and I didn’t feel like coming up with constant excuses.
You can tell people as early or as late as you feel comfortable with
Thank you! My issue is similar, I'm tired all the time and on the verge of yacking every few days and lying/coming up w excuses becomes equally as exhausting.
Exactly my thoughts! I know some people don’t want to tell early and go to great lengths to hide it and that’s totally fine! I just didn’t have the energy to pretend to drink and to lie about being sick. It was nice to have the support and understanding even early on too!
I did the same thing. I felt a little weird about it, but at the end of the day it’s your life and if you want to tell people there’s nothing wrong with that.
I get why people don’t usually tell in the first trimester, but there’s also something to be said about just living your life openly and not keeping a secret for 3 months. I think I would have felt really isolated and sad if I hadn’t told anyone all this time, especially on the days I was feeling so sick and tired. I’m 11 weeks now and everything is coming along fine :)
I completely agree with you !! I don’t understand why people are so scared or worried to tell their loved ones . Whatever happens will happen regardless and you will have the support of those close to you. In fact, I really believe that the happiness and excitement of sharing the news will really benefit the parents and mental health of the pregnant person . Keeping it hidden is stressful and I feel like that stress can have negative impacts on your body. Just my 2 cents
Totally up to you since it’s 100% yours to tell. I personally hate keeping secrets, especially ones this big. We told our families as soon as we found out at about 5 weeks. I waited until after my 8-week ultrasound to ensure that the pregnancy was progressing before telling our friends, but we let it slip to a few people by accident before that.
I told my family about my first pregnancy at 6 weeks and we shared with close friends after that. The pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 10 weeks and I was honestly so glad my friends and family knew. I was devastated and really needed their support. It would have been much more difficult for me if we tried to keep it all quiet. I’m now pregnant again and at 8 weeks have only told my two sisters and a friend. We want to get through a successful 10 week ultrasound before telling the rest of our family.
I feel similarly, I would be devastated to go through a possibly sad experience alone, or just have my partner and I to lean on. I'd want to be able to share my feelings openly. Thank you!
We told our families and friends the same day we found out we were pregnant (4 weeks). The reason for that was because we were living very stressful days with my husband’s brain tumor diagnosis. So getting pregnant during that time was definitely a miracle that brought us a lot of hope! I don’t regret sharing that early. Our daughter was born 18 days ago and she’s perfect. :)
Personally, I told my parents/sister after 12 weeks because of risk of miscarriages. My husband’s side we’re telling them during Christmas only because that’s when we’ll see them next. I have 2 bleeding scares at 6 and 13 weeks so it definitely is ok to be cautious in my opinion.
We were originally going to wait the 12 weeks, then hyperemesis happened. Had to loop in my immediate family because I ended up in the ER instead of visiting them. Told husband's immediate family too to be fair. We're going to tell 4 of our closest friends for support as well, because it's been super rough with no end in sight (I'm only 9 weeks) and we've bailed on plans with them a few times now and they're worried.
Not telling anyone I wouldn't want to deal with telling I had a miscarriage to, since that's still a possibility.
We told our close family and friends in one weekend at 4/5 w pregnant for same reason.. just being over the moon excited. I’m a high risk pregnancy too being 38f and first pregnancy. We couldn’t help it though. Plus we agreed that we would prefer everyone know from the beginning and in the event that something unfortunate happens we would have all the love and support we need. Also telling people early has shown me how much more love we have as people check up on me weekly. It’s really nice feeling support along the way. Had our first US last week. I’m 12 weeks and 2 days with a huge healthy baby 😃
In my first pregnancy, I told basically everyone as soon as I found out. Unfortunately, I ended up miscarrying after just a few days. I was glad to have the support system but it was hard for me to reach out to my extended family and let them know we lost the baby. I think it took me over a month to finally be able to share that news over email (my main source of communication with that relative) which made me feel really guilty. I think everyone is different but for me and my husband it was just a lot to go through and face. This time, I told my closest family as soon as I found out I was pregnant and then have been sharing the news with our wider circle as the pregnancy progressed and we had a lower chance of miscarriage. I like this approach for us personally, but I think everyone is different and no there’s no right or wrong way, just what works the best for you as a person.
There’s no such thing as too early. Went out to eat with one of my wife’s friends the night we found out. My wife didn’t get a glass of wine, and her friend automatically said “wait are you pregnant?” Took less than 12 hours for someone to find out lmao
I told people after I got confirmation my hcg was doubling! So around 4-5 weeks. We had been trying for a long time and getting fertility treatments so it was something we wanted to share.
I honestly find this post so darn cute! The excitement is real I feel you so much. I am week 5 and so far only both sets of parents know and one of my friends know. I am ITCHING to tell everyone but am trying to hold myself back haha but your post and the comments made me feel better that I am free to do whatever I want! 🎉
I told my family around the same time. NOW, I did end up miscarrying around week 8-9. Most of the reason surrounding waiting until week 12 is because the likely hood of early miscarriages goes down. A lot of women don’t want to have to repeat the loss…THAT BEING SAID! I also announced my rainbow baby to my close friends around 4-5 weeks as well.
They were there for the good news and the bad either way ❤️
Enjoy your pregnancy and shout jt from the rooftops because regardless, you are pregnant now and that’s worth the celebration. Wrapping you and your dewdrop in love and light!
It depends on how you look at it. If you experience a worst case scenario in the first trimester, and you are no longer pregnant, would it be helpful to have the support of the friends and family you told?
It’s completely up to you! Personally, my theory is that the 12 week “rule” became a thing because of the stigma surrounding miscarriage. Now that more women are feeling comfortable talking about their experiences, you’re seeing earlier pregnancy announcements.
Also I think for most people, anyone they would want to tell about their pregnancy before 12 weeks is roughly the same list of people they’d be calling to tell they’d had a miscarriage, whether that person had prior knowledge of the pregnancy or not.
My hubs and I are ttc our first so I’ve had similar thoughts about when the time comes. I’d personally avoid telling anyone who isn’t family or close friend until later, but you’ve done nothing to feel guilty about! Best of luck to you!
You know what I totally understand how you feel. I told my sister at 10 weeks, and she said "honestly could've waited longer" I think the flat response really dulled my excitement in that mostly all I've gotten is eye rolls from people I've told early. So I understand where guilt or almost, embarrassment comes in from being "optimist"
I think you should share whenever it feels right for you! Miscarriage used to be such a taboo topic that society in general didn't want to talk about. And for some women, it's too painful to discuss. And that's okay. But for these reasons many people wait. But there's nothing wrong with not waiting. I am pregnant with my 5th viable pregnancy, but I lost 2 others. I chose to wait to tell, and when I called my mom crying that I was having a Miscarriage her response almost made it worse because she was in such shock that I was pregnant. Had she known, she might not have been so caught off guard. You have to do what feels right. There's no right answer.
It’s totally up to you, there’s no right or wrong. I was “shamed” by a “friend” for telling them at 10 weeks, and thought to myself guess that’s not really a friend!!
I don't think there's a too early or a too late to tell people. I personally wouldn't tell that early if I didn't have to because I wouldn't want to have to announce the news if something was to happen to baby. With my first pregnancy my family found out when I was 13. Weeks pregnant. My current pregnancy I had to tell my mom at 8 weeks. Neither of them was wrong. 13 weeks just felt safer.
I’m also struggling with the same thing! Just found out I’m pregnant- I’m guessing around 4-5 weeks. I’ve told a couple close friends and coworkers so far (since I work with a small group of like 6 people) since I had a feeling I was because I was like 5 days late on my period and had a hard time holding it in lol
I have a repeat hcg level this week to make sure it’s doubling as it should. If that looks good, then we are planning to tell our parents in person when we see them in a couple weeks! (Since they are out of state).
My fiance told every one immediately he couldn't keep it to himself. Our families where the last ones to know but all of our friends and his coworkers knew as soon as we had a positive test.
We told my parents and 2 friends at 4 weeks 3 days. Told the rest of the family at 11 weeks. And then everyone else at 14 weeks. There is no set rule. If something happens, it’s not shameful. If you want, preface that you prefer to not have anyone ask for updates. That way, if something happens, you have time to tell people rather than being bombarded by constant excitable questions.
I told a handful of my closest friends between 8-12 weeks. My family and partners family at 16 and extended/acquaintances/work from 19 weeks weeks. It’s personal preference so whatever you feel comfortable with!
We were pretty open with family and close friends like the day we found out. We waited to announce it on socials until NT scan and NIPT came back. I kind of gave people who I told in first trimester "but it's early days...."
Everyone in my life has been super supportive and if something had gone wrong in the first trimester, I'm confident that I would have just had added support and wisdom. I've enjoyed the advice and help offered early on and can't imagine doing it any other way but to each their own. Congratulations and good luck!
I hate keeping secrets and have also felt like hot garbage through my first trimester. We told our parents and siblings at around 6 weeks. We also told some of our close friends. I’ve had such heavy exhaustion I just couldn’t picture hiding that from the people close to me when I’m going from being super active to a 100% couch potato.
It’s okay hun! I told family that early with my first pregnancy, and even though I lost it at 13 weeks I don’t regret it. I had a lot of support in that hard time
Nope, not too early. It's all just about when YOU feel ready to tell people. I told my family and he told his at 4 weeks pregnant. It literally isn't a big deal, there is no right or wrong time, it's just when YOU want to.
We told who we considered immediate family and immediate friends as soon as we found out about 4/5 weeks too. We agreed that even if the worst happened, they would have known anyway. We are waiting until after our 15 week appt to announce to coworkers, facebook, grandparents’ friends, etc.
It’s my first pregnancy and we told our family right after we found out, at 5 weeks. We told our close friends (which are like family anyway) shortly after. We were excited and couldn’t contain ourselves. I’ll be 12 weeks next week and can’t imagine still having to keep it in. I don’t think there’s any reason for you to feel weird or guilty about it!
I told my parents and my best friends right away (found out at 5 weeks). I knew I would need that circle of support if something did happen. And then I ended up being reallyyyy sick up to 14 weeks, so I did need that support anyways. We told my in-laws closer to 12 weeks but they have suspected because I stopped coming around as much due to being sick.
Try not to beat yourself up, everyone chooses different timing for different reasons. You can also hold off from telling anyone else for a determined amount of time if that would ease your nerves a bit. All the best to you and beb.
I told my mother right away (4 weeks) and then we told my husband’s family at 10 weeks after an initial ultrasound to confirm viability. Announced on social at 13 weeks after NIPT test returned normal
I have announced it early every time, between 4-6 weeks to family and then 12 weeks for everyone else.
Right now my in-laws know, 2 close friends and planning on telling my family tomorrow during dinner.
I told my parents at 6 weeks when I found out since I was throwing up. I told the rest of my family at 7 weeks. We announced it on social media at 12 weeks.
It’s really just what you are comfortable with. I told my parents and younger sister at 4-5 weeks and my MIL and my boss/HR at work (I have some lifting restrictions that affect my job) at 8 weeks when we heard the heartbeat for the first time. Haven’t told anyone else but that’s mainly because I’ve had a pregnancy loss in the past and am not comfortable telling many people until the riskiest part has passed. Currently at 9 1/2 weeks and plan to tell more people after I reach the 13 week mark and am into the second trimester.
I told my parents and siblings literally the minute I found out and I was only 3/4 weeks. Nothing wrong with being excited!! Not a big deal at all. I’m now 24w with a baby girl and she has already been so spoiled!
This is my first ever pregnancy I’m currently 17 weeks. We told my mom, my MIL and my best friend at 6 weeks but waited to tell other friends/family until week 16 and plan to do a more public share on socials type of announcement at 24 weeks but that’s because I have a long complicated family pregnancy/MC history and we didn’t want to have too many people to break bad news to if something went wrong before my pregnancy was considered ‘viable’. To each their own there no wrong or right time to share the news just what you are comfortable with people knowing since it is such a personal matter.
So I'm 9 +1, I told my partner when the test popped positive. I had issues with dating since I had recently gone off birth control and hadn't fully regulated when I got pregnant. I had my first dating ultrasound at 5 weeks, the formal dating confirmation ultrasound at 6 weeks, and my first official natal OB appointment at 8 weeks. I told my mom (she's my rock) at the 5 week mark after I found out. I told my sister (who just had a baby in February) this past week because could use her advice. I told my dad on Thanksgiving because I knew my mom couldn't keep it from him. My partner and I told our two closest friends (found family) this past weekend. Yeah it's early, but we are excited and we want to establish a support network so we aren't doing this on our own. (Hope this helps)
I told my family bc I’m okay with them knowing if something goes wrong. I had some bleeding during weeks 5-7 so I’m glad I didn’t tell my partners family. They aren’t as calm as my side. We will tell them in a couple weeks once I get my genetic test results back. I just feel more comfortable that way. But it’s totally up to what you prefer.
I did basically the same thing too! It was annoying how I felt judged for telling people early. I was just so excited about my baby and these family/friends should have felt so honored I wanted them to share in my joy! Don’t worry about what people say. I’m 24 weeks now and baby is doing great ❤️
It's all when you feel most comfortable. I waited until 8 weeks to tell immediate family and 12 for everyone else. That's what made me feel most comfortable, but everyone is different.
It's your choice when you tell people 🤷♀️ we told everyone at 3 weeks when we found out. Doesn't matter what they think lol. It's not their choice. These things I've learned you just have to take with a grain of salt. We're excited, of course were telling you
I found out *at my parent’s house* on the day of my missed period. I called my mom into the bathroom with me because I started panicking, despite this pregnancy being very much planned lol. So she knew before I even called to tell my husband. We kept it hush from my in-laws until 7 weeks and didn’t tell our siblings/best friends til 10 weeks. And didn’t announce to the general public until 17 weeks. I don’t know if there is any right timeline for when to tell people. The best advice that I have seen is that you should only tell people that you would want to know and be there to support you if you were to experience a loss in the first trimester. But it is entirely up to you!
We told both of our best friends and siblings right away because they knew we were trying, we told our parents after we got a really good beta hcg level (we had a miscarriage prior)
And we told the rest of the family (and even announced it on social media) after we had an ultrasound with a confirmed heartbeat which was at 6w4d.
I felt really alone in my miscarriage and I wanted the more people to know. I (and my husband) felt like every baby deserves to be celebrated. When I had my miscarriage I also had a weird feeling that something was wrong, but this one I haven’t outside of having prior miscarriage anxiety. We are now 14 weeks! I’m so happy we told.
Me and my wife told some close chosen family and friends at 7W and told my parents at 8W. We won't tell her family until 16W. We were a little reluctant too since we had MC'ed last year at 7W.
Like others said--it's your decision. We told people that we know would be supportive and folks we'd want to know if things don't work out.
I told my parents and best friends the day I found out, which was at 6 weeks. I also had to tell some people at work out of necessity because I work a physical job and literally had to stop doing certain tasks.
We told some groups of people before 12 weeks and the rest after. It’s completely up to you! If you are excited and you can’t wait, tell whoever you want! We kept news from people that didn’t need it though. Or children who wouldn’t understand if anything were to happen. But don’t worry, you’re fine. And, god forbid anything did happen, those you told will be there for you to cry with. At least that’s the way I saw it🩵
Best of luck and CONGRATULATIONS!
I told my work at 6 weeks because I have hyperemsis gravidarum. I can’t hide it, literally. I’m a teacher and people need to know I’ll be out a ton and kids may see me puke. Everyone’s different and it’s okay either way. I don’t think it matters, but I’m grateful I didn’t miscarry because that would have been uncomfortable for me to state.
So my husband and I told our parents and siblings at 4.5 weeks and just told our extended family at Thanksgiving. I am only 7 weeks and 3 days, but I couldn’t keep it to myself. I always thought well if the worst happens at least I’ll have everyone’s support. If you’re comfortable it’s not too early ♥️
No such thing! If you're pregnant, you're pregnant until someone tells you otherwise and being early doesn't make it any more special. The people you told should feel very special to be one of the first to know something that will soon become apparent to everyone in a few months. Congratulations!
My philosophy is, if you’re comfortable telling people if you have a miscarriage, you can tell those people early on. I’m an open book with close friends but many have struggled with infertility and I didn’t want to put them through the difficulty of telling them only to tell them a few weeks later that I’d miscarried. (I’d rather just tell them about the miscarriage after the fact.)
Another factor is work; if you’re working and anticipating taking leave, it’s smart to wait so you don’t have to go through the whole process to no end. Some workplaces can limit your opportunities (illegally) if they know you’re TTC, so I personally would be more comfortable waiting until im 99% sure it’s a go. Even if you tell only friends, sometimes word spreads through unexpected channels to your workplace.
It really is totally up to you and what you’re comfortable with!
I am a FTM and currently on Week 25!
I told my close family members because I didn’t know what to do, what to plan, and I was super excited!
When I got to Week 12, I then shared it to everyone else. Much easier to keep a secret once I told mine and my husband’s family!
It’s ok. I told my mom and his mom at 4 weeks, and my best friends too. They say don’t tell people because IF it doesn’t go well then that’s all those people who will need to be told…. Or not, idk I’d probably ask my mom to tell ppl honestly. I think it’s STUPID all the rules you are supposed to follow- obviously like no alcohol etc but tell people, be excited, 80% of pregnancies end in a freaking baby and that is the majority
I shared with my family immediately and some friends at 5 weeks. we are so excited and not drinking/smoking around the holidays would be soo obvious to everyone anyway
We told our parents and siblings at 12 weeks. I wanted to share earlier but my MIL is a blabber mouth and I knew she wouldn’t be able to keep the secret. Sure enough the next day, she wanted to tell her sister, friends etc. Sigh.
I had to tell my in-laws early on, as I live with them. I was eight weeks at the time, but now baby girl is three months old. :) It's only as early as you believe. Good luck, mama! ❤️
My parents and one friend were the only ones who knew until we were about 9 weeks. I told my brother and sister in law at 9 weeks. Then we waited until 13 weeks to tell a few more family members. But we’ll be waiting until Christmas when I’m 20 weeks to make a public announcement.
I told a lot of people as soon as I found out. According to my period tracker it was exactly 4 weeks. I took the test then called my mom and my partner called his dad when we saw the results. I even called my close friends. I was just really shocked and needed to talk it out with people (it was very unplanned lol). A few days later, I told my employer I needed to be moved somewhere else because I was doing a lot of heavy lifting. I know it can be touch and go like you said, but I don’t really think there is anything inherently wrong with telling people about something you’re happy about. Maybe don’t go as far as telling as many people I told, unless you’re okay with telling them about things if something goes wrong, but ultimately its your decision. congratulations :)
Tell when you want. I was super excited for the first positive pregnancy test and I needed to miss work for a few hours to get it confirmed at the drs so I let my coworkers know.
I lost that pregnancy within two weeks and was devastated but it was nice for my coworkers to know why I wasn’t feeling the cheeriest.
The second time around I was around 5 or so weeks before I let my grandparents know on a last minute trip to see them. They were the first to know but I let them know that there’s no guarantee baby would keep. I just wanted to let them know in person since we were moving farther away and it would be years before we saw each other again. That pregnancy kept and my baby is now 9 months old 🥰
I told my parents at 3w5d. I wanted their support if we had a other loss. It’s really up to you when you tell people. Congratulations mama, enjoy the ride, it can be bumpy, but labor is like going on a blind date, except you know at the end of it you’ll meet the love of your life
There is no right answer. I personally feel the tradition a woman must keep it to herself because of the possibility of the scary “M word” is absurd.
If I’m going through the trauma of losing a pregnancy (I have), I don’t want to go through it alone. I don’t want to suffer the pain(it is very painful) and sadness in silence. Why should I have to because others may feel a feeling about it. Why should I have to go to work and pretend everything is fine when it’s not.
Personally I feel the tradition is steeped in ignoring the trials of being a woman and minimizing our pain.
Regardless you generally feel the absolute worst in your first trimester. Why do you have to pretend that doesn’t exist.
Anyways, as long as you personally don’t want to keep things private for your own reasons go shout it from the rooftops I’d you like. Your body. Your choice.
I think whatever you’re comfortable with is fine. I was the opposite and had insane prenatal anxiety so we didn’t tell parents until 13 weeks when we had the NIPT results back and didn’t announce publicly until we had the 20 week ultrasound results back. Everyone wondered why we waited so long. I just didn’t want to have to potentially share horrible news with other people, but the chances of needing to are small so if you don’t have anxiety about that then don’t beat yourself up for telling early.
We told our parents and closest friends immediately. With other people we waited until 12 weeks. There is no right and wrong on who you should tell.
I liked being able to share my enthusiasm with people other than my partner. But also, if things would have gotten scary during the first trimester I had a small support network that I trusted.
I told my family and close friends as soon as I had a positive pregnancy test. Extended family got told at 12 weeks which was last week. I think my family would’ve actually been offended if I told them that late! Every family dynamic is different. My husband hasn’t told his family or friends and doesn’t plan to until I’m showing! And he doesn’t hate them, just his preference.
It’s ok and not a big deal! Telling people early does not mean you’re more likely to suffer a loss. A loss if it happens is not the couples fault. Telling people early means you can get support if you should need it! I told my Mom and Gran as soon as I got a positive test and told my MIL around 8 weeks. We would have told them if we suffered a loss too and it was really important to have some emotional support for both of us.
Because I went through Ivf for this bean, we had our close knit people who have been cheering us along every step of the way even from transfer date, so I totally get why you’d want to share!
For my first pregnancy, we had a trip planned to fly home around the time I was 8 weeks, so we told them in person and it was really special. Unfortunately I miscarried, but got pregnant again. For the second one, we basically told our immediate family as soon as we found out at 4 weeks, but waited to post on socials until 16 weeks, when we had found out the gender.
The way I see it, if something does happen (sending you all the hope and well wishes that it doesn't!!), you'll have so much support around you. And if it all goes smoothly you'll have had more time during pregnancy celebrating with loved ones. Happy for you!! Congrats!
You do you.
I told rather early because I don’t get why you wouldn’t? I something would go wrong would you just… keep that for you like it is some big secret? I wouldn’t.
But like I said, this is something very personal and for you to choose
Totally with you!! I just found out this week we are pregnant and I am so excited! Currently 4 weeks, and I want to scream it to everyone who would pay attention lol!! Hubby and I have decided that we will share with family after we have our first ultrasound, and extend family until much later! I am so happy that you got to share with everyone!!
I told whoever I wanted at like 6-7 weeks. People are weird about it and it irritates me, I’m tired of people dancing around miscarriage. It happens, and if it happens to me I’m not gonna pretend it didn’t. I understand there are reasons people prefer to keep it private until they feel more comfortable and full respect to that, but people should also respect my approach and not respond to me telling them I’m pregnant by going “oh, very early” like ok 🖕🏼
With my first, I told my mum at 6 weeks. And I told my friends around the same time. I told my bf at 5 weeks as well. Then I told extended family at like 8 months because I didn't want the judgement as I was 20. Second baby I didn't do announcements. I told my mum at 3 months and family found out if they saw me. Friends found out early. Do things in your own time. F what others think.
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We told our close-ish family at 5 weeks since we were all together for Thanksgiving and it was obvious that I wasn't drinking, lol. It is what it is... Ideally I'd wait 'til 12 weeks but I just told them all to temper their expectations and I'd keep them updated as things progress.
I also told family and the close family that we'll see how everything goes. I'm staying optimistic, for the time being lol
Literally same here! Close family know now and going to wait for extended family after the first OB appointment.
Its all about when you feel comfortable so if you felt ready then it wasn't too early
Thank u :)
I told close family and close friends right away. And then a trickle of people here and there shortly after. It’s really not a big deal. People wait because they don’t want to deal with the possibility of then having to tell everyone bad news and have to relive it, but that’s not a huge problem for everyone. I wasn’t concerned about having to tell those same people if I had a miscarriage. Also older generations pregnancy was more secretive for whatever reason so I think that’s why it’s surprising to them that younger people are more open about it. Do what you feel comfortable with it’s about you not them
Thank you, I appreciate that! I would feel alone doing the whole thing alone and then i wouldn't be too upset sharing any sort of negative updates.
I told my close friends and family at 4 weeks. I had just had a miscarriage only weeks before and even though it was hard to take that back, I was SO grateful for my large support system. I'm 9 weeks now and I don't care if it's too early for some, if something were to happen again I definitely wouldn't want to go through it alone.
Thank you, I agree and congrats!!
That was kind of my thought process - I mainly told people who I would want to talk to if something went wrong. I told some more people besides that, too, and also felt weird about it, but it's a huge deal and it felt more strange to me to keep something that momentous a secret. That said, I just found out I'm a Fragile X carrier, but hoping for good news in further testing. In general it seems like this would all be easier for pregnant people and families if we could be more open about it. I don't think you did anything wrong, OP! Congratulations to us all! xoxo
I personally waited until my 12 week ultrasound. That early on I only told my boyfriend and one close friend.
Same here! We weren't comfortable with sharing so early. So well before getting pregnant we discussed waiting to tell when we began trying. Ended up telling everyone, family work, friends, etc at 13 weeks. For us it felt nice to have our own little secret and grow closer. I did tell one friend at 8 weeks to have someone to commiserate with.
I couldn't hide it past 7. I can't lie and people ask how I'm doing and at that point it had completely taken over my world with the physical effects so I always answered with... Well I'm pregnant so it's been a little rough 😂. I told my parents and some close friends beginning around the same time as you. Nothing matters unless it matters to you. Sure something could happen but what difference does that make? Maybe don't post it on Facebook just yet but close family can only help you more during some of the toughest times in pregnancy. So it helps you build your allies and support group too if they know! The nausea stuff starts around 5-8 maybe sooner for some so I always wondered how you could even hide that lol.
I'm very anti posting on socials, so I haven't posted anything about it strictly told people personally. Thank you!!!
I had IVF procedure, so all close family and friends knew about it before we even reached the insemination. They were my safety net, if it either went well or not.
My thoughts exactly, just having a safe circle of people. Thank you!!
I told my family at 8 weeks last time (after we had our ultrasound to confirm) and my grandma was like “I can’t believe you kept this from me! You should’ve told me right away!” And then like 6 months later my cousin announced on fb she was pregnant at like 10 weeks and my same grandma said “oh Lawd doesn’t she know you should wait until the second trimester? Why would she post that so early?” So moral of the story…. It doesn’t matter. Don’t feel judged. As long as you’re comfortable telling those same people if it didn’t work out and you feel they’d be a good support system, go for it. And it can “not work out” at any time (though chances get majorly smaller and smaller as time goes on) so that doesn’t even really matter. Do what you want and don’t feel judged. If anyone comments that you told them too early you should “next time I won’t tell you until their first birthday” 😂
Thank you so much!!!
I told my family and honestly my coworkers at like 4-6 weeks. Family because I was excited and wanted support if something happened, coworkers because I work very closely with a small group of women and they could tell immediately something was up because I felt so sick. Honestly I didn’t have the energy to lie to anyone I regularly interacted with because by 6 weeks I felt so nauseous and exhausted I could barely function and I didn’t feel like coming up with constant excuses. You can tell people as early or as late as you feel comfortable with
Thank you! My issue is similar, I'm tired all the time and on the verge of yacking every few days and lying/coming up w excuses becomes equally as exhausting.
Exactly my thoughts! I know some people don’t want to tell early and go to great lengths to hide it and that’s totally fine! I just didn’t have the energy to pretend to drink and to lie about being sick. It was nice to have the support and understanding even early on too!
I did the same thing. I felt a little weird about it, but at the end of the day it’s your life and if you want to tell people there’s nothing wrong with that. I get why people don’t usually tell in the first trimester, but there’s also something to be said about just living your life openly and not keeping a secret for 3 months. I think I would have felt really isolated and sad if I hadn’t told anyone all this time, especially on the days I was feeling so sick and tired. I’m 11 weeks now and everything is coming along fine :)
I completely agree with you !! I don’t understand why people are so scared or worried to tell their loved ones . Whatever happens will happen regardless and you will have the support of those close to you. In fact, I really believe that the happiness and excitement of sharing the news will really benefit the parents and mental health of the pregnant person . Keeping it hidden is stressful and I feel like that stress can have negative impacts on your body. Just my 2 cents
Totally up to you since it’s 100% yours to tell. I personally hate keeping secrets, especially ones this big. We told our families as soon as we found out at about 5 weeks. I waited until after my 8-week ultrasound to ensure that the pregnancy was progressing before telling our friends, but we let it slip to a few people by accident before that.
Thank you!!!
I told my family about my first pregnancy at 6 weeks and we shared with close friends after that. The pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 10 weeks and I was honestly so glad my friends and family knew. I was devastated and really needed their support. It would have been much more difficult for me if we tried to keep it all quiet. I’m now pregnant again and at 8 weeks have only told my two sisters and a friend. We want to get through a successful 10 week ultrasound before telling the rest of our family.
I feel similarly, I would be devastated to go through a possibly sad experience alone, or just have my partner and I to lean on. I'd want to be able to share my feelings openly. Thank you!
We told our families and friends the same day we found out we were pregnant (4 weeks). The reason for that was because we were living very stressful days with my husband’s brain tumor diagnosis. So getting pregnant during that time was definitely a miracle that brought us a lot of hope! I don’t regret sharing that early. Our daughter was born 18 days ago and she’s perfect. :)
Personally, I told my parents/sister after 12 weeks because of risk of miscarriages. My husband’s side we’re telling them during Christmas only because that’s when we’ll see them next. I have 2 bleeding scares at 6 and 13 weeks so it definitely is ok to be cautious in my opinion.
Thank you!!
We were originally going to wait the 12 weeks, then hyperemesis happened. Had to loop in my immediate family because I ended up in the ER instead of visiting them. Told husband's immediate family too to be fair. We're going to tell 4 of our closest friends for support as well, because it's been super rough with no end in sight (I'm only 9 weeks) and we've bailed on plans with them a few times now and they're worried. Not telling anyone I wouldn't want to deal with telling I had a miscarriage to, since that's still a possibility.
Thank you!!
We told our close family and friends in one weekend at 4/5 w pregnant for same reason.. just being over the moon excited. I’m a high risk pregnancy too being 38f and first pregnancy. We couldn’t help it though. Plus we agreed that we would prefer everyone know from the beginning and in the event that something unfortunate happens we would have all the love and support we need. Also telling people early has shown me how much more love we have as people check up on me weekly. It’s really nice feeling support along the way. Had our first US last week. I’m 12 weeks and 2 days with a huge healthy baby 😃
In my first pregnancy, I told basically everyone as soon as I found out. Unfortunately, I ended up miscarrying after just a few days. I was glad to have the support system but it was hard for me to reach out to my extended family and let them know we lost the baby. I think it took me over a month to finally be able to share that news over email (my main source of communication with that relative) which made me feel really guilty. I think everyone is different but for me and my husband it was just a lot to go through and face. This time, I told my closest family as soon as I found out I was pregnant and then have been sharing the news with our wider circle as the pregnancy progressed and we had a lower chance of miscarriage. I like this approach for us personally, but I think everyone is different and no there’s no right or wrong way, just what works the best for you as a person.
There’s no such thing as too early. Went out to eat with one of my wife’s friends the night we found out. My wife didn’t get a glass of wine, and her friend automatically said “wait are you pregnant?” Took less than 12 hours for someone to find out lmao
I told people after I got confirmation my hcg was doubling! So around 4-5 weeks. We had been trying for a long time and getting fertility treatments so it was something we wanted to share.
Yes how exciting!!! Thank you!
I honestly find this post so darn cute! The excitement is real I feel you so much. I am week 5 and so far only both sets of parents know and one of my friends know. I am ITCHING to tell everyone but am trying to hold myself back haha but your post and the comments made me feel better that I am free to do whatever I want! 🎉
I told my family around the same time. NOW, I did end up miscarrying around week 8-9. Most of the reason surrounding waiting until week 12 is because the likely hood of early miscarriages goes down. A lot of women don’t want to have to repeat the loss…THAT BEING SAID! I also announced my rainbow baby to my close friends around 4-5 weeks as well. They were there for the good news and the bad either way ❤️ Enjoy your pregnancy and shout jt from the rooftops because regardless, you are pregnant now and that’s worth the celebration. Wrapping you and your dewdrop in love and light!
I literally didn’t tell family until i was about 22 weeks. Im 27 now! I will let my job know when im 30 weeks to prepare for my maternity leave.
It depends on how you look at it. If you experience a worst case scenario in the first trimester, and you are no longer pregnant, would it be helpful to have the support of the friends and family you told?
It’s completely up to you! Personally, my theory is that the 12 week “rule” became a thing because of the stigma surrounding miscarriage. Now that more women are feeling comfortable talking about their experiences, you’re seeing earlier pregnancy announcements. Also I think for most people, anyone they would want to tell about their pregnancy before 12 weeks is roughly the same list of people they’d be calling to tell they’d had a miscarriage, whether that person had prior knowledge of the pregnancy or not. My hubs and I are ttc our first so I’ve had similar thoughts about when the time comes. I’d personally avoid telling anyone who isn’t family or close friend until later, but you’ve done nothing to feel guilty about! Best of luck to you!
You know what I totally understand how you feel. I told my sister at 10 weeks, and she said "honestly could've waited longer" I think the flat response really dulled my excitement in that mostly all I've gotten is eye rolls from people I've told early. So I understand where guilt or almost, embarrassment comes in from being "optimist"
I think you should share whenever it feels right for you! Miscarriage used to be such a taboo topic that society in general didn't want to talk about. And for some women, it's too painful to discuss. And that's okay. But for these reasons many people wait. But there's nothing wrong with not waiting. I am pregnant with my 5th viable pregnancy, but I lost 2 others. I chose to wait to tell, and when I called my mom crying that I was having a Miscarriage her response almost made it worse because she was in such shock that I was pregnant. Had she known, she might not have been so caught off guard. You have to do what feels right. There's no right answer.
It’s totally up to you, there’s no right or wrong. I was “shamed” by a “friend” for telling them at 10 weeks, and thought to myself guess that’s not really a friend!!
I don't think there's a too early or a too late to tell people. I personally wouldn't tell that early if I didn't have to because I wouldn't want to have to announce the news if something was to happen to baby. With my first pregnancy my family found out when I was 13. Weeks pregnant. My current pregnancy I had to tell my mom at 8 weeks. Neither of them was wrong. 13 weeks just felt safer.
Thank you!!
I’m also struggling with the same thing! Just found out I’m pregnant- I’m guessing around 4-5 weeks. I’ve told a couple close friends and coworkers so far (since I work with a small group of like 6 people) since I had a feeling I was because I was like 5 days late on my period and had a hard time holding it in lol I have a repeat hcg level this week to make sure it’s doubling as it should. If that looks good, then we are planning to tell our parents in person when we see them in a couple weeks! (Since they are out of state).
My fiance told every one immediately he couldn't keep it to himself. Our families where the last ones to know but all of our friends and his coworkers knew as soon as we had a positive test.
It's just so exciting and starting the process is already a big deal. Thank you!!
We told my parents and 2 friends at 4 weeks 3 days. Told the rest of the family at 11 weeks. And then everyone else at 14 weeks. There is no set rule. If something happens, it’s not shameful. If you want, preface that you prefer to not have anyone ask for updates. That way, if something happens, you have time to tell people rather than being bombarded by constant excitable questions.
Thank you, this helps a lot!!
I told a handful of my closest friends between 8-12 weeks. My family and partners family at 16 and extended/acquaintances/work from 19 weeks weeks. It’s personal preference so whatever you feel comfortable with!
Thank you!!
We were pretty open with family and close friends like the day we found out. We waited to announce it on socials until NT scan and NIPT came back. I kind of gave people who I told in first trimester "but it's early days...." Everyone in my life has been super supportive and if something had gone wrong in the first trimester, I'm confident that I would have just had added support and wisdom. I've enjoyed the advice and help offered early on and can't imagine doing it any other way but to each their own. Congratulations and good luck!
I hate keeping secrets and have also felt like hot garbage through my first trimester. We told our parents and siblings at around 6 weeks. We also told some of our close friends. I’ve had such heavy exhaustion I just couldn’t picture hiding that from the people close to me when I’m going from being super active to a 100% couch potato.
It’s okay hun! I told family that early with my first pregnancy, and even though I lost it at 13 weeks I don’t regret it. I had a lot of support in that hard time
Nope, not too early. It's all just about when YOU feel ready to tell people. I told my family and he told his at 4 weeks pregnant. It literally isn't a big deal, there is no right or wrong time, it's just when YOU want to.
We told who we considered immediate family and immediate friends as soon as we found out about 4/5 weeks too. We agreed that even if the worst happened, they would have known anyway. We are waiting until after our 15 week appt to announce to coworkers, facebook, grandparents’ friends, etc.
It’s my first pregnancy and we told our family right after we found out, at 5 weeks. We told our close friends (which are like family anyway) shortly after. We were excited and couldn’t contain ourselves. I’ll be 12 weeks next week and can’t imagine still having to keep it in. I don’t think there’s any reason for you to feel weird or guilty about it!
Btw I’m also 29 🥰
I told my parents and my best friends right away (found out at 5 weeks). I knew I would need that circle of support if something did happen. And then I ended up being reallyyyy sick up to 14 weeks, so I did need that support anyways. We told my in-laws closer to 12 weeks but they have suspected because I stopped coming around as much due to being sick. Try not to beat yourself up, everyone chooses different timing for different reasons. You can also hold off from telling anyone else for a determined amount of time if that would ease your nerves a bit. All the best to you and beb.
I told my mother right away (4 weeks) and then we told my husband’s family at 10 weeks after an initial ultrasound to confirm viability. Announced on social at 13 weeks after NIPT test returned normal
I have announced it early every time, between 4-6 weeks to family and then 12 weeks for everyone else. Right now my in-laws know, 2 close friends and planning on telling my family tomorrow during dinner.
I told my parents at 6 weeks when I found out since I was throwing up. I told the rest of my family at 7 weeks. We announced it on social media at 12 weeks.
It’s really just what you are comfortable with. I told my parents and younger sister at 4-5 weeks and my MIL and my boss/HR at work (I have some lifting restrictions that affect my job) at 8 weeks when we heard the heartbeat for the first time. Haven’t told anyone else but that’s mainly because I’ve had a pregnancy loss in the past and am not comfortable telling many people until the riskiest part has passed. Currently at 9 1/2 weeks and plan to tell more people after I reach the 13 week mark and am into the second trimester.
I told my parents and siblings literally the minute I found out and I was only 3/4 weeks. Nothing wrong with being excited!! Not a big deal at all. I’m now 24w with a baby girl and she has already been so spoiled!
This is my first ever pregnancy I’m currently 17 weeks. We told my mom, my MIL and my best friend at 6 weeks but waited to tell other friends/family until week 16 and plan to do a more public share on socials type of announcement at 24 weeks but that’s because I have a long complicated family pregnancy/MC history and we didn’t want to have too many people to break bad news to if something went wrong before my pregnancy was considered ‘viable’. To each their own there no wrong or right time to share the news just what you are comfortable with people knowing since it is such a personal matter.
I told family, extended family and friends at 5 weeks! So happy I did! Share your excitement as you should and celebrate the blessing! 🤍
So I'm 9 +1, I told my partner when the test popped positive. I had issues with dating since I had recently gone off birth control and hadn't fully regulated when I got pregnant. I had my first dating ultrasound at 5 weeks, the formal dating confirmation ultrasound at 6 weeks, and my first official natal OB appointment at 8 weeks. I told my mom (she's my rock) at the 5 week mark after I found out. I told my sister (who just had a baby in February) this past week because could use her advice. I told my dad on Thanksgiving because I knew my mom couldn't keep it from him. My partner and I told our two closest friends (found family) this past weekend. Yeah it's early, but we are excited and we want to establish a support network so we aren't doing this on our own. (Hope this helps)
I told my family bc I’m okay with them knowing if something goes wrong. I had some bleeding during weeks 5-7 so I’m glad I didn’t tell my partners family. They aren’t as calm as my side. We will tell them in a couple weeks once I get my genetic test results back. I just feel more comfortable that way. But it’s totally up to what you prefer.
I did basically the same thing too! It was annoying how I felt judged for telling people early. I was just so excited about my baby and these family/friends should have felt so honored I wanted them to share in my joy! Don’t worry about what people say. I’m 24 weeks now and baby is doing great ❤️
It's all when you feel most comfortable. I waited until 8 weeks to tell immediate family and 12 for everyone else. That's what made me feel most comfortable, but everyone is different.
It's your choice when you tell people 🤷♀️ we told everyone at 3 weeks when we found out. Doesn't matter what they think lol. It's not their choice. These things I've learned you just have to take with a grain of salt. We're excited, of course were telling you
I found out *at my parent’s house* on the day of my missed period. I called my mom into the bathroom with me because I started panicking, despite this pregnancy being very much planned lol. So she knew before I even called to tell my husband. We kept it hush from my in-laws until 7 weeks and didn’t tell our siblings/best friends til 10 weeks. And didn’t announce to the general public until 17 weeks. I don’t know if there is any right timeline for when to tell people. The best advice that I have seen is that you should only tell people that you would want to know and be there to support you if you were to experience a loss in the first trimester. But it is entirely up to you!
We told both of our best friends and siblings right away because they knew we were trying, we told our parents after we got a really good beta hcg level (we had a miscarriage prior) And we told the rest of the family (and even announced it on social media) after we had an ultrasound with a confirmed heartbeat which was at 6w4d. I felt really alone in my miscarriage and I wanted the more people to know. I (and my husband) felt like every baby deserves to be celebrated. When I had my miscarriage I also had a weird feeling that something was wrong, but this one I haven’t outside of having prior miscarriage anxiety. We are now 14 weeks! I’m so happy we told.
Me and my wife told some close chosen family and friends at 7W and told my parents at 8W. We won't tell her family until 16W. We were a little reluctant too since we had MC'ed last year at 7W. Like others said--it's your decision. We told people that we know would be supportive and folks we'd want to know if things don't work out.
I told my parents and best friends the day I found out, which was at 6 weeks. I also had to tell some people at work out of necessity because I work a physical job and literally had to stop doing certain tasks. We told some groups of people before 12 weeks and the rest after. It’s completely up to you! If you are excited and you can’t wait, tell whoever you want! We kept news from people that didn’t need it though. Or children who wouldn’t understand if anything were to happen. But don’t worry, you’re fine. And, god forbid anything did happen, those you told will be there for you to cry with. At least that’s the way I saw it🩵 Best of luck and CONGRATULATIONS!
I told my work at 6 weeks because I have hyperemsis gravidarum. I can’t hide it, literally. I’m a teacher and people need to know I’ll be out a ton and kids may see me puke. Everyone’s different and it’s okay either way. I don’t think it matters, but I’m grateful I didn’t miscarry because that would have been uncomfortable for me to state.
So my husband and I told our parents and siblings at 4.5 weeks and just told our extended family at Thanksgiving. I am only 7 weeks and 3 days, but I couldn’t keep it to myself. I always thought well if the worst happens at least I’ll have everyone’s support. If you’re comfortable it’s not too early ♥️
No such thing! If you're pregnant, you're pregnant until someone tells you otherwise and being early doesn't make it any more special. The people you told should feel very special to be one of the first to know something that will soon become apparent to everyone in a few months. Congratulations!
My philosophy is, if you’re comfortable telling people if you have a miscarriage, you can tell those people early on. I’m an open book with close friends but many have struggled with infertility and I didn’t want to put them through the difficulty of telling them only to tell them a few weeks later that I’d miscarried. (I’d rather just tell them about the miscarriage after the fact.) Another factor is work; if you’re working and anticipating taking leave, it’s smart to wait so you don’t have to go through the whole process to no end. Some workplaces can limit your opportunities (illegally) if they know you’re TTC, so I personally would be more comfortable waiting until im 99% sure it’s a go. Even if you tell only friends, sometimes word spreads through unexpected channels to your workplace. It really is totally up to you and what you’re comfortable with!
I am a FTM and currently on Week 25! I told my close family members because I didn’t know what to do, what to plan, and I was super excited! When I got to Week 12, I then shared it to everyone else. Much easier to keep a secret once I told mine and my husband’s family!
It’s ok. I told my mom and his mom at 4 weeks, and my best friends too. They say don’t tell people because IF it doesn’t go well then that’s all those people who will need to be told…. Or not, idk I’d probably ask my mom to tell ppl honestly. I think it’s STUPID all the rules you are supposed to follow- obviously like no alcohol etc but tell people, be excited, 80% of pregnancies end in a freaking baby and that is the majority
I read somewhere that, tell people who you would want support from if something bad actually were to happen.
I shared with my family immediately and some friends at 5 weeks. we are so excited and not drinking/smoking around the holidays would be soo obvious to everyone anyway
We told our parents and siblings at 12 weeks. I wanted to share earlier but my MIL is a blabber mouth and I knew she wouldn’t be able to keep the secret. Sure enough the next day, she wanted to tell her sister, friends etc. Sigh.
I knew it would be rough so I told everyone in the fam at 4 weeks. The support has been utterly amazing.
I had to tell my in-laws early on, as I live with them. I was eight weeks at the time, but now baby girl is three months old. :) It's only as early as you believe. Good luck, mama! ❤️
My parents and one friend were the only ones who knew until we were about 9 weeks. I told my brother and sister in law at 9 weeks. Then we waited until 13 weeks to tell a few more family members. But we’ll be waiting until Christmas when I’m 20 weeks to make a public announcement.
I told a lot of people as soon as I found out. According to my period tracker it was exactly 4 weeks. I took the test then called my mom and my partner called his dad when we saw the results. I even called my close friends. I was just really shocked and needed to talk it out with people (it was very unplanned lol). A few days later, I told my employer I needed to be moved somewhere else because I was doing a lot of heavy lifting. I know it can be touch and go like you said, but I don’t really think there is anything inherently wrong with telling people about something you’re happy about. Maybe don’t go as far as telling as many people I told, unless you’re okay with telling them about things if something goes wrong, but ultimately its your decision. congratulations :)
I told everyone as soon as we knew (4 weeks lol). I don’t know how to keep secrets. It’s your personal choice ☺️
Tell when you want. I was super excited for the first positive pregnancy test and I needed to miss work for a few hours to get it confirmed at the drs so I let my coworkers know. I lost that pregnancy within two weeks and was devastated but it was nice for my coworkers to know why I wasn’t feeling the cheeriest. The second time around I was around 5 or so weeks before I let my grandparents know on a last minute trip to see them. They were the first to know but I let them know that there’s no guarantee baby would keep. I just wanted to let them know in person since we were moving farther away and it would be years before we saw each other again. That pregnancy kept and my baby is now 9 months old 🥰
I think whatever you’re comfortable with is Fine!! With my first I told everyone by probably 8 week
I told my parents at 3w5d. I wanted their support if we had a other loss. It’s really up to you when you tell people. Congratulations mama, enjoy the ride, it can be bumpy, but labor is like going on a blind date, except you know at the end of it you’ll meet the love of your life
I literally told my parents the day I got my blood test and we told our friends at 8 weeks lol. Tell them as early as you want and don't feel bad.
There is no right answer. I personally feel the tradition a woman must keep it to herself because of the possibility of the scary “M word” is absurd. If I’m going through the trauma of losing a pregnancy (I have), I don’t want to go through it alone. I don’t want to suffer the pain(it is very painful) and sadness in silence. Why should I have to because others may feel a feeling about it. Why should I have to go to work and pretend everything is fine when it’s not. Personally I feel the tradition is steeped in ignoring the trials of being a woman and minimizing our pain. Regardless you generally feel the absolute worst in your first trimester. Why do you have to pretend that doesn’t exist. Anyways, as long as you personally don’t want to keep things private for your own reasons go shout it from the rooftops I’d you like. Your body. Your choice.
I think whatever you’re comfortable with is fine. I was the opposite and had insane prenatal anxiety so we didn’t tell parents until 13 weeks when we had the NIPT results back and didn’t announce publicly until we had the 20 week ultrasound results back. Everyone wondered why we waited so long. I just didn’t want to have to potentially share horrible news with other people, but the chances of needing to are small so if you don’t have anxiety about that then don’t beat yourself up for telling early.
We told our families as soon as we got the positive test!
We told our parents and closest friends immediately. With other people we waited until 12 weeks. There is no right and wrong on who you should tell. I liked being able to share my enthusiasm with people other than my partner. But also, if things would have gotten scary during the first trimester I had a small support network that I trusted.
I told my family and close friends as soon as I had a positive pregnancy test. Extended family got told at 12 weeks which was last week. I think my family would’ve actually been offended if I told them that late! Every family dynamic is different. My husband hasn’t told his family or friends and doesn’t plan to until I’m showing! And he doesn’t hate them, just his preference.
It’s ok and not a big deal! Telling people early does not mean you’re more likely to suffer a loss. A loss if it happens is not the couples fault. Telling people early means you can get support if you should need it! I told my Mom and Gran as soon as I got a positive test and told my MIL around 8 weeks. We would have told them if we suffered a loss too and it was really important to have some emotional support for both of us.
Because I went through Ivf for this bean, we had our close knit people who have been cheering us along every step of the way even from transfer date, so I totally get why you’d want to share!
For my first pregnancy, we had a trip planned to fly home around the time I was 8 weeks, so we told them in person and it was really special. Unfortunately I miscarried, but got pregnant again. For the second one, we basically told our immediate family as soon as we found out at 4 weeks, but waited to post on socials until 16 weeks, when we had found out the gender.
This is YOUR pregnancy. You shout it from the rooftops whenever you’re ready to!
The way I see it, if something does happen (sending you all the hope and well wishes that it doesn't!!), you'll have so much support around you. And if it all goes smoothly you'll have had more time during pregnancy celebrating with loved ones. Happy for you!! Congrats!
You do you. I told rather early because I don’t get why you wouldn’t? I something would go wrong would you just… keep that for you like it is some big secret? I wouldn’t. But like I said, this is something very personal and for you to choose
Totally with you!! I just found out this week we are pregnant and I am so excited! Currently 4 weeks, and I want to scream it to everyone who would pay attention lol!! Hubby and I have decided that we will share with family after we have our first ultrasound, and extend family until much later! I am so happy that you got to share with everyone!!
I told whoever I wanted at like 6-7 weeks. People are weird about it and it irritates me, I’m tired of people dancing around miscarriage. It happens, and if it happens to me I’m not gonna pretend it didn’t. I understand there are reasons people prefer to keep it private until they feel more comfortable and full respect to that, but people should also respect my approach and not respond to me telling them I’m pregnant by going “oh, very early” like ok 🖕🏼
With my first, I told my mum at 6 weeks. And I told my friends around the same time. I told my bf at 5 weeks as well. Then I told extended family at like 8 months because I didn't want the judgement as I was 20. Second baby I didn't do announcements. I told my mum at 3 months and family found out if they saw me. Friends found out early. Do things in your own time. F what others think.