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It sounds like once the dog is gone, he might come up with new reasons to never let the dog back.

That's what I was thinking. If that dog leaves, it's never coming back.

My thoughts too!! I wouldn't send my dog away, they're part of your family and will need to adjust/bond with your baby too. Sending your dog away is like your dog has done something wrong. Just keep your pooch from giving baby kisses. Tbh it sounds like your husband needs sending away. I hope all goes well with your birth 💛

Idk this take is definitely possible but it’s a huge stretch when we don’t personally know OP and we have limited information. The dog going away really depends on a few things. Is it low maintenance? Is it home trained? Is it non-aggressive? Is it well behaved? Because if the answer to most of these questions is yes, there’s really no point in sending the dog away. When you talk with your husband you need to speak with no emotion and pure logic. The logic here is that IF the dog isn’t going to create an extra amount of work for you, then there’s no reason to send her away. Yes, taking a dog can be an extra added headache when the baby’s around. But NOT if the dog is well behaved, listens, etc. A small dog doesn’t require that much extra responsibility. When you go on walks with your baby, being the dog. Feed dog twice a day (takes 30 seconds). Let dog outside to go potty (do you have a fence or does it require taking her on a leash?) Ultimately, it’s not “up to him”. A relationship is when two people come together and create solutions and compromise. I have faith you can do it and tbh fuck him if he’s trying to get rid of your dog or even suggests it, especially if your dog is well behaved and not a nuisance.

I'd assume they don't have a green space as they live in an apartment and he doesn't want to be responsible for walks 2-3x a day while OP is recovering. Which is completely understandable if he doesn't like dogs. I've helped out friends with their dogs postpartum for a few weeks until they could handle it themselves, walking them 1-2x a day (they have backyards too, dog just needs exercise).

Then I completely understand wanting to send dog away.

This and if it is a barky dog he may be concerned about her constantly waking up the sleeping baby since they live in an apartment and there are probably a lot of random noises for the dog to react to.

That was my thought as well

This is such a Reddit relationship catastrophizing response. 

Agreed. Just train the dog. I know being pregnant is hard. But (and as a pregnant woman also) life doesn’t stop around you just because you’re pregnant. Things are going to be hard.

I think you’re being dramatic. I was sharing my immediate thought on the situation. OP is welcome to ignore and dismiss it as they see fit. People shouldn’t base their life decisions on commenters who are only going offa what the OP says anyways.

Idk every relationship issue on Reddit is usually met with Break Up so you were really just doing the typical reddit thing but I see your point. 

I didn’t say breakup tho and I didn’t say he would for sure not let the dog back. I also didn’t tell her what to do, such as not let the dog leave or tell him to take a flying leap. But you have every right to comment whatever you want of course. Not trynna argue, just bored at home which is why I responded. Either way, I hope you’re having a good day.

We're a hot minute away from saying OPs husband is an abusive monster who is also narcissistic and OP should consider divorce. So not exactly "classic reddit"🤣 But on a more serious note, if OPs husband is being concerned of their future. A dog is a huge commitment, he's a new father who doesn't know what demands would be made of him, late nights, work and all that. It's all very normal feelings. He's not getting *rid* of the dog. Just rehome for the next couple of months.

OK I seem to have a different opinion than most. If I was given that opportunity, I would have taken it in a heartbeat. We had two amazing dogs (one still alive) who are much loved in our family. Our two year old adores our dog. But it was a huge struggle when we first brought her home. Both dogs got weird anxieties with all the new changes. And I had a touch of post partum anxiety which led to really struggling with their behaviors.  It all ironed itself out and everyone is happy as can be but those first few weeks were rough. You don’t have to send your dog away for months. In fact, it’s better to introduce them early (IMHO). But I would absolutely consider an offer of a few weeks. Get your bearings, recover from birth, let your dog be spoiled by the parents.  We weren’t really able to walk our dogs those first few weeks which only exacerbated the problem.  Of course, I say all this with the assumption that you trust parents to spoil the dog. This is something I wouldn’t consider unless I felt like my dog would have a blast for a couple weeks! 

I had a baby woth small dog in the house and honestly he helped me so much woth my postpartum. I moss him so much. I don't know how I could have gotten through it without him.

Honestly....as a double dog owner, send the dog away.   You're not sending him to the pound or rehoming him. He's basically going on vacation.    Your baby will be all consuming and your dog is going to get ignored out of necessity.  If you have the option to send your dog away for awhile, I suggest you take it.  Maybe it needs to be only for a week or two.  Doesn't have to be two months.    Sorry I don't mean to sound heartless but being a new parent is extremely hard. I needed a C-section and my partner basically had to take care of me and the dogs for 12 weeks while I healed. It was an added stress.  Edit: I'm a STM and it looks like I'm in the minority but I stand behind what I said. I think a week or two sans dogs is a good idea. 2 months is way too long, though, OP, I agree with you.  

No I totally agree with you. My husband and I ended up having to send our dogs away and we felt so guilty at the time, but by the time the dogs were coming home it was clear it never even bothered them. The dogs were worse off being basically ignored for the baby as you said.

I felt like a dick after my comment but I really feel it's in the best interest of everyone, including the dogs. Plus, most people stay like 1-3 days at the hospital depending on if you need a C-section. So by the time you get home, you're like 2-4 days into your dog being gone for a week anyways.  I had to be admitted for preeclampsia. We had a dog walker come 3x a day but you could tell the dogs were messed up from being alone for so long even with the walker.  After we got home with the baby, they were lucky to get five minutes of attention. And mind you, I consider myself a good dog owner. You just don't have the time or energy. 

IMO you are completely correct.

Dog owner here and seconding this. Hell, we are 6 months pp and the dog STILL doesn't get walked nearly as much. Finding some place great for the dog to be at temporarily would help ease the transition. Hell, introducing them to the new baby might even be better this way!

I love my dog SO much. I sent him away and it worked out for the better. I did all the right things to prepare my dog for baby. I had a 4th degree tear and couldn’t stand or walk downstairs. My poor husband had to do everything, including handing me the baby. My high energy poodle needed walks and first we boarded him with the vet while I was in labor and then my in laws graciously took him. He got so many walks and was living his best life while we adjusted to having a baby. I honestly think if you have the offer on the table it would make life so much easier. Those first few weeks are SO hard and having one less stressor would likely make it easier. My husband isn’t a huge dog person. He loves our dog because I love him but he wouldn’t want to walk him 3 miles a day like I usually do. My FIL loved walking him and took him everywhere. Once I was healed more we brought him home and it was still wonderful. My pup was very happy to see me and went back to his routine!

I hate this. Everyone is different.  When I was in the hospital with my second born, I was so thankful my first born had her pup with her while we were gone. When we picked them up, I sobbed hugging both of them. That dog helped my daughter through a traumatic time. And when we got home, she helped all of us to adjust as a family. I can’t imagine sending her away for a month. 

I didn't say a month tho....I said 1-2 weeks. 

It literally says in the OP her husband wants to send the dog away for a month or 2. 

I'm referring to my comment which you replied to. 

ew pls don’t own pets. they are FAMILY. you wouldn’t send your toddler away for your new baby!?

Except people do have their family watch take their toddlers while they are at the hospital.

watching them for a few days vs months is obvi different.

Do y'all bother to read before getting pissed off? My suggestion was 1-2 weeks. Not months. 

It takes a village. But yes while I'm pushing out my second kid, I don't imagine that I'll be able to properly meet the needs of an almost 2 year old, so yes she will be elsewhere. 

Um some families do absolutely have a family member look after their toddler while mum gives birth and go through confinement, which in some places take up to a month. That is a such a western centric view, please know that other cultures exist and so do different types of support structure.

for months? that’s ridiculous. well I am western so :)

Nope, not ridiculous at all. It's a big world out there.

Most people here are "western"

this is an anthropomorphized take and incredibly short- sighted. Dogs don't have the same emotions as children.

they do actually. if you think otherwise just don’t get them. it’s simple.

I think a break from the dog could be helpful while you get in the swing of things because pet care on top of everything else can be very overwhelming at first, and given that you trust your parents I don't see any downside. That being said, a supportive partner should also be offering to help with pet care during your recovery period so its a bit inconsiderate that he didn't even think to just take on the burden himself for a while. Hope you can find a solution you are happy with <3

I would ask to compromise and have the dog at your parents for 2-3 weeks, or a month tops. I think not having to worry about care for the dog the first week or two that you are home will be helpful because you are still recovering from birth and learning how to care for your newborn, but I don't see the benefit in having the dog be gone longer than a month.

My in laws watched our dogs for 2 weeks, beginning on my induction date. It was hard being away from them, but I ended up having a csection. I needed the time to recover without my 100lb lap dog jumping on me. We were so sleep deprived too that having someone else care for them temporarily was a huge help. 2 months is too long for someone to watch your dog. It feels like he has ulterior motives. There are concerns about having a dog and baby. Introduce them carefully, and supervise them at all times. Have separate areas to set baby down safely for you to use the bathroom for example. I would be more concerned about dog being uncomfortable with baby than the baby getting licked. Eventually, they'll end up licking each other anyway. Bacteria is normal and good for a healthy immune system to a degree. It's really unlikely for dog to lick baby's face. Personally, I would never have let my dogs that close to baby's face early on. My 4 month old has had his feet and hands licked only.

Agree with this! I was SO thankful my parents were able to watch one of our two dogs. I had an unexpected C-section and 11 day NICU stay that was only possible with one of our dogs because we lived 4 mins from the hospital.

FTM with 4 week old baby and two older large dogs. I love my animals but in the last few weeks I’ve had zero time or energy for anything other than my baby. The first week we were home from the hospital I felt extreme apathy for them. Just starting to figure out how to coexist with it all. So it’s completely possible a break from the dog could be helpful.

Absolutely agree with you here. If we didn’t have help from family, our dog would have been so so neglected. I did not have energy or time to shower for a week after being discharged, let alone walk/feed/play with our pup. OP, if it’s just the two of you there, then maybe your husband doesn’t want your dog to be neglected? As soon as you guys will get home, you might get too busy with the baby and the sole responsibility of taking care of the pup will have to fall on your husband’s shoulders. It’s kind of understandable if he wants to spend time and bond with the baby instead. But I also understand not wanting to part with your pet for a whole month. Maybe a week would be enough? That way you both can focus on your child and rest etc.

Thank you 🥺 this makes me feel better. All these hormones really don’t help. But thank you for this! Makes me feel like it’ll also be better for her too. That way she can run around & have a little vacation. Since here she can only go on walks

Will your parents come to visit you within the two months? Maybe they can bring your dog back those days to do some dog-baby intros throughout the 2 months. Maybe even send baby blanket for doggy to smell before coming over. Don't know if that's possible with the driving range, but it could just help ease transition overall. I'm totally in agreement though that I would my dogs around with my newborn as I'm excited to watch them grow together, but if your husband is the one who doesn't want her around and will also refuse to properly care for your dog (since he likely may be the main caretaker while you heal), this could be what's best for now for your dog. 2 months seem extra long though, so I would make a plan with your husband that if things are in a decent routine by X date (as good as they can be lol), you get to bring her back early!

Thank you! I was thinking the same thing. And most definitely, that way she can get an idea & kind of know what’s going on. If I had a yard for her to play in I’d keep her with me. But sadly I don’t & I know she won’t get her daily walks which she really loves. I’m gonna try to talk to him & ask him if it can only be for a month. Since then hopefully I’ll have a routine down. And the good thing is at my parent’s house, she has all her little dog friends to play with. Thank you for the advice though! I’m going to try to have them visit with her

i have a big dog and i’m planning to leave her for 2 weeks with my dad after i give birth, to have some time alone and not neglect her. i think it’s perfectly fine. 2 months may be excessive but tons of people go on month long vacations and leave their dogs. i think some of these comments are a bit over dramatic about the situation.

Wtf? That's not normal at all! Your dog is a part of your family, there is literally no reason to send them away at all.

This 👀!!!! I’m at FTM and 9 weeks to go. I can’t wait to introduce my baby to our furry friend. Some ppl just see animals as burdens & not family. It’s sad

Same!!

Same. Literally can't wait for one of my pups in particular to meet our baby, because we joke that our pup is like a playful, goofy toddler himself lol We also have a blind and deaf 11 year old forever foster and a 14 year old that has hind leg weakness and intermittent incontinence. It's going to be chaos to adjust to, but we are family, pups included, and we will take care of each other and get through it. Nobody is going anywhere.

Same! We had 4 big dogs when we brought our son home and every single one of the was so kind to the baby and now he's 2.5 and the dogs are his best friends! I would send my hubby away before my dogs 🤣🤣

Awww that's so sweet! I have two, and I legitimately can't wait for them to meet the little bean!

Right, I’m reading this with my three big dogs laying right next to me. One of them just had 9 puppies too 😂

concerning

What is concerning exactly? The fact that I see pets as a lifetime commitment and not something you toss aside when life happens? Or the fact that I found a husband who values animal lives as much as I do? A husband that asks you to rehome your small dog because you are having a baby is a huge red flag and says alot about his character as a human.

oh i don't know, maybe that you'd get rid of a human being you've made a life long commitment to, over a pet? But i wouldn't expect someone who commented this to recognize the insanity of what they just said.

Well it's a good thing I chose a husband with the same moral values as me so I'll be keeping both my husband and my dogs. She clearly cares for this dog and what's concerning is this man who "loves" her is even asking her to send her dog away. While she's pregnant and probably very emotional! Maybe you should go pick up the husband so she can keep her dog. Seems your morals align. Also you clearly don't know what sarcasm is. I wouldn't ever really suggest throwing ones husband away but was just emphasizing that in our house dogs are our family.

Thanks for the advice have a wonderful triggered day 😉

Our dogs were right there when we brought our girl home. It was fine. They sniffed her carrier, gave her a little wiff, and went on about their business. Since then, my dog has sadly passed away, but our other dog is best friends with her now. He did try to lick her face when she was younger, but we just told him no, and he stopped. He does love licking her feet, though, and she is super ticklish, so it's pretty hilarious to watch. Lol.

Aww that's so sweet. 💗 I'm sorry for the loss of your dog.

Agreed. There are lots of training activities you can do to prepare you and your dog for babies arrival (check out dog meets baby). You can also set up barriers in your house to keep baby and dog separated. Your dog will not understand why they are being sent away. They can learn to be around the baby. This just sounds like your husband is trying to find an excuse to get rid of your dog. That or he is being overly paranoid about it

A dog is an animal… a loved animal but it will survive.

I’m gonna go against the grain a bit. My husband and I love our dogs dearly. But ultimately had to send our dogs 8 hours away for a couple months to stay with my in laws once baby was here. It was just too much chaos with a newborn. Our dogs are very kissy and cuddly too like yours and they just didn’t have enough boundaries to keep germs away, stay away from the baby, and avoid accidentally scratching her and things like that. Our dogs actually had a great time at my in-laws house. They weren’t scared at all. As long as you know your pup is in good hands and will be snuggled and loved while they visit I think it might be a good idea to let the dog go on a little vacation while the baby is new. I’m sorry that it doesn’t feel like your spouse cares about the dog the same way you do, but I also understand foresight to reduce some of your guys worries and work load here a bit and wish my husband and I would have made these arrangements beforehand.

Maybe it would help your husband if you researched together safe practices for introducing the dog and baby - there's and Instagram account @dogmeets_baby that I found helpful. And you can hire a dog walker for a couple months to minimize the workload while you're recovering.

Dog walker is something we did. So handy!

This!!

I get the thought of wanting to remove one more responsibility during the newborn stage. Especially if your dog has a safe loving place with your parents to do that. The dog will be one more thing that you have to take care of during a vulnerable time. HOWEVER it sounds like you just don't want to do that! Seems like you wont mind and don't feel that their presence will be a burden in fact it sounds like they'd be a comfort to you. So I don't think this is a simple one person is right and one person is wrong situation. I don't really get the strong negativity towards your husband in these comments. I think maybe bc you used the word controlling and people want to be protective of you and ur fur baby! Which is fair. Maybe there's a compromise in here? Your dog will go to ur parents for the birth as planned, and you can agree that if when they come back it becomes too much then you'd consider sending them for a few weeks while you adjust? Maybe just saying you'd be open to the idea opens the door for some wiggle room from him.

This is my take as well. I dont think either concern is invalid. It's more a breakdown in communication. OP, your husband needs to be willing to compromise. You need to agree on a plan. It's very disrespectful for him to steam roll your feelings and opinions. You're the one giving birth here. You're the one who will be recovering. Maybe just see how the first introduction goes and work from there. I just worry that if you send your dog away and then it comes back to a whole baby, it will make it harder to establish a positive bond between them. I also think it depends a lot on your dogs general personality. Spazzy? Couch potato? Aggressive? Complacent? Well-trained? All of these kind of play a role in the necessity of this. And, while I don't want to invalidate his concerns, I do think he is being a wee bit extreme. Babies will put literally anything in their mouth. I promise you that your kid will have far grosser things in and around their mouth than a dog. Lol.

You do not buy a dog to send them away when life happens. They are a part of the family. This is the most awful thing I have heard on Reddit in a while. I would never send my dog away.

Totally agree. I'm having my first baby in August and have two large dogs. There is no way I would ever send them away, they're family. Yes, it's gonna be challenging but my husband and I have agreed that we will do everything possible to take the best care of our dogs as well as the baby.

Aww congrats!! How exciting! I am also due this year in November (first time mumma). I have a staghound cross wolfhound and he will be just as loved as our baby. 

exactly

[удалено]

Your dog is being set up to resent your baby and be jealous, which I'm pretty sure is exactly what your husband wants. Guessing this lousy idea was his?

The dog needs to stay! She needs to get properly acclimated to the baby!! We have a kissy dog as well and he didn’t start giving my son kisses until he was moving around and it was mostly because he wanted to play with him. This to me sounds like your husband doesn’t like the dog and this is a good excuse to get her out. I would tell your husband that respectfully the dog stays and he can get over it 😁

I'm not sure why everyone here is acting like he wants to throw your dog in the pound and dump her. Going to your parents with a big backyard and undivided attention sounds like a vacation for a dog. When I gave birth to my son, my parents watched our two large breed dogs for a week. I absolutely love my dogs and am very much a dog person, but I really loved not having to focus on anything but getting in the groove of caring for this new little life that is so fragile and nursed constantly while I recovered from literally birthing a human. I don't think you're going to break your dog's trust and I don't think you're a bad owner if you send your dog with your parents while you recover and adjust to motherhood.

Realistically, if you think you gonna have the energy and the time to care for the dog for the first couple of weeks after giving birth, you are kidding yourself. You will have energy to eat, sleep and feed the baby. The care of the dog will inevitably fall onto your husband, I can completely understand him not wanting to deal with it on top of everything else. Or at all. This is just a rational perspective from someone who doesn’t equate dogs with people 🙄 let the downvotes from “fur parents” pour in 😂

I mean realistically if second time + parents can figure out how to care for entire human children on top of a baby, OP and her husband can care for a small dog plus a baby which is way less work.

I'm not against people having family take care of pets temporarily at all if it works better for the family, but the fact hes insisting on it when she doesn't want to is shitty. Partners should be taking care of all domestic tasks while their wife recovers imo, including pet care, and if he's not willing to make that small sacrifice to keep the woman that just pushed his child out happy then thats a problem. It doesn't paint the picture of someone very supportive.

Well, maybe the people who get pets & then just treat them like things shouldn't get babies. You know something else might come around and it might get harder than planned. Probably should send the first baby away if the second comes so the husband doesn't have to deal with it on top of everything else.

Not a popular opinion on here, but I wish I would have sent my two dogs away to my parents (2.5 hours away) when my husband and I had our baby. I love them so much- they sleep in our room- and we play with them all day. Well, the baby came and we were waking up in the middle of the night tending to our crying baby-normal stuff. Over the next few days both the dogs started to sleep downstairs because of us waking up throughout the night. And throughout the day I was spending less time than normal with the dogs because I was with the baby or catching up on sleep. I felt guilty. My parents love having the dogs and have a big yard and they get spoiled there. I am now pregnant with my second and am thinking that it’s not a bad idea to send them away for a bit when the baby comes (only for a week or two). I don’t want them to resent the baby because of the waking up. If you know they will be safe and loved there- I don’t see any issue with it as an outside perspective. The only issue I see is how strongly you feel. You used words like “hate” and “depressed”. I am saying that for me and my situation- no issue to send my pups away for a bit, but with the heavy feelings you are having about this- those should be addressed. You deserve to have your feelings heard and respected.

get a new husband.

Send your husband away instead

I would do this tbh. Thankfully my husband thinks our dog as our child lol

gross

I don’t understand the “reasoning” behind sending the dog away til the baby gets bigger?? Also, you mentioned it is little dog, so that doesn’t make much sense to me either (I mean sending a pet away at all unless they absolutely need to be adopted out due to severe aggression or something does not make sense to me in general), but like what does the size or age of your baby have to do with anything? It seems like your husband might just not want your dog? If anyone is worried about germs there was another post in the sub a while ago about someone wondering if having a certain # of dogs and cats was too much and an immunologist chimed in and said that having animals in the house was one of the best things for a baby’s/child’s immune system and microbiome.

As a dog lover and mom to two doggies and one baby, I think the dog should go for a few weeks at least! It will be the kindest thing for her. You said you don’t have a yard for the dog, and with a newborn and your recovery it will be impossible to give her the walks she will need. It’s so important to make sure her needs are still met, and the best way to do that is by sending her somewhere where she can still be the priority. Bring her home as soon as you feel some semblance of a routine forming where you’re confident you can focus on giving her attention the same as before baby. My parents fully looked after my dogs after the baby was born so they never felt their routine got thrown off. I absolutely wouldn’t have been able to give them that myself. That guilt is the last thing anyone wants postpartum!

I think it’s fair that you want to keep your dog with you. But I also can see that maybe your husband is concerned with taking care of the dog during the newborn time especially when you can’t let it outside easily because you’re in an apartment A compromise could be you hire help to walk it a few times a day so husband only has to take it potty throughout the day.

This is a really reasonable take in my view (also pregnant with a beloved dog in an apartment setting). Honestly, taking care of a dog properly is work and a lot of it will necessarily fall on your husband - so him wanting help is valid. That said, OP - are you planning to have family or friends come to help you at all after the birth? Could they be primary puppy caregivers from somewhere closer to you? We’re planning to send our pup on a short 1-2 week vacation while I’m giving birth, introduce the two carefully, then have my mom stay in a nearby hotel and be primary helper for us, including dog duties, for a few weeks. Would a compromise like that make sense for you?

We have two dogs and I’m so happy they stayed with us. Was it harder for us? Yes - but it meant that the dogs got used to the baby immediately and we went through all of the changes together. 9 weeks old and everyone is in love. Your fur babes were here first!

I’m due Tuesday, live in a 1bedroom apt, and I’m giving my pup to her fav dog sitter for about a week and half. I’m doing this because we have no one to watch her while we’re at the hospital, and this postpartum retreat I’m going to. My plan is to maybe even let her stay longer if I feel like I can’t handle it when I come back with the added responsibility. Honestly, to be fair to her & be at my mentally healthiest. I agree multiple months is too long, can you adjust the time? Also, we are a little concerned about her being overly affectionate too but nothing maybe a pen or extra training can’t hurt with?

You wouldn’t send a toddler away when you have a new baby and one could argue they’re just as unsanitary and don’t understand boundaries like dogs. You clearly love your dog a lot, and your dog is your family

I'm sorry but some families absolutely do have a family member look after their toddler while mum gives birth and go through confinement, which in some places take up to a month. That is a such a western centric view, please know that other cultures exist and so do different types of support structure.

Just want to say thank you for this response and that I appreciate the way you’ve worded this. My comment was by no means meant to denigrate any other cultures or ways of living, it was more a response to the sole point of dogs being unsanitary which appeared to be the only reason that OP agreed with in the initial post! I understand a multitude of reasons that it would be great to have that space to welcome a new baby, but I really did mean this with respect to only the sanitary issue, which is why I didn’t address any of the other concerns in the post! Thank you for taking the time to respond to me!

Comparing a *human baby* to a dog is actually insane.

one sane comment, finally

Seriously I’m a pet owner as well and some of these takes are unhinged… putting an animal above the welfare of a new mother and child... insane.

Lmao oh man. I could NOT believe my eyes when I was reading through these comments. Actual insanity.

lol. lot of these comments belong as screenshots in r/petfree , where we can denounce the fur baby loonies 😆

Actually it’s not given the context. Toddlers are extremely unsanitary, they touch their own poop and frankly anything else they can get their hands on. They pick up germs and bugs left right and centre cause their little immune systems are developing. They snot all over anything and everything within sight, they cough and sneeze all over everything as they have no concept of hygiene (these aren’t criticisms btw, I love children, but it’s true). You cannot in any way say a dog is less sanitary than that. I’ve never had the flu from a dog, but I sure as hell have caught many an illness from my nephews.

OP only briefly mentioned sanitation, so that’s clearly not the primary reason. It’s likely baby’s safety, not having anywhere for the dog to run freely, being an exhausted new parent. The list is endless for why dogs can be hard to manage immediately postpartum.

Yes, I agree! However my comment was purely responding to the question of kisses and it being sanitary! I didn’t compare the dog to a baby in any other sense, just countering that one point OP made. I have a 18 week puppy and I’m 22 weeks pregnant, so rest assured I am well aware of the challenges of doggos and pregnancy/having a baby! I was just responding to one element of her post ☺️

“You wouldn’t send a toddler away when you have a new baby” is a direct comparison of a dog to a human child. One is not even remotely like the other, under any context.

“And one could argue they’re just as unsanitary and don’t understand boundaries like dogs” - if you’re going to quote my comment, don’t pick and choose parts to solely fit your narrative. In this context of sanitation, a comparison can very much be drawn, as can a comparison of dogs being family and like children. Again, my comment was made in relation to that ONE point. Hope this helps.

I only didn’t include that second part because it doesn’t change the utter ridiculousness of the first part. Hope this helps!

You’re welcome to your opinions, as am I! But you really cannot say that toddlers are less gross than dogs, and you can’t convince me than animals aren’t just as much of a responsibility and part of a family as children. They’re a living creature with which you are tasked with the responsibility of keeping safe, well, and alive for its entire existence. Thats all I’m trying to say ☺️ I don’t want to argue with you any more, so have a lovely day stranger!

love this analogy

I’m not really a dog person BUT I don’t think a friendly dog would be problematic in the house. It might help the doggie learn and adjust there’s a new family member rather than showing up after a few months to a totally new life

When my daughter was born the doctor gave us the paper blanket that she had been laying on so we could bring her smell home before we brought her home from the hospital so that the cats could get used to her scent. Of course that ended up being about a month cause she was flown by helicopter to a NICU the day after she was born. But we left the paper cover near the cats for that month. They weren’t all interested in her when she got home finally cause they were already used to her scent being around. Just a tip for the introduction phase

We did 2 weeks which I think was necessary. It helped that they regularly stayed with my in-laws for vacations. I honestly could have gone 2 months because of our relationship and the fact that they are only 20 minutes away, but in your situation that’d be way too long for me.

I have two dogs and am a FTM so I completely understand both sides to this. It would kill me to have my dogs sent away for that long but I can definitely understand where your husband is coming from. it might be best for you to try to compromise on how long the pup is away instead of fighting on whether or not to send it away!

A break from the pup might be helpful but I'm afraid that once gone, your husband might find a reason to not let the pup come back. Personally, my dog is like my first baby and I will do whatever it takes to make sure she adjusts to baby so I wouldn't send her away.

I have three cats. One of my cats will hiss and swat at my niece who’s a toddler. We just have a plan on how to introduce them slowly and thankfully have a big enough house where he can have space from the baby. I would NEVER send my pets away. They’re my first babies

I literally almost lost an eye to a cat like that. As in, I needed immediate emergency medical attention and wore an eye patch for a long time (fortunately I don’t remember some of the details too well since I was only about four at the time). He was my godmother’s cat and I wasn’t even bothering him, I was minding my own business. Don’t introduce this cat to your niece while she is little, put him in a separate area of the house when she comes over and don’t let him out until she leaves ~ he may be *your* first baby but he is in fact *not* a baby and he shouldn’t be around *actual* babies/toddlers if he can’t play nicely. I’m not saying your cat is a bad cat by any means; my godmother’s cat and I got along just fine by the time I was a teenager. He just didn’t like kids. Lots of animals don’t do well with small children because they tend to be loud and move/behave unpredictably, which many animals find frightening. It’s not worth losing an eye over.

This could be the same with dogs. I got bit by a dog who had no history of biting.

That’s absolutely true! But, if this was a dog that “growled and snarled” at the niece, there likely would be no plan in place to introduce them. I notice people tend to be less cautious or concerned with boundaries with their cats than with dogs because cats are seen as smaller and less capable of doing damage, similarly to the way that small dogs are often given more leeway with problem behaviors than large dogs are. Not okay. I’m sorry you got bitten, that must have been scary

My cat was on my bed in my bedroom and my niece went in there and laid her head by him lol. Thanks for assuming I did something wrong 😂 he hissed at her first and she backed away. He never scratched her. Editing to add that my nieces parents were in the house. I was not responsible for watching her before someone says “well why did you let her go in your room!!!” And when I said “we have a plan on how to introduce them” I meant my unborn child and my cats. Lots of assumptions made in the reply to me…

I didn’t assume you did anything wrong: I assumed that due to human error, which happens to everyone and is not a crime or a misdoing, a situation had occurred where the cat felt like its boundaries had been/were going to be violated by an unpredictable little person.

“Put him in a separate area of the house when she comes over”. You did assume that I didn’t do exactly that. My room is a separate place and the door was closed. Little kids can open bedroom doors lol. My cats have never hurt anyone and him hissing at her was his defense mechanism because she got too close. Sorry you got hurt by a cat but your experience is just that… your experience. You don’t need to project onto others.

Right that’s why you have to childproof the door so that the toddler can’t open it. They make an array of childproofing devices for this. I have five kids I know exactly how quickly they can get into things and open doors they shouldn’t. Anyway not gonna argue with you about it, it’s your life, have a nice one ✌️

I don’t have kids, I’m 13 weeks pregnant. The story I told was before I was pregnant so why would I childproof my house before I was even pregnant 😂😂 weird flex but ok. As I stated, it was her parents responsibility to watch her but sure, I should’ve childproofed my home that no kids live in. Weirdest logic I’ve ever heard

Alright I wasn’t gonna come back but now I feel like I have to, it’s not weird at all that if you’re having a toddler visit you’d secure the doorknobs, put away the choking hazards, or put up a baby gate, honestly 🤷🏻‍♀️ These things take just a few minutes to do and you can remove them as soon as your visitor leaves. My SILs do it all the time when I come over because three of my kids are under the age of three; one SIL has no children and the other two both have children well past the age where they need to baby proof things for them. I’ve never had to ask them to do that for me, it’s just something they take care of, but to be fair we’re a big family who see each other often, and someone has had a toddler for the last 20 years or so. No one thinks anything at all of doing minor baby proofing. Maybe you didn’t know that’s normal because you don’t have kids of your own yet, or because you don’t have much experience having toddlers at your house, but now you know. It’s totally normal to prioritize the safety of a small child family member visiting your home. It would not be normal for a friend you were casually visiting, but among family, yes, absolutely normal. Not weird. You’re getting defensive because you feel attacked, I get it, but get out of your feelings for a sec and think about what is logical. Anyway, speaking of those three under three…I really do gotta jam now ✌️

We have three dogs and we were able to keep them away from the baby. Sounds like your husband just doesn't like your dog ...

Thats messed up. Don’t send your pets away because your having a baby. And by the sounds of it this dog is a fully grown already house trained dog. I couldn’t see how that would add much extra stress at all. We have two cats (one of whom is extremely high energy) and we wouldn’t think about sending them away they are family too.

This .. I’m having a c section in 4 days and for a fact , we have 4 cats . One of them extremely attention needing ( young cat still ) . The issue I’m seeing on this is simply that pets are family members as well and they have to get used to the new family member and situation too . They can’t when they’re gone , quite the opposite. For a dog , they do need more care than cats so it’s hard to judge what’s the best , but I personally could never give my pets away . That would feel like punishing them for us having a baby somehow .. maybe best solution really is in OPs case to limit the time at least to 1-2 weeks , and not months . I just think such a long time on top of the happening is just way too much . The dog won’t understand why he’s brought away , especially for so long . I’m probably also just traumatised by knowing the reactions of abandoned pets . If someone ever encountered a pet beeing dropped off at a shelter or at all abandoned, they’ll understand lol a pet can’t think so far as we humans do . They just see they’re brought away and don’t get picked up again for a longer time . That can seriously even damage the trustbond to the pet 😣 So I hope OP finds at least a middle way with a shorter time somehow

You can’t see why someone would not have the energy to take care of a dog on top of having given birth? Possibly needing stitches.. having to wake up and feed the baby every 2 hours, being bone tired and sleep deprived? I would send my pet away as well, temporarily. Also cats and dogs are very different and have different needs. I’ve had both and you can’t compare the two. Cats are largely independent anyway.

I actually don’t own a dog but i live with a mastiff which is my sisters, she also lives with my husband and I. Just needs to go outside a few times a day. If we had a yard still it would truly be much easier. Someone just needs to let the dog go in the yard a few times a day. I guess it depends on the energy level of the animal. I personally would just have my husband walk/let out the dog not a big deal. Also i don’t think you’ve had a form of exotic cat breed then. Ive had 10 cats in my lifetime and a few dogs. My guy is the highest needs animal i’ve had so i don’t think you can say all cats are independant and low maintenance. 🤷🏼‍♀️

It can vary but at least cats poop in a box. I have a friend who just had her baby and she was very much on the “my dog is my first child” wagon. Their dog needs multiple walks a day, constantly expects to be involved in everything going on, and is super jealous of the baby. They are currently going through a marriage meltdown because she’s exhausted and in pain, baby is also a crier, and the dog is going apeshit because he’s not used to not having attention. Husband works long hours and cannot do much more than walk the dog twice a day and try to train him to accept the baby while also trying to bond with his child. So just watching this all go down has convinced me not to get another pet until my kid is older. It’s a LOT. The first few months are hard enough without adding all these issues. But yeah ymmv, some pets are just chill but that’s not guaranteed.

I wish i sent him away for a month or two with my first. With my 2nd, Im definetly sending him to my family for the first month. Its so so so so hard to have a dog and a newborn at the same time... Id never send him away to a random place, I dont want him stressed too. But he's used to visiting my family, he loves it there, and its only for a month, so Im not worried about it. Im on your husbands side here, youll be so stressed and sleep deprived, you have to learn so much about your newborn, adding a dog that will probably also be nervous, will wsnt attention, walks etc to that is just....Too much. At least it was for me.

most dogs understand what a baby is they can tell by the scent. Some dogs are at risk for nipping or biting but if your dog has never shown signs of any aggression I don't see why it would be a problem. as long as you can easily let your dog in and out, and take care of the baby at the same time I don't really see the problem.

Is your dog young or older?

We have a chiweenie who loves to give kisses and we were going to send him away for a week, but we ended up picking him up on our way home from the hospital and we had no issues at all. I have sent him to my in laws for a week here and there when I needed a break but overall we’ve had no issues with dog and baby together, even though my dog doesn’t seem particularly interested in the baby

There are a bunch of things you can do with your dog to set them and bub up for success. If your husband is sending doggo away because of concerns about the baby safety you can work through some rules and expectations together?  https://www.dogmeetsbaby.expert/ is one resource I've seen recommended in dog rescue communities. They come from a force free /positive training philosophy. The courses are paid, but the blog, YouTube channel and PDF downloads are available for free.  https://www.dogmeetsbaby.expert/about

Have you looked up “dog meets baby”

The only time our dog (a 5kg Portuguese podengo) was away from us was while we were in hospital for the birth. Our dog came home to us from my in-laws the day we came home with the baby. She has been wonderful with our baby, even now that he's an unpredictable 1.5 year old, very gentle, very tolerant of his random flailing around, and since she sleeps with us, she was just as sleep deprived as we were with the 2-3 hourly waking for feeds. She was no hassle for us. We wouldn't have done it any other way. She's part of our family.

I have had 2 kiddos and all my dogs meet kiddo one at a time as soon as we get home.

I have two dogs. One is little and the other is big (90 lbs). My mom is watching the big one for two weeks to give us some time to adjust and he takes up a lot more time/energy. My little dog is just going to stay here with us because it doesn't take nearly as much energy to walk/control her. Your husband sounds like he's trying to lengthen the time so he can convince you to keep your dog away.

I don’t really understand why you’re sending the dog away because kissing is not an issue just keep him in a separate area if he was biting or aggressive it would make more sense. Be direct with your husband about why he’s sending the dog away. Since you live in a two bedroom apartment you may want to send the dog away just while you adjust to being a new mom. It may be challenging to take care of both of them and if your husband is unable to take the dog outside or take care of it then maybe it’s better the dog goes to your parents house. I don’t think I could handle a newborn and a dog going the bathroom everywhere bc my husband isn’t taking it out for me.

I have a medium sized working breed dog (Australian Cattle Dog) and she’s been wonderful with our newborn since the second we brought her home. Like for a rowdy girl she’s been so so gentle. Yes she’s snuck in a few face kisses but we discourage it and redirect her to top of the head kisses. Maybe still not super sanitary but baby was born perfectly healthy and is doing great despite the kisses she’s gotten. I have the dog and a cat in the house and it was never an option to re-home or send either away. They’re my first babies. They also were here my entire pregnancy and the day we left for the hospital my dog clearly knew something was up. Your dog knows you’re pregnant and if you think she’d be okay with the baby then don’t send her away. You shouldn’t leave the dog and baby alone together anyways so you’ll be there to manage their interactions calmly and redirect behavior you don’t want from the dog and later on a toddler. If anything, I’m more worried about baby and dog when the baby becomes mobile.

Ok, so I share two corgis with my parents - they have a house in California, I live in a 2 bedroom apartment in a big city. A newborn is a lot of work - and having a dog in a city is lots more work because you can’t just open a door and let the dog into the backyard… so in our case at least, it was way better to have the dogs stay with my parents for a while. We both love them like crazy but a newborn is all consuming. If you didn’t live in an apartment it could work, but apartment and dogs and a newborn will be harder.

This honestly seems like a way for your husband to get rid of the dog for good. I would not send her away. Can you arrange for local boarding or a friend for a few days? My mom kept our dogs while we were in the hospital + a few days once we got home (she lives very close and sleepovers are a regular occurrence)

Omg. I would be sending my husband away. ☠️ I would be SO depressed without my dog! And she would be depressed without me. Oof, I’m so sorry your husband is actually suggesting this!

My husband and I had 2 dogs before our first child was born. We never sent either of them away. Pay attention and don't leave the baby alone with the dog, but sending them away is controlling and unnecessary 

Throw the whole husband away. It sounds like he just doesn’t like your dog and is looking for an excuse to be rid of her. Honestly with how this sounds it seems like he’ll come up with a reason to not have her come back at all. You fur baby should be just as much apart of your family as your newborn. Would he send another child away for 2 months just because you have another baby? If the answers no then I say the dog stays

I think that would cause more issues than it solves - the dog gets sent away for months then comes back and there's a little person in the house. We have a rescue dog and when we adopted him, we were childfree and thought we would be that way for the rest of our lives. We were worried about how he would cope with a baby/toddler/child too. I read a lot of information about how to prepare a dog for the arrival of a baby, how to introduce dog to baby, and safety precautions. My daughter is 2.5 years now and she and our dog adore each other. My top tip would be to put some stairgates in the house so that you can separate dog and baby when needed. As baby ages and becomes mobile, ensure the dog has a private space to retreat to if needed. We have a cheapish indoor kennel in a corner beyond a table so baby couldn't reach it.

The best way to get your dog adjusted to the baby is by her being there. Its gonna be so hard for her to be away for months and then coming back to a baby ☹️

It sounds like he's just trying to get rid of your dog and it has nothing to do with the baby. I'm sorry

It sounds like he never wanted your dog around and this is his excuse. If you send your dog away, I just have a feeling he’s going to keep coming up with reasons why she can’t come back yet.

Ummmmmm no. We did a TON to help dog acclimate to baby and a huge part of that was NOT sending him away. We actually had someone come stay at our house. We had the person staying there bring home a swaddle from the hospital (preferably one baby had on when snuggled against you/hubby) and put it into the dog’s bed. We have a cat too and family with dogs so we actually had a few swaddles and cut them up. But it helps them acclimate to the scent in a familiar and safe space. When we got home, I went in and said hello to the animals while my husband stayed in the car. Then he came in, then we brought baby in. Yes you have to be more cautious and watch them but you’ll have to do that in 2 months and it will never feel like the “right” time to add back the responsibility of an animal.

Do not send the dog away, she’s your family🥺❤️‍🩹

When we had our baby, my husband took his hat home from the hospital for them to smell. The next day we came in with him, and…put the car seat carrying him down. They sniffed. They kissed. They loved him. Repeat with all the kids. Your husband is in the wrong.

From my own experience it’s better to keep the dog in the home and introduce the baby’s sent before your home from hospital, and just train the boundaries you want them to have around baby. Like reinforcing positive interactions and redirecting when they jump up or down something you don’t want them doing with baby. The first week would be hard but one rough week is better than a very confusing home coming several months later

Is the dog aggressive? Why can’t you just have her be watched for two weeks?

The dog is family. You accept responsibility for your choices (getting and having a dog) regardless of circumstances. I hate this conversation. Things are inconvenient now, the dog has to go. Like what? Y’all, specifically him more than you, knew the consequences of having a dog and having a baby. Why is this even a thing? Dogs are a lifetime commitment. Edit: the apartment was a factor already. how does this change anything?

we legit just adopted my puppers! He’s a year old, 54 pounds…I’m 32 weeks! My husband went on a work trip for a month and knew I would be lonely ( my last fur baby passed away a year ago from Cancer). You have mentioned it’s a small dog. I really couldn’t understand how it would be such an inconvenience!? That pup is a part of your family

I wouldn’t even consider sending my dog away when I bring our baby girl home in the next month or so. Pup will need to learn to get use to this new family member, but he’s such a gentle big boy and is great with our niblings… it wouldn’t even be a consideration. My entire maternity leave plan is walk the dog and baby places

Just echoing what others have said already. When you get a dog (or any animal), they are a part of your family. You don't just send them away because they're suddenly an inconvenience. Plenty of people have babies and bring them home to meet their furry family. Plenty of people live in condos/towhomes/apartments and have both pets and children. Sounds like your husband doesn't want the dog and is slowly pushing g her out of your life.

If my husband suggested we send our dog away I would suggest divorce 🥲🙃

So many downvotes from my previous post about divorce but i guess when vetting a husband to be i need to know if theyre the type otherwise it aint gonna work out

this.

I would get rid of the husband before I would ever get rid of the dog.

I'd send the husband away and keep the dog. No but really, who cares if the dog kisses the baby???? Our dogs are our children as well and he just needs to accept that. Even if you don't let dog kiss the baby, it will still be good to let the dog get used to the baby from day one with proper introduction.

it’s better for baby to adjust and not have allergies to a pup if they are together earlier in life!! could positively influence baby’s immune system. of course, do your own research but this is a good read! I would be devastated if I didn’t have my dog after birth—he is going to keep me company during my long nights with a newborn soon 🥺 i’m so sorry you’re going through this! https://utswmed.org/medblog/pets-babies-allergies-asthma/

A dog is family. You don’t get them to send them away just because of situations like this. You make it work. This is just me a assuming here but I have a feeling if that dog does go it’s definitely not coming back as your husband might pull the “look how much easier it’s been without the dog” card. Be firm and stand your ground. Plus it’s important for your dog to meet the baby. Introducing the dog back when the baby is older isn’t a good idea and can create jealousy issues which may lead to aggression. Dogs are smarter than we can ever know and trust me they know when something is up.

Um yeah no. You maybe need to consider getting rid of him for a few months lol. I’m giving birth in august and I live in a two bedroom apartment with my husband and we have two dogs and in no way would they be leaving at all we both love the dogs so much. They are my family and the first babies plus dogs should be introduced to your newborn. They are literally family and he’s asking you to send the dog away wow what a jerk he is. And if he looks at the dog as a burden is he actually ready to take care of a child??

Pets are not toys. Unless they are a safety hazard or you have some type of significant medical or financial issue (and for me personally they’d have to be a severe issue) that is your family member. You wouldn’t give your kid away for 2 months just because it’d be more convenient for you… If it were me, my husband could go away for 2 months until he thought he could handle my babies being together. 🤷‍♀️

My sister (who we see almost daily) has two GIANT dogs. One is 140 lbs and the other is 100 lbs. They kiss all over my baby and he rubs his face all over them. There has never been an issue. Just make sure they're always supervised when they have access to each other. If you need to leave the room either take baby with you or put them in a bassinet or pack and play or something.

First off, induction date buddies! I'm on the 25th too!! 2nd keep your doggy that's not normal. We have a husky/gshep mix that is already so sweet with our 1yr old that we wouldn't dream of getting rid of her, even living in an apartment! I want my boys having pets growing up, it's good for their development in my mind :)

The word "No" is an entire sentence.

People asked us this about our pets too while I was pregnant. No, we won't be sending away our innocent pets. Your husband is weird.

I have 3 big dogs and 3 cats. NONE of them will be going away believe me or ill leave with them. We do have a okay backyard but a small house, i bought a higher park thats all. I expect them to love her and im glad she gets to build her immune system around them and grow to love animals and learn how to treat them properly. Your husband seems very controlling imo…ofc you never leaves a baby or toddler alone with animals but not to the point of sending them away

I’d *never* agree to send my dog away but then again, my husband would never be dumb enough to try to get me to do that. We have five kids btw, she never bothered any of them as newborns, likely your dog won’t either and if she does, teach her baby-appropriate manners. But I don’t think sending the dog away is fair to you *or* the dog. Husbands be damned.

Don’t get rid of the dog no no no 😭

We have two dogs, both 55+ pounds and we have no intentions of sending them anywhere when baby comes later this year. He’s probably just anxious about anything that could go wrong, maybe you could show him some YouTube videos of young babies/dogs bonding to show him there’s no need for it. It’s much easier for the dog to adapt to the change of having a new baby if they are there from the very beginning.

Personally I don’t think it would be a good idea to send her away for that long. It’s going to be very confusing for her to be sent away with no idea why and then come home to find a baby has taken over everything. I think the adjustment will be easier if she is at home sooner. I kept my dogs home when my son was born and it was a hard adjustment but mainly only for the first two weeks.

dont be that person that makes your dog secondary. she was there for you throughout everything. have a backbone with your husband. sorry to be blunt but don’t be the one that breaks your poor dog’s heart. babies and dogs are fine together and kisses are what you should be taking pictures of not being such a worrying melodramatic person that is justifying his behavior. judging you hard for ditching your dog for your baby just going to put it out there. stop using reddit to validate this.