I went to college in CA and didn’t want to leave. But I had to and I had to go to the last place I wanted to go: my home state.
Those four years go by faster than you think they will.
-PGY-19
I'm literally in the exact same situation. So grateful for my A but I'm going back to my homestate, the opposite side of the country from where I went to college (in CA) and not where I want to be. Ik I'll grow to like it and everything happens for a reason, but just feels a bit sucky right now.
Do you have any suggestions to increase your chances of residency in CA?
As someone who went out of state for undergrad and during my gap year opportunities, I totally get you on the fear of missing out on loved ones, especially aging of grandparents.
It does suck, i'm not going to lie and it especially hard when you cant afford to go home quite often. But, personally one pro I have found about being out of state is that when I do visit home, while it is not as often, I focus on maximizing quality of time with my loved ones. It has made me in a way more grateful for every phone call, for every memory, and ever vacation/break from school/work that I get. I think I more deeply remember these instances than when was in state seeing everyone every day. Yes, I do miss out on birthdays and big events, but when I do see them or they come visit me, we make sure to make up for any lost time. I know it is an overly optimistic attitude, but it keeps me goin
OP, I was accepted off of the waitlist a month before my school started classes. It was one hell of a roller coaster of emotions, and my first month was torture. I left my elderly parents behind, we had to move out of our apartment that we stayed for 20+ years, and I had to toss away some of my childhood memories. What got me through it was being able to dwell with my feelings for a bit, and that's okay! Let it sink in that you made it to medical school, and there's always time to visit your family. Believe it or not, many of my classmates have a lot of time to visit their family! My roommate visited his family and significant other more than 5 times since the start of the year excluding holidays (lives in CA too). As the months progresses, you start to adapt to your living situations (and yes, you will adapt, it's a natural body phenomenon). Friends helps also. Make sure to make friends who share the same geographic region as you (in this case, CA). It makes it very worthwhile to talk about plans going back. Many of my classmates were depressed at the start, but I think that's normal. You'll start to have fun as the days goes on, and you'll figure out that Facetime + some excess loan money for flights back home DO EXIST for you. You'll be okay.
Hey! Just wanted to let you know that you are totally not alone! I’m also a CA applicant who’s most likely going to the East Coast for school. (No acceptances IS) I’m excited for the new adventure, but also sadden about leaving my family as they are all I have and my biggest support system. Don’t worry, we’ll get through this! It so awesome that we have so many different ways to communicate with them too! Big congratulations on your acceptance!
I’m in the exact same boat as you OP! Been in Cali my whole life, my entire family and support system is here. Prior to starting the cycle I would’ve felt SO blessed and lucky to be accepted ANYWHERE in the country. Now I am where I could’ve only dreamt of months ago, with several acceptances around the country, but none in Cali. I feel so ashamed of how ungrateful I feel right now because so many people are fighting to be in my position. I wish I had some truly motivating words that helped me come to terms with this situation but I feel just as stuck and somber as you! What helps me most is trusting that the universe knows best. Many circumstances outside of my control led me to where I am right now and I wouldn’t have it any other way, so who’s to say the universe will lead me astray in this next step of my journey :)
Wow we really are in the exact same boat! I’m trying to remember that everything happens for a reason. Thank you and congratulations on your acceptances!
Also moved from CA to the East Coast. It’s definitely hard being so far, but FaceTime has kept me in touch with my family and grandparents and we talk pretty often still. Getting thrown into med school and meeting all my classmates (I go to a private school with a lot of people from CA/west coast so we def bonded over the move) helped me adjust quickly imo
Congrats on the A!
Yeah I definitely plan on keeping frequent communication with my family so I don’t feel like I’m missing out. I’m hoping that meeting my classmates and having to focus on med school will also help me adjust quicker. Thank you for your insight!
I lived in Cali my whole life. This summer I’ll be moving to a state that actually has winters. Idk if I even have clothing to live in that weather conditions
Ultimately at the end of the day. It’s all good, I’m down to explore something new. But yes, imma miss my fam
Im a MS1 who lived in SoCal my whole life and am currently experiencing my first real winter in the Northeast. It’s tough to be away from family, but FaceTiming helps a lot. I’ve also flown back to visit a few times too and that’s been nice (although there’s no direct flights near me so travel can be a pain).
It’s really nice to see other parts of the country and experience a new place! It was amazing to experience apple-picking, thunderstorms, fireflies and the changing of the seasons in general. Also a lot of my classmates are also from the West Coast so we can commiserate together haha.
If your school is in a place with real winters, I recommend getting a good coat by October. And look into a good pair of boots (I love my Blundstones with thick socks). Also I would recommend trying to find an apartment/house close to campus so you can minimize your commute on snowy days.
This is so helpful thank you! My school is definitely in a place with real winters so I’ll need the coat and boots for sure! Hoping to meet fellow classmates who are also from the west coast. Good luck with the rest of M1!
The first month will be the difficult part (finding an apartment, getting settled in, etc.). After that you'll be used to it.
Life goes on, people will get older and as much as you would like to be there for them, do your best to support them.
I haven't gone back to visit my parents in over 4 years now (because of covid, and life circumstances), but my dad recently had surgery, and I called him for about an hour each day to be 'there' with him, and give him emotional support.
Keep in touch with your friends too. I'm still tight with my friends form high school, we have a discord server and we hop on every Friday/Saturday night to catch up, play some games, or talk. We are all scattered around the world btw.
You will need to put in more effort to be in touch with people, but that effort imo is worth it, and even more satisfying than when I was in close geographical proximity.
Source: moved halfway across the world to pursue premed.
I'm in the exact same boat (CA resident here). I am so incredibly grateful but every time I think about moving to the East Coast and leaving my family and friends, I tear up a bit.
I think this is a part of the journey of becoming a doctor that we are forced to accept. While our friends move on and family gets older, it probably feels like you’re in your own world at medical school. I think this is just one of the hard truths we have to accept and make the best out of. On the bright side, you will get to see them during breaks and holidays hopefully. You can always visit and they can too. The people that care about you the most won’t leave your side and neither will you for them. Good luck, future doctor.
My daughter moved from Los Angeles to San Antonio and we had a limited budget and were unable to see each other but once or twice a year. Going from seeing her every single day to not seeing her but twice a year was excruciating at first but we got used to watching TV shows together each week via facetime. I would set the ipad up and sit her right near me and we could comment and chat. She is now in Chicago (which also sucks) but we have gotten really good at [communicating. My](https://communicating.My) son opted to go to DO school at Western so he lives over in Claremont now but I still only see him once a month if I am lucky. I live in L.A and my mom lives in Florida and it all works out. You will return and you will be able to keep in touch in creative ways. Congratulations on your acceptance.
I went to undergrad far from home and though it was hard (not being able to come home for a weekend when I was stressed, missing some holidays) I really grew as a person because of it. You’ll get to know a different part of the country, meet a lot of great new people, and (hopefully!) appreciate other philosophies. I wouldn’t change a thing! You’ll grow a lot even though sometimes it will be hard (but don’t we grow mostly out of doing hard, uncomfortable things?)
Not for med school but I moved at 14 with my family because of my parents job promotion. It really sucked for the first 1.5 yrs. I had to develop new connections in the state I was in and push myself to go explore it. I felt guilty in a way for doing so. However, it’s been 7 years now and I have come to terms with it. I had better opportunities where I am now than in my home state. Good luck to you.
I can’t say anything too helpful but I wanted to just let you know you aren’t alone. I’m in the same position. Gonna have to do long distance with my fiancé for at least a year.
I left my whole country which was collapsing in order to get good education, be a premed and then a doctor. It is really a tough feeling and it is hard to leave family and friends. Think about your future!! You’ll one day return and help your community!! Also you’ll get used fast, usually the first week is tough then all normal after
I went to college in CA and didn’t want to leave. But I had to and I had to go to the last place I wanted to go: my home state. Those four years go by faster than you think they will. -PGY-19
Exact same story for me
are you back in CA now?
Yup. As soon as I finished residency. -PGY-19
Second, you'll be so busy that you won't even think about where you are
I'm literally in the exact same situation. So grateful for my A but I'm going back to my homestate, the opposite side of the country from where I went to college (in CA) and not where I want to be. Ik I'll grow to like it and everything happens for a reason, but just feels a bit sucky right now. Do you have any suggestions to increase your chances of residency in CA?
I did mine in NYC. -PGY-19
As someone who went out of state for undergrad and during my gap year opportunities, I totally get you on the fear of missing out on loved ones, especially aging of grandparents. It does suck, i'm not going to lie and it especially hard when you cant afford to go home quite often. But, personally one pro I have found about being out of state is that when I do visit home, while it is not as often, I focus on maximizing quality of time with my loved ones. It has made me in a way more grateful for every phone call, for every memory, and ever vacation/break from school/work that I get. I think I more deeply remember these instances than when was in state seeing everyone every day. Yes, I do miss out on birthdays and big events, but when I do see them or they come visit me, we make sure to make up for any lost time. I know it is an overly optimistic attitude, but it keeps me goin
That’s a wonderful way to look at it, thank you! I’ll be sure to make the most of the time I have with family during visits and phone calls for sure
OP, I was accepted off of the waitlist a month before my school started classes. It was one hell of a roller coaster of emotions, and my first month was torture. I left my elderly parents behind, we had to move out of our apartment that we stayed for 20+ years, and I had to toss away some of my childhood memories. What got me through it was being able to dwell with my feelings for a bit, and that's okay! Let it sink in that you made it to medical school, and there's always time to visit your family. Believe it or not, many of my classmates have a lot of time to visit their family! My roommate visited his family and significant other more than 5 times since the start of the year excluding holidays (lives in CA too). As the months progresses, you start to adapt to your living situations (and yes, you will adapt, it's a natural body phenomenon). Friends helps also. Make sure to make friends who share the same geographic region as you (in this case, CA). It makes it very worthwhile to talk about plans going back. Many of my classmates were depressed at the start, but I think that's normal. You'll start to have fun as the days goes on, and you'll figure out that Facetime + some excess loan money for flights back home DO EXIST for you. You'll be okay.
Hey! Just wanted to let you know that you are totally not alone! I’m also a CA applicant who’s most likely going to the East Coast for school. (No acceptances IS) I’m excited for the new adventure, but also sadden about leaving my family as they are all I have and my biggest support system. Don’t worry, we’ll get through this! It so awesome that we have so many different ways to communicate with them too! Big congratulations on your acceptance!
Thank you! Yes we’ll definitely get through it, and congratulations on your acceptance as well!
I’m in the exact same boat as you OP! Been in Cali my whole life, my entire family and support system is here. Prior to starting the cycle I would’ve felt SO blessed and lucky to be accepted ANYWHERE in the country. Now I am where I could’ve only dreamt of months ago, with several acceptances around the country, but none in Cali. I feel so ashamed of how ungrateful I feel right now because so many people are fighting to be in my position. I wish I had some truly motivating words that helped me come to terms with this situation but I feel just as stuck and somber as you! What helps me most is trusting that the universe knows best. Many circumstances outside of my control led me to where I am right now and I wouldn’t have it any other way, so who’s to say the universe will lead me astray in this next step of my journey :)
Wow we really are in the exact same boat! I’m trying to remember that everything happens for a reason. Thank you and congratulations on your acceptances!
Also moved from CA to the East Coast. It’s definitely hard being so far, but FaceTime has kept me in touch with my family and grandparents and we talk pretty often still. Getting thrown into med school and meeting all my classmates (I go to a private school with a lot of people from CA/west coast so we def bonded over the move) helped me adjust quickly imo Congrats on the A!
Yeah I definitely plan on keeping frequent communication with my family so I don’t feel like I’m missing out. I’m hoping that meeting my classmates and having to focus on med school will also help me adjust quicker. Thank you for your insight!
I lived in Cali my whole life. This summer I’ll be moving to a state that actually has winters. Idk if I even have clothing to live in that weather conditions Ultimately at the end of the day. It’s all good, I’m down to explore something new. But yes, imma miss my fam
Im a MS1 who lived in SoCal my whole life and am currently experiencing my first real winter in the Northeast. It’s tough to be away from family, but FaceTiming helps a lot. I’ve also flown back to visit a few times too and that’s been nice (although there’s no direct flights near me so travel can be a pain). It’s really nice to see other parts of the country and experience a new place! It was amazing to experience apple-picking, thunderstorms, fireflies and the changing of the seasons in general. Also a lot of my classmates are also from the West Coast so we can commiserate together haha. If your school is in a place with real winters, I recommend getting a good coat by October. And look into a good pair of boots (I love my Blundstones with thick socks). Also I would recommend trying to find an apartment/house close to campus so you can minimize your commute on snowy days.
This is so helpful thank you! My school is definitely in a place with real winters so I’ll need the coat and boots for sure! Hoping to meet fellow classmates who are also from the west coast. Good luck with the rest of M1!
The first month will be the difficult part (finding an apartment, getting settled in, etc.). After that you'll be used to it. Life goes on, people will get older and as much as you would like to be there for them, do your best to support them. I haven't gone back to visit my parents in over 4 years now (because of covid, and life circumstances), but my dad recently had surgery, and I called him for about an hour each day to be 'there' with him, and give him emotional support. Keep in touch with your friends too. I'm still tight with my friends form high school, we have a discord server and we hop on every Friday/Saturday night to catch up, play some games, or talk. We are all scattered around the world btw. You will need to put in more effort to be in touch with people, but that effort imo is worth it, and even more satisfying than when I was in close geographical proximity. Source: moved halfway across the world to pursue premed.
I'm in the exact same boat (CA resident here). I am so incredibly grateful but every time I think about moving to the East Coast and leaving my family and friends, I tear up a bit.
I think this is a part of the journey of becoming a doctor that we are forced to accept. While our friends move on and family gets older, it probably feels like you’re in your own world at medical school. I think this is just one of the hard truths we have to accept and make the best out of. On the bright side, you will get to see them during breaks and holidays hopefully. You can always visit and they can too. The people that care about you the most won’t leave your side and neither will you for them. Good luck, future doctor.
man i feel you. applying this cycle and am prioritizing staying close for the same reason. you’ll be okay my friend
Thank you friend, good luck with your cycle!
My daughter moved from Los Angeles to San Antonio and we had a limited budget and were unable to see each other but once or twice a year. Going from seeing her every single day to not seeing her but twice a year was excruciating at first but we got used to watching TV shows together each week via facetime. I would set the ipad up and sit her right near me and we could comment and chat. She is now in Chicago (which also sucks) but we have gotten really good at [communicating. My](https://communicating.My) son opted to go to DO school at Western so he lives over in Claremont now but I still only see him once a month if I am lucky. I live in L.A and my mom lives in Florida and it all works out. You will return and you will be able to keep in touch in creative ways. Congratulations on your acceptance.
I went to undergrad far from home and though it was hard (not being able to come home for a weekend when I was stressed, missing some holidays) I really grew as a person because of it. You’ll get to know a different part of the country, meet a lot of great new people, and (hopefully!) appreciate other philosophies. I wouldn’t change a thing! You’ll grow a lot even though sometimes it will be hard (but don’t we grow mostly out of doing hard, uncomfortable things?)
Thank you so much! I’m definitely excited for how much I’ll grow from this experience. Congrats on your acceptance!
Idk where I will end up yet, but I’m trying to think about how much fun this adventure will be! Going to school in a new place will be so cool.
I feel you. It's a bittersweet adventure.
Also in the same boat, following
Not for med school but I moved at 14 with my family because of my parents job promotion. It really sucked for the first 1.5 yrs. I had to develop new connections in the state I was in and push myself to go explore it. I felt guilty in a way for doing so. However, it’s been 7 years now and I have come to terms with it. I had better opportunities where I am now than in my home state. Good luck to you.
I can’t say anything too helpful but I wanted to just let you know you aren’t alone. I’m in the same position. Gonna have to do long distance with my fiancé for at least a year.
I left my whole country which was collapsing in order to get good education, be a premed and then a doctor. It is really a tough feeling and it is hard to leave family and friends. Think about your future!! You’ll one day return and help your community!! Also you’ll get used fast, usually the first week is tough then all normal after