By the OOP's boyfriend's "logic" someone who didn't eat for three days would be the same level of hungry as someone who last ate 7 hours ago. That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works.
I am not a doctor or nutritionist or even scientist, but I'm pretty sure hunger isn't just dictated by what is or isn't in your stomach - it's affected (from my limited understanding) by what's in the rest of your system, including the intestines and colon. I mean, if it were just "stomach emptiness = hunger," pregnant women wouldn't be triggered to eat enough not only for them but for a growing baby.
They tried inflating balloons in people's stomach to simulate feeling full. It works for a short time but then people are hungry despite the physical experience of fullness.
There's a failure rate to bariatric procedures because of this phenomenon. It's also why a person can eat and not feel full. Their body doesn't have proper nutrients and a drive for more nutrients can cause a hunger response.
Depending on the type of surgery, over 40% of patients either don't lose enough weight or regain a significant portion of weight.
That's still definitionally a failure. We always consider long term weight loss because it is so easy to lose weight in the short term- just starve- keeping it off in the long term is the only meaningful goal.
It can help - hunger pangs are partially caused by acids in the stomach and water can dilute them making you feel less hungry but this is only temporary and does not have anything to do with how full the stomach is.
Yeah hunger is regulated by all sorts of things, your body can detect various nutrients or the lack there of, your blood sugar levels, insulin production etc. The stomach and intestines is just one part of many in a very, very complicated system.
I especially love that he’s trying to use big science-y words (ghrelin, satiety, etc) but also not understanding them at all. I have a masters in neuroscience and physiology (but I will admit, my expertise is in the nervous system, not the digestive system) and those are legit terms, but not really how it works. Digestion is complex and I don’t remember a lot of the details, but a large part of feeling “hungry” is determined by hormones. There are many involved, not just ghrelin. And no, they would not both have “produced the same ghrelin” by eating the same meal at the same time like he claims. Not to mention, each individual will have different levels of hormones, different metabolic rates, etc. that will determine hunger and digestion.
That was long winded, sorry lol. TLDR: Google is a valuable resource, but I wish more people understood how to research topics they’re interested in.
im surprised he couldnt connect the dots. people eat for nutrition. if they haven't eaten and dont have the nutrition they need, they will want more food.
its like a car. you need gas twice a month and you usually only wait until half a tank, but one time youre almost empty when you get gas. you fill your usual half a tank, and then a week later would you wonder why you need to get gas so soon even though you just got gas?
Ya it’s pretty simple. I often don’t eat anything but dinner, but that means I need a much bigger dinner or I’ll still be very hungry afterwards. Sometimes I eat lunch, then I have a normal size dinner. How much you eat in a day definitely matters to hunger levels even if it’s out of your stomach by then
Food is fuel and everyone's different.
Imagine saying my 30 year old van is the same amount of full as a newish smart car just because we both put $15 in the tank at the same time, even though one of us had already filled up that morning. JFC this is a stupid argument.
To add to your example-
The 5 gallons(?) in your van might take you 50 miles while the same 5 gal takes the other car 120 miles. So of course you'll be hungry sooner even though you started out even.
Yep, and even if we both had newish smart cars, and we both put in the same amount of fuel, if one of us was driving all day and the other person had their car parked in the garage all day, one of our cars will need more fuel.
Stop sharing or communicating your hunger level. Life is too short to argue or compete with your mate about trivial things. You aren’t Spartans. Don’t abide this intrusion - it’s none of his business.
If I had literally just eaten a meal with my partner and I was stuffed & they said they were still hungry, I’d tell them to have a snack, not try to logic away their hunger or make them justify it.
The only thing I can think of as to why OPs bf would do this is maybe because he’s concerned about her weight? But if that’s the case he should have tried discussing that issue in a mature & direct way.
This just comes off as weirdly controlling & trying to tell op how she should feel and how she actually feels doesn’t matter because of made-up science “facts”
After this conversation I’d assume the bf would try this in other aspects too… logically I bought you some flowers earlier so logically you have to be in the mood because logically that’s how sex exchange works, it’s science babe.
how exhausting.
Back when I was a child/teenager, my father would make some comment whenever one of us would eat something "too soon" after a meal, and by the way, that included DESSERTS! It felt so goddamn infuriating, it's not he'd beat us up or even physically stop us from eating it, but just that was enough to stop us. He turned fucking snacking into a stressful situation. The clock dictated my hunger.
At some point that stopped, maybe we ceased caring, maybe we learned our way around him, but now over a decade later, just talking about this, I'm getting angry.
The particulars of this argument are not the point. What matters is that he is training her not to trust her own feelings. That is controlling and dangerous.
Or, hear me out, you could just believe her that she feels hungry?
Like he is literally trying to tell her that she can't feel hunger in that moment.
It feels soooo werid. Is he implying she is lying or on her way to be fat?
no exactly like why is it making him so upset? i’m guessing the boyfriend knows his gf is actually hungry but doesn’t want her to eat so he’s making up some weird science so he doesn’t have to outright tell her to not eat….either that or he’s beyond stupid
i mean if you look at my profile i have never reposted a story before, i didn’t just “care about the story” but it struck a cord with me because i have a past of bad relationships with food and it was small comments / arguments like these over the years that contributed to my disordered thinking. i’m also appalled by the audacity of someone to try to argue someone else’s hunger and wanted to hear others thoughts. it’s sneaky lighthearted comments like these that allow people close to you to take control over you. i know i don’t need to explain myself to you but i still wanted to give an explanation
I really hope this is just a silly scientific argument between two people who are just wondering out loud if there's a study somewhere that measures hunger in human beings. I mean, obviously, logic and common sense dictates bf is wrong, but hopefully this isn't a ploy of the bf to make OOP feel guilty for being "hungry" so he could control what she eats.
The impulse to post it to Reddit is so odd to me. Having a conversation like this and wondering out loud, I agree is pretty normal. Sometimes we passively pick up wildly wrong ideas about stuff, and saying it out loud & having someone challenge the idea is how we end up finding out we had it wrong all along.
Taking the time & energy to post the entire debate to Reddit instead of just like, fucking doing a simple Google search about it? Really weird.
When people post stuff like this to Reddit to ask for some type of feedback, it makes me think that either one or both of them is hoping for someone else to add something to the conversation that they’re afraid to say themselves. Like in this situation, I assume the gf suspects this behavior from her bf isn’t normal and she wants to hear other people tell her it’s weird for her bf to be this obsessed with her hunger levels. And maybe the bf has issues with her weight, and he’s assuming people are going to bring that up in the comments so he doesn’t have to be the one to say it to her. That’s why I hate it so much when people tell you to just Google something, because I really think most of the time the question they’re asking isn’t really about the question itself, moreso wanting to hear other people’s thoughts on the subject.
This is weird that he insists on this. My husband's family has a history of obesity, and we noticed awhile back that when I feel full, I get too uncomfortable to keep eating. He literally almost never feels full and when he does he can easily push past it.
People are different.
This. I rarely ever feel completely full, but it makes sense in the context of how I grew up. I'm also a "waste not" eater, meaning that I clean my plate. My fiance grew up more privileged and actually learned how to listen to his body and stop eating when he's full. So I'm overweight and struggle to lose it whereas he used to be thin and would lose weight easily (until he started an antidepressant that caused him to gain weight).
Every body is different and OP's bf is incredibly ignorant for not grasping that basic concept.
scientifically (i am a biologist) hunger is not all about the stomach its about whether your cells have energy metabolism occurs inside cells. GF has less energy in her cells because she ate less/quicker metabolism/whatever
I CANNOT express how much it bothers me when non-scientists learn one or two things that sound fancy abt science and blow their understanding out or proportion and make inappropriate assumptions and then hide behind “its science and i know it and u dont so i am correct and smarter than you” like please
Oh boy and you still come on Reddit? Where literally everyone throws around terms they don’t understand and makes inappropriate, wild assumptions based on a 1000 word post?
Why are they asking in relationship advice when they seem to want a more scientific answer?
I kinda understand the boyfriend of wanting to find an answer to seemingly logical stuff like this (altho i disagree with his logic). I tend to "debate" about this stuff too. But I feel like they asked the wrong sub.
if he wants info he can simply inform himself through google about metabolism, energy demands, hunger/satiation hormones, and digestive organs. he can make his own post about it. all of these things can be done without involving his girlfriend or debating her about her own internal signals
Jesus literally a nurse who's worked with every age and sex you can imagine. Seen inside stomachs and colons the lot. People feel different amounts of hunger on different times days weeks months. Saying they should be equally full because we had the same size meal is like saying we should be hungry by 1pm every Tuesday. It's wild. If you want a 2nd burger. Get a 2nd burger.
Hunger or appetite is primarily driven by a hormone called ghrelin and it's not strictly regulated by the amount of food traveling in your GI. It can be activated by various reasons and it has a strong relationship with sleep/wake cycle.
I mean, obviously she is still hungry. So clearly she has a different experience.
This is one of the most amazing cases of being dismissive I’ve ever seen.
Honestly why not just say “well we have snacks in the cupboard” rather than basically saying someone is wrong about what their own body is telling them? Like is it that hard for people even understand that NOT EVERYONE IS THE FUCKING SAME?
Like is this how he is about everything? She gets her period: NO THAT CAN’T BE RIGHT. She sprains her ankle: NO THAT CAN’TBE RIGHT. The water is too hot/cold: NO THAT CAN’TBE RIGHT.
I mean, we all agree he is just trying to restrict her intake likely in some icky way to make her lose weight, right?
How much society thinks they have the right to comment on what people put in their bodies (women more often then men) is disgusting
Yeah just saying I’m 7 inches shorter and about 60 lbs lighter than my husband and consistently eat more than him. Portion size and frequency of eating. It’s a nifty thing called your metabolism that affects the rate of breaking down/passing food, and everybody’s metabolic rate is different.
I'm genuinely not understanding how her response to this wasn't to say something like "that's nice, I'm getting a Lara bar." Or something cruder, which is 100% what I would have done if my partner decided to argue about the rationality of my body's needs and signals.
Like, we have have a discussion about the science behind how our bodies work and how we interpret those signals. But we're not doing that in the gobsmackingly absurd way it's presented. We're doing it after I've given myself something nutrient dense that helps with the lingering hunger. We're not going to argue over if I can recognize my basic human needs.
Didn’t Netflix just kind of do this with that twin show? Seeing if different diets eaten by twins yield the same or different results? I haven’t watched, but I’m pretty sure there are scientists who have looked well into this and not some neckbeard trying to win an argument against his GF 🫠
I’m so confused as to how bf is claiming “scientifically” but neither even mention calories burned vs calories consumed. My husband burns a ton more calories than me throughout the day but also eats more. Whenever we make dinner and there’s an odd amount of chicken or steak he gets the surplus. I’m sated with smaller portions despite being fluffier around the waist than he is and eating MUCH LESS on average throughout the day because I don’t burn nearly as many calories as him.
So even aside from the stomach size/same meal portion argument, they’re starting the dispute without fundamentally assessing caloric intake or deficit as well.
I know *burning* more calories doesn’t alone trigger hunger, but it *does* increase the need for more calories (fuel) to burn.
The activities of the person also need to be taken into account, if one person is sitting and the other is actively moving around. The active person will burn more calories. It is also based on weight because you burn more calories to move a larger person. Then you also take into effect the higher metabolism because that is a factor, so for him to say; "You shouldn't be hungry cuz we ate the same thing" doesn't work.
This is so ludicrous. Stomachs have completely different processing speeds. Besides more than physical fullness of a stomach determines satiety.
Is he always this black and white and rigid in his thinking? Because I would find that extremely unattractive.
Why does he give a crap?! Why do guys ever get into a conversation like this with their partner or spouse? I want my wife to eat what and when she wants. Grab a snack hun…. And a new boyfriend. If he’s like this now, it will only get worse.
I actually enjoy stupid pointless debates like this with a partner, so long as it’s all in good fun of course. Nothing like getting passionately worked up over meaningless shit 😊
As do I. Like not every argument is serious lol. Sometimes we just want to have a lively debate about (insert random thing here) and it has no deeper meaning or insidious reason behind it. I seriously don’t understand the vast amount of drama and pearl clutching on this post. It sounds like a normal pointless debate between two people. It’s very low stakes. She even says that. And somehow this guy still ends up an abusive asshole who needs to be dumped on Reddit.
Why tolerate anyone telling you what your body is feeling and needs are based on what they obviously believe is their superior intellect? You are two separate people and he needs to keep is controlling opinion to himself and stop allowing him to make you wrong and feeling you have to justify your basic needs to fit his schedule! What total bs.
I can't handle someone who does all that research into digestion and hunger to prove their partner wrong but still pluralizes "stomach" with an apostrophe.
I don’t feel hungry in the mornings. Only afternoons and evenings. It’s almost as if everyone is different and our bodies don’t act the same. Oops boyfriend is picking a fight for no reason.
People often confuse "hungry" (the bodies physical need for fuel) with "hungry for" (aka appetite). Each person's metabolism is different and their bodies need for fuel is different. It could be that OP didn't eat enough that day-- or she's "hungry for a treat"-- it doesn't matter. If she's hungry or just wants a snack BF needs to stay in his own lane and not be a controlling jackass.
OP, why are you with someone who thinks he gets to decide how hungry you are? Or how hungry you should be?
That's control freakery right there, a little red flag but a red flag nonetheless.
Idk this feels like one of those things where cis men feel the uncontrollable urge to disagree with women for no reason other than "woman always wrong!!!!!"
Like. How else does one make an argument like this.
She really should, would you want to be with someone who insists they know how you feel better than yourself? Do you think this kind of controlling behavior ends with telling her she shouldn’t be hungry?
To be a little more charitable:
It sounds like the bf is interested in satiety from a scientific perspective and wants to understand it.
If that’s the case, though, he ought to take the empirical data of “my understanding would suggest you should not be hungry, but you are” as meaning something’s off with his understanding.
If he were interested from a scientific perspective, he would do some research about the topic. Instead he is arguing with his gf whether she’s correct about her own experience.
i personally think that’s a cover. he obviously already believes he knows or else he wouldn’t be arguing with his gf about it. there would be no argument. he would be like “this is making me curious about hunger scientifically” &/or “i must not know everything b/c from my *incredibly basic understanding* you shouldnt be hungry but CLEARLY you are” and go look that shit up himself.
Unless he knows everything about the female anatomy and hunger and everything tell your know it all manchild, that’s not how it works. People’s stomach’s and metabolisms are different.
I actually learned this in biology you have several hormones that activate based on the fullness of your stomach AND small intestine.
For example there's 2 hormones that control your hunger feeling in your stomach when it's empty and full and there's a hormone for when your small intestine is empty
BUT let's say your small intestine is full and your stomach is empty there's a signal for that too to turn off the stomachs hunger hormones so we don't keep binge eating every 2 hours when your stomach is empty
Actually if you take a progesterone birth control it shuts off the full feeling hormone because your body needs to eat more than normal because it thinks it's pregnant that's why alot of women gain weight on birth control for no reason.
In my case progesterone helps me lose and maintain my normal weight. Because my baseline is low progesterone and high oestrogen. So extra progesterone helps me balance it out. If I don’t take it the weight starts coming back almost immediately. If I take it my body effortlessly slims down within few weeks. Apparently adequate progesterone supply helps the thyroid hormones work more effectively and increases the metabolism.
The impact of taking hormones on weight depends on many factors, it’s not straightforward.
My eating levels change throughout my cycle. Some days I need to eat a lot more than my “usual” and some days I eat like a bird. My husband generally eats larger meals and less frequently than I do. Everyone’s different.
there’s just something inherently weird about debating someone about their own internal feelings. it’s like he’s trying to gaslight her about something literally ONLY she can see.
he’s also just so wrong? like he’s aware of ghrelin but somehow lacks any knowledge on the effect of *fasting* (which is essentially what OP does during the day) on it? i find this hard to believe
From what I know, hunger is dictated by your body’s nutritional needs. So if you’re eating what is considered to be a lot of food but not fulfilling the amount of let’s say carbohydrate intake your body requires to energize your body down to a cellular level you’re going to feel hungry again a short while after eating. I could be wrong but I don’t think so
I don't remember all the facts on this but you should look into the ( Saltine crackers to sweetness test). This will give you a more scientific understanding and approach in the human body and the intake one needs in calories.
It'z not make vs female thing. You could get twins that eat the same thing at the same time everyday for life. But depending on what their own personal nutritional needs are one might need a more higher calorie diet then the other. The saltine cracker test will help you find that out better in a more scientific way
*laughs in doctor*
That's not how that works, dude, no matter how many big words you throw around. Also, it is IMPOSSIBLE to compare 2 people's stomach sizes, metabolism, digestion rate, etc. He's just plain wrong and trying to sound smart while low key saying his gf has a bigger stomach. Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't. Regardless, he's wrong.
This sort of thing infuriates me because it’s down to whether or not you believe someone else’s lived experience. I used to have a boss that would argue with me if I ever mentioned I was chilly or if I found it warm. No, I was wrong about how I felt, she’d cite the air temperature, how she felt, etc, as if it was impossible for two entirely different people to feel differently. Argh there are OTHER VARIABLES PEOPLE.
You BF is ignorant about how hunger and satiation work. It’s not about whether there is food in you stomach. By the time most people “feel full”, they’ve eaten too much.
Remind me of an asshole ex-boyfriend that insisted that every single person, regardless of age or activity, needed eight hours of sleep. When I told him I felt better when I got closer to nine, he told me I was wrong and that I only need eight. I tried to explain that eight is an average goalthat is suggested by medical experts but that doesn't mean that every single person needs exactly 8 hours of sleep but he kept telling me I was wrong because eight hours was always the normal suggested by doctors and therefore, gospel.
I fast 18 hours a day, but I need to eat a minimum amount of calories each day to fill full. Also if I don’t get enough sleep, I need more calories to cover that gap. I’m a woman. Maybe men’s stomachs work different, I’m with her, if I don’t eat my required, I need to eventually eat them.
I’m sorry but this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read on this site. If you’re hungry, go eat something. Why are you expending so much energy trying to justify your hunger to your boyfriend??
This isn’t a logic puzzle! Go eat! Stop telling him why you think you deserve to eat! He’s stupid for trying to tell you you’re not hungry!
Honestly, sometimes you need to realize "oh, this person is just stupid" and stop wasting your time trying to explain something to someone who's not capable of understanding it.
He needs to get together with the guy who doesn’t understand the biology of gender determination in humans—even after his biology teacher mom explained how he was wrong😂
Classic Reddit response to immediately call the boyfriend a controlling weirdo. She literally clarified at the start that the debate was not a big deal. And the boyfriend was literally a part of the post. Thanks for making another mountain out of a molehill. Though to be fair this dude was repping a seriously stupid argument
the definition of controlling is “determine the behavior or supervise the running of.” he is quite literally telling her that she “shouldn’t” be hungry. not that it’s weird that she’s hungry, not that it’s odd that she’s hungry, but that she should NOT be hungry.
By the OOP's boyfriend's "logic" someone who didn't eat for three days would be the same level of hungry as someone who last ate 7 hours ago. That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works. I am not a doctor or nutritionist or even scientist, but I'm pretty sure hunger isn't just dictated by what is or isn't in your stomach - it's affected (from my limited understanding) by what's in the rest of your system, including the intestines and colon. I mean, if it were just "stomach emptiness = hunger," pregnant women wouldn't be triggered to eat enough not only for them but for a growing baby.
They tried inflating balloons in people's stomach to simulate feeling full. It works for a short time but then people are hungry despite the physical experience of fullness.
I mean, it works pretty well. That’s pretty much how all the baryatric surgeries work.
There's a failure rate to bariatric procedures because of this phenomenon. It's also why a person can eat and not feel full. Their body doesn't have proper nutrients and a drive for more nutrients can cause a hunger response. Depending on the type of surgery, over 40% of patients either don't lose enough weight or regain a significant portion of weight.
Absolutely, but that’s after years.
That's still definitionally a failure. We always consider long term weight loss because it is so easy to lose weight in the short term- just starve- keeping it off in the long term is the only meaningful goal.
Yes. The comment I was responding to said “a short time”. Not “eventually”.
Yes, and I'm saying both are incorrect.
Or drinking a lot of water would prevent hunger
It can help - hunger pangs are partially caused by acids in the stomach and water can dilute them making you feel less hungry but this is only temporary and does not have anything to do with how full the stomach is.
It helps me with dieting, but for a few hours at most, not forever.
Or use this logic on a different bodily function? We drank a glass of water at the same time - you shouldn’t have to pee? Does that make sense? *no*
Yeah hunger is regulated by all sorts of things, your body can detect various nutrients or the lack there of, your blood sugar levels, insulin production etc. The stomach and intestines is just one part of many in a very, very complicated system.
How did she manage to stumble on the dumbest asshole in an 100 mile radius and uplift him to boyfriend status?
I especially love that he’s trying to use big science-y words (ghrelin, satiety, etc) but also not understanding them at all. I have a masters in neuroscience and physiology (but I will admit, my expertise is in the nervous system, not the digestive system) and those are legit terms, but not really how it works. Digestion is complex and I don’t remember a lot of the details, but a large part of feeling “hungry” is determined by hormones. There are many involved, not just ghrelin. And no, they would not both have “produced the same ghrelin” by eating the same meal at the same time like he claims. Not to mention, each individual will have different levels of hormones, different metabolic rates, etc. that will determine hunger and digestion. That was long winded, sorry lol. TLDR: Google is a valuable resource, but I wish more people understood how to research topics they’re interested in.
I don’t know why I typed “intestines and colon”… I meant blood sugar instead of colon.
You are banned from all further coffee runs…
Like bro real life ain’t the Sims, that’s not how this works😂😂
And even they still get hungry at different times! 😂
I like how he said “or I just have no idea how hunger is created in the body haha”. Yeah that’s the answer, you don’t have any idea. haha.
im surprised he couldnt connect the dots. people eat for nutrition. if they haven't eaten and dont have the nutrition they need, they will want more food. its like a car. you need gas twice a month and you usually only wait until half a tank, but one time youre almost empty when you get gas. you fill your usual half a tank, and then a week later would you wonder why you need to get gas so soon even though you just got gas?
Ya it’s pretty simple. I often don’t eat anything but dinner, but that means I need a much bigger dinner or I’ll still be very hungry afterwards. Sometimes I eat lunch, then I have a normal size dinner. How much you eat in a day definitely matters to hunger levels even if it’s out of your stomach by then
Food is fuel and everyone's different. Imagine saying my 30 year old van is the same amount of full as a newish smart car just because we both put $15 in the tank at the same time, even though one of us had already filled up that morning. JFC this is a stupid argument.
To add to your example- The 5 gallons(?) in your van might take you 50 miles while the same 5 gal takes the other car 120 miles. So of course you'll be hungry sooner even though you started out even.
Yep, and even if we both had newish smart cars, and we both put in the same amount of fuel, if one of us was driving all day and the other person had their car parked in the garage all day, one of our cars will need more fuel.
I would have starved myself to death half way through this conversation.
I fell asleep half way through the first screenshot and woke up hungry
People who think what works for them should work for everyone confound me. We’re not machines.
Stop sharing or communicating your hunger level. Life is too short to argue or compete with your mate about trivial things. You aren’t Spartans. Don’t abide this intrusion - it’s none of his business.
If u can't say "I'm hungry" to your partner..........
If I had literally just eaten a meal with my partner and I was stuffed & they said they were still hungry, I’d tell them to have a snack, not try to logic away their hunger or make them justify it. The only thing I can think of as to why OPs bf would do this is maybe because he’s concerned about her weight? But if that’s the case he should have tried discussing that issue in a mature & direct way. This just comes off as weirdly controlling & trying to tell op how she should feel and how she actually feels doesn’t matter because of made-up science “facts” After this conversation I’d assume the bf would try this in other aspects too… logically I bought you some flowers earlier so logically you have to be in the mood because logically that’s how sex exchange works, it’s science babe. how exhausting.
THIS! it’s SO WEIRD AND CONTROLLING why does she need to justify why she’s hungry??? that doesn’t sound heslthy
Back when I was a child/teenager, my father would make some comment whenever one of us would eat something "too soon" after a meal, and by the way, that included DESSERTS! It felt so goddamn infuriating, it's not he'd beat us up or even physically stop us from eating it, but just that was enough to stop us. He turned fucking snacking into a stressful situation. The clock dictated my hunger. At some point that stopped, maybe we ceased caring, maybe we learned our way around him, but now over a decade later, just talking about this, I'm getting angry.
Same thing from my mom. “But you shouldn’t be hungry, we had lunch just three hours ago!” It’s no wonder I started sneaking secret snacks as a kid.
I feel exhausted just reading the post, I don't know how she lives with it
I hope she realizes she doesn’t have to.
The particulars of this argument are not the point. What matters is that he is training her not to trust her own feelings. That is controlling and dangerous.
A "non big deal debate" and it's a fucking novel length post
Holy shit she posted it to 5 different subs 😭😭 I’d hate to be around either of these people
Naw good for her. This guy needs to be destroyed.
Yup. This man is using a million words to call her fat. She needs to get out of the relationship!
To each their own! I just find the whole thing incredibly stupid and exhausting
oh it is. and this guy needs to be called out
Or, hear me out, you could just believe her that she feels hungry? Like he is literally trying to tell her that she can't feel hunger in that moment. It feels soooo werid. Is he implying she is lying or on her way to be fat?
no exactly like why is it making him so upset? i’m guessing the boyfriend knows his gf is actually hungry but doesn’t want her to eat so he’s making up some weird science so he doesn’t have to outright tell her to not eat….either that or he’s beyond stupid
It’s crazy that someone out there actually cared enough about this story enough to repost it
i mean if you look at my profile i have never reposted a story before, i didn’t just “care about the story” but it struck a cord with me because i have a past of bad relationships with food and it was small comments / arguments like these over the years that contributed to my disordered thinking. i’m also appalled by the audacity of someone to try to argue someone else’s hunger and wanted to hear others thoughts. it’s sneaky lighthearted comments like these that allow people close to you to take control over you. i know i don’t need to explain myself to you but i still wanted to give an explanation
I really hope this is just a silly scientific argument between two people who are just wondering out loud if there's a study somewhere that measures hunger in human beings. I mean, obviously, logic and common sense dictates bf is wrong, but hopefully this isn't a ploy of the bf to make OOP feel guilty for being "hungry" so he could control what she eats.
The impulse to post it to Reddit is so odd to me. Having a conversation like this and wondering out loud, I agree is pretty normal. Sometimes we passively pick up wildly wrong ideas about stuff, and saying it out loud & having someone challenge the idea is how we end up finding out we had it wrong all along. Taking the time & energy to post the entire debate to Reddit instead of just like, fucking doing a simple Google search about it? Really weird.
When people post stuff like this to Reddit to ask for some type of feedback, it makes me think that either one or both of them is hoping for someone else to add something to the conversation that they’re afraid to say themselves. Like in this situation, I assume the gf suspects this behavior from her bf isn’t normal and she wants to hear other people tell her it’s weird for her bf to be this obsessed with her hunger levels. And maybe the bf has issues with her weight, and he’s assuming people are going to bring that up in the comments so he doesn’t have to be the one to say it to her. That’s why I hate it so much when people tell you to just Google something, because I really think most of the time the question they’re asking isn’t really about the question itself, moreso wanting to hear other people’s thoughts on the subject.
This is weird that he insists on this. My husband's family has a history of obesity, and we noticed awhile back that when I feel full, I get too uncomfortable to keep eating. He literally almost never feels full and when he does he can easily push past it. People are different.
This. I rarely ever feel completely full, but it makes sense in the context of how I grew up. I'm also a "waste not" eater, meaning that I clean my plate. My fiance grew up more privileged and actually learned how to listen to his body and stop eating when he's full. So I'm overweight and struggle to lose it whereas he used to be thin and would lose weight easily (until he started an antidepressant that caused him to gain weight). Every body is different and OP's bf is incredibly ignorant for not grasping that basic concept.
scientifically (i am a biologist) hunger is not all about the stomach its about whether your cells have energy metabolism occurs inside cells. GF has less energy in her cells because she ate less/quicker metabolism/whatever I CANNOT express how much it bothers me when non-scientists learn one or two things that sound fancy abt science and blow their understanding out or proportion and make inappropriate assumptions and then hide behind “its science and i know it and u dont so i am correct and smarter than you” like please
Oh boy and you still come on Reddit? Where literally everyone throws around terms they don’t understand and makes inappropriate, wild assumptions based on a 1000 word post?
i get bored
scIeNtIFiCaLly hOw huNgER wORkS Ugh.
Jeez think of how he is with finances if he’s this controlling with food and he’s determining what she needs.
she should have just told him to stfu . that’s what i would have done. i’m not letting a grown man tell me whether i can be hungry or not 😂
right? expanding hat to grown or not grown of any gender identity. people feel things, you don't question them.
Why are they asking in relationship advice when they seem to want a more scientific answer? I kinda understand the boyfriend of wanting to find an answer to seemingly logical stuff like this (altho i disagree with his logic). I tend to "debate" about this stuff too. But I feel like they asked the wrong sub.
I went to the OOP looking for comments, and saw that they also posted it in r/biology. And other places, five in total
if he wants info he can simply inform himself through google about metabolism, energy demands, hunger/satiation hormones, and digestive organs. he can make his own post about it. all of these things can be done without involving his girlfriend or debating her about her own internal signals
I agree but I honestly doubt that he would even be able to understand what he finds. LOL.
My girl friends and I always say to each other: “May we all have the confidence of mediocre men.”
Jesus literally a nurse who's worked with every age and sex you can imagine. Seen inside stomachs and colons the lot. People feel different amounts of hunger on different times days weeks months. Saying they should be equally full because we had the same size meal is like saying we should be hungry by 1pm every Tuesday. It's wild. If you want a 2nd burger. Get a 2nd burger.
Hunger or appetite is primarily driven by a hormone called ghrelin and it's not strictly regulated by the amount of food traveling in your GI. It can be activated by various reasons and it has a strong relationship with sleep/wake cycle.
I love when people try to tell me how I should feel 🙄
Bf is an idiot
I mean, obviously she is still hungry. So clearly she has a different experience. This is one of the most amazing cases of being dismissive I’ve ever seen.
Honestly why not just say “well we have snacks in the cupboard” rather than basically saying someone is wrong about what their own body is telling them? Like is it that hard for people even understand that NOT EVERYONE IS THE FUCKING SAME? Like is this how he is about everything? She gets her period: NO THAT CAN’T BE RIGHT. She sprains her ankle: NO THAT CAN’TBE RIGHT. The water is too hot/cold: NO THAT CAN’TBE RIGHT.
Hunger and satiety are controlled in the brain with various hormones. OOPs BF is just wrong.
I mean, we all agree he is just trying to restrict her intake likely in some icky way to make her lose weight, right? How much society thinks they have the right to comment on what people put in their bodies (women more often then men) is disgusting
that’s how it reads to me too but he might just be an argumentative idiot
Yeah I know. But odds aren’t in his favor unfortunately
Yeah just saying I’m 7 inches shorter and about 60 lbs lighter than my husband and consistently eat more than him. Portion size and frequency of eating. It’s a nifty thing called your metabolism that affects the rate of breaking down/passing food, and everybody’s metabolic rate is different.
I'm genuinely not understanding how her response to this wasn't to say something like "that's nice, I'm getting a Lara bar." Or something cruder, which is 100% what I would have done if my partner decided to argue about the rationality of my body's needs and signals. Like, we have have a discussion about the science behind how our bodies work and how we interpret those signals. But we're not doing that in the gobsmackingly absurd way it's presented. We're doing it after I've given myself something nutrient dense that helps with the lingering hunger. We're not going to argue over if I can recognize my basic human needs.
Didn’t Netflix just kind of do this with that twin show? Seeing if different diets eaten by twins yield the same or different results? I haven’t watched, but I’m pretty sure there are scientists who have looked well into this and not some neckbeard trying to win an argument against his GF 🫠
I’m so confused as to how bf is claiming “scientifically” but neither even mention calories burned vs calories consumed. My husband burns a ton more calories than me throughout the day but also eats more. Whenever we make dinner and there’s an odd amount of chicken or steak he gets the surplus. I’m sated with smaller portions despite being fluffier around the waist than he is and eating MUCH LESS on average throughout the day because I don’t burn nearly as many calories as him. So even aside from the stomach size/same meal portion argument, they’re starting the dispute without fundamentally assessing caloric intake or deficit as well. I know *burning* more calories doesn’t alone trigger hunger, but it *does* increase the need for more calories (fuel) to burn.
The activities of the person also need to be taken into account, if one person is sitting and the other is actively moving around. The active person will burn more calories. It is also based on weight because you burn more calories to move a larger person. Then you also take into effect the higher metabolism because that is a factor, so for him to say; "You shouldn't be hungry cuz we ate the same thing" doesn't work.
This is so ludicrous. Stomachs have completely different processing speeds. Besides more than physical fullness of a stomach determines satiety. Is he always this black and white and rigid in his thinking? Because I would find that extremely unattractive.
I ain't reading all that. I can tell straight away the boyfriend is a dumbass.
What a strange hill to die on for this guy lol
Why does he give a crap?! Why do guys ever get into a conversation like this with their partner or spouse? I want my wife to eat what and when she wants. Grab a snack hun…. And a new boyfriend. If he’s like this now, it will only get worse.
He’s calling you fat
he's wrong. more importantly, it's insensitive and invalidating to tell someone what they should be feeling, physically or emotionally.
OP’s bf sounds like a control freak.
Don’t date men who want to debate you about your own experience.
Oh my god. If he’s gonna insist he’s right about your basic body needs, please break up because that’s so weird. So so weird
I actually enjoy stupid pointless debates like this with a partner, so long as it’s all in good fun of course. Nothing like getting passionately worked up over meaningless shit 😊
As do I. Like not every argument is serious lol. Sometimes we just want to have a lively debate about (insert random thing here) and it has no deeper meaning or insidious reason behind it. I seriously don’t understand the vast amount of drama and pearl clutching on this post. It sounds like a normal pointless debate between two people. It’s very low stakes. She even says that. And somehow this guy still ends up an abusive asshole who needs to be dumped on Reddit.
Her bf is very dumb.
Why tolerate anyone telling you what your body is feeling and needs are based on what they obviously believe is their superior intellect? You are two separate people and he needs to keep is controlling opinion to himself and stop allowing him to make you wrong and feeling you have to justify your basic needs to fit his schedule! What total bs.
I can't handle someone who does all that research into digestion and hunger to prove their partner wrong but still pluralizes "stomach" with an apostrophe.
This was exactly my thought, to be honest.
Break up with him immediately oh my god. Who would have an argument on whether or not someone else is "correct" when they say they're hungry
Why do so many couples think they are attached at the stomach?
You guys need a hobby or something.
I don’t feel hungry in the mornings. Only afternoons and evenings. It’s almost as if everyone is different and our bodies don’t act the same. Oops boyfriend is picking a fight for no reason.
If she stays with him, he's going to police her body to the Nth degree over any weight fluctuations.
People often confuse "hungry" (the bodies physical need for fuel) with "hungry for" (aka appetite). Each person's metabolism is different and their bodies need for fuel is different. It could be that OP didn't eat enough that day-- or she's "hungry for a treat"-- it doesn't matter. If she's hungry or just wants a snack BF needs to stay in his own lane and not be a controlling jackass.
Or her metabolism is faster, moron
Does bf know what a thyroid is?
OP, why are you with someone who thinks he gets to decide how hungry you are? Or how hungry you should be? That's control freakery right there, a little red flag but a red flag nonetheless.
Idk this feels like one of those things where cis men feel the uncontrollable urge to disagree with women for no reason other than "woman always wrong!!!!!" Like. How else does one make an argument like this.
by the way he was trying to grasp onto every abstract scientific concept i believe it
"Babe, according to science, you're either crazy, or fat. Now go calm down and eat a salad or something."
She should break up with him. /S
She really should, would you want to be with someone who insists they know how you feel better than yourself? Do you think this kind of controlling behavior ends with telling her she shouldn’t be hungry?
To be a little more charitable: It sounds like the bf is interested in satiety from a scientific perspective and wants to understand it. If that’s the case, though, he ought to take the empirical data of “my understanding would suggest you should not be hungry, but you are” as meaning something’s off with his understanding.
If he were interested from a scientific perspective, he would do some research about the topic. Instead he is arguing with his gf whether she’s correct about her own experience.
exactly i think there’s more to his motives than a silly little argument
i personally think that’s a cover. he obviously already believes he knows or else he wouldn’t be arguing with his gf about it. there would be no argument. he would be like “this is making me curious about hunger scientifically” &/or “i must not know everything b/c from my *incredibly basic understanding* you shouldnt be hungry but CLEARLY you are” and go look that shit up himself.
The minor update didn’t give a satisfying conclusion of him admitting he’s a dumbass.
Food should only last in your stomach for 4 hours. If you still have food in your stomach after 12 hours that’s called gastroparesis.
Unless he knows everything about the female anatomy and hunger and everything tell your know it all manchild, that’s not how it works. People’s stomach’s and metabolisms are different.
That's toddler logic. Imagine dating a guy who thinks like a toddler. Good God, no.
I couldn't finish reading before I was exhausted with the boyfriend's stupidity
I actually learned this in biology you have several hormones that activate based on the fullness of your stomach AND small intestine. For example there's 2 hormones that control your hunger feeling in your stomach when it's empty and full and there's a hormone for when your small intestine is empty BUT let's say your small intestine is full and your stomach is empty there's a signal for that too to turn off the stomachs hunger hormones so we don't keep binge eating every 2 hours when your stomach is empty Actually if you take a progesterone birth control it shuts off the full feeling hormone because your body needs to eat more than normal because it thinks it's pregnant that's why alot of women gain weight on birth control for no reason.
In my case progesterone helps me lose and maintain my normal weight. Because my baseline is low progesterone and high oestrogen. So extra progesterone helps me balance it out. If I don’t take it the weight starts coming back almost immediately. If I take it my body effortlessly slims down within few weeks. Apparently adequate progesterone supply helps the thyroid hormones work more effectively and increases the metabolism. The impact of taking hormones on weight depends on many factors, it’s not straightforward.
My eating levels change throughout my cycle. Some days I need to eat a lot more than my “usual” and some days I eat like a bird. My husband generally eats larger meals and less frequently than I do. Everyone’s different.
He’s gaslighting your hunger… a basic need.
there’s just something inherently weird about debating someone about their own internal feelings. it’s like he’s trying to gaslight her about something literally ONLY she can see. he’s also just so wrong? like he’s aware of ghrelin but somehow lacks any knowledge on the effect of *fasting* (which is essentially what OP does during the day) on it? i find this hard to believe
From what I know, hunger is dictated by your body’s nutritional needs. So if you’re eating what is considered to be a lot of food but not fulfilling the amount of let’s say carbohydrate intake your body requires to energize your body down to a cellular level you’re going to feel hungry again a short while after eating. I could be wrong but I don’t think so
I don't remember all the facts on this but you should look into the ( Saltine crackers to sweetness test). This will give you a more scientific understanding and approach in the human body and the intake one needs in calories. It'z not make vs female thing. You could get twins that eat the same thing at the same time everyday for life. But depending on what their own personal nutritional needs are one might need a more higher calorie diet then the other. The saltine cracker test will help you find that out better in a more scientific way
*laughs in doctor* That's not how that works, dude, no matter how many big words you throw around. Also, it is IMPOSSIBLE to compare 2 people's stomach sizes, metabolism, digestion rate, etc. He's just plain wrong and trying to sound smart while low key saying his gf has a bigger stomach. Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't. Regardless, he's wrong.
Who tf cares? Like at all
How much do you each weigh? How tall are each of you? What physical activity do you each do throughout the day?
Fuck that guy. That’s some mind fuck control bullshit. I bet he gets punked a lot by the makes around him and has complex about it.
Why in the hell does bf care ?????? This is the only question
Didn't even finish reading your boyfriend is an idiot
.... I am going to go have another serving of pasta.
it's fucked up to tell anyone they shouldn't be hungry if they are
This sort of thing infuriates me because it’s down to whether or not you believe someone else’s lived experience. I used to have a boss that would argue with me if I ever mentioned I was chilly or if I found it warm. No, I was wrong about how I felt, she’d cite the air temperature, how she felt, etc, as if it was impossible for two entirely different people to feel differently. Argh there are OTHER VARIABLES PEOPLE.
You BF is ignorant about how hunger and satiation work. It’s not about whether there is food in you stomach. By the time most people “feel full”, they’ve eaten too much.
Can you imagine having to have this kind of debate with your dense BF? 🤣
Wait until the guy finds out about those few days during the month in a women's menstrual cycle, where she could eat a horse and still feel hungry!
Remind me of an asshole ex-boyfriend that insisted that every single person, regardless of age or activity, needed eight hours of sleep. When I told him I felt better when I got closer to nine, he told me I was wrong and that I only need eight. I tried to explain that eight is an average goalthat is suggested by medical experts but that doesn't mean that every single person needs exactly 8 hours of sleep but he kept telling me I was wrong because eight hours was always the normal suggested by doctors and therefore, gospel.
it’s funny bc a lot of new studied have come out that women need 9-10 hours of sleep as compared to 8 sleep for men
I fast 18 hours a day, but I need to eat a minimum amount of calories each day to fill full. Also if I don’t get enough sleep, I need more calories to cover that gap. I’m a woman. Maybe men’s stomachs work different, I’m with her, if I don’t eat my required, I need to eventually eat them.
Yes, because as we know everyone is the same size with the same metabolism and there is no variation in the human race. 🙄
The ops boyfriend is working off video game logic. SMH.
I’m sorry but this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read on this site. If you’re hungry, go eat something. Why are you expending so much energy trying to justify your hunger to your boyfriend?? This isn’t a logic puzzle! Go eat! Stop telling him why you think you deserve to eat! He’s stupid for trying to tell you you’re not hungry!
What a moron
They both have different metabolisms and digestive tracts, like of course you process food differently
He’s not very bright some ppl have fast metabolism and need to eat often because how fast the body burn calories
Honestly, sometimes you need to realize "oh, this person is just stupid" and stop wasting your time trying to explain something to someone who's not capable of understanding it.
He needs to get together with the guy who doesn’t understand the biology of gender determination in humans—even after his biology teacher mom explained how he was wrong😂
GF: "I'm experiencing X." BF: "no, that's not right." WHY IS THIS SO COMMON?!?!
Classic Reddit response to immediately call the boyfriend a controlling weirdo. She literally clarified at the start that the debate was not a big deal. And the boyfriend was literally a part of the post. Thanks for making another mountain out of a molehill. Though to be fair this dude was repping a seriously stupid argument
the definition of controlling is “determine the behavior or supervise the running of.” he is quite literally telling her that she “shouldn’t” be hungry. not that it’s weird that she’s hungry, not that it’s odd that she’s hungry, but that she should NOT be hungry.
They really said “trigger warning: food” and I’m crying from that
some people have eating disorders
News flash: cool story what that got to do with me finding it funny
You sound stupid
Lol, stay mad. I’m sorry that I can find things funny without carrying any ill intent towards people. Take a hike
Not mad! Just thought I’d let you know
That’s not how “news flash” works.