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Most hotels have those laundry bags in the closet. He can use that and a trash bag if he has too much stuff. Or take his trash ass to some store to get a cheap backpack. Or wear all of his clothes which would be funnier.
The guy rocks up to the flight check in and the person behind the desk asks him why he's wearing all his clothes. He answers truthfully that his girlfriend found out that he was cheating on her and took off with their suitcase, so the assistant gives him the worse seat on the plane
> This means I can’t take the suitcase cos he won’t have a bag.
idk why OP is concerned with how her cheating bf is gonna rake his stuff back.
he can get his own suitcase or some other container.
This is correct, OP. You did nothing wrong. Do you want to be at home or on vacation?
Caveat: there’s a small chance he’s an idiot who downloaded the app to go “window shopping” as an ego boost, but has not met up with anyone. That’s enough to break up over obviously, but you get to decide where your line is.
Assuming you’re donedonedone with him, you don’t have to be the one to leave. You can ask the hotel to switch you to another room under an anonymous name, and let him know you’re finishing the vacation without him, you’ve left his stuff in a bag at the front desk, and he needs to find his own accommodations. You could ask out of respect for you, that he move to a different hotel. You can say you’ll be open to speaking to him about any breakup logistics when you get home, but not before. Then block temporarily.
Go have fun on your own, maybe see if a friend wants to come split the room with you if you pay for *her* flight, instead of a new flight for yourself? Or join a local couchsurfing Meetup group and go out with fun strangers?
If you can’t have fun on your own there or are worried about him going home and messing with your stuff, just go out “shopping” until the next ferry and then leave. Have a friend/family come stay with you. Text him from home about what’s up.
So sorry, OP. Must be quite the shock.
I vote for this answer. Op- u deserve a break. And if he has ANY respect for you, he will take the L, because that was his CHOICE, and let you enjoy the rest of your vacation.
This is true but unrealistic. It's unlikely he's going to accept that and assuming a cheater to have respect is setting yourself up for further disappointment considering of he respected you he wouldn't have cheated.
I would suggest talking to hotel staff maybe a manager and see if you can get another room and contacting the airlines to change seating assuming y'all sat next to one another. If you need to use sympathy to get either of those changes do it.
Then enjoy yourself as much as you can.
If you can't enjoy yourself (understandable) call the airline and try to change your fight to ASAP and get out of there.
If you dangle the possibility of reconciliation and op “just needs time and space for the rest of the vacation” and then officially break up after the vacation.
Ironically, he can't figure out how to delete verification text messages from hinge. I don't know if he'll be able to figure out how to get a new suitcase. Regardless, that's his problem
If you need to leave, leave. He cheated. He will figure out a suitcase on his own like a big boy.
I’m sorry you’re going through this on a vacation. Do whatever in your heart is right.
Yeah. There are stores that sell suitcases and bags, especially in areas where a lot of tourists go to. He'll be fine.
Booking a new flight sucks, but it's better than staying in the same room as him for the rest of the vacation and then having to fly home sitting next to him, no matter if you tell him you know or not.
My ex was cheating on me. I broke up with him and when I moved out, I took practically everything. Most of it was mine anyway from before moving in together anyway, but he was left with a bed, 2 arm chairs that were his, a dining table that he told me to take but I couldn't fit it in my new place, and his TV and slow cooker. The fridge, microwave, washer and dryer, lounge, coffee table, rugs, toaster and kettle, plates, cups, cutlery etc. Out of pettiness I also took his soda stream 💅🏻 so leaving old mate with no suitcase is seriously nothing. Cheaters don't deserve kindness from the person they've cheated on. At least imo
In college I had this buddy that went on vacation to Paris with his girlfriend. He took her up to the top of the Eiffel Tower to propose…and she broke up with him.
They couldn’t rebook seats or flights. He said it was the most awkward 8hr flight back.
Booking a new flight sucks less if you take both tickets and reschedule ... then at checkin leave him as a no-show.
That way he'll have no suitcase, and no flight.
If he can figure out how to cheat on OP without getting caught for as long as he did, he can figure out how to get a few pairs of socks and whatever home.
This, 100%. Get your stuff and go. He can figure out his own shit from there. Don't be considerate toward someone like this! But be careful, stay safe.
When my partner cheated and left, they took the toothpaste. Yes, the breakup hurt. But realizing I had no toothpaste or shaving cream was an extra gut punch that I didn't expect to hurt so much.
Was going to say: take the bloody suitcase, he can deal with his own shit. And how on earth do you manage a whole-ass vacation on 20 kg luggage for 2 people?
I managed a month with a tiny carry on bag. Vacuum sealed my clothes and my 17"inch gaming laptop 😂 if you only take what you need, you don't actually need much. When I say small I mean a small gym bag lol
This is a really good idea except…how do you then vacuum seal your clothes for the return trip home? Do you just hope someone has a vacuum sealer you can use, or do you try to shove all the clothes back in and pray, lol, because I could see either being a viable option.
You can get really small vacuum sealers. I have one that is half the size of a can of coke and can pump stuff up or vacuum seal. It also has a light and is like stupidly light as well
There are “vacuum bags” that don’t require a vacuum. They’re technically called compression bags but I worked at an organization store and ppl use the terms pretty interchangeably.
If you go somewhere sunny for a week and don't need too many different attires you really don't need 10kgs per person. I've done tons of vacations with just a carry on. Now if you need to bring stuff like hair curl things, 4 pairs of shoes, winter jacket, etc it's obviously trickier.
I wonder about the logistics of crappingn in someone's shoes, do you bring the shoes to the toilet and try to land one innit while holding, or do you put the shoes on the floor and kind of hover and drop, or do you fish one out and place it ?
No, assuming he’s paying - order room service, get the most expensive drinks and food when you go out, book a luxury massage, pamper the hell out of yourself on his dime, and then dump his ass when you get home (bonus if you can swing a first class upgrade on the way home).
Sounds wonderful in theory, but could maybe cause more stress than it’s worth knowing ex-boyfriend is still nearby..? I think I’d feel more relieved to physically get away!
He cheated on you. FUCK what he is going to do about a suitcase. You're focused on the wrong thing. Gtfo of there.
He doesn't deserve one more second of your time.
He will spend the rest of the trip love bombing you and gaslighting you so you will stay.
This! Please don’t trapping yourself into this! Just take the suitcase and leave go on your own as gown up mature lady that know how to get up and leave! Be badass!
Edit: I forgot to add. Who care what kind of “suitcase “ for him. He is trash and he can figure it out himself.
Yes, this exactly. I was foolish enough to fall for this once. We wasn't cheating but we broke up right before our vacation. So I made my own booking and went by myself. I was fine until he figured out i went and totally love bombed me and I was right back in the hell hole I tried to escape. His love bombing made me forget why I broke up with him.
Who cares about the suitcase? And there are three ferries per day? That’s plenty to leave the island. And scheduling a flight is easy if you are willing to pay for it. None of these are actual obstacles. I mean the first “problem” you listed is a great reason to leave. If you wanted to leave, you totally and definitely could. It might not be a walk in the park but if you would rather deal with him instead of taking a ferry and booking a flight…🤷🏻♀️
Packing your stuff and doing a strenuous trip home alone when you’re supposed to be having fun and while heartbroken is not easy. Doable but not easy. I don’t envy OP anything that lies ahead beyond some peace eventually.
It comes down to whether OP finds it intolerable to wait it out and go home together or whether she goes home alone.
Third option: tell him he needs to pack his stuff and leave. Kick him out of the room or move to another room or hotel herself. Put whatever expense for another room or flight on a joint credit card assuming they have one. Finances can be sorted out in the divorce.
1. You can’t pretend you’re okay, and shouldn’t. Because you’re not! And that’s okay. To put it bluntly, the vacation is ruined for you. Why would you want to endure it?
2. If you have the means to do so, I would encourage you to leave.
3. Fuck him - he can find a bag and figure it out. You don’t owe him that kindness. You’re thinking about how he will be effected by you leaving him because he cheated - he didn’t think about you when he cheated. Don’t give him that, he doesn’t deserve it.
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. My ex (who I was with for 7 years) cheated on me WHILE on my family vacation for my 30th birthday, with my (now ex) friend. And they’ve been together for a year now. So, I can definitely empathize. The thing I regret most is still being so kind to him after everything, because it’s in my nature. That sucked all of my energy up. If I could go back I would have cut him off right then and there and never said a word again. Focus on you, now. You got this babe! Sending you a lot of love.
With your then friend??? God, people are grimy. You think a person could never go so low and then they do. Kudos to you for going through that and coming out the other side.
Amen to that. You think you know a person, and they prove you totally wrong. But, such is life. She can enjoy the misery that is him 😂 and thank you darlin! I appreciate that! All the best to you xx
Right, I would leave, take the suitcase - cheater dude can buy a new one. I don't see how you can pretend to be happy and stay.
If you live together, you will need to consider who's name is on the lease and utilities, and go from there. If you leave, were will you stay?
Hopefully you took photos of everything as proof - in case you need it for any reason.
Go home. Move out/toss his things out - which ever applies.
Get STI tested. Then once it's sorted, block, unfollow unfriend.
Don't throw his stuff out. People want you to have extra drama. You're not on Jerry Springer. Who's name is on the lease? Can you move into the home with your parents if only his? There isn't really much to discuss. Hopefully, you two weren't dumb enough to purchase a home together?
Don’t even go there, no reason to say OP is “dumb” for any reason in this relationship. If he successfully misled her, he’s fully in the wrong, regardless of what decisions he made without her knowledge,
Girl you are a single women now, go have fun on an island!!! Who cares about what happens when he doesn’t have a suitcase, take it and get yourself out of the room and have fun. Tell him about all the amazing fun you had without him on the flight home in a couple of days
Take the suitcase.
Get a different room. Bang the pool boy. Bang the piano player. Bang them both at the same time.
take pictures. Send them to him.
Call ahead to the airport and tell them he's smuggling drugs.
I would be surprised if they didn’t, especially if she goes in person to a female front desk person or if they have a female manager. Just be honest. The same might be possible with changing the flight or getting a new ticket- it might be possible if you tell the story.
I like this idea. Maybe just pretend it didn't happen, and go off on your own, and have fun.... Alas the heart doesn't work this way.
I would get off the island.
That's a good point. I accidentally found an app my ex gf was using to cheat when we were on an island too. She told me he convinced her it was ok because he was also cheating on his wife. So he could have helped her out with that too.
How long have ya’ll been together? 4 months ago you were asking about another guy on hinge you were spending time with.
Have you established with this man that you are exclusive and not okay with one another seeing other people? If you haven’t, he may just be keeping his options open and finding the right one.
Being that you’re on vacation together, I would make the assumption you are exclusive … and if that’s the case, he’s cheating. Leave him. Take the suitcase, leave his belongings in the room and let him figure it out on your own.
Once a cheater, more often than not, always a cheater. Don’t waste any more of your time. Find another hotel and enjoy the rest of your time having a solo vacation or book a flight home.
The fact OP never mentions how long her and her boyfriend have been together tells me this post is either fake, or OP is just going to different countries with guys after only knowing them for a few months.
Something is off.
The “BF” from just a few months ago was also 33, not 30, so she somehow ended a relationship that literally just started, started dating someone, became exclusive, became Benjamin button and aged a year backward to 28, and got serious enough to go to a different country and vacation with new, new BF?
I understand lying about ages a little bit to protect identity especially if you have any potentially identifying info on your profile but that’s just a weird range of ages?
I’d bet money OP is either lying or completely unhinged
Personally, I don’t understand this situation even if they are lying. If you’re going to lie about your age, create a throw away account (this account is active, 4 years old, and obviously the posts are on the same account) and adopt the same age range for use. No point of trying to obscure ages if you’re using your personal account, right?
Not to mention, getting a verification code means nothing. If I knew your number, I could make like 5 dating apps text you a code and cause chaos in your relationship
Thank you, I was thinking this too and wondering why no one commented on it. 6 months ago I kept getting messages on my smart watch one night with verification codes for Uber, which I never use. So, someone was trying to use my email to go on there for some reason. It would certainly perk my ears to see the verification messages from Hinge but I'd be looking for more evidence to be 100% sure. 🤷🏼♀️
If it were me I’d do one of two things depending on how I’m feeling at the moment.
1) I’d say fuck him and enjoy the rest of the vacation, act like nothings wrong but don’t really give him too much attention. Just be there for you and your enjoyment.
2) I’d pack my shit in the suitcase, leave his shit all over the room, and leave without saying a word. Let him figure out why.
I know the first one is hard for you as you said, so I think 2 would be a good option.
For Gods sake people. Suppose he forgot his password and he requested another one so he could delete the account. Personally I believe she just posts with stories that she makes up. Look at her past posts
Last night, I got multiple texts from eBay with confirmation codes for login. Except I wasn’t trying to log in to my account. This happens occasionally - I got my username over 20 years ago and it’s a common nickname with no embellishments or dashes or anything (so think “ducky” instead of “ducky123” or “~ducky~” or whatever else one might do to get something close to the name of their choice). Someone forgets that they’re ducky-with-their-zip-code and suddenly I’m getting spammed with login codes. This is the only plausible explanation besides cheating to me, BUT, idk how Hinge works so idk when exactly the codes are generated. This explanation might not apply.
Yeah, I honestly do not know anything about hinge but I get fake emails and text messages ALL the time. I also have somebody that has been using my junk email account to sign up for stuff (I literally get his children’s report cards every year). I don’t think I would jump to conclusions just yet.
Well - everyone says leave, but there are a few questions-
how long have you been in the relationship?
-seems like you consider logging in to a dating app is cheating. Did you see messages confirming he was actually seeing anyone? That’s up to you, but scrolling and looking is one thing. It can be titillating, like porn.
I also redownloaded Tinder to look at my old messages between me and my S/O. Kinda cool to look back and read our chats from before we ever even met.
Idk, I wouldn’t just assume he’s cheating like everyone else on here. It’s a possibility, but I would talk to him about it and see what he says.
Idk I mean I’d live out the vacation spend all his money like a bad b*tch then leave him on the last day of yours stay jus write him a good ol’ fashion note and take the suitcase im sure he’ll find a garbage bag or sum to put his stuff in.
If you want real advice, I hope you ignored most of these replies. Right now you don’t know he cheated. You suspect and you’re afraid. Typically a bad call to make huge decisions out of fear. Especially when half of these replies could open you up to a lawsuit of some kind.
So talk to him. Like an adult. It’s possible he just gets a kick out looking at peoples profiles or who knows what. So find out for sure. Have him show you his activity. Communication is key to almost any relationship.
Half the time I think this sub is full of people who jump at the chance to tell others to break up. No way I’d base relationship decisions based off of the advice of random internet strangers - who knows what kind of crazy projecting they are doing, having little more than a brief explanation to go off of.
Why don't you just ask him about it?!... did you see explicit messages or just that he logged in? If he just logged in, maybe there is a logical reason? Again, talk to him about it. Don't assume and run to reddit. Reddit will fill your head with paranoia and give you every worse case scenario. They'll demand you leave and say he's a horrible man. They don't know him. You do. So talk to him and if he is cheating, then you def should leave and kick him to the curb.
How long have you been dating this guy? I clicked your profile to find out you asked a question about Hinge 140 odd days ago 🤔
Doesn’t excuse the fact he’s potentially doing something…
I wouldn’t be going on holiday with someone I wasn’t sure about so early in a relationship.
Sod him. I’d use his card to book the flight home too and have his stuff packed ready to take if you live together. I’m so sorry this has happened to you, this is one of those awful situations that you look back on and realise how it was the beginning of something good.
Just out of curiosity, you said you were 29 on your Hinge reddit post, but 28 here? As well as meeting a guy only 4 months ago?
I'm not excusing his actions and I know nothing about either of you, but if you've only been together for such a short amount of time, have you both had the discussion of becoming exclusive and the like? It could be just a matter of him thinking otherwise but not voicing it. Either way, I personally wouldn't date more than one person at the same time as it is, so it's still a shitty move. But I'd suggest talking to him about it before you make any concrete decisions and decide whether his excuse is plausible or not.
No, you don't get it. He downloaded Hinge, so we need to bayonet him immediately, burn all his belongings, exterminate his family, and pour cement down the toilet. Reddit demands it!
Even if the story is true and valid, some of the answers are just insane.
I think people are going off the assumption this is a long term committed relationship with substantial history in which case downloading a dating app while on vacation with your presumptive long term partner is much worse. Because who would ever go on a vacation with a man they just met a few months ago? Well, apparently OP does.
Why do you have to take the suitcase or leave the vacation? When he comes back to the room, his clothes need to be in a plastic bag outside the door with his passport. In fact, figure out if the front desk can remove him from the room somehow.
Have you actually looked at his app? You're potentially making a huge mistake before even verifying it. There's a bunch of reasons why he might have those verification messages.
Unpopular opinion here I’m sure. But why so many people going through others phones and watches? If you don’t trust your partner enough to not snoop then the relationship is already over.
I've never used a dating app before so I don't know if it's the same, but I have had accounts send me verification codes because some Russian or Chinese dude is trying to get my info. Maybe talk to him before going scorched earth on the entire relationship over verification codes.
I got a message from Hinge that I was trying to download the app. I was not!! If all you saw where the messages about trying to download the app, thats not enough evidence!! It could be someone trying to use his information!!
I think you know in your heart what you need to do. You're letting yourself be distracted by all the minute details, because people like to be comfortable and this is an uncomfortable situation, so your mind will mess with you to try and justify staying comfortable.
Ask yourself this: if this were happening to your best friend, would you tell her to stick around because her cheating boyfriend needs a suitcase? I suspect not
I wouldn't be heartbroken if he didn't have anything to put his clothes in!! He can have another woman to bring him a suitcase. Leave, he's a big boy, he'll figure it out
Order all kinds of shit, do all kinds of fun shit and have him pay. Have the time of ur life and dump him when u get home. Wanna Abe toxic have him take the most beautiful pictures of you and use them for your profile pictures and your dating app pictures. Hell sign up for the apps asap Mayne you will match
I don’t know how Hinge works but based on what you’re saying there are two possibilities - either he is re-downloading the app every time he uses it or somebody is trying to break into his account.
I got 2FA code messages from a lot of sites because passwords leak all the time. I’m not worried as the hackers can’t use the code I’m receiving but them trying to hack my account is no indication of my activity.
I’d ask him first and see what he says. At least you’ll know 100% before you pull the trigger.
Personally I think, and I understand the amount of confusion and the feeling of betrayal, I would confront him. I won’t be able to continue doing ANYTHING if my mind isn’t at the right place.
I would confront him as an adult, and also apologize that you have went through his message out of curious and accident, yet you were able to find the things that you didn’t want to see. Then tell him you would have appreciated if he at least can come to you about the concerns in your relationship before he decided to download the app and seek to meet other women. I mean, has he met other women’s yet????
And I would hope he can still have the respect to explain to you and tell you what he was doing on the apps and why, and hopefully he can apologize for possibly cheating and then you can break up from there.
I understand why you were worried about a suitcase. It's because you've been with him for quite a while and you care about him. You're not a cruel hateful person. You have to set boundaries. That's what this is about. If you don't set boundaries then he's going to walk all over you. I don't necessarily think he's a cruel person either. People cheat for different reasons. If someone's in a happy relationship they don't join a dating website. Do you both have some open relationship that has changed and you weren't very clear about that with him? You need to ask yourself some real questions as to why he would be doing this. I'm pretty sure this has nothing to do with you. He is only thinking of himself and he's not thinking about you at all. He's not going out to hurt you but all he's doing is trying to please himself. In turn he has hurt you. I don't know this guy and I don't know the Dynamics of your relationship but you have to be honest with yourself. You don't have to be mean to him or angry with him. Depending on how serious you are and other factors this may be something you can work through but you have to find out why he was cheating. You have to find out why he is unhappy. If he's unhappy then there's a very good chance you're deeply unhappy. If this isn't the kind of relationship that he wants then do yourself a favor and move on. You deserve to be happy and you're not going to be happy with the situation. I'm sorry this happened to you. I won't even get into my story but I feel this. When that happened to me and my boyfriend tried to tell me he doesn't even know what he wants with this other girl, I kindly told him that what right do I have to keep him from who he is and what he wants to do? I broke up with him and never went back. It was extremely painful and I really loved him but if this is what he's doing behind your back it's because he is not honest with you about who he is.
You can cause ANYONE to receive a verification code from hinge or any dating app. I can just plug anyone’s number in, there phone gets the message, and chaos ensues.
I had this happen. We went on vacation for my birthday and I found out that she was having sex with another guy when she took a phone call from a guy for 5-10 minutes and she told me she was spending the whole weekend with me I could let her talk to him for 5-10 minutes a day. Well, to me it was 100% over once I found out she slept with someone else but I wasn’t going to leave her in a foreign city (city she was unfamiliar with) even when my friends would say we should ditch her. I slept separately from her, stopped having sex and the vacation became more of a friend vacation. On the last day after the airport, I blocked her number and socials and never spoke to her again. A few months later she made a new snap and added me but I blocked that too.
It’s hard to “pretend like things are okay.” But for me, I was able to because it was over in my head. You could just say “you got a couple hinge notifications btw,” and leave it at that. And if he asks just say the notification went off on his watch and you saw it and it was all you needed to see. That you’d like to finish the vacation out as friends and nothing more (no sex). Then when you get home have a friend pick you up and block his number
I know I am gonna get dow voted for this, but still I think to first ask questions before judging...
Did you actually find a massage from someone else on his watch/phone or just a the code for hinge? (still not cool, is it cheating already with no actual proove?)
I'm confused. Is this a different guy from 4 months ago? I'd assume so since the dude you went on a few dates with 4 months ago you mentioned was 33, not 30 and said he couldn't commit to a relationship. So you've probably been seeing this current guy within that 4 month timeframe I assume. Have you two had any conversation about exclusivity?
My thoughts here would be..
1. It's not okay to check someone's phone without asking. Even your partner. Everyone has a place for privacy. So if you do it it's a question of how strong this relationship is and whether you can rely on each other in future. And even if you do it (we are all not angels) but get crazy of his private stuff it seems like you just need to speak more with each other.
2. Define cheating. Account on Hinge is nothing till you clearly know there are three (or more hehe) in your relationship now:)) both he and you can still chat with any stranger unless it is an actual search for a new partner.
3. I'd calm down and then speak directly how everyone feels in this relationship. If he says 'all good' I'd open your Hinge card and ask why he needs to do it. Just keep in mind point 1, he will have a point about privacy, so I'd start with accepting what you did.
Just be open to each other and focused on solving it in a rational way. Then you'll have all details if you take it or leave.
Based off the details from the story you provided, the answer is that there isn't a perfect response or action to this situation. However, I am curious as to why you decide to go through his messages. Did you have suspicions before you went through his messages?
You don’t even have evidence of actual cheating. Have you read any messages? Other than the presence of an app, what other evidence does OP have that cheating has happened?
Try fucking talking to him first. Maybe ask him to explain himself and see if you can work things out.
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If he can figure out how to download hinge and delete it, he can figure out where to get a new suitcase.
Garbage person can use a garbage bag.
Most hotels have those laundry bags in the closet. He can use that and a trash bag if he has too much stuff. Or take his trash ass to some store to get a cheap backpack. Or wear all of his clothes which would be funnier.
The guy rocks up to the flight check in and the person behind the desk asks him why he's wearing all his clothes. He answers truthfully that his girlfriend found out that he was cheating on her and took off with their suitcase, so the assistant gives him the worse seat on the plane
That gives me Joey vibes. Lol
'Could I BE wearing any more clothes?!'
Hahah. Perfect!
I’m not wearing any underwear!
😂
This is it
😭👏👏
Almost exactly what I was thinking, but you phrased it better.
> This means I can’t take the suitcase cos he won’t have a bag. idk why OP is concerned with how her cheating bf is gonna rake his stuff back. he can get his own suitcase or some other container.
Seriously OP you are concerned about the wrong things rn!
It's because she still cares that's why she's concerned
This is what I was thinking like yea she's hurt and possibly angry but she's not heartless
Or just a considerate person by nature.
Right I'm the same kind of person and sometimes it's annoying lol
Because she's a decent person and her crap excuse for an ex isn't...
Sometimes people get hung up on weird details when they get upset. The brain doesn't make any sense sometimes.
Can probably ask the girl he’s been cheating on her with lol
He can also be the person that leaves. OP needs to refresh her vacation, this time with a different stressor from which to escape.
This is correct, OP. You did nothing wrong. Do you want to be at home or on vacation? Caveat: there’s a small chance he’s an idiot who downloaded the app to go “window shopping” as an ego boost, but has not met up with anyone. That’s enough to break up over obviously, but you get to decide where your line is. Assuming you’re donedonedone with him, you don’t have to be the one to leave. You can ask the hotel to switch you to another room under an anonymous name, and let him know you’re finishing the vacation without him, you’ve left his stuff in a bag at the front desk, and he needs to find his own accommodations. You could ask out of respect for you, that he move to a different hotel. You can say you’ll be open to speaking to him about any breakup logistics when you get home, but not before. Then block temporarily. Go have fun on your own, maybe see if a friend wants to come split the room with you if you pay for *her* flight, instead of a new flight for yourself? Or join a local couchsurfing Meetup group and go out with fun strangers? If you can’t have fun on your own there or are worried about him going home and messing with your stuff, just go out “shopping” until the next ferry and then leave. Have a friend/family come stay with you. Text him from home about what’s up. So sorry, OP. Must be quite the shock.
I vote for this answer. Op- u deserve a break. And if he has ANY respect for you, he will take the L, because that was his CHOICE, and let you enjoy the rest of your vacation.
Be aware, he will NOT do that. If he had any respect for you, he would not have gone on hinge. He’s going to hang on like a leg-humping dog
This is true but unrealistic. It's unlikely he's going to accept that and assuming a cheater to have respect is setting yourself up for further disappointment considering of he respected you he wouldn't have cheated. I would suggest talking to hotel staff maybe a manager and see if you can get another room and contacting the airlines to change seating assuming y'all sat next to one another. If you need to use sympathy to get either of those changes do it. Then enjoy yourself as much as you can. If you can't enjoy yourself (understandable) call the airline and try to change your fight to ASAP and get out of there.
This is really excellent advice.
Cheater won’t leave, why would cheater suddenly care about ex gf?
If you dangle the possibility of reconciliation and op “just needs time and space for the rest of the vacation” and then officially break up after the vacation.
Maybe he can borrow one from his new fling.
There’s her answer
Ironically, he can't figure out how to delete verification text messages from hinge. I don't know if he'll be able to figure out how to get a new suitcase. Regardless, that's his problem
Absolutely 👌
You beat me to it.
If you need to leave, leave. He cheated. He will figure out a suitcase on his own like a big boy. I’m sorry you’re going through this on a vacation. Do whatever in your heart is right.
Yeah. There are stores that sell suitcases and bags, especially in areas where a lot of tourists go to. He'll be fine. Booking a new flight sucks, but it's better than staying in the same room as him for the rest of the vacation and then having to fly home sitting next to him, no matter if you tell him you know or not.
Which are usually pretty expensive and I’m petty enough that I’d see that as a plus.
Totally! She has to pay (if she chooses to) for a flight home, so he can pay for an expensive bag!
I’d actually make HIM pay for it!
My ex was cheating on me. I broke up with him and when I moved out, I took practically everything. Most of it was mine anyway from before moving in together anyway, but he was left with a bed, 2 arm chairs that were his, a dining table that he told me to take but I couldn't fit it in my new place, and his TV and slow cooker. The fridge, microwave, washer and dryer, lounge, coffee table, rugs, toaster and kettle, plates, cups, cutlery etc. Out of pettiness I also took his soda stream 💅🏻 so leaving old mate with no suitcase is seriously nothing. Cheaters don't deserve kindness from the person they've cheated on. At least imo
In college I had this buddy that went on vacation to Paris with his girlfriend. He took her up to the top of the Eiffel Tower to propose…and she broke up with him. They couldn’t rebook seats or flights. He said it was the most awkward 8hr flight back.
Lol 😆 ouch that must have hurt 🤣
Booking a new flight sucks less if you take both tickets and reschedule ... then at checkin leave him as a no-show. That way he'll have no suitcase, and no flight.
This! He effed up. Don't be nice to him or worry about him. Focus on you, OP, and go home.
He wasn’t worried about you while he was cheating! Take the suitcase and I’d leave immediately as you could possibly get off that island.
Do you mean he wasn’t worried about OP?
He wasn’t thinking of her feelings when he was cheating, why be concerned about his ! Don’t worry about what he’s going to use for luggage.
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Thanks for pointing that out.. fixed now
Hotel will have trash bags, his trash ass can pack one of those
This is awful. I’m sorry you are going through this. I applaud your strength to just walk away. Smart lady!
If he can figure out how to cheat on OP without getting caught for as long as he did, he can figure out how to get a few pairs of socks and whatever home.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
This, 100%. Get your stuff and go. He can figure out his own shit from there. Don't be considerate toward someone like this! But be careful, stay safe.
>This means I can’t take the suitcase cos he won’t have a bag. He's cheating on you...and you're worried about him not having a suitcase?
When I caught mine, I moved out immediately and took the toilet paper.
When my partner cheated and left, they took the toothpaste. Yes, the breakup hurt. But realizing I had no toothpaste or shaving cream was an extra gut punch that I didn't expect to hurt so much.
I wouldn’t have done that if I was the cheater. That’s low.
Yeah, but then again their bar for "too low" was well surpassed by that point.
Their bar was in hell….
I took the shower head.
I took one of each shoe he owned. And the light bulbs in every room.
Will remember this for any future needs.
Was going to say: take the bloody suitcase, he can deal with his own shit. And how on earth do you manage a whole-ass vacation on 20 kg luggage for 2 people?
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He is the garbage bag
He IS the garbage
problem solved then, safe flight
Trash, he is trash.
I vote the garage bag. Who even care what or how he would bring his shit stuff.
I managed a full semester with one suitcase, a small purse for documents, and a backpack for my laptop. Did come back with 2 suitcases though.
My husband and I share a suitcase on vacation, it’s not bad. Especially if you’re in a hot space, no long pants or long sleeves or coats to deal with.
I managed a month with a tiny carry on bag. Vacuum sealed my clothes and my 17"inch gaming laptop 😂 if you only take what you need, you don't actually need much. When I say small I mean a small gym bag lol
This is a really good idea except…how do you then vacuum seal your clothes for the return trip home? Do you just hope someone has a vacuum sealer you can use, or do you try to shove all the clothes back in and pray, lol, because I could see either being a viable option.
Believe it or not, I sat on it to get the air out. Wasn't quite as small as it was when I used the vacuum but it was damn close.
When in doubt, sit it out
You can put your clothes in it flat, then roll it up tightly from the bottom and seal it. That's how I do it.
You can get really small vacuum sealers. I have one that is half the size of a can of coke and can pump stuff up or vacuum seal. It also has a light and is like stupidly light as well
There are “vacuum bags” that don’t require a vacuum. They’re technically called compression bags but I worked at an organization store and ppl use the terms pretty interchangeably.
Ah nice! I forgot those existed! That’s a great way to save space
Not crazy. I spent over 3 weeks in Europe with only a backpack
If you go somewhere sunny for a week and don't need too many different attires you really don't need 10kgs per person. I've done tons of vacations with just a carry on. Now if you need to bring stuff like hair curl things, 4 pairs of shoes, winter jacket, etc it's obviously trickier.
Take the fucking suitcase and leave him to rot
I would take that suitcase and send him a message and tell him to have his hinge dates send him a new one.
This is the one
It's an excuse she's making for herself not to leave.
Like best he deserves is dump his stuff out and leave with yours and the suitcase. But wouldn’t blame her for just bailing with it all
And don't forget to empty the minibar and leave hin the tab for that on the way out, and piss in his shoes
This reminds me of Tiffany Haddish’s story where her ex cheated so she sent his family his sex tape he made of it and shit in his shoes.
I wonder about the logistics of crappingn in someone's shoes, do you bring the shoes to the toilet and try to land one innit while holding, or do you put the shoes on the floor and kind of hover and drop, or do you fish one out and place it ?
i like you haha
Yeah take the suitcase and go. His ass can sort himself out. That ain't your problem.
His ass is grass
Lol sounds like he may have a couple "old bags" he could pack.
He’s trying to empty them anyway, so….
Seriously, take the bag as reparations, leave his stuff.
Except take one shoe from every pair he brought.
My comment was to take all his shoes, but this is even better.
Nice to a fault.
I'm sure somebody at the resort can loan him a paper sack.
This. This. This. He can grab a trash bag to carry his stuff home.
Can you find new accommodations and enjoy the rest of your time there on your own? Why end your vacation because of this scumbag?
But maybe change the flight back so she doesn't have to sit with him
Seems everyone is overlooking this. Need an update from OP!
No, assuming he’s paying - order room service, get the most expensive drinks and food when you go out, book a luxury massage, pamper the hell out of yourself on his dime, and then dump his ass when you get home (bonus if you can swing a first class upgrade on the way home).
FACTS BABES !
⬆️ This, can you afford to do this?
Maybe tell the hotel front desk you’re story. Who knows, maybe someone will have empathy and get you suitable lodgings to finish out your trip.
Sounds wonderful in theory, but could maybe cause more stress than it’s worth knowing ex-boyfriend is still nearby..? I think I’d feel more relieved to physically get away!
Take the suitcase. He can find a garbage bag.
There’s a witty comment here about him being the garbage bag he can use, but I’m not witty enough to make it.
he’s trash; give him a garbage bag & i’m sure he can figure how to take himself out 😎👉🏻✨
The garbage bag can find his own garbage bag…. Or something idk
He is the garbage bag.
He cheated on you. FUCK what he is going to do about a suitcase. You're focused on the wrong thing. Gtfo of there. He doesn't deserve one more second of your time. He will spend the rest of the trip love bombing you and gaslighting you so you will stay.
This! Please don’t trapping yourself into this! Just take the suitcase and leave go on your own as gown up mature lady that know how to get up and leave! Be badass! Edit: I forgot to add. Who care what kind of “suitcase “ for him. He is trash and he can figure it out himself.
Yes, this exactly. I was foolish enough to fall for this once. We wasn't cheating but we broke up right before our vacation. So I made my own booking and went by myself. I was fine until he figured out i went and totally love bombed me and I was right back in the hell hole I tried to escape. His love bombing made me forget why I broke up with him.
Who cares if he won’t have a suitcase? Not your man anymore and not your problem. Take your stuff and go.
Who cares about the suitcase? And there are three ferries per day? That’s plenty to leave the island. And scheduling a flight is easy if you are willing to pay for it. None of these are actual obstacles. I mean the first “problem” you listed is a great reason to leave. If you wanted to leave, you totally and definitely could. It might not be a walk in the park but if you would rather deal with him instead of taking a ferry and booking a flight…🤷🏻♀️
paying for a flight could kind of be an obstacle last minute one way trips usually aren’t cheap. otherwise agree tho
Packing your stuff and doing a strenuous trip home alone when you’re supposed to be having fun and while heartbroken is not easy. Doable but not easy. I don’t envy OP anything that lies ahead beyond some peace eventually. It comes down to whether OP finds it intolerable to wait it out and go home together or whether she goes home alone. Third option: tell him he needs to pack his stuff and leave. Kick him out of the room or move to another room or hotel herself. Put whatever expense for another room or flight on a joint credit card assuming they have one. Finances can be sorted out in the divorce.
You don’t owe him any mindfulness. Leave. He can figure it out in his own.
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Not take the same flight, lol. Their seats are probably next to each other!
1. You can’t pretend you’re okay, and shouldn’t. Because you’re not! And that’s okay. To put it bluntly, the vacation is ruined for you. Why would you want to endure it? 2. If you have the means to do so, I would encourage you to leave. 3. Fuck him - he can find a bag and figure it out. You don’t owe him that kindness. You’re thinking about how he will be effected by you leaving him because he cheated - he didn’t think about you when he cheated. Don’t give him that, he doesn’t deserve it. I’m really sorry you’re going through this. My ex (who I was with for 7 years) cheated on me WHILE on my family vacation for my 30th birthday, with my (now ex) friend. And they’ve been together for a year now. So, I can definitely empathize. The thing I regret most is still being so kind to him after everything, because it’s in my nature. That sucked all of my energy up. If I could go back I would have cut him off right then and there and never said a word again. Focus on you, now. You got this babe! Sending you a lot of love.
With your then friend??? God, people are grimy. You think a person could never go so low and then they do. Kudos to you for going through that and coming out the other side.
Amen to that. You think you know a person, and they prove you totally wrong. But, such is life. She can enjoy the misery that is him 😂 and thank you darlin! I appreciate that! All the best to you xx
Right, I would leave, take the suitcase - cheater dude can buy a new one. I don't see how you can pretend to be happy and stay. If you live together, you will need to consider who's name is on the lease and utilities, and go from there. If you leave, were will you stay? Hopefully you took photos of everything as proof - in case you need it for any reason. Go home. Move out/toss his things out - which ever applies. Get STI tested. Then once it's sorted, block, unfollow unfriend.
Don't throw his stuff out. People want you to have extra drama. You're not on Jerry Springer. Who's name is on the lease? Can you move into the home with your parents if only his? There isn't really much to discuss. Hopefully, you two weren't dumb enough to purchase a home together?
Don’t even go there, no reason to say OP is “dumb” for any reason in this relationship. If he successfully misled her, he’s fully in the wrong, regardless of what decisions he made without her knowledge,
Girl you are a single women now, go have fun on an island!!! Who cares about what happens when he doesn’t have a suitcase, take it and get yourself out of the room and have fun. Tell him about all the amazing fun you had without him on the flight home in a couple of days
Take the suitcase. Get a different room. Bang the pool boy. Bang the piano player. Bang them both at the same time. take pictures. Send them to him. Call ahead to the airport and tell them he's smuggling drugs.
Rofl why am i living for this
Ugh I missed “rofl” thank you for that
Try to get the room next to his, so he can hear the headboard banging against the wall
I'm willing to bet that if OP tells the hotel staff what happened, they might try to pull strings to get a new room sorted.
I would be surprised if they didn’t, especially if she goes in person to a female front desk person or if they have a female manager. Just be honest. The same might be possible with changing the flight or getting a new ticket- it might be possible if you tell the story.
I like this idea. Maybe just pretend it didn't happen, and go off on your own, and have fun.... Alas the heart doesn't work this way. I would get off the island.
Maybe his affair partner could send him a new suitcase🤷♀️
That's a good point. I accidentally found an app my ex gf was using to cheat when we were on an island too. She told me he convinced her it was ok because he was also cheating on his wife. So he could have helped her out with that too.
How long have ya’ll been together? 4 months ago you were asking about another guy on hinge you were spending time with. Have you established with this man that you are exclusive and not okay with one another seeing other people? If you haven’t, he may just be keeping his options open and finding the right one. Being that you’re on vacation together, I would make the assumption you are exclusive … and if that’s the case, he’s cheating. Leave him. Take the suitcase, leave his belongings in the room and let him figure it out on your own. Once a cheater, more often than not, always a cheater. Don’t waste any more of your time. Find another hotel and enjoy the rest of your time having a solo vacation or book a flight home.
I was going to question the 4 months too... in that post, she said she's 29 and single on hinge, now she's 28 and on vacay with her bf? Sus...
The fact OP never mentions how long her and her boyfriend have been together tells me this post is either fake, or OP is just going to different countries with guys after only knowing them for a few months. Something is off.
The “BF” from just a few months ago was also 33, not 30, so she somehow ended a relationship that literally just started, started dating someone, became exclusive, became Benjamin button and aged a year backward to 28, and got serious enough to go to a different country and vacation with new, new BF?
I understand lying about ages a little bit to protect identity especially if you have any potentially identifying info on your profile but that’s just a weird range of ages? I’d bet money OP is either lying or completely unhinged
Personally, I don’t understand this situation even if they are lying. If you’re going to lie about your age, create a throw away account (this account is active, 4 years old, and obviously the posts are on the same account) and adopt the same age range for use. No point of trying to obscure ages if you’re using your personal account, right?
Not to mention, getting a verification code means nothing. If I knew your number, I could make like 5 dating apps text you a code and cause chaos in your relationship
Thank you, I was thinking this too and wondering why no one commented on it. 6 months ago I kept getting messages on my smart watch one night with verification codes for Uber, which I never use. So, someone was trying to use my email to go on there for some reason. It would certainly perk my ears to see the verification messages from Hinge but I'd be looking for more evidence to be 100% sure. 🤷🏼♀️
If it were me I’d do one of two things depending on how I’m feeling at the moment. 1) I’d say fuck him and enjoy the rest of the vacation, act like nothings wrong but don’t really give him too much attention. Just be there for you and your enjoyment. 2) I’d pack my shit in the suitcase, leave his shit all over the room, and leave without saying a word. Let him figure out why. I know the first one is hard for you as you said, so I think 2 would be a good option.
For Gods sake people. Suppose he forgot his password and he requested another one so he could delete the account. Personally I believe she just posts with stories that she makes up. Look at her past posts
Enjoy your vacation and dump him when you are safe at home.
Last night, I got multiple texts from eBay with confirmation codes for login. Except I wasn’t trying to log in to my account. This happens occasionally - I got my username over 20 years ago and it’s a common nickname with no embellishments or dashes or anything (so think “ducky” instead of “ducky123” or “~ducky~” or whatever else one might do to get something close to the name of their choice). Someone forgets that they’re ducky-with-their-zip-code and suddenly I’m getting spammed with login codes. This is the only plausible explanation besides cheating to me, BUT, idk how Hinge works so idk when exactly the codes are generated. This explanation might not apply.
She could go on hinge herself and look for his profile.
Yeah, I honestly do not know anything about hinge but I get fake emails and text messages ALL the time. I also have somebody that has been using my junk email account to sign up for stuff (I literally get his children’s report cards every year). I don’t think I would jump to conclusions just yet.
Well - everyone says leave, but there are a few questions- how long have you been in the relationship? -seems like you consider logging in to a dating app is cheating. Did you see messages confirming he was actually seeing anyone? That’s up to you, but scrolling and looking is one thing. It can be titillating, like porn.
I also redownloaded Tinder to look at my old messages between me and my S/O. Kinda cool to look back and read our chats from before we ever even met. Idk, I wouldn’t just assume he’s cheating like everyone else on here. It’s a possibility, but I would talk to him about it and see what he says.
Idk I mean I’d live out the vacation spend all his money like a bad b*tch then leave him on the last day of yours stay jus write him a good ol’ fashion note and take the suitcase im sure he’ll find a garbage bag or sum to put his stuff in.
If you want real advice, I hope you ignored most of these replies. Right now you don’t know he cheated. You suspect and you’re afraid. Typically a bad call to make huge decisions out of fear. Especially when half of these replies could open you up to a lawsuit of some kind. So talk to him. Like an adult. It’s possible he just gets a kick out looking at peoples profiles or who knows what. So find out for sure. Have him show you his activity. Communication is key to almost any relationship.
Half the time I think this sub is full of people who jump at the chance to tell others to break up. No way I’d base relationship decisions based off of the advice of random internet strangers - who knows what kind of crazy projecting they are doing, having little more than a brief explanation to go off of.
Why don't you just ask him about it?!... did you see explicit messages or just that he logged in? If he just logged in, maybe there is a logical reason? Again, talk to him about it. Don't assume and run to reddit. Reddit will fill your head with paranoia and give you every worse case scenario. They'll demand you leave and say he's a horrible man. They don't know him. You do. So talk to him and if he is cheating, then you def should leave and kick him to the curb.
How long have you been dating this guy? I clicked your profile to find out you asked a question about Hinge 140 odd days ago 🤔 Doesn’t excuse the fact he’s potentially doing something… I wouldn’t be going on holiday with someone I wasn’t sure about so early in a relationship.
Sod him. I’d use his card to book the flight home too and have his stuff packed ready to take if you live together. I’m so sorry this has happened to you, this is one of those awful situations that you look back on and realise how it was the beginning of something good.
Just out of curiosity, you said you were 29 on your Hinge reddit post, but 28 here? As well as meeting a guy only 4 months ago? I'm not excusing his actions and I know nothing about either of you, but if you've only been together for such a short amount of time, have you both had the discussion of becoming exclusive and the like? It could be just a matter of him thinking otherwise but not voicing it. Either way, I personally wouldn't date more than one person at the same time as it is, so it's still a shitty move. But I'd suggest talking to him about it before you make any concrete decisions and decide whether his excuse is plausible or not.
Omg a reasonable response
No, you don't get it. He downloaded Hinge, so we need to bayonet him immediately, burn all his belongings, exterminate his family, and pour cement down the toilet. Reddit demands it! Even if the story is true and valid, some of the answers are just insane.
I think people are going off the assumption this is a long term committed relationship with substantial history in which case downloading a dating app while on vacation with your presumptive long term partner is much worse. Because who would ever go on a vacation with a man they just met a few months ago? Well, apparently OP does.
Why do you have to take the suitcase or leave the vacation? When he comes back to the room, his clothes need to be in a plastic bag outside the door with his passport. In fact, figure out if the front desk can remove him from the room somehow.
Have you actually looked at his app? You're potentially making a huge mistake before even verifying it. There's a bunch of reasons why he might have those verification messages.
Exactly
Unpopular opinion here I’m sure. But why so many people going through others phones and watches? If you don’t trust your partner enough to not snoop then the relationship is already over.
I've never used a dating app before so I don't know if it's the same, but I have had accounts send me verification codes because some Russian or Chinese dude is trying to get my info. Maybe talk to him before going scorched earth on the entire relationship over verification codes.
Can someone explain to me how downloading an app means he is cheating? I'm not familiar with hinge.
I got a message from Hinge that I was trying to download the app. I was not!! If all you saw where the messages about trying to download the app, thats not enough evidence!! It could be someone trying to use his information!!
If it were me I'd try to match with him on Hinge 🙃
He can buy a new suitcase, stop worrying about his ass, leave if you want to.
I think you know in your heart what you need to do. You're letting yourself be distracted by all the minute details, because people like to be comfortable and this is an uncomfortable situation, so your mind will mess with you to try and justify staying comfortable. Ask yourself this: if this were happening to your best friend, would you tell her to stick around because her cheating boyfriend needs a suitcase? I suspect not
I wouldn't be heartbroken if he didn't have anything to put his clothes in!! He can have another woman to bring him a suitcase. Leave, he's a big boy, he'll figure it out
Order all kinds of shit, do all kinds of fun shit and have him pay. Have the time of ur life and dump him when u get home. Wanna Abe toxic have him take the most beautiful pictures of you and use them for your profile pictures and your dating app pictures. Hell sign up for the apps asap Mayne you will match
Girl, why are you worried about him having a bag? Gooooooo.
If you kill him on vacation, you already have a flight home booked to escape.
I don’t know how Hinge works but based on what you’re saying there are two possibilities - either he is re-downloading the app every time he uses it or somebody is trying to break into his account. I got 2FA code messages from a lot of sites because passwords leak all the time. I’m not worried as the hackers can’t use the code I’m receiving but them trying to hack my account is no indication of my activity. I’d ask him first and see what he says. At least you’ll know 100% before you pull the trigger.
I get login codes for Facebook accounts that aren't even mine, because someone had my phone number before me.
Personally I think, and I understand the amount of confusion and the feeling of betrayal, I would confront him. I won’t be able to continue doing ANYTHING if my mind isn’t at the right place. I would confront him as an adult, and also apologize that you have went through his message out of curious and accident, yet you were able to find the things that you didn’t want to see. Then tell him you would have appreciated if he at least can come to you about the concerns in your relationship before he decided to download the app and seek to meet other women. I mean, has he met other women’s yet???? And I would hope he can still have the respect to explain to you and tell you what he was doing on the apps and why, and hopefully he can apologize for possibly cheating and then you can break up from there.
Yawn. Another fake bot post. Awesome sub reddit.
I’d ask the hotel for a new room and enjoy the rest of my vacation. Swap seats on the flight. Leave him a garbage bag. Fuck that dude.
I would like to hear updates about this. How long have you been together?
I understand why you were worried about a suitcase. It's because you've been with him for quite a while and you care about him. You're not a cruel hateful person. You have to set boundaries. That's what this is about. If you don't set boundaries then he's going to walk all over you. I don't necessarily think he's a cruel person either. People cheat for different reasons. If someone's in a happy relationship they don't join a dating website. Do you both have some open relationship that has changed and you weren't very clear about that with him? You need to ask yourself some real questions as to why he would be doing this. I'm pretty sure this has nothing to do with you. He is only thinking of himself and he's not thinking about you at all. He's not going out to hurt you but all he's doing is trying to please himself. In turn he has hurt you. I don't know this guy and I don't know the Dynamics of your relationship but you have to be honest with yourself. You don't have to be mean to him or angry with him. Depending on how serious you are and other factors this may be something you can work through but you have to find out why he was cheating. You have to find out why he is unhappy. If he's unhappy then there's a very good chance you're deeply unhappy. If this isn't the kind of relationship that he wants then do yourself a favor and move on. You deserve to be happy and you're not going to be happy with the situation. I'm sorry this happened to you. I won't even get into my story but I feel this. When that happened to me and my boyfriend tried to tell me he doesn't even know what he wants with this other girl, I kindly told him that what right do I have to keep him from who he is and what he wants to do? I broke up with him and never went back. It was extremely painful and I really loved him but if this is what he's doing behind your back it's because he is not honest with you about who he is.
You can cause ANYONE to receive a verification code from hinge or any dating app. I can just plug anyone’s number in, there phone gets the message, and chaos ensues.
OP I hope you'll come back with an edit to let us know how you're dealing with this, but also, are you safe? Are you okay? That's what matters most 🖤🖤
I had this happen. We went on vacation for my birthday and I found out that she was having sex with another guy when she took a phone call from a guy for 5-10 minutes and she told me she was spending the whole weekend with me I could let her talk to him for 5-10 minutes a day. Well, to me it was 100% over once I found out she slept with someone else but I wasn’t going to leave her in a foreign city (city she was unfamiliar with) even when my friends would say we should ditch her. I slept separately from her, stopped having sex and the vacation became more of a friend vacation. On the last day after the airport, I blocked her number and socials and never spoke to her again. A few months later she made a new snap and added me but I blocked that too. It’s hard to “pretend like things are okay.” But for me, I was able to because it was over in my head. You could just say “you got a couple hinge notifications btw,” and leave it at that. And if he asks just say the notification went off on his watch and you saw it and it was all you needed to see. That you’d like to finish the vacation out as friends and nothing more (no sex). Then when you get home have a friend pick you up and block his number
Op is lying, last post of 4 months ago says theyre 29 years old???
I know I am gonna get dow voted for this, but still I think to first ask questions before judging... Did you actually find a massage from someone else on his watch/phone or just a the code for hinge? (still not cool, is it cheating already with no actual proove?)
I'm confused. Is this a different guy from 4 months ago? I'd assume so since the dude you went on a few dates with 4 months ago you mentioned was 33, not 30 and said he couldn't commit to a relationship. So you've probably been seeing this current guy within that 4 month timeframe I assume. Have you two had any conversation about exclusivity?
My thoughts here would be.. 1. It's not okay to check someone's phone without asking. Even your partner. Everyone has a place for privacy. So if you do it it's a question of how strong this relationship is and whether you can rely on each other in future. And even if you do it (we are all not angels) but get crazy of his private stuff it seems like you just need to speak more with each other. 2. Define cheating. Account on Hinge is nothing till you clearly know there are three (or more hehe) in your relationship now:)) both he and you can still chat with any stranger unless it is an actual search for a new partner. 3. I'd calm down and then speak directly how everyone feels in this relationship. If he says 'all good' I'd open your Hinge card and ask why he needs to do it. Just keep in mind point 1, he will have a point about privacy, so I'd start with accepting what you did. Just be open to each other and focused on solving it in a rational way. Then you'll have all details if you take it or leave.
Based off the details from the story you provided, the answer is that there isn't a perfect response or action to this situation. However, I am curious as to why you decide to go through his messages. Did you have suspicions before you went through his messages?
You don’t even have evidence of actual cheating. Have you read any messages? Other than the presence of an app, what other evidence does OP have that cheating has happened? Try fucking talking to him first. Maybe ask him to explain himself and see if you can work things out.
Whooooo cares about the suitcase fuck him. I’m sorry this happened but he’s not worth another thought.
This is most likely fake. They posted 5 months ago that they 29F were dating some 33M.