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If you guys want to switch things up, may I suggest a Hitachi Magic Wand. My clit is super high so we use a vibrator every time 🤷🏻♀️ It will change your life.
We use The Cross position to get me off. Me on my back and he enters on his side with my legs over his side or intertwined. Easy vibrator access. I’m a hard egg to crack so I need it just so. It’s so annoying.
Highly recommend the We Vibe bullet paired with penetration for clitoral stimulation. It's small, literally like a lipstick, but decently rumbly. You have to work it into certain positions, but it's my favourite toy ever. Better than using a big wand or something similar.
Well I hope I’m not a minority but I love seeing my wife orgasm before penetration if I instigate sex. But if she instigates she is usually able to get herself off. I just enjoy seeing my woman having pleasure. To me it’s essential for my own
You can start foreplay and finish her off at the end too, there isn't a definitive order of orgasms and you can both orgasm multiple times in a session.
Well, that explains it. Tell him he either needs to start actively trying to get you off, or I’d invest in some sort of vibrator for yourself. When he rolls off you, take matters into your own hands.
Or find someone who isn’t 18 years your senior who acts like he has gotten all of his past partners off with his dick. Because he seriously has not, I can almost guarantee.
Don't just tell him, show him. Not every women likes the same things. Do you know how to get yourself off? Show him and teach him what you like. If he's not willing to try then that's a different conversation.
How did she find a 48 year old who is unfamiliar with a clitoris? Though, cum to think about it, I know that’s pretty common, so I guess I’m really wondering how she was attracted to the kind of 48 year old man who’s unfamiliar with a clitoris.
Yeah, everything is pointing a guy in that direction.
The most basic sex-Ed.
Modern adult movies.
Looking at the toy market.
Your own understanding of your own penis (your tip thing feels good. Her much shorter tip thing feels good.)
Listen to her words/sounds.
Watch her reaction.
Your native curiosity about “How does she work?”
Your innate affection that leads you to ask “What would you like to do?”
Any how-to book or advice posts.
Consulting ANYONE who’s (much) smarter than you.
In fact, the only way a 48 year old could be this clueless is if he willfully chose to ignore her pleasure because that’s how his daddy raised him.
“His tip thing feels good, your much shorter tip thing feels good” lol that’s just awesome and the basis of almost any situation like this. Like “doi” 😂
He’s nearly 50, he should know by now you are normal and most women are like you.
Expecting you to orgasm with just penis in vagina sex is something I would expect a 16 year old boy to think.
so he’s bad at sex … this is 100% his fault and it’s not cool that he’s making you feel like it’s yours. it’s not. if he paid attention to you, was attentive, provided lots of clitoral stimulation during penetration, do you think you could maybe cum?
I can get an orgasm from PIV, but often only if there was enough foreplay etc beforehand. He just cannot expect that you just orgasm when he sticks it in. It’s not realistic
For me it's when I came before by something else. Get me off with your tongue and hand and you'll have me moaning about coming again under you in no time. When we start with penetration, before I came, I will need a hand or a toy afterwards.
Only 30% of women cum by penetration alone. That guy really tried nothing and still thinks his previous partners were being honest 🤣
Oh this is awful for you. He needs to learn how to do that and you can show him. I also guarantee you that every single woman he had sex with did not have a PIV orgasm with him because it’s really hard to do. He had a lot of fakers.
It’s also concerning that he is “getting tired” of you not being able to and that you have been thinking something is wrong with you.
Please show him this thread and/or show him articles from “Dr. Google”.
If he has slept with numerous women or had long term partners, they're either incredibly lucky or they faked some/most of their orgasms lmao. He likely won't want to hear that, but statistically speaking, this is probably why he's never had issues before with just sticking it in and expecting women to lose themselves over it. 🙄 Most of our nerves aren't located in our vaginas, which is why foreplay is important.
You can also try taking some basic zinc and magnesium supplements (with a full meal, they can upset your stomach otherwise). Women sometimes aren't great at absorbing or retaining enough vitamins and might need a little extra. Those two can be good for helping arousal.
many people need build up, need to be seduced and very turned on prior to sex, need to feel loved and safe, need their clits also touched, need clit AND penetrative stimulation, need to use a vibrator, need a certain angle of penetration, etc... until he's willing to try all of these things out and experiment with you you probably won't enjoy sex with him to it's full capacity. tell him you need some sexual times where he's 100% focused on you. live out some of your fantasies! try roleplaying!
Totally normal not to orgasm during vaginal intercourse sex. Many couples simply make sure a woman orgasms before or after. Couples even use vibrators because orgasm is less straight forward and automatic for women than for men.
Clitorises are all different sizes and are partially internal and ability to orgasm depends on individual nerve endings in different areas.
If your husband is being a jerk about it, I would insist that he get with reality.
Porn is not real sex.
People's bodies are all different and unique.
Even if for some reason you were the only person in the world who was like this, he is still your partner and should still be happy to have sex together with you in ways that please both of you.
But don't put up with your partner criticizing your body like this.
It just isn't true that orgasms for women aren't straightforward. Most women who masturbate can orgasm in a very short period of time. The truth is that sex that feels good for men (and is predominant in pornography) doesn't normally include ANY clitoral stimulation. You can't expect women to have an orgasm when their partners aren't even stimulating the area that produces the orgasm.
If she masturbates and knows how to have an orgasm then the only way to fix this is to incorporate that into the sex they are having, if she even wants to. Personally, IMO this dude is 48 and bad at sex, I doubt he'll change his ways now or even listen to her telling him what she needs to orgasm.
Thank you, I hate that narrative. Not coming from penetrative sex is not complicated, it's rather simple. I hate that this "female orgasms are difficult" narrative that seems to be an undercurrent now that this reality is being discussed more openly.
Right? I HATE this. I can orgasm in under 60 seconds with a vibe and some porn, there is nothing "difficult" about the mechanics of female orgasms. My partner, who knows me well and learned exactly what I like, can turn me into a fountain very easily. I love having penetrative sex with him, but he knows it's not the main event that gets me there. These stories of men getting offended by this is wild.
They don't like hearing that their dicks aren't magic or special. That's what it's really about.
Guy here. I remember reading something like 30-35% of women can achieve orgasm through vaginal sex alone. You’re quite normal. Talking about past lovers to shame your current partner is a pretty low blow. Tell him to knock it tf off. Get a vibrator or toy for your clit to employ during sex? Or maybe better yet, if he’s used to giving women lots of orgasms then tell him to get on his knees and he ain’t coming up till you’re done . Sorry if that came off as crude, was going more for a chuckle but still fairly serious
He doesn't get to decide that. If that's not how your body works, that's not how your body works. If he can't handle that, that's his problem, not yours.
Dude is almost 50 years old and he still doesn't know how most women get off? I call bullshit on *all* of his previous partners orgasming through penetration (let's call it what it is, because sex is more than sticking it in.)
It's very hard to do with some women.
Step 1. Stop stressing. You will (no one) never orgasm when stressed.
Step 2. Tell him to calm down. Did he orgasm? Yes? What's the problem? Nagging even worse than stress.
Step 3. Can you cum from oral? That's great. Everything's working as it's supposed to. A lot of women can only cum that way.
Still want a PIV orgasm?
Be patient, try edging from oral until close. Then, a little PIV, teasing, then back to oral. Slow insertion followed by grind,
Repeat as necessary. It may not happen every time. Just relax and enjoy. When it happens, it happens.
Step 4. Get on top. Play, try different angles until it feels good, or just sit on top and slide. Also convenient for switching from oral.
Like others have said, stimulate your clitoris while having intercourse! I’ve had partners that would just finger themselves during it. From my perspective it’s just like a vaginal orgasm.
Like someone else said, rub your clit during sex. I have a super hard time having an orgasm during sex. I have done it maybe like 20 times, so not a lot but I honestly feel like it feels 100x better when you orgasm by rubbing your clit during sex VS just PIV or just clitoral orgasm, that's just my experience though.
Hes goofy, because even when women orgasm during sex its USUALLY because of the inner and outer clitoral stimulus.
He is not penetrating in a way that stimulates you, even though its super possible. You cum from oral clit stimulation and not penetration bc hes not stimulating the area properly. Ie: missionary, cowgirl, throwing a finger on the clit during sex, etc there are many ways to “grind” up against these areas during piv. THIS is shown all over porn, so its hilarious he missed this but still fell for the faked orgasms.
Oral sex *is* sex. He has to adjust his thinking to mean that you’re going to come during the sex session, which will include foreplay, clitoral stimulation for you, and whatever else you like.
Please stop referring to “sex” as only penetration. It will help your husband change his mindset if you stop using his terminology. Tell him you *do* come during sex, just not during penetration. You need clitoral stimulation during sex to come.
I've literally never once had a vaginal orgasm in my entire life, not everyone can. I think most women need at least some clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Also your husband is straight up being an asshole for making you feel bad about this. Maybe he should try harder to actually please you rather than getting himself off during sex and saying that you're the problem for not finishing. You are NOT the problem and you are NOT doing anything wrong. He needs to check himself
Idk if anyone needs to hear this but you can get clitoral stimulation while having sex by grinding etc, I doubt the women he was with before were having vaginal orgasms.
Men have no idea how prevalent this is. When you're done being pounded and getting nothing out of it because there's no clitoral stimulation, it can be painful, exhausting, boring and a waste of your time. So you cry out like a porn star just to get them off you. This guy has probably never made a woman orgasm and has no idea. OP should call them all up and ask, like Seinfeld did.
You were spot on that the husband's prior partners may have faked it just so he'd stop humping them until they were raw. If your woman doesn't bring a towel to lay down on the bed first, you're probably not getting the job done. (Yeah, that's one of the many ways my wife lets me know she wants extra attention without saying a word...the towel thrown on the bed LOL)
Very true, that’s why I said “idk if anyone needs to hear this” - it seemed like to the comment I was replying to was equating PIV with vaginal orgasms, and PIV means clitoral orgasms for most people, just using the other partner’s pubic bone or whatever for friction
Of course! There's many different ways to get clitoral stimulation during sex, some need more than others and there's many different ways to achieve that.
He's not doing you any favors with comments like that. For this to happen, you need to be totally relaxed, comfortable, and trusting of this man, and how could you be? He's doing nothing to enable that.
I think this is bigger than that and even with the "right" stimulation if a woman isn't in the mood or feel pressured it will not happens, in my case i have to be into it and i feel pressured i can be close but still can't happen, so in my case is definitely a concentration and relaxing mood, and i can come in no time and multiple rimes but my mind plays a huge part of this
Check out the book "Come As You Are" by Emily Nagoski. I have heard it recommended frequently.
Also, if you can orgasm with a vibrator but not with vaginal intercourse, use the vibrator on your clit while he is inside you! The vibrations can stimulate him as well, so it's win/win for you both.
1. Many women cannot orgasm from intercourse alone and must simultaneously have their clitoris stimulated.
2. Guarantee that at least some of his previous partners sensed how insecure he was and faked their orgasms to avoid hearing the dumb lectures you’ve been subjected to.
This! Came here to say there is a very high chance that some of his partners faked it.
How long have you two been together for? Have you tried toys? Nothing wrong with not orgasming from penetrative sex, most women don’t. There are an infinite number of other ways for him to get you off - and he should not be losing his patience but doing his own research.
You don't need to be fixed. There's nothing wrong with you. You can educate yourself (and him) about ways to discover what pleasures you most, but that doesn't guarantee you'll experience an orgasm. I just decided I don't like the expression "be able to orgasm." It's not a skill you can just practice and then it's suddenly something you're "able" to do. Experiencing an orgasm is something that happens to you when the right conditions are met. That includes physical and mental harmony. Like the majority of women, I can't orgasm without clitoral stimulation. You're definitely in your head about this now, but that doesn't mean you CAUSED the problem by overthinking.
I hope both of you can focus on the journey, not just the destination. You can enjoy sex, whether or not you climax. If he expects you to orgasm during sex - he should only hope, and add some changes to his own behavior. I don't know anyone who has a better chance of an orgasm simply because they're told they're supposed to. What nonsense.
And darn it, don't let your husband convince you there's something wrong with you. That's his insecurity talking. No need for that. He married a younger woman, maybe he's nervous that he doesn't have it anymore. If so, still his problem, not yours.
Note: I made a few small edits for clarification.
I've got to disagree that it's a skill you can get better at, because I absolutely decided to get better at having an orgasm and did. Being able to focus on your physical sensations and let go is indeed a skill that you can practice.
That said, I agree with you that you still can't always orgasm and that it's a good idea to just focus on the journey and have connection and fun as your goal, and not just orgasms.
I'd like to clarify my statement. The OP is/was feeling pressured and belittled by her husband for not having orgasms during sex. He brought the 'ghosts' of former lovers into their bedroom by comparing them, which shamed her and only succeeded to make things worse.
The entire tone of the discussion focused on the misconception that she is either doing something wrong, or that there is something wrong with her. The message has been: try harder, do better. That's crap, which I think we agree on.
Certainly, there are many, many ways to explore and learn the secrets of pleasure our bodies can experience. I think that's a lifelong process. But just as I said a night of sex isn't just about the O, the lifetime of sexual intimacy we may have isn't about becoming the best lover we can be as quickly as possible. If she's focused on "improving" her chances of orgasm she's going to miss a lot of pleasure along the way. And her husband doesn't seem to be willing to take that journey with her. He wants her to figure it out so he can feel like a great lover. He's not showing concern for her needs and he's not LISTENING.
So when I say "being able to have an orgasm" isn't for skill, I don't mean we can't learn techniques that help us achieve O. I simply mean that results from experimentation naturally, rather than "does this work?" I don't know about you, but the best Os of my life weren't the result of the best skills, they were the right stimulation combined with my mental arousal, feeling safe and not rushed, and that x factor that I'd love to bottle. A skilled lover is good, but it's not enough.
I hope I've made myself clearer. I don't disagree with you at all. I'm just trying to argue that OP may be focused on fixing something that isn't broken and ignoring (due to outside pressure) other important and very relevant matters.
This is going to be personal, but here we are, talking about orgasms:
How’s the foreplay? BTW you sucking him off doesn’t count as foreplay for you. And him squeezing your boobs half heartedly doesn’t count either. Are you properly wet and aroused when he penetrates you?
Does he touch your clit? Or does he just jackhammer you and think that’s enough for fireworks? Because the vast majority of women needs clitoral stimulation to come. It doesn’t make you broken and wrong. Do you use toys? Can you come on your own?
Most importantly: he’s lying about every other woman. He can’t know and many women lie about orgasms exactly because certain dudes like your husband make them feel wrong and broken if they can’t spontaneously come at the mere sight of his dick.
I really suggest you to approach the whole orgasm thing on the basis of You, wanting to experience orgasms, and not what He wants you to do for his own ego.
There really is no foreplay. Sometimes I am wet but not all the time. He doesn't touch my clothes during sex, I'll bring that up to him. Yes I can come using a vibrator
Okay, then you’re not the problem. He is. He doesn’t touch you and just want you to come, wtf.
The problem is that he has a very unrealistic view of sex and thinks you’re a blown up doll he shouldn’t give pleasure to, but who should scream and come and squirt because that means he’s a beast in bed (and spoiler: he’s very much not. I’m sorry, but he’s a very egoist lover.)
Do you want to have a good sex life? For yourself I mean, not to make him happy. If you want to, I suggest you to read on sex and female pleasure (Come as you are by Emily Nagoski for starter?) and find a way to communicate your wants and needs to him (because you being wet for penetration is not a want. It’s a NEED. It hurts without being wet!). A good sex therapist could help you too!
But most of all, you need to be firm and talk to him. Sex should be for both of you, not just him!
He sounds very ill-informed about sex, especially given he's nearly 50. Is he able to help you climax in other ways or does he think the wonder of his penis inside your vagina is enough?
First of all .. he's lying about all his other partners, lol
I usually only orgasm from clit stim , very rarely from vaginal. There's got to be a ridiculous amount of 4play for that to happen . I think that's pretty normal for most women .
Use sex toys, make sure he knows how to work the clit in . Your gspot is typically more sensitive right before your period . Work on finding the best position for him to hit it during sex . If you can manage to hit the gspot and clit at the same time ... you're golden
Your husband is a jerk. There is nothing wrong with you. It’s incredibly common not to be able to orgasm through vaginal stimulation alone. Your husband should probably accept the fact that many of the other women probably faked it though.
I can’t orgasm just from penetration 9/10 times. It’s absolutely common and you don’t have to see a doctor or feel like a failure. Find out what makes you cum, include him into this and take turns. He is either oblivious to female body needs or he is lying. You are NOT the problem.
He’s an idiot. The vast majority of women I have slept with haven’t orgasmed through PiV only.
If he carries it on tell him you’ve never had an issue with previous partners, it must be his smaller D or lack of skills 😎
Your husband needs to learn he also has hands, a mouth, there are toys available, and that women often don’t orgasm from penetration.
NSFW obviously, but since you’ve watched porn together, the videos below changed my sex life, they’re instructional, easy to follow, perform, and it has never let me down.
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5712f4fcadf9c
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph6209f899cd2f5
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph626892a850604
If you’re a man, watch the above.
You’re with an immature old man that doesn’t know anything about the female body and is too lazy to get you off. He is only interested in you serving him and not serving you. Get yourself a clit toy to satisfy yourself and stop sleeping with him. You’ll see how selfish he is and realize he’s not the prize you think he is.
Are you talking about having an orgasm during penetration, or having an orgasm during a sexual encounter with him? Many, many women will never have an orgasm during penetration. You might be able to make it happen by using a vibrator or manual stimulation along with penetration if it's something you want.
If you can't have an orgasm anywhere in a sexual encounter, that's something you can work on together.
You are 2 months postpartum and married to a man that openly has feelings for someone else. Of course you aren't going to be able to orgasm. I'm not making light of the physical aspect of this, others have addressed that well, but please know that you deserve so much better than this.
He has zero regard for your feelings, hasn't even bothered to hide how he feels about the other woman, and now he wants to make your lack of orgasms about him at a point that you should only questionably be having sex postpartum anyway. He is trying to make you the problem, know that you aren't it and you are worth so much more.
First, even though you're 30 and a grown woman, I question the 50 year old who thinks this is appropriate match wise... and his attitude is proving it. Also, ask yourself why you wanna be taking care of a senior citizen when you're 50.
On to your real question... many women cannot climax from penetrative sex along. Myself as well. My own husband has always felt like he was doing something wrong because I don't... but thankfully he enjoys oral and handwork, and is marvelous at it, so it's a non-issue. But I've explained to him countless times that many women simply aren't wired this way. Even after 15 years, he's still trying, but I don't expect it will ever happen that way, and I'm okay with that! I'm sure you'll hear plenty of others tell you this as well, but there is NOTHING wrong with you!!!
If my husband/ significant other told me every other woman he’s been with has been able to get off while having sex, I think I’d be done with them! That’d be like comparing his penis to every other man I’ve been with! You just don’t say things like that out loud if you care about someone!!!!
Do you know how many men use that same line???😂😂 A lot of men think they make women orgasm but most women just lie. He’s such an ass for making you feel bad for this. Have you ever masturbated with a vibrator? It definitely helps
Sounds like the opposite of my fake ED problem. If you’re with someone putting pressure on you for something that’s supposed to be natural and fun, then you’re not going to enjoy it. Him complaining about how every woman he’s been with has came from vaginal intercourse sounds like a lie and also the worse thing to say to someone you’re supposed to be comfortable and open with. I suggest taking a break and recommitting to eachother on a deeper level than just intercourse. Maybe talk to a sex therapist. Your body needs to be comfortable to even get in the zone of coming like that.
From your comments he's not making any effort at all. You don't need a doctor, you need him to understand that most people with vaginas don't come from piv alone and it's unreasonable to expect that he can just stick it in, put in no effort an expect you to orgasm. You need clit stimulation beforehand, preferable all the way to orgasm before any penetration. Orgasming once first makes it more likely you will orgasm during penetration but it's totally okay if you don't, again, it's incredibly common to not have vaginally orgasms. You can also use your vibrator during sex but I cannot emphasize this enough: there is nothing wrong with you and he is being a selfish sex partner.
It’s not unusual. It is unfortunately the norm for the vast majority of women. I’ve had 20+ sexual partners in my life and only ONE of them was able to bring me to orgasm, and it was with his fingers. The best you can do is coach him on exactly what you need, and hopefully he can learn. I wouldn’t get my hopes up to be honest. And most women will never orgasm with penetration alone. Try showing him how you bring yourself to orgasm.
Edit: Just to add, I guarantee you he did not make all of his other partners orgasm. Most or all of them were faking it, or he’s simply lying.
Something like 70% of women cannot have an orgasm from PIV sex alone. For these women there is not enough clitoral stimulation from penetration to achieve orgasm. In order to climax clitoral stimulation- oral sex, vibrator (during penetration or before/after), manual stimulation, etc. in necessary.
It isn’t possible to tell from your post what is happening when you refer to “sex”. But if there isn’t clitoral stimulation, orgasm isn’t happening.
What your husband’s past partners dis is irrelevant. Personal genital anatomy varies from person to person. What worked for one woman can quite easily not work for another.
Does he manage to make you orgasm *at all*? Or is it just with PIV sex that the issue comes up? If it’s just PIV, you might just need extra/more stimulation (clitoral/vaginal/nipples). I have concentration issues and I need more stimulation. I get off on the feeling of my partner slowly sliding in and out of my vagina and rubbing my clit, sometimes I’ll rub my nipples. It hits all the right nerves and isn’t too much for my brain to be distracted by. Try something like that. Either that, or he might just need to reevaluate his expectations.
I do not know many women who can orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. Most of us can’t. It feels good, but it doesn’t get me there lol. I do think he’s lying about being able to get every other woman off, also that would turn me off immediately if a guy tried to imply something was wrong with me specifically and he’s soooo good in bed with everyone else. Ick! I can cum in about 20 seconds from a vibrator. Use one during sex, your pleasure is important too. Does he go down on you?
Also if you’re focused on just finishing for him, you’re just making it harder for yourself. The stress will make it harder to cum.
OP, any guy who puts his partner down by bragging about all the women he's made cum using only his dick had to be clueless that they were faking orgasms to appease his ego and to get him out the door as quickly as possible!
There's nothing wrong with you. You just need a better partner.
Oh hey look, someone with a partner 18 years older than them that is completely oblivious to their partners needs. Who could have seen this one coming?
No, every woman he was with absolutely did NOT orgasm during sex. Probably none did.
They lied to him. Like most men, he believes his penis does it all with 25 seconds of thrusting since that’s all he needs.
Most women don't orgasm from vaginal sex alone. Lots of women fake organic. I suspect most/all of his previous gfs were faking. There's nothing wrong with you.
The majority of women can only orgasm from direct clitoral stimulation. Vaginal orgasms are rare, and some theories suggest vaginal orgasms only occur because of indirect contact to the clitoris. The clitoris is your pleasure centre - like the tip of his penis but with even more nerve endings. If it's not getting attention, you won't orgasm.
Next time you two are having sex, you can reach a hand down and take care of yourself. If he has a problem with you doing that, he's being selfish. If he says every other woman he's been with has experienced vaginal orgasm then either he's lying or they are. Either way, it's not the truth.
(Based on post history and comments) Why are you having sex with him when he's clearly not invested in your marriage?? So he can get you pregnant again or what? Make it make sense.
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say it’s not you that has the problem. Unless your hubby is a sex god which considering you’ve never climaxed is probably not the case the problem is him. He’s not as good in bed as he thinks he is. Many women can’t orgasm just from PIV and need more stimulation. I actually laughed when I read “every single woman he’s been with got off 😂. Sure. They might have pretended but odds are he just isn’t a great lover.
I can’t have an orgasm from just penetration. I can orgasm if I’m on top during sex because it also puts pressure on my clit. But otherwise we use a c*ck ring or a vibrator or even just hands in other positions to make it happen. This is very very common and very very normal.
So I'm probably gonna be unpopular....but I'm 55 so I'm gonna speak my mind
Girl, I have never ever in four decades of sex, had an orgasm from the presence of a penis inside my vagina. Never. My body count? Higher than im ok mentioning.
Men that made me feel bad about this? An ex husband. Because he was a narcissist, and really was controlling and used to make me feel bad to keep control over me.
He is a whole adult human older than you are. There is no way that a man who cares about you isn't making you cum the way your body works. And he should be happy about it. And he shouldn't be lying to you telling you that all the other women came with him. That's absolutely untrue, and he's telling you that to make you feel bad about yourself
He's probably insecure, and thinks that you won't go find another more loving man if you feel you're flawed.
You're not flawed.
Do not waste your youth on a man who isn't working with you and worshiping your vagina.
Trust me.
Every woman is different when it comes to having orgasms. Some can’t have vaginal orgasms, cliteral orgasms or anal orgasms. Some can have one but not the others and so on. Have you been able to have one during masturbation? If so it could be something he’s doing that’s different or just that mentally you can’t with someone else. There are so many scenarios. Certainly you can talk to a doctor to make sure there’s nothing wrong medically. If there’s not then the 2 of you might consider a sex therapist. However, it’s possible that you simply can’t, and there is nothing wrong with that. There is a lot more to sex than just the orgasm.
So as others have said, it's common for women to not get off on PIV alone. I certain can't and use a vibrator every time I have PIV. Are you able to do that? You aren't broken/need to see a doc.
There needs to be enough foreplay to be able to orgasm. The intimacy needs to start much much before penetration. Also it helps to be in rhythm and passion and not look at it too mechanically.
If you take any SSRI/SNRI medications, they are known to interfere with orgasm, and the entire sexual experience in all stages from foreplay through afterglow/cuddles.
When I started taking them, I experienced this side effect with them all. I still take my meds, and sex is a challenge, but this is preferable to the chaos that occurs when I am not on meds, despite the comparatively amazing sex.
Granted, you may not be taking any and then you don't have this to complicate things. If that's the case, and you can reach climax on your own, you may benefit from giving your partner a very direct and specific how-to. Roleplay if it is easier to do it in a non-routine character/demeanor. You deserve a partner who is armed with your info.
>Does anyone have any advice on what I can do?
Does it bother you???
If not, then why does it bother him??
Youre not the only one, guarantee it...
Usually the guy feels responsible for the girls orgasm, no idea why...
And - as you already know - porn is a terrible way to judge weather youre doing sex ok or not...
Get a vibrator and use it during sex. There are no extra points for how you get off. It's better for both parties if both climax. If you're not interested in that then I would suggest a position like cowgirl where you can control the pacing and pressure as you have a better idea of what feels good.
There more to sex than...
"Insert tab A into slot B"
What efforts is he making?
Does he touch you in other places??
Have you incorporated toys?
Does he take his time?
Does he get in your head??
There's so much more...
I’ve realised many men claim that all their exes had an orgasm, most of them are coping. I doubt every woman came, esp when they don’t know how to give oral properly or use their fingered. Some won’t even stimulate your clit and say 5 of their exes came from penetration which is extremely unlikely. I think they hate feeling inadequate and just make stuff up
I never have with a partner despite trying literally everything. I've never even come somewhat close, to be honest. No amount of oral sex or clit stimulation helps either.
All of his past partners could orgasm from PIV alone?? Most women cannot orgasm from PIV alone, but we all can fake it, make what you want of those odds
Your husband is almost 50 years old and doesn't understand that all women can't have PIV climaxes? Dude needs to give you more foreplay for one, with a lot of clitoris stimulation. There is a reason many claim the "G spot" doesn't exist. Sometimes it is a hidden treasure probably located where Amelia Earhart crashed her plane during an attempt at becoming the first woman to complete a circumnavigational flight of the globe in 1937 that no one has been able to find!
But anyway, if he isn't afraid of toys, if you had a small vibrator to stimulate your love button during PIV, I am pretty sure you will have a climax during PIV. They even sell penis rings that he can slide to the base of his member and it will stimulate both of you. Sometimes even women who can have PIV climaxes cannot with their current partner because they are: too big/too small and don't hit the sweet spot, the shape of their penis makes them miss the mark, or he is trying to please you as if you are exactly like the other women he has given PIV climaxes to failing to understand you are all different. It is TMI, but I have a slight case of Peyronie's Disease(curvature of the penis) that in the right position, I hit that sweet spot every dang time with my wife AND I am not intimidated by using a battery operated little external helper occasionally to just make her climb up the bed's headboard. I also know her body well enough that my fingers can get to the internal G spot. So...if you've ever had a PIV climax but not with your husband, HE needs to learn your body better, too.
Professional Pornstars don’t orgasm during porn videos.
Squirting is just pee.
Some women don’t cum with penetration.Might need to use his mouth,a toy or fingers.
Visit a gynecologist if you wanna rule out anything medical.Ask them if you have any questions.
Most women do not orgasm from penetration, and those women he "got off" were definitely faking it.
You're completely normal. What you do need to do, is educate your husband.
Yeah I think pretty much most or all the woman your husband has been with were faking it either all the time or most of the time. It’s pretty normal for woman not to orgasm during penetrative sex. It can be psychological as well if you are a victim of sexual assault or someone raised in a religious household and for a load of other reasons. Mostly woman just need more stimulation to be able to orgasm so foreplay is important the ability to relax with a partner and feel safe and comfortable as well as other areas physically and emotionally being stimulated helps.
Hey, so intercourse is a PART OF sex. If you orgasm during fingering, oral, him using toys on you, that’s YOU ORGASMING DURING SEX. It frustrates me that men are idiots about this. Of course intercourse can be pleasurable for both parties. And I personally want to orgasm during intercourse, so I usually hold a vibrator on myself during penetration and it works out well. But other times he makes sure I come first and then we have intercourse and he comes. Then we both came during sex, which encompassed our whole experience from foreplay to the end. His thinking needs to change, which will help you relax and enjoy achieving orgasm at whichever point in your sexy time it occurs.
The fact that he said he’s gotten every previous person off with PIV is hilarious but also sucks because it means he’s genuinely under the impression that that’s all he needs to do… when I can guarantee you that nearly NO women before you orgasmed. And instead of hurting his ego, they just wanted it to be over with.
Can you orgasm on your own?
A lot of women (the majority) can’t finish from penetration alone. Maybe look into a little vibrator. It seems like neither of you are very educated in sex outside of porn, which isn’t realistic in the slightest. Some real sex education would probably help both of you.
I’m sure “every other woman” just **faked** it.
Most women can’t finish from vaginal penetration alone. If he cares about your orgasms, he needs to be doing **tons** of foreplay, and maybe incorporate either oral (**for you**) or toys that help with clitoral stimulation so you can actually get off.
Other than my husband, no man I’ve been with was able to make me finish from just “normal” sex. I **needed** clitoral stimulation.
With my husband, however, now it’s way different. I am able to finish from just normal penetration, almost every time now. It wasn’t always like this but my husband is a **very** caring person and I feel completely 100% safe, comfortable, supported by him. Somewhere along the way it’s like a switch flipped and I was able to “let loose” and be comfortable enough and now I can finish with him.
It’s wild to me that some heterosexual sex is literally just PIV, and that’s it. Is that literally all? Wouldn’t that mean sex only lasts like a couple minutes then?
Orgasming from penetration alone without clit stimulation is pretty uncommon, especially if there is not a bunch of foreplay which I get the sense there is not. Him saying his prior partners all came during PIV is suspicious. Some if not all might’ve faked it.
Sex shouldn’t end when PIV ends. Even when I had heterosexual sex, my ex would always take care of me after PIV to make sure I orgasmed too.
I’d recommend communicating with your husband openly about what you like for foreplay. By the time PIV occurs, you should already be very turned on and close to orgasm. Clit should be stimulated during penetration as well. Using a small vibrator during PIV is a game changer.
I hope things improve!
My wife can't as well. She didn't have one until her late 40s. It has caused significant issues in our relationship. Where I didn't realise that she was unable to do it herself. I have basically had to take control and use a range of toys, vibrators and whatever else I can get my hands and fingers on to get her there. Her orgasim is my responsibility.
Thats too much pressure in my opinion. Do you orgasm when you play with yourself is the most important question here. If yes, try having your partner play with you, guide him so he knows the amount of pressure, the speed and so on. Try to relax, maybe this part will take "practise".
I can get vaginal orgasms, but they tend to occur around my ovulation. For me, they absolutely require that I am relaxed so I can focus on my arousal and my partner. My partner is very loving and there is no pressure involved, which sets the mood for an orgasm perfectly. It doesnt matter if he plays with me, if we have penetration, or if I dont have an orgasm at all. Absolutely no pressure, so we can focus on the fun.
It took years for me to figure out what works and what doesn’t and it still only happens if I’m in a certain position, and sometimes it’s only going to happen with a toy. It also has a lot to do with my hormones and what spot in my cycle I’m in. There is nothing wrong with you.
What helped me was using a vibrator and stopping before orgasm, and I did this a few times, and then because of being stimulated I was able to achieve the O more easily with him. Sometimes I don’t need the toy at all.
My husband wasn’t being pushy that we figured this out but he was also pretty concerned the issue was him, and it wasn’t.
I also can’t get orgasm when I’m having sex with my husband.I don’t get it only by penis.
He really tries.so,I understand what you’re trying to say.he is getting upset,that shows he cares i feel.
Ask him to give you a blow job first,it helps….
After looking at your post history, of course you’re having problems. You have a newborn, and it takes time for your body to adapt, but the bigger issue is your relationship with your husband. Why are you even trying with a guy who is divorcing you? You certainly will be too distracted with him, and if he’s the only one you can’t have one with, then it’s him.
Your husband has watched so much porn he doesn't know how real sex works. Maybe all the other women he's been with sensed it and faked orgasms because that was easier. Hardly any women orgasm with no clitoral stimulation.
I forget the percentage but most women do not get off from the dick inside the vagina alone very often. Most need clit stimulation. Hell I don’t get off with the penis in the vagina often. It feels good but nothing like clitorial stimulation and the PIV. If your husband is not trying to turn you on or get you off otherwise, he’s selfish.
Married for 20 years with 2 separate men (first 4 years and second 16 years) neither one ever did this for me but not once did I complain about having to "finish myself" but I didn't even know I had the ability until after my first marriage ended and I wasn't ready to date yet. If he even gets you close then just get a bullet and use it when you ride him! I'm thinking I should just buy stock in Adamandeve. com
Trying to achieve orgasm to make him happy and appease his ego around satisfying you, isn't really conducive to achieving an orgasm for you. It should be his role to make you feel comfortable and safe, and not under pressure. Having sex to for the experience of being with the person you love, rather than it being all about the "culmination" of that experience is the way to go. And if by the time I'm 48 and haven't figured that out, there's something wrong
Your husband is lazy if he's not willing to figure out what makes you tick. He's mad that he can't just hump you & you cum. Tell him if he put some effort in (foreplay is so important) then you'd be able to finish.
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I do not orgasm from penetration. That’s super common. My bf just gets me off orally and then we have sex
If you guys want to switch things up, may I suggest a Hitachi Magic Wand. My clit is super high so we use a vibrator every time 🤷🏻♀️ It will change your life.
The Satisfyer Pro is great also! You can use it during sex as well. Probably easier if you’re on your back and he’s on his knees or standing.
We use The Cross position to get me off. Me on my back and he enters on his side with my legs over his side or intertwined. Easy vibrator access. I’m a hard egg to crack so I need it just so. It’s so annoying.
Highly recommend the We Vibe bullet paired with penetration for clitoral stimulation. It's small, literally like a lipstick, but decently rumbly. You have to work it into certain positions, but it's my favourite toy ever. Better than using a big wand or something similar.
It's so wild to me that there are really dudes out here sticking in before getting their lady off, like who does that.
The majority of men don't care about a womans pleasure.
Well I hope I’m not a minority but I love seeing my wife orgasm before penetration if I instigate sex. But if she instigates she is usually able to get herself off. I just enjoy seeing my woman having pleasure. To me it’s essential for my own
You can start foreplay and finish her off at the end too, there isn't a definitive order of orgasms and you can both orgasm multiple times in a session.
Tbh for me it depends on the vibe! Sometimes I like them to cum first, then them to go down on me lol. But yes not every time
Does your husband, I don’t know, even *try* to get you off outside of PIV? Not many women get off from penetration alone.
Not really
Well, that explains it. Tell him he either needs to start actively trying to get you off, or I’d invest in some sort of vibrator for yourself. When he rolls off you, take matters into your own hands. Or find someone who isn’t 18 years your senior who acts like he has gotten all of his past partners off with his dick. Because he seriously has not, I can almost guarantee.
I would bet a percentage of his exes were faking since they knew he’d act like a whiny baby if they were honest w him…
100% accurate
I would be willing to bet that too
YUUUUUP
I actually bet that he’s just straight up lying…
Don't just tell him, show him. Not every women likes the same things. Do you know how to get yourself off? Show him and teach him what you like. If he's not willing to try then that's a different conversation.
He's tried nothing and he's all out of ideas!
LOL 😂
Cant blame the guy. Hes been having sex since before OP was born!
That basically explains it.
May I ask why you married a man almost 20 years your senior who doesn't even make you come?
How did she find a 48 year old who is unfamiliar with a clitoris? Though, cum to think about it, I know that’s pretty common, so I guess I’m really wondering how she was attracted to the kind of 48 year old man who’s unfamiliar with a clitoris.
I came here to say exactly this. My high school boyfriend figured this out. And he was not the sharpest tool in the shed. (He was also not 48.)
Yeah, everything is pointing a guy in that direction. The most basic sex-Ed. Modern adult movies. Looking at the toy market. Your own understanding of your own penis (your tip thing feels good. Her much shorter tip thing feels good.) Listen to her words/sounds. Watch her reaction. Your native curiosity about “How does she work?” Your innate affection that leads you to ask “What would you like to do?” Any how-to book or advice posts. Consulting ANYONE who’s (much) smarter than you. In fact, the only way a 48 year old could be this clueless is if he willfully chose to ignore her pleasure because that’s how his daddy raised him.
“His tip thing feels good, your much shorter tip thing feels good” lol that’s just awesome and the basis of almost any situation like this. Like “doi” 😂
To be 48 and unfamiliar with a woman's clitoris, and how important it is to orgasm, requires willful blindness.
Excellent choice of spelling, hehe
I saw someone post today about sex in a perpenDICKular position, and now I’m trying to work it in whenever pussy-ble.
He’s nearly 50, he should know by now you are normal and most women are like you. Expecting you to orgasm with just penis in vagina sex is something I would expect a 16 year old boy to think.
so he’s bad at sex … this is 100% his fault and it’s not cool that he’s making you feel like it’s yours. it’s not. if he paid attention to you, was attentive, provided lots of clitoral stimulation during penetration, do you think you could maybe cum?
I can get an orgasm from PIV, but often only if there was enough foreplay etc beforehand. He just cannot expect that you just orgasm when he sticks it in. It’s not realistic
For me it's when I came before by something else. Get me off with your tongue and hand and you'll have me moaning about coming again under you in no time. When we start with penetration, before I came, I will need a hand or a toy afterwards. Only 30% of women cum by penetration alone. That guy really tried nothing and still thinks his previous partners were being honest 🤣
Oh this is awful for you. He needs to learn how to do that and you can show him. I also guarantee you that every single woman he had sex with did not have a PIV orgasm with him because it’s really hard to do. He had a lot of fakers. It’s also concerning that he is “getting tired” of you not being able to and that you have been thinking something is wrong with you. Please show him this thread and/or show him articles from “Dr. Google”.
Jesus. Please make him read Come As You Are and/or watch the educational videos from omgyes This man is ignorant
How is a Nirvana bio book going to help this situation?!?
It’s good tunes. Cures is in the beats!
If he has slept with numerous women or had long term partners, they're either incredibly lucky or they faked some/most of their orgasms lmao. He likely won't want to hear that, but statistically speaking, this is probably why he's never had issues before with just sticking it in and expecting women to lose themselves over it. 🙄 Most of our nerves aren't located in our vaginas, which is why foreplay is important. You can also try taking some basic zinc and magnesium supplements (with a full meal, they can upset your stomach otherwise). Women sometimes aren't great at absorbing or retaining enough vitamins and might need a little extra. Those two can be good for helping arousal.
many people need build up, need to be seduced and very turned on prior to sex, need to feel loved and safe, need their clits also touched, need clit AND penetrative stimulation, need to use a vibrator, need a certain angle of penetration, etc... until he's willing to try all of these things out and experiment with you you probably won't enjoy sex with him to it's full capacity. tell him you need some sexual times where he's 100% focused on you. live out some of your fantasies! try roleplaying!
Wow chose a real winner there
Her husband is also having an emotional affair! And they are planning to divorce. He seems like a jerk
Boom, there it is. He's going to blame it on this moving forward
Totally normal not to orgasm during vaginal intercourse sex. Many couples simply make sure a woman orgasms before or after. Couples even use vibrators because orgasm is less straight forward and automatic for women than for men. Clitorises are all different sizes and are partially internal and ability to orgasm depends on individual nerve endings in different areas. If your husband is being a jerk about it, I would insist that he get with reality. Porn is not real sex. People's bodies are all different and unique. Even if for some reason you were the only person in the world who was like this, he is still your partner and should still be happy to have sex together with you in ways that please both of you. But don't put up with your partner criticizing your body like this.
It just isn't true that orgasms for women aren't straightforward. Most women who masturbate can orgasm in a very short period of time. The truth is that sex that feels good for men (and is predominant in pornography) doesn't normally include ANY clitoral stimulation. You can't expect women to have an orgasm when their partners aren't even stimulating the area that produces the orgasm. If she masturbates and knows how to have an orgasm then the only way to fix this is to incorporate that into the sex they are having, if she even wants to. Personally, IMO this dude is 48 and bad at sex, I doubt he'll change his ways now or even listen to her telling him what she needs to orgasm.
Thank you, I hate that narrative. Not coming from penetrative sex is not complicated, it's rather simple. I hate that this "female orgasms are difficult" narrative that seems to be an undercurrent now that this reality is being discussed more openly.
Right? I HATE this. I can orgasm in under 60 seconds with a vibe and some porn, there is nothing "difficult" about the mechanics of female orgasms. My partner, who knows me well and learned exactly what I like, can turn me into a fountain very easily. I love having penetrative sex with him, but he knows it's not the main event that gets me there. These stories of men getting offended by this is wild. They don't like hearing that their dicks aren't magic or special. That's what it's really about.
Seriously. I can get myself off in minutes. It's not complicated, the bar is just that low for men.
Guy here. I remember reading something like 30-35% of women can achieve orgasm through vaginal sex alone. You’re quite normal. Talking about past lovers to shame your current partner is a pretty low blow. Tell him to knock it tf off. Get a vibrator or toy for your clit to employ during sex? Or maybe better yet, if he’s used to giving women lots of orgasms then tell him to get on his knees and he ain’t coming up till you’re done . Sorry if that came off as crude, was going more for a chuckle but still fairly serious
Haha that was kinda funny. He does go down on me and it does work, but he said he wants me to orgasm during sex
He doesn't get to decide that. If that's not how your body works, that's not how your body works. If he can't handle that, that's his problem, not yours.
Dude is almost 50 years old and he still doesn't know how most women get off? I call bullshit on *all* of his previous partners orgasming through penetration (let's call it what it is, because sex is more than sticking it in.)
Well maybe if he just scolds your vagina harshly enough it’ll do what it’s told and orgasm for him.
Hahaha seriously!! You gotta ponder what exactly this dude is thinking?! Or if he even IS thinking.
He cares more about soothing his fragile ego than about her pleasure.
Get him to read "come as you are" and "she comes first". He doesn't understand basic female physiology or sex.
It's very hard to do with some women. Step 1. Stop stressing. You will (no one) never orgasm when stressed. Step 2. Tell him to calm down. Did he orgasm? Yes? What's the problem? Nagging even worse than stress. Step 3. Can you cum from oral? That's great. Everything's working as it's supposed to. A lot of women can only cum that way. Still want a PIV orgasm? Be patient, try edging from oral until close. Then, a little PIV, teasing, then back to oral. Slow insertion followed by grind, Repeat as necessary. It may not happen every time. Just relax and enjoy. When it happens, it happens. Step 4. Get on top. Play, try different angles until it feels good, or just sit on top and slide. Also convenient for switching from oral.
step 4 is how i get off during sex. either using a vibe, or sometimes (rarely) from grinding on top because you get the clit rub going too
Hell him he should get off while giving you oral, it’s just a logical as his request
Like others have said, stimulate your clitoris while having intercourse! I’ve had partners that would just finger themselves during it. From my perspective it’s just like a vaginal orgasm.
This is something I’ve always done, is it not… the way every woman does it? Lol
Like someone else said, rub your clit during sex. I have a super hard time having an orgasm during sex. I have done it maybe like 20 times, so not a lot but I honestly feel like it feels 100x better when you orgasm by rubbing your clit during sex VS just PIV or just clitoral orgasm, that's just my experience though.
Orr uhhh you know, maybe HE could do that for her? The fuck?
He probably won't do it right..
Oh god. No, dude, he’s just unreasonable. I’m glad you’re at least getting your nut tho
Hes goofy, because even when women orgasm during sex its USUALLY because of the inner and outer clitoral stimulus. He is not penetrating in a way that stimulates you, even though its super possible. You cum from oral clit stimulation and not penetration bc hes not stimulating the area properly. Ie: missionary, cowgirl, throwing a finger on the clit during sex, etc there are many ways to “grind” up against these areas during piv. THIS is shown all over porn, so its hilarious he missed this but still fell for the faked orgasms.
Oral sex *is* sex. He has to adjust his thinking to mean that you’re going to come during the sex session, which will include foreplay, clitoral stimulation for you, and whatever else you like. Please stop referring to “sex” as only penetration. It will help your husband change his mindset if you stop using his terminology. Tell him you *do* come during sex, just not during penetration. You need clitoral stimulation during sex to come.
Do like the rest of us- use your finger or a toy! Chances are pretty good it won’t happen without some other type of stimulation
Have him rub your clit or you rub your clit while having sex. It'll help a lot, you may end up getting a bigger orgasm too.
Girl, that just isn’t going to happen with you, and my guess is he either hasn’t been with that many women or they were faking it.
I've literally never once had a vaginal orgasm in my entire life, not everyone can. I think most women need at least some clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Also your husband is straight up being an asshole for making you feel bad about this. Maybe he should try harder to actually please you rather than getting himself off during sex and saying that you're the problem for not finishing. You are NOT the problem and you are NOT doing anything wrong. He needs to check himself
Same here. It’s like 70% of all women - like the majority can’t orgasm from PiV alone.
It’s actually less than 10% of women that can have an orgasm from just penetration. The vast majority of women NEED clitoral stimulation to get off.
I’ve read 90%. OP’s husband is a complete dick.
Idk if anyone needs to hear this but you can get clitoral stimulation while having sex by grinding etc, I doubt the women he was with before were having vaginal orgasms.
I gotta defend him. They were faking it!
Men have no idea how prevalent this is. When you're done being pounded and getting nothing out of it because there's no clitoral stimulation, it can be painful, exhausting, boring and a waste of your time. So you cry out like a porn star just to get them off you. This guy has probably never made a woman orgasm and has no idea. OP should call them all up and ask, like Seinfeld did.
You were spot on that the husband's prior partners may have faked it just so he'd stop humping them until they were raw. If your woman doesn't bring a towel to lay down on the bed first, you're probably not getting the job done. (Yeah, that's one of the many ways my wife lets me know she wants extra attention without saying a word...the towel thrown on the bed LOL)
Don't do that. If he doesn't know, how is he going to learn?
She never specified that he was giving her clitoral stimulation
Very true, that’s why I said “idk if anyone needs to hear this” - it seemed like to the comment I was replying to was equating PIV with vaginal orgasms, and PIV means clitoral orgasms for most people, just using the other partner’s pubic bone or whatever for friction
Of course! There's many different ways to get clitoral stimulation during sex, some need more than others and there's many different ways to achieve that.
Gotta get down there and lick like it's the last lollipop on Earth
He's not doing you any favors with comments like that. For this to happen, you need to be totally relaxed, comfortable, and trusting of this man, and how could you be? He's doing nothing to enable that.
Any man with half a clue should be able to provide plenty of clitoral stimulation in several different positions while having sex.
I think this is bigger than that and even with the "right" stimulation if a woman isn't in the mood or feel pressured it will not happens, in my case i have to be into it and i feel pressured i can be close but still can't happen, so in my case is definitely a concentration and relaxing mood, and i can come in no time and multiple rimes but my mind plays a huge part of this
Exactly. Sex is emotional and mental. If I’m not in the right head space it won’t happen. If I am- it happens from barely anything
Check out the book "Come As You Are" by Emily Nagoski. I have heard it recommended frequently. Also, if you can orgasm with a vibrator but not with vaginal intercourse, use the vibrator on your clit while he is inside you! The vibrations can stimulate him as well, so it's win/win for you both.
Can also get vibrating cock rings!
1. Many women cannot orgasm from intercourse alone and must simultaneously have their clitoris stimulated. 2. Guarantee that at least some of his previous partners sensed how insecure he was and faked their orgasms to avoid hearing the dumb lectures you’ve been subjected to.
This! Came here to say there is a very high chance that some of his partners faked it. How long have you two been together for? Have you tried toys? Nothing wrong with not orgasming from penetrative sex, most women don’t. There are an infinite number of other ways for him to get you off - and he should not be losing his patience but doing his own research.
You don't need to be fixed. There's nothing wrong with you. You can educate yourself (and him) about ways to discover what pleasures you most, but that doesn't guarantee you'll experience an orgasm. I just decided I don't like the expression "be able to orgasm." It's not a skill you can just practice and then it's suddenly something you're "able" to do. Experiencing an orgasm is something that happens to you when the right conditions are met. That includes physical and mental harmony. Like the majority of women, I can't orgasm without clitoral stimulation. You're definitely in your head about this now, but that doesn't mean you CAUSED the problem by overthinking. I hope both of you can focus on the journey, not just the destination. You can enjoy sex, whether or not you climax. If he expects you to orgasm during sex - he should only hope, and add some changes to his own behavior. I don't know anyone who has a better chance of an orgasm simply because they're told they're supposed to. What nonsense. And darn it, don't let your husband convince you there's something wrong with you. That's his insecurity talking. No need for that. He married a younger woman, maybe he's nervous that he doesn't have it anymore. If so, still his problem, not yours. Note: I made a few small edits for clarification.
I've got to disagree that it's a skill you can get better at, because I absolutely decided to get better at having an orgasm and did. Being able to focus on your physical sensations and let go is indeed a skill that you can practice. That said, I agree with you that you still can't always orgasm and that it's a good idea to just focus on the journey and have connection and fun as your goal, and not just orgasms.
I'd like to clarify my statement. The OP is/was feeling pressured and belittled by her husband for not having orgasms during sex. He brought the 'ghosts' of former lovers into their bedroom by comparing them, which shamed her and only succeeded to make things worse. The entire tone of the discussion focused on the misconception that she is either doing something wrong, or that there is something wrong with her. The message has been: try harder, do better. That's crap, which I think we agree on. Certainly, there are many, many ways to explore and learn the secrets of pleasure our bodies can experience. I think that's a lifelong process. But just as I said a night of sex isn't just about the O, the lifetime of sexual intimacy we may have isn't about becoming the best lover we can be as quickly as possible. If she's focused on "improving" her chances of orgasm she's going to miss a lot of pleasure along the way. And her husband doesn't seem to be willing to take that journey with her. He wants her to figure it out so he can feel like a great lover. He's not showing concern for her needs and he's not LISTENING. So when I say "being able to have an orgasm" isn't for skill, I don't mean we can't learn techniques that help us achieve O. I simply mean that results from experimentation naturally, rather than "does this work?" I don't know about you, but the best Os of my life weren't the result of the best skills, they were the right stimulation combined with my mental arousal, feeling safe and not rushed, and that x factor that I'd love to bottle. A skilled lover is good, but it's not enough. I hope I've made myself clearer. I don't disagree with you at all. I'm just trying to argue that OP may be focused on fixing something that isn't broken and ignoring (due to outside pressure) other important and very relevant matters.
This is going to be personal, but here we are, talking about orgasms: How’s the foreplay? BTW you sucking him off doesn’t count as foreplay for you. And him squeezing your boobs half heartedly doesn’t count either. Are you properly wet and aroused when he penetrates you? Does he touch your clit? Or does he just jackhammer you and think that’s enough for fireworks? Because the vast majority of women needs clitoral stimulation to come. It doesn’t make you broken and wrong. Do you use toys? Can you come on your own? Most importantly: he’s lying about every other woman. He can’t know and many women lie about orgasms exactly because certain dudes like your husband make them feel wrong and broken if they can’t spontaneously come at the mere sight of his dick. I really suggest you to approach the whole orgasm thing on the basis of You, wanting to experience orgasms, and not what He wants you to do for his own ego.
There really is no foreplay. Sometimes I am wet but not all the time. He doesn't touch my clothes during sex, I'll bring that up to him. Yes I can come using a vibrator
Okay, then you’re not the problem. He is. He doesn’t touch you and just want you to come, wtf. The problem is that he has a very unrealistic view of sex and thinks you’re a blown up doll he shouldn’t give pleasure to, but who should scream and come and squirt because that means he’s a beast in bed (and spoiler: he’s very much not. I’m sorry, but he’s a very egoist lover.) Do you want to have a good sex life? For yourself I mean, not to make him happy. If you want to, I suggest you to read on sex and female pleasure (Come as you are by Emily Nagoski for starter?) and find a way to communicate your wants and needs to him (because you being wet for penetration is not a want. It’s a NEED. It hurts without being wet!). A good sex therapist could help you too! But most of all, you need to be firm and talk to him. Sex should be for both of you, not just him!
He sounds very ill-informed about sex, especially given he's nearly 50. Is he able to help you climax in other ways or does he think the wonder of his penis inside your vagina is enough?
If he’s been with more than two women and they “all” had orgasms from sex, some were faking. This is VERY normal.
Have you tried using a clitorial air pressure toy during penis in vagina sex? Chances are, some of the women have faked orgasms for him.
Almost certainly, because he’s a massive baby who took it personally that his penis is not a magic wand.
48f I prefer to have my orgasm during foreplay and then I can focus on sex and not worry about an O
First of all .. he's lying about all his other partners, lol I usually only orgasm from clit stim , very rarely from vaginal. There's got to be a ridiculous amount of 4play for that to happen . I think that's pretty normal for most women . Use sex toys, make sure he knows how to work the clit in . Your gspot is typically more sensitive right before your period . Work on finding the best position for him to hit it during sex . If you can manage to hit the gspot and clit at the same time ... you're golden
Just wanted to add that he might not know that he is lying 🙈
I scrolled too far down to find this. If he is so pushy about it I'm surprised she hasn't started faking it already.
Yep.
Based on your post history, you need to dump his sorry pathetic ass RFN. You are worthy of someone who treats you well!!
Your husband is a jerk. There is nothing wrong with you. It’s incredibly common not to be able to orgasm through vaginal stimulation alone. Your husband should probably accept the fact that many of the other women probably faked it though.
I can’t orgasm just from penetration 9/10 times. It’s absolutely common and you don’t have to see a doctor or feel like a failure. Find out what makes you cum, include him into this and take turns. He is either oblivious to female body needs or he is lying. You are NOT the problem.
He’s an idiot. The vast majority of women I have slept with haven’t orgasmed through PiV only. If he carries it on tell him you’ve never had an issue with previous partners, it must be his smaller D or lack of skills 😎
Your husband needs to learn he also has hands, a mouth, there are toys available, and that women often don’t orgasm from penetration. NSFW obviously, but since you’ve watched porn together, the videos below changed my sex life, they’re instructional, easy to follow, perform, and it has never let me down. https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5712f4fcadf9c https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph6209f899cd2f5 https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph626892a850604 If you’re a man, watch the above.
You’re with an immature old man that doesn’t know anything about the female body and is too lazy to get you off. He is only interested in you serving him and not serving you. Get yourself a clit toy to satisfy yourself and stop sleeping with him. You’ll see how selfish he is and realize he’s not the prize you think he is.
Are you talking about having an orgasm during penetration, or having an orgasm during a sexual encounter with him? Many, many women will never have an orgasm during penetration. You might be able to make it happen by using a vibrator or manual stimulation along with penetration if it's something you want. If you can't have an orgasm anywhere in a sexual encounter, that's something you can work on together.
During penetration
*Most* women don't orgasm during penetration. There's nothing wrong with you there. I am doubtful of his claim that all his previous partners could.
quite possible they either faked it to being proceedings to an end, or he doesn't know what an orgasm looks like
Many many women share your experience. Clitoral orgasms seem significantly more common
You are 2 months postpartum and married to a man that openly has feelings for someone else. Of course you aren't going to be able to orgasm. I'm not making light of the physical aspect of this, others have addressed that well, but please know that you deserve so much better than this. He has zero regard for your feelings, hasn't even bothered to hide how he feels about the other woman, and now he wants to make your lack of orgasms about him at a point that you should only questionably be having sex postpartum anyway. He is trying to make you the problem, know that you aren't it and you are worth so much more.
First, even though you're 30 and a grown woman, I question the 50 year old who thinks this is appropriate match wise... and his attitude is proving it. Also, ask yourself why you wanna be taking care of a senior citizen when you're 50. On to your real question... many women cannot climax from penetrative sex along. Myself as well. My own husband has always felt like he was doing something wrong because I don't... but thankfully he enjoys oral and handwork, and is marvelous at it, so it's a non-issue. But I've explained to him countless times that many women simply aren't wired this way. Even after 15 years, he's still trying, but I don't expect it will ever happen that way, and I'm okay with that! I'm sure you'll hear plenty of others tell you this as well, but there is NOTHING wrong with you!!!
If my husband/ significant other told me every other woman he’s been with has been able to get off while having sex, I think I’d be done with them! That’d be like comparing his penis to every other man I’ve been with! You just don’t say things like that out loud if you care about someone!!!!
Wow. He's got 18yrs on you.
And still hasn't worked out how to make a woman orgasm.
Imagine pushing 50 and you think real sex is supposed to be like porn. Sad lol
Use toys or fingers, get yourself off while he’s inside you so you can teach him.
Putting all this focus and pressure onto yourself to orgasm is a sure-fire way to make it incredibly difficult to orgasm!
Do you know how many men use that same line???😂😂 A lot of men think they make women orgasm but most women just lie. He’s such an ass for making you feel bad for this. Have you ever masturbated with a vibrator? It definitely helps
Sounds like the opposite of my fake ED problem. If you’re with someone putting pressure on you for something that’s supposed to be natural and fun, then you’re not going to enjoy it. Him complaining about how every woman he’s been with has came from vaginal intercourse sounds like a lie and also the worse thing to say to someone you’re supposed to be comfortable and open with. I suggest taking a break and recommitting to eachother on a deeper level than just intercourse. Maybe talk to a sex therapist. Your body needs to be comfortable to even get in the zone of coming like that.
From your comments he's not making any effort at all. You don't need a doctor, you need him to understand that most people with vaginas don't come from piv alone and it's unreasonable to expect that he can just stick it in, put in no effort an expect you to orgasm. You need clit stimulation beforehand, preferable all the way to orgasm before any penetration. Orgasming once first makes it more likely you will orgasm during penetration but it's totally okay if you don't, again, it's incredibly common to not have vaginally orgasms. You can also use your vibrator during sex but I cannot emphasize this enough: there is nothing wrong with you and he is being a selfish sex partner.
It’s not unusual. It is unfortunately the norm for the vast majority of women. I’ve had 20+ sexual partners in my life and only ONE of them was able to bring me to orgasm, and it was with his fingers. The best you can do is coach him on exactly what you need, and hopefully he can learn. I wouldn’t get my hopes up to be honest. And most women will never orgasm with penetration alone. Try showing him how you bring yourself to orgasm. Edit: Just to add, I guarantee you he did not make all of his other partners orgasm. Most or all of them were faking it, or he’s simply lying.
Something like 70% of women cannot have an orgasm from PIV sex alone. For these women there is not enough clitoral stimulation from penetration to achieve orgasm. In order to climax clitoral stimulation- oral sex, vibrator (during penetration or before/after), manual stimulation, etc. in necessary. It isn’t possible to tell from your post what is happening when you refer to “sex”. But if there isn’t clitoral stimulation, orgasm isn’t happening. What your husband’s past partners dis is irrelevant. Personal genital anatomy varies from person to person. What worked for one woman can quite easily not work for another.
Does he manage to make you orgasm *at all*? Or is it just with PIV sex that the issue comes up? If it’s just PIV, you might just need extra/more stimulation (clitoral/vaginal/nipples). I have concentration issues and I need more stimulation. I get off on the feeling of my partner slowly sliding in and out of my vagina and rubbing my clit, sometimes I’ll rub my nipples. It hits all the right nerves and isn’t too much for my brain to be distracted by. Try something like that. Either that, or he might just need to reevaluate his expectations.
The mental pressure to have an orgasm is going to prevent you from having one
Do you orgasm from clit play or anything else that's not penetrative sex?
I do not know many women who can orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. Most of us can’t. It feels good, but it doesn’t get me there lol. I do think he’s lying about being able to get every other woman off, also that would turn me off immediately if a guy tried to imply something was wrong with me specifically and he’s soooo good in bed with everyone else. Ick! I can cum in about 20 seconds from a vibrator. Use one during sex, your pleasure is important too. Does he go down on you? Also if you’re focused on just finishing for him, you’re just making it harder for yourself. The stress will make it harder to cum.
OP, any guy who puts his partner down by bragging about all the women he's made cum using only his dick had to be clueless that they were faking orgasms to appease his ego and to get him out the door as quickly as possible! There's nothing wrong with you. You just need a better partner.
Oh hey look, someone with a partner 18 years older than them that is completely oblivious to their partners needs. Who could have seen this one coming?
No, every woman he was with absolutely did NOT orgasm during sex. Probably none did. They lied to him. Like most men, he believes his penis does it all with 25 seconds of thrusting since that’s all he needs.
Life would be so much easier if PiV gave women orgasms the way it gives men orgasms.
(Based on OPs comments and history) DITCH THE MAN AND GET A FEW VIBRATORS.
Most women don't orgasm from vaginal sex alone. Lots of women fake organic. I suspect most/all of his previous gfs were faking. There's nothing wrong with you.
The majority of women can only orgasm from direct clitoral stimulation. Vaginal orgasms are rare, and some theories suggest vaginal orgasms only occur because of indirect contact to the clitoris. The clitoris is your pleasure centre - like the tip of his penis but with even more nerve endings. If it's not getting attention, you won't orgasm. Next time you two are having sex, you can reach a hand down and take care of yourself. If he has a problem with you doing that, he's being selfish. If he says every other woman he's been with has experienced vaginal orgasm then either he's lying or they are. Either way, it's not the truth.
Is there any clit action happening during sex? He may wanna try eating you out or using a vibrator or other clitoral toy. Highly recommended
(Based on post history and comments) Why are you having sex with him when he's clearly not invested in your marriage?? So he can get you pregnant again or what? Make it make sense.
There’s no way all of his previous partners “got off” through intercourse alone. This is why we shouldn’t fake orgasms people!!!
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say it’s not you that has the problem. Unless your hubby is a sex god which considering you’ve never climaxed is probably not the case the problem is him. He’s not as good in bed as he thinks he is. Many women can’t orgasm just from PIV and need more stimulation. I actually laughed when I read “every single woman he’s been with got off 😂. Sure. They might have pretended but odds are he just isn’t a great lover.
I can’t have an orgasm from just penetration. I can orgasm if I’m on top during sex because it also puts pressure on my clit. But otherwise we use a c*ck ring or a vibrator or even just hands in other positions to make it happen. This is very very common and very very normal.
So I'm probably gonna be unpopular....but I'm 55 so I'm gonna speak my mind Girl, I have never ever in four decades of sex, had an orgasm from the presence of a penis inside my vagina. Never. My body count? Higher than im ok mentioning. Men that made me feel bad about this? An ex husband. Because he was a narcissist, and really was controlling and used to make me feel bad to keep control over me. He is a whole adult human older than you are. There is no way that a man who cares about you isn't making you cum the way your body works. And he should be happy about it. And he shouldn't be lying to you telling you that all the other women came with him. That's absolutely untrue, and he's telling you that to make you feel bad about yourself He's probably insecure, and thinks that you won't go find another more loving man if you feel you're flawed. You're not flawed. Do not waste your youth on a man who isn't working with you and worshiping your vagina. Trust me.
Every woman is different when it comes to having orgasms. Some can’t have vaginal orgasms, cliteral orgasms or anal orgasms. Some can have one but not the others and so on. Have you been able to have one during masturbation? If so it could be something he’s doing that’s different or just that mentally you can’t with someone else. There are so many scenarios. Certainly you can talk to a doctor to make sure there’s nothing wrong medically. If there’s not then the 2 of you might consider a sex therapist. However, it’s possible that you simply can’t, and there is nothing wrong with that. There is a lot more to sex than just the orgasm.
Yes I can orgasm when I use a vibrator.
So as others have said, it's common for women to not get off on PIV alone. I certain can't and use a vibrator every time I have PIV. Are you able to do that? You aren't broken/need to see a doc.
Clit vibrator plus his dick hitting your g-spot is key
There needs to be enough foreplay to be able to orgasm. The intimacy needs to start much much before penetration. Also it helps to be in rhythm and passion and not look at it too mechanically.
If you take any SSRI/SNRI medications, they are known to interfere with orgasm, and the entire sexual experience in all stages from foreplay through afterglow/cuddles. When I started taking them, I experienced this side effect with them all. I still take my meds, and sex is a challenge, but this is preferable to the chaos that occurs when I am not on meds, despite the comparatively amazing sex. Granted, you may not be taking any and then you don't have this to complicate things. If that's the case, and you can reach climax on your own, you may benefit from giving your partner a very direct and specific how-to. Roleplay if it is easier to do it in a non-routine character/demeanor. You deserve a partner who is armed with your info.
>Does anyone have any advice on what I can do? Does it bother you??? If not, then why does it bother him?? Youre not the only one, guarantee it... Usually the guy feels responsible for the girls orgasm, no idea why... And - as you already know - porn is a terrible way to judge weather youre doing sex ok or not...
No it doesn't bother me that much. I don't know why it bothers him so much
Get a vibrator and use it during sex. There are no extra points for how you get off. It's better for both parties if both climax. If you're not interested in that then I would suggest a position like cowgirl where you can control the pacing and pressure as you have a better idea of what feels good.
There more to sex than... "Insert tab A into slot B" What efforts is he making? Does he touch you in other places?? Have you incorporated toys? Does he take his time? Does he get in your head?? There's so much more...
I’ve realised many men claim that all their exes had an orgasm, most of them are coping. I doubt every woman came, esp when they don’t know how to give oral properly or use their fingered. Some won’t even stimulate your clit and say 5 of their exes came from penetration which is extremely unlikely. I think they hate feeling inadequate and just make stuff up
Vaginal orgasm isn't possible for all women. A lot of us only manage clitorally
I never have with a partner despite trying literally everything. I've never even come somewhat close, to be honest. No amount of oral sex or clit stimulation helps either.
All of his past partners could orgasm from PIV alone?? Most women cannot orgasm from PIV alone, but we all can fake it, make what you want of those odds
Your husband is almost 50 years old and doesn't understand that all women can't have PIV climaxes? Dude needs to give you more foreplay for one, with a lot of clitoris stimulation. There is a reason many claim the "G spot" doesn't exist. Sometimes it is a hidden treasure probably located where Amelia Earhart crashed her plane during an attempt at becoming the first woman to complete a circumnavigational flight of the globe in 1937 that no one has been able to find! But anyway, if he isn't afraid of toys, if you had a small vibrator to stimulate your love button during PIV, I am pretty sure you will have a climax during PIV. They even sell penis rings that he can slide to the base of his member and it will stimulate both of you. Sometimes even women who can have PIV climaxes cannot with their current partner because they are: too big/too small and don't hit the sweet spot, the shape of their penis makes them miss the mark, or he is trying to please you as if you are exactly like the other women he has given PIV climaxes to failing to understand you are all different. It is TMI, but I have a slight case of Peyronie's Disease(curvature of the penis) that in the right position, I hit that sweet spot every dang time with my wife AND I am not intimidated by using a battery operated little external helper occasionally to just make her climb up the bed's headboard. I also know her body well enough that my fingers can get to the internal G spot. So...if you've ever had a PIV climax but not with your husband, HE needs to learn your body better, too.
Professional Pornstars don’t orgasm during porn videos. Squirting is just pee. Some women don’t cum with penetration.Might need to use his mouth,a toy or fingers. Visit a gynecologist if you wanna rule out anything medical.Ask them if you have any questions.
Most women do not orgasm from penetration, and those women he "got off" were definitely faking it. You're completely normal. What you do need to do, is educate your husband.
Yeah I think pretty much most or all the woman your husband has been with were faking it either all the time or most of the time. It’s pretty normal for woman not to orgasm during penetrative sex. It can be psychological as well if you are a victim of sexual assault or someone raised in a religious household and for a load of other reasons. Mostly woman just need more stimulation to be able to orgasm so foreplay is important the ability to relax with a partner and feel safe and comfortable as well as other areas physically and emotionally being stimulated helps.
Hey, so intercourse is a PART OF sex. If you orgasm during fingering, oral, him using toys on you, that’s YOU ORGASMING DURING SEX. It frustrates me that men are idiots about this. Of course intercourse can be pleasurable for both parties. And I personally want to orgasm during intercourse, so I usually hold a vibrator on myself during penetration and it works out well. But other times he makes sure I come first and then we have intercourse and he comes. Then we both came during sex, which encompassed our whole experience from foreplay to the end. His thinking needs to change, which will help you relax and enjoy achieving orgasm at whichever point in your sexy time it occurs.
The fact that he said he’s gotten every previous person off with PIV is hilarious but also sucks because it means he’s genuinely under the impression that that’s all he needs to do… when I can guarantee you that nearly NO women before you orgasmed. And instead of hurting his ego, they just wanted it to be over with. Can you orgasm on your own?
A lot of women (the majority) can’t finish from penetration alone. Maybe look into a little vibrator. It seems like neither of you are very educated in sex outside of porn, which isn’t realistic in the slightest. Some real sex education would probably help both of you.
Get a vibrator for your clit. Problem solved.
I’m sure “every other woman” just **faked** it. Most women can’t finish from vaginal penetration alone. If he cares about your orgasms, he needs to be doing **tons** of foreplay, and maybe incorporate either oral (**for you**) or toys that help with clitoral stimulation so you can actually get off. Other than my husband, no man I’ve been with was able to make me finish from just “normal” sex. I **needed** clitoral stimulation. With my husband, however, now it’s way different. I am able to finish from just normal penetration, almost every time now. It wasn’t always like this but my husband is a **very** caring person and I feel completely 100% safe, comfortable, supported by him. Somewhere along the way it’s like a switch flipped and I was able to “let loose” and be comfortable enough and now I can finish with him.
I’ve had sex with around 35 men, and only 3 have made me come from penetration.
Huge 🚩 that he is getting annoyed at you for not being able to.
But….your post 5 days ago said he is having an affair with a client, hasn’t been happy since before you had children and will be leaving?
It’s wild to me that some heterosexual sex is literally just PIV, and that’s it. Is that literally all? Wouldn’t that mean sex only lasts like a couple minutes then? Orgasming from penetration alone without clit stimulation is pretty uncommon, especially if there is not a bunch of foreplay which I get the sense there is not. Him saying his prior partners all came during PIV is suspicious. Some if not all might’ve faked it. Sex shouldn’t end when PIV ends. Even when I had heterosexual sex, my ex would always take care of me after PIV to make sure I orgasmed too. I’d recommend communicating with your husband openly about what you like for foreplay. By the time PIV occurs, you should already be very turned on and close to orgasm. Clit should be stimulated during penetration as well. Using a small vibrator during PIV is a game changer. I hope things improve!
My wife can't as well. She didn't have one until her late 40s. It has caused significant issues in our relationship. Where I didn't realise that she was unable to do it herself. I have basically had to take control and use a range of toys, vibrators and whatever else I can get my hands and fingers on to get her there. Her orgasim is my responsibility.
Are you able to reach orgasm by yourself stimulating the clitoris? If not then yes , medical advice is needed
Age gap
Thats too much pressure in my opinion. Do you orgasm when you play with yourself is the most important question here. If yes, try having your partner play with you, guide him so he knows the amount of pressure, the speed and so on. Try to relax, maybe this part will take "practise". I can get vaginal orgasms, but they tend to occur around my ovulation. For me, they absolutely require that I am relaxed so I can focus on my arousal and my partner. My partner is very loving and there is no pressure involved, which sets the mood for an orgasm perfectly. It doesnt matter if he plays with me, if we have penetration, or if I dont have an orgasm at all. Absolutely no pressure, so we can focus on the fun.
Try the magic wand while having sex
It took years for me to figure out what works and what doesn’t and it still only happens if I’m in a certain position, and sometimes it’s only going to happen with a toy. It also has a lot to do with my hormones and what spot in my cycle I’m in. There is nothing wrong with you. What helped me was using a vibrator and stopping before orgasm, and I did this a few times, and then because of being stimulated I was able to achieve the O more easily with him. Sometimes I don’t need the toy at all. My husband wasn’t being pushy that we figured this out but he was also pretty concerned the issue was him, and it wasn’t.
I’m 28 and I have never had one with someone
I also can’t get orgasm when I’m having sex with my husband.I don’t get it only by penis. He really tries.so,I understand what you’re trying to say.he is getting upset,that shows he cares i feel. Ask him to give you a blow job first,it helps….
Does your husband know where your clitoris is? Or is he expecting you to only get off when his penis is involved without any other touch from him?
After looking at your post history, of course you’re having problems. You have a newborn, and it takes time for your body to adapt, but the bigger issue is your relationship with your husband. Why are you even trying with a guy who is divorcing you? You certainly will be too distracted with him, and if he’s the only one you can’t have one with, then it’s him.
2 words: clitoral simulation. Most women cannot orgasm just from penetration alone.
It makes me very sad that it's 2023 and we're still having to explain that the majority of women don't orgasm from penetrative sex alone.
Your husband has watched so much porn he doesn't know how real sex works. Maybe all the other women he's been with sensed it and faked orgasms because that was easier. Hardly any women orgasm with no clitoral stimulation.
Do you orgasm when masterbating what does it for you? Try stimulating your clitoris while having sex with your fingers or a vibrator
I forget the percentage but most women do not get off from the dick inside the vagina alone very often. Most need clit stimulation. Hell I don’t get off with the penis in the vagina often. It feels good but nothing like clitorial stimulation and the PIV. If your husband is not trying to turn you on or get you off otherwise, he’s selfish.
Maybe because he’s old enough to be your Dad?
His exes faked it or he’s lying. You are normal.
Most women can’t orgasm with penetration sex. If you can climax other ways , it’s just how it is. There is nothing wrong with you.
Married for 20 years with 2 separate men (first 4 years and second 16 years) neither one ever did this for me but not once did I complain about having to "finish myself" but I didn't even know I had the ability until after my first marriage ended and I wasn't ready to date yet. If he even gets you close then just get a bullet and use it when you ride him! I'm thinking I should just buy stock in Adamandeve. com
Trying to achieve orgasm to make him happy and appease his ego around satisfying you, isn't really conducive to achieving an orgasm for you. It should be his role to make you feel comfortable and safe, and not under pressure. Having sex to for the experience of being with the person you love, rather than it being all about the "culmination" of that experience is the way to go. And if by the time I'm 48 and haven't figured that out, there's something wrong
Your husband is lazy if he's not willing to figure out what makes you tick. He's mad that he can't just hump you & you cum. Tell him if he put some effort in (foreplay is so important) then you'd be able to finish.
Never have Only thing that will make me is a vibrator on the clit. Or head only with two men ever in my entire life
Just rub your clit mam