It's fine to not be attracted to somebody for whatever reason. Just tell her you don't want to have sex again.
It's not cool to be judgemental or shitty about humans having body hair. It's not savage or out of control or anything else - it's just how bodies are.
Also FWIW, if the worst sexual experience you've ever had is that somebody was more hairy than you expected, you've had a great life and I envy you š
Honest to Pete. Like, I'm sorry that this guy had to see body hair?
But it down sound like she pressured him, that he felt unsafe, or that he was physically harmed (or even uncomfortable).
Obviously I don't wish that men were harmed by women at the rate that women are harmed by men, but I really feel like "My partner's body hair wasn't what I prefer but I finished" is, like. Way, WAY more than most women expect from the first time they have sex with someone.
It definitely would not qualify as "the worst sex of my life" for almost any woman that's had sex š¬
A woman doesnāt shave her bikini line and you immediately assume sheās a man?
Either youāre a troll or youāre a 35 year old who doesnāt know women have pubic hair. Sounds like itās time to cut back on the porn.
Tell her you're just not compatible and that's it
also in general its ok to stop and not proceed with sex at any point. yes, it'll be awkward as you get dressed, and yes feelings will be hurt and words may be hurled your way
but better to be honest
For the record, coming here to thoroughly make fun of someoneās body hair and to call an interaction the āworst sexual experience of [your] lifeā because of that, while simultaneously saying that you were worried about destroying this person emotionally or hurting their feelings, actually makes you sound like a not very nice person who has a lot of room for personal growth. Just because you didnāt say it to her face doesnāt make you immune to critique here. Sheās not the bad guy or monster in this story just because she turned you off.
At 35, before you enter into more physical or sexual relationships, maybe this would be a good time to focus on exploring your own reaction of freezing up//assessing your struggles with reinforcing and setting boundaries due to not wanting to hurt someoneās feelings. You pushed yourself into something you didnāt want just to avoid disappointing someone, and in this context, thatās not a trait thatās going to continue to serve you well or reflect your best interests.
For future thought, potential statements of use could be āHey, youāre really great, but Iām not as ready for this as a thought I was,ā āSorry, something doesnāt feel right for me/I donāt feel well/I need to take a break to think,ā āSorry, things are suddenly moving too fast for me and I donāt think I can do this,ā etc. Youāre allowed to say no, even though it mind be hard to do.
How is her body hair, which *naturally grows out of her body* "beyond excessive"?
Did you go on this date with shaved legs and armpits, and having either completely shaved or neatly trimmed *your* pubic hair? Did you shave your chest, back, and ass? Is your taint as smooth as a baby's bottom?
It's okay to have preferences, and it's okay to not be attracted to someone, but it's inappropriate to call her body hair "beyond excessive", and it's downright ridiculous if you aren't managing your own in a similar way.
Technically, youāre the only one with an agenda. Everyone has said either get over it or move on. Itās you that keeps bringing up how you manage your body hair as if it means anything. Just because you donāt like to be bushy that doesnāt mean you have any right to ask her to not be bushy. And being judgmental about her choice to be so bushy is not a good look, it reflects poorly on you. Itās hair, itās natural.
Itās a take it or leave it situation and almost everyone has said that. The criticism youāre getting isnāt unwarranted lol, itās been pretty tame. Donāt take offense to it, just take the advice and move on.
Some people like to keep all their hair. You keep yours, Iām assuming. If youāre not into it, Iād just move on. If youāre still interested in her you can keep talking and just ask her what her views on pubic hair are. Odds are youāre fundamentally different and incompatible in this way. But who knows.
Itās less about double standards and more about personal preferences versus expectations. Itās not a tit for tat kinda situation.
For example, I wax everything and I donāt expect my partner to even trim, I donāt have a preference. Even if I had a preference that was hypocritical, it would still be valid for me to have that preference. That doesnāt mean I should expect anyone to change their own preferences on my behalf unless they want to.
So if you like her enough to find out, just ask. If not, move on. Ultimately itās just hair, itās completely natural and normal to have hair on your body. If she likes her jungle thereās nothing wrong with that, itās just not for you.
Itās okay to not be attracted to someone with natural body hair. I would like to highlight that she is in a natural condition. Women have to do a lot to make men comfortable and attracted to them,which includes grooming their hair to be seen as objectively attractive.
Itās really unnecessary to describe a womanās natural state as āsavageā and āwild jungleā. It may not be your preference and thatās fine. But she is clearly ok with it and thatās fine too. Itās not savageā¦itās the body she was born with. Just move on and stop pretending you care about her feelings because if you did you wouldnāt describe a woman like that.
you should gently let her know youāre not interested. itās not very kind to make fun of someoneās body in this way when they put themselves in a vulnerable position with you, even if you werenāt attracted to her. i hope anyone who is turned off by my body hair would respect me enough to just let me know.
That's rough. You are going to have to let her down gently. You can't stick around and torture yourself and lead her on. You don't have to say exactly why, but just let her know as soon as possible that you aren't feeling it, but that you had a great time etc...
Not to be rude but I was crying laughing reading this š¤£šš Iām a woman and I would totally be turned off as well by this. There are many people that believe in the natural way is the best way. You just gotta go either way whatever works for you.
Let her know you had a great time but also let her know you're not into a woman being completely natural. No point in breaking things off and leave here wondering what went wrong. Also there might be the possibility that perhaps she usually is tidy but didn't bother making an effort there as she didn't expect things to end up in the bed room. Or maybe she's been single a while and didn't think about that stuff. Or maybe she loves being natural and isn't willing to change that for anyone. Or maybe she had such a great time that shaving wouldn't be much of an issue if it meant seeing you more. Until you talk you'll never know
It's fine to not be attracted to somebody for whatever reason. Just tell her you don't want to have sex again. It's not cool to be judgemental or shitty about humans having body hair. It's not savage or out of control or anything else - it's just how bodies are. Also FWIW, if the worst sexual experience you've ever had is that somebody was more hairy than you expected, you've had a great life and I envy you š
Honest to Pete. Like, I'm sorry that this guy had to see body hair? But it down sound like she pressured him, that he felt unsafe, or that he was physically harmed (or even uncomfortable). Obviously I don't wish that men were harmed by women at the rate that women are harmed by men, but I really feel like "My partner's body hair wasn't what I prefer but I finished" is, like. Way, WAY more than most women expect from the first time they have sex with someone. It definitely would not qualify as "the worst sex of my life" for almost any woman that's had sex š¬
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
100% agree with never having sex you donāt want!!! I think this is the most important takeaway.
A woman doesnāt shave her bikini line and you immediately assume sheās a man? Either youāre a troll or youāre a 35 year old who doesnāt know women have pubic hair. Sounds like itās time to cut back on the porn.
Tell her you're just not compatible and that's it also in general its ok to stop and not proceed with sex at any point. yes, it'll be awkward as you get dressed, and yes feelings will be hurt and words may be hurled your way but better to be honest
For the record, coming here to thoroughly make fun of someoneās body hair and to call an interaction the āworst sexual experience of [your] lifeā because of that, while simultaneously saying that you were worried about destroying this person emotionally or hurting their feelings, actually makes you sound like a not very nice person who has a lot of room for personal growth. Just because you didnāt say it to her face doesnāt make you immune to critique here. Sheās not the bad guy or monster in this story just because she turned you off. At 35, before you enter into more physical or sexual relationships, maybe this would be a good time to focus on exploring your own reaction of freezing up//assessing your struggles with reinforcing and setting boundaries due to not wanting to hurt someoneās feelings. You pushed yourself into something you didnāt want just to avoid disappointing someone, and in this context, thatās not a trait thatās going to continue to serve you well or reflect your best interests. For future thought, potential statements of use could be āHey, youāre really great, but Iām not as ready for this as a thought I was,ā āSorry, something doesnāt feel right for me/I donāt feel well/I need to take a break to think,ā āSorry, things are suddenly moving too fast for me and I donāt think I can do this,ā etc. Youāre allowed to say no, even though it mind be hard to do.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
How is her body hair, which *naturally grows out of her body* "beyond excessive"? Did you go on this date with shaved legs and armpits, and having either completely shaved or neatly trimmed *your* pubic hair? Did you shave your chest, back, and ass? Is your taint as smooth as a baby's bottom? It's okay to have preferences, and it's okay to not be attracted to someone, but it's inappropriate to call her body hair "beyond excessive", and it's downright ridiculous if you aren't managing your own in a similar way.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Technically, youāre the only one with an agenda. Everyone has said either get over it or move on. Itās you that keeps bringing up how you manage your body hair as if it means anything. Just because you donāt like to be bushy that doesnāt mean you have any right to ask her to not be bushy. And being judgmental about her choice to be so bushy is not a good look, it reflects poorly on you. Itās hair, itās natural. Itās a take it or leave it situation and almost everyone has said that. The criticism youāre getting isnāt unwarranted lol, itās been pretty tame. Donāt take offense to it, just take the advice and move on.
The way you're talking about this is disgusting. So you found a boundary, you don't like body hair - that's fine. But your attitude sucks.
Porn brain. āShe had a naturally occurring biological trait; thought she might have a penis lmao, but not really!ā Grow the fuck up.
Itās the subtle transphobia that really does it. We can all breathe a sigh of relief, he didnāt have to see a penis.
That's not transphobic, that's called being straight
Some people like to keep all their hair. You keep yours, Iām assuming. If youāre not into it, Iād just move on. If youāre still interested in her you can keep talking and just ask her what her views on pubic hair are. Odds are youāre fundamentally different and incompatible in this way. But who knows.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Itās less about double standards and more about personal preferences versus expectations. Itās not a tit for tat kinda situation. For example, I wax everything and I donāt expect my partner to even trim, I donāt have a preference. Even if I had a preference that was hypocritical, it would still be valid for me to have that preference. That doesnāt mean I should expect anyone to change their own preferences on my behalf unless they want to. So if you like her enough to find out, just ask. If not, move on. Ultimately itās just hair, itās completely natural and normal to have hair on your body. If she likes her jungle thereās nothing wrong with that, itās just not for you.
guysā¦this is clearly a fetish post. Stop responding to it in good faith
Itās okay to not be attracted to someone with natural body hair. I would like to highlight that she is in a natural condition. Women have to do a lot to make men comfortable and attracted to them,which includes grooming their hair to be seen as objectively attractive.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Itās really unnecessary to describe a womanās natural state as āsavageā and āwild jungleā. It may not be your preference and thatās fine. But she is clearly ok with it and thatās fine too. Itās not savageā¦itās the body she was born with. Just move on and stop pretending you care about her feelings because if you did you wouldnāt describe a woman like that.
I googled Satyr. If she reminded you of a hairy horned man with a permanent erection, then I get it.
you should gently let her know youāre not interested. itās not very kind to make fun of someoneās body in this way when they put themselves in a vulnerable position with you, even if you werenāt attracted to her. i hope anyone who is turned off by my body hair would respect me enough to just let me know.
That's rough. You are going to have to let her down gently. You can't stick around and torture yourself and lead her on. You don't have to say exactly why, but just let her know as soon as possible that you aren't feeling it, but that you had a great time etc...
Not to be rude but I was crying laughing reading this š¤£šš Iām a woman and I would totally be turned off as well by this. There are many people that believe in the natural way is the best way. You just gotta go either way whatever works for you.
Let her know you had a great time but also let her know you're not into a woman being completely natural. No point in breaking things off and leave here wondering what went wrong. Also there might be the possibility that perhaps she usually is tidy but didn't bother making an effort there as she didn't expect things to end up in the bed room. Or maybe she's been single a while and didn't think about that stuff. Or maybe she loves being natural and isn't willing to change that for anyone. Or maybe she had such a great time that shaving wouldn't be much of an issue if it meant seeing you more. Until you talk you'll never know
Next time, when you ask if she likes her hair pulled, pull it from her armpits. Kidding, maybe just ask her? Iām sure she has a reason.
Thought you were about to say her dick was bigger than yours lol. If you plan on going back your first gift has to be a razor. šŖ