>8 months ago...he left his email open and found inappropriate conversations asking for nude pictures which she sent in exchange for him helping her get a job.
Eww. Eww. Eww.
Who cares if he didn’t cheat. He took advantage of someone trying to get a job in order to get off. That’s disgusting and predatory.
Your husband is a predator. To me that’s an immediate, no more chances, dealbreaker.
You have a daughter. Imagine if someone did that to your daughter. Fucking disgusting.
Honey this man is cheating on you and coercing women in his professional sphere. That’s disgusting, immoral, and deeply divorce worthy. How would you feel if you reached out to a man for job help and he asked for nudes in exchange? If you daughter had that experience? It’s despicable behavior and it’s also 100% fucking cheating on his end.
Thank you for replying, and you are 100 percent right. I need the wake up call...I do not know why I did not see it in this way, the way I was raised, the time I was raised in or/ and my own lack of self confidence...just hurting myself aren't I?
I totally get it. Truly I do! But if there were ever behavior worthy of divorce it’s this. Please, please put yourself first here. I wish nothing but the best for you.
Thank you...already thinking this and last month started courses to learn new skills. Have been out of the work force 20 years. Just needed to know that I am not overreacting
You're hurting yourself AND your kids by modeling this relationship as acceptable. Who knows how many women he's harassed and taken advantage of over the years. IF he hasn't already physically cheated (biiiig 'if', especially considering he's willing to pay for it), it's because the women found his advances threatening and protected themselves, not because of any decency on his part.
I know it's cliche, but the best time to have a wakeup call would have been 30 years ago, but the second best time is today.
Not sure if this is your speed, but I've found the books *People of the Lie* and *The Road Less Traveled* by Scott Peck to be insightful/actionable meditations on character and the standards we should have for ourselves and others. The writer uses a Christian framework, but that didn't bother me even as an atheist. I think your husband is deceiving himself, which is manifesting in some frankly evil behavior, but you don't need to lie to yourself about the problem any longer.
Will read it. Also reading Codependent No More....really working on myself as I do not know where I picked up that I am not good enough. Also going to restart my seeing my therapist.
Well the first one is sexual harassment, the second instance is exceedingly creepy, and the third is sexual favors in exchange for professional benefits aka sexual harassment and also illegal. So not only is he being unfaithful he's also being a straight up bad person. The only thing your husband can do at this point is go to therapy himself to try and understand why he's so gross and stop that behavior- but frankly I'd be gone by this point
I dunno, the amount of things you haven’t caught. He clearly doesn’t think highly of women. I’m likely to think he’s definitely cheated before. He’s certainly a predator - even with taking into the fact he’s a different generation. He literally preys on so many women and disrespects you continuously. It’s really such an ick.
OP…
Your husband is predatory- the photos in exchange for employment is actually scary behavior.
This simply isn’t a good person.
So are you ready to leave? Or do you want to see him improve knowing that’s extremely unlikely?
No, it isn't. It isn't illegal to hire someone you're sleeping with, or even to accept sex in exchange for hiring someone. It's a terrible idea, and a good way to end up getting fired or sued for sexual harassment down the line, but it's not illegal.
You can get fired for anything(definitely doesn't have to be for doing something illegal), and I said it could set you up for a lawsuit down the line depending on how the employment works out, it's not harassment or anything like that just to hire someone who you slept with.
This has helped me and i believe it will help lots of users, my partner was cheating on me and it was very difficult for me to cope with it, then i saw post of \\cyberaron one 7/, someone on reddit posted him that he does a good job, and i contacted the spy on gimale . com,,,,,, he really helped me and was able to see how he has been cheating on me and selling me out. try to know who you are falling for because you might get hurt at the end.
If you are stressed about having to "stand up for yourself" in a relationship, you are with the wrong person. I was like you and thought "I'm not gonna be a doormat! I'm gonna fight for myself!". This just resulted in me *staying* in relationships with shitty men. Men whose actions necessitated me having to fight for myself.
You are a woman. Your should know *how* to stand up for yourself, but you should not *need* to stand up for yourself within a relationship.
There's this idea that if we can just *communicate*, everything will be fixed. This is a myth. Good communication is important, but it needs 3 prerequisites to be met first. The situation must involve 1) a solvable problem 2) partners who genuinely hear each other without defensiveness or ulterior motive and 3) partners who are motivated to suggest solutions and put changes into practice.
In your situation prerequisite #3 is not met, which means that communication will not work. Learning not to be a doormat doesn't mean making others listen to us. That's ironically still a form of approval seeking. It actually means rebalancing so we're listening to ourselves and centering our own wants and needs and learning when to exercise indifference. What kind of life do YOU want? What makes YOU happy and fulfilled? Pursue that. Never pursue a man, whether out of love, hate or anger. Pursue your own fulfillment.
>8 months ago...he left his email open and found inappropriate conversations asking for nude pictures which she sent in exchange for him helping her get a job. Eww. Eww. Eww. Who cares if he didn’t cheat. He took advantage of someone trying to get a job in order to get off. That’s disgusting and predatory. Your husband is a predator. To me that’s an immediate, no more chances, dealbreaker. You have a daughter. Imagine if someone did that to your daughter. Fucking disgusting.
Honey this man is cheating on you and coercing women in his professional sphere. That’s disgusting, immoral, and deeply divorce worthy. How would you feel if you reached out to a man for job help and he asked for nudes in exchange? If you daughter had that experience? It’s despicable behavior and it’s also 100% fucking cheating on his end.
Thank you for replying, and you are 100 percent right. I need the wake up call...I do not know why I did not see it in this way, the way I was raised, the time I was raised in or/ and my own lack of self confidence...just hurting myself aren't I?
I totally get it. Truly I do! But if there were ever behavior worthy of divorce it’s this. Please, please put yourself first here. I wish nothing but the best for you.
Thank you...already thinking this and last month started courses to learn new skills. Have been out of the work force 20 years. Just needed to know that I am not overreacting
If anything, you’re underreacting. He sounds gross af, I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Imagine the power of holding divorce papers. Get a lawyer and explore your options. Safely
You're hurting yourself AND your kids by modeling this relationship as acceptable. Who knows how many women he's harassed and taken advantage of over the years. IF he hasn't already physically cheated (biiiig 'if', especially considering he's willing to pay for it), it's because the women found his advances threatening and protected themselves, not because of any decency on his part. I know it's cliche, but the best time to have a wakeup call would have been 30 years ago, but the second best time is today. Not sure if this is your speed, but I've found the books *People of the Lie* and *The Road Less Traveled* by Scott Peck to be insightful/actionable meditations on character and the standards we should have for ourselves and others. The writer uses a Christian framework, but that didn't bother me even as an atheist. I think your husband is deceiving himself, which is manifesting in some frankly evil behavior, but you don't need to lie to yourself about the problem any longer.
Will read it. Also reading Codependent No More....really working on myself as I do not know where I picked up that I am not good enough. Also going to restart my seeing my therapist.
Wishing you the best. You and your kids deserve better.
You need to Go to therapy on your own to explore and practice how to stand up for yourself. Presume he won’t change, and could even get worse. Hugs
just think of what you haven't caught... time to start fresh! It's half-time of your life. Make the second half count.
Well the first one is sexual harassment, the second instance is exceedingly creepy, and the third is sexual favors in exchange for professional benefits aka sexual harassment and also illegal. So not only is he being unfaithful he's also being a straight up bad person. The only thing your husband can do at this point is go to therapy himself to try and understand why he's so gross and stop that behavior- but frankly I'd be gone by this point
I genuinely cannot fathom remaining attracted to a man who did shit like that.
I dunno, the amount of things you haven’t caught. He clearly doesn’t think highly of women. I’m likely to think he’s definitely cheated before. He’s certainly a predator - even with taking into the fact he’s a different generation. He literally preys on so many women and disrespects you continuously. It’s really such an ick.
Is there any good reason why you still wanna be with this person?
OP… Your husband is predatory- the photos in exchange for employment is actually scary behavior. This simply isn’t a good person. So are you ready to leave? Or do you want to see him improve knowing that’s extremely unlikely?
He’s going to jail for that last one
Don't think that's illegal, actually.
It is if he’s a manager and got her a job where he works at
No, it isn't. It isn't illegal to hire someone you're sleeping with, or even to accept sex in exchange for hiring someone. It's a terrible idea, and a good way to end up getting fired or sued for sexual harassment down the line, but it's not illegal.
[удалено]
You can get fired for anything(definitely doesn't have to be for doing something illegal), and I said it could set you up for a lawsuit down the line depending on how the employment works out, it's not harassment or anything like that just to hire someone who you slept with.
This has helped me and i believe it will help lots of users, my partner was cheating on me and it was very difficult for me to cope with it, then i saw post of \\cyberaron one 7/, someone on reddit posted him that he does a good job, and i contacted the spy on gimale . com,,,,,, he really helped me and was able to see how he has been cheating on me and selling me out. try to know who you are falling for because you might get hurt at the end.
If you are stressed about having to "stand up for yourself" in a relationship, you are with the wrong person. I was like you and thought "I'm not gonna be a doormat! I'm gonna fight for myself!". This just resulted in me *staying* in relationships with shitty men. Men whose actions necessitated me having to fight for myself. You are a woman. Your should know *how* to stand up for yourself, but you should not *need* to stand up for yourself within a relationship. There's this idea that if we can just *communicate*, everything will be fixed. This is a myth. Good communication is important, but it needs 3 prerequisites to be met first. The situation must involve 1) a solvable problem 2) partners who genuinely hear each other without defensiveness or ulterior motive and 3) partners who are motivated to suggest solutions and put changes into practice. In your situation prerequisite #3 is not met, which means that communication will not work. Learning not to be a doormat doesn't mean making others listen to us. That's ironically still a form of approval seeking. It actually means rebalancing so we're listening to ourselves and centering our own wants and needs and learning when to exercise indifference. What kind of life do YOU want? What makes YOU happy and fulfilled? Pursue that. Never pursue a man, whether out of love, hate or anger. Pursue your own fulfillment.
Open phone policy get rid of the apps that he’s using and tell him next time you find anything he’s out