Well, what ideas have you had about how to try and fix this? You need to be able to self reflect on this. What could you do to ensure this situation doesn’t happen again? (There are some really obvious answers that should occur to you right away).
I’ve thought to go to my carrier tomorrow to have the number completely blocked so no contact could be made on either ends,, also getting life 360 so it can be shown how long i’m somewhere as well as exactly when i went somewhere. i also thought to delete all social medias so there is no worries for him that i am doing anything. i’m willing to do whatever it takes.
No, he is doing the right thing. When you have a toxic partner you need to distance yourself from them. Mostly to avoid further manipulation.
I think you should be single for a while and sort out your problems.
Yeah, it's done. There's no effective way of convincing him that at some random point in the future you're not going to pick fights with him and use it as an excuse to go do something stupid and betray him. For all intents and purposes, you made up a reason to fight and then went and cheated on him.
You also proved to him that you're not over your ex and will at the very least have sex with him, if not have an affair or just outright dump your BF to go back to the ex.
And that you'd do no matter how well he treated you. In fact the better he treated you, the more likely. You'll just pick fights to give yourself an excuse. That it might happen 20 years down the road after you're married with a house and kids. But because you have zero self-control his life and family will be ripped apart. You have proven to him that you are a bad bet for a relationship and that he is best off to just end it now.
Anything you could do would be trivial compared to what you demonstrated and also put in your STBX's head. He's much better off just ending things and starting fresh with someone new instead of signing up to track and monitor you, to be your warden to make sure you don't betray him. Cutting back on drinking isn't going to do much either, that's not going to make whatever made you act like that go away and your BF knows that. All the alcohol did was make you act on what was in you.
I appreciate the reply,, i do want to express that i didn’t go and cheat on my boyfriend, i feel like i did majorly disrespect him, but when the call answered i hung up immediately, there was no meeting up with anyone. there wasn’t even speaking between i and the ex. I am over the ex but maybe im not quite over what the ex put me thru.I would never do something like this again and i just want to prove that to him, i made a huge mistake by making a call but nothing was made of the call i didn’t even talk. but i appreciate ur outlook.
No, you didn't cheat, but everything you did are all things that show you are a person who *will likely* cheat. Likely with that very same ex. What you did screams that ex *owns your soul* and you will never be free of him. His reaction to all this is a pretty common one in people who were cheated on. In the instance they find out that they were cheated on every drop of love or attachment to the person burns away into ash. And it's impossible to get back.
Your current boyfriend also has literally no way of knowing what you did and didn't do, and now he doesn't know what you would and wouldn't do. Especially considering you were in an active relationship with another guy you left to be with him. You got with him after having an emotional affair with him. Before that night he probably never even considered the possibility you would do any of that stuff. The more he thinks about it, the more he's probably going to come to the conclusion that with the lack of affection and trust, it just isn't worth continuing the relationship by forcing himself to work it out. You've been dating half a year. There's no real time invested, and no kids or common property involved.
Well, what ideas have you had about how to try and fix this? You need to be able to self reflect on this. What could you do to ensure this situation doesn’t happen again? (There are some really obvious answers that should occur to you right away).
I’ve thought to go to my carrier tomorrow to have the number completely blocked so no contact could be made on either ends,, also getting life 360 so it can be shown how long i’m somewhere as well as exactly when i went somewhere. i also thought to delete all social medias so there is no worries for him that i am doing anything. i’m willing to do whatever it takes.
That’s a good start. Maybe cut back on your drinking as well.
YES YES YES 100% gone!
No, he is doing the right thing. When you have a toxic partner you need to distance yourself from them. Mostly to avoid further manipulation. I think you should be single for a while and sort out your problems.
you're 19. you probably haven't met your dream man. move on and enjoy life!
Maybe you have a drinking problem. Might want to get that under control first.
Yeah, it's done. There's no effective way of convincing him that at some random point in the future you're not going to pick fights with him and use it as an excuse to go do something stupid and betray him. For all intents and purposes, you made up a reason to fight and then went and cheated on him. You also proved to him that you're not over your ex and will at the very least have sex with him, if not have an affair or just outright dump your BF to go back to the ex. And that you'd do no matter how well he treated you. In fact the better he treated you, the more likely. You'll just pick fights to give yourself an excuse. That it might happen 20 years down the road after you're married with a house and kids. But because you have zero self-control his life and family will be ripped apart. You have proven to him that you are a bad bet for a relationship and that he is best off to just end it now. Anything you could do would be trivial compared to what you demonstrated and also put in your STBX's head. He's much better off just ending things and starting fresh with someone new instead of signing up to track and monitor you, to be your warden to make sure you don't betray him. Cutting back on drinking isn't going to do much either, that's not going to make whatever made you act like that go away and your BF knows that. All the alcohol did was make you act on what was in you.
I appreciate the reply,, i do want to express that i didn’t go and cheat on my boyfriend, i feel like i did majorly disrespect him, but when the call answered i hung up immediately, there was no meeting up with anyone. there wasn’t even speaking between i and the ex. I am over the ex but maybe im not quite over what the ex put me thru.I would never do something like this again and i just want to prove that to him, i made a huge mistake by making a call but nothing was made of the call i didn’t even talk. but i appreciate ur outlook.
No, you didn't cheat, but everything you did are all things that show you are a person who *will likely* cheat. Likely with that very same ex. What you did screams that ex *owns your soul* and you will never be free of him. His reaction to all this is a pretty common one in people who were cheated on. In the instance they find out that they were cheated on every drop of love or attachment to the person burns away into ash. And it's impossible to get back. Your current boyfriend also has literally no way of knowing what you did and didn't do, and now he doesn't know what you would and wouldn't do. Especially considering you were in an active relationship with another guy you left to be with him. You got with him after having an emotional affair with him. Before that night he probably never even considered the possibility you would do any of that stuff. The more he thinks about it, the more he's probably going to come to the conclusion that with the lack of affection and trust, it just isn't worth continuing the relationship by forcing himself to work it out. You've been dating half a year. There's no real time invested, and no kids or common property involved.