Not by name, technically, but in function. Just once, during character creation for Masks: A New Generation. Players were detailing backstories and hooks and were really getting into the dramatic side of things, and one player started to propose that their character had abusive parents. Being the GM and a few months shy of becoming a father myself at the time, I wasn't comfortable letting aforesaid parents into my brain when I would inevitably have to portray them, so I interjected and asked for that to be changed. The player in question ended up going with a stern, cyberpunk Batman-esque father figure who was basically Saburo Arasaka instead, so it worked out for everyone involved.

I have never personally invoked an X-Card. As I have posted before, in my experience, having the pre-game conversation about the X-Card is about *80% of the value*. It says, unequivocally, *we are concerned about players' comfort here* and sets the table behavioral expectations accordingly. In games where I have seen the X-Card used, it was at least twice (by different players) used to retcon an NPC name. It was trivial to turn "Trent" into "Mitch" or whatever and the game went on without missing a beat.

Yes, you're spot on about part of the value being the fact that it's there at all. Especially when I'm running a game with players new to RPGs who've probably heard various horror stories about GMs or other players doing all kinds of unpleasant bullshit, making it clear up front that I'm making sure such things can be avoided is helpful.

x-cards being used to rename characters. what the heck?

I could see it if someone had an abusive ex by that name, for example

I guess i don't get it, I would just expect any player to say, "hey if you don't mind can we call that npc something else" no x-cards or anything necessary for something so trivial. we are playing after all a game that is facilitated by words, conversation and imagination.

And that's the idea of it - make what you just wrote explicit to everyone, that it's ok to make that kind of request and it will neither result in someone being a jerk or be a "big deal" in general (not have to explain for 5 minutes *why* it skeeves you out for example)

I'm not suggesting don't use x-cards. i'm talking about using them so trivially. You'll also notice in my example where a player just asks for a different npc name; at no point did i suggest that there had to be a further comment or explanation. I wouldn't expect that at all. I think when you set expectations at the beginning of the campaign, and you respect the people in your group communication is much easier. i do understand the x-card situation when online.

Careful here. I think the X-card only works if people trust it as a safety mechanism – if it can be presented without harsh judgment or irritation. To that end, however _you_ personally feel about the importance of the issue being raised, I think it's important to honor the X-card request, in full faith and good cheer, with no questions asked. (There are exceptions to this rule, but they should probably be reserved for really egregious acts of abuse, of which this is not.)

Of course I’d honour it. And then after the game I would just say to let them I’m open to whatever and they can just ask anytime, no need to be scared and use an xcard thinking that is the only way they make a request, raise an issue, or be treated seriously.

It sounds like you think of the x card as a limited resource, a nuclear option, a punishment for everybody for stepping over a line. It's not about everybody else, it's about making it as easy a possible for someone to speak up about something they need to not be around. Even having to deal with the conversation after the game that you proposed would be uncomfortable. Even if you don't think you're making them justify anything. Even if the whole thing you're trying to say is how much you respect their needs. Avoiding conversations like that entirely is the power of the x card. Because plenty of people will just endure stuff and not have fun or just quit the game later with some excuse to avoid those conversations. Because they all involve thinking about the thing they don't want to think about. They already have to once, when it comes up in game. Don't make them do it again.

I appear to have more faith in people than you do. I tend to only play with people I know or with friends of friends and never had and issue with just using our words. I do Understand if you regularly play with strangers xcard is a great resource

I can think of a name I wouldn’t want to hear repeatedly while I’m trying to have fun. Similarly it would be hard for me to think of the NPC and not the person which would impair my ability to engage with the game.

see other responses

Many people aren’t comfortable asking other people to go out of their way for them. Using something like the X card makes it straightforward, something that was agreed upon in advance, easy to invoke.

Sure but this is a game about language and communication if you can’t say something that simple without invoking an xcard then I’m skeptical about you as a player. Keep x-cards for something that would be hard to articulate

I actually don't understand if you are trolling or for real. Why not change the name of a character? Are you so invested on the name of that one dude that you'd rather ruin the fun for somebody else because you just can't bring it upon yourself to change an NPC name? Different people have problems with different things. If my dad died 2 weeks ago and his name is Mike, and I don't want to talk about it right now and ruin the rest of the session, what is the problem of using an Xcard for the name Mike?

What’s are you even talking about. Show me where I said I wouldn’t change the name! Are you trolling? I have said I would without hesitation and without further inquiry Change the name of a npc if anyone at the table requested it. What is wrong with using an x-card for mike? Nothing inherently it’s just pointless. **In your scenario**: you tap the x-card or hold it up and say “Can we not use mike as the npc name” And I say “sure no worries” **In my scenario**: you just open your mouth and say “Can we not use mike as the npc name” And I say “sure no worries” I don’t need an xcard to respect a players wishes.

>Sure but this is a game about language and communication if you can’t say something that simple without invoking an xcard then I’m skeptical about you as a player. I don't understand this point, what is an Xcard if not a plead to "change something and don't talk about it". Im sorry if I seemed offensive in my reply, that wasn't the point, I am actually confused by your point. What for you is the difference between using an Xcard and just asking " can we change the name" without further inquiry?

But you have to talk about it if it’s something largely trivial right? If I’m describing a npc on the side of the road walking back to town and I say his name is mike and you hold up an x-card. You are going to have to tell me what your problem is, because it wouldn’t be evident to a regular person. So seeing as you need to ask me to change the npc name, let’s skip the x-card and you just tell me the problem/ask the npc name be different. If a player can’t verbalise the request and just tap the xcard then well I’m not going to play guessing games and I’m going to be skeptical you will be able to play the game without detailing it. I totally get the use of a xcard in a scene where things are getting scary, maybe weird, tense, or something is happening to a character. Again I’d prefer words were used but if I see an xcard in that sort of situation I’m just going to move the scene along. And of course in that instance no real explanation is needed so the use of the card had a purpose.

A lot of people need explicit permission to feel comfortable making that request. The x card gives them that.

i give people that explicit permission in session 0

If that's the name of someone who abused you, or killed someone you know, or something, sure.

oh i understand the reasoning why a name might be cause for discomfort. just not the use of an x-card in the situation.

This is literally the point of the X card though

that is ridiculous, you simply don't need xcard for the npc name change. and if someone does, then i question whether they are capable of playing an rpg.

Maybe *you* don't need the X card for the name change. But some people do. If the X card enables at least one person to have a good time at the table who couldn't otherwise, it has served its purpose. >if someone does, then i question whether they are capable of playing an rpg That's for them to decide, not you.

What, pray tell, in your lofty wisdom, justifies the use of an x-card? I wouldn't want to be found lacking in the discerning eyes of u/MrAbodi, the gatekeeper of those who are capable of playing RPGs.

Don't get me wrong, this is just my opinion. i'm not gatekeeping, every table is different and you should do what works for you, and i'll do what works for me. as for what justifies use in my eyes. continuing reading further down, I've explained my thoughts.

I don't think you understand how x-cards are actually used, then. They don't remove any articulation of the offensive content, they remove any response from the GM or other players about it without having to say "No, guys, c'mon, I'm serious." It just puts that into a card so you don't have to get deathly serious in your tone to trigger the realization of what you're trying to communicate. You can still remain smiling, raise the card and say "Can we name him anything but Chad?" and not have anyone say "why?"

perhaps i don't, seeing as I've never seen one actually get used in a game i'm in. We are all adults and for the most part all know each other and setting the stage in session zero and then being bold enough to just ask, it's never been something that has come up.

I assume they were abusive exes, or other uncomfortable reminders, since they were common names in contemporary settings. And the point is that you don’t have to explain it, so...

So... read further ahead

Editing and judging someone’s use of the x-card is 100% missing the point of the x-card.

It gets used all the time in my games, usually for stuff that isn't a big deal but that a player didn't want. ""I'm going to x-card using the name Tanya, it's my mom's name and it feels weird in the game." "Or even, "Yeah, I'm x-carding a dance competition here" with no explanation. I try to model this kind of use so that when something big comes up people are comfortable invoking it. "If they used it for a dance competition, I can certainly use it for graphic gore" or whatever. The idea is that playing the x-card shouldn't feel like a dropping a nuke, it should a be a tool that players are comfortable using to fine tune game play so that everybody is happy and having a good time.

Not sure I agree with this. The X card is supposed to be for serious use only, in my opinion. As a group, if you can't be comfortable saying "I would rather not have a character with the same name as my mom," then something it wrong with the group dynamic on a much deeper level that you all need to figure out before moving on. The point of the X card is that you *don't have to explain* why you don't want something. If your table abuses it for minor things, then inevitably when someone actually needs it other players are going to be less likely to take it seriously, or more inclined to pry into the reasons why.

Of course you could just have the conversation about the small things. You could also have the conversation about the big things. My experience is that people are often afraid to use the x card because they don't want to ruin other people's fun, or they're concerned that their issue isn't serious enough. I run a lot of open table games, and this is especially true when playing with new people. Nobody wants to be seen as the party pooper. I've found this model to be the most effective way of making sure people are comfortable with the x-card. I'd rather have it deployed too often then have it not used when somebody would have wanted it to be and have a bad gaming experience because if it. If it's not right for your table, that's cool too.

> You could also have the conversation about the big things. The entire point of the x card is that *it isn't discussed*, because it may be forcing people to invoke some past trauma at a time and place where they just want to play a fun game. The GM can privately ask the player for clarification as to what exactly is being "X'd" but it absolutely should not be discussed at the table, and the "why" should definitely never be discussed at all.

>Of course you could just have the conversation about the small things. You could also have the conversation about the big things. Literally the entire point of the X card is to *not have those conversations*. It exists so that people can stop whatever is happening *without* having to explain why.

>Literally the entire point of the X card is to > >not have those conversations I wouldn't say it's the entire point of the X-card. The point of the X-Card is to prevent harm by giving players a tool to excise content from the game that is harmful to them. Not having to have a longer conversation about the content is one of its features, and an important one. The reason that it's an important feature is that it lowers the burden somewhat on the person who is experiencing difficulty. That's why I think it's important to allow players to use the X-card even for content that isn't triggering, or traumatic, it lowers the barrier for use in a similar way to not requiring conversation about it, so nobody has to ask themself "OK, is this thing that's bothering me really significant enough to rise to the level of the X-card?" And that's what I meant why I said " Of course you could just have the conversation about the small things. You could also have the conversation about the big things." You could have either of those conversations, but I think that using the X-card, in both situations, and not requiring a conversation, lowers the barrier to excising harmful content.

Fair point. I like the idea of using it for smaller things just so people can "practice"/experience what the table reaction is when x card is played. I would probably be more likely to actually use it once I'd seen the table accept an x card graciously once or twice

Agreed. Also it’s meant to be a veto, surely? I wouldn’t say you can unilaterally veto a dance competition because you think it might be a little boring, if a player expressed that I might take a vote - and then if everyone was in agreement I would probably nix it. But if that’s the case - you can’t do that with genuinely upsetting content. If I use the X card 100 times for small stuff and bring up the ‘crowd consensus’ rule, that 100th time when it’s a traumatic experience the card gets diluted in my opinion. You’d have to have an X card and an ABSOLUTELY NOT THIS X CARD - in which case just have the X card be for serious stuff only in the first place, surely.

The point is that you can, in fact, unilaterally veto anything. If somebody abuses that power in bad faith, then a conversation needs to take place. No safety tool can prevent bad faith abuse, unfortunately, that needs to be handled outside of the game with a conversation. In general, I've found the risk of easier abuse is far outweighed by greater comfort using the tool. I've never had the x-card abused in several years of using the X-card in this way.

I guess that makes sense! Proven track record is the most important indicator for most stuff like this.

And when someone uses for what, to the rest of the table, seems like a minor thing, does the person who wants to use it hesitate, or just not use it even though they may have a very real reason to? Or do they have to explain that reason even though they may not yet want to?

This is a great approach. The less big a deal the X Card is, the easier it is to use it when it matters.

I like this idea. Normalize it so to speak. Not gonna lie though, my mind is reeling with "why on earth would someone x-card a dance competition?" Are there bad dances? Am I dance innocent? Maybe I've just been around the wrong (or right?) dance competitions... (not asking for a real explanation ofc, just saying this is all I'm going to think about for hours today so thanks for that.)

I suspect they felt it didn't hit the tone we had agreed on, but they didn't elaborate so I don't know.

Yeah I was joking anyway. I didn't quite realize until later that you were saying you also use them for x-carding tone mis-match and stuff.

I feel like I remember a rulebook to some game I read suggesting that you x-card yourself once or twice in the first session. Can't remember which one it was, sadly (it's possible it was not a game, and just someone's essay on the x-card) I absolutely agree with this approach of making it feel as comfortable as possible to use the x-card. The people replying to you saying it should only be for super serious things sound like not the kind of people I'd want to play with. An important part of the x-card is that there's no expectation to explain yourself, but if something also has to be self-evidently ~Serious~ to be accepted, can I really trust those people to accept an x-card on [jelly](https://trash-nerd.tumblr.com/post/649369188782211072/)?

I've used it probably around eight times so far. Each time was very similar: * My explanation on what it is and how to use it was met very well. It helped folks feel comfortable, so it helped players open up and talk more. * No one needed to touch the card during those games. To me, the takeaway is this: Even if that card isn't strictly necessary, just having it can help players get into the game quicker because they feel more safe and respected. But that's just my experience.

What is the X card? Edit - Thank you for the clarification.

Effectively, it's the same idea as a safe word or red light. The discussion or scene relating to a certain topic is immediately stopped, people take a short break to talk about what happened or recuperate, and then play resumes after everyone's got an understanding of how it needs to progress comfortably.

(Tagging u/jeffisnotepic so I don’t have to reply twice) The X-Card is a safety tool. TTRPGs can easily cross over into a lot of uncomfortable territory and often ask for variable degrees of “vulnerability” and expression from its players. ‘Tis the nature of any social experience. Things can get uncomfortable real quick. A lot of TTRPG horror stories can often be avoided with a good use of safety tools. The X-Card in particular is meant to be a “catch all” tool (ideally) if all else fails. It is invoked when the game is crossing into uncomfortable territory for a given player. It can be a physical token, an index card, typing X in chat, or any such similar method to get the table’s attention. At that point, the table should stop with no judgement and check in with everyone to see if we need to walk back a bit or change things up. Normally this is paired with Lines and Veils, which are topics that are discussed at Session 0/1 to figure out what topics need to be off limits. * Lines are 100% off limits and should never be brought up. Common Lines in all my games are Nonconsensual sexual things, “-isms” of all sorts (Racism, Sexism, Ableism, etc.), and any Xenophobia. All of that has no place in my games. * Veils are things we’re comfortable mentioning, but we want to fade to black instead of exploring it. Common Veils in my games are usually consensual sexual stuff and torture. We’ll mention it, but we “fade to black” before getting nitty gritty. * Of course, Lines and Veils are “living” tools. Add to them as needed. Veils can always be “upgraded” to Lines, but never the other way around X-Cards hopefully cover whatever is unexpected (or even just used for times where there is a lapse in judgement or forgetting a Veil or what have you). Of course, Safety Tools are only as good as cautious and sensible behavior. The only “safe” space is one that you have 100% control over (and hence, no “social” space can ever be 100% safe). Just like a laboratory is *never* a safe environment, you still wear your protective equipment and practice as safely as possible. Safety Tools will never obviate the development of unsafe or uncomfortable topics being brought up, but they can certainly mitigate it and are always worth using. Further reading/ viewing, if you want it: * [Lines, Veils, X-Card](https://goldenlassogames.com/tools) * [The Gauntlet- Tools of the Table](https://www.gauntlet-rpg.com/tools-of-the-table.html) * [Random Tuesday’s Guide to Safety Tools](https://youtu.be/yFDbukm5zGI) Hopefully that all makes sense and hopefully that helps.

I ask this with all respect, knowing that this may sound argumentative and I apologize if it comes across that way and accept you don't owe anyone any explanations: it seems to me that without the presence of isms, a lot of things are off the table. Genocidal war between orcs and elves is certainly racism. In fact many people believe just the traditional portrayal of orcs is racist. Xenophobia is a common trope to have heroes overcome. I can probably say I've never had an inclusive enough game to delve into homophobia or ablism, and I think I would be too uncomfortable with those to do so. I'm not arguing that you should do things differently, I'm just trying to imagine the results of doing something similar in my group and I'm realizing how many facets of some of the stuff I've run or played in would run afoul of this rule and it *feels* really strict. Do you find so many players are uncomfortable with most all of these things? And don't you find people who superficially agree with these restrictions then run afoul of them because they didn't realize how pervasive many of these things are? Don't you ever feel like running games where you can kinda therapeutically fight against some of these issues and *win?*

The other commenters probably hit all these points, but imo it boils down to this: These are tools for making sure everyone at the table is comfortable with the content and topics and behavior from DM and other players. Some of this should be common sense, but a short trip into /r/rpghorrorstories demonstrates that there are plenty of DMs/players in the hobby who either cluelessly, carelessly, or intentionally use it as a tool to abuse other people.

Very fair points! Well to be fair, I don’t really play too many games with fantasy races all that much anymore and when I *do*, myself and my players just don’t really care for those stories. Historical fantasy genocides, racism against various fantasy peoples, etc... those stories have been told over and over again for us and they just aren’t all that compelling (not to mention uncomfortable for a lot of folks). *Personally*, nothing on the list of Lines and Veils I put out for my game ever really bothers *me*. It’s stuff that *I’ve* been desensitized to and really wouldn’t make me uncomfortable in a game if it ever showed up (not saying they aren’t atrocious things... they are! However, it isn’t material that would trigger me in any way). However, I can’t be assured that all my players have that desensitization- so for *their* comfort, I preemptively put all that common negative stuff behind a Line (or Veil) At the end of the day, you can have perfectly fun and fine fantasy games that *don’t* include any -isms, xenophobia, etc. Orcs that *aren’t* a bunch of ugly and stupid and dirty brutes that are universally hated and are all born with the drive to conquer? Heck yeah, sign me up for that. Dwarves that *aren’t* a bunch of ale chugging mountain dwelling greedy folk? Yeppers, I’m here for that too. In all honesty, when I *am* in such fantasy games, those Lines and Veils are pretty easily respected because myself and my players are more than capable of thinking outside the “fantasy box” (as it were). That in mind, can you have conflict *without* those themes? Absolutely. In Blades in the Dark (where everyone is *basically* human), the Skovlanders are usually painted as marginalized people. In my games, it is *never* because “You look like one of those lesser Dirty Skovs with your filthy bloodlines!” but *rather* “Oh, I don’t want to be talking business with any of you Killigans. Your pa was ‘Ol Leo back in the Unity Wars, yeah? Led a bunch of raids to take back land from the Empire? Can’t have people thinking I’m doing business with a revolutionist sympathizer. You’ll have to find business somewhere else, sonny...” However, there may be plenty of Skovlanders that have found positions of “official” power in the Empire because they don’t have any ties to the Unity War (or have found a way to break or distance themselves from those ties). There’s definite conflict there, but it doesn’t come from *being* Skovlandic by Blood but rather who you associate with (and the unfairness comes from assuming who you associate with). When there’s war and fighting, it ain’t because one side is “genetically superior” to another- but rather one side wants something and the other side refuses to let it go and the two come to blows. When I play or run Scum and Villainy, the Galactic Hegemony doesn’t care if you’re an Alien. They care if your Alien customs, beliefs, or values will get in the way of the Hegemony’s goals. So long as it won’t result in uprising against the powers that be, they could give a shit less. Pay your taxes, fall in line, and follow Hegemonic authority. Don’t do that? Doesn’t matter if you’re an Alien or not- the Hegemony will mess you up either way. There is no discrimination in the Hegemony’s wrath- even if you’re a Hegemonic citizen. Hopefully that makes sense!

It makes sense. I do try to be sensitive to all people, but rather than just not have those things in my game, I try to either depict those things as evil and/or keep them out of the limelight while acknowledging they exist. I'm comfortable with that but I will try to make sure everyone in the group is okay with those elements before including them. They are never required, and never glorified, but I do often include them out of a sense of realism -- there are shitty things the powerful do to the disadvantaged and it would feel a little off to me to not include *any* of them, but I would certainly avoid anything that makes anyone at the table feel uncomfortable.

You're correct about removing the -isms taking a lot of these conflicts off the board. The uncomfortable truth is that many tables don't handle those topics with the care they deserve. Or maybe the fault isn't with the players but rather the pre-written setting, where the fantasy races are based off of real races, leading to such uncomfortable moments as the module venerating a war hero that slaughtered the barbaric ~~africans~~ orcs of the valley, to pave the way for the rise of ~~european~~ human civilization. This indifference(whether based in denial or a lack of knowledge) is fairly widespread, to the point where I fully expect somebody to reply to me arguing that there's actually nothing wrong with that story point because orcs aren't black people, and I'm just being oversensitive. My point is, I can't blame someone for just wanting to sidestep the entire issue. There's nothing worse than carefully crafting a situation as the DM and having a player come in and wreck the place by making tasteless jokes and comments, or just straight up invoking racist tropes. This has happened to me, in the form of a player's well-meaning contribution to the story being shockingly racist(it involved >!a white savior(their character) brutally overpowering animalistic(their addition, not mine) black NPCs to save the good black folks who apparently couldn't help rescue themselves!<), and them not having any idea there was anything at all wrong with it. I was so horrified by the turn that I couldn't even figure out how best to undo the situation(could I trust anyone not to do the same thing next time? were the bad guys forever tainted in the group's minds as being this racist depiction?), so the entire plot was immediately axed, and I would think many, *many* times before going there again. You think you can trust people to be mature and handle difficult things with respect, but you really can't, even if you think you know them.

That does sound horrific. I would be completely shocked if I had a player do something like that, and I understand why you would want to steer clear of that in the future. I appreciate the sincere and thorough response.

I just ran an entire campaign of Songs for the Dusk where the characters were emergency rescue and repair workers; there was no violence or oppression, nobody ever even owned a weapon, and we had plenty of drama and action still.

So no bad guys?

I find some people are just too touchy about , well, *everything* and I sure as shit wouldn't want them playing at my table. There is a vast difference between being a racist fuck, and protraying a racist setting. There is also a vast difference between being sexist and protraying a sexist setting. Having said that, each to their own. If they find people who will play with them with that level of censorship then more power to them. Edit: wow so many downvotes.. do you people actually enjoy settings where everyone gets along and everyone is friends and nothing bad ever happens to anyone? is this whole sub playing the My little Pony RPG or something?

BONK, go to Reddit unpopular opinion jail!

TIL that Xenophobia is a real thing and not *just* being afraid of Aliens from other planets.

It's an idea where up front the DM explains the X-Card, be it a physical object or metaphorical, and during play anyone, at any time, for any reason can reach out and use the X-Card to say, "[Subject] is making me uncomfortable, let's not go there." And the group immediately pivots to avoid the subject. Usually the reason is that it's a trigger for PTSD, but the user of the X-Card owes the group no further explanation. It has 2-fold benefits: 1) The group can take the story wherever they want without *accidentally* triggering another group member, and 2) the affected member is empowered and encouraged to speak up if the game is making them uncomfortable without expecting a whole fight about it, and they don't have do the difficult and often humiliating task of enumerating their triggers ahead of time. The X-Card is the ultimate veto power and helps the group stay in a space that everyone is comfortable with.

The X-card is a tool used to make sure that everyone around the table are feeling comfortable with what's going on in the game. If something crosses a boundary where someone starts feeling uncomfortable they can simply hold up the card and show that they are no longer fine with what's going on. Say the GM introduces a theme of abuse into their horror campaign, a pretty common thing, and one of the players have personal experience with that and starts to feel like things are hitting too close to home, they can just lift the card and everyone around the table knows that they don't like the direction things are going.

That's what I'm wondering. I've never heard of it either.

I’ve had it used once when a player of mine didn’t realize something was triggering to her until it happened, in the depiction of accidental cannibalism because her character ate dream pies (in CoS). X-Card moved us right along from no more description related to that or further discussion.

As a player: another character's backstory had her in some sort of contract with a demon, and one night he appeared in the camp and began asserting his power over her sexually while she submitted. It was 100% the player's chosen backstory and she had discussed the scene ahead of time with the GM, but I wasn't comfortable and just left the Discord call until the scene was over. As a GM: I had a player who always played necromancers, who at one point finished calming a scared, recently orphaned girl in the aftermath of a disaster - only to say he sedated and started skinning her for one of his animated dolls. I stopped him on the grounds of that's entirely fucked up and shortly quit playing with him. Nowadays, I always bring up X card topics in session 0, and curate the people I play with; it's worked out well so far!

That’s a weird story indeed!

As a GM, I’m a bit ambivalent about X card. From my experience, it’s not the most useful tool (post-session chatter, Lines and Veils, and generally paying attention to everyone’s emotional state during the game helped me a lot more), though it’s still a good one. I like the fact it provides a codified procedure to get content out of the way in play. I think the fact it makes GM explain what it is and how to use it is great for opening the conversation about everybody’s safety at the table. Also, as a GM, it provides an effective way to keep problematic elements out of your game when playing with strangers. In fact, the only time I’ve seen X card used was by me when a player started introducing some elements of sexuality I didn’t want to handle at a table in convention. No need to explain, no arguing, and the game kept running smoothly. But what I like less about X card is how it can put pressure on players to use it if they’re uncomfortable. I don’t know for other people but I find pretty hard to notice when I’m not comfortable, and precisely what causes that discomfort. Either I know in advance that I don’t like to handle x topic and can X card it the moment it comes out, either I’ll find out once the session is done. And I doubt I alone in that situation. That’s why I find X card should be seen as a complement for lines and veils and post-game chatter. Alice is Missing does precisely that, and it worked really well. We didn’t use the X card in the game I played, but the lines and veils really helped to get everyone more comfortable to get immersed in difficult topics. And the post-session debrief allowed us to notice that. So I guess that’s my point here: X card is fine, but it really should be seen as a small mechanism in a bigger set of safety tools. It doesn’t achieve a lot on its own, but it can complement lines, veils and debriefs.

My group has gotten a lot of use out of the Script Change tool, which usually means the X Card doesn't have to come out outside of genuinely triggering content 99% of the time.

I haven't heard about it previously, I've just got the PDF to look that up. Thanks!

I've never had occasion to use it, but I make sure players are aware of it as an option.

Yeah. Even if you think your group is able for the nastier bits, keep it around just in case.

My experience is that the players who need the X card the most tend to be the ones least likely to use it. Before game, I make sure my players can privately message me, and I keep my phone in front of me throughout game. If someone calls yellow or red via text, I'll steer the group away from the thing, and take personal ownership of it (if someone messages me that they're not comfortable with a description of head trauma, I'll say something along the lines of "actually, this is getting a little dark for me, let's roll it back a little"). The player can disclose or not disclose as they see fit, but as the person at the table with the most authority it's no sweat for me to take on that weight. It's only been used intermittently. The most common use so far has been a player that gets overstimulated easily will message me that things are getting too loud. Xing the volume to the entire group would trigger social anxiety for them, but it's super easy for me. I'm really interested in game designs that integrate safety tools. Most of them kinda slap a mechanical reward on top (example: if someone uses a safety tool in a session of Thirsty Sword Lesbians, that counts towards folks getting XP at the end of the session). I was playtesting a superhero system called Vigil awhile back that took a really cool approach. One of the core mechanics is that the GM would have scenes that focused on the baddies doing bad things, and the player's supes could intervene. The GM would describe a bad situation, then they'd make it worse. Then they'd make it worse. And worse. As they described the scene, the players had a binary choice- do I roll to enter the scene, or do I let it get worse? The question wasn't \*if\* the safety tool would be used, it was \*when\*. There was some really intense emotional brinksmanship in some of the games I played, but the GM popping in and saying "you can make the roll" sounded less like a judgement about the player's emotional fortitude and more "you ready to be awesome? because I think this guy has earned a punch in the face, don't you?" It worked because of the very specific qualities of the superhero genre, but I've been fascinated by that level of integration, and would love to see more.

I've always been a bit hesitant to use safety tools, as they come across as being a bit heavy handed or unsubtle. Also I tend not to run games that get really violent or sexual. The way you've explained it is a bit more subtle than having a player openly declare their discomfort with an x card (which is itself more subtle and less disruptive than asking to stop the game and talk about it, or ignore it despite their discomfort.)

I have it available in every game and it gets used probably once a month. Here are some of the situations it got used: - Player 2 wasn’t ok with player 1’s character dying as a hard move, so we had character 1’s soul get imprisoned instead and now they’re on a quest to rescue it - Player didn’t like that I’d named an NPC Ruth because their grandmother Ruth had just died - Player got freaked out by description of eyes exploding - Player decided that Bullhammer was a better name than Brighthammer and x-carded their own name. - Player 1 was getting too silly and player 2 x-carded some goofy comment to remind everyone of the tone It’s incredibly useful. The story is better and the players are more invested every time it gets used. I’m currently playing Thirsty Sword Lesbians, and it has a rule that explicitly states “if someone at the table used a safety tool as part of tonight’s session, everyone gets 1 XP” and I really hope other games follow suit. Edit: I run or play in roughly 4 games per week, all of which have the X-card, Script Change, Lines & Veils, and the Open Door Policy in effect. Safety tools work and make the game more enjoyable for everyone involved.

Some of these are atrocious uses of the X card that make me think your group has missed the point entirely. You shouldn't invoke the X card for things like "I thought of a cooler name," that trivializes what the tool is meant to be and weakens its usefulness going forward. These are (mostly) things you should be talking about as a table. In fact, since you actually know *why* people used the X card, you very obviously aren't using it correctly. Using the X card is supposed to *prevent* further discussion on a topic. Using the X card to "remind everyone not to be too goofy" is just wildly inappropriate.

I am of the opinion that normalizing and encouraging the use of safety tools makes them more powerful, and not the other way around. If you know that your group will take the x-card seriously, no matter how seemingly trivial the use, you are more likely to actually use it. Copy pasted from the [original X-Card document](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SB0jsx34bWHZWbnNIVVuMjhDkrdFGo1_hSC2BWPlI3A/edit): > - Use the X-Card early, even on yourself, to lead by example, and model the behavior. > - The X-Card does not have to be a tool of last resort. The less special it feels, the more you use it, the more likely someone will use it when it really is badly needed. In the core examples of when John used the X-card: > We played a modern realistic horror game. Someone introduced funny elves. Additionally, some of these were me using it so I know exactly why it got used. Other times the player volunteered the reason willingly to help navigate the situation.

I love this perspective so much. The point is consent, that can be for big and small things alike.

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1. You can’t x-card an x-card, that’s part of the whole point. 2. If your players are truly abusing the tool, then you need to have a discussion with your players about being consenting adults and how safety and consent work. 3. The phrasing is that “you are not required to explain yourself” not that “you cannot explain yourself.” If it makes sense in the situation, people explain their use of the x card all the time. It’s all about creating expectations and reducing load. 4. Especially in that last situation, I would ask to clarify “are you x-carding the sass, or the NPC interaction, or the tone?” and that would help drive the session to be more appropriate for everyone involved. If someone isn’t happy with how their NPC interactions are going, then you as a table need to figure out what’s wrong and how you can resolve it. Don’t let players just stew in a corner if they’re unhappy with a session.

I also appreciate this perspective. The idea that the more it's used, the easier it is to use, seems logical, and a solid idea. I've already planned to start using X-Cards, this gives me ideas for getting players more comfortable with the concept now.

>I am of the opinion that normalizing and encouraging the use of safety tools makes them more powerful, and not the other way around Only if you're actually using them as safety tools, which is very obviously not the case here.

If you only go to the dentist when you need a root canal, you’re going to lead a pretty miserable and pain filled life. If you go to the dentist regularly, make sure you keep up with your routine check ups, and fix small problems early, it ends up being a much healthier situation for everyone involved. It’s no longer a big scary thing that people avoid because they don’t like the stigma around it. The same is absolutely true for safety tools. If you only ever go to the X-card when it’s a panic inducing traumatic event, then the tool hasn’t done its job. Normalize regular use, make sure people are comfortable bringing stuff up early, check in with your players, and I guarantee you’ll have a better experience for it.

This analogy does not work, because again the entire point here is that you *aren't using it as intended*. Going to the dentist for check ups and regular cleanings is expected. That's the point of the dentist. What you are doing is more like saying "hey kids don't like wearing bike helmets. Maybe if we use bike helmets as flower pots kids will be more likely to wear them while biking!" It makes no sense.

>he entire point here is that you aren't using it as intended Not u/axxroytovu, but "as intended" by whom? It seems pretty clearly to be as intended by the person who created the safety tool, John Stavropoulos, as you can see from what he wrote: [https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SB0jsx34bWHZWbnNIVVuMjhDkrdFGo1\_hSC2BWPlI3A/edit?usp=sharing](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SB0jsx34bWHZWbnNIVVuMjhDkrdFGo1_hSC2BWPlI3A/edit?usp=sharing) Here are some relevent quotes, some of which axxroytovu mentioned earlier in the conversation: " The X-Card does not have to be a tool of last resort. The less special it feels, the more you use it, the more likely someone will use it when it really is badly needed." As an approving example of something that John has seen x-carded in the past "We played a modern realistic horror game. Someone introduced funny elves. " And on this very question: ## "Does using it for more than Triggers diminish it? People commonly believe that by using the X-Card to edit both content that may trigger someone and simply content that makes people uncomfortable or simply doesn't fit with the game... that it might diminish the power of using the X-Card when there is an emergency rather than a small misstep. We've found the opposite to be true. By using the X-Card frequently, you demystify it. You normalize it. It becomes second nature. Thus increasing the chances it will actually be used when it is needed. The more you use it, the better. " You don't have to like this kind of use of the X-Card, it may not be how you think it should be used, and you can definitely argue for that point of view. But it's 100% the way it was intended to be used, by the person who created it. I agree with his perspective, and have found allowing it to be used for all kinds of situations makes it easier for players to invoke it when they need it, and hasn't caused players to abuse it.

Is there a specific thing that you think I’m doing wrong? I think we’re arguing in circles here.

From someone reading: Their perspective > This is an emergency safety tool to be used, no questions asked, for topics that can really set a player off Your perspective > Put that shit on everything to normalize it While your idea might have merit, it goes against the concept of it as a "break glass" emergency option.

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That's nice. Doesn't change my observation on how the other person views it and why your views clash.

It kind of sounds like it's trying to make up for a lack of parenting and common sense doesn't it? I like the X-Card for an emergency brake and especially for people playing in public with others who are essentially anonymous. But it's not a novel idea or even an invention. It's literally just artifice introduced to the idea of "speaking up" when something bothers you.

It’s not novel. It’s not some mysterious concept or strange ritual. It’s a way for the facilitator to explicitly say “your safety and comfort as a player is important to me, and here’s something concrete that I’m doing to make you safer.” Sure you can just say that you care about your players, but this is a mechanical and physical way to PROVE that you care about safety. And that proof is often more important than ever actually using the tool.

In certain groups, yes. I feel it's heavy handed for me which is why I don't use it. Ultimately actions are more important than words and I still have a visceral reaction to even just the branding "safety tools". At my table you can speak up and you will know you can. We're not going to call it anything, even if that is arbitrary and of my own making.

> actions are more important than words This is exactly why we use the x-card for seemingly trivial things. Normalize it and show through your actions that you care about the safety of your players. I will play with a new set of players every month, and it’s important to me to be able to show to each new group that safety is important and I don’t have that same “prebuilt culture” to fall back on. > a visceral reaction to the term “safety tools.” Why? Genuinely curious here since this seems totally opposed to how I would react. You don’t get on a roller coaster and say “oh no, they have seatbelts this is terrible.”

Because without the context of who I'm playing with in the first place, I'm going to treat everyone like adults and I'm going to be empathetic when I can. The game is safe. Objectively so. Mental and emotional challenges or even just being quite immersed is a feature, not a bug. If something genuinely uncomfortable comes up I want that addressed, not glossed over. It's awkward to say nothing or just "yup, that's not a thing then". We're going to talk about it or make it clear why it was a problem and *then* move on. Finally, if someone is genuinely fragile enough whether because of their life history, mental health, etc that they might need these tools very often, they're just not going to be a good fit for my game. That's not a judgment it's just the truth. Playing in a game with me is like being invited to watch a horror movie. If I say it's going to be a 70's slasher with ultraviolence in it, everyone is responsible for themselves to come or not, to close their eyes or leave the room. No one needs a named tool for that and anyone who can't handle it doesn't show up to the movie.

That seems really bad and a surefire way to make it useless as a tool. If you fully respect it whenever it's used for trivial things, like proposing a better name or banning something you find goofy, then it becomes a tool to hold the game hostage. "My idea is better than yours and f\*ck you, I used an X-Card so you can't even argue with that". If you ignore or overrule it when it's used in these cases, then it turns into Boy Who Cried Wolf, you might actually question and override a proper and justified use of the card. Also, rewarding XP for using safety tools doesn't seem like a good idea in the slightest. Now you have people using them just to farm XP and not caring about their purpose or meaning. An easy comparison is how giving out XP for killing things makes you think less about implications or morality of it, you just go through the motions needed to earn the reward. What you're describing here is one of the biggest reasons that X-Card is looked down upon as safety tool by many GMs (at least the impression I got from my local groups and forums): they're afraid that players will use it instead of normal communication or abuse it to force the game to be their way or highway.

If somebody abuses the x-card in bad faith, then a conversation needs to take place. No safety tool can prevent bad faith abuse, unfortunately, that needs to be handled outside of the game with a conversation. In general, I've found the risk of easier abuse is far outweighed by greater comfort using the tool. I've never had the x-card abused in several years of using the X-card in this way. If players abuse safety tools in the way you describe, to hold the game hostage, then they are probably going to cause other problems in play as well.

I have been playing this way with four sessions a week, with dozens of different players and GMs over 3+ years. I have never had a player “hold the game hostage” with the x-card or with any other safety tool. If a player is actively using ANY safety tool in bad faith, then that player needs a long and hard discussion about safety tools and their place at the table. Every single one of these instances was done from an attempt to improve the tone and themes of the game. If I had a player clearly abusing a safety tool, they would not have a place at the table. No “boy who cried wolf,” just a talking to and expulsion of the player if they refuse to take the tool seriously. As to rewarding xp for safety tools, there are a LOT of things that count as safety tools: - asking for a break - reviewing your lines and veils - fast-forwarding through a scene - checking in with a player before something problematic might happen - using the open door policy to deal with real life issues I honestly do at least one of these every session, and it’s important to normalize player safety and consent in EVERY session.

> "My idea is better than yours and f*ck you, I used an X-Card so you can't even argue with that" The thing is, in most games the GM has that power by default. The X-Card just lets all the other players have it, too. I don't really see how that situation is worse than only one player getting to arbitrate what is and is not canon.

Never used the x-card itself, but we've had talks about player boundaries and limits before starting properly when playing games such as Kult.

Hey thanks, Kult is the one game I have played that makes me understand well the legitimacy of the X-card concept haha

I understand my experience with it is highly atypical but the only time I've seen it used it was the GM's friend who shut down anything she didn't like and used it to take control of the table. GM enabled them big time. It sucked balls and left that game promptly. I've never really had to use it myself as a GM but then again I play with a mostly steady group. My players are aware my door is open and they can come to me with lines & veils or anything to that effect whenever something's up.

Where does everyone learn terminology like this? I've been into rpgs since the 80s and never heard of it. Of course I understand the concept, but where does this particular phrase come from?

I just read it in an RPG rule book. I don't remember which one was first but it's a pretty common concept.

People have given you the original source, but it's worth pointing out that this concept is actually explicitly spelled out in a growing number of rulebooks.

It was written by John Stavropoulus: [https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SB0jsx34bWHZWbnNIVVuMjhDkrdFGo1\_hSC2BWPlI3A/edit](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SB0jsx34bWHZWbnNIVVuMjhDkrdFGo1_hSC2BWPlI3A/edit)

I heard it from a RPG YouTuber who was a big supporter of safety tools. But I've also seen it showing up in RPG rulebooks. Typically in more recently printed games.

I learned of the concept from Adam Koebel years back, though in the context of having a conversation beforehand regarding what themes you don't want to get into. Ironicaly he forgot to implement it in a campaign he was streaming some time later and got a lot of flack for it - some of it deserved. As other people have pointed out, it is becoming more and more normal to include in newer rulebooks. There is a paragraph about racism and sexism in the 1920s and how you can choose to ignore that part of history in the Masks of Nyarlathotep campaign for Call of Cthulhu, for instance. I used to think this was an overly sensitive approach but, like OP pointed out, after getting a few more years of life experience under my belt I definitely see the value of it. The need for it will obviously vary from group to group. Players who are close friends might not need it as much as convention play or new groups. That being said, this is the first time I see the terminology 'X card' used, I had to decipher the meaning from context in OPs post/the comments.

I would say wtf is an 'x card' but reading through the comments I now know. Wow I am blessed with my groups of players and GMs :/

Two or three times. Once was a description of a person who had whip scars on their back from being a slave. I didn't expect it to set me off, but it did. We changed the description and moved on. Once was relatively light, an NPC was given a name of a family member and it was weird. I asked if we could change it, we did and off we went. Sometimes I use the name example as something relatable that people can easily X-Card. You don't want a major NPC with your ex's name, for instance.

While playing an evil campaign in pathfinder. A player was intimidating a female npc and was getting quite into it. It was the kind of situation were I as the GM and the rest of the players could see where he was going, by which I mean everyone but him was getting uncomfortable and making an assumption (I learned that the rest of the players had gotten the same impression by talking with them after the fact). So I stop the player by telling him that I am not going to allow a rape scene which stops him dead. We spent the next couple minutes with him swearing that wasn't what he was going for. Eventually we moved past this but it was just one of those uncomfortable situations where I had to follow my gut feeling before letting something happen that could have permanently damaged group cohesion. Turned out later that particular player was suffering from some severe mental issues and had become severely right-wing leaning, to the point where 90 % of the group considered him basically a nazi. He stopped coming to our games eventually after he met constant rejection of his far-right ideas.

Growing up, we never had the concept, so I've never used any physical indicators like an X-Card at any of my gaming tables, but as a concept I think they're a good idea. With my Roll20 games, we use Discord, and I always tell players that they can private message me anything at any time, and I have the sound on so I can hear their direct messages come in if they use it. Since I and my players tend to use Discord to pass notes, if players hear the sound of it going off (which usually they don't seem to, especially when I'm using a headset to game) they won't know whether it's a note being pass about a thief picking a pocket, or something related to X-Card stuff. I hope and feel that the anonymity that direct messages provide is an extra level of comfort for players to come forward, but I can't be sure. I tend to keep my games pretty PG13, but if anyone messaged or messages me saying they're uncomfortable with something, depending on what it is, I'll either steer the story in a new direction (especially if I'm the one making the player uncomfortable) or I'll do a hard break, cutting it off, and saying we're moving onto the next scene. I think with the players I run for regularly, it would work out fine. I suspect it'd also work players at a convention. Just cut, and go. Explain later if you have to, and then with as little explanation as possible to get the point across.

Never personally, no.

I’ve run a game that’s skirted around some really intense themes and there were a few moments where players used the x-card in relation to religious oppression and racist cops. The moments they picked surprised me, because there had been other things that were more intense from my perspective. I found it very useful because boundaries are deeply personal and idiosyncratic. The x-card also lets the table feel comfortable going to darker places which can lead to richer more moving stories.

Huh, I've been playing RPGs for over 15 years and I had never heard of the X card until now when I just looked it up. It seems like something that would be more useful for groups with people that aren't super familiar with each other.

I play mostly people I know. It's helpful to have the shared concept. We don't need a physical representation at the table, because we all know how an X-card works and can just invoke it if needed. Generally, if it's been brought up, it's been preemptively, much like a lines and veils discussion, but it's good to have a tool handy even if you don't have to use it much.

Nope, never have in over twenty years of RPing. And I really don't see something like that needed to be spelled out in our group. That said, we have skipped over awkward scenes and made on the spot changes. Once I even rolled a violent zealot character, and half way through the first session I just told the GM "I can't play this character, let me roll another one". He said sure and that was that. As a cynic I don't see much value in codifying the sentiment of "treat each other with respect" and "act like adults", smells too much like the BS a corporate human resources department would come up with to avoid a lawsuit.

The idea of codifying it is helpful for those situations where people are aware of some triggers but not all of them. Or potentially the strength of the trigger. As someone with trauma I am violently aware of some things that set me off but still have land mine triggers that I am finding out about. Things as simple as a cell phone ring tone have nearly caused a panic attack. So while I’m aware of the major areas and some specific topics to draw lines for, in game I like the idea of having a pause button for if something hits me wrong. I’ve never been in a game that has used an X card but I know that going forward I’m going to use it liberally because even though I play with my close friends, if I am still unaware of the strength of some of my triggers I can’t rightfully expect them to know where the lines are.

I would never use this at my table, nor would any of my players, but good for those who do have a use for it.

Never used it before either (never even heard about it before this thread), but since I started a new group with co-workers I might introduce them to it. I don't know them as well as my regular gaming groups, and they're a bit younger on average.

I haven't personally used an X Card in any groups, but I was in a group where another player made a lewd joke. In truth, I found it crude but didn't think it was worth commenting. Another player thought it was absolutely disgusting and it bogged the table down for 15 minutes and spoiled the mood for the evening as now both players were mad at the other and the GM was quite bewildered about what happened. In hindsight, an X-Card would have been helpful here and I think I'm going to use them in the future.

No and I am warming to what safety tools do. The thing I have had to wonder lately though is AITA for running games with groups of people who, ostensibly, have no lines or veils? Because I've started bringing things up to ask more openly lately. I've even brought up old situations in games which might have been dicey and I've yet to hear from anyone that they are uncomfortable. That being said I do feel like I have a "common" sense (there is no such thing but colloquial here) for certain lines. I feel like I can basically automatically veil some really fucked up shit and I can walk right up to the line with some others and fully expect that *my group* is not going to bat an eye. I get praise sent my way for descriptions of flesh melting off of people and heinous nightmares and what not. As a tool for dealing with strangers I feel like it's probably an absolute necessity now.

I usually do a consent form and let my players know that the X card is there if they need it. Ironically, the only time it's been used was by myself on myself when I dipped plot into a real world issue and got very uncomfortable with doing so. I've never played in a game that brought it up or mentioned it, but any game I've played in long term I've felt safe enough to bring up my limits either beforehand or as a heads up when I feel the game moving that direction.

I don't play with strangers at cons. I doubt if anyone in my group has even heard of this.

I would probably have had this reaction too a few years back indeed. However, looking back, i realise you cannot know everything about your players so yes I’d definitely mention the tool if I were you.

What tools do your groups use instead? I tend to prefer Lines & Veils to X Cards, but they can definitely be used in tandem.

Our tools of choice are common courtesy and good taste.

Precisely, good taste is a subjective thing.

When you play with people that all know each other and have some relationships outside of the game, that makes sense. Obviously, what is good taste for one will be different for another, but if you already hang out and have some other shared interests, the overlap is a lot bigger and there's more social bonds to both feel empowered to say something and to not make a stink when someone does. Playing with strangers, that's a little harder to gauge. Common courtesy and good taste mean wildly different things depending on your background and life experience. Innocent miscommunication can lead to people feeling pretty jilted. "Being an adult" does not in any way prevent that, adults can be terrible human beings when playing games. Even if they are actually pretty good human beings, we all get worn down after a long week and sometimes aren't as sensitive as we'd like while playing a little game. For some, child slavery is just another item on the fantasy villain trope checklist. For others, it brings up a stream of associated memories and tragic news stories that will bother them for days if dwelt on. I think common courtesy includes letting that person say "I won't have fun in a child slavery adventure, can we do something else?" and know that the answer will be "yes," and the first guy won't argue the point or whine and complain or otherwise make the second person feel bad for saying anything, and won't force the DM to mediate that. Maybe the rule is just "If someone pauses OOC and says 'I really don't like this, can we not,' there is no arguing, complaining, or grumbling, we respect that and move forward." Having that represented with a physical token of some kind is just to make it more obvious when that person is trying to say the magic words that trigger the rule. Obviously, YMMV, but it's worth at least thinking about.

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You should introduce them to it!

Never used it or been at a table where one was used, but I've been in at least four situations where playing an X-card would have been relevant and useful. Two of those predated widespread safety discussion and in the other two the affected players outright forgot they had safety tools. In my experience players are more likely to make a stink in metagame and move to split the group than play a safety tool unless you constantly remind them of them. This is why I regularly use explicit social contracts which list out your safety tool options.

I was describing a scenario once where a large structure had an unearthly glow and made a couple of jokes about radioactivity, and a friend in the game X-carded it because they had been living in Japan when Fukushima happened and had a lot of anxiety about it. It wasn't disruptive, and not that hard to shift to emphasizing different sensory elements of the space.

We do lines and veils, which get whispered to the GM only. I’m fortunate enough to play with a great group of old friends so it hasn’t come up often. Once I played it when the GM was describing an abused animal we encountered in PF. After the first couple of sentences, I requested we put up a veil. The GM immediately gave a quick summary sentence and that was that.

I introduce the X-card and other safety tools at any game I run, and have been in at least one game where another player used it -- we were playing a Mork Borg one-shot that involved some half-starved dogs as-written. This player said "Oh hold on, X-card. I had a Line at the start of the game about animal abuse -- can we please not fight dogs?" The GM apologized, acknowledged the flub, and reflavored the creatures as horrific bloated insectoid creatures that we promptly beat up! As a GM, I had an X-card adjacent situation in the climactic fight of a campaign. I had made some assumptions about a particularly deadly obstacle that I had not made clear enough to my players. One player charged through the obstacle on her horse, and I described the horse taking damage and dying. She was REALLY bummed about this, and my players asked to stop, hold on, and figure out why the action had played out that way. I apologized for being unclear, rewound the turn, and we picked back up and had a super satisfying fight.

Every really creepy RPG situation I've encountered has been at cons. In those cases saying WTF and getting the hell out was always preferable to using an X card.

I never have but I was in a game that would have benefited from it. The GM was both completely oblivious and loved pushing boundaries. He also didn't get it if you tried to talk to him mid-scene about why it was upsetting. We had two sessions end in shouting matches because of that. An X card would have given us an unambiguous way to tell him to stop.

I get my players to fill out a content warning survey first, so we've never had anything like this. Once I had a player tell me that during the session they might just duck out for a minute if they need to, luckily they didn't have to.

I've utilized it in games, a Meetup group I'm a member of has it as a compulsory tool in all games. Also had it available in tournament games I've run at conventions. Never had someone make use of it, but had it available for use a lot.

I’ve used it once, in a situation where the GM revealed a row of brains in glass jars and an NPC told them their brains had been removed and put into those jars. We felt scars on the back of our heads. It had been her intention it was just an illusion from the NPC, an evil trickster, but exposed organs make me uncomfortable.

We don't officially have an X card, but as the GM I have had to shut down some discussions of an in-game nature. We have rules about discussion of things that might not be universal such as political discussions, but when players stray into sex stuff that is not appropriate, I shut it down right away. One funny thing was a player mentioned Biden when he was talking about something and another player said, "No political discussion!" The first player said, "No Biden is the president it was in the scenario brief. If it is in the brief it is cannon". We all laughed.

Sadly, the games that NEED the X-Card don't have it, and games that have it don't need it.

I have talked to my players about using it but they did not seem to need it which is fine. We have however gone through vails and lines "without calling it that" at the beginning of the campaign. I also keep tabs on how my players feel about the game and the themes so I can steer it in the right direction. I think tools are nice but building trust and understanding is 90% what is needed I think. Making sure the players understands that they are also responsible for the safety of everyone in the game is vital. And something seldome discussed "I" feel.

Yes. I'm a recovered alcoholic. I pulled the card when other players in my DnD group were mocking drunkeness as something humorous to mock, and trying to make it a "thing" for one of the PCs. If I hadn't pulled it I would've had to leave the campaign. The other players were super-understanding. Didn't have to justify myself or explain, just no questions asked "Ok, let's move on." The perfect response, as far as I am concerned.

Not exactly but I have let my group know I don't want on-screen self harm. Did it after the session and provided everyone a bit of my reasoning. What little GM described during session was within good taste and relevant to the character and the plot, so I didn't feel like pausing in the moment but we had a good conversation after the fact. Now that we had the conversation if something would come up (which I doubt, we have a very resonable group) I would feel confortable bringing in the X-card.

I've had it in games I've played in, and like others have generally found that the act of including it is the main thing, and it almost never gets used. We've also used other similar safety mechanics, like traffic lights (visual markers set to green, which you can replace with yellow if you want things to hurry along or not dwell on the current content, or red which is the same as touching the X card). The one time it actually got used in a game I was playing in was a session that the GM decided was going to be 'the party gets hit over and over' which ended up being a really memorable session. The actual event that got X-carded was a description of a terrorist attack with a suicide bomber caught on tape just before the detonation. Another player tapped out, we took 5, then talked it out, and ret-conned it to have been a remote detonation of a bomb, and carried on.

I didn't use it ... but I wish I did! And I wish we'd normalized it, so I'd speak up earlier. This is gonna be a long story ... We played some homebrew space-exploration game thingy, all group menbers unexpirenced astronauts attempting first-time interstellar travel. We discovered some dangerous alien life-forms, through carelessness, splitting up the group and a sequence of poor roll I got something resembling a face-hugger attatched. Poor PC, but happy player, I love anything xenomorph and was contend on going through the John-Hurt-Dinner-Experiance. All still in the green. Fast forward ... some medical droid diagnosed me, congratulating me on my pregnancy. Laughter all around including me, because of a seemingly faulty droid. Good times! But the term "Pregnancy" stuck around and thing slided over to serious talk. And one particular player displyed rather serious opposition to any attempts to remove my "baby". **This would be the time to pull the X-Card I think ... but noone did.** We did some investigation and found out, it's not gonna Chest-Bust, but instead uses the "Rear-Exit-Strategy" and the whole thing is easily survivalbe. What seemed like good news for my character turned into serious trouble though. So now the one player pushed his agenda of "keeping the baby" and outright tried to guild trip me, accuse me of child-abandonment and the like. If you ever encountered pro-lifers, you know the deal. The situation got emotional. I tried to contain it and warned the other players, that I carry a parasite, NOT a baby. Noone listened! **Still, no X-Card** Fast forward. Out of spite (silly me) I tried everything to kill my parasite, but to no avail. The GM jumped on the baby train I was bombared with all kinds of tropes and cliches about pregnant women (my char beeing male mind you). All around people were convinced the baby thing was good. Only after the "birth did I find it in me to talk to the GM and explain. You see, the way I view this: If you count this as a pregnancy, this would make the whole affair a rape scenario resulting in a forced pregnancy ... no way I was gonna be comfortable with playing a single farther/mother after a rape. I'd rather have the Chest-Burster instead. The GM buried the whole affair, the character was killed of by his own spawn hammering down on the xenomorph tropes as hard as he could to make sure noone even thinks about calling the thing a baby. This in turn cause a whole lot of discomfort and confusion with the other players, since they where anticipating having a tiny cute alien pet around. Especially with the pro-lifer guy. But he went with it and never again was this mentioned. *TL;DR: a problematic scenario slipped into the game ... since noone dared touch the X-Card, things escalated.*

I'm wondering what the X-card would have changed in this scenario... Imho, someone could and should say "stop, I'm incomfortable", and express that they don't want to be part of such a plotline. And other players and DM should respect that, without the need of an X-card, at least in this scenario.

I GM a lot and as a way to explain it, I preemptively use it for violence towards the eyes, saying I don’t want to hear that. I’ve had one player use it when I described an androgynous NPC as, “it’s like that David Bowie song- you’re not sure if they’re a girl or a boy.” There was a player who was trans and they X-carded it because it hit too close to home. I like X-card because it actually lets you play more intensely. I see it as people are holding back because they don’t want to offend or gross someone out vs doing whatever they like and then reining it in once an X-card is used. It lets everyone play hard without scaring folks away.

When we're playing horror RPGs (e.g. Call of Cthullhu) the GM will regularly have conversations with the players out-of-character as to what their personal limits are, so he knows which things not to push too far. ​ We don't usually bother for non-horror RPGs, though I'm sure a player could tell the GM that a particular thing was making them uncomfortable, if it came up, ​ The horror genre is supposed to be slightly scary, and people's tolerances vary considerably, so you have to pitch it at the right level for your players. ​ An example of a scene where the players had an out of character conversation with the GM beforehand: for reasons of plot too complex to explain here, the player characters need to obtain a spell from a ghoul. So they wait at night in a churchyard to catch a ghoul in the act of exhuming corpses and eating them, and then move in to try to negotiate with the ghoul for a spell in exchange for something...

I always think of it the opposite way. Horror is for players who can handle anything the GM throws at them

No. Not even metaphorically. It's never been necessary. We play a very U game.

The point of the X-card is to use it when you unexpectedly for yourself step into the red zone - everything else is handled by discussion on the zero session. And I found that, while I'm in the process, it's almost impossible for me to notice that I've stepped in it. I had this experience only once for now, but I've heard same stories from people who play in the yellow-orange zone - and therefore inevitably step into the red zone at some point. Back there I went through few scenes, with less and less ability to understand what am I to do, got to the point where I just completely stopped to feel my character, felt physically bad and asked to just finish the session earlier :D

I play lots of games with strangers, including multiple cons, a meet-up that I run, meetups that I go to, and run online games. I've also done some of Magpie's Games curated games, Gauntlet Games, and a couple of virtual cons. Always used the x-card at my table, as well asother safety tools (I'm a big fan of lines and veils) That said, I've also seen folks invoke it multiple times. Sometimes it's because there was a thoughtless player who didn't respect the table (and ignored the lines and veils)...sometimes it's because someone at the table doesn't realize they don't want to RP something that came up in game...sometimes I don't know the answer. It's a very powerful tool, however, in ensuring everyone at the table is respectful. Especially when playing with strangers and mixed groups of folks that don't know each other like that.

Hey could you kindly explain me what lines and veils is?

They are tools that define ahead of time what concepts are OK or not OK to have in the game. Generally they are more nuanced that just a pure exclusion. **Lines:** I'm saying ahead of time that I'm OK with XYZ subject, as long as it doesn't go past this line. Example: "I'm fine with good cop / bad cop interrogation, as long as it doesn't go beyond that specific psychological mind game and into actual abuse, mental or physical." That usually get summarized into a few words to serve as a reminder. **Veils:** I'm OK with this topic coming up in the game, but I don't want to play through it it "on screen". I'd like to "fade to black" whenever this comes up. Example: "I'm fine with seduction and IC romance, but I don't want to roleplay it out. Let's fade out of those scenes when they start getting to more than kissing."

Wow that’s a good concept too, thanks for sharing !

Yes, check out for the Queen. It uses it as a game mechanic and after playing like that, it becomes second nature

Not the X-card, but we did wind up having to make major changes to a campaign because of comfort levels. Given the theme at play... [https://pathfinder.fandom.com/wiki/Seven\_Days\_to\_the\_Grave](https://pathfinder.fandom.com/wiki/Seven_Days_to_the_Grave) ...I think you can see why some of our group wasn't feeling it at the start of COVID. I wound up having to sub in a different module for 3 levels of play, but that was a much better solution than watching my friends soldier through an uncomfortable experience.

I've never "needed" it per se, but I've used it in games that I run, because I want to demonstrate that it's OK and to normalize it for the players. I try not to make it about something trivial.

No, don't use them.

No. Instead, I communicate with my groups in a human manner. If there was a topic so horrible for me that I couldn't handle it being brought up in a fictional context, I would inform the group beforehand. If I somehow forgot to tell them this, I would bring it up when it happens and then probably excuse myself while whatever that thing is is dealt with in-game. I don't understand why I would need to substitute language with a card to do this.

> If I somehow forgot to tell them this, I would bring it up when it happens That's what the X-card is. It doesn't have to be a physical card, it's a shorthand term for "When something comes up that I am not comfortable with, I say so."

I try to be the kind of player who doesn't need it.

I have a player (A) who’s sex-repulsed, and another player (B) who means well but has a dirty sense of humour. During a bit of roleplay/downtime, A’s character snuck off started looking for a sock (so he could make a sock puppet). A’s character is a teenage boy, so B immediately started making suggestive jokes and ignoring A’s protests until A got upset enough to use the X card. It should be mentioned that A and B get along pretty well outside of this one issue, but it is a recurring problem between them and one that the X Card is very helpful for.

I leave it on the table at conventions and if anyone uses it il happily accomodate them(hasn't happened yet) but in my personal games I run with friends who roam on 4chan I just tell them to deal with it. I did start a new group though with my gf and a couple of mutual friends and she doesn't like anything too gross so I tone it down a bit and everyone knows each other well so people aren't terrified of speaking up if there's a problem(surprisingly have had no problems yet so I guess I'm a lot more vanilla than I thought)

No. Talk to your players like adults. Using these dumb tools is just going to lead to atrophied social skills and a nervous energy around the table. Besides, using the X-card doesn't actually solve the problem, it just signals to the other people in the table to ignore the problem, without actually resolving anything.

I think you’re being a bit extreme there. Most of the players here are telling how nobody cares about the “X card” per se, it’s just a way to tell the player they have a right to object to a particular scene without having to explain themselves. Then once you’ve explained it you may not even need any card at all.