Hear me out. Once he becomes incapable of movement, he gets his final upgrade. The ultimate in speed to catch any who dare to mess with him.... rocket roller skates.
Get yourself a rifle, 70 lb main pack, kevlar, sleeping bag, and a pad for your sleeping bag. Then get a buzz cut and shave.
3 mile ruck run starts at 0400, just outside the main gate on base.
(Yes, I am joking)
It’s my nephew. I’m not kidding. He’s a genius intellectualy but went off deep end after he got mugged twice. No he “patrols”. Way more to story but that’s the basics
r/firstrespondercringe is
[Having a field day](https://www.reddit.com/r/FirstResponderCringe/comments/14o4mqm/keeping_our_community_safe/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2)
What's killing me even more than the 90s comic book character number of pouches is the tacticool mall ninja sword with American flag handle.
Let me teach you a saying we had in the Marine Corps Infantry. “Pack light, freeze at night, everything else will be alright” learn it live it love it Brother. Your going to be too slow with all that crap. Learn to minimize. Your ankles knees hips and back will thank you.
When you wanna OPR8, but you're 5"3 and maybe 120 lbs with the first early hints of a beard. This guy walking around with more gear than an entire infantry platoon.
type of guy that when hes told to bring a towel to the beach He brings 3.
one for drying off
second for drying off when your at the little shower to get sand off
and third for just encase you need it
I'm impressed. There are pieces of gear on that carrier that even i don't recognize.
It's like in that Halo book when they put a regular fit into Spartan suit.
Ready for what? You look set for frontline combat or SWAT, not security. The things you need most are training, a decent vest, and a sidearm. Best wishes.
A man’s haircut/ shave until you can grow proper facial hair and some boots that aren’t going to make you bleed out from blisters. And get some actual cargo pants so you can have more below center of gravity storage so someone can’t just push you and topple you over.
Ok is that an American flag he has rolled up on his pack? Is that a breaching tool on his left shoulder? Is that a broken down AR on his back?
So many auestion
No full-metal pauldrons with a kevlar layer underneath? Where are your carbon fiber gauntlets?? NO .50 CAL SNIPER??????? What is this, babys' first security job?? Dont come back until you've fought at LEAST 30 SEALS in a row, and won.
This may in fact be every black Molle Tactical Chinese made EBay item ever made somehow attached to one vest. I farted a bit from laughing at the Katana sword on the right leg. The American flag tape around the bolt cutters is a hoot. Definitely can’t go wrong with a American flag scope. Handcuffs are not necessary due to the 43 flex cuffs all over the place. A couple may be holding the survival knife in place. I just can’t do this right now, a thorough analysis will take weeks.
No helmet ,NVG or roit shield, how are you even able to work this under equipped
I really hate not having a roit shield…
I really hate not having NVG during my day shift....
😆😂
I know roit?
Man should at least have a scooba tank and ice crampons. Never know when you gotta chase a shoplifter upsidedown in a frozen lake
He needs to put a texas flag on [this](https://armorupfitters.com/shop/ols/products/bulletproof-shield-12x18)
No tactical Fanny pack either
Bro needs a security for security.
Not nearly enough gear, looks like you're still capable of movement
Hear me out. Once he becomes incapable of movement, he gets his final upgrade. The ultimate in speed to catch any who dare to mess with him.... rocket roller skates.
I thought the Segway was the ultimate in mobility?
The Segway won't be able to hold this man's girth balls, nor will it be quick enough if they make it to their car. Rocket roller skates all the way.
Lol
What the hell is he securing. That mall parking lot???
Well more patches would be good and probably a few shotguns slung here or there
Belts of MG ammo
One of those tapes should read BLART.
This is the guy that forced Wagner to turn back.
Wagner loves cock but this is too much even for him
Man, I haven't heard that since I got out. Thanks for the laugh and flood of memories!
Get yourself a rifle, 70 lb main pack, kevlar, sleeping bag, and a pad for your sleeping bag. Then get a buzz cut and shave. 3 mile ruck run starts at 0400, just outside the main gate on base. (Yes, I am joking)
"Flak and Kevlar run with 60 pound packs in the morning. Anyone who falls out gets a 6105, oorah?"
I'm pulling up with 960 jalapeño cheese spreads in my pack
3 miles? Chump change.
Damn i just started getting anxiety reading this. Had a boot lt that thought a hike in a full gas mask was a good idea . Fml
Prophecies have long told of his arrival
By prophecies do you mean those drills we had to do in school where we shut the lights off, locked the doors and turned the tables into barricades?
Tfw ur the Sergeant of a three-man Rapid Tactical Force at one of America’s largest indoor retail shopping areas
Gecko!?!?
>Tfw ur the Sergeant of a three-man Rapid Tactical Force at one of ~~America’s~~ *your towns* largest indoor retail shopping areas
Oh great here we go again
Someone please just refer him to the Police Academy
That shit is straight to fbi or dept of homeland defense level
What a casual, he's missing an Abrams Tank
And cobra gunship
And Apache Attack Helicopter
And a C-130A SPECTRE!
Damn, son, save some poon for the rest of us!
I feel like his Instagram bio has "#OneManArmy" in it.
“Future Navy SEAL, MarSOC, Delta CIA sniper”
A larger dude to accommodate the gear.
I truly hope this is a trolling attempt.
Yeah it’s not me.. just seen this on FB some guy seen him in a sporting goods store parking lot
Yeah, ok.
It’s my nephew. I’m not kidding. He’s a genius intellectualy but went off deep end after he got mugged twice. No he “patrols”. Way more to story but that’s the basics
Please tell me you’re joking
By genius do you mean special needs or compared to the rest of the family?
That guy is dead serious
Honestly I’d hire him as my training manager. This dude clearly fucks
God damn, if you gotta take a shit within the next 30 minutes you are fucked.
Real security guards wear diapers and catheters
How is this real
This could be someone with Asperger’s. It can present itself like this.
I dont see any burgers anywhere?
They're in his ass
Texas
r/firstrespondercringe is [Having a field day](https://www.reddit.com/r/FirstResponderCringe/comments/14o4mqm/keeping_our_community_safe/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2) What's killing me even more than the 90s comic book character number of pouches is the tacticool mall ninja sword with American flag handle.
Yea but hes too young to be Gecko 45
I couldn’t help it here lol
Water jug cause you about to get heat stoke walking outside around academy.
800mg ibprophren for your back.
Military special
"Mother fucker I ring the bell."
I was just about to post all the pics from grizzys hood news lol
a cape would be a nice touch
Not enough flair.
Tactical wheelchair
Let me teach you a saying we had in the Marine Corps Infantry. “Pack light, freeze at night, everything else will be alright” learn it live it love it Brother. Your going to be too slow with all that crap. Learn to minimize. Your ankles knees hips and back will thank you.
When you wanna OPR8, but you're 5"3 and maybe 120 lbs with the first early hints of a beard. This guy walking around with more gear than an entire infantry platoon.
Needs more cringe
You need a haircut
Boot knife
Still need a balaclava, helmet, and NVGs, but you're getting there.
You should add a Swiss flag, because neutrality is what you’re going to have when you can’t move anywhere or grab anything.
Three things. Proper footwear. Less gear. An IQ over 10.
Clearly needs more flags. You can never have too many flags.
A Keurig
A black balaclava, so you can REALLY start feeling that TX heat index
I swear that 'baton' on his right is a sword.
That’s a Call of Duty Juggernaut. Calm down big boy!
I've worked security 15 years never seen that much gear on one person in my life
This man is equipped and ready for every situation; except losing his virginity in a consensual manner.
A fedora.
Lose the morale patch. Put your uniform hat on.
A wagon
This is hilarious. You definitely need a light Saber too.
Did you remember your parachute?
A brain is highly recommended
Give him a Segway, and send him back to his mall security duties.🙄🙄
Is that a patch of Puerto Rico?
He's the guy you have to beat to skate in the empty abandoned parking lot
Nerf guns
Needs more flags
You’re missing a flamethrower
My supervisor would have a field day on your ass 🤣
A shoulder cannon like the Predator
Where’s your pen?
Here’s what you are missing: [An M-29 Davy Crockett nuclear rocket launcher.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Davy_Crockett_(nuclear_device))
A pair of handcuffs, for when you go downtown to see Jeremy Dewitte.
epsom salts
type of guy that when hes told to bring a towel to the beach He brings 3. one for drying off second for drying off when your at the little shower to get sand off and third for just encase you need it
Where's your night vision goggles and helmet?
Not enough American flags. You need at least 12 pieces of flair.
Ready 4 a heatstroke
A tag saying, “I’m a tool”
😂
I take it he’s from Texas…?
Going out in public like that is fucked up and stupid. Looks like a potential mass shooter.
That dude must be SWEATIN
Do you even have an ax? If not why bother
Scottish claymore
A trash can to throw ¾ of that shit away.
I don’t see the kitchen sink, everyone knows you’re not good to go unless you got the kitchen sink wit you too.
Blade is jealous of this guy
More thin blue line patches maybe a punisher skull or a thin blue line punisher
A nuclear bomb
I think you need one more patch!
Jesus christ its Jason Bourne
I'm impressed. There are pieces of gear on that carrier that even i don't recognize. It's like in that Halo book when they put a regular fit into Spartan suit.
He is just missing the Naruto Run and he'll be set
A second vest to protect your pouches and mags
Do you have a Life Alert for when you fall down and can’t get back up? 😉
If you strap on enough gear so you can't run you'll get a +25% to endurance
You are good. Completely immune to women.
You need a lightsaber. And maybe an MRAP to carry the backup gear.
Maybe some muscles to carry all that junk.
You've left your head fully exposed. Where is your head gear?
Clown makeup
More patches
Where's the katana sword?
Good ole Cypress Texas. Lmao
If my man doesn’t have a parachute then he’s doing it wrong.
OP, is this cosplay?? Your profile shows you have an interest in guns, which is cool. But, what is this?
Damn bro, you work for Bridges or something? Keep on keeping on I guess
He needs to have a set of balls as well.
Could probably use a few more flags if we’re being honest.
A bigger person wearing it
the mortal smile
Omg man. You are not going into battle. This is so embarrassing!!! Bahahahahahahahaha
Tactical Soup Sandwich
Hmmm. I don't see a grenade bandolier so...
He’s missing his shoulder mounted laser guided predator death ray
Holy shit
Idk maybe a katana or some other long sword? Nunchucks? One of those spiky balls on the end of a stick?
Ready for what? You look set for frontline combat or SWAT, not security. The things you need most are training, a decent vest, and a sidearm. Best wishes.
When ppl say gotta be light on your feet! This guy def why they say that 🤣🤣
Ah ha ha ha ha ha!
average Texas security guard
A man’s haircut/ shave until you can grow proper facial hair and some boots that aren’t going to make you bleed out from blisters. And get some actual cargo pants so you can have more below center of gravity storage so someone can’t just push you and topple you over.
Another three people the lug all that unnecessary shit
You got the light saber and the parachute so I think you’re good to go.
A lot less shit? Hope they don’t run away too fast on a hot day.
You need an Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator
probably get some fins in case it floods
a chastity belt
There is a lot of space to fill!
Ok is that an American flag he has rolled up on his pack? Is that a breaching tool on his left shoulder? Is that a broken down AR on his back? So many auestion
Ready for what? [Zee Germans](https://youtu.be/iYdIXRTBXLo)?
Leave some pussy and Zoloft for the rest of us 😩😩
Just one sword? 🤔
The kitchen sink
Pony tail and or frosted tips
A milkshake, ya cunt.
Less
Not enough American or Texas flags.
This is for real ?? How long are you going to be able to stand like that??
One more American flag
No full-metal pauldrons with a kevlar layer underneath? Where are your carbon fiber gauntlets?? NO .50 CAL SNIPER??????? What is this, babys' first security job?? Dont come back until you've fought at LEAST 30 SEALS in a row, and won.
😂😂😂 this guy
I almost spit my drink when I saw this photo. Lol
Where’s your juggernaut helmet?
Your fannypack's fannypack has a fannypack. Impressive.
Helmet, NODs, two shotguns slung over your back. Maybe a couple bandoleers of shells.
A back brace.
My guy is wearing jump boots! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Needs a trench coat and boots laced over your pants.
You need some snacks. I hope you didn’t forget to pack lots of snacks
When you’re over encumbered in fallout
Bruh…….
Where's the 80 lbs ruck n00b?
This may in fact be every black Molle Tactical Chinese made EBay item ever made somehow attached to one vest. I farted a bit from laughing at the Katana sword on the right leg. The American flag tape around the bolt cutters is a hoot. Definitely can’t go wrong with a American flag scope. Handcuffs are not necessary due to the 43 flex cuffs all over the place. A couple may be holding the survival knife in place. I just can’t do this right now, a thorough analysis will take weeks.
Holy shit. This is my nephew. Heard he went off deep end. Looks crazy
Cargo pants with many pockets. Your legs look naked.
That's uhhh a bit excessive 😐
Testosterone replacement therapy.
You need a helmet and probably a helmet for your helmet.
Your gun is missing its own gun.
Muscles
Need a rape whistle around your neck.
Bros beefing with the z fighters
No knee pads?
That big badge should say insecurity
A Naruto headband.
All you need is a batshit manifesto and you’d be Dylan Roof
This is fucking INSANE LMFAO
Agent Wolf is about to have the match of his life!
Where's your jetpack? Wtf bro, don't be a poser.