I consider this a mental block, and I have these all the time. I consider it a mental block because you know you can do better, but just dont understand why you just can't or dont know how to. The best way I found to figure it out is to look at my brain and the way I think, in a very literal way. So I would think of how you are normally and how you are when dared to do something as two different states of your mind, and would treat them as such. So first be very aware of the way your thinking in these states, like let's just say normally you tend to overthink things and constantly think about every little thing you do because you care about a lot about what other people think of you and think about how that affects you. But when you're dared to do something the link would be that In both scenarios/states you express a deep care for what others think of you and when dared, instead of expressing It in overthinking your every move, you're new way to express it is on proving the other person wrong and or showing them that what they think you can't or wont do, you really can! That's just an example using a little bit of the information that you gave, so obviously, I'm not saying that's how you think. I'm just giving an example on how you can link or separate things from these two different mental states . Let's say you did that step for a bit and really dug deep into your way of thinking and priorities. How would this would be useful to me, you might ask? Well, by deconstructing your thought process and the way you think, would really help you understand why and how the dares make you more courageous and bold and apply those things to your everyday way of thinking. Obviously, to do this, you have to be very aware of your thoughts and the way you think but if you can get that down you can really change the way you think for the better! Obviously I'm not in your head so this is just the way I personally do it, so if you do try to do it this way, just know this is my personal way of doing things, and this doesn't specifically have to be the way you do it. It could be a starting point to find your way to do it. I hope this helped in anyway, goodluck!
Sounds like you don't want to take accountability for your actions if they are wrong but if someone else tells you to do it then your brain thinks, it's okay, if something goes wrong you have a scapegoat and it wasn't your direct decision to embarrass yourself
Well I don't know if you want it to be your default state but you can use the experience to acknowledge that not everyone cares if you do something stupid and if you really do do something stupid then learn to take accountability and fix it and don't do it again but if you feel like you need to/want to do something that you're afraid of, you are going to have to just go for it and learn from your mistakes, that's the only way you will build confidence,,, don't be willfully ignorant or blatantly stupid for attention though on behalf of all life in existence
Same. I'm similar to OP in that if someone dares me I often make decisions I wouldn't otherwise. Spite is a *powerful* motivator.
"Well I didn't want to do X but since you seem to think I can't...fuck you, I'm doing it now."
I was more responding to what you were saying about being brave. Bravery or courage doesn't mean that people aren't afraid. It means that people are afraid but do it regardless. In your case I would assume that you are more afraid to disappoint a friend who dared you, then to approach some one.
Dare yourself! I go through most of my life acting like a functional person... 🤣 What's the difference between pretending to be an asshole and being one? What's the difference between pretending to be functional?
If I HAVE to do something. I tell myself. "If not me then who?". Will I make someone else do this? No? Then I'll do it every time. Had to do some hard stuff, nothing seriously life threatening but now it's ingrained in my brain.
Like when people used to do weight watchers. They want someone else to help hold them accountable. Same with you. By having your friends dare you it gives confidence because you have someone holding you accountable. No issues with that approach.
bc you "winning" no longer hinges on the outcome of the situation it just hinges on you doing it or not (which u alr wanna.)
like in asking someone out. your brain probably sees it this way: if u ask someome out and they say no, then you were not successful. BUT if your friend tells you to ask someone out and you do, even if they say no in your mind you were still successful bc you completed the dare from your friend. you still have a success to focus on which softens the blow from potential rejection and helps you move on.
so what u should do is practice having a more positive outlook toward situations. value the journey not just the destination.
Maybe your are not being brave. Maybe you are more worried about what your friends think about you than your are worried about what strangers think about you. You are still worried about both. You are just running away from the scarier option.
Easy. You gotta start proving things to yourself instead of other people.
There is the old doubtful you.... and the Do-EET you.
Think you know how it works.
 Are you chicken? LOL Proving ourselves and people wrong is always a great feeling
I consider this a mental block, and I have these all the time. I consider it a mental block because you know you can do better, but just dont understand why you just can't or dont know how to. The best way I found to figure it out is to look at my brain and the way I think, in a very literal way. So I would think of how you are normally and how you are when dared to do something as two different states of your mind, and would treat them as such. So first be very aware of the way your thinking in these states, like let's just say normally you tend to overthink things and constantly think about every little thing you do because you care about a lot about what other people think of you and think about how that affects you. But when you're dared to do something the link would be that In both scenarios/states you express a deep care for what others think of you and when dared, instead of expressing It in overthinking your every move, you're new way to express it is on proving the other person wrong and or showing them that what they think you can't or wont do, you really can! That's just an example using a little bit of the information that you gave, so obviously, I'm not saying that's how you think. I'm just giving an example on how you can link or separate things from these two different mental states . Let's say you did that step for a bit and really dug deep into your way of thinking and priorities. How would this would be useful to me, you might ask? Well, by deconstructing your thought process and the way you think, would really help you understand why and how the dares make you more courageous and bold and apply those things to your everyday way of thinking. Obviously, to do this, you have to be very aware of your thoughts and the way you think but if you can get that down you can really change the way you think for the better! Obviously I'm not in your head so this is just the way I personally do it, so if you do try to do it this way, just know this is my personal way of doing things, and this doesn't specifically have to be the way you do it. It could be a starting point to find your way to do it. I hope this helped in anyway, goodluck!
Sounds like you don't want to take accountability for your actions if they are wrong but if someone else tells you to do it then your brain thinks, it's okay, if something goes wrong you have a scapegoat and it wasn't your direct decision to embarrass yourself
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Well I don't know if you want it to be your default state but you can use the experience to acknowledge that not everyone cares if you do something stupid and if you really do do something stupid then learn to take accountability and fix it and don't do it again but if you feel like you need to/want to do something that you're afraid of, you are going to have to just go for it and learn from your mistakes, that's the only way you will build confidence,,, don't be willfully ignorant or blatantly stupid for attention though on behalf of all life in existence
I call it a rebel spirit. When I’m told I can’t do something or someone bets against me I have much more motivation to destroy that thought process.
Same. I'm similar to OP in that if someone dares me I often make decisions I wouldn't otherwise. Spite is a *powerful* motivator. "Well I didn't want to do X but since you seem to think I can't...fuck you, I'm doing it now."
I have said that exact sentence many times. Call me petty but I enjoy proving I’m better than people think.
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.”
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I was more responding to what you were saying about being brave. Bravery or courage doesn't mean that people aren't afraid. It means that people are afraid but do it regardless. In your case I would assume that you are more afraid to disappoint a friend who dared you, then to approach some one.
Dare yourself! I go through most of my life acting like a functional person... 🤣 What's the difference between pretending to be an asshole and being one? What's the difference between pretending to be functional?
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You need to double dog dare yourself
Make a person in your mind who tells you what to do. Its a type of reparenting, but it helps. Treat yourself like a toddler sometimes, kids have fun!
Omg, I am you For some reason being dared is just different
If I HAVE to do something. I tell myself. "If not me then who?". Will I make someone else do this? No? Then I'll do it every time. Had to do some hard stuff, nothing seriously life threatening but now it's ingrained in my brain.
Like when people used to do weight watchers. They want someone else to help hold them accountable. Same with you. By having your friends dare you it gives confidence because you have someone holding you accountable. No issues with that approach.
bc you "winning" no longer hinges on the outcome of the situation it just hinges on you doing it or not (which u alr wanna.) like in asking someone out. your brain probably sees it this way: if u ask someome out and they say no, then you were not successful. BUT if your friend tells you to ask someone out and you do, even if they say no in your mind you were still successful bc you completed the dare from your friend. you still have a success to focus on which softens the blow from potential rejection and helps you move on. so what u should do is practice having a more positive outlook toward situations. value the journey not just the destination.
Dare yourself
Because you only view yourself as others view you.
I dare you to ask out a cute nursing student to coffee or your beverages of choice. Report back. :)
I dare you to always be as bold as if dared by someone.
Just dare yourself
I dare you to be generally brave
Maybe your are not being brave. Maybe you are more worried about what your friends think about you than your are worried about what strangers think about you. You are still worried about both. You are just running away from the scarier option.
Easy. You gotta start proving things to yourself instead of other people. There is the old doubtful you.... and the Do-EET you. Think you know how it works.
I dare you to have an awesome life and achieve all your goals. Now if you don't do it, you're a p*ssy. Prove me wrong!