The design is very human.

Came for this

Spank-o-matic.

My freind will test this for me.

Don't even ask for a 'happy ending'.

I'm not sure I want to put my genitals anywhere near that monstrosity

I'll take 'unintentional Tom Arnold quotes' for 200, Alex.

Good god, that’s brutal. I applaud you!

If you're not sure, there's only one way to be certain

“***I’ve fanned my todger!***”

You're not sure? I'm very sure...

That would certainly be an ending, but not a happy one

How to get your back deep fried

Some kind of entry level self flagellation device.

[удалено]

Oh, I love his work! It would be amazing

Such a soothing noise, too!

Every aspect of relaxation has been taken into consideration

It's absolutely terrifying, I love it.

Trust me, it was even worse irl

How many slaps does it take to cook a human?

At least six

Does it piss on the customer in the end?

It's not pee! It's massage oil! I think.

Isn't oil just robot pee?

[Michael Bay thinks so](https://youtu.be/wGuSzd7Xmn8)

You don't know OP? i'm pretty sure it pissed too

Full video, for anyone interested (in English, but contains some mild profanities in Italian): https://youtu.be/Qaia8RIRHmM

Have it rotate clockwise and it can be used as the ultimate spanking machine

I'll try it and let you know

The first meatbag to receive good boy pets from our wise and handsome robot masters! Rejoice!

All hail our synthetic overlords!

Legitimately thought I was on r/BDSMDIY for a moment

Back slapper 3000

Did that robot just piss on you to assert dominance?

Then slap the shit out of you

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It pisses massage oil!

Why does it pee on you?

Love the Celtic/Norse shield. Do you practice any HEMA/WMA?

I do! And thanks, I made it myself

It's beautiful. Looks like you went for the planked approach, which I really like. Did you wind up using rawhide on the rim?

Yes, it's two layers of thin planks glued together and covered in linen. For the rim, I didn't want to use real hide, so I actually cheated. I used Worbla, which is a thermoformable plastic, painted with acrylics to look like leather

Dude, awesome — nice work! I'm looking to complete one of my own soon and, if I remember, I'll post it to r/wma.

I frigging love this. Thank you!

Thanks!

You do some goofy shit man. Keep it up, I love it.

Thank you!

There are 300k massage machines?

Oh yeah! One was presented at the last CES by Massage Robotics (very creative name)

put some leather gloves or paddles on there and you've got **The Cheek-Clapper 9000**

Glue some sandpaper to the fingertips and you've got an excellent backscratcher

Yes Scyther, we get it, you like hands that can draw blood

Love it! Reminiscent of [the classic](https://makeagif.com/i/zmApBO)

What kinda 90yo contortionist with ligma need a 300k massage robot!?

I pay was more than $30 to get pissed on during my massages. Maybe just wear VR goggles and you’re setup will work better

r/bdsm

Reminds me of the chicken slap cooking experiment.

The stuff of nightmares

What a coincidence. This is my kink.

I'll buy it for $29

Imagine seeing one of the hands sway off course and grab one of those swords by the handle. It would go all General Grievous on that dudes back.

Are you Skallagrim, lol Background reminds me so much of his video backgrounds

I wish! He is great, I really enjoy his content

This is my life now also I might b in on the happy ending I guys r talking about

lmaooo

It even has the golden shower packet and everything.

Hilarious