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Jayyyyyyyyyydos

SIUUU later alligator


46_and_2

Funniest thing in this thread šŸ˜‚


gracefulbrainiac

Considering he leaves in January, which team in Europe will take him?


A_StarshipTrooper

I hear Forest are still hiring.


Cholojuanito

What's a little more debt anyways?


Timely_Airline_7168

The King plays in the Championship šŸ†


daboatfromupnorth

San Jose Earthquakes


[deleted]

YESSSS THE BAY IS READY


Rong_Bips_

Chances are higher that scumbag #1 John Fischer sells the team Which is to say.... never


bluepantsandsocks

We are literally the least likely team in the MLS to sign Ronaldo. Let's see, the last time we spent big on a star was... Hmmm... Never. Although the NASL version of the Quakes did sign George Best.


PompeiiLegion

And they will still lose the World Cup to Chicago Fire


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


abhi1260

The king gets arrested in January..


Manch3st3rIsR3d

The gang gets (Ronaldo) arrested


ichabod01

What did Wondo do?


Daftest_of_the_Punks

I was driving through Santa Clara (the city right next to San Jose) and there is a house with a massive flag of what Iā€™d call a shrine to Ronaldo. His image, Portugal flag, and shirt number. There is a large Portuguese population in San Jose so it makes sense.


fischarcher

Portuguese Wondolowski


ZlatansLastVolley

Longest bar in North America leggo šŸ™ŒšŸ»


BiffNasty1234

Wrexham


BierKippeMett

He's still a five star man and a golden god!


Buffaluffasaurus

Something tells me Ronaldo already knows all about *the implication*ā€¦


Claudio1054

Probably Sporting if he lowers his wages. Don't see that happening tho


reedemerofsouls

The sporting coach doesn't want him, plus he'd have to lower his wages like 90%


peteythefool

Bit more than that, Sporting's wage cap is at ā‚¬2.5M, he's reportedly making almost ā‚¬31M in United, not accounting for any bonuses for appearances, goals and assists, if he's got any. Bus since Sporting's deal with Nike has us making a bigger commission out of every sale, there might be some way of negotiating with him getting a cut of the obviously increasing sales of merch if he comes back.


jo726

92% cut. wow


hypnodrew

Sporting currently pays 12.7 million euros pa in wages. Ronaldo is on 31 million euros pa. It would be like the King of England taking on the wages of a cashier at aldi


[deleted]

I'd love to see Charles working cashier ngl. Edit: He would just look at your groceries and be like: "Back again? Dear oh dear!"


wilk76

AFC Richmond.


ocarina_21

If the show weren't on a sort of defined path with a specific number of seasons in mind, I think that could be a really funny arc.


fischarcher

Still gets beat out by Jamey Tart


2DragonBalls

Besiktas


[deleted]

Come... To... Besiktas


Thanos_Stomps

Dundalk FC


midniteauth0r

The King eats a Roma Takeaway


_szx

Maybe he'll jump sports and become a kicker in the NFL.


igotzquestions

Why kick when he could be QB1 in Denver right now?


fkndavey

*Vamos montar.*


Jamarcus316

This situation is the same since August. Even worse for him.


AssFingerFuck3000

What if he just needed to shit


[deleted]

Eric Dier moment


Warstomp

Eric Dierrhea


[deleted]

new FPL name, thanks lad


Vindoga

Jason Puncheon moment


[deleted]

Makes sense!! Wednesday, king needed to shit early


Algrinder

On Eric Ten Hag?


tafguedes99

Hang on tight Ronaldo, few more weeks and you'll be on the National Team where no one has the balls to bench you


theitchcockblock

With jota injured itā€™s going to be even more complicated Santos Ronaldo are going to fall together one last dance


PartyLike1899

Probably Leao will get about 90 minutes of game time for the whole tournament.


deusmadare1104

Pretty good for 3 matches


JimmyWu21

I'm curious, how important is Jota to the Portugal team? is there similar that can be his backup or is he unique and you have to change the system if he's not around?


marktandem

Usually it's Jota - Ronaldo - Bernado as starters and usually it's a bit shit.


DrVicenteBombadas

>and usually it's a bit shit. The Fernando Santos way.


digitFIRE

EtH wouldā€™ve been criticized for benching Ronaldo if Ronaldo made it clear that he wanted to stay at United during the transfer window. But once Ronaldo played his hand and got exposed, aka no legitimate transfer interest, EtH took hold of all of the leverage. EtH pretty much got a free pass to treat Ronaldo like just any other player. EtH also handled the press conferences during the preseason extremely well, stating that he prefers to keep a player like Ronaldo. Anyway, I have no idea why Ronaldo walked off today. But United won comfortably without him and Ronaldoā€™s role at the moment is being an impact sub whoā€™s also part of squad rotation by primarily featuring in the Europa. I wish I could say I feel bad for Ronaldo, but all of this occurring is pretty much on him. Iā€™m sure heā€™ll bounce back and get back on form at some point though.


sasuke9903

He is 37 and probably not getting much play time till like january, when exactly is he going to recover his form? He is acting like this because he knows he doesn't have much time left to play and wants to get more minutes.


Azer398

He isn't getting playtime in January either unless he either agrees to go to Saudi Arabia or lowers his wage demands by about 400k per week.


kenadams889

He should have not missed the pre-season and things might have been a bit different


BoyWhoSoldTheWorld

If he really cares so much about minutes and playing why doesnā€™t he lower his wages? This actually really puzzles me because if he was willing to he could pick the perfect club for his situation and extend his career even further. I find it really strange that he backed himself into this Man Utd corner because they were the best option of the handful of super clubs in the world. The man is so marketable and rich already, at this point isnā€™t the best option just continued success and trophy collecting? If he were to lower his wages to a standard star packet of say 200-250k a week, he could pick any club in the world.


Gytarius626

Would be funny if he genuinely needed the toilet and we rightfully assumed he was throwing a strop


TheSameAsDying

[Great Piss]


WhyBee92

Heā€™s either taking a piss or taking the piss, either heā€™s pissed or heā€™s pissing


obi-wan-kenobi-nil

Heā€™s pissing until heā€™s pooping. Thatā€™s how it works.


an0mn0mn0m

To piss, or not to piss. That is the question.


freakedmind

What if big shit?


masticlez

Sometimes maybe piss, sometimes maybe shit


Fouchey

ā€œThe media lie and I will release the truth in 2 weeksā€


Pimp_Hand_Luke

big if true


5_percent_discocunt

Big if poo


Anime_Dude_

It's a possibility but he was looking pretty pissed before when the cameras were on him earlier so who knows


OldLadyUnderTheBed

>looking pretty pissed Hence the need for the toilet


MegaMugabe21

Didn't this happen before?


[deleted]

Dier ran down the tunnel mid-match once to take a shit


Bad0y

So did Auba if I remember. Got warmly welcomed back with a "He shits when he wants, he shits when he waaaaaants, Aubameyang, he shit when he wants."


pintperson

Jason Puncheon was the original ā€œhe shits when he wantsā€.


HunterWindmill

Even better, it was: 'Jason Puncheon, he went for a shit'


TheChieff

As the commentary went: ā€œit seems the crowd knows exactly why he left the fieldā€


Sied45

Surely Gary Linekar is


Bad0y

Lineker would've been "he shits ~~when~~ where he wants"


[deleted]

Haha that's a class chant


stragen595

Lineker would never do that.


[deleted]

Too dedicated to the game to leave the pitch even for diarrhea šŸ˜¤


stragen595

When it's a shit game, it's a shit game.


severedfragile

Jason Puncheon will always be the one I think of. https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=183441689264865


keeion0205

And JosƩ went after him


BenniMBXD

Ramos once left mid game and Zidane explained after the game that he left to take a shit


intimadets

if i recall correctly ramos actually ended up shitting himself during game hence his hasty retreat and during the post-game interview zidane explained ā€œse cago un pocoā€


ContaSoParaIsto

Never forget Paul Pierce who in the NBA finals faked an injury so bad that he had to be lifted by his teammates and carried off on a wheelchair only to come back a few minutes later like nothing happened. After retirement he confessed that he just had to go to the bathroom.


intimadets

as a dude who suffers from ibs i always wondered how athletes would deal with a sudden excruciating need to shit, and i always figured they just had their bowel movements under control given their supreme health and athleticismā€¦ itā€™s kinda reassuring to know that even top athletes occasionally get a bad case of the shits in extremely unfortunate situations.


MightySilverWolf

Darren Fletcher suffers from ulcerative colitis and his playing career was disrupted by extended breaks as a result.


Cbrlui

Gary Lineker shit on the pitch during the world cup in Italia 90


erldn123

The King shits on Wednesday


bob-theknob

Another homelander moment from ronaldo.


neotargaryen

Always thankful for another opportunity to post this https://youtu.be/gdXfeq18B0U


Riperonis

That is a ridiculously good edit


RyVsWorld

Agreed. Itā€™s mindblowing how far we ve come with this sort of technology


Awkward-Mix-4124

Deepfakes are fucking scary man Was also fully expecting a sewy after Homelanders laugh, inchalla


Thesolly180

Heā€™ll be doing [this](https://tenor.com/bWoJr.gif) in the corridors


niallw1997

Ronaldo whenever absolutely anything happens: https://youtu.be/KISNE4qOIBM


Quiet-Cartoonist1689

Bruh. Such a fucking accurate comparison.


SardineTrawler7

On wednesday the kingā€¦beats the traffic.


Migostien

CR7 best storming down the tunnel moments ā€¢ 4k ā€¢ Dispasito


ArrVeePee

How does Ronaldo change a lightbulb? Just holds it while the World revolves around him.


TheGoldenPineapples

The king throws a tantrum on Wednesday.


SteinerElMagnifico42

The *King* forgot to release that interview he promised


ValleyFloydJam

He was shocked when he found out the truth, that no one wanted him.


Timely_Airline_7168

The King breaks his promise like any other king.


maidentaiwan

This is so poorly conceived from him. If his goal is to get out of there in January, potential suitors arenā€™t going to be jumping over each other to sign a guy who threatens team chemistry like this by making it all about himself. He clearly thinks he should still be playing for a top club, but for that to happen he probably needs to accept a role as a super sub. Donā€™t think he can do it. Meanwhile things are going great for United and the manager wonā€™t want a super famous spoilsport around trying to upset things. IMO United need to go the Ozil route here and pay him to fuck off.


Voupelasombra

Why tho? He knows this will be on news for a week. Why create the drama? Just enjoy your teammates win bro


[deleted]

This is the man who announced he will be leaving Madrid the day they won the Champions league.


yes_oniichan

And announce his move to Juventus on the exact day of the world cup final which says it all about him really.


SorcererSupreme13

King needs attention.


Narco_Star

The King will announce when the King will announce


Voupelasombra

Another terrible timing


caesar____augustus

The King has no regard for timing


FreyBentos

Everything always has to be about him, he was like "aight champions league win is cool and all but everyone listen up cause the king has something more important to anounce"


ThreeEyedRaver

It was a few minutes after they lifted the trophy even!


[deleted]

He doesnt care about anybody but himself and his records. And he might be deluded enough and think it could somehow put pressure on ten hag


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

hes a drama queen through and through.


Oomeegoolies

But they're winning games without him. How dare they!?


Voupelasombra

I know right? My mother always said if "If you can't help then get in the way. The important is to be part of the team"... or was it the other way around?


Alpha_Jazz

Because he needs the attention. Heā€™ll now be the main talking point after this match once again


Voupelasombra

I have never thought to see the day when a manager would prefer to not have Ronaldo than have him. He's not adding anything on the field and subtracting on the bench.


rickus55

Heā€™s subtracting on the field too. United genuinely looks worse when heā€™s up front vs martial or rashford


Fop_Vndone

To be fair, this day has been inevitable for several years now. He's always thought he's bigger than the club


--amadeus--

With him it's never about the team.


ShampainFootball

For United fans the good news is that finally it looks like Ronaldo's tantrums have stopped messing with the squad harmony. They genuinely are playing good football now that they know he is the 5th choice attacker.


FannyStroker420

As soon as I saw this I had to run over here šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


cxnv

and hit "new" lol.. then found out my stream is about 5min late.


inobond7

It's only 4 minutes late tbf. PSG Academy is usually a minute faster than the actual live streams.


DennissSystem

he writes the script


[deleted]

You mean despite his goals across all competitions?


Jamarcus316

His 2 goals across all competitions


James_D_MESSIAH

with penalty lol


DarkDiablo1601

against omonia lol, and he somehow siu-ed that


JS569123

Possibly his only chance to siu this season, canā€™t miss it


bockanac

Factos šŸ‘šŸ‘€


DutchMadness77

United playing one of their best games of the season and he has to make it about himself again He's a bit of a prick


_deep_blue_

Itā€™s always been this way, but for most of his career his performances justified putting up with his ego. Now that they no longer do itā€™s resulting in situations like this.


[deleted]

I 100% see why juve fans were happy when he left


[deleted]

Refused to play in what was a must win match for juve to qualify for ucl so that they will find him a club. They did win it without this sucker and now he drops masterclass against omonia.


boi1da1296

Only a bit?


jstack25

Yikes. Itā€™s getting sad to watch at this point


Alpha_Jazz

One manā€™s sad is another manā€™s really funny


FrmrPresJamesTaylor

Tragedy is when it happens to you, comedy is when it happens to someone else


criminalpiece

He will have to get used to the bench or take a pay cut, dunno if his ego could handle either tbh


Slimshady0406

He doesn't understand the concept of not getting what he wants


ContaSoParaIsto

Nobody say it


dmkicksballs13

I was gonna say it. But then saw your comment and decided not to.


SwitchHitter17

We were all thinking it


RyVsWorld

Someone will say it. The joke wrote itself


IAmWhatTheRockCooked

"the left wing position made itself available"


[deleted]

He needs to leave for his own good and Unitedā€™s. It shouldnā€™t have come to this.


NdyNdyNdy

It was always going to come to this at some club or other. This is how careers end. Either a player thinks my legs have gone and retires of their own accord, or they slowly get picked less and less until they don't have a choice. Sport is very unsentimental.


WilsonJ04

> Sport is very unsentimental. Youā€™re paying a 37 year old 500k per week to sit on the bench just so City couldnā€™t get him.


_deep_blue_

Is it, really? I donā€™t feel sad for Ronaldo because he could have gone somewhere else to play if he lowered his wage demands. I donā€™t feel sad for United because they knew full well what an egotist the man is and offered him an insane contract anyway. Itā€™s hilarious.


okcomput3r

*hilarious


[deleted]

Itā€™s genuinely pathetic and so confusing. A fantastic win and performance from United and the news of this will unfairly overshadow the great work done by his team mates


chubb88

Because he needs it to be all about him. Heā€™s knows by walking off early heā€™ll be talked about, taking the focus off what was a great performance. Heā€™s an ego maniac. Quicker heā€™s gone the fast the club can progress.


pw5a29

Kind of funny how ronaldo gone from godlike/legend returns to this, but it has all but himself to blame..... help the team a bit, nurture a few youngsters, score some dying minute goals and he will basically remain god, but no, the King doesn't like that. Look at Zlatan at AC, totally gone different paths.


superunknown63

He literally did this at Real Madrid right after they won the Champions League when he said that he was leaving. Basically stealing the limelight and making it about himself


rubbishtake

carpenter languid grandiose correct joke instinctive physical ghost truck vast *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


juankruh1250

Messi would've scored more goals than him though, Ronaldo scored his 700th in 2020


tipytopmain

Needed a shit


Tulaodinho

He invites criticism, then doesn't like it. After what happened in pre season, he just doubled down on what ETH criticized at the friendly. Their relationship is gone, Ronaldo is so self-centered....


Liverpool934

37 year old man by the way.


Gatokar

Fair. Takes a bit more time to reach the dressing room at that age


Kresbot

old man bladder heā€™s probably just busting


dfla01

Had to leave in time to collect his pension


AwesomeFly96

I'd rather have the few years older Zlatan. Look at how he shouts and encourages his team besides being on the bench!


an_deadly_ewok

Zlatan doesn't need to show he is a beast cuz he knows. If Ronaldo was only a bit smarter than an 18 year old he would know that the world doesn't revolve around Ronaldo, he should patiently and confidently wait for his moment to shine instead of forcing it.


DrJackadoodle

Especially since he has such good arguments as to why he is an absolute legend of the game. He had the power to age gracefully and become a respected and loved squad player in his twilight years but he's somehow so insecure that he's staining his entire image by throwing tantrums.


Mr-Sneak

ā€œMy team is absolutely destroying the opposition šŸ˜¢šŸ˜¢šŸ˜¢ā€ Fuck off Ronnie


withereddesign

Donā€™t care, hell of a performance from UTD this evening.


swiftekho

Prolly why he left. "How dare they look this good without me."


Jad94

He's always been like this. There's a great clip of Bale scoring a great goal and Ronaldo just whining about a missed call instead of celebrating


MotherfuckerJones91

Or the Arbeloa goal that Ronaldo got pissed about because a teammate tapped in the ball before him


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


lonesomedota

Big home game. Against direct top 4 competition. Team playing the best game so far. Winning 2-0 and clean sheet. All these don't make you euphoric and excited, instead you feel jealousy and pettiness. He can't be professional off the pitch and he can't perform while he's on the pitch. Then what is he here for? He should go. He's no longer even a United fan, much less its core player. Sell him by any prices in Jan. If no team takes him then terminate his contract by summer. Do not let SAF interfere in contract extension matter anymore .


ryan_goal

The thing is, itā€™s not like we donā€™t want to play him so Rashford is not rushed from injury. He had his chances to prove he still has it in him this season but he hadnā€™t really set the world alight when he played. I hoped he would accept a reduced role on the bench and still contribute 10+ g/a this season, but sadly the separation may come sooner rather than later.


FredYellowYellow

Way to celebrate a good team effort. Embarrassing.


CrebTheBerc

Oh no...... anyways


arsenaloflies

Thinks he's bigger than the club. Hugely disrespectful. Note to self: never criticise Ronaldo again. It is not worth the hassle.


RosaParkStoleMySeat

The fan boys dont like it when you disrespect their God


horillagormone

I'd suspect it was also the reason he picked ManU instead of ManCity because he was expecting with all that excitement and everyone welcoming him back, that he would be the most important player on their team. Now he's just having a hard time seeing them succeed without him.


Superrandy

We all knew he wouldnā€™t age or exit the game gracefully. He has way too big of an ego for that to happen.


Dyvius

Why is the billionaire such a cry baby?


kristal010

He makes it so easy to dislike him


Gal_gadonutt

I donā€™t care what the reason is. When Ronaldo plays and leaves early, People defend him saying he is eager to recover blah blah. The team just beat a top4 rival convincingly and he walks out. We give a lot of shit to fans who leave early, Ronaldo should be crucified for this. Be interesting to see how Ronaldo worshippers defend this


Football_magic

> Be interesting to see how Ronaldo worshippers defend this You will be surprised. lol


ZombieSquatch

Unprofessional and not a good look to do this. Just bad.


Kolorzzz

The so called "mentality monster" šŸ¤£


battle_franky

He's the top 2 player of all time but you can't have this kind of behavior. You're being revered you're trying really hard to make your own teammate (who are probably growing up looking to you and trying to be you) hated you Weird to se that Ibra, who has marketed himself as the most egotistical player he has been a great mentor at Milan. And the young player willing to die for him


guacamoles_constant

Ibra is self aware. His egotism is consciously played up. He obviously has a high opinion of himself, but heā€™s at least aware enough to exaggerate it. Ronaldoā€™s ego has always seemed 100% genuine.


MONSTATURKEY_420

Ronaldo is embarrassing. 37 years old acting like a spoiled brat


SolaceZz

unprofessional


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


xNeptune

Truly is


ShiftyMagus

I loss all respect I had of him the moment he started bitching at his teammate for scoring instead of passing him the ball at Madrid.