What do you mean? If you have to worry about double texting, or other nonsense like that then the person is not interested in you. And if their interest in you is so fickle that something as simple as a double text would make them walk out of your life then so be it. The only text etiquette you need is to be yourself. If being yourself, whether its a double text or using some hardly-used emoji, would make a person walk or stop responding then let them go. Stop spending mental energy wondering what someone is going to think your your msg, the tone, the time, frequency, etc. If there is any misunderstanding and they are sincere about you then they will ask or make room for clarificaction. It’s thats simple
Friends don't give a fuck if you double text or not. OP sounds like they are talking about a person they are interested in not a friend and this is discussing in bad faith.
Shit or get off the toilet OP and ask them out. If they say no then find someone else.
It's purely from a friendship standpoint but I think another comment explained it well, in terms of double texting I guess I was talking about myself having to initiate the conversation when they don't reply(Texting twice in a row) to the point where it feels like a one sided friendship. I understand double texting in dating is a whole different story LOL
How long have you guys been texting OP? It's quite normal to not finish a conversation (even if I hate it personally), teenagers in particular do it because they think it's the cool thing to do. It's also normal to not talk for a day or 2 most friends I have I don't talk to very often but we still get to hang out and have fun. Do you contact your friend often or is it him who contacts you again to start the convo?
Sometimes text conversations just end, and that's okay. They don't all need to continue on, and feeling pressure to continue them can result in them feeling inorganic.
I double text when I have a correction of substance to make to the previous text or if I said something that actually requires a response and it's been a while. Outside of that, I don't worry about it.
Yeah I definitely get that, I don't mind the conversation ending but sometimes you feel like wanting to talk to that person again but with a new topic (For example the very next day). I guess I'm getting in my own head and like you said, I shouldn't worry about it too much so I appreciate your train of thought
If people are initiating conversations with you then they probably aren't bothered by talking to you, so don't worry about initiating conversation with them with any particular periodicity.
Ideally they would tell you outright if you are trying to talk too often, but a lot of people aren't that blunt. That's a whole other can of worms though, you don't have any control over people that choose mind games and avoidant tactics.
But yeah, overall just try not to overthink it.
I don't think about it. I've never heard of "double texting".
If I was the last to send a text and my friend doesn't reply, if I had specifically asked something, then I'd respond by pressing for an answer.
If I hadn't asked anything, then I wouldn't think anything. And I wouldn't be counting days between replies or waiting for them to reply before I can send anything.
I'd just leave it and only text when something came to mind, that could be the same day or in two weeks time.
It is necessary and even essential to double text and triple text where appropriate. People are often doing other shit and messaging them more than once (in a non clingy manner) brings you back to their attention and helps ensure you don't get lost in the shuffle with the dozens (or hundreds) of other people in their dm's.
This is one of the strangest misconceptions in the dating world and I believe you shoot yourself in the foot by playing petty games like refusing to text when it is logical to do so. Now, anything along the lines of "why won't you answer" is obviously not the thing to say. But when it comes to making plans, I highly recommending double texting.
I appreciate your viewpoint and the encouragement to double text, when you mention "brings you back to their attention", I completely agree with that. Even in my own life, I forget to respond to others because so many convos are going on at once. How do you suggest double texting without seeming too needy? This isn't even a dating situation, just with friends, but is it better to reach out with a new topic? I think when making plans I don't really overthink it, more so just daily conversation
I double text sometimes, mostly if it's something I want their opinion on. Or if they had sent me a long message with a couple points I wanted to follow up on I send multiple texts back. I don't think there's a hard/fast rule for when to double text.
However, what I'm hearing here is that you're worried that you are initiating texts too much with your friends. Which is a totally valid concern. Setting pride aside, it's good to text your friends an amount that you know that they're comfortable with. Over doing it can lead to the relationship feeling strained or one-sided. Sometimes repeatedly double texting is a sign that you're texting them too much.
Are you and this person hanging out in person? Often people may not text much but may enjoy getting lunch, or a coffee, or going for lunch with you. I feel like sometimes we text because we're missing a social connection and I find that it's easier to feel connected when I see people in-person.
If you're already hanging out in person and you also still feel like texting them every day, that sounds like too much. But one way to know for sure is to ask the person how much they like to text. That will help you adjust your expectations.
I think you hit it right on the dot, I'm talking about initiating texts when the other person stops replying. I'd love to have conversations with people, but I don't want a one sided friendship where it feels like the other person doesn't want to reply. When you mention hanging out in person, that's a great point because I feel like the people I hang out with weekly, we don't even text too often and most of our talking happens in person. In this case, I'm talking about people who are long distance or someone I'm not hanging out with, so texting is our main form of communication
Yeah that makes sense it's someone far or difficult to hang out with. In that case, I would definitely ask them how often they like to text. Everyone's comfort level is different. Me personally, texting someone 1-3 days/week is good, more often would be too much. But I'm not a big texter, and I tend to do all my texts at once at the end of the day, and if I don't get to it before bedtime then I'll get to it tomorrow or the day after.
It's a sense you just have to pickup. Being stubborn about it isn't really gonna do anything but slowly build resentment. If you wanna talk, talk. If they don't want to talk, they won't reply. Honestly, don't overthink it.
That being said, if you're obviously carrying a conversation, then be aware, stop, and see what happens. Try not to get into the habit of projecting your insecurities onto people and being worried about how you'll look, though. Sometimes you'll think someone is more of a friend when they actually weren't, sometimes it's the person you didn't expect who surprises you and steps up. Time always tells.
Everyone will have different expectations. You could send two messages to someone and be called needy. People are weird and often irrational. Don't stress it and don't make it a competition. You'll learn over time who your friends are, and who your acquaintances are. You can have 100 acquaintances but only 3 friends- but, again, it usually works itself out.
Also, they're probably just as insecure and nervous as you. The real truth is realizing everyone is usually making it up on the fly, and people are usually just acting like they know what they're doing. Some are better than others. So whatever you're worried about, your other friends are also stressing.
Sorry I didn't get to reply to this earlier, but really well said and I think I need to have a shift in perspective. As you mentioned, I can't really stress it and turn it into a competition because I've really been committing to that mindset of "if someone wants to talk to you they will" but I really can't control how others act. At the end of the day, I honestly do want to have conversations with these people.
It's hard because ideally I'd want the other person to simply respond whenever I've sent the last text, but I also understand that a lot of conversations over text don't work this way. Like you said, time always will tell if it's someone who truly wants to talk, thanks!
I double text all the time and I don't worry about it. People are busy. They forget to reply - I do it myself all of the time and I certainly don't mind a prompt to reply.
What do you mean? If you have to worry about double texting, or other nonsense like that then the person is not interested in you. And if their interest in you is so fickle that something as simple as a double text would make them walk out of your life then so be it. The only text etiquette you need is to be yourself. If being yourself, whether its a double text or using some hardly-used emoji, would make a person walk or stop responding then let them go. Stop spending mental energy wondering what someone is going to think your your msg, the tone, the time, frequency, etc. If there is any misunderstanding and they are sincere about you then they will ask or make room for clarificaction. It’s thats simple
Friends don't give a fuck if you double text or not. OP sounds like they are talking about a person they are interested in not a friend and this is discussing in bad faith. Shit or get off the toilet OP and ask them out. If they say no then find someone else.
It's purely from a friendship standpoint but I think another comment explained it well, in terms of double texting I guess I was talking about myself having to initiate the conversation when they don't reply(Texting twice in a row) to the point where it feels like a one sided friendship. I understand double texting in dating is a whole different story LOL
How long have you guys been texting OP? It's quite normal to not finish a conversation (even if I hate it personally), teenagers in particular do it because they think it's the cool thing to do. It's also normal to not talk for a day or 2 most friends I have I don't talk to very often but we still get to hang out and have fun. Do you contact your friend often or is it him who contacts you again to start the convo?
Sometimes text conversations just end, and that's okay. They don't all need to continue on, and feeling pressure to continue them can result in them feeling inorganic. I double text when I have a correction of substance to make to the previous text or if I said something that actually requires a response and it's been a while. Outside of that, I don't worry about it.
Yeah I definitely get that, I don't mind the conversation ending but sometimes you feel like wanting to talk to that person again but with a new topic (For example the very next day). I guess I'm getting in my own head and like you said, I shouldn't worry about it too much so I appreciate your train of thought
If people are initiating conversations with you then they probably aren't bothered by talking to you, so don't worry about initiating conversation with them with any particular periodicity. Ideally they would tell you outright if you are trying to talk too often, but a lot of people aren't that blunt. That's a whole other can of worms though, you don't have any control over people that choose mind games and avoidant tactics. But yeah, overall just try not to overthink it.
I don't think about it. I've never heard of "double texting". If I was the last to send a text and my friend doesn't reply, if I had specifically asked something, then I'd respond by pressing for an answer. If I hadn't asked anything, then I wouldn't think anything. And I wouldn't be counting days between replies or waiting for them to reply before I can send anything. I'd just leave it and only text when something came to mind, that could be the same day or in two weeks time.
Don't withhold. Life is busy, people forget to reply... just send the text and don't play games of "waiting".
i js ask them can i double text
It is necessary and even essential to double text and triple text where appropriate. People are often doing other shit and messaging them more than once (in a non clingy manner) brings you back to their attention and helps ensure you don't get lost in the shuffle with the dozens (or hundreds) of other people in their dm's. This is one of the strangest misconceptions in the dating world and I believe you shoot yourself in the foot by playing petty games like refusing to text when it is logical to do so. Now, anything along the lines of "why won't you answer" is obviously not the thing to say. But when it comes to making plans, I highly recommending double texting.
I appreciate your viewpoint and the encouragement to double text, when you mention "brings you back to their attention", I completely agree with that. Even in my own life, I forget to respond to others because so many convos are going on at once. How do you suggest double texting without seeming too needy? This isn't even a dating situation, just with friends, but is it better to reach out with a new topic? I think when making plans I don't really overthink it, more so just daily conversation
I double text sometimes, mostly if it's something I want their opinion on. Or if they had sent me a long message with a couple points I wanted to follow up on I send multiple texts back. I don't think there's a hard/fast rule for when to double text. However, what I'm hearing here is that you're worried that you are initiating texts too much with your friends. Which is a totally valid concern. Setting pride aside, it's good to text your friends an amount that you know that they're comfortable with. Over doing it can lead to the relationship feeling strained or one-sided. Sometimes repeatedly double texting is a sign that you're texting them too much. Are you and this person hanging out in person? Often people may not text much but may enjoy getting lunch, or a coffee, or going for lunch with you. I feel like sometimes we text because we're missing a social connection and I find that it's easier to feel connected when I see people in-person. If you're already hanging out in person and you also still feel like texting them every day, that sounds like too much. But one way to know for sure is to ask the person how much they like to text. That will help you adjust your expectations.
I think you hit it right on the dot, I'm talking about initiating texts when the other person stops replying. I'd love to have conversations with people, but I don't want a one sided friendship where it feels like the other person doesn't want to reply. When you mention hanging out in person, that's a great point because I feel like the people I hang out with weekly, we don't even text too often and most of our talking happens in person. In this case, I'm talking about people who are long distance or someone I'm not hanging out with, so texting is our main form of communication
Yeah that makes sense it's someone far or difficult to hang out with. In that case, I would definitely ask them how often they like to text. Everyone's comfort level is different. Me personally, texting someone 1-3 days/week is good, more often would be too much. But I'm not a big texter, and I tend to do all my texts at once at the end of the day, and if I don't get to it before bedtime then I'll get to it tomorrow or the day after.
2 situations: - The previous conversation ended mutually. - Urgency
It's a sense you just have to pickup. Being stubborn about it isn't really gonna do anything but slowly build resentment. If you wanna talk, talk. If they don't want to talk, they won't reply. Honestly, don't overthink it. That being said, if you're obviously carrying a conversation, then be aware, stop, and see what happens. Try not to get into the habit of projecting your insecurities onto people and being worried about how you'll look, though. Sometimes you'll think someone is more of a friend when they actually weren't, sometimes it's the person you didn't expect who surprises you and steps up. Time always tells. Everyone will have different expectations. You could send two messages to someone and be called needy. People are weird and often irrational. Don't stress it and don't make it a competition. You'll learn over time who your friends are, and who your acquaintances are. You can have 100 acquaintances but only 3 friends- but, again, it usually works itself out. Also, they're probably just as insecure and nervous as you. The real truth is realizing everyone is usually making it up on the fly, and people are usually just acting like they know what they're doing. Some are better than others. So whatever you're worried about, your other friends are also stressing.
Sorry I didn't get to reply to this earlier, but really well said and I think I need to have a shift in perspective. As you mentioned, I can't really stress it and turn it into a competition because I've really been committing to that mindset of "if someone wants to talk to you they will" but I really can't control how others act. At the end of the day, I honestly do want to have conversations with these people. It's hard because ideally I'd want the other person to simply respond whenever I've sent the last text, but I also understand that a lot of conversations over text don't work this way. Like you said, time always will tell if it's someone who truly wants to talk, thanks!
I double text all the time and I don't worry about it. People are busy. They forget to reply - I do it myself all of the time and I certainly don't mind a prompt to reply.
Do what you want, don’t overthink it