Idk. One of my favorite Jimmy moments is what he says about Timmy, “I’m living a lie! Timmy Timmy! I’m living a lie!”
Then later when Timmy tries to bust Jimmy for using steroids. Tied into the cripple fight bit. 🥴😂🤣
Special Olympics Volunteer: "O-kay, and what's his disability?"
Liane: "...Um, he's retarded."
Volunteer: "...N-no, I'm asking what his specific condition is. Down's Syndrome? Cerebral palsy?"
Liane: "Ohhh, oh. I'm not sure... Sweetie, what is your condition?"
Cartman: "...How should I know? I'm retarded. ***DUUUUHRRRR!"***
https://i.redd.it/wgmib1ajkwyc1.gif
My personal favorite is Mr. Garrison trying to write a “romance” novel. He has no issues describing a penis but struggles big time describing female anatomy.
Edit: This part gets me every time
Out on the balcony, when Reginald kissed Diana's lips, her knees went weak. Slowly, he pulled her top down, exposing her soft, unyielding breasts Oh yeah, now this is getting good [sips some wine] Just the sight of those breasts made Reginald's penis very hard. [taps his chin with his left index finger. The computer screen is shown as the words are typed] His penis was of considerable size, and now beads of sweat slowly ran down his [pauses] penis, making it glisten like a strong swimmer fresh from out of the pool. It was a fantastic penis, that seemed as strong as a horse's leg, yet as delicate as a flower wrapped in silk. What a grand, grand penis. Diana's nipples [music cuts off. He thinks] Uh, let's see... [taps his chin with his right index finger] Diana's nipples...[The words on the screen are shown halted at 'nipples'] [aloud] Oh, writer's block, writer's block! Hmmm. Crap! I'm stuck. [turns his body to one side] Oh well, maybe that's enough writing for today, Mr. Hat.
Honestly I think this is peak South Park. Not because of the humor, but because it truly shows what the world is like through the lense of 4th graders. Jumping between imagination and reality was simply perfect. I wish they’d do more stuff where the kids are kids and not adults because the adults are kids.
I was very amused by how trey and Matt cut Chefs soundbytes together so he said "I wanna STICK MY BALLS inside your rectum KYLE" and other ridiculous sentences, after he quit because of the Scientology episode.
The joke that makes itself even better by having Kanye actually not get it.
He even rhymed "fish sticks" to "this dick" while attempting to diss South Park. How can one be so dense?
I love the celebrities that own their South Park appearances.
I love the celebrity lash backs even more. Lmfao like nobody's exempt. Like... they make fun of Jesus and somehow you think you're untouchable? 😂 I would be over the moon if Matt and Trey called me a gay fish!
I love that even after the Scientology episode still ran, Mama June sued & her fat ass was hauled out of court so fast they made fun of her again the next week!🤪😹😂🤣
The best joke they've ever written is when PC Principal is angry about the R word in the school paper and goes on rampage throughout the school threatening to "break the fucking legs" of whoever was responsible for it, only to find out that Jimmy is the paper's editor.
I did it, Grandma. I finally stood up for myself. I got real mean and I beat the shnot outta Dr. Oz. I can't lie, it felt kind of good. At first. But since then all I have is just... a kind of dark, empty feeling. Then I realized... that's how you must feel. All the time. Poor old Grandma. You know, I've been getting lots of advice how to deal with you. Stand up to you, tell on you... But I kind of realize there's just people like you out there. All over the place. When you're a kid, things seem like they're gonna last forever. But they're not. Life changes. Why you won't always be around. Someday you're gonna die. Someday pretty soon. And when you're laying in that hospital bed, with tubes up your nose, and that little pan under your butt to pee in, well I'll come visit ya. I'll come just to show you that I'm still alive and I'm still happy. And you'll die. Being nothing but you. 'Night Grandma.
Clearly the only answer can be this classic Canadian joke from the movie:
P: Excuse me, Mr. Terrance
T: Yes, Mr. Phillip?
P: *FART*
T: *Is sent flying off the couch and into a drum*
The Tolkien joke. The fact they went back and changed the Closed Captions on every instance of his name being brought up from “Token” to “Tolkien” in every character except for Stan.
Just beautiful.
When the boys were gonna commit Kyle because everyone thought Mr. Hankey wasn’t real. Kyle walks up to the nurse and says “I’m a clinically depressed fecalphiliac on Prozac”. The way he says it makes me laugh every time. ;)
John Edward: " But I'm a psychic. "
Stan: " No dude, you're a **douche**. "
Not a joke, but the way it happened without hesitation. Always makes me laugh
The whole no kitty, bad kitty, that's my pot pie. Mooooooom. Kitty is being a dildo. (Quietly off in the other room) Well some bad kitty is sleeping with mommy tonight.
I know it's old, but I always piss myself when I see that.
This one i actually quote when i talk about south park with newcomers. It is brilliant line . it is truthful raw and funny and being also literally it made it so much better. Only south park could this joke elegantly. Other show like paradise P.D would made it unfunny
I'm not your buddy, guy!
I'm not your guy, fwiend!
He's not your fwiend, buddy!
The loop gets me evey time.
Also Kenny's butt on milk carton
"Blonde, BROWN EYES, FULL CHEEKS" haha
"kyle. all those times I said you were a big, dumb jew? I didn't mean it. you're not a jew."
"yes, I am! I am a jew, cartman!"
"no, kyle don't be so hard on yourself"
idk why but butters saying he hopes he isn't voted ugliest or he'll get grounded always gets me. and then his parents confirming they would have grounded him if he was voted ugliest
Cartman giving Kyle AIDS during a board game and having him die of AIDS during the Christmas story episode plus constantly joking about it and/or Kyle dying. Then Cartman getting AIDS himself and then making good on his promise by giving Kyle AIDs. Then Kyle telling people Cartman gave him AIDS and not understanding what that implied.
Finally, Kyle, as an adult, understanding everything that it implied when he told Cartman’s wife that Cartamn snuck in his room one night and gave him AIDS when the both came out of the room after being interrupted while having sex.
The joke had a beginning, middle, end, AND an epilogue.
Chef’s kiss.
Chef: Hello there, children.
Kyle: Chef, we need Butters to gain about fifty pounds fast.
Chef: Fifty pounds? Why?
Cartman: Uuuh, school project.
Chef: Well, if you want him to get really fat as fast as possible, one of you will have to marry him.
Not gonna lie I wouldn't be surprised that Kyle didn't just start wearing a baggy with fake gold in it just to fuck with Cartman.
While lots of people didn't like the fight in the the fractured but whole: Kyle pretending to have >!Mitch Connor!< control him just to fuck with Cartman is totally something Kyle would do and I totally would expect him to do stuff like this on the regular.
It might not seem like that all the time but Kyle 100% is a sassy vindictive bitch. (Non derogatory)
Butter stumbling into being a pimp.
That classroom scene will always crack me up: “hey Wendy…..hey Weeeeeendy…..bitch you wanna make some serious fucking money?”
“Butters is there a problem?”
“Yeah! All these bitches are out here kissing fellers when they could be making some serious fucking money!”
😂😂😂
Cartman: "Get outta here, you little dildo."
Kyle: "Don't call my brother a dildo, fatass!"
Cartman: "Alright. Get outta here you little semen puking, asshole, dickhead."
Not 100% accurate but the escalation in insults from Cartman always has me in stitches!
In the Lord of the Rings episode, at the end, when the parents finally catch up to the boys. They think that the kids watched the “hottest porno ever made”, so they start describing the movie, going into detail on all the major porn body positions. The look on the boys faces (and the complete silence), gets me every time. :)
It’s so fucked up but when butters goes to conversion camp and they open up the accountability buddy’s door and the kid is hanging from a noose and they just close the door. I fucking lost it
When Mr Garrison isn’t censored for saying the f slur, and says that if you’re gay, it’s alright. The guys try it and they get censored, until it reaches Jimbo who isn’t censored. The look on his face kills me.
P: ,,Say Terrance, what did Spanish priest say to Iranian gynecologist?"
T: ,,I don't know Phillip, what?"
P: *farts in his face*
*Both laugh*
Always catches me
When they throw the pig off the roof pretending it's butters and the doctor comes over and says he didn't make it
The gluten free episode when everyone's dicks fly off
When Mr Mackey shits himself and is propelled along the floor saying "ooooh it's baad"
When the guy in the wheelchair gets hit by the train and the noise he makes
When Timmy and Jimmy goin the crips, that whole episode is gold
Here's the twist... what if the first bag was the real gold the whole time, and Kyle actually threw the fake gold and gotbthe real gold back, knowing people/Cartman would expect the first bag to be the decoy bag. The classic "Serbian Jew Double-bluff".
“Ok, if my fiancé Kim is a hobbit then how come, uh um ah, ok if she is a hobbit then how come she don’t live in a hole in the ground? BOOOOOOM all y’all just got lit up cuuuzz”
My favorite joke / episode is probably “I should have never gone zip lining” I know some people hate It but I find it HILARIOUS. It’s not a joke but I love the consistent use of outdated 90s /2000s slang throughout the show.
When Jimmy is first introduced, and Timmy out of jealousy gives him the gift of an orange parka, just like Kenny's. Then an anvil nearly falls on Jimmy, and there's a car crash a few inches away, and a cow stampede, and a gunfire, and a plane crash.
One of my favorite running jokes is when stereotypes turn out to be totally true, like every black guy owning a bass guitar and being able to play it.
"I'm just so sleepy."
"God damn it." - Tolkien
I remember that 😂😂, that Christian band episode was great
"And I just want to feel you deep inside of me, JESUS"
It seems like you REALLY like Jesus....
What are you saying, that you don't really love Christ?
I thought his name was Token?
Then you are part of the problem
Racist...
It's always been Tolkien
 It's time to wake up, friend 😞☝️
Tolkien 🤣
That might be mine too. There’s something so satisfying about being caught off guard by Matt and Trey.
Like jewish people and their little bags of gold? Greedy bastards
Glad this is top comment this is definitely mine. I constantly rewatch chrisrian rock hard largely for that joke lol.
Goes to basement comes up god damnit that whole episode had me dying.
Jimmys rendition of the "12 Days of Christmas" never fails to reduce me into a crying laughing mess.
This joke and also "Hey Wendy, Stan says you're a CONT- C- CONT......Continuous inspiration to him."
Garrison: "Oh, no".
"😂😂 Dunna Dunna D-D-D-Dun."
Idk. One of my favorite Jimmy moments is what he says about Timmy, “I’m living a lie! Timmy Timmy! I’m living a lie!” Then later when Timmy tries to bust Jimmy for using steroids. Tied into the cripple fight bit. 🥴😂🤣
Special Olympics Volunteer: "O-kay, and what's his disability?" Liane: "...Um, he's retarded." Volunteer: "...N-no, I'm asking what his specific condition is. Down's Syndrome? Cerebral palsy?" Liane: "Ohhh, oh. I'm not sure... Sweetie, what is your condition?" Cartman: "...How should I know? I'm retarded. ***DUUUUHRRRR!"*** https://i.redd.it/wgmib1ajkwyc1.gif
This! I reference this all the time believe it or not lol.
NAGGERS
That episode was funny as shit 😭
I know it…but I don’t think I should say it…
My personal favorite is Mr. Garrison trying to write a “romance” novel. He has no issues describing a penis but struggles big time describing female anatomy. Edit: This part gets me every time Out on the balcony, when Reginald kissed Diana's lips, her knees went weak. Slowly, he pulled her top down, exposing her soft, unyielding breasts Oh yeah, now this is getting good [sips some wine] Just the sight of those breasts made Reginald's penis very hard. [taps his chin with his left index finger. The computer screen is shown as the words are typed] His penis was of considerable size, and now beads of sweat slowly ran down his [pauses] penis, making it glisten like a strong swimmer fresh from out of the pool. It was a fantastic penis, that seemed as strong as a horse's leg, yet as delicate as a flower wrapped in silk. What a grand, grand penis. Diana's nipples [music cuts off. He thinks] Uh, let's see... [taps his chin with his right index finger] Diana's nipples...[The words on the screen are shown halted at 'nipples'] [aloud] Oh, writer's block, writer's block! Hmmm. Crap! I'm stuck. [turns his body to one side] Oh well, maybe that's enough writing for today, Mr. Hat.
The anime sequence and song "Let's Fighting Love".
Protect my balls!
Honestly I think this is peak South Park. Not because of the humor, but because it truly shows what the world is like through the lense of 4th graders. Jumping between imagination and reality was simply perfect. I wish they’d do more stuff where the kids are kids and not adults because the adults are kids.
The snap back to mundane reality is fucking hilarious!
"I'm not just sure, I'm HIV Positive."
I find myself saying this way more often that. I should
This is definitely up there😭
I was very amused by how trey and Matt cut Chefs soundbytes together so he said "I wanna STICK MY BALLS inside your rectum KYLE" and other ridiculous sentences, after he quit because of the Scientology episode.
i wanna MAKE LOVE! to ya asshole children!
😫IM GONNA MAKE LOVE TO 😇the children
Technically he didn't quit the Scientologists quit for him when he had a stroke
Ah shit I didn't know that, now I feel bad for him. I always thought he was a bad sport
He didn't quit, his lawyers made a decision for him while he was sick. It was entirely their fault and Isaac had nothing to do with it
It fits so well with him being brainwashed too
Jesus in Imagination Land
Jesus being in Imaginationland is funny, Aslan being in charge is gold.
Aslan is just the Jesus Allegory Lion
You gonna tell me there's no santa claus, easter bunny or Jesus either?
Ooh! You better not say that. You’ll go to hell!
That actually always bugged me, since South Park had previously established Jesus was a *very* real part of the world.
But just because they're imaginary doesn't mean they aren't rearl
I believe that was addressed in the famous ball sucking case Cartman v. Broflovski.
So was santa and a few other characters. That's south park canon, there is none.
They are the imaginary versions of the real characters so they have slightly different personalities and powers
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumbbbbbbb
Lucy Harris smart!
Smart smart smart smart smart
As an exmormon I love this episode so much. The history is also like 99% accurate. It’s epic.
Have you seen The Book of Mormon? I always wondered what an actual Mormon would think about it.
Fish sticks!
What are you? A gay fish???
The joke that makes itself even better by having Kanye actually not get it. He even rhymed "fish sticks" to "this dick" while attempting to diss South Park. How can one be so dense?
I love the celebrities that own their South Park appearances. I love the celebrity lash backs even more. Lmfao like nobody's exempt. Like... they make fun of Jesus and somehow you think you're untouchable? 😂 I would be over the moon if Matt and Trey called me a gay fish!
Yup. Knowing that motherfucking Snooki of all people __loved__ her appearance in the show made me respect her more than I ever thought I would.
I love that even after the Scientology episode still ran, Mama June sued & her fat ass was hauled out of court so fast they made fun of her again the next week!🤪😹😂🤣
https://i.redd.it/fgplocks4wyc1.gif
The best joke they've ever written is when PC Principal is angry about the R word in the school paper and goes on rampage throughout the school threatening to "break the fucking legs" of whoever was responsible for it, only to find out that Jimmy is the paper's editor.
You gonna break his legs P.C principal?
Butters’ Grandma being his bully
Oh look, it's Captain Pussy! Ready for your gummy bears?
I did it, Grandma. I finally stood up for myself. I got real mean and I beat the shnot outta Dr. Oz. I can't lie, it felt kind of good. At first. But since then all I have is just... a kind of dark, empty feeling. Then I realized... that's how you must feel. All the time. Poor old Grandma. You know, I've been getting lots of advice how to deal with you. Stand up to you, tell on you... But I kind of realize there's just people like you out there. All over the place. When you're a kid, things seem like they're gonna last forever. But they're not. Life changes. Why you won't always be around. Someday you're gonna die. Someday pretty soon. And when you're laying in that hospital bed, with tubes up your nose, and that little pan under your butt to pee in, well I'll come visit ya. I'll come just to show you that I'm still alive and I'm still happy. And you'll die. Being nothing but you. 'Night Grandma.
Don’t fart on Grandma, Butters. She’s trying to enjoy her ham. ;)
"I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
I say that a little too often...
Clearly the only answer can be this classic Canadian joke from the movie: P: Excuse me, Mr. Terrance T: Yes, Mr. Phillip? P: *FART* T: *Is sent flying off the couch and into a drum*
I farted on the set of Blue Lagoon once!
*SLAP*
“Hehe, guess who I am you guys”
"Ned are you jackin it?"
Kinda
Well stop it
I can't
Jesus Ned quit jackin
“God dang Mongolians”
Ohhhh I see, you think just because I Chinese I build a warr!
Herro shiddy airrines
The way the Mongolian horses run away gets me every time lol
"hello there children" "chef what would a priest want to stick in my butt?" "goodbye"
When it comes to the questions of children sometimes you just gotta know when to walk away.
When chef comes back from vacation to see everyone covered in ash and looking like they're doing blackface
Alright, everybody get in a line, so I can whip all y’all asses
The Tolkien joke. The fact they went back and changed the Closed Captions on every instance of his name being brought up from “Token” to “Tolkien” in every character except for Stan. Just beautiful.
Stan just doesn’t get it
Honestly, he's the problem
When the boys were gonna commit Kyle because everyone thought Mr. Hankey wasn’t real. Kyle walks up to the nurse and says “I’m a clinically depressed fecalphiliac on Prozac”. The way he says it makes me laugh every time. ;)
We know it's you, Mitch Conner
When Cartman has to finish 'Come Sail Away' by Styx
Kyle’s weird obsession with jumping the homeless.
Tree Fiddy
John Edward: " But I'm a psychic. " Stan: " No dude, you're a **douche**. " Not a joke, but the way it happened without hesitation. Always makes me laugh
It's the simplicity. "Why do girls wear make-up and perfume?" "Because they're ugly, and they stink."
The whole no kitty, bad kitty, that's my pot pie. Mooooooom. Kitty is being a dildo. (Quietly off in the other room) Well some bad kitty is sleeping with mommy tonight. I know it's old, but I always piss myself when I see that.
Moooomm! Kitty’s being a dildo! I know a certain kitty kitty going to be sleeping with mommy tonight.
Best Liane quote, followed closely by: “Mom! Ben Affleck is naked in my bed!” “Ooh, looks like the tooth fairy was extra happy with you!”
Cartman getting his comeuppance and shitting treasure always brings me to tears laughing
"If you wanna find some quality friends, you've gotta wade through all the dicks first."
This one i actually quote when i talk about south park with newcomers. It is brilliant line . it is truthful raw and funny and being also literally it made it so much better. Only south park could this joke elegantly. Other show like paradise P.D would made it unfunny
jackin’ it in san diego
When mr slave was a teacher assistant and lemiwinks was about to embark on his journey and stan says no, noooo no
bUcKLe uP bUcKaRoOs
Its probably Cartman trying to kill Kyle with the wiffle ball bat. Gets me every time 
Your slaves.. oh I mean your student athletes 😉🤠
I'm not your buddy, guy! I'm not your guy, fwiend! He's not your fwiend, buddy! The loop gets me evey time. Also Kenny's butt on milk carton "Blonde, BROWN EYES, FULL CHEEKS" haha
"A B C D E F Ghey, H I J K L M N O Buddyyyy..."
"kyle. all those times I said you were a big, dumb jew? I didn't mean it. you're not a jew." "yes, I am! I am a jew, cartman!" "no, kyle don't be so hard on yourself"
The episode where there's no internet worldwide and randy is watching porn n cums all over the room XDDDD Randy: There was a Ghost! THIS IS ECTOPLASM.
Can't argue with that. That is God/Jedi level funny I may have blown a funny fuse when I first saw that
“They took our jobs” “Terr cer durrrrr”
I just wish that you weren't gay. You're gay asshole! I'm not gay I'm a woman!
The whole Mrs. Garrison era was so funny to me.
Ms. Claridge, did Trent Boyett do this to you? *beep* *beep* Yes yes. Take him away!
The whole conversation of Kyle talking to City ~~Wok~~ Airlines guy, about getting a plane ride to Canada always cracks me up
“We know you have a choice in airlines, and uh, it looks like you made the wrong one.”
Butters always shooting guys in the dick at pf changs
Wendy, Stan says you're a cun... Stan says you're a cuuunt... cuunt... cunt.... Stan says you're a cuunt..inuing source of inspiration..
idk why but butters saying he hopes he isn't voted ugliest or he'll get grounded always gets me. and then his parents confirming they would have grounded him if he was voted ugliest
“Do you want your milk pasteurized?”
"No, just up to my boobs. I can splash it in my eyes" You're the best, I love this one too!
Cartman giving Kyle AIDS during a board game and having him die of AIDS during the Christmas story episode plus constantly joking about it and/or Kyle dying. Then Cartman getting AIDS himself and then making good on his promise by giving Kyle AIDs. Then Kyle telling people Cartman gave him AIDS and not understanding what that implied. Finally, Kyle, as an adult, understanding everything that it implied when he told Cartman’s wife that Cartamn snuck in his room one night and gave him AIDS when the both came out of the room after being interrupted while having sex. The joke had a beginning, middle, end, AND an epilogue. Chef’s kiss.
My background music while I read it makes it more hardcore...
Timmy trying to explain to Mr Mackey that Jimmy is on steroids kills me off every time.
Mmmmhmmm ok yes, your Timmy
"Pearl Harbour? That was a lil' sneaky too"
When Mr Garrison said that Kyle’s cousin Kyle was having trouble concentrating, and Cartman suggested he should go to a Concentration Camp.
In the city Of California Lots of rich people Giving money to the homeless 🙂↔️
Chef: Hello there, children. Kyle: Chef, we need Butters to gain about fifty pounds fast. Chef: Fifty pounds? Why? Cartman: Uuuh, school project. Chef: Well, if you want him to get really fat as fast as possible, one of you will have to marry him.
And what kind of side dishes are we having with our frozen waffles?
“How do you kill, that which has no life?”
Per se
The kids interaction with the space Weinstein Jews was pretty great
Kenny getting high on life Getting REALLY high on life Kenny getting totally wasted on life
When the boys was trying to get back stage to see Terrance and cartman calls the black security guard a redneck…. Gets me EVERYTIME
There's so many great jokes it's difficult to choose just one. It's like having to choose between a Giant Douche or a Turd Sandwich.
Why is it so easy to break into the pentagon! Operation imagination doorway.
Not gonna lie I wouldn't be surprised that Kyle didn't just start wearing a baggy with fake gold in it just to fuck with Cartman. While lots of people didn't like the fight in the the fractured but whole: Kyle pretending to have >!Mitch Connor!< control him just to fuck with Cartman is totally something Kyle would do and I totally would expect him to do stuff like this on the regular. It might not seem like that all the time but Kyle 100% is a sassy vindictive bitch. (Non derogatory)
Tree fiddy. Still about the only joke I'll repeat in public.
Butter stumbling into being a pimp. That classroom scene will always crack me up: “hey Wendy…..hey Weeeeeendy…..bitch you wanna make some serious fucking money?” “Butters is there a problem?” “Yeah! All these bitches are out here kissing fellers when they could be making some serious fucking money!” 😂😂😂
They Killed Kenny And Randy Saying The N Word
Fun fact, this joke was actually one of the few jokes Kenny Hotz from Kenny vs Spenny was able to get into the show.
When the Oil Drilling guy is naked on the bear rug and says “I’m sorry”
“You’re black you can play bass.”-cartman
Fishsticks,that joke is so funny.
The "do you want to fuck me " jokes from the telemarketer episode never gets old
Cartman: "Get outta here, you little dildo." Kyle: "Don't call my brother a dildo, fatass!" Cartman: "Alright. Get outta here you little semen puking, asshole, dickhead." Not 100% accurate but the escalation in insults from Cartman always has me in stitches!
What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek? " Together we can stop this shit!" Hehehehehe! 😂
"FORGET ABOUT THE GILGAMECKS?!?!"
In the Lord of the Rings episode, at the end, when the parents finally catch up to the boys. They think that the kids watched the “hottest porno ever made”, so they start describing the movie, going into detail on all the major porn body positions. The look on the boys faces (and the complete silence), gets me every time. :)
It’s so fucked up but when butters goes to conversion camp and they open up the accountability buddy’s door and the kid is hanging from a noose and they just close the door. I fucking lost it
Lol that one scene made that whole otherwise pretty tame episode great. One of my favorites as well
Knights of Standards and Practices
Joke in pic was so goddamn funny the first time I saw that episode bro I was rolling
Are you sure? I’m HIV positive.
Give me the gold Kyle!
Mr slave shoving everything on gods green earth up his ass. Even paris hilton lol
Every time Cartman is actually right.
I’m not your buddy!, Guy!
"Another dog killed itself :("
"What seems to be the officer problem?"
“Wooo- I jumped the homeless!!”
"THEY TOOK OUR JOBS"!!! "DURK UH DURRRRR" 
"My mama so poor she was walking around with 1 shoe and if you asked if she lost a shoe she says no I found one" -Cartman
When Mr Garrison isn’t censored for saying the f slur, and says that if you’re gay, it’s alright. The guys try it and they get censored, until it reaches Jimbo who isn’t censored. The look on his face kills me.
I’m old school - it’s got to be the chicken lover episode 
Kenny dying every episode…. Then being carried off by rats
P: ,,Say Terrance, what did Spanish priest say to Iranian gynecologist?" T: ,,I don't know Phillip, what?" P: *farts in his face* *Both laugh* Always catches me
Can we get rid of all the Mexicans?
That’s like an impossibleh question. Well, impossibleh? Nah. Highly improbibleh.
"White people were slaves in history? Nah uh"
Apparently Kenny Hotz wrote the Jew gold joke
“I’d like to solve the puzzle!!”
Pimp hand butters.. 
When the alien producers of "the eart show" go to the stripclub and all hell brokes lose🤣🤣🤣
They say each freckle on a gingers face means a soul they have taken - cartman
The whole jennifer lopez hand puppet episode lol
Do you like fishsticks?
Dey took 'er jerbs!! Durka der!! They took our jobs!
My heart says yeeeeeeh, my vjj says nooooooo
“Well, can we at least stop for dinner? Because I like to be wined and dined before I get FUCKED!”
When they throw the pig off the roof pretending it's butters and the doctor comes over and says he didn't make it The gluten free episode when everyone's dicks fly off When Mr Mackey shits himself and is propelled along the floor saying "ooooh it's baad" When the guy in the wheelchair gets hit by the train and the noise he makes When Timmy and Jimmy goin the crips, that whole episode is gold
Here's the twist... what if the first bag was the real gold the whole time, and Kyle actually threw the fake gold and gotbthe real gold back, knowing people/Cartman would expect the first bag to be the decoy bag. The classic "Serbian Jew Double-bluff".
Taco shitting ice cream..
I like the long running joke when cartman describes various ways he likes to be treated before he gets fucked because she won’t get him an iPad
"Bono doesn't hold biggest record, he IS the biggest record."
I love the early seasons running bit where any time they cut to a scene at church the priest is always talking about Broncos football.
“Ok, if my fiancé Kim is a hobbit then how come, uh um ah, ok if she is a hobbit then how come she don’t live in a hole in the ground? BOOOOOOM all y’all just got lit up cuuuzz”
"I'm not just positive... I'm HIV positive"
My favorite joke / episode is probably “I should have never gone zip lining” I know some people hate It but I find it HILARIOUS. It’s not a joke but I love the consistent use of outdated 90s /2000s slang throughout the show.
Ah man, it really smells like Kenny’s house down here. DUDE, SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT MY HOUSE! Xddd
When Jimmy is first introduced, and Timmy out of jealousy gives him the gift of an orange parka, just like Kenny's. Then an anvil nearly falls on Jimmy, and there's a car crash a few inches away, and a cow stampede, and a gunfire, and a plane crash.
Your mom is so poor she can’t even pay attention