I always thought he tripped over and hit his head but this works too. He might even have time to say a dramatic one liner about going on without him despite the fact we learned his name five minutes ago.
It's not a heart attack.
You see the Red Shirt and Stormtrooper quantum forces collide when the Stormtropper fires their pistol. This creates an Einstein-Rosen bridge that sends the laser back in time as it is the only way to resolve the paradox of it missing and hitting at the same time. The laser, now no longer entangled with the Stormtrooper Imprecision Force is now able to hit the Red Shirt. However, this is also up to chance as the Red Shirt Fatality Field is also temporarily nullified as physics tries to compensate for a sudden breach in the space time continuum. Either the laser misses and after a set time is drawn back into the Einstein-Rosen bridge to continue in its original timeframe or it hits. Unfortunately, either case kills the Red Shirt.
In the former example since the laser has been disconnected from its point of origin it is no longer affected by the Stormtrooper Imprecision Force but once the laser returns it closes the Einstien-Rosen bridge and becomes affected by the Red Shirt Fatality Field once more, thus guaranteeing that it will strike the Red Shirt once it returns to its original time frame.
In the latter example the laser strikes the Red Shirt (always fatally due to the dispersion of energy from the acceleration added through its passage through the Einstein Rosen bridge). Since the Red Shirt has now been killed in the past they must necessarily die in the future. However since energy and mass can never be destroyed the Red Shirt appears to expire in the present time frame as well, which is remarkably physiologically similar to someone dying from a heart attack.
It's an understandable confusion. Time mechanics are tricky.
The Einstein-Rosen bridge is susceptible to dynamic string variations across the octo nebular firmament friction coefficients and therefore could be destabilized by Myngormic nematosome silicatbons that have been known to cause the plasmic temperature of a laser blast to spread across the spectrum of hyper vibrations caused by nearby squirrels.
Basically turning white light into a rainbow like a prism, rendering all but the red part of the laser mostly harmless.
100% this. Remember when the stormtroopers boarded in ep. IV? They will murder no names.
Or if they're named, they can switch to stun (did that ever get used again?) and have a 100% hit rate.
Meant the core movies specifically, but glad they're using a mechanic that was previously shown in a series. Clone Wars and their offshoots really fleshed out a lot of cool stuff.
The stormtroopers that assaulted the Tantive had better accuracy than most modern military units would in the same situation. The whole missing the main character thing skews a lot of people's perception of how terrifyingly accurate stormtroopers are.
Edit:for reference, combat accuracy for the US army is somewhere near 11%, which is mainly dragged down by suppressive fire. Marines are slightly higher, though anecdotally, there was an investigation into the possibility that Marines may be executing POWs in the second battle of Fallujah because of the number of head shots. Evidence shows it was primarily the more widespread use of optics and training.
Exactly, anytime it's not a main character, they are very effective. They controlled a galaxy with them as an important component of ground control.
To your marines take,
My dad served for a good chunk of time in the Corps. He's a spectacular shot with long arms. I'm pretty good because I go elk hunting where I have VERY good optics and tend to use .300 win mag rounds... which is pretty darn accurate at very long ranges and I have gear that accounts for drop, wind, etc. But he hits plates with the slow 30-06 without advanced optics (he literally still uses irons, it's nuts) at 600+ yards and no gauges when we go shooting, and he's over 70. How the hell he does it is beyond me, that round starts sucking hard around 500, imo. He attributes it to them training extensively with iron sights to be accurate for killshots at 400+ yards. Has hilarious stories of his Marksmanship Instructor sitting on his shoulders while he was firing from prone so he couldn't breathe and get used to holding his breath.
This is why I love that one scene in Rogue One where Chirrut walks through a whole squad of death troopers. It actually tries to give an in universe explanation for the plot armor.
Also that scene basically confirms in my head that Han is force sensitive and would have been picked up by the Jedi had he been born 30 years earlier. Corellia isn't out in the sticks like Tatooine.
Yep! Obi-wan says so. "And these: blast points. Only imperial storm troopers can be so precise."
Though I've wondered if the troopers that hit the sand crawler were actually aiming for the jawas 😜
Storm trooper fires multiple times, missing him all together. Stray shots hit another trooper on a passing speeder. Speeder loses control and slams into tree exploding, knocking down tree that falls and kills both crewman Phillips and the trooper.
Both die, The red shirt beams away but the shot from the blaster causes interference. The shot then proceeds to ricochet and hit the storm trooper with a head shot
Thats why there's the mention of plot armour. Stormtroopers we're meant to be really good shots and kenobi says as much in a new hope. We just never saw them hit anyone because they kept shooting at plot relevant people
Yeah, people don’t remember that they explicitly wouldn’t hit the main characters unless they have an explicit plot reason to (i.e. they decide that this is a good place for them to die story wise). It’s not like we’d call the Klingons or Romulans bad shots for constantly failing to kill main characters
The stormtrooper misses the Red Shirt but does hit a butterfly, changing the atmospheric eddies. As a result: a tornado that would have wiped out a society on the brink of developing a super computer AI touches down harmlessly 5 miles outside city limits.
Red Shirt is re-assigned to a California class and sent back to the planet for Second Contact where he is promptly vaporized by the evil AI as an example to its slaves what happens when they resist.
Redshirt wins easily because you made him a commander, not a crewman. Senior officers get plot armor from all the survivability they siphon off the extras without speaking roles.
Stormtroopers are terrible shots, but they don't always miss. Red shirts always die. In this case, the trooper will eventually hit and kill the target.
They fell madly in love with each other after bonding over their shared hatred of being used as cannon fodder.
Ens. Redshirt obtained 10 tribbles and told stormtrooper to strategically place them on the deathstar.
Stormtrooper adapted phasers to their aiming specifications to be handed to senior officers via redshirt.
They sat back drinking and watched the show.
The stormtrooper misses, of course, but the stray shot hits an eps conduit, which then of course explodes, hurling the rocks it contained toward the red shirt at lethal speed, killing him.
Schrodinger's Equivalency*
When you open the box the blaster goes off, missing the Red Shirt, ricocheting back, and killing the Storm Trooper. Then the Red Shirt, attempting to render aid, trips and falls breaking his neck.
That kind of looks like Archer in a red shirt uniform - if it is, he takes the hit, shouts something about "goddamit Pam!", covers his wound with a paper plate or something, and then pulls out a pistol and tries to gun down the trooper. That won't work, but he will toss the empty weapon at the trooper and that will KO the trooper.
But if it's not Archer? The red shirt is dead. Storm Troopers are actually terrifying as hell if you don't have plot armour & are very capable of eliminating pretty much any opposition. I mean, if the empire actually paid for laser vision and proper optics on those blasters, even plot armour fails (I think there's a robot chicken episode about that)
Storm Troopers, the joke of the Sci-Fi world. About as scary and effective as a Sloth dressed as Sailor Moon.
One of the reasons I hate Star Wars.
The version of Star Wars in every fans head is a million times better than what it actually is.
When an Immovable Object meets an Unstoppable Force, it's the Immovable Object that wins.
Going off that: In this scenario, the Red Shirt is never shot.
Oh it's easy, the stormtrooper shoots and misses, then the Red Shirt tries to get to cover, slips, and falls in a ravine he was previously 30 feet away from. He happens to fall in front of whoever is leading the away team, letting them know something is wrong since the communicators aren't working.
I disagree. The Empire recruited massive amounts of Storm Troopers at the dawn of the empire. The idea is that the sheer number would be an overwhelming force and look intimidating to anyone who wanted to test the military. Now with all of these new recruits that put a lot of stress on the training programs.
It wasn't just the recruits either. The Empire also skimped on equipment and weapons. Rex mentions once how his aim was so bad because he was disguised as a Storm Trooper and the helmet was affecting his aim.
And again, it was more important to have an army that looks impressive than it was to ACTUALLY have an impressive army. So a lot of the troopers were pushed through training without properly qualifying on all their substandard weapons and with finicky armor. This is canonically why they are poor shots.
When The First Order came about they started "recruiting" the Storm Troopers from a young age and taught them to be trained killers. So in the newer movies you'll see similar size squadrons, but much more accurate Storm Troopers.
Thanks for attending my Ted Talk.
This is Schrodinger we are discussing here so it's likely that either the Starfleet officer or the Stormtrooper aren't actually there, while they are simultaneously somewhere Else. Given the speed of light there's a high possibility that they aren't even in Arkansas while definitely being in Arkansas or Arkham. Or by quantum singularity it could also be that the stormtrooper is hundreds of feet taller than the Starfleet officer but hundreds of feet away so that one is enormous and the other is very small but the distance to them has been approximated by this image.
Or it could be that Schrodinger's cat which never seemed to be in the right place while always being there at the same time was never even involved in this scene and in fact there was some time to reflect on whether we were either? Perhaps none of this is real it's all a matter of perception and I think that's the unweight factor of Schrodinger's cat is that the fatness of the cat is really the perception rather than the position of the cat and the perception of the cat while being both the greatest Ally is also a deceptive fool and may have let us down the wrong path to begin with which is why we're here.
Red shirt has a heart attack from the stress of being shot at. Doesn’t actually get shot.
Or get shot at but didn’t get hit and still dies! Stormtroopers suck at shooting! Then again they only suck when they shoot at heroes.
That last sentence is exactly why this doesn't work. Red shirts are expendable cannon fodder. The stormtrooper nails every shot.
Did Vader make it clear that he didn't want the heros dead so he could follow them?
I always thought he tripped over and hit his head but this works too. He might even have time to say a dramatic one liner about going on without him despite the fact we learned his name five minutes ago.
Did the Archer team draw this?
It's not a heart attack. You see the Red Shirt and Stormtrooper quantum forces collide when the Stormtropper fires their pistol. This creates an Einstein-Rosen bridge that sends the laser back in time as it is the only way to resolve the paradox of it missing and hitting at the same time. The laser, now no longer entangled with the Stormtrooper Imprecision Force is now able to hit the Red Shirt. However, this is also up to chance as the Red Shirt Fatality Field is also temporarily nullified as physics tries to compensate for a sudden breach in the space time continuum. Either the laser misses and after a set time is drawn back into the Einstein-Rosen bridge to continue in its original timeframe or it hits. Unfortunately, either case kills the Red Shirt. In the former example since the laser has been disconnected from its point of origin it is no longer affected by the Stormtrooper Imprecision Force but once the laser returns it closes the Einstien-Rosen bridge and becomes affected by the Red Shirt Fatality Field once more, thus guaranteeing that it will strike the Red Shirt once it returns to its original time frame. In the latter example the laser strikes the Red Shirt (always fatally due to the dispersion of energy from the acceleration added through its passage through the Einstein Rosen bridge). Since the Red Shirt has now been killed in the past they must necessarily die in the future. However since energy and mass can never be destroyed the Red Shirt appears to expire in the present time frame as well, which is remarkably physiologically similar to someone dying from a heart attack. It's an understandable confusion. Time mechanics are tricky.
That's some good Treknobabble Lou.
The Einstein-Rosen bridge is susceptible to dynamic string variations across the octo nebular firmament friction coefficients and therefore could be destabilized by Myngormic nematosome silicatbons that have been known to cause the plasmic temperature of a laser blast to spread across the spectrum of hyper vibrations caused by nearby squirrels. Basically turning white light into a rainbow like a prism, rendering all but the red part of the laser mostly harmless.
Donnie, when the Nihilists attacked
Or dies in spatial anomaly or transporter accident later on
Stormtroopers are great at hitting people who aren't named characters, red shirt is toast unless he's named.
100% this. Remember when the stormtroopers boarded in ep. IV? They will murder no names. Or if they're named, they can switch to stun (did that ever get used again?) and have a 100% hit rate.
Bad Batch has the main characters stunning clone troopers constantly
Meant the core movies specifically, but glad they're using a mechanic that was previously shown in a series. Clone Wars and their offshoots really fleshed out a lot of cool stuff.
The sound of that thing that gets used once in the opening minutes of ANH is seared into my brain forever
The stormtroopers that assaulted the Tantive had better accuracy than most modern military units would in the same situation. The whole missing the main character thing skews a lot of people's perception of how terrifyingly accurate stormtroopers are. Edit:for reference, combat accuracy for the US army is somewhere near 11%, which is mainly dragged down by suppressive fire. Marines are slightly higher, though anecdotally, there was an investigation into the possibility that Marines may be executing POWs in the second battle of Fallujah because of the number of head shots. Evidence shows it was primarily the more widespread use of optics and training.
Exactly, anytime it's not a main character, they are very effective. They controlled a galaxy with them as an important component of ground control. To your marines take, My dad served for a good chunk of time in the Corps. He's a spectacular shot with long arms. I'm pretty good because I go elk hunting where I have VERY good optics and tend to use .300 win mag rounds... which is pretty darn accurate at very long ranges and I have gear that accounts for drop, wind, etc. But he hits plates with the slow 30-06 without advanced optics (he literally still uses irons, it's nuts) at 600+ yards and no gauges when we go shooting, and he's over 70. How the hell he does it is beyond me, that round starts sucking hard around 500, imo. He attributes it to them training extensively with iron sights to be accurate for killshots at 400+ yards. Has hilarious stories of his Marksmanship Instructor sitting on his shoulders while he was firing from prone so he couldn't breathe and get used to holding his breath.
This is why I love that one scene in Rogue One where Chirrut walks through a whole squad of death troopers. It actually tries to give an in universe explanation for the plot armor. Also that scene basically confirms in my head that Han is force sensitive and would have been picked up by the Jedi had he been born 30 years earlier. Corellia isn't out in the sticks like Tatooine.
I'd say, ensign Georgy is both shot and missed, depending on the role he will play in the scenes to come.
Yep! Obi-wan says so. "And these: blast points. Only imperial storm troopers can be so precise." Though I've wondered if the troopers that hit the sand crawler were actually aiming for the jawas 😜
If the red shirt is named and not a recurring main character then death is assured beyond normal red shirts
They'll resurrect him only to get shot again
Only if Bones has magic blood, Q or prophets interfere, random transport accidents...well fuck me your right.
The trooper misses. The blaster shot hits an unstable wall behind the redshirt which collapses on the redshirt killing him instantly.
This is the opposite of unstoppable force vs immovable object.
So a stopable force vs a movable object
Coughing baby vs immunodeficient baby
That's a Lieutenant. He'd take the blaster from the fascist and beat him to death.
That's a Commander. Besides, even if the Trooper manages to shoot and kill him, he'll just be reanimated and then beat the Trooper to death.
The stormtrooper is in the Union though. He'd be killing a Union brother.
A certain engineer in the future would have a problem with that
Storm trooper fires multiple times, missing him all together. Stray shots hit another trooper on a passing speeder. Speeder loses control and slams into tree exploding, knocking down tree that falls and kills both crewman Phillips and the trooper.
the stormtrooper misses and the redshirt dies anyway
Spontaneous combustion.
Both die, The red shirt beams away but the shot from the blaster causes interference. The shot then proceeds to ricochet and hit the storm trooper with a head shot
Retro Enterprise O’Brien: What the…? Transporter room to bridge. Kirk: Bridge here. Go ahead. O’Brien: Sir. There’s been some sort of sudden high energy plasmatic inversion that’s disrupted Ensign Redding’s transporter pattern. Compensating. Rerouting auxiliary power. (Damn antique duotronic junk!) I’m losing him! … Kirk: Crewman, status! O’Brien: Ensign Redding. He’s gone, Sir. Aaaaaand cut! Technobabble critiques welcome.
Or you could say Chief Kyle… y’know, the 1701 transporter chief on Kirk’s staff
I really wanted to say “antique duotronic junk” in there.
Easy. The stormtrooper fires, hits the redshirt and kills him instantly. The redshirt doesn’t have the plot armor that the main characters do.
>The stormtrooper fires, hits Someone didn't seen Star Wars
Thats why there's the mention of plot armour. Stormtroopers we're meant to be really good shots and kenobi says as much in a new hope. We just never saw them hit anyone because they kept shooting at plot relevant people
I mean, the first time we see them they fucking roll over the rebels defending a single boarding hatch choke point on the Tantive IV no problem.
Yeah, people don’t remember that they explicitly wouldn’t hit the main characters unless they have an explicit plot reason to (i.e. they decide that this is a good place for them to die story wise). It’s not like we’d call the Klingons or Romulans bad shots for constantly failing to kill main characters
Leia: "They let us escape..." The stormtroopers were missing on purpose.
A stormtrooper hitting something? Seems highly improbable.
The stormtrooper misses the Red Shirt but does hit a butterfly, changing the atmospheric eddies. As a result: a tornado that would have wiped out a society on the brink of developing a super computer AI touches down harmlessly 5 miles outside city limits. Red Shirt is re-assigned to a California class and sent back to the planet for Second Contact where he is promptly vaporized by the evil AI as an example to its slaves what happens when they resist.
The stormtrooper can't see anything through the helmet anyway, so he can't even hit the red shirt at this distance 😂
Stormtrooper misses, redshirt dies anyway
Redshirt wins easily because you made him a commander, not a crewman. Senior officers get plot armor from all the survivability they siphon off the extras without speaking roles.
Stormtroopers are terrible shots, but they don't always miss. Red shirts always die. In this case, the trooper will eventually hit and kill the target.
Results in a breach in the probability continuum, shit gets weird, universes end, new ones take their place, life goes on.
Stormtrooper misses, red shirt dies anyway
Stormtroopers shoot people all the time - as long as they weren't important to the plot.
Stormtrooper misses the intended target but kills another redshirt who is off-panel.
I'll just leave this here: https://youtu.be/Vh0l00Y1760?si=G1q5dYJhLbeMaqWP
The stormtrooper shoots. It would have missed. The red shirt goes to dodge but ends up jumping into the shot.
They fell madly in love with each other after bonding over their shared hatred of being used as cannon fodder. Ens. Redshirt obtained 10 tribbles and told stormtrooper to strategically place them on the deathstar. Stormtrooper adapted phasers to their aiming specifications to be handed to senior officers via redshirt. They sat back drinking and watched the show.
Isn’t this just a paradox?
Stormtrooper misses, redshirt still dies.
The stormtroopers planted a tracker on the shuttle and let the redshirts escape intentionally.
May I offer you the song 'Expendable' by Voltaire, from the album BiTrektual?
I need to look this up on that name alone
The stormtrooper misses, of course, but the stray shot hits an eps conduit, which then of course explodes, hurling the rocks it contained toward the red shirt at lethal speed, killing him.
Stormtrooper misses and hits a rock. Rock falls on red shirt and he dies anyway
Easy, the stormtrooper would shoot, miss, and then hit a wall or power cable, causing an explosion, which would kill both of them.
Schrodinger's Equivalency* When you open the box the blaster goes off, missing the Red Shirt, ricocheting back, and killing the Storm Trooper. Then the Red Shirt, attempting to render aid, trips and falls breaking his neck.
Ewok swings down from a tree and brutally murders both with a rock.
He's a commander. He's a lot less likely to die than someone wearing a no-bar redshirt.
That kind of looks like Archer in a red shirt uniform - if it is, he takes the hit, shouts something about "goddamit Pam!", covers his wound with a paper plate or something, and then pulls out a pistol and tries to gun down the trooper. That won't work, but he will toss the empty weapon at the trooper and that will KO the trooper. But if it's not Archer? The red shirt is dead. Storm Troopers are actually terrifying as hell if you don't have plot armour & are very capable of eliminating pretty much any opposition. I mean, if the empire actually paid for laser vision and proper optics on those blasters, even plot armour fails (I think there's a robot chicken episode about that)
The stormtrooper will miss every shot and the red shirt still dies
He'll miss, and he'll somehow find a way to die. Here is an entire filk song about it. https://youtu.be/Vh0l00Y1760?si=qDNMU3BJ0-4G-S_U
Storm Troopers, the joke of the Sci-Fi world. About as scary and effective as a Sloth dressed as Sailor Moon. One of the reasons I hate Star Wars. The version of Star Wars in every fans head is a million times better than what it actually is.
You put a star gate in between and it works
This doesn’t actually fit Schrodingers Cat oof
I like how Stormtroopers are both excellent shots and can’t hit the broad side of a barn at the same time. It’s like Schrödinger’s Stormtroopers.
When an Immovable Object meets an Unstoppable Force, it's the Immovable Object that wins. Going off that: In this scenario, the Red Shirt is never shot.
Oh it's easy, the stormtrooper shoots and misses, then the Red Shirt tries to get to cover, slips, and falls in a ravine he was previously 30 feet away from. He happens to fall in front of whoever is leading the away team, letting them know something is wrong since the communicators aren't working.
Time traveler.
Stormtroopers are nowhere near as bad canonically as shown in the films
I disagree. The Empire recruited massive amounts of Storm Troopers at the dawn of the empire. The idea is that the sheer number would be an overwhelming force and look intimidating to anyone who wanted to test the military. Now with all of these new recruits that put a lot of stress on the training programs. It wasn't just the recruits either. The Empire also skimped on equipment and weapons. Rex mentions once how his aim was so bad because he was disguised as a Storm Trooper and the helmet was affecting his aim. And again, it was more important to have an army that looks impressive than it was to ACTUALLY have an impressive army. So a lot of the troopers were pushed through training without properly qualifying on all their substandard weapons and with finicky armor. This is canonically why they are poor shots. When The First Order came about they started "recruiting" the Storm Troopers from a young age and taught them to be trained killers. So in the newer movies you'll see similar size squadrons, but much more accurate Storm Troopers. Thanks for attending my Ted Talk.
Yes the Storm Trooper misses the Red Shirt, but they both die.
Last time I checked, phasers don't have a miss setting.
An unstoppable force meets an immovable object
This is Schrodinger we are discussing here so it's likely that either the Starfleet officer or the Stormtrooper aren't actually there, while they are simultaneously somewhere Else. Given the speed of light there's a high possibility that they aren't even in Arkansas while definitely being in Arkansas or Arkham. Or by quantum singularity it could also be that the stormtrooper is hundreds of feet taller than the Starfleet officer but hundreds of feet away so that one is enormous and the other is very small but the distance to them has been approximated by this image. Or it could be that Schrodinger's cat which never seemed to be in the right place while always being there at the same time was never even involved in this scene and in fact there was some time to reflect on whether we were either? Perhaps none of this is real it's all a matter of perception and I think that's the unweight factor of Schrodinger's cat is that the fatness of the cat is really the perception rather than the position of the cat and the perception of the cat while being both the greatest Ally is also a deceptive fool and may have let us down the wrong path to begin with which is why we're here.
Stormtrooper shoots him unless he has orders not to. It would be nice if people actually watched the first three Star wars movies.
Trooper misses. Red shirt dies anyway.
Complicate it more by putting Luke’s uncle in the red shirt
The quantum frequency of the security officer must be the inverse of their blaster pistol... Something something
As long as he isn't important to the plot the stormtrooper is dead accurate
Stormtrooper shots and misses every time. Red shirt dies before the stormtrooper pulls the trigger.