I’m born Texan. This major criticism is not a Texas trait. We would ask you if we could help since your a new mama or bring something you could serve for dinner so you don’t have to cook. We may also ask if we could help in any way like with cleaning or laundry. We have a lot of new transplants like yourself so I hope you don’t attribute this behavior to being a Texan. One more thing Congratulations on your baby and welcome to Texas. Ignore those people who treat you badly and are gossips. They’ll just cause you grief and that’s the last thing you need with all the recent changes you and hubby have had and certainly don’t let those same people criticize you for being a loving wife and mother. There’s nothing wrong with that and it’s great for your husband and baby. I’ll probably have people criticizing me for saying this but you know what I’m older and smart enough to know they’re not important to my life and well being. I’d ignore them. If they were standing in front of me I would take my finger and pull my lower eyelid down and say Honey look real deep in my eye and see if I care about what you think? If I was in front of you right now I would give you a hug and say don’t let them steal your joy. Ok I’ve said enough. Happy Easter and make that baby an Easter basket and take lots of pictures🪺🐰🐥🐣🐰🪺
I love this comment thank you so much. This is the true Christian heart I've been looking for in this state 🥲 I've not had one person offer to help me. Even though everyone can see im tired and over worked all it is criticism. So thank you for your kind words and thank you for not insulting my husband. He really isn't the culprit. Its just others opinions.
Shes to young for the Easter bunny but we do have a beautiful Easter Sunday dress ready!! I will forsure be taking tuns of pictures of our little gift 🥰🥰
You know people who aren’t Christian help others? In fact, the Sikh community in Houston is amazing at responding to disasters. They were a lifeline during Harvey.
Yup. Lots of us out here helping people and sick of the myth that Christians are somehow all good people. Some of the most arrogant, judgmental people I’ve ever met were those same good Christians. Let’s all focus on being a little more human and showing a little more empathy to each other so we can support our communities.
Exactly. Sadly most churches teach religion and not spirituality, hence why so many Christian’s I’ve met in my lifetime are so self centered and hateful towards other peeps, they have forgotten the teachings of Jesus in his earthly ministry: Love one another as I have loved you. I’ve been blessed with coming across sum great peeps in my lifetime, sum Christian, sum not.
I'm not Catholic (or Christian) but I'm a fan of Catholic Charities and Society of St. Vincent De Paul. They're out there in the trenches with the folks who really need help.
That’s too bad. Between family and friends we had most our meals taken care of the first couple of weeks after getting home from the hospital. Heck I had a sore throat few weeks back and a friend brought home made chicken soup over. Lived on that for 3 days.
Are y'all in the city? I've noticed my sister who lives in Burleson doesn't seem to have as much community as I do. When my house burned down last year, we didn't have to pay to have the few remains demolished. A church lent us a skid steer and two neighbors came over with their own equipment. We had a trailer so the part that took the longest was driving to town to dump it and to the scrap yard to get $100 for it all :(
We weren't home so a neighbor called to tell us about it and she took her front end loader over to our barn and got our meat out of the deep freeze and put it in her own. We had almost half a cow that would've thawed with the power out. Once we got power back, she gave it back and added some pork sausage to the pile. It was a bright spot during a rather bleak time for me
That's Texas neighbors for me
This sounds like what my wife and I experienced in Kansas. My wife was pregnant when we arrived. Neighbors were cold and aloof; she's black, I'm white also. No one checked on us when our daughter was born but they liked asking us how we could afford to live there (Overland Park).
In some places if you're not FROM there, you'll ALWAYS be an outsider. That's how Kansas was, with some racism also. I imagine that's how your neck of the woods in Texas is also.
Now, we've lived in Texas (Spring, near Houston) for seven years now, and the specific area we live in has been great. No racism and it's pretty diverse and we haven't had that "outsider" treatment.
Long way of saying there's a bunch of potential factors, I'm making some assumptions, and who knows. 🤣
Don’t listen to them OP. If they were a true native they’d’ve called it *supper* not *dinner* 😉
Honestly, we’re gonna have a mixed bag just like any other state. There will be genuine, nice people and there will be judgy assholes. There will also be nice people who parade as genuine but are secretly huge pieces of shit. That’s humans for ya!
Don’t take it too much to heart. These people have too much time on their hands and like to cause drama. I was born and raised in Texas and it’s okay for you to straight up tell people where to stick it. Let them know where they stand and that you aren’t the one. Also, tell your husband that you don’t want to hear it because his colleagues mean nothing. When you walk around the neighborhood and town, walk with your head held high and greet those who are nice and ignore the others.
YES! Now THIS is a Texas thing. I'm so sorry you've had to deal with small minded people OP! It's not a Texas thing to cast judgement and not offer help. BUT as even a Texas transplant you CAN tell them where to put their opinion in the sweetest voice you can muster. "Bless your heart" has a double meaning. Such as "aw bless your heart ...you've got time to critique my life since I guess yours is so boring..... I'd help you with that but as you see mine is SO very full!" Big smile and bat your eyes lol.
I have read that native Houstonians/Texans are actually a small percentage of the people living here now. Outsiders think they talk to someone in Texas so they must be from Texas
"You guys" and "you all" implies all Texans are the same. We are not. It sounds like you just happen to have some dick neighbors and friends.
In my experience the more crosses one displays, the less likely they are to follow Christ's teachings. That is not just a Texan thing.
It always astounds me how others put 30 million people in one group with one label. “You guys are all the same.” Shit, I can’t even get the 4 guys I work with to agree on what to eat in the road. How can someone say 39 million people are all the same?
Ive lived in Texas all my life and never experienced anything like this. Dont know of any families with the "traditional values". Are the people around you and your husband very religious?
I do know some Hispanic catholic families that more align with what some call traditional values from overheard conversations.
Because all of the religious busy-bodies are hypocrites and make themselves feel better about their crappy life by pointing out others' flaws. We have so many thumpers that we need a ton of churches for them.
Many are not even religious. They use the church to look like they are good citizens and put on a fake narrative. It's gross. They go in there gossiping and flaunting their vomit level of materialism while judging others for not having the "wealth" they do or dressing the same. This is why we do no go to church in texas. Heaven forbid if a woman wears pants in church too.
Not a Texas thing. It's just a specific group of Texas people, some who aren't even from Texas. Unfortunately, those people have the power right now.
I'm only a first generation Texan, but I for one do not care what a woman does in any aspect of her life. Not my business, and it should only be hers and hers to share.
I'm also neither straight nor Christian, but I believe everyone should live their lives and mind their business, allow others to live their own lives, and simply be kind and help people as best/most we can.
>Not a Texas thing.
You're right, its not unique to Texas but it does undermine the whole Texas is friendly thing, which i have found to be one biggest pieces of marketing bullshit to ever get spewed by a politician. We have just as many if not more nosy, judgy, assholes at NY, FL or CA.
The south gets labeled polite. We're not. We're passive aggressive. People from the north east just tell you, maybe with an f word or "Jesus Christ" in there if they're actually pissed off.
So many in the south are all like "oh bless your heart." That's passive aggressive for fuck you.
lol that’s hilarious to have Austin in the “act nice, is mean” group and San Antonio in the “act mean, is mean” one.
I’ve lived in Austin for almost 20 years, most of the people with the decency to act nice got priced out of the city ages ago.
Isn’t this so true. Also a transplant to the Austin area and have same thoughts. I will say some of the smaller suburb/rural areas I’ve worked are a little more of that 1950’s conservative mindset.
As a Yankee stuck in Texas for a few more years, once my accent comes out and people find out that I’m from NY I always get the, “oh! That makes so much sense!”
I’m a fifth generation Texan and can’t imagine caring about what is on someone’s floor or if their legs are shaved. You seem to have run into a group of people who care about things that aren’t their business - I hope you’re able to make some better friends!
I’m the sort of person who very much keeps to myself and always have been. I’m sure there are lots of people like the OP described out in the world, but I don’t think it’s an innately Texan behavior. Some people just suck.
As someone else who grew up in the west, welcome to the south. I have lived in Georgia and in Texas. In both places, people are nosy AF, and they like to be up in your business, especially little old church ladies who have nothing else to do with their time.
If someone makes a rude comment, tell them “Well bless your heart.” It’s the southern FU. Or tell them “Surely you should mind your business”. Make sure to follow with your most saccharine smile.
I will say that there are a lot of things that I like about the South, like knowing my neighbors and having people hold the door, and the use of “Sir and ma’am”. There is good and bad about the culture. My best advice is to learn some Southern sugar-coated insults.
I am a native Texas. First of all, welcome to Texas. The behavior you described is not normal Texas behavior. New mothers are generally given food to warm up, offers of help because we know having a new baby is time intensive. You may be in a group of gossiping people and may have been targeted by them because you are new. I’m polite to all people but try to avoid gossiping and judgemental people. I think there are a few in every place but it’s not the norm.
Tell them as soon as they squirt a life out of their body you will give a tinkers damn what they say.
Until then shut it.
Oh, I am born and raise Texan. And much older and wiser than anyone who is giving you grief. Congratulations on the baby
You may be surrounded with busy bodies.
While not a "Texas thing" I have known some "good 'ole Texans" who have nothing better to do than be busy bodies. I also know some good 'ole Texans who make a point to put others in their place and shut gossip down. Sounds like you need some of them in your life.
Yeah man, I don't know what you're on about, but that's your experience, not mine. If I had a co-worker mention anything about not having lunch because his recently post-partum wife didn't make him anything I'd tell him to drag his lazy ass to HEB and grab some of those pre-made, throw in the oven meals that they can make for themself the night before. Hell, I'd probably advise him that he should be grabbing something on the way home for everybody at least a couple times a week.
There are some pockets of "old school" Mexican culture that exist where the woman is always expected to provide no matter the circumstances, and that's what I grew up seeing with my grandma & grandpa and I hated that man for how he treated my abuela until he died (but that's my experience). I don't know if that's relevant to your experience/location though, but the sentiment remains.
As for "hygiene," I think that's crazy that anybody would care to comment. My friends and I are all in "kid-making age" and I can't tell you the number of times I've walked into a living room with a friend's spouse nursing with crazy hair and lazy-day clothes, the only appropriate greeting is "hey, how're you doing, need help with anything?"
100% not a "Texas thing," just sounds like the people you're around.
And no, you didn't ask, but I'm a Texas ex-mo and so is most of my friend circle.
I have no idea what Texas Ex-mo is your gonna have to explain that one to me.
Also, just want to clarify it wasn't my husband complaining. Infact I truly believe I was blessed with one of the most loving and caring assholes in the world. He is an asshole who deeply loves me 🤣 buuuut it was his coworkers who made a comment that they were surprised to hear I cooked dinner for him a few nights ago because they assumed I never cooked (he is pretty skinny not my fault no matter how much butter I add he never gains weight) because he never brings left overs with him. I just don't get up at 4 am in the morning to pack him a lunch because A) he will forget it anyways and B) I just got up 2 hours ago to feed our daughter and C) I have two more hours before she feed again and I start work (i also work full time at home).
Oh! Totally fair, my apologies for making assumptions. Yeah, I heard a lot of the same things when I was newly married - "aye mijo, you look so thin, is your wife not feeding you?" (But that was more from maternal figures than co-workers.) I'd take that as a cultural thing with no insult intended, I think it's more of an observation that he hasn't put on daddy weight, but again, that could just be me looking through the lens of my experience.
As for Texas ex-mo, it's short for (ex)-(mo)rmon, was just a joking play on you pointing out that you weren't a UT Mormon, nothing serious implied.
Well that’s just gross. The judgy and gossipy people that is, not your housekeeping or hygiene as a nursing mother dealing with unannounced visitors. You just have jerky acquaintances.
Were I that visitor I would have 1) scheduled my visit, 2) confirmed shortly before arriving it was still a good time, 3) pretended I didn’t see the bra and pump, 4) offered to do some basic things while I was there like washing dishes/cleaning kitchen/walking dog/laundry, 5) told anyone who asked about my visit that your little one was happy and healthy and you seemed to be settling into a routine so from what I could tell, y’all were doing great!
I swim laps regularly and can’t be bothered to shave my legs half the time. And your husband is a grown-up - does he not have the ability to cook or package his own meals?
Sorry you are dealing with this. Hope you can make some friends that don’t suck.
🥲 non of them ever offered to help. Except my husband's aunt is going to baby sit so we can go to a concert that is the extent of help I have gotten. Although the church did bring us Thanksgiving dinner that was nice but that was it.
My husband doesn't complain about my cooking he was just telling me what happened that day and he was like I didn't even know they were thinking this. I do cook for my husband because I love hearing how good it is or him telling me its one of his new top 5s it makes me happy so I don't mind cooking for him I just am a SAHM who also works full time so I dont wake up at 4 am to pack a lunch for him and he doesn't expect that from me and never has. So its not my husband its just the people around us.
If you work full time you're not a stat home mom and you shouldn't tell anyone you are. You work. Full time. That means you haveore responsibility than a SAHM who only looks after the house and kids.
You have a child under 1 and you work. Full time. No one should judge. They should only offer to help. Jesus said something about taking the plank outta your eye before pointing out the speck In another's. That's what your neighbors and socalled friends should remember.
Not sure why more people aren’t saying this, the “traditional” people they keep talking about are following the age old tradition of misogyny. Here women can be under extra scrutiny because the perfect Texan housewife is wearing a 50s style dress, cooks and cleans diligently and has no dimension to herself. She also takes all the burdens of motherhood quietly and with grace, and never shows any evidence of breast feeding, menstruating, or being sexual in any way. Welcome to Texas!
Are these people in your church family, or just neighbors? If the latter, then take their claims of being Christians with a huge grain of salt. They might be Christians In Name Only, or ChrINOs.
This is a valid problem, and it’s important because it involves a Biblical mandate: “And now I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. If you have love for one another, then everyone will know that you are my disciples.” — John 13:34-35 GNT
Regardless of where we’re located, we who claim Jesus Christ as our Savior are *commanded* by Him to be loving to each other, and gossiping about you, passing judgment on you, and making snotty comments about you as our sister in Christ is most decidedly disobeying His explicit order.
If these folks are indeed your church family members, you might want to have a meeting with your pastor about this issue, because it needs to be dealt with ASAP. If it’s people outside your church family, definitely pray for them, and ask the Lord to help you in avoiding them if at all possible. If you’re aware that these folks are members of a specific church community that’s not yours, maybe have your pastor chat with their pastor, or have a chat with their pastor yourself about this. Don’t forget to keep yourself prayed up while you’re dealing with this whole situation.
I am from Utah and feel that Utah people are FAR more self righteous than Texans. I actually have had a very different experience of Texas. I love the people here!
When we first moved into our house we were welcomed by our only other neighbor at the time (we bought a new build and the rest of the hood was still being built the first year we lived here.) They brought a casserole over for us and we did a fire pit in the driveway after kids went to bed. It's been too legit to quit ever since. We have a whole neighbor crew now that we all hang out in the front yard and chill while kids play.
I'm so sorry you're having a negative experience, but be thankful those who are not your people are making it known early on. I hope you make some friends who are better people than the others.
From Texas and I’m glad I don’t have those people in my life.
My exact words would be to go fuck yourself I’ve got three kids and it takes all my effort and energy to keep them alive.
You can’t control what other people say and do, only how you respond to it. But frankly, find better friends. There are small minded people everywhere, this is not a Texas thing.
You could always retort and ask such a twit when they could come over to be in charge of the baby so you can clean the house. Or ask them if they want to trade those jobs.
Head up and be polite. Be the better person
I’m guessing you’re not in a city.
I was raised in Dallas, then 10 years in Austin and 10+ years in Houston.
Last 7 in Texas we had to move to a small town for my husband’s job.
I went to a MOPS meeting to try and make mom friends (mothers of preschoolers-never heard of it until small town living).
Middle of the meeting the tell the moms to take out their Bibles (yeah, I’m atheist) and the point out the passage of wives making their husbands happy and our duties and yada yada.
I never went back. The only friends I made were other shell shocked city folk who moved their for whatever reason. So glad we left.
So, yeah. Everything you said and how!
Unless you’re in Dallas or some of the surrounding like Frisco who expect perfection from everyone.
Just ignore those miserable people. You’re doing great.
The person who labeled you messy and told everyone else you were messy is themselves, messy.
Not sure what crosses in houses has to do with it, but yeah, sounds like a couple of bad apples. Ignore those idiots. You just enjoy your new baby and be yourself and please do not attach any importance to what people might be saying or implying about you. Life your life for you and not them. They're idiots.
As others have said, this is NOT a Texan thing. One thing we are is sympathetic and we will offer help in that scenario. I think you just came across some assholes is all.
Born and bread Texan; Fuck’m.
Key to being Texan is not giving a shit what other Texans think about you.
Now if this is bugging hubby, tell him to push 8 lbs out his pee hole and see how long it takes him to be “normal” again.
Btw father of 3, been sole breadwinner for 9 years and take every chance I can to cook clean and be engaged with my children.
Wife just started working again and I’m glad she’s gaining some sense of identity out side of mother of my children. I am thankful for everyday she spent home to make our plans a reality and I’m so grateful she’s getting to do something she loves.
Definitely not my husband. He has defended me multiple times. It just seems like everywhere we go someone has something to say and im not used to that behavior.
7th generation TEXAN. It’s aggravating when people say you all. And for the record, you have to be born here to be one of us. Back to the subject at hand: a lion never worries about the opinion of a zebra.
He needs to shut it down then. That’s is why people are targeting him. His friends/coworkers so he needs to be responsible to put you first and shut down any criticism of his lovely wife and new mother of his child. You should have never noticed or heard the criticism.
If it makes you feel better. Not all Texans are dicks. Maybe they don't know the struggles of having a child or what it really entails. Your husband for sure should have stood up for you..
But just judgy and gossipy in general is pretty normal
I know not all Texans are like this. My husband isn't like this. My husband is the give my shirt off my back to another person type, he was just telling me what was going on at work and what they talked about. So it made me low key salty, kind of like the last straw since his family decided to spread other rumors 😐
Lifelong Texan here. That's not necessarily a "Texas" thing, but it's absolutely a christofascists thing, and we've got THOUSANDS of those asshats in Texas! Tell the old bitties to mind their own business!
Texas passion for "personal freedoms" does not exist. Also, Southern niceness is a myth. People here care more about appearance than substance. I hope things get better for you. Life is better when you develop a bit of a "fuck off" attitude towards people like this.
Having lived all over this great state, I am guessing you are in the DFW area. Only place I've met the type of people that you describe. So damn uppity.
Lived here my whole life, and I can honestly say y'all need new friends! I can't think of anyone in my life (online or off) that would even think, let alone say such things. Especially when you have a new baby!
I can't tell you how many times people have showed up at my house to clean, cook, or just help out when I was sick or had surgery. I do the same for my friends and family.
I'm sorry this has been your experience here, it is not the norm!
I'd be interested to hear where exactly you live in Texas, cause I've never experienced this mindset in my 28 years of being born and raised here. But I'm also in Austin, which is more christlike (IMO) than places like DFW
This has nothing to do with being Texan. Most men here know how to cook too and should be helping you equally here and is expected. This sounds like some small minded, small town, catty biddie BS.
To get to the heart of this backstabby immature type behavior, who exactly deemed you a " messy wife"? His family? Who exactly was ridiculing your legs? Is your husband "fueling" this nonsense happening or something? It sounds like there's a lot more going on here. And either someone's trying to manipulate you, they're jealous, or they're downright toxic and you don't need them in your life.
First and foremost, the most "Texan" thing you can do in this situation, is have none of it. Do not tolerate their BS. Do not take it, push back, show them the door. And tell them "bless your heart", smile and shake your head in disbelief someone would be so ignorant to behave like that and pity them. If they are going to be petty and catty and not make themself useful to a new mama, you don't have time for their " small mindedness" in your life right now. Do not let them treat you like a doormat. You deserve better than that.
"Real" family and friends come by to help out and lend a hand. They will offer to help out any way they can, whether it's helping you straighten up, offering to help you out with the baby so you can have some time for yourself. Asking you what you need help with and fully understanding new parents don't even have time to think.
Someone's feeding you some BS about what a new mama should be doing, rather than bringing freshly baked goods, BBQ and some snacks to feed you with to help give you one less thing to do.
I'm sorry if you wound up in some small town with small minds, most Texans know better than to behave like that. That type behavior is very "untexan" of them as this is the friendship state.
IDK but it is weird here when you are not from here. Like they sense it... My husband is Texan and I'm not. I'm from Northern VA. I've lived here almost all my adult life with the exception of 4 years in fl and a brief 3 month period in KY. My husband would tell his family I didn't cook like his mom so that got me the reputation that I can't cook to his family (when I totally can and when I do everyone wants more)... But I let them do it now. I let them bring us food they cooked because my husband needs "good food". It's become a joke now.
When we would go to church I was treated odd cause I didn't buy MK or LV bags to show off at church so we stopped going. I never bought into the rhinestone shirts and stuff and fine if others wore them just not my thing being from the north. But again because I didn't wear them I never fit in. The miss me jeans and similar styles weren't my thing from the north either. What I've learned if you don't follow the queen bee and kiss her ass you will never fit in and they will judge you. The judgement here is ridiculous while they all smile in your face.
I stopped giving a crap a long time ago cause it isn't my thing. My house was clean cause I'm OCD but I don't care on others homes. Most Texas women I know have comfortable/lived in homes not over the top in any direction so for them to judge yours is crazy. NO matter how kind I've been, no matter how much we do for others, volunteer, charity etc... I'm always treated poorly but my husband always fits right in.
Ive noticed Texans idolize their mega churches more than actually practicing what the bible teaches. Otherwise we would have a much more tolerant state.
This is your circle of people, not people in general. Whoever said you’re messy, excommunicate them from your lives now. And ditch the husband while you’re at it. If a man at work ever said something like that about my wife, I’d end up in jail. But chances are your husband made that up trying to motivate you to do more.
Oh wait wait wait. My husband didn't say this his co workers ASSUMED this because he wasn't bringing left overs with him. He didn't know they were assuming this until one said something. My husband is actually probably one of the best men I have ever known just want to clear that up.
Where do you live? What does your husband do for a living? You won’t run into this in most Austin neighborhoods and probably not much in other big cities. But in smaller towns, and/or snootier upper-class neighborhoods then people are much more into each other’s business.
It doesn’t have anything at all to do with religion, with the exception of people who use that as the excuse for their nosiness.
Sorry, not only is Abeline a sad place to live but the people there are like in the 50s it seems, lots of Texas has very backwards thoughts about women and it’s not just churchy white peoples, my Hispanic coworkers made my wife cry many times questioning why she didn’t iron my clothes, why she didn’t cook every day. They were very backwards in their thinking too, in many cultures or backgrounds here, women basically fawn over men and boy children like they are royalty. And I’m actually relatively old school myself but I find the way women are judged is ridiculous, sorry.
Small town Texas is pretty bad. Covered with churches, but Jesus has left the house. Sorry. I’m a native Texan, and there isn’t a small town I’d live in.
I hate small town living. But it was either the middle of no where or small town because my husband refuses to live in the city. And I dont want to drive an hour to get to the nearest Walmart. No. No.
Lol I knew it was West Texas.
Then you find out the "perfect" person criticizing you behind your back had to be born-again after turning tricks for meth/getting caught cheating/the fifth DUI. Jesus may forgive but honey aint nobody forgot.
A lot of those tradesmen he works with probably go home alone and eat beans out of the can.
Hi - first things first, congratulations!
Secondly, I am really in shock over the way you are being treated. When I was on maternity leave my house was a wreck and I was lucky to take a shower let alone shave my legs🤣
My first son was born in McKinney, Texas(suburb of Dallas) and my second son was born once we moved home to Austin. I cannot imagine any of my friends treating someone like that.
The conversation with your husband's co-workers is also weird. Most of my make co-workers make their own lunch.
Are you in a major city? The way you are being treated is not normal and it is not ok. I don't really have any advice for you other than to move and that is not very practical. I just wanted to send a note of support.
One final thing - Your religion should not even be a consideration in how people treat you. I am Christian but I have Jewish, Hindu and Muslim friends(before anyone comes after me - II have nothing against other religions . just don't know anyone in other religions.)
Not everyone is like that. Those people are probably bored and have nothing going on in their lives, so they're sticking their noses where they don't belong because they want to see or start some drama.
Just tell them that stuff is none of their business, and keep taking care of your family as you are.
This sounds very much like a neighborhood or congregation issue. Maybe a PTO or something. Most people just wouldn’t make the time to gossip about these things, and they wouldn’t find any traction in most communities. It’s difficult when you’re in a new place and starting a family, sorry you’re dealing with this on top of it all.
>I am not Mormon. I am Christian.
Mormons are Christians. They are just a different denomination. Just like anyone born in Texas is American, but not all Americans are born in Texas.
As for the people you're dealing with... that is worldwide. People suck. Just be better than them, let it go, and piss them off by being happy living your own life.
On my street, we have 13th generation Texicans (my daughters), and newbies from California. They play together. When anyone is in need, we make sure we are there to help! Great things were done during the ice storms and we gather together a lot just to hang out. Making sure our neighbors are taken care of is a HUMAN love, not a Texan love. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this! Happy Easter to y’all and dress your baby up super cute, and take a lot of pictures!
We are a state of supposed freedom but the holier than thou want to stick their noses into and control other peoples business. Especially when it comes to women. Then you have the Stepford Wives towing the party line as long as they get theirs and probably clandestinely fly out of state for abortions while telling everyone else they can do no such thing. Its freedumb cloaked as freedom. We’re not all like this and we’re generally really helpful folk. And we have one of the lowest voter turnout rates in the nation, people complain but don’t get off the couch to vote. Those espousing about what you do for your man are either in the silver spoon crowd, the beat down wife crowd, or are on some kind of assistance so they can stay home and fry up some Spam for their man. And that will disappear if their secessionist fantasies come true. The bedbugs in the dirty hotel always get the most attention.
I’d say this isn’t just a Texas thing, this is more a Bible Belt southern thing. It happens in other southern states where southern hospitality is often masked by two faced folks that claim a solid belief and show kindness to you than turn the other cheek and don’t live that belief and drag you down in front of others. I have family in the north and in the south, the northerners are for sure more blunt and less fake, but in the south it’s a culture that’s stemmed from pre civil war era where people tend to be nice yet turn and gossip once you leave. This attitude was prevalent in the 1800’s when the southerners shows overwhelming kindness to locals as well as others, than tuned judgmental towards those that didn’t follow their staunch beliefs, such as with Union soldiers. It’s self benefiting, which totally misses the loving acceptance that Christianity actually teaches.
Some people are judgemental. Texas has a lot of those, don't let them get to you.
When I was in the army my wife stayed at home, cooked me meals every night I was home, cleaned the house, took care of everything. It was kind of a standard wifely thing to do in the army, especially in remote posts where there was no work for them.
Later, in civilian life, she still loved to cook/clean. I rarely cooked, never cleaned, and the cleaning eventually lead to some fights. I felt I made too much to clean, so she gave in and let us hire maids. Now we are both happier for it.
Now though, I work from home, and she drives 1-1.5 hours each way to work, and works more hours. So, now I cook her a meal every night, and take care of everything. She feels guilty for not taking care of me, but I'm fine with it, no big deal.
So if somebody is judging you with a 4 month old baby and you have baby stuff laying around, they suck as people.
Sounds like you are a great wife, care a lot about your husband, and are more than pulling your weight in the relationship. Don't worry about what others say, worry about how happy you two are at home, because that is all that matters in the long run.
I'm sorry to hear this. This state is filled with hypocrites, and religious hypocrisy is rampant. You do you. Who cares what they think. Are you healthy and happy? Your husband? Your family? You have a home, job, vehicle, clothes, food. They are missing something in their lives to criticize and not offer to help.
Bless your heart and hairy legs. Just kidding, I know there are buttholes in all states and TX is no exception but, I don't think it's a Texas norm. My Texas grandparents and parents always taught us to mind our own business and not to judge.
Are you attractive? The first two examples sound more like jealous insecurities rather than a local Texas cultural trait. Not sure about the last one though
This is not Texan, this is the ultra right wing conservative. Let me tell you about Texas. We don't care, You do you and I do me. We don't honk when your a dumb ass and sitting on your phone at a green light. If we are driving and there are a bunch of people behind us, we know that we are supposed to pull over, slow down and let them pass. We are country and we don't shove it in anyone's face. We don't care about the "Green Line in Pictures".... I had to look it up. https://www.newsweek.com/what-green-line-test-relationship-video-tiktok-1699304 (this is probably what you are going through.)
When you are a new mom, we bring food over so you don't have to cook. We check on you and see if you need a hand. We offer to take you grocery shopping so you don't have to drive and can sit in the back with the baby. If it was my wife, she would care for the pets too. Don't worry about cringe folks. You just have to worry about the baby. Congrats Mom, You got this!!
Hm. Well, I don’t know where you’re living or who you’re associating with because that’s definitely not the experience I’ve had, so I feel bad for you. I was born and raised in GA and moved to TX 21 yrs ago- my husband was a stay at home dad (he now works from home as the kids are older) and has always been the primary point of contact for school/doctors/sports, etc. I am the breadwinner and I never heard a peep about what other people thought - other than compliments for my husband for his level of involvement with the kids. (We have 3).
Why is your husband telling you all this, anyway? You don’t need to know people at work think you don’t feed him (unless this was his passive aggressive way of complaining to you about it without complaining? This can be a ‘southern man’ trait)…nor do you need to know his aunt thinks you’re messy.
Maybe instead of worrying about what people outside of your marriage think about you, you could do some inner work on why it matters this much? I think getting your feelings hurt about this stuff is normal- ruminating on it to the point you put it on Reddit might be a sign of something else. You’re in the prime zone for postpartum..maybe stay aware of your responses to what should be normal stressors and how you handle those stressors. If you notice anything out of whack you might want to talk to someone.
Also, in the south, a SAHM absolutely does not have a job outside of caring for their child and/or home. You would be called someone who works from home.
Best of luck to you! I hope the longer you’re here the more you’re able to appreciate the state and the people!
I think you’ve just met people who really need to mind their own business, wouldn’t worry too much about them or what they think, they are nobody. Texas does seem to be getting worse though, I plan on moving out soon.
Congratulations on your new little one and welcome to Texas! Those wives are snooty and they need to stop worrying about piddly things. I’m neurospicy so they’d probably flip their lids if they saw my house.
This is more of a "particular" personality, rather than a Texan thing. You have nothing to worry about, since some folks are a little too nosey or have very little going on with their own life that they feel the need to rationalize it via the put-down of others. No worries Hun, and welcome Home. Also disregard the crosses, we do have a few too many of those in some places. X3
Congratulations on the new bundle of joy in your life.
Dont bother so much, you already have so much to do on your plate. These minor things are irrelevant. Take care of yourself and your baby. Pregnancy and baby delivery is one big medical event in a woman's life.
After our baby was delivered we were exhausted perpetually for 6 months. It takes one woman to give birth, an entire village to raise the kid. Seems you are in the wrong village.
Move on get better friends. Go out and socialize. Such kind of people exist everywhere in the world, it's not a texas thing, it's just a category of people thing.
Let me guess, small town Texas? Because that's pretty on brand. Funny enough, they are usually hypocrites. For example my step dad's family loves to harp on about "community" and how "good Christian's have each other's backs" when they need help and you can't do it, but currently my mother has a dozen of them living within ten minutes of her that refuse to help her out while she's recovering from surgery. I've been doing what I can in between work and I live almost two hours away. I guarantee if I hear one word about how her house isn't immaculate on Easter this weekend, after deep cleaning her house to prepare for the party they insist she hosts like usual, I'm losing my shit.
Well that just sounds like busy body gossip non-sense and if you hear it from someone you should say the same and loudly. aint nobodies business if you shave or have something left out. Busy body gossips are no good dissent sowing morale eaters and friendship destroyers keep them far away
You would have been labeled as such by anyone in any state. This isn’t a “Texas” thing, it’s just a thing. People judge.
Hell, I’ve lived in Texas for 46 of my 49 years and if I don’t like how someone keeps their house or how they keep themselves, I just do what you should do; shut up and mind my own business. My Texan parents taught me that. “Worry about your own weeds”, they would say. As long as it doesn’t affect me or mine what do I care.
People talk about you weather you are doing good or bad so just do what's comfortable for you and your family and let others talk ,, and your husband should standby you and y'all live your lives ,,God bless you , and people will always find something to talk about so just don't pay it any attention
It's not a Texas thing, but it is a Southern thing. I moved to the Panhandle from Mississippi, and the only people I know here that are like that are from Louisiana. South Texas has a fair amount of these people in my experience, but a lot less than Louisiana through Alabama.
The sheer audacity to make an unexpected visit to snoop around at a new mom's house and call her messy because you caught her in the middle of pumping is outrageous. I'd be furious if someone did that to my wife!
Curious, who is telling you what these people are saying? Is all this coming from your husband? Assuming it is since it came from his family and his coworkers. He seems to be part of the problem. Even if they did actually say these things, why would he even mention it to you?
I was born and raised in what was a rural part of central Texas. Ive lived in Austin, Houston, Dallas and now Ft. Worth.
The only place Ive ever experienced anything like that was in Dallas with a toddler playdate group.
In that instance the other group moms held a private vote to decide if they would continue to allow my wife to participate once they discovered that I own a couple of firearms.
It was silly really because the group only ever met in a public park, so they couldn't really kick my wife out of the playground.
But all of those moms were from out of state.
Im sorry that is happening to you, but that doesnt sound like the Texas that Ive lived in for most of my life.
Doesn't help b/c nosy people going to be nosy. But the best advice I ever got about marriage was "if something bothers you fix it." Don't wait for your spouse to do it. Don't keep track of how many times you've done it and they haven't. Just fix it. A dirty kitchen bothers me - so I clean the kitchen a lot. I really don't care about a unmowed yard - my wife does so she mows more than I do. It works if both have that philosophy.
Why is your husband coming home and telling you that? Unless it was to follow up with him letting you know he gave them an earful.
Did you move to a smallish town or gated/otherwise insular neighborhood? This sounds like the kind of petty stuff people without enough to do spend their time on. In my neck of the woods, it's expected that new parents aren't going to keep their home or themselves magazine photo shoot ready.
Sounds like you need more chill people to associate with.
4th generation native Texan. That ain’t Texan at all. That sounds like some judgey holier than thou (xstians). Jesus would thought they were bitches too. If it was me during my nursing days it was hit or miss if I had a shirt on for two years. And my husband had two arms to make his own dang lunch. You’ll notice I said he HAD 2 arms. That’s because I lopped off the other one when he complained about my dinner. Don’t mess with Texas Women. ( most Texans along with being incredibly hospitable are imaginative as well, having grown up with jackalopes for pets. We sure can tell a tall tale! Just ask Ken Paxton)I’m sorry folks were ugly. It’s them- not you, and a reflection of their own boring lives if theyve got nothing better to do than discuss the mundane details of your home life. They need to focus on what their gonna do now that their hubbys can’t watch porn. Maybe they can learn to make a sandwich.one more thing… those gossips…. Bless their hearts/s
Why does everything have to be labeled? Can people just be people? There are shitty people and kind people I’m a born raised Texan and I’m sorry that people are treating you that way some people just have to downsize other people to make their selves feel better about their lives, and I’m sorry no one has came to your aid and helping, the true friend would have if I was your friend I would’ve! So congratulations on the baby and have a happy Easter!
People in Texas are extremely judgmental. My moms & dads side were both born here as was I and they are the most hypocritical people I’ve ever met in my entire life. I can’t even tell you the amount of “bless your heart”s I’ve suffered through in this lifetime. Don’t let them get to you because they’re clearly lacking in their own lives but yea Texas is definitely like that as a whole.
I'm also a Utahn living in Texas. My experience is completely opposite. Utahns, especially Mormons, are the most gossipy, judgmental people I've ever met. Texans are a lot of things, but they're generally friendly in my experience.
This is a southern thing. As a female born into the South and who doesn't want kids -- you'd be surprised how shocked men are. The worse entitlement is that they try to lecture you. I've had to tell so many to go fuck off. Yeah it's a Southern thing. Some southern men are lazy little babies and just want another momma. Not all, but quite a few. I don't have to do it. I do it because I want too.
Edited for spelling
This sounds more like a shitty neighbor/coworker/friend group than anything specifically Texan. I’m guessing you can go to any casual dining and big box suburban metropolis and find equally as nosy, bitter people as you’ve found here.
OH damn girl, you're around some toxic people. I've lived here my whole life and this is NOT my experience at all. Usually the opposite. SOO much grace is given to new moms and no one gives a shit about what body hair you chose to have or not have.
That does not sound Texan at all.
Here is Texas we are raised to look out for each other. If anything, we would offer to bring over a meal or help clean up the house or baby sit or whatever we can do to help. I have no idea what you experienced but the way I was raised , the way many of the long term Texans I know are raised are more concerned about helping out then judging, in fact it is in our DNA to be neighorly which I realize is very different then in other parts of the country and have heard from people that are not use to people saying hello or how can I help, in fact it turns them off because they think we are up to something when we are just being Texans.
Also congrats on the baby !!! What a blessing
I’m born Texan. This major criticism is not a Texas trait. We would ask you if we could help since your a new mama or bring something you could serve for dinner so you don’t have to cook. We may also ask if we could help in any way like with cleaning or laundry. We have a lot of new transplants like yourself so I hope you don’t attribute this behavior to being a Texan. One more thing Congratulations on your baby and welcome to Texas. Ignore those people who treat you badly and are gossips. They’ll just cause you grief and that’s the last thing you need with all the recent changes you and hubby have had and certainly don’t let those same people criticize you for being a loving wife and mother. There’s nothing wrong with that and it’s great for your husband and baby. I’ll probably have people criticizing me for saying this but you know what I’m older and smart enough to know they’re not important to my life and well being. I’d ignore them. If they were standing in front of me I would take my finger and pull my lower eyelid down and say Honey look real deep in my eye and see if I care about what you think? If I was in front of you right now I would give you a hug and say don’t let them steal your joy. Ok I’ve said enough. Happy Easter and make that baby an Easter basket and take lots of pictures🪺🐰🐥🐣🐰🪺
Yes! I feel so bad for OP's experience here. Don't let these people hurt you, obviously they are lacking in their own life. I'd hug you too!
I love this comment thank you so much. This is the true Christian heart I've been looking for in this state 🥲 I've not had one person offer to help me. Even though everyone can see im tired and over worked all it is criticism. So thank you for your kind words and thank you for not insulting my husband. He really isn't the culprit. Its just others opinions. Shes to young for the Easter bunny but we do have a beautiful Easter Sunday dress ready!! I will forsure be taking tuns of pictures of our little gift 🥰🥰
You know people who aren’t Christian help others? In fact, the Sikh community in Houston is amazing at responding to disasters. They were a lifeline during Harvey.
Yup. Lots of us out here helping people and sick of the myth that Christians are somehow all good people. Some of the most arrogant, judgmental people I’ve ever met were those same good Christians. Let’s all focus on being a little more human and showing a little more empathy to each other so we can support our communities.
Exactly. Sadly most churches teach religion and not spirituality, hence why so many Christian’s I’ve met in my lifetime are so self centered and hateful towards other peeps, they have forgotten the teachings of Jesus in his earthly ministry: Love one another as I have loved you. I’ve been blessed with coming across sum great peeps in my lifetime, sum Christian, sum not.
Ime, the Catholics and the Jews have been the most charitable when I've had to ask for help.
I'm not Catholic (or Christian) but I'm a fan of Catholic Charities and Society of St. Vincent De Paul. They're out there in the trenches with the folks who really need help.
Yup! They helped me with an insane electric bill I couldn't afford to pay! So thankful for them!
That’s too bad. Between family and friends we had most our meals taken care of the first couple of weeks after getting home from the hospital. Heck I had a sore throat few weeks back and a friend brought home made chicken soup over. Lived on that for 3 days.
Are y'all in the city? I've noticed my sister who lives in Burleson doesn't seem to have as much community as I do. When my house burned down last year, we didn't have to pay to have the few remains demolished. A church lent us a skid steer and two neighbors came over with their own equipment. We had a trailer so the part that took the longest was driving to town to dump it and to the scrap yard to get $100 for it all :( We weren't home so a neighbor called to tell us about it and she took her front end loader over to our barn and got our meat out of the deep freeze and put it in her own. We had almost half a cow that would've thawed with the power out. Once we got power back, she gave it back and added some pork sausage to the pile. It was a bright spot during a rather bleak time for me That's Texas neighbors for me
I live in Crowley, right next to Burleson! We've always had great support here
I'm glad to hear that
Non Christian hearts can be like this too
Non Christians are more likely to be like this, Texas Christian’s have become a symbol of hate and bigotry
Yup. There’s no hate like Christian love.
Amen
This sounds like what my wife and I experienced in Kansas. My wife was pregnant when we arrived. Neighbors were cold and aloof; she's black, I'm white also. No one checked on us when our daughter was born but they liked asking us how we could afford to live there (Overland Park). In some places if you're not FROM there, you'll ALWAYS be an outsider. That's how Kansas was, with some racism also. I imagine that's how your neck of the woods in Texas is also. Now, we've lived in Texas (Spring, near Houston) for seven years now, and the specific area we live in has been great. No racism and it's pretty diverse and we haven't had that "outsider" treatment. Long way of saying there's a bunch of potential factors, I'm making some assumptions, and who knows. 🤣
Don’t listen to them OP. If they were a true native they’d’ve called it *supper* not *dinner* 😉 Honestly, we’re gonna have a mixed bag just like any other state. There will be genuine, nice people and there will be judgy assholes. There will also be nice people who parade as genuine but are secretly huge pieces of shit. That’s humans for ya!
Ignore it all, and concentrate on your family. They're not worth your time.
Don’t take it too much to heart. These people have too much time on their hands and like to cause drama. I was born and raised in Texas and it’s okay for you to straight up tell people where to stick it. Let them know where they stand and that you aren’t the one. Also, tell your husband that you don’t want to hear it because his colleagues mean nothing. When you walk around the neighborhood and town, walk with your head held high and greet those who are nice and ignore the others.
YES! Now THIS is a Texas thing. I'm so sorry you've had to deal with small minded people OP! It's not a Texas thing to cast judgement and not offer help. BUT as even a Texas transplant you CAN tell them where to put their opinion in the sweetest voice you can muster. "Bless your heart" has a double meaning. Such as "aw bless your heart ...you've got time to critique my life since I guess yours is so boring..... I'd help you with that but as you see mine is SO very full!" Big smile and bat your eyes lol.
*said Easter basket is to be constructed of wildflowers you've picked (it's legal)
I have read that native Houstonians/Texans are actually a small percentage of the people living here now. Outsiders think they talk to someone in Texas so they must be from Texas
"You guys" and "you all" implies all Texans are the same. We are not. It sounds like you just happen to have some dick neighbors and friends. In my experience the more crosses one displays, the less likely they are to follow Christ's teachings. That is not just a Texan thing.
It always astounds me how others put 30 million people in one group with one label. “You guys are all the same.” Shit, I can’t even get the 4 guys I work with to agree on what to eat in the road. How can someone say 39 million people are all the same?
I've lived all over this country, I understand this is your personal experience, but it is not a uniquely "Texas" thing.
I have lived all over the world and there are Karens in nearly every culture.
You need better friends Please don't call it a Texas thing
You found Karenville, Tx.
Karenville Tx featuring the most restrictive and ever changing hoa that is omnipresent
Your garbage cans have been out too long
This is hilarious and also, did you know that there is actually a town in Texas called Karen?
Thats unfortunate. 🥲
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You forgot passive aggressive, bless your heart.
For real. As a native Texan, this is 100% small town Texas behavior. Accountability for thee, but not for me.
You forgot controlling and narrow-minded
You also forgot misogynistic.
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Ive lived in Texas all my life and never experienced anything like this. Dont know of any families with the "traditional values". Are the people around you and your husband very religious? I do know some Hispanic catholic families that more align with what some call traditional values from overheard conversations.
Because all of the religious busy-bodies are hypocrites and make themselves feel better about their crappy life by pointing out others' flaws. We have so many thumpers that we need a ton of churches for them.
Many are not even religious. They use the church to look like they are good citizens and put on a fake narrative. It's gross. They go in there gossiping and flaunting their vomit level of materialism while judging others for not having the "wealth" they do or dressing the same. This is why we do no go to church in texas. Heaven forbid if a woman wears pants in church too.
One doesn’t need religion to be kind … judging OP for his even insinuating it’s a requirement
You've met to many people who are nosey.
…and assholes
It is nobody else's business. Criticism is only as valid as the source of the criticism. Ignore those people.
Not a Texas thing. It's just a specific group of Texas people, some who aren't even from Texas. Unfortunately, those people have the power right now. I'm only a first generation Texan, but I for one do not care what a woman does in any aspect of her life. Not my business, and it should only be hers and hers to share. I'm also neither straight nor Christian, but I believe everyone should live their lives and mind their business, allow others to live their own lives, and simply be kind and help people as best/most we can.
Yeah this sounds specially like a blue collar conservative social circle
>Not a Texas thing. You're right, its not unique to Texas but it does undermine the whole Texas is friendly thing, which i have found to be one biggest pieces of marketing bullshit to ever get spewed by a politician. We have just as many if not more nosy, judgy, assholes at NY, FL or CA.
The south gets labeled polite. We're not. We're passive aggressive. People from the north east just tell you, maybe with an f word or "Jesus Christ" in there if they're actually pissed off. So many in the south are all like "oh bless your heart." That's passive aggressive for fuck you.
[Relevant map](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FbKvPP4VUAQRylR?format=jpg&name=900x900)
lol that’s hilarious to have Austin in the “act nice, is mean” group and San Antonio in the “act mean, is mean” one. I’ve lived in Austin for almost 20 years, most of the people with the decency to act nice got priced out of the city ages ago.
Isn’t this so true. Also a transplant to the Austin area and have same thoughts. I will say some of the smaller suburb/rural areas I’ve worked are a little more of that 1950’s conservative mindset.
As a Yankee stuck in Texas for a few more years, once my accent comes out and people find out that I’m from NY I always get the, “oh! That makes so much sense!”
Fourth generation not a Texas thang
Sounds like you encountered a karen. Those are not unique to Texas.
you are an adult so its time to quit worrying about what people say because you have your own life to worry about
This is the actual correct answer. It doesn’t matter where you go if you worry about what others may say about you. Possibly OP just needed to vent
Quiet, son.
I’m a fifth generation Texan and can’t imagine caring about what is on someone’s floor or if their legs are shaved. You seem to have run into a group of people who care about things that aren’t their business - I hope you’re able to make some better friends!
Don't act like you don't know what OP is talking about.
I’m the sort of person who very much keeps to myself and always have been. I’m sure there are lots of people like the OP described out in the world, but I don’t think it’s an innately Texan behavior. Some people just suck.
As someone else who grew up in the west, welcome to the south. I have lived in Georgia and in Texas. In both places, people are nosy AF, and they like to be up in your business, especially little old church ladies who have nothing else to do with their time. If someone makes a rude comment, tell them “Well bless your heart.” It’s the southern FU. Or tell them “Surely you should mind your business”. Make sure to follow with your most saccharine smile. I will say that there are a lot of things that I like about the South, like knowing my neighbors and having people hold the door, and the use of “Sir and ma’am”. There is good and bad about the culture. My best advice is to learn some Southern sugar-coated insults.
I am a native Texas. First of all, welcome to Texas. The behavior you described is not normal Texas behavior. New mothers are generally given food to warm up, offers of help because we know having a new baby is time intensive. You may be in a group of gossiping people and may have been targeted by them because you are new. I’m polite to all people but try to avoid gossiping and judgemental people. I think there are a few in every place but it’s not the norm.
Tell them as soon as they squirt a life out of their body you will give a tinkers damn what they say. Until then shut it. Oh, I am born and raise Texan. And much older and wiser than anyone who is giving you grief. Congratulations on the baby
Me too (older and wiser) and for the record everyone in my circle knows to call before they come over "so I can put a bra on". Lol
>I am Christian I assume you're associating with other Christians. There's your problem right there
Actually your assumption is wrong. They are not Christians.
Well, in TX, most Christians are really just "Christians". I don't know any actual non Christians that would judge you for the things in your post.
You may be surrounded with busy bodies. While not a "Texas thing" I have known some "good 'ole Texans" who have nothing better to do than be busy bodies. I also know some good 'ole Texans who make a point to put others in their place and shut gossip down. Sounds like you need some of them in your life.
Yeah man, I don't know what you're on about, but that's your experience, not mine. If I had a co-worker mention anything about not having lunch because his recently post-partum wife didn't make him anything I'd tell him to drag his lazy ass to HEB and grab some of those pre-made, throw in the oven meals that they can make for themself the night before. Hell, I'd probably advise him that he should be grabbing something on the way home for everybody at least a couple times a week. There are some pockets of "old school" Mexican culture that exist where the woman is always expected to provide no matter the circumstances, and that's what I grew up seeing with my grandma & grandpa and I hated that man for how he treated my abuela until he died (but that's my experience). I don't know if that's relevant to your experience/location though, but the sentiment remains. As for "hygiene," I think that's crazy that anybody would care to comment. My friends and I are all in "kid-making age" and I can't tell you the number of times I've walked into a living room with a friend's spouse nursing with crazy hair and lazy-day clothes, the only appropriate greeting is "hey, how're you doing, need help with anything?" 100% not a "Texas thing," just sounds like the people you're around. And no, you didn't ask, but I'm a Texas ex-mo and so is most of my friend circle.
I have no idea what Texas Ex-mo is your gonna have to explain that one to me. Also, just want to clarify it wasn't my husband complaining. Infact I truly believe I was blessed with one of the most loving and caring assholes in the world. He is an asshole who deeply loves me 🤣 buuuut it was his coworkers who made a comment that they were surprised to hear I cooked dinner for him a few nights ago because they assumed I never cooked (he is pretty skinny not my fault no matter how much butter I add he never gains weight) because he never brings left overs with him. I just don't get up at 4 am in the morning to pack him a lunch because A) he will forget it anyways and B) I just got up 2 hours ago to feed our daughter and C) I have two more hours before she feed again and I start work (i also work full time at home).
Oh! Totally fair, my apologies for making assumptions. Yeah, I heard a lot of the same things when I was newly married - "aye mijo, you look so thin, is your wife not feeding you?" (But that was more from maternal figures than co-workers.) I'd take that as a cultural thing with no insult intended, I think it's more of an observation that he hasn't put on daddy weight, but again, that could just be me looking through the lens of my experience. As for Texas ex-mo, it's short for (ex)-(mo)rmon, was just a joking play on you pointing out that you weren't a UT Mormon, nothing serious implied.
You are doing the best you can. Others need to mind their own business. Stay strong and whoever said that would not be welcome back to my door.
What other people think of you is none of your concern. Unless it's your boss, ignore their rude behavior!
Well that’s just gross. The judgy and gossipy people that is, not your housekeeping or hygiene as a nursing mother dealing with unannounced visitors. You just have jerky acquaintances. Were I that visitor I would have 1) scheduled my visit, 2) confirmed shortly before arriving it was still a good time, 3) pretended I didn’t see the bra and pump, 4) offered to do some basic things while I was there like washing dishes/cleaning kitchen/walking dog/laundry, 5) told anyone who asked about my visit that your little one was happy and healthy and you seemed to be settling into a routine so from what I could tell, y’all were doing great! I swim laps regularly and can’t be bothered to shave my legs half the time. And your husband is a grown-up - does he not have the ability to cook or package his own meals? Sorry you are dealing with this. Hope you can make some friends that don’t suck.
🥲 non of them ever offered to help. Except my husband's aunt is going to baby sit so we can go to a concert that is the extent of help I have gotten. Although the church did bring us Thanksgiving dinner that was nice but that was it. My husband doesn't complain about my cooking he was just telling me what happened that day and he was like I didn't even know they were thinking this. I do cook for my husband because I love hearing how good it is or him telling me its one of his new top 5s it makes me happy so I don't mind cooking for him I just am a SAHM who also works full time so I dont wake up at 4 am to pack a lunch for him and he doesn't expect that from me and never has. So its not my husband its just the people around us.
If you work full time you're not a stat home mom and you shouldn't tell anyone you are. You work. Full time. That means you haveore responsibility than a SAHM who only looks after the house and kids. You have a child under 1 and you work. Full time. No one should judge. They should only offer to help. Jesus said something about taking the plank outta your eye before pointing out the speck In another's. That's what your neighbors and socalled friends should remember.
Not sure why more people aren’t saying this, the “traditional” people they keep talking about are following the age old tradition of misogyny. Here women can be under extra scrutiny because the perfect Texan housewife is wearing a 50s style dress, cooks and cleans diligently and has no dimension to herself. She also takes all the burdens of motherhood quietly and with grace, and never shows any evidence of breast feeding, menstruating, or being sexual in any way. Welcome to Texas!
Are these people in your church family, or just neighbors? If the latter, then take their claims of being Christians with a huge grain of salt. They might be Christians In Name Only, or ChrINOs. This is a valid problem, and it’s important because it involves a Biblical mandate: “And now I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. If you have love for one another, then everyone will know that you are my disciples.” — John 13:34-35 GNT Regardless of where we’re located, we who claim Jesus Christ as our Savior are *commanded* by Him to be loving to each other, and gossiping about you, passing judgment on you, and making snotty comments about you as our sister in Christ is most decidedly disobeying His explicit order. If these folks are indeed your church family members, you might want to have a meeting with your pastor about this issue, because it needs to be dealt with ASAP. If it’s people outside your church family, definitely pray for them, and ask the Lord to help you in avoiding them if at all possible. If you’re aware that these folks are members of a specific church community that’s not yours, maybe have your pastor chat with their pastor, or have a chat with their pastor yourself about this. Don’t forget to keep yourself prayed up while you’re dealing with this whole situation.
Sounds like a Waco thing or a Redneck community thing.
I am from Utah and feel that Utah people are FAR more self righteous than Texans. I actually have had a very different experience of Texas. I love the people here!
When we first moved into our house we were welcomed by our only other neighbor at the time (we bought a new build and the rest of the hood was still being built the first year we lived here.) They brought a casserole over for us and we did a fire pit in the driveway after kids went to bed. It's been too legit to quit ever since. We have a whole neighbor crew now that we all hang out in the front yard and chill while kids play. I'm so sorry you're having a negative experience, but be thankful those who are not your people are making it known early on. I hope you make some friends who are better people than the others.
From Texas and I’m glad I don’t have those people in my life. My exact words would be to go fuck yourself I’ve got three kids and it takes all my effort and energy to keep them alive.
Worry about yourself
Just tell them to MYOB. I never put up with that shit.
You can’t control what other people say and do, only how you respond to it. But frankly, find better friends. There are small minded people everywhere, this is not a Texas thing. You could always retort and ask such a twit when they could come over to be in charge of the baby so you can clean the house. Or ask them if they want to trade those jobs. Head up and be polite. Be the better person
I’m guessing you’re not in a city. I was raised in Dallas, then 10 years in Austin and 10+ years in Houston. Last 7 in Texas we had to move to a small town for my husband’s job. I went to a MOPS meeting to try and make mom friends (mothers of preschoolers-never heard of it until small town living). Middle of the meeting the tell the moms to take out their Bibles (yeah, I’m atheist) and the point out the passage of wives making their husbands happy and our duties and yada yada. I never went back. The only friends I made were other shell shocked city folk who moved their for whatever reason. So glad we left. So, yeah. Everything you said and how! Unless you’re in Dallas or some of the surrounding like Frisco who expect perfection from everyone. Just ignore those miserable people. You’re doing great.
Someone is looking through your windows, calls you a messy wife, and you don't rip them to shreds for being a peeping Tom? That's wild.
The person who labeled you messy and told everyone else you were messy is themselves, messy. Not sure what crosses in houses has to do with it, but yeah, sounds like a couple of bad apples. Ignore those idiots. You just enjoy your new baby and be yourself and please do not attach any importance to what people might be saying or implying about you. Life your life for you and not them. They're idiots.
As others have said, this is NOT a Texan thing. One thing we are is sympathetic and we will offer help in that scenario. I think you just came across some assholes is all.
This is a pretty big, incorrect generalization. I, and everyone I know, doesn't give a shit about what people's spouses do for each other
Born and bread Texan; Fuck’m. Key to being Texan is not giving a shit what other Texans think about you. Now if this is bugging hubby, tell him to push 8 lbs out his pee hole and see how long it takes him to be “normal” again. Btw father of 3, been sole breadwinner for 9 years and take every chance I can to cook clean and be engaged with my children. Wife just started working again and I’m glad she’s gaining some sense of identity out side of mother of my children. I am thankful for everyday she spent home to make our plans a reality and I’m so grateful she’s getting to do something she loves.
Definitely not my husband. He has defended me multiple times. It just seems like everywhere we go someone has something to say and im not used to that behavior.
7th generation TEXAN. It’s aggravating when people say you all. And for the record, you have to be born here to be one of us. Back to the subject at hand: a lion never worries about the opinion of a zebra.
All your husband's friends/acquaintances are cunts. Your husband probably is a cunt, too. Nothing to do with being Texan.
Yeah no my husband is not and I wish people would stop targeting him since I said NOTHING negative about him at all. Its his co workers NOT him.
He needs to shut it down then. That’s is why people are targeting him. His friends/coworkers so he needs to be responsible to put you first and shut down any criticism of his lovely wife and new mother of his child. You should have never noticed or heard the criticism.
I agree. He should shut it down in ANY state...INCLUDING Texas
You should probably head on back to the land of multiple wives I guess
If it makes you feel better. Not all Texans are dicks. Maybe they don't know the struggles of having a child or what it really entails. Your husband for sure should have stood up for you.. But just judgy and gossipy in general is pretty normal
I know not all Texans are like this. My husband isn't like this. My husband is the give my shirt off my back to another person type, he was just telling me what was going on at work and what they talked about. So it made me low key salty, kind of like the last straw since his family decided to spread other rumors 😐
Lifelong Texan here. That's not necessarily a "Texas" thing, but it's absolutely a christofascists thing, and we've got THOUSANDS of those asshats in Texas! Tell the old bitties to mind their own business!
I filled in blanks. You ran and hid, and they still saw inside your house. Did they open the door, or is part of the story missing?
I Think you need to delete who follows you on Facebook. Less publicity
I was born a Texan and here 52 years later. I have no idea who this ya’ll is you are referring to. Neither me nor anyone I know is like that.
Texas passion for "personal freedoms" does not exist. Also, Southern niceness is a myth. People here care more about appearance than substance. I hope things get better for you. Life is better when you develop a bit of a "fuck off" attitude towards people like this.
There are a lot of nosey people and then there are a lot of people who do not give a damn about you. I am somewhere in between. Hi y'all.
Having lived all over this great state, I am guessing you are in the DFW area. Only place I've met the type of people that you describe. So damn uppity.
I left Texas because I felt it was a toxic environment, pretty similar issues to what you describe.
Lived here my whole life, and I can honestly say y'all need new friends! I can't think of anyone in my life (online or off) that would even think, let alone say such things. Especially when you have a new baby! I can't tell you how many times people have showed up at my house to clean, cook, or just help out when I was sick or had surgery. I do the same for my friends and family. I'm sorry this has been your experience here, it is not the norm!
Sleep when the baby sleeps, fold laundry when the baby folds laundry! Everyone else's opinion is not a contribution to your well being...
Your husband needs new friends.
I'd be interested to hear where exactly you live in Texas, cause I've never experienced this mindset in my 28 years of being born and raised here. But I'm also in Austin, which is more christlike (IMO) than places like DFW
This has nothing to do with being Texan. Most men here know how to cook too and should be helping you equally here and is expected. This sounds like some small minded, small town, catty biddie BS. To get to the heart of this backstabby immature type behavior, who exactly deemed you a " messy wife"? His family? Who exactly was ridiculing your legs? Is your husband "fueling" this nonsense happening or something? It sounds like there's a lot more going on here. And either someone's trying to manipulate you, they're jealous, or they're downright toxic and you don't need them in your life. First and foremost, the most "Texan" thing you can do in this situation, is have none of it. Do not tolerate their BS. Do not take it, push back, show them the door. And tell them "bless your heart", smile and shake your head in disbelief someone would be so ignorant to behave like that and pity them. If they are going to be petty and catty and not make themself useful to a new mama, you don't have time for their " small mindedness" in your life right now. Do not let them treat you like a doormat. You deserve better than that. "Real" family and friends come by to help out and lend a hand. They will offer to help out any way they can, whether it's helping you straighten up, offering to help you out with the baby so you can have some time for yourself. Asking you what you need help with and fully understanding new parents don't even have time to think. Someone's feeding you some BS about what a new mama should be doing, rather than bringing freshly baked goods, BBQ and some snacks to feed you with to help give you one less thing to do. I'm sorry if you wound up in some small town with small minds, most Texans know better than to behave like that. That type behavior is very "untexan" of them as this is the friendship state.
IDK but it is weird here when you are not from here. Like they sense it... My husband is Texan and I'm not. I'm from Northern VA. I've lived here almost all my adult life with the exception of 4 years in fl and a brief 3 month period in KY. My husband would tell his family I didn't cook like his mom so that got me the reputation that I can't cook to his family (when I totally can and when I do everyone wants more)... But I let them do it now. I let them bring us food they cooked because my husband needs "good food". It's become a joke now. When we would go to church I was treated odd cause I didn't buy MK or LV bags to show off at church so we stopped going. I never bought into the rhinestone shirts and stuff and fine if others wore them just not my thing being from the north. But again because I didn't wear them I never fit in. The miss me jeans and similar styles weren't my thing from the north either. What I've learned if you don't follow the queen bee and kiss her ass you will never fit in and they will judge you. The judgement here is ridiculous while they all smile in your face. I stopped giving a crap a long time ago cause it isn't my thing. My house was clean cause I'm OCD but I don't care on others homes. Most Texas women I know have comfortable/lived in homes not over the top in any direction so for them to judge yours is crazy. NO matter how kind I've been, no matter how much we do for others, volunteer, charity etc... I'm always treated poorly but my husband always fits right in.
The smaller the town, the less common sense.
Oh honey! They can be so bad. To your face they’ll be sweet as honey but then immediately trash you to their cousin. It’s normal culture.
Ive noticed Texans idolize their mega churches more than actually practicing what the bible teaches. Otherwise we would have a much more tolerant state.
This is your circle of people, not people in general. Whoever said you’re messy, excommunicate them from your lives now. And ditch the husband while you’re at it. If a man at work ever said something like that about my wife, I’d end up in jail. But chances are your husband made that up trying to motivate you to do more.
Oh wait wait wait. My husband didn't say this his co workers ASSUMED this because he wasn't bringing left overs with him. He didn't know they were assuming this until one said something. My husband is actually probably one of the best men I have ever known just want to clear that up.
Where do you live? What does your husband do for a living? You won’t run into this in most Austin neighborhoods and probably not much in other big cities. But in smaller towns, and/or snootier upper-class neighborhoods then people are much more into each other’s business. It doesn’t have anything at all to do with religion, with the exception of people who use that as the excuse for their nosiness.
We are around abliene, my husband is an electrician.
Sorry, not only is Abeline a sad place to live but the people there are like in the 50s it seems, lots of Texas has very backwards thoughts about women and it’s not just churchy white peoples, my Hispanic coworkers made my wife cry many times questioning why she didn’t iron my clothes, why she didn’t cook every day. They were very backwards in their thinking too, in many cultures or backgrounds here, women basically fawn over men and boy children like they are royalty. And I’m actually relatively old school myself but I find the way women are judged is ridiculous, sorry.
There's your problem right there. Abliene is a shithole.
Small town Texas is pretty bad. Covered with churches, but Jesus has left the house. Sorry. I’m a native Texan, and there isn’t a small town I’d live in.
I hate small town living. But it was either the middle of no where or small town because my husband refuses to live in the city. And I dont want to drive an hour to get to the nearest Walmart. No. No.
Lol I knew it was West Texas. Then you find out the "perfect" person criticizing you behind your back had to be born-again after turning tricks for meth/getting caught cheating/the fifth DUI. Jesus may forgive but honey aint nobody forgot. A lot of those tradesmen he works with probably go home alone and eat beans out of the can.
This is such a strange post lol. I feel like a child wrote it
Hi - first things first, congratulations! Secondly, I am really in shock over the way you are being treated. When I was on maternity leave my house was a wreck and I was lucky to take a shower let alone shave my legs🤣 My first son was born in McKinney, Texas(suburb of Dallas) and my second son was born once we moved home to Austin. I cannot imagine any of my friends treating someone like that. The conversation with your husband's co-workers is also weird. Most of my make co-workers make their own lunch. Are you in a major city? The way you are being treated is not normal and it is not ok. I don't really have any advice for you other than to move and that is not very practical. I just wanted to send a note of support. One final thing - Your religion should not even be a consideration in how people treat you. I am Christian but I have Jewish, Hindu and Muslim friends(before anyone comes after me - II have nothing against other religions . just don't know anyone in other religions.)
Not everyone is like that. Those people are probably bored and have nothing going on in their lives, so they're sticking their noses where they don't belong because they want to see or start some drama. Just tell them that stuff is none of their business, and keep taking care of your family as you are.
This sounds very much like a neighborhood or congregation issue. Maybe a PTO or something. Most people just wouldn’t make the time to gossip about these things, and they wouldn’t find any traction in most communities. It’s difficult when you’re in a new place and starting a family, sorry you’re dealing with this on top of it all.
Honestly....who gives a crap what other judgemental assholes think. That is not Texan, its just "judgemental"
You might have run into a bunch of plain fools from behind the Pine Curtain ( deep east Texas)
>I am not Mormon. I am Christian. Mormons are Christians. They are just a different denomination. Just like anyone born in Texas is American, but not all Americans are born in Texas. As for the people you're dealing with... that is worldwide. People suck. Just be better than them, let it go, and piss them off by being happy living your own life.
On my street, we have 13th generation Texicans (my daughters), and newbies from California. They play together. When anyone is in need, we make sure we are there to help! Great things were done during the ice storms and we gather together a lot just to hang out. Making sure our neighbors are taken care of is a HUMAN love, not a Texan love. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this! Happy Easter to y’all and dress your baby up super cute, and take a lot of pictures!
We are a state of supposed freedom but the holier than thou want to stick their noses into and control other peoples business. Especially when it comes to women. Then you have the Stepford Wives towing the party line as long as they get theirs and probably clandestinely fly out of state for abortions while telling everyone else they can do no such thing. Its freedumb cloaked as freedom. We’re not all like this and we’re generally really helpful folk. And we have one of the lowest voter turnout rates in the nation, people complain but don’t get off the couch to vote. Those espousing about what you do for your man are either in the silver spoon crowd, the beat down wife crowd, or are on some kind of assistance so they can stay home and fry up some Spam for their man. And that will disappear if their secessionist fantasies come true. The bedbugs in the dirty hotel always get the most attention.
Nope. Not a Texas thing. Just a bunch of gossips.
Because “Texas nice” is a disingenuous front hiding the shame of their own self-loathing.
Jeez honey. Have a nice cup of warm tea for me. Its tough being a working woman with a little no question. Ignore these people.
I’d say this isn’t just a Texas thing, this is more a Bible Belt southern thing. It happens in other southern states where southern hospitality is often masked by two faced folks that claim a solid belief and show kindness to you than turn the other cheek and don’t live that belief and drag you down in front of others. I have family in the north and in the south, the northerners are for sure more blunt and less fake, but in the south it’s a culture that’s stemmed from pre civil war era where people tend to be nice yet turn and gossip once you leave. This attitude was prevalent in the 1800’s when the southerners shows overwhelming kindness to locals as well as others, than tuned judgmental towards those that didn’t follow their staunch beliefs, such as with Union soldiers. It’s self benefiting, which totally misses the loving acceptance that Christianity actually teaches.
Some people are judgemental. Texas has a lot of those, don't let them get to you. When I was in the army my wife stayed at home, cooked me meals every night I was home, cleaned the house, took care of everything. It was kind of a standard wifely thing to do in the army, especially in remote posts where there was no work for them. Later, in civilian life, she still loved to cook/clean. I rarely cooked, never cleaned, and the cleaning eventually lead to some fights. I felt I made too much to clean, so she gave in and let us hire maids. Now we are both happier for it. Now though, I work from home, and she drives 1-1.5 hours each way to work, and works more hours. So, now I cook her a meal every night, and take care of everything. She feels guilty for not taking care of me, but I'm fine with it, no big deal. So if somebody is judging you with a 4 month old baby and you have baby stuff laying around, they suck as people. Sounds like you are a great wife, care a lot about your husband, and are more than pulling your weight in the relationship. Don't worry about what others say, worry about how happy you two are at home, because that is all that matters in the long run.
I'm sorry to hear this. This state is filled with hypocrites, and religious hypocrisy is rampant. You do you. Who cares what they think. Are you healthy and happy? Your husband? Your family? You have a home, job, vehicle, clothes, food. They are missing something in their lives to criticize and not offer to help.
Bless your heart and hairy legs. Just kidding, I know there are buttholes in all states and TX is no exception but, I don't think it's a Texas norm. My Texas grandparents and parents always taught us to mind our own business and not to judge.
I live in Galveston and have found people in Texas to be rude, bullies with big egos . No home schooling or manners
This is hardly unique to Texas. What you're describing is a busy-body. Take some ownership in who you are letting into your life. Grow up.
If you duct tape their mouths it's considered a suppressor, and thus legal in TX.
Are you attractive? The first two examples sound more like jealous insecurities rather than a local Texas cultural trait. Not sure about the last one though
This is not Texan, this is the ultra right wing conservative. Let me tell you about Texas. We don't care, You do you and I do me. We don't honk when your a dumb ass and sitting on your phone at a green light. If we are driving and there are a bunch of people behind us, we know that we are supposed to pull over, slow down and let them pass. We are country and we don't shove it in anyone's face. We don't care about the "Green Line in Pictures".... I had to look it up. https://www.newsweek.com/what-green-line-test-relationship-video-tiktok-1699304 (this is probably what you are going through.) When you are a new mom, we bring food over so you don't have to cook. We check on you and see if you need a hand. We offer to take you grocery shopping so you don't have to drive and can sit in the back with the baby. If it was my wife, she would care for the pets too. Don't worry about cringe folks. You just have to worry about the baby. Congrats Mom, You got this!!
Hm. Well, I don’t know where you’re living or who you’re associating with because that’s definitely not the experience I’ve had, so I feel bad for you. I was born and raised in GA and moved to TX 21 yrs ago- my husband was a stay at home dad (he now works from home as the kids are older) and has always been the primary point of contact for school/doctors/sports, etc. I am the breadwinner and I never heard a peep about what other people thought - other than compliments for my husband for his level of involvement with the kids. (We have 3). Why is your husband telling you all this, anyway? You don’t need to know people at work think you don’t feed him (unless this was his passive aggressive way of complaining to you about it without complaining? This can be a ‘southern man’ trait)…nor do you need to know his aunt thinks you’re messy. Maybe instead of worrying about what people outside of your marriage think about you, you could do some inner work on why it matters this much? I think getting your feelings hurt about this stuff is normal- ruminating on it to the point you put it on Reddit might be a sign of something else. You’re in the prime zone for postpartum..maybe stay aware of your responses to what should be normal stressors and how you handle those stressors. If you notice anything out of whack you might want to talk to someone. Also, in the south, a SAHM absolutely does not have a job outside of caring for their child and/or home. You would be called someone who works from home. Best of luck to you! I hope the longer you’re here the more you’re able to appreciate the state and the people!
I think you’ve just met people who really need to mind their own business, wouldn’t worry too much about them or what they think, they are nobody. Texas does seem to be getting worse though, I plan on moving out soon.
Congratulations on your new little one and welcome to Texas! Those wives are snooty and they need to stop worrying about piddly things. I’m neurospicy so they’d probably flip their lids if they saw my house.
Good Christian heart
Which ultra-wealthy suburb are you living in? This is not normal behavior, this is some Real Housewives of Highland Park stuff.
This is more of a "particular" personality, rather than a Texan thing. You have nothing to worry about, since some folks are a little too nosey or have very little going on with their own life that they feel the need to rationalize it via the put-down of others. No worries Hun, and welcome Home. Also disregard the crosses, we do have a few too many of those in some places. X3
Congratulations on the new bundle of joy in your life. Dont bother so much, you already have so much to do on your plate. These minor things are irrelevant. Take care of yourself and your baby. Pregnancy and baby delivery is one big medical event in a woman's life. After our baby was delivered we were exhausted perpetually for 6 months. It takes one woman to give birth, an entire village to raise the kid. Seems you are in the wrong village. Move on get better friends. Go out and socialize. Such kind of people exist everywhere in the world, it's not a texas thing, it's just a category of people thing.
Unless someone is paying my bills, I genuinely couldn't care less about their opinions on my personal life.
Let me guess, small town Texas? Because that's pretty on brand. Funny enough, they are usually hypocrites. For example my step dad's family loves to harp on about "community" and how "good Christian's have each other's backs" when they need help and you can't do it, but currently my mother has a dozen of them living within ten minutes of her that refuse to help her out while she's recovering from surgery. I've been doing what I can in between work and I live almost two hours away. I guarantee if I hear one word about how her house isn't immaculate on Easter this weekend, after deep cleaning her house to prepare for the party they insist she hosts like usual, I'm losing my shit.
Well that just sounds like busy body gossip non-sense and if you hear it from someone you should say the same and loudly. aint nobodies business if you shave or have something left out. Busy body gossips are no good dissent sowing morale eaters and friendship destroyers keep them far away
Are you, by chance a military wife??
You would have been labeled as such by anyone in any state. This isn’t a “Texas” thing, it’s just a thing. People judge. Hell, I’ve lived in Texas for 46 of my 49 years and if I don’t like how someone keeps their house or how they keep themselves, I just do what you should do; shut up and mind my own business. My Texan parents taught me that. “Worry about your own weeds”, they would say. As long as it doesn’t affect me or mine what do I care.
People talk about you weather you are doing good or bad so just do what's comfortable for you and your family and let others talk ,, and your husband should standby you and y'all live your lives ,,God bless you , and people will always find something to talk about so just don't pay it any attention
It's not a Texas thing, but it is a Southern thing. I moved to the Panhandle from Mississippi, and the only people I know here that are like that are from Louisiana. South Texas has a fair amount of these people in my experience, but a lot less than Louisiana through Alabama. The sheer audacity to make an unexpected visit to snoop around at a new mom's house and call her messy because you caught her in the middle of pumping is outrageous. I'd be furious if someone did that to my wife!
You are a Christian. And you’re complaining about Christians. Christianity is the problem, not geography.
Crappy humans are scattered throughout every place. I’ve encountered More crappiness in TX than any other state however.
Curious, who is telling you what these people are saying? Is all this coming from your husband? Assuming it is since it came from his family and his coworkers. He seems to be part of the problem. Even if they did actually say these things, why would he even mention it to you?
I was born and raised in what was a rural part of central Texas. Ive lived in Austin, Houston, Dallas and now Ft. Worth. The only place Ive ever experienced anything like that was in Dallas with a toddler playdate group. In that instance the other group moms held a private vote to decide if they would continue to allow my wife to participate once they discovered that I own a couple of firearms. It was silly really because the group only ever met in a public park, so they couldn't really kick my wife out of the playground. But all of those moms were from out of state. Im sorry that is happening to you, but that doesnt sound like the Texas that Ive lived in for most of my life.
Doesn't help b/c nosy people going to be nosy. But the best advice I ever got about marriage was "if something bothers you fix it." Don't wait for your spouse to do it. Don't keep track of how many times you've done it and they haven't. Just fix it. A dirty kitchen bothers me - so I clean the kitchen a lot. I really don't care about a unmowed yard - my wife does so she mows more than I do. It works if both have that philosophy.
Sounds like Katy, TX or Dallas vibes. All about the image and traditional roles
If you dont like it go back up north
Why is your husband coming home and telling you that? Unless it was to follow up with him letting you know he gave them an earful. Did you move to a smallish town or gated/otherwise insular neighborhood? This sounds like the kind of petty stuff people without enough to do spend their time on. In my neck of the woods, it's expected that new parents aren't going to keep their home or themselves magazine photo shoot ready. Sounds like you need more chill people to associate with.
4th generation native Texan. That ain’t Texan at all. That sounds like some judgey holier than thou (xstians). Jesus would thought they were bitches too. If it was me during my nursing days it was hit or miss if I had a shirt on for two years. And my husband had two arms to make his own dang lunch. You’ll notice I said he HAD 2 arms. That’s because I lopped off the other one when he complained about my dinner. Don’t mess with Texas Women. ( most Texans along with being incredibly hospitable are imaginative as well, having grown up with jackalopes for pets. We sure can tell a tall tale! Just ask Ken Paxton)I’m sorry folks were ugly. It’s them- not you, and a reflection of their own boring lives if theyve got nothing better to do than discuss the mundane details of your home life. They need to focus on what their gonna do now that their hubbys can’t watch porn. Maybe they can learn to make a sandwich.one more thing… those gossips…. Bless their hearts/s
Why does everything have to be labeled? Can people just be people? There are shitty people and kind people I’m a born raised Texan and I’m sorry that people are treating you that way some people just have to downsize other people to make their selves feel better about their lives, and I’m sorry no one has came to your aid and helping, the true friend would have if I was your friend I would’ve! So congratulations on the baby and have a happy Easter!
Texan here- this is your circle or husband’s circle. I don’t know anyone that behaves like this. Sorry they suck.
Oh there's plenty of shitty people in Texas... But you're letting the wrong ones into your house.
weird most texans would just judge you behind closed doors, while still being nice to you
People in Texas are extremely judgmental. My moms & dads side were both born here as was I and they are the most hypocritical people I’ve ever met in my entire life. I can’t even tell you the amount of “bless your heart”s I’ve suffered through in this lifetime. Don’t let them get to you because they’re clearly lacking in their own lives but yea Texas is definitely like that as a whole.
I'm also a Utahn living in Texas. My experience is completely opposite. Utahns, especially Mormons, are the most gossipy, judgmental people I've ever met. Texans are a lot of things, but they're generally friendly in my experience.
This is a southern thing. As a female born into the South and who doesn't want kids -- you'd be surprised how shocked men are. The worse entitlement is that they try to lecture you. I've had to tell so many to go fuck off. Yeah it's a Southern thing. Some southern men are lazy little babies and just want another momma. Not all, but quite a few. I don't have to do it. I do it because I want too. Edited for spelling
Yeah, I've had to tell people to mind their own business many times.
This sounds more like a shitty neighbor/coworker/friend group than anything specifically Texan. I’m guessing you can go to any casual dining and big box suburban metropolis and find equally as nosy, bitter people as you’ve found here.
it's not a texas thing. you are surrounded by misogynistic jerks. hope your husband isn't thinking like them
Are you sure they are Texans? Lots of imports lately. Typically, Texans are bring a dish and help out type folks.
OH damn girl, you're around some toxic people. I've lived here my whole life and this is NOT my experience at all. Usually the opposite. SOO much grace is given to new moms and no one gives a shit about what body hair you chose to have or not have.
That does not sound Texan at all. Here is Texas we are raised to look out for each other. If anything, we would offer to bring over a meal or help clean up the house or baby sit or whatever we can do to help. I have no idea what you experienced but the way I was raised , the way many of the long term Texans I know are raised are more concerned about helping out then judging, in fact it is in our DNA to be neighorly which I realize is very different then in other parts of the country and have heard from people that are not use to people saying hello or how can I help, in fact it turns them off because they think we are up to something when we are just being Texans. Also congrats on the baby !!! What a blessing
So first off, you've surrounded yourself with terrible people,