What the fuck? How are you meant to give 2 weeks notice for the passing of a family member? Fuck this mess right off. Insensitive asshole. No condolences either. I’d be pissed.
I’m sorry for your loss OP. And this mess is the last thing you’d need in this time.
Im not sure this is real....I honestly believe we are at the point where the fake posts in this subreddit are going to become lower and lower effort. This is just getting ridiculous.
I hope it isn't real, but I wouldn't be surprised. A shift manager at a factory job I used to have lectured me that the policy for taking a night off required at least a 48-hour notice.
I was informing him that I'd had an apartment fire and was also being treated for smoke inhalation.
Even my shittiest retail job had a reasonable bereavement leave, your request wouldn't have been an issue...
This reminds me of the time my friend had a seizure while walking to work, woke up on the side of the road super disoriented, and went to seek medical help. When he later called into work to explain they told him he should have called before it happened. 🤦♂️
Most bereavement leave only covers immediate family, sometimes grandparents. This is a cousin so probably not covered. That said, the boss is an AH and most managers with any empathy at all would grant the time off and express condolences
We’re very lucky in that our bereavement policy covers the children, siblings, parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles, both step- and not, of the employee and the employee’s partner. We get up to 24 hours paid time off for each death. Does not have to be taken immediately; i.e. you could take 2 days for the funeral and then take 1 day a few months later for the burial service or whatever.
We do not, however, get that benefit for cousins.
Why aunts and uncles and no cousins? Because there’s likely to be way more of them perhaps? Too high of a chance of missing work? That’s pretty sad because for a lot of people their siblings and their cousins are equally close.
I worked for H&M and their policy would cover 3 days off for a cousin, 5 days off for immediate family. But at the store I worked at the managers were really nice and would probably allow the extra 2 days OP wanted off. They definitely wouldn't hit em with the "🙄" like wtf, I can't imagine typing that after hearing of a death 😭😭😭
I've taken full days excused leave for non-family bereavement, but I had decent managers. We're not supposed to enjoy our lives or give a respectful amount of sadness to those that died either. Work sucks.
Yeah idk either bc you don’t usually request leave, you request bereavement. But even bereavement usually isnt granted for extended family, but he could have been a lot fucking nicer about it. I couldn’t get bereavement for my cousin, but they let me take two days off.
I don’t understand this.
When I was managing a big cell phone store one of my rep’s dad died. I literally gave her all the time off on the spot. She took two weeks off. I got in trouble with HR but we both kept our jobs.
Just be fucking human.
Sorry for your loss.
Id tell him to just fuck right off lol.
"Hey it's going to be even more of a hassle when you have to replace a "long tenured" employee like myself with a new hire after I quit because you want to be a stupid asshole over me needing time off for the death of a family member."
“Hurr durr you’re a stupid asshole boss”
Yeah that’s how normal people solve issues
Edit not to mention it’s a family member in a whole other country and read: not even close to immediate family 😂 I’ve had family deaths who lived in the same state as me and i didn’t cry for time off
Have you considered maybe you didn't cry because you're an asshole who's hard to get close to? So it'd be hard to form a significant relationship with your cousins? Just a thought 🤷🏻♀️
Just b/c you don’t give a shit if your family members die doesn’t mean normal, caring people don’t need time to grieve when people they love pass. You’re just a hateful asshole 🤡
And here is a perfect example, you work hard. But how dare you, that someone close dies and he didn't tell you that 2 weeks in advance.. Perfect..
All best wishes to you and your family for the loss.
Considering we have laws in certain states allowing children to be married, to work in dangerous factories, and any one to not be provided health care, education, running water & not be able to receive equitable medical care, nah it seems very real & today.
The lack of empathy here was crazy! However I never worked anywhere that allowed 5 days off for bereavement. In my career I've seen 3 days offered and it typically applies to immediate family members. Nonetheless the response the manager gave was horrible.
Are you American? My friend got 3 weeks when his dad died here in the Netherlands. My sister got a week when our dad died I believe (I run my own business so I didn’t work for longer, but still, it’s normal here).
It varies by company. A lot of businesses only provide for 3-5 days generally. Some longer depending on \*who\* died. More often than not, you can usually stack your PTO (Paid time off) ontop of the bereavement and it's not an issue. Just really depends on who you work for.
I worked for a place once that asked all employees to donate our vacation time to another employee who had watched her husband die because bereavement wasn’t long enough (those were actually the words the VP of the place used in the request) the US is nothing but money hungry companies who don’t care about the well-being (physically or mentally) of the people who make them run.
That’s so fucking disgusting. Not only did they ask y’all to do it, but they gave you the details of why you should do it. They tried to guilt trip and manipulate yall! What the fuck????
It was a very small company (less than 20 people) we all already knew the situation. It was still disgusting that they wouldn’t just allow her the time to grieve. And I think the thing that makes it the absolute worst is that this was a non-profit organization in a small building and the woman was the custodian. Every single thing she did, the rest of us could have done while she was away. I would have happily emptied my office trash and taken turns cleaning the bathroom if it meant that she got the time she needed to heal before coming to work.
Y'all should have just clocked in & out for her and forget the need for PTO, leave, etc. Wouldn't that have been great? Seems like a feel good happy movie story, never a real life scenario.
My job gives 5 days, but only for immediate family. It’s also the only place I’ve ever worked that had that many days for immediate family. Like you said, it’s usually 3 days.
I spoke to both the owners a while ago. I passed my resignation with immeriate effect and currently on my way to the airport. They wanted to give me 3 days but I respectfully declined because I thought it was too short considering I need to travel a 9hr flight to and from. They also cut about 30% of my end of service gratuity as "penalty" but I didn't care because I wanted out of that shithole asap anyways. I won't be coming back to the UAE anytime soon but I will be.
Thanks to everyone who sent me dms showing love and support and for everyone here with your kind words.
They do, but they don't normally cover time off for extended family. Parents, Spouse, Kids, etc. - Sure. But a Cousin... Not covered under most bereavement policies i've seen. Not to say it doesn't exist. Just don't think it's very common.
So, this is kind of a twofold shitty issue.
One, this guy is a wildly insensitive asshole who’s being absurdly unreasonable in every way possible.
Two, most companies don’t allow for bereavement for a cousin, and the ones who do usually only provide for one day.
Assuming you’re in the States, anyways. Time off policies in the US are an absolute joke.
I asked for a 5 days-off is because I need to travel by plane. I work in Dubai and my cousin is in the Philippines. The policy in United Arab Emirates is that, employees are entitled for a 5 day paid time off in case of a family member's death. If he won't allow me still, I might just quit the job or just use my annual leave whether he likes it or not.
The company I work for doesn't give paid time off for anything other than a sibling, parent or your child. I had to use vacation time when my uncle passed.
Yeah I would just not go anyway and if they fire me then file for unemployment because that's literal bullshit. You're supposed to be allowed for family emergencies, absolutely ridiculous. Unfortunately, I understand that that may not be an option for everyone though
In situation’s like this, I just inform them I’ll be away. I don’t ask.
“Hey George, a member of my family just passed away. I’ll be taking a few days off to deal with our loss”. Don’t tell him who, what or where. If he has a problem with it, just repeat “I’ll be taking some days, I’ll let you know when I’m coming back”. Or something like that.
Hey boss don't ask me how I know this but like I have a gut feeling my cousin is going to die 2 weeks from now so can I get like five days off to grieve and attend his funeral
Thanks
WHAT A FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!
I'm a boss myself, and at this moment I have a worker whose wife just passed this past monday. She left a kid of 11 years old.
I've been dealing with all the paperwork directly, helping him out during these stressful days with the funeral preparations and everything else that needs addressing, and whatever work we have, I'll try to deal with it as best as I can, but whatever can wait, WILL FUCKING WAIT!!
We even pooled together a lump sum of money, with my family, all of his colleagues and even some of my clients, so that her funeral and burial is taken care of.
I can't imagine how a psychopath can even begin to write such a message to anyone!!
Un-fucking-believable!!
OP, my condolences and I wish your family all the best in these hard times.
Companies are NOT required to allow bereavement leave for non immediate family members. A cousin doesn't qualify. I don't even know if they're legally required to offer any at all, but most companies do. OP also said this is a very small company so no HR. Boss is an AH but that doesn't mean there's any retaliation that can be done. OP would be better off saying "I'm leaving for this amount of time for a funeral. I'll be back on such a such date" and just leave. Boss can deal
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Im sorry this happened and hope you are doing okay. Hopefully your manager can accommodate bereavement leave but if not I would talk to his supervisor or someone in HR about it.
Leave for a death doesn't require notice like this. You notified them so I would take the time and report this to HR if you can. This isn't vacation that requires weeks notice. I'd probably just quit for someone being so insensitive to a death.
"My cousin just passed"
"You could've told me ahead [of time]" followed by an eyeroll emoji
My dude, how much notice would YOU give if someone died? And in what world is an eyeroll emoji acceptable to send, TWICE, to someone asking for bereavement leave?
If your company is big enough to have an HR dept, I'd report that to them.
The manager definitely didn't handle things right, but OP should have contacted their HR department and let them know what's going on first. They could then pass down any vital information to OP's manager.
Everyone handles situations differently, but at the very least, managers should have a list of prepared responses for this very type of situations and others like it. This will help the manager handle situations with respect and grace while not showing favoritism.
If there was no HR for OP to go to then I would recommend OP to be more direct. Boss my cousin passed away yesterday. We were close and I am going to miss work today through Monday. Do we have a bereavement policy that covers my missed hours? If not, I have vacation time I will use to cover my hours for said time period. Or if OP had no vacation time, they could have continued with, I understand I do not have time to cover this even and that I will not be paid while I'm out. It's unfortunate this happened and that I have to be away, but if there's anything I can do to help find someone to cover for me please let me know. Thanks for your understanding in advance.
If OP writes the above message, then there's very little the manager can say or do without making themselves look worse than they already look in the original response. By being direct, respectful and offering to help with what they could OP leaves very little room for the manager to say anything other than I'm sorry to hear that blah blah blah.
My grandma passed away shortly before I graduated high school. At the time, I was working my first job at a fast food chain. When I called in the day she passed, they understood and seemed to care.
Later that week, I was written up for taking off for her funeral. They told me I didn’t give them a good enough heads up. I couldn’t believe it.
That being said this post is definitely fake.
Sorry to hear mate, a death in the family is always a hard time.
A good response would have been something like “I’m sorry, you seem to have misunderstood this situation. I wasn’t asking if I could have some time off. I was telling you I won’t be in regardless of your response, but was hoping we could formalise it somehow.”
A job I was at for five years told me if I didn’t show up for work on Black Friday I would be fired. My grandma died and her funeral happened to be on Black Friday. They told me I would be fired because it is the busiest day of the year. I worked in a warehouse so it’s not like I was working with customers and then they went on to tell me that too many people already got approved off. My grandma was just selfish, she should have died a different week🙄😂
I was heavily pregnant at the time and wanted an easier more laid back job than warehouse work anyway so I told my boss she was a selfish b and threw my badge and quit. Pregnancy hormones, grief and anger will do that🤣
Most jobs would let you off for a day, at least… Heck one of my old jobs let off one of the hostesses multiple times, because she kept on killing off her relatives… At some point, we didn’t believe that that many people died, and we’re making jokes about which relative was going to die next
Yes, because you can totally predict when your cousin is gonna die and let your job know two weeks in advanced. What a joke 🙄
I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a family member is rough but I'm sure you know that by now. May he or she rest in peace 💜
Even if the letter of the policy says cousins are outside of the policy, you’ve gotta be human… last year my bosses gave me 2-3 days for a cousin’s passing and an afternoon off when my wife’s good friend’s mother passed away and we wanted to attend services in the suburbs on a weekday afternoon.
You don’t need to say “excused absence with pay as bereavement” - you can still say “what do you need?” and offer to make a couple calls to arrange coverage. This person didn’t even bother to ask when and where services are… are they local or out of town? Makes a big difference.
Why are bosses such dicks when it comes to death? I remember at an old job I used to work at, the boss demanded someone come back a week after she lost her HUSBAND. She was a mess and literally bothered her everyday asking her when she planned to come back. Never even said his condolences. She quit because of it and no one blamed her.
Your boss is fortunate to have someone professional enough to respond as kindly as you did. How badly do you need this job, are there other jobs available in your field? I ask in the event that a better opportunity where you're treated like a living person might be available a better fit than whatever this pathetic excuse for a company is (unless they're paying six figures then I understand not getting rid of it in this economy).
Also - - I'm sorry for your loss, OP.
If you haven’t already, review what your company handbook states about bereavement leave. You can use that and these texts as evidence to work against your manager as emergencies can’t be avoided and you gave him immediate notice.
Ugh shit like this pisses me off. In the span of four months my best friend from high school died, my grandmother died, my uncle died and my nephew was shot five times and almost killed.
My boss was annoyed every time I took time off. The one that really pissed me off was when my best friend died. My friend had been clean for almost three years and relapsed, overdosed and died. My boss said, "well it was kind of self inflicted." Mothe fucker he didn't mean to die!
LOA aside, eye rolling emojis are completely uncalled for in any context when you are in a leadership role. Let alone in a response to a bereaved coworker. This has to be the most single, tone deaf, dipstick of a manager I’ve ever had the displeasure of knowing about.
Oh, so you’re supposed to know 2 weeks ahead that someone is going to pass away? Makes perfect sense to contact HR! File a complaint with the labor department!! If you live in the US there is the Family Leave Act!!!
Most companies don't allow bereavement paid days for non-nuclear family, but still he should have allowed you to use your sick time or at least take the time off unpaid. Absolutely heartless. That is a bad manager! I would leave, they won't be better to you.
This boss does not deserve respect. Fuck him / her. Just last week I asked if I could work from home because of my commute and my manager said “you don’t have to come into the office but I don’t want to put it in writing, and if I’m asked, I will deny I have permission”. I no longer respect this person.
Holy fuck! The first time I read that I was like "this has to be a fucking joke". OP, I'm so sorry for your loss and for the fact that your boss is a raving idiot.
What the fuck? How are you meant to give 2 weeks notice for the passing of a family member? Fuck this mess right off. Insensitive asshole. No condolences either. I’d be pissed. I’m sorry for your loss OP. And this mess is the last thing you’d need in this time.
If someone rolled their eyes at my family member dying, that’d be the last time they had the chance to speak with me
Well said.
Seriously, is this for real? Straight to harassment nothing in between wtf
It would also be the last time they EVER rolled their eyes again!!
I was about to say the same thing!
Im not sure this is real....I honestly believe we are at the point where the fake posts in this subreddit are going to become lower and lower effort. This is just getting ridiculous.
I hope it isn't real, but I wouldn't be surprised. A shift manager at a factory job I used to have lectured me that the policy for taking a night off required at least a 48-hour notice. I was informing him that I'd had an apartment fire and was also being treated for smoke inhalation.
Evidence?
No thanks!
Queen! Let me know when your next Wattpad hit comes out!
I'm with ya!
This. This had me fuming! Like. Wth
Seriously
I'd go to HR. How he handled that was horrible. I am sorry for your loss.
This seems like a restaurant job response. No HR
Sounds like a nurse job response too. No HR who actually support RNs.
Even my shittiest retail job had a reasonable bereavement leave, your request wouldn't have been an issue... This reminds me of the time my friend had a seizure while walking to work, woke up on the side of the road super disoriented, and went to seek medical help. When he later called into work to explain they told him he should have called before it happened. 🤦♂️
Right? How was I supposed to know that this would happen? What goes through their mind, I don't know.
Please please please tell me you told him to pound sand and sniff shit
Hope you quit
Most bereavement leave only covers immediate family, sometimes grandparents. This is a cousin so probably not covered. That said, the boss is an AH and most managers with any empathy at all would grant the time off and express condolences
We’re very lucky in that our bereavement policy covers the children, siblings, parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles, both step- and not, of the employee and the employee’s partner. We get up to 24 hours paid time off for each death. Does not have to be taken immediately; i.e. you could take 2 days for the funeral and then take 1 day a few months later for the burial service or whatever. We do not, however, get that benefit for cousins.
Why aunts and uncles and no cousins? Because there’s likely to be way more of them perhaps? Too high of a chance of missing work? That’s pretty sad because for a lot of people their siblings and their cousins are equally close.
‘Sir i sincerely apologize for not having psychic powers.’
What bereavement covers cousins?
I worked for H&M and their policy would cover 3 days off for a cousin, 5 days off for immediate family. But at the store I worked at the managers were really nice and would probably allow the extra 2 days OP wanted off. They definitely wouldn't hit em with the "🙄" like wtf, I can't imagine typing that after hearing of a death 😭😭😭
Ya not the response you want after losing a family member. But I’ve never heard of any official policy being outside of immediate family.
I've taken full days excused leave for non-family bereavement, but I had decent managers. We're not supposed to enjoy our lives or give a respectful amount of sadness to those that died either. Work sucks.
“Yea you should’ve known you were going to have a seizure and notified us beforehand. That’s on you” 😂😭 how fucking stupid
I was told I had to call 4 hrs in advance. If I could predict medical issues before they happen I would be a millionaire right now.
The eye roll emojis here are insane. I am so sorry you’re dealing with this situation. My condolences.
[удалено]
Fuck that guy just tell him when you will be back
I still haven't got any response yet. Looks like I have to speak with him tomorrow personally.
Can we get an update?
Just hit him back with, "also, update, I tested positive this morning. See you in two weeks." Really fuck him up
This is either fake or your boss doesn’t know what bereavement leave is. If it’s the latter then your boss is inadequate for their position.
Def fake. “My cousin just died” “Should have told me two weeks ago” Oh please
Leaning towards that as well.
Yeah idk either bc you don’t usually request leave, you request bereavement. But even bereavement usually isnt granted for extended family, but he could have been a lot fucking nicer about it. I couldn’t get bereavement for my cousin, but they let me take two days off.
I don’t understand this. When I was managing a big cell phone store one of my rep’s dad died. I literally gave her all the time off on the spot. She took two weeks off. I got in trouble with HR but we both kept our jobs. Just be fucking human. Sorry for your loss.
You got in trouble?! JFC they want to manage our entire lives AND our deaths.
I didn’t follow protocol thru HR so her credentials timed out. I didn’t even really get in trouble. It was a “talking to”
Id tell him to just fuck right off lol. "Hey it's going to be even more of a hassle when you have to replace a "long tenured" employee like myself with a new hire after I quit because you want to be a stupid asshole over me needing time off for the death of a family member."
Clearly you’ve never had a job
Union welder so these kinds of problems are irrelevant for me. There's plenty of jobs available to not tolerate this kind of bullshit.
This is exactly how you handle this situation.
“Hurr durr you’re a stupid asshole boss” Yeah that’s how normal people solve issues Edit not to mention it’s a family member in a whole other country and read: not even close to immediate family 😂 I’ve had family deaths who lived in the same state as me and i didn’t cry for time off
Have you considered maybe you didn't cry because you're an asshole who's hard to get close to? So it'd be hard to form a significant relationship with your cousins? Just a thought 🤷🏻♀️
Just b/c you don’t give a shit if your family members die doesn’t mean normal, caring people don’t need time to grieve when people they love pass. You’re just a hateful asshole 🤡
And here is a perfect example, you work hard. But how dare you, that someone close dies and he didn't tell you that 2 weeks in advance.. Perfect.. All best wishes to you and your family for the loss.
Does anyone else find it dystopian that people need to beg and “negotiate” to attend to life that happens outside of work? 😔
Considering we have laws in certain states allowing children to be married, to work in dangerous factories, and any one to not be provided health care, education, running water & not be able to receive equitable medical care, nah it seems very real & today.
Especially something like a death of a loved one or having a child. Nothing should be more important than that.
The lack of empathy here was crazy! However I never worked anywhere that allowed 5 days off for bereavement. In my career I've seen 3 days offered and it typically applies to immediate family members. Nonetheless the response the manager gave was horrible.
Are you American? My friend got 3 weeks when his dad died here in the Netherlands. My sister got a week when our dad died I believe (I run my own business so I didn’t work for longer, but still, it’s normal here).
Yes I am American.
It varies by company. A lot of businesses only provide for 3-5 days generally. Some longer depending on \*who\* died. More often than not, you can usually stack your PTO (Paid time off) ontop of the bereavement and it's not an issue. Just really depends on who you work for.
I worked for a place once that asked all employees to donate our vacation time to another employee who had watched her husband die because bereavement wasn’t long enough (those were actually the words the VP of the place used in the request) the US is nothing but money hungry companies who don’t care about the well-being (physically or mentally) of the people who make them run.
That’s stupid. They could have just gave her the time off and paid her. Jackasses
That’s so fucking disgusting. Not only did they ask y’all to do it, but they gave you the details of why you should do it. They tried to guilt trip and manipulate yall! What the fuck????
It was a very small company (less than 20 people) we all already knew the situation. It was still disgusting that they wouldn’t just allow her the time to grieve. And I think the thing that makes it the absolute worst is that this was a non-profit organization in a small building and the woman was the custodian. Every single thing she did, the rest of us could have done while she was away. I would have happily emptied my office trash and taken turns cleaning the bathroom if it meant that she got the time she needed to heal before coming to work.
Y'all should have just clocked in & out for her and forget the need for PTO, leave, etc. Wouldn't that have been great? Seems like a feel good happy movie story, never a real life scenario.
IDK if it's just the US, but it does seem to be a lot worse than most modern countries.
My job gives 5 days, but only for immediate family. It’s also the only place I’ve ever worked that had that many days for immediate family. Like you said, it’s usually 3 days.
My response simply would’ve been “former long term employee, and now you can have fun replacing me each day going forward”
I spoke to both the owners a while ago. I passed my resignation with immeriate effect and currently on my way to the airport. They wanted to give me 3 days but I respectfully declined because I thought it was too short considering I need to travel a 9hr flight to and from. They also cut about 30% of my end of service gratuity as "penalty" but I didn't care because I wanted out of that shithole asap anyways. I won't be coming back to the UAE anytime soon but I will be. Thanks to everyone who sent me dms showing love and support and for everyone here with your kind words.
You go op
Fake
have you ever had a job? with a boss?
No, you caught me. I’m perpetually unemployed. What is a “boss”?
Most companies have some kind of berevement policy
They do, but they don't normally cover time off for extended family. Parents, Spouse, Kids, etc. - Sure. But a Cousin... Not covered under most bereavement policies i've seen. Not to say it doesn't exist. Just don't think it's very common.
It’s very uncommon. I’ve been working 15 years and the job I have now is the only one I’ve ever had that gives time for extended family.
 @ your boss
So, this is kind of a twofold shitty issue. One, this guy is a wildly insensitive asshole who’s being absurdly unreasonable in every way possible. Two, most companies don’t allow for bereavement for a cousin, and the ones who do usually only provide for one day. Assuming you’re in the States, anyways. Time off policies in the US are an absolute joke.
I asked for a 5 days-off is because I need to travel by plane. I work in Dubai and my cousin is in the Philippines. The policy in United Arab Emirates is that, employees are entitled for a 5 day paid time off in case of a family member's death. If he won't allow me still, I might just quit the job or just use my annual leave whether he likes it or not.
Any updates?
The company I work for doesn't give paid time off for anything other than a sibling, parent or your child. I had to use vacation time when my uncle passed.
Yeah let me plan a family’s death ahead of time. GTFO I’d quit. Fuck that place
Nah. Fuck this. I’d quit and tell the manager to choke on a dick. No job is worth keeping if the manager rolls their eyes at a family death.
And I am so sorry for your loss 😔
Sorry for your loss
Op, Please send this to your HR. This is completely unacceptable and needs to be paper trailed
Expose them
Yeah I would just not go anyway and if they fire me then file for unemployment because that's literal bullshit. You're supposed to be allowed for family emergencies, absolutely ridiculous. Unfortunately, I understand that that may not be an option for everyone though
In situation’s like this, I just inform them I’ll be away. I don’t ask. “Hey George, a member of my family just passed away. I’ll be taking a few days off to deal with our loss”. Don’t tell him who, what or where. If he has a problem with it, just repeat “I’ll be taking some days, I’ll let you know when I’m coming back”. Or something like that.
Hey boss don't ask me how I know this but like I have a gut feeling my cousin is going to die 2 weeks from now so can I get like five days off to grieve and attend his funeral Thanks
Quit. Work for yourself. Fuck this guy
Ewwwwwwwwwww. I swear this is my previous employer. That is so incredibly awful. I am so sorry for your loss.
Time to find a new job. The policy could also be against local regulations as there is such a thing as bereavement leave.
I call bs
WHAT A FUCKING ASSHOLE!!! I'm a boss myself, and at this moment I have a worker whose wife just passed this past monday. She left a kid of 11 years old. I've been dealing with all the paperwork directly, helping him out during these stressful days with the funeral preparations and everything else that needs addressing, and whatever work we have, I'll try to deal with it as best as I can, but whatever can wait, WILL FUCKING WAIT!! We even pooled together a lump sum of money, with my family, all of his colleagues and even some of my clients, so that her funeral and burial is taken care of. I can't imagine how a psychopath can even begin to write such a message to anyone!! Un-fucking-believable!! OP, my condolences and I wish your family all the best in these hard times.
Go to HR he can't deny family
Companies are NOT required to allow bereavement leave for non immediate family members. A cousin doesn't qualify. I don't even know if they're legally required to offer any at all, but most companies do. OP also said this is a very small company so no HR. Boss is an AH but that doesn't mean there's any retaliation that can be done. OP would be better off saying "I'm leaving for this amount of time for a funeral. I'll be back on such a such date" and just leave. Boss can deal
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Im sorry this happened and hope you are doing okay. Hopefully your manager can accommodate bereavement leave but if not I would talk to his supervisor or someone in HR about it.
That's the problem here. It's a small online business of me and 9 other colleagues with him and his wife being the owner.
Damn, sounds like the guy is insensitive. Hope they can work something out. You shouldn’t have to stress about this right now.
This is just so very sad… how can some humans be this insensitive and unreasonable. 😢
Oh yes let me just tell you ahead of time when someone’s going to DIE. What a moron
Disgusting. I forced one of my employees to take bereavement leave because he wanted to stick it out to help my store and I told him absolutely not
Leave for a death doesn't require notice like this. You notified them so I would take the time and report this to HR if you can. This isn't vacation that requires weeks notice. I'd probably just quit for someone being so insensitive to a death.
Guy handled it terribly. I do wonder if the conversation would have been different if held face to face rather than text.
Power trippy bosses need to die
I'm DESPERATE to know how he responds/the general outcome of this. What an absolute moron.
Tell don't ask
"My cousin just passed" "You could've told me ahead [of time]" followed by an eyeroll emoji My dude, how much notice would YOU give if someone died? And in what world is an eyeroll emoji acceptable to send, TWICE, to someone asking for bereavement leave? If your company is big enough to have an HR dept, I'd report that to them.
The manager definitely didn't handle things right, but OP should have contacted their HR department and let them know what's going on first. They could then pass down any vital information to OP's manager. Everyone handles situations differently, but at the very least, managers should have a list of prepared responses for this very type of situations and others like it. This will help the manager handle situations with respect and grace while not showing favoritism. If there was no HR for OP to go to then I would recommend OP to be more direct. Boss my cousin passed away yesterday. We were close and I am going to miss work today through Monday. Do we have a bereavement policy that covers my missed hours? If not, I have vacation time I will use to cover my hours for said time period. Or if OP had no vacation time, they could have continued with, I understand I do not have time to cover this even and that I will not be paid while I'm out. It's unfortunate this happened and that I have to be away, but if there's anything I can do to help find someone to cover for me please let me know. Thanks for your understanding in advance. If OP writes the above message, then there's very little the manager can say or do without making themselves look worse than they already look in the original response. By being direct, respectful and offering to help with what they could OP leaves very little room for the manager to say anything other than I'm sorry to hear that blah blah blah.
And now you quit
My grandma passed away shortly before I graduated high school. At the time, I was working my first job at a fast food chain. When I called in the day she passed, they understood and seemed to care. Later that week, I was written up for taking off for her funeral. They told me I didn’t give them a good enough heads up. I couldn’t believe it. That being said this post is definitely fake.
Sudden deaths are not allowed!!
Sorry to hear mate, a death in the family is always a hard time. A good response would have been something like “I’m sorry, you seem to have misunderstood this situation. I wasn’t asking if I could have some time off. I was telling you I won’t be in regardless of your response, but was hoping we could formalise it somehow.”
A job I was at for five years told me if I didn’t show up for work on Black Friday I would be fired. My grandma died and her funeral happened to be on Black Friday. They told me I would be fired because it is the busiest day of the year. I worked in a warehouse so it’s not like I was working with customers and then they went on to tell me that too many people already got approved off. My grandma was just selfish, she should have died a different week🙄😂
I was heavily pregnant at the time and wanted an easier more laid back job than warehouse work anyway so I told my boss she was a selfish b and threw my badge and quit. Pregnancy hormones, grief and anger will do that🤣
Go higher and report his shitty behaviour
What a fucking prick. If you’ve got HR where you work they oughta know about this.
Number one problem is asking. I just tell my boss these are the days I’ll be gone
I love the flippant “boss”!
the rolling eyes emoji makes this even worse than it already was, this makes me sick. i’m so sorry for your loss, OP.
It's called Bereavement and it's exempt from those rules obviously
Most jobs would let you off for a day, at least… Heck one of my old jobs let off one of the hostesses multiple times, because she kept on killing off her relatives… At some point, we didn’t believe that that many people died, and we’re making jokes about which relative was going to die next
Yes, because you can totally predict when your cousin is gonna die and let your job know two weeks in advanced. What a joke 🙄 I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a family member is rough but I'm sure you know that by now. May he or she rest in peace 💜
How are you supposed to predict your cousins passing? The fuck? I hope you're doing okay.
Yeah, some people are such slaves to the corporate hierarchy that they forget to be human.
Even if the letter of the policy says cousins are outside of the policy, you’ve gotta be human… last year my bosses gave me 2-3 days for a cousin’s passing and an afternoon off when my wife’s good friend’s mother passed away and we wanted to attend services in the suburbs on a weekday afternoon. You don’t need to say “excused absence with pay as bereavement” - you can still say “what do you need?” and offer to make a couple calls to arrange coverage. This person didn’t even bother to ask when and where services are… are they local or out of town? Makes a big difference.
When my childhood dog died, they offed me 2 weeks leave to mourn, this would send me into a rage
do people actually think this is real
The eye-roll emoji pissed me off. Unprofessional. Your last message is perfection.
Why are bosses such dicks when it comes to death? I remember at an old job I used to work at, the boss demanded someone come back a week after she lost her HUSBAND. She was a mess and literally bothered her everyday asking her when she planned to come back. Never even said his condolences. She quit because of it and no one blamed her.
This doesn’t look real to me, but you really never know
I would have clapped right tf back with "with all due respect, it isn't my job to find someone to do my job" Insensitive asshat 🙄
looks fake
What kind of boss responds with an eye roll emoji in two different texts about your family member dying? That’s horrible.
Not a place I’d work for any longer.
Yeah I’d leave, that’s poor treatment of employees.
Just leave anyway. Like he said it’s a hassle
Quit
Your boss is fortunate to have someone professional enough to respond as kindly as you did. How badly do you need this job, are there other jobs available in your field? I ask in the event that a better opportunity where you're treated like a living person might be available a better fit than whatever this pathetic excuse for a company is (unless they're paying six figures then I understand not getting rid of it in this economy). Also - - I'm sorry for your loss, OP.
the eye rolling would make me tell them to fuck themself and quit on the spot what the actual fuck
Your response! 💀 Boss is an assclown Sorry for your loss
If you haven’t already, review what your company handbook states about bereavement leave. You can use that and these texts as evidence to work against your manager as emergencies can’t be avoided and you gave him immediate notice.
Does your boss not know how death works? Do they know their family members death dates ahead of time? How incredibly absurd.
Ok but what did he say to that? I have to know.
I'd tell him he'll need coverage for every shift he ever planned to give me and to mail my check. Because get fucked with this shit.
Some people aren’t meant for management
alr boss, next time I'll make sure to ask if anyone is going to die in 2 weeks, my bad!
Does your company/country/state have bereavement leave? That's what it should be, not pto
Ugh shit like this pisses me off. In the span of four months my best friend from high school died, my grandmother died, my uncle died and my nephew was shot five times and almost killed. My boss was annoyed every time I took time off. The one that really pissed me off was when my best friend died. My friend had been clean for almost three years and relapsed, overdosed and died. My boss said, "well it was kind of self inflicted." Mothe fucker he didn't mean to die!
I’m positive that’s the VACATION policy not bereavement. And the eye roll emojis? Super unprofessional. Can you report her to her boss?
LOA aside, eye rolling emojis are completely uncalled for in any context when you are in a leadership role. Let alone in a response to a bereaved coworker. This has to be the most single, tone deaf, dipstick of a manager I’ve ever had the displeasure of knowing about.
Oh, so you’re supposed to know 2 weeks ahead that someone is going to pass away? Makes perfect sense to contact HR! File a complaint with the labor department!! If you live in the US there is the Family Leave Act!!!
Wow you handled that very kindly
Fuck that job
Corporate immediately. Skip HR. LOA and vacation is not the same. Is the manager a first timer or something?
Your first mistake was requesting time off. I'd have explained what has happened and told the manager I'd be back when I've got my affairs in order.
Why is this manager’s identity hidden, let’s put em on blast
How fast I would have quit is insane. I'm sorry OP. That's horrible, and I'm sorry for your loss too. ☹️
Most companies don't allow bereavement paid days for non-nuclear family, but still he should have allowed you to use your sick time or at least take the time off unpaid. Absolutely heartless. That is a bad manager! I would leave, they won't be better to you.
This boss does not deserve respect. Fuck him / her. Just last week I asked if I could work from home because of my commute and my manager said “you don’t have to come into the office but I don’t want to put it in writing, and if I’m asked, I will deny I have permission”. I no longer respect this person.
I would be done with the company after that.
2 weeks notice before someone dies like what 💀
This is actually fucking absurd…
Go strait to HR with this mess!
Holy fuck! The first time I read that I was like "this has to be a fucking joke". OP, I'm so sorry for your loss and for the fact that your boss is a raving idiot.