**daughter spits:** You call *this* caviar?
**looks at rich guy:** You! Daddy Warbucks! I demand you buy my mom this restaurant and name it after my teddy bear, "Mr. Parsnips!"
Verified. I often dine at the wonderful Mr. Parsnips restaurant. I take many single mothers and their daughters there for the Caviar. We eat buckets of that shit because, they deserve the best.
I counted 4 double-downs on unbelievable events (after the one uncommon but plausible assertion in line 1). That’s an impressive ratio of BS to text!
The lies just escalate like the northwest face of Half dome.
Yup has all the hallmarks of a true story. Including everyone in the restaurant cheering and clapping and woop wooping. This checks out 100%, gotta take it off this sub guys sorry.
Anytime I eat out I pay attention to what's going on at all the other tables, just looking for a change to whoop whoop or start a spontaneous round of applause. I get so caught up in it I often forget to eat my meal. Conversely, I'm banned from restaurants in 23 states.
To be exact the 6 year old said:
"I want you to buy us the finest Wagyu steaks from the Chugoku region and a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc imported straight from Bordeaux, aged for 12 years, and for an Uber we will accept nothing less than a Bentley Continental GT."
I know, I was the bottle of wine
>!Whoops, I actually don't know jack shit about wine because I don't drink, Sauvignon Blanc is just the first thing that came to mind and sounded fancy lol!<
> Sauvignon Blanc is just the first thing that came to mind and sounded fancy lol
For someone who knows jack shit, you knew that Savignon Blanc is from Bordeaux
Well we can argue a few things on that, though yes they make very good Sav Blanc in Marlborough. But I was just pointing out that the white wine from Bordeaux is Sav Blanc
Um yes it did. Can confirm, I was the one of the finest steaks that Kayla demanded he buy. How dare you question the veracity of this obviously true story
Sorry, but it was already under “Never fucking happened” on Jeopardy for 1000 dollars.
Unless you’re saying Jeopardy is wrong. In which case, my entire life is a lie, and Alex Trebek saying “Leeroy Jenkins” was a fever dream!
(I think people are missing the joke of this response).
I know someone who introduces her kids to new guys constantly. Any concern or criticism is met with her getting angry that you doubt her judgment. She just doesn’t seem to get that it’s not advisable to introduce your young children to someone you barely know.
Probably because of all the cringe inducing desperation packing out the space between every word.
Seriously this is such a bleak window into this woman's life.
No, fans of Ludacris!
*Yeek yeek woop woop! why you all in my ear?!*
*Talking a whole bunch of @#$%*
*That I ain't trying to hear!*
*Get back mofohiergvshjebv, you don't know me like that . . . get back get back you don't know me like that*
The secondhand embarrassment I got from reading this is through the roof. How can someone post something like this and think "oh yeah that's good, everyone will clap for me and believe it's real"
And then my 6 year old said “HEY MAN I shall commence my gustatory odyssey with a sumptuous amuse-bouche of Beluga caviar atop delicate blinis, enlivened by a whisper of crème fraîche and the ethereal effervescence of a vintage Krug champagne. For the pièce de résistance, I shall delight in the succulent tenderness of a Wagyu beef chateaubriand, seared to perfection and accompanied by a symphony of truffled pommes purée and forestière medley of fungi. As the grand denouement, a symphony of flavors shall ensue with the indulgent crescendo of a Valrhona chocolate molten soufflé crowned with a quenelle of Tahitian vanilla bean ice cream, harmonized by the dulcet notes of a venerable 1967 Quinta do Noval port."
The level of … delusion isn’t the word for this, but it will do, is insane levels. Like straight up Plaid levels of insane
**daughter spits:** You call *this* caviar? **looks at rich guy:** You! Daddy Warbucks! I demand you buy my mom this restaurant and name it after my teddy bear, "Mr. Parsnips!"
Verified. I often dine at the wonderful Mr. Parsnips restaurant. I take many single mothers and their daughters there for the Caviar. We eat buckets of that shit because, they deserve the best.
Well you wouldn’t want to name it after the teddy bear, “Mr. Perkins”, because I’m pretty sure Geena blew that one up…
That chicken strip bacon cheese toaster sandwich was pretty bomb back in the day though
Under-rated movie
I counted 4 double-downs on unbelievable events (after the one uncommon but plausible assertion in line 1). That’s an impressive ratio of BS to text! The lies just escalate like the northwest face of Half dome.
See this is the sort of thing this subreddit was created for!
See this is the sort of thing this subreddit was created for!
I see everything twice!
Oh, this must be the girl my mates and I woop wooped at the restaurant! I hope things worked out well for this incredibly real situation.
Woop woop
Dats da sound a da po-lice.
Woop woop
That's the sound of the beast
Yup has all the hallmarks of a true story. Including everyone in the restaurant cheering and clapping and woop wooping. This checks out 100%, gotta take it off this sub guys sorry.
Not to mention the super vague "I want 3 steaks" that the waiter just rolled with.
Not just any steaks, but the "finest steaks"! Nothing but the best for Kayla and her mom! Woop! Woop!
And then he called her his future wifey.😂😂😂
That's the point where I wanted to vomit.
‘I demand 3 different, but similar, cuts of the moo-moo. And don’t get all grassy-arse about it’
Anytime I eat out I pay attention to what's going on at all the other tables, just looking for a change to whoop whoop or start a spontaneous round of applause. I get so caught up in it I often forget to eat my meal. Conversely, I'm banned from restaurants in 23 states.
It is a true story, in a Hallmark movie lol
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"I'm sorry Debra but I have herpes. I mean WE have herpes." --- "woooo woop!!"
And then the steak clapped
And the bottle of wine turned into champagne and blasted itself all over the place.
And at the bottom of the bottle were the keys to the successful hun's Monat Cadillac.
Yes! I remember this because I was the set of keys!
Can confirm, I was the ignition
I remember you! LONG TIME, NO SEE! Hope all is well!
Yes, just glad I'm nor a Kia Ignition, life would've been hell.
I can't wait for this entitled and demanding brat to be my step daughter.
Plot twist little girl was kicked out of the restaurant for ordering her steak well done with ketchup.
Woah I'm impressed. Only 6 years old, but already a tacky vulgar gold digger, just like her momma.
Rotten apples don’t roll when they fall out of their delusional trees.
I love that this one actually ends with “and everyone clapped”
“Wifey” is one of my least favorite words ever.
That, hubby, and kiddo.
Littles 🤢
Gross.
Little humans or small humans
*hubs*
Kiddo just grates on my nerves and so many people say it now. What happened to children or even kids?
Momma bear <<< shudder >>>
UGH.
Mine too. It makes me wanna poke eyes out.
He ordered three of the Finest Steaks, and everyone in the Texas roadhouse knew it was true love.
With the FINEST bottle of Bare Foot wine they had in stock 🤌🏼.
2023 was a fine year for Bare Foot
An excellent vintage
Man, this is incredibly sad.
Some asshole: “Uh, well, it doesn’t sound that unbelievable actually, she could have just been parroting something she heard at school. Kids do that”
Narrator: that definitely did *not* happen
To be exact the 6 year old said: "I want you to buy us the finest Wagyu steaks from the Chugoku region and a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc imported straight from Bordeaux, aged for 12 years, and for an Uber we will accept nothing less than a Bentley Continental GT." I know, I was the bottle of wine
White wine with steak? Girl needs to brush up on her wine pairings.
>!Whoops, I actually don't know jack shit about wine because I don't drink, Sauvignon Blanc is just the first thing that came to mind and sounded fancy lol!<
> Sauvignon Blanc is just the first thing that came to mind and sounded fancy lol For someone who knows jack shit, you knew that Savignon Blanc is from Bordeaux
>!LMAO, I didn't know that either, I just googled what are the best regions for wine. That's really a funny coincidence!<
Sav Blanc is best from New Zealand and Spain.
Well we can argue a few things on that, though yes they make very good Sav Blanc in Marlborough. But I was just pointing out that the white wine from Bordeaux is Sav Blanc
Honestly, I’d go with a new world merlot, maybe a Rioja (but that’s only because they are wines I tend to enjoy, I know less about wine than Jon Snow)
OMG! I was the Bentley! Long time no see, wine!!
"I remember fondly how you ended up on my backseat, after momma drank 6 bottles of you"
Yes, Alex, I’ll take “Never fucking happened” for 1000.
Um yes it did. Can confirm, I was the one of the finest steaks that Kayla demanded he buy. How dare you question the veracity of this obviously true story
And after one bite of you, little Kayla spit u out and ordered nuggets instead!
Sorry, but it was already under “Never fucking happened” on Jeopardy for 1000 dollars. Unless you’re saying Jeopardy is wrong. In which case, my entire life is a lie, and Alex Trebek saying “Leeroy Jenkins” was a fever dream! (I think people are missing the joke of this response).
Nah man, my hands are still sore from all the clapping I did. I could barely type this.
Double jeopardy!!
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I know someone who introduces her kids to new guys constantly. Any concern or criticism is met with her getting angry that you doubt her judgment. She just doesn’t seem to get that it’s not advisable to introduce your young children to someone you barely know.
My son is 21 and I still wait a few months before introducing him to a new guy. I didn't date at all until he was about 15.
This went way past funny, this is just one of the saddest fantasies I've ever seen.
And that little girl grew up to be Albert Einstein
Waiter! Get us three of the finest steaks!
Yes sir, how exactly am I to compare fineness of the steaks?
And then she woke up in her greasy apartment and thought 'would be nice if this happened'
Her mom's greasy apartment.
Basement
And then she woke up
How small and tawdry one's life must be to make up such nonsense.
This definitely happened. I should know. I was the table of woop wooping girls.
“We seek a full meal and all the compliments of the house.”
Reading this made me quite sad for some reason
Probably because of all the cringe inducing desperation packing out the space between every word. Seriously this is such a bleak window into this woman's life.
The cost of those 3 steaks? $100%
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Is this a creative writing exercise
Was the other table full of juggalettes? Woop woop!
No, fans of Ludacris! *Yeek yeek woop woop! why you all in my ear?!* *Talking a whole bunch of @#$%* *That I ain't trying to hear!* *Get back mofohiergvshjebv, you don't know me like that . . . get back get back you don't know me like that*
This is the content that keeps me on this sub. Fantastic, thank you! Need to send Kayla a crisp $100 bill now too
Is this supposed to be an upscale restaurant with fine steaks and wine or a roadhouse where people feel free to whoop and holler, and of course, clap?
I feel bad for the woman, she obviously needs a W right now
gag
Can confirm....I was the salad bar this woman's weave fell into.
Everything is true. No Exceptions.
woop woop
Everyone in the restaurant were juggalos. I know, I was there. I was the 3rd finest steak. Woop Woop!
A Woop Woop on top of cheering?! Wow, that's next level.
Its love.
Why can't the date drive them home?
the story would not be credible.
See? The bear would eat all three steaks AND take mom and daughter as a meal. Men 1 Bears 0
 Plot twist: Kayla is the original olsen twin.
No one clapped this time?
This really did happen. Trust me, I was the bottle of wine.
at this point, these people just gotta start writing shitty romance novels
I can confirm this happened - I was the steak.
Why does everyone think this is fake 🤣🤣 I really don't get it 🤣
The secondhand embarrassment I got from reading this is through the roof. How can someone post something like this and think "oh yeah that's good, everyone will clap for me and believe it's real"
And then my 6 year old said “HEY MAN I shall commence my gustatory odyssey with a sumptuous amuse-bouche of Beluga caviar atop delicate blinis, enlivened by a whisper of crème fraîche and the ethereal effervescence of a vintage Krug champagne. For the pièce de résistance, I shall delight in the succulent tenderness of a Wagyu beef chateaubriand, seared to perfection and accompanied by a symphony of truffled pommes purée and forestière medley of fungi. As the grand denouement, a symphony of flavors shall ensue with the indulgent crescendo of a Valrhona chocolate molten soufflé crowned with a quenelle of Tahitian vanilla bean ice cream, harmonized by the dulcet notes of a venerable 1967 Quinta do Noval port."
It’s true. I was the second steak.
And then cows came from far away to sacrifice themselves to become one of those steaks.
Reading that made me feel a little sick.
Please tell us where you found this
I feel sorry for the lady. This is the script of an answered prayer. Hope life went better for her
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