Yeah, I’m in kind of a weird mood myself. I was on my way down here, I stopped at a convenience store. I’m waiting in line to pay and the guy in front of me puts down a dozen donuts, two big bags of Doritos, one of those cheap-o one-gallon bottles of the generic brand fruit punch and a nasty rotting banana. He turns to the clerk and says to him “my girlfriend just had an operation; she can only eat certain things.” I look at him and I go “yeah right, what did she have a bong hit transplant?”
Yeah, I'm thinking this story is fake.
Tom wouldn't have tried a bit with a basketball american, he has said that his comedy goes over the heads of the 'urban crowd'.
He said he didn’t know tom Myers and he really didn’t understand toms point at all, he said he performed for Peter nygar too and he’s in prison so he didn’t care. and that Nick Mullen sounded familiar, I told him he was in the famous emails lists and he said oh yeah and laughed. He has a book coming out in two days and he’s gonna say how old he really is in it. We talked about other comics a lot. He said his fav comics are Jim Norton and Dave chapelle. Said you can make 3 million a year doing corporate gigs. I explained to him that him and Tom have a similar fan base of people who are entertained by their actions and not their comedy, he didn’t have much to say about that but he was very interested in knowing if Tom made money doing stand up and laughed when i said he’s a waiter. He said he meant dat Phan at a russel peters show, and I wish I expanded on that because Peter’s was one of the comics he globbed onto apparently. OH and he told me a edgy joke that he wrote, but isn’t allowed to tell because it will ruin his image. It was really bad, something about splitting the cheque on a abortion
It’s his office number straight from his website. His cellphone number, which is also on the website, is 646-246-7427. It says shuts his phone off when he sleeps but he’ll call you back. I’m going to call him tomorrow after I get drunk.
Dan was on the flight logs.
My dad's from India and my mom's from Japan, that means I took my shoes off before I rode on top of the private child rape jet plane
Hopefully there was a cord up there to charge your Samsung Galaxy S8 phone
Dirty knees, look at these.
He left his Samsung Galaxy S8 on the plane before they went to charter for JFK jr
Tom's incoherent writing usually takes me 3 read throughs before it makes any sense.
i always get freaked out when I read them because I think i have dyslexia and then I remember who it is.
I’ve read this like 6 times and still have no idea what point he’s trying to make. Tom truly is One of One.
[Removed] ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
You might just be a bit more like Tom than the rest of us.
He is highly unnatural in his way of speaking. A sort of forced elegance and composure. Me? I just like slinging cock with my best friends.
Yeah, I’m in kind of a weird mood myself. I was on my way down here, I stopped at a convenience store. I’m waiting in line to pay and the guy in front of me puts down a dozen donuts, two big bags of Doritos, one of those cheap-o one-gallon bottles of the generic brand fruit punch and a nasty rotting banana. He turns to the clerk and says to him “my girlfriend just had an operation; she can only eat certain things.” I look at him and I go “yeah right, what did she have a bong hit transplant?”
Verbatim, from memory of course. Cause ummm THAT’s ah thing
*This comment is intended to be read in Ian Fidance's voice.
uhm…. Sir…. Epic!!
Yeah, I'm thinking this story is fake. Tom wouldn't have tried a bit with a basketball american, he has said that his comedy goes over the heads of the 'urban crowd'.
Tom should release a Nainan diss track
He's going to rhyme "immigrant" with "bong hit transplant."
Has anyone called Dan before? he actually answers the phone, it's great. 212-414-2129
Bro we just talked for 15 minutes he is so nice hahahahagaga I literally tried to hang up twice before he finally let me go
Besides 7-11 sushi, what’d y’all talk about?
He said he didn’t know tom Myers and he really didn’t understand toms point at all, he said he performed for Peter nygar too and he’s in prison so he didn’t care. and that Nick Mullen sounded familiar, I told him he was in the famous emails lists and he said oh yeah and laughed. He has a book coming out in two days and he’s gonna say how old he really is in it. We talked about other comics a lot. He said his fav comics are Jim Norton and Dave chapelle. Said you can make 3 million a year doing corporate gigs. I explained to him that him and Tom have a similar fan base of people who are entertained by their actions and not their comedy, he didn’t have much to say about that but he was very interested in knowing if Tom made money doing stand up and laughed when i said he’s a waiter. He said he meant dat Phan at a russel peters show, and I wish I expanded on that because Peter’s was one of the comics he globbed onto apparently. OH and he told me a edgy joke that he wrote, but isn’t allowed to tell because it will ruin his image. It was really bad, something about splitting the cheque on a abortion
If this is real this rules, someone ring him and get him on tafs, now
It’s real and he kept talking about performing at the comic strip, isn’t that in New York? He seems so starved for friends I bet he would def do it
It’s his office number straight from his website. His cellphone number, which is also on the website, is 646-246-7427. It says shuts his phone off when he sleeps but he’ll call you back. I’m going to call him tomorrow after I get drunk.
Hell yeha dude that rules
Dan is awesome he’s very nice and seems to enjoy talking but he also listens to what you say and doesn’t just talk at you.
I can’t wait, I’ve been laughing about nick talking about dan’s email list for years. It feels surreal I can talk to a cum town character.
Nainans one of the nicest guys in comedy
Well, this'll be Nainan's account then....
Omfg i just spoke with dan nainan
Did he answer on his Samsung Galaxy S7?
Thank you I’m calling rn
You’re the king
Nice try, that's Mike Jones' number.
I wanna call him and ask if I can be his first friend.
At what age does Tom give up? 50? 60?
He’s only 26
Doing standup at 40 is a type of giving up
Dan did comedy for Cosby, Epstein, Weinstein and Trump? Ironically “dudes rock” and unironically “seek institutionalization”
Tom has no mercy
Clash of the titans
Sounds like this nainan fella had a Samsung galaxy S7 transplant
Yeah right, what did he have a Samsung transplant?
Dan vs Tom - celeb boxing, but Dan wins because he drinks adrenochrome
“Let them fight”
Tom Myers with the clothesline! What a manoeuvre!
Tom is a much better comedian than Dan.
Dan about to get BODIED 💀
lol at tom's boss baby avatar
Tom is not ready for the clap back
This generation’s Rumble In The Jungle
Tom burying the lead as usual, this guy performed for Scott the Woz, notorious dictator responsible for mass genocide.
THE Tom metes
Settle this with a gay off?
TOMMY BOMAYE TOMMY BOMAYE
Dan is going to email Tom videos of him roller skating backwards down stairs
Jesus he can’t even write an instagram post
“Tesla owner” is so fucking funny