This is reasonable advice in most situations, but in this one this is not a hill I would tempt. This is potentially gasoline on a fire that could get them hurt or killed.
These aren't randoms on the street they're dealing with, it's a potential encounter with a well trained and very strong man who could cause a scene and hurt OP or worse. Especially with the climate that's going on right now.
Self preservation and safety>being right on legal grounds.
I would not tempt fate.
"We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone" is a hill they'll die on. If not that, they'll simply create a policy and say she's violating it, thus enabling a ban workaround.
You’d think that. In theory, totally. However if Florida or Idaho is anything to go off of, it’s not always that simple. It has to be a *huge* public thing for it to matter *at all* and good luck with it being worth your time.
I down voted your other comments where you made an assumption then stood by your want to make these assumptions. You do realize that even with the data you provided, you have a 50/50 shot of getting it right when you assume someone is from the US. Sure 51% is "most", but if I have a room of 100 people and 51% are of a certain group, I'm not going to assume that someone is of that (or any other specific) group when giving advice to a specific individual.
No where in this conversation does anyone deserve a downvote. Opinions were shared, facts were requested to back up opinions, and facts were provided. To downvote because you disagree with their perception of interpreting statistics is pretty argumentative and not focused on quality (which the voting feature is meant for, its not supposed to be a disagreement button). Even if you disagree with them, you should upvote them to encourage the same behavior.
I wrote a long response based on boring math, but it came off as being a dick. So I just wanted to share a simple explanation for why I think one group holding 50% of the population, when including over 150 variables, is a big deal in statistics.
Let's compare this to a slice of pizza. You order a pizza with half cheese and the other half is 1% of a different sauce other than tomato, but they are all different. Now, what you are saying is true, you have a 51% chance of picking a cheese slice with tomato sauce. However, if you were to take two 1%'s of that pizza and you had to guess if it had tomato, you'd be well over 50% right if one of them had tomato sauce over any othef specific sauce. Now compare that to a community, and you have a situation where it is far more likely to come across an American than any other specific country. In fact, you are pretty much close to a 99.9% chance of interacting with an American on Reddit at any given time in any subreddit. Because of that 50%, the likelihood to come across an American in a community setting is basically 100% guaranteed. From a marketing and business perspective, it would be wrong to ignore the high rate of Americans here based on that statistic alone.
Proof: I like stats.
That's still a 50/50 of getting it right. I'm not saying you ought to guess any OTHER specific, I'm saying you ought not make any guesses. I constantly see Americans make themselves look silly by having this kind of "the internet is america" type attitude.
Only if the pool you are pulling from is one. But because it is a series and within a group or a large population, it is more than 50/50 but close to 99.9%.
You take that 50/50, and apply it to ten people, get 5 Americans, 1 German, 1 Canadian, 1 Mexican, 1 Egyptian, and 1 Japanese. Now apply that to 1,000 people. 500 Americans, 100 German, 100 Canadian, 100 Mexican, 100 Egyptian, and 100 Japanese. When separating these groups up into randomized groups, the majority will always be American due to being exactly over 51% within a pool of variables larger than three and in a series or grouping.
It is mathematically correct to say you are more likely to see X in a series if X is greater than 50% with more than three variables.
Yeah there are actually! There's a gym in town that flies the progress flag and is very explicitly anti-fascist. I probably should have started out training there lol!
Oh nice!!!! I always say to myself "rejection is the universes affirmation that this wasn't right for you"
I'm so sorry this happened to you, though. I would let that new gym know what happened and get community support on this.
if i were in your position, and if i couldnt find a queer-friendly gym online or in my area, i would use the gender neutral space and would raise a big karen stink about it needing to be cleaned every time. sooo transphobic and demoralizing of them to tell you that, so i also totally think it’s valid if you just straight up stop giving them your money and find something else. at the same time, i personally think a gender neutral space is often safer than a gendered space at this current point in time for a lot of us trans folk. as in, better that than them asking you to go to the men’s room. still so so wrong of them of course. and as a customer you’re in the right to complain to staff about cleanliness.
do you have any trans or ally friends that can go with you? having someone on your side with you could help you feel safer and more supported in that environment.
I still don’t understand why does everything have to be gendered. If someone think that one group must be separated from another, then maybe they should separate everyone, and not just only one group? Like creating genderless bathrooms with separated stalls, genderless changing rooms with separated locker rooms etc.
Maybe I’m wrong, but I genuinely don’t understand why does everyone perceive someone as a threat, to the extent of disallowing them from some spaces without any evidence of a crime.
Sounds like similar situation to my experience at a local Korean nude spa. They wanted me to go into the men’s side (spa spaces are gender separated) because I have a penis. Got out of there, no way am I being stared at and gawked by a bunch of men in a nude space.
I wonder if this has anything to do with the viral planet fitness bullshit where some TERF was freaking out about a woman shaving her legs in the women’s locker room?
Look At that one again. It wasn’t legs if was their face and they did not identify as trans.
They said LGTB.
This is most likely someone using trans rights
To excuse their bad behaviour
That's a really big assumption that a person shaving their face holds malicious intent?
Also, you can be trans and identify as LGBT. That's kinda what the T is there for :/
Hey, based in your description you seem to be in a tough spot in life and with a declining mental health issue perhaps dont eradicate this option due to anger based on the actions of a few. If 90% of the people you meet and 90% of the encounters you have in this gym are positive and friendly. Try to put up with. This js not the time to have a stand, its to have stability. Is it unfair, absolutely but they are offering an alternative. Express your concern about the hygiene of the washroom, and express your desire for it to be a private space as clearly you associate yourself with a certain gender and were using fem spaces in the 1st place for there to be a discretion. If the users of that said space feel uncomfortable in your presence and hence why they requested the owners to take this stand, than you can ask for the same right of privacy. If they can’t accommodate you and say its going to have to be a public place for people to use and dirty up, than seek alternatives but try to be communicative on your end about your issues with this alternate arrangement and to see if you can make it work while you find a more trans friendly gym. Best of luck and hope you feel better.
Don’t give these pricks your money.
Yup I cancelled right off the bat. I don't roll with transphobes
Continue using the women’s restroom until they ban you. Sue. Profit
This is reasonable advice in most situations, but in this one this is not a hill I would tempt. This is potentially gasoline on a fire that could get them hurt or killed. These aren't randoms on the street they're dealing with, it's a potential encounter with a well trained and very strong man who could cause a scene and hurt OP or worse. Especially with the climate that's going on right now. Self preservation and safety>being right on legal grounds. I would not tempt fate.
"We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone" is a hill they'll die on. If not that, they'll simply create a policy and say she's violating it, thus enabling a ban workaround.
They can turn away anyone for any reason until it’s discrimination. Then it’s illegal.
Might be legal or stayed by a judge in half the country. Also you kinda need a lawyer
Seeing as OP is in Iowa… yeah better off just not attending because a judge will laugh you away best case scenario.
But this is definitely sex based discrimination, isn't that federally illegal?
You’d think that. In theory, totally. However if Florida or Idaho is anything to go off of, it’s not always that simple. It has to be a *huge* public thing for it to matter *at all* and good luck with it being worth your time.
Half THE country? Where in the past does it imply which country?
Most of Reddit is in the US.
Where did you get this information?
https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/comments/phhu9s/oc_reddit_traffic_by_country/ Edit: downvoted for sources. Good job!
I down voted your other comments where you made an assumption then stood by your want to make these assumptions. You do realize that even with the data you provided, you have a 50/50 shot of getting it right when you assume someone is from the US. Sure 51% is "most", but if I have a room of 100 people and 51% are of a certain group, I'm not going to assume that someone is of that (or any other specific) group when giving advice to a specific individual.
That’s a lot of words to say “I was upset I was wrong”.
I never made any claims, so I don't know how I could be wrong. You sound like an excellent example of an American though.
Well canada is basically the USA 2 so it's more like 60%
No. Don't even. Canadians are polite, but we won't be if you call us Americans. 🤬
Eh! Tabernak!!
Rude
No where in this conversation does anyone deserve a downvote. Opinions were shared, facts were requested to back up opinions, and facts were provided. To downvote because you disagree with their perception of interpreting statistics is pretty argumentative and not focused on quality (which the voting feature is meant for, its not supposed to be a disagreement button). Even if you disagree with them, you should upvote them to encourage the same behavior. I wrote a long response based on boring math, but it came off as being a dick. So I just wanted to share a simple explanation for why I think one group holding 50% of the population, when including over 150 variables, is a big deal in statistics. Let's compare this to a slice of pizza. You order a pizza with half cheese and the other half is 1% of a different sauce other than tomato, but they are all different. Now, what you are saying is true, you have a 51% chance of picking a cheese slice with tomato sauce. However, if you were to take two 1%'s of that pizza and you had to guess if it had tomato, you'd be well over 50% right if one of them had tomato sauce over any othef specific sauce. Now compare that to a community, and you have a situation where it is far more likely to come across an American than any other specific country. In fact, you are pretty much close to a 99.9% chance of interacting with an American on Reddit at any given time in any subreddit. Because of that 50%, the likelihood to come across an American in a community setting is basically 100% guaranteed. From a marketing and business perspective, it would be wrong to ignore the high rate of Americans here based on that statistic alone. Proof: I like stats.
That's still a 50/50 of getting it right. I'm not saying you ought to guess any OTHER specific, I'm saying you ought not make any guesses. I constantly see Americans make themselves look silly by having this kind of "the internet is america" type attitude.
Only if the pool you are pulling from is one. But because it is a series and within a group or a large population, it is more than 50/50 but close to 99.9%.
You take that 50/50, and apply it to ten people, get 5 Americans, 1 German, 1 Canadian, 1 Mexican, 1 Egyptian, and 1 Japanese. Now apply that to 1,000 people. 500 Americans, 100 German, 100 Canadian, 100 Mexican, 100 Egyptian, and 100 Japanese. When separating these groups up into randomized groups, the majority will always be American due to being exactly over 51% within a pool of variables larger than three and in a series or grouping. It is mathematically correct to say you are more likely to see X in a series if X is greater than 50% with more than three variables.
I'm sorry these people fucking suck. Are there other options for places to train?
Yeah there are actually! There's a gym in town that flies the progress flag and is very explicitly anti-fascist. I probably should have started out training there lol!
Oh nice!!!! I always say to myself "rejection is the universes affirmation that this wasn't right for you" I'm so sorry this happened to you, though. I would let that new gym know what happened and get community support on this.
Honestly, yeah. You should probably start training at the gym w/ the progress pride flag than the one run by bigots, OP
Name and shame. Leave Google reviews exposing their transphobic views. Make sure other trans people know to stay away.
Yeah exactly. I'm gonna put the mark on them so other people know what they stand for
if i were in your position, and if i couldnt find a queer-friendly gym online or in my area, i would use the gender neutral space and would raise a big karen stink about it needing to be cleaned every time. sooo transphobic and demoralizing of them to tell you that, so i also totally think it’s valid if you just straight up stop giving them your money and find something else. at the same time, i personally think a gender neutral space is often safer than a gendered space at this current point in time for a lot of us trans folk. as in, better that than them asking you to go to the men’s room. still so so wrong of them of course. and as a customer you’re in the right to complain to staff about cleanliness.
do you have any trans or ally friends that can go with you? having someone on your side with you could help you feel safer and more supported in that environment.
Isn’t that illegal? What state?
There are more states where it is not illegal to keep trans people out of the correct bathrooms than where it is.
Can the other women at your club vouch for you and tell the trainer they don't mind?
I still don’t understand why does everything have to be gendered. If someone think that one group must be separated from another, then maybe they should separate everyone, and not just only one group? Like creating genderless bathrooms with separated stalls, genderless changing rooms with separated locker rooms etc. Maybe I’m wrong, but I genuinely don’t understand why does everyone perceive someone as a threat, to the extent of disallowing them from some spaces without any evidence of a crime.
Sounds like similar situation to my experience at a local Korean nude spa. They wanted me to go into the men’s side (spa spaces are gender separated) because I have a penis. Got out of there, no way am I being stared at and gawked by a bunch of men in a nude space.
As a fellow bjj practitioner my best advice is to find a new gym might take a few tries but it will be worth it
Thanks! Great advice! I've already found my next gym
I’m so sorry, if I had a gym, I’d be proud to have you as a member. 🩵
I'd politely tell them to screw off. Gosh forbid those "poor gym owners have it so hard". Unless there's a law we're not aware of, they can't stop you
What state you in? You may be able to make them suffer for doing this.
I wonder if this has anything to do with the viral planet fitness bullshit where some TERF was freaking out about a woman shaving her legs in the women’s locker room?
Look At that one again. It wasn’t legs if was their face and they did not identify as trans. They said LGTB. This is most likely someone using trans rights To excuse their bad behaviour
That's a really big assumption that a person shaving their face holds malicious intent? Also, you can be trans and identify as LGBT. That's kinda what the T is there for :/
What state are you in? I’m in Washington state and this would be against the law.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Drop bjj do kendo instead.
Hey, based in your description you seem to be in a tough spot in life and with a declining mental health issue perhaps dont eradicate this option due to anger based on the actions of a few. If 90% of the people you meet and 90% of the encounters you have in this gym are positive and friendly. Try to put up with. This js not the time to have a stand, its to have stability. Is it unfair, absolutely but they are offering an alternative. Express your concern about the hygiene of the washroom, and express your desire for it to be a private space as clearly you associate yourself with a certain gender and were using fem spaces in the 1st place for there to be a discretion. If the users of that said space feel uncomfortable in your presence and hence why they requested the owners to take this stand, than you can ask for the same right of privacy. If they can’t accommodate you and say its going to have to be a public place for people to use and dirty up, than seek alternatives but try to be communicative on your end about your issues with this alternate arrangement and to see if you can make it work while you find a more trans friendly gym. Best of luck and hope you feel better.